Swear to Me- Lilian Monroe

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The Clarke Brothers Series: Book 2

Swear to Me A second chance mountain romance

Lilian Monroe www.lilianmonroe.com Twitter: @Lily_Author Facebook: @MonroeRomance Instagram: @lilianmonroe.author

Copyright © 2018 Lilian Monroe All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without prior written permission from the author except for short quotations used for the purpose of reviews.

Chapter 1 - Dominic

I love the smell of sulphur that hits my nose when the match bursts to life. I watch the tiny flame for a second as it shifts and dances in the light breeze. I glance up at the sky, littered with a million stars, and then down to the huge, looming building in front of me. I can smell the gasoline soaking into the ground and into the timber at my feet. The luxury hotel is like a stain on the side of the mountain. It shouldn’t be here. Still, as I stand here with the match in my hand, I can’t help but hesitate. My brother Ethan drops his match. I hear the whoosh and crack of a new fire coming to life across the construction site. Sheriff Whittaker is next, igniting the north side of the building. I watch the two fires start to lick at the new construction. They climb up the bare beams and travel along the trails of gasoline that we sprayed all over the ground floor. The match is burning close to my fingers. I watch the small flame for a second more, and finally drop it at my feet. I take a step back as the

gasoline ignites. It starts as a low blue flame, travelling fast along the fuel that I just splashed over the ground. A deep sense of satisfaction wells up inside me as I watch the fire ignite. I’m transfixed, watching the flames as they dance along the side of the half-built hotel. The heat of the fire starts to warm my face and clothes until it’s almost too much. When it starts climbing up the beams, I turn away and walk back towards the trailhead where we came from. Ethan and Bill are already there. They nod at me, and the three of us turn towards the building once again. We watch it in silence until the flames have overtaken the half-constructed luxury hotel. “Let’s get out of here,” Ethan says in a low voice. I grunt in response and turn back towards the trail. We walk in silence, waiting a few minutes before fishing our head lamps out of our pockets and turning them on. It’s a two-mile hike before we get to the old logging road where we parked our trucks. When we get there, Bill extends a hand towards me. “Good work, Dominic. Ethan. I never thought I’d commit a felony as Sheriff, but I can’t feel guilty about this one. That hotel would have been the end of this town – and the end of these forests as we know them.” “It’s better off gone,” Ethan replies. Bill nods his hand and heads off towards his truck. I

jump into mine and Ethan gets into the passenger’s seat. The engine rumbles to life and the two of us head back down towards the town of Lang Creek. We crest over a hill and I see the fire burning behind us in my rear-view mirror. I stop the truck and jump out. Ethan follows. We climb into the bed of the pickup and watch the fire burning for a few minutes. As the flames lick higher and higher, the corners of my lips start to lift up with it. A siren wails in the distance, and Ethan and I exchange a knowing look. Gradually, a laugh starts rolling through my chest until my shoulders are shaking and I’m throwing my head back. I clap my brother on the back and he grins at me. “I can’t believe we fucking did that,” I finally say as I shake my head. Ethan laughs. “I can.” “Let’s go,” I finally say, staring at the fire one last time and shaking my head. As we drive away, the smell of smoke lingers in my nostrils and I grin. It’s a crime, and it should be wrong, but it feels so, so right.

One year later… I look at the dregs of beer left in the bottom of my bottle and I sigh. It’s probably time to go

home now. My brother Aiden and his new wife Madeline are cuddling at the long table with stars in their eyes. It was a great ceremony and a beautiful wedding that the whole town came to. I’m happy for him, of course. He’s my brother. How could I not be happy for him? He’s found a beautiful wife, started his own garage and hardware store in town, and finally found happiness. After ten years of grief following Dad’s death, that’s something to celebrate. I just can’t shake the feeling that something isn’t right. Maybe this sour feeling in the pit of my stomach is just plain old jealousy. I jump when Bill Whittaker puts his hand on my shoulder. He hands me a new beer and I nod in thanks. “Why the long face, Dominic? Aren’t you happy for your brother?” “Delighted,” I say. “Just tired, I think. Long day.” Bill takes a seat next to me. He spreads his legs wide and sighs. It’s strange seeing him in regular clothes. He’s usually always wearing his dark blue uniform and wide-brim hat. Even when we snuck through the forest to burn down that damned hotel, he was in uniform. He looks over at Aiden and Maddy and nods. “They make a good couple. Aiden deserves

a bit of peace.” I don’t bother looking over at my brother and his new wife. I grunt in response and put my empty beer bottle down on the table in front of me. The plastic chair groans underneath me as I move, and I wonder how long until it collapses. It probably wasn’t made for someone my size. Bill stares at me for a few moments. “Are you okay, Dominic? Ever since that whole thing with the hotel…” “I’m fine,” I interrupt. “Fine.” Bill stares at me and nods his head a few times. “Are you having regrets?” “Regrets?” I say, shifting my weight again and looking at him. I snort, and for the first time in hours, my lips curl into a grin. “Not a fucking chance.” Bill laughs and raises his beer towards me. I clink my fresh bottle against his and smile again, shaking my head. “Best thing we ever did was burn that thing down,” I say before taking a sip. “Yup,” Bill replies. The two of us fall into a comfortable silence and I think about that night last year. The whole town was up in arms about the new luxury hotel being built on the outskirts of town. When it burned down, it was like everyone celebrated for weeks. Everyone except the McCoys, obviously. They owned part of the new hotel before it unfortunately

went up in flames. People suspected my brothers and I, and the three of us were treated like heroes. Aiden didn’t have anything to do with it, but it’s not the type of thing you talk about after it’s done. I hadn’t expected that much attention. They still look at me differently, even a year later. It’s almost like a sort of reverence. The McCoys haven’t said a word to me since the whole thing happened, and I’m not complaining. They keep to their side of town, and I keep to mine. I still have that deep, endless desire to get even with them, but I don’t know how. I shake my head to pull myself out of my reverie and nod to Bill. “I’ll see you around, Bill. Time for me to head home.” “Take it easy, big fella.” I stand up and stretch my body. I’ve been working hard at my workshop lately, and every muscle in my body is screaming for rest. “Hey,” Bill calls out as I turn away. I look over my shoulder at him. “You heard Mara McCoy’s coming back?” I frown as I think of the McCoy girl. I shake my head. “No, is she?” “Due back any day now. Didn’t work out with her rich businessman.” I grunt in response before turning away.

Why is he telling me that? Why would I care? Something stirs in the depth of my stomach as I think of the McCoy girl, but I shake my head and ignore it. It takes a few minutes to say my goodbyes, and I breathe a sigh of relief when I finally head down the mountain towards my little cabin on the outskirts of town. As much as I love my brother, and as much as I’m happy for him, I can’t wait to be back in the peace and quiet of my own four walls.

Chapter 2 - Mara

“The car is waiting outside, ma’am,” Claire says. I look at my fiancé’s personal assistant and nod. Well, ex-fiancé’s personal assistant, I guess. I zip up my last suitcase and stand it up. Claire makes a move towards me, but I hold up a hand. “It’s okay, I’ll bring it down.” “Sure,” she says. She’s a true professional. This whole time, she’s kept a straight face and helped me as much as she could as I moved out of this beautiful house. I’ve called this place home for the past two years, and now I’m being thrown out like some kind of squatter. Vincent didn’t even have the decency to come here himself. He sent his assistant to deal with me, and that stings almost as much as the breakup. I swallow my bitterness and square my shoulders. Lifting my chin up, I wheel the last of my suitcases out the door. I hear it click shut behind me and Claire’s footsteps follow a few seconds later. We walk down the hallway in silence, both staring straight ahead. Not a word is

spoken between us until we walk out the front door and get to the car. The driver grabs my suitcase from me and packs it into the trunk before opening the back door for me. I have one foot already in the car when Claire clears her throat. I look at her, wondering what other ridiculous request Vincent has made. I almost feel sorry for her. She still has to put up with him. “Miss McCoy,” she says, hesitating. “For what it’s worth, I thought you were wonderful. I’m sorry –” “Don’t apologize, Claire,” I say as a pang passes through my heart. “It’s not you that should be sorry. And for the last time, call me Mara!” There’s a hint of a grin on Claire’s face, and she nods her chin down once. “Mara, then. Good luck.” I climb into the car as the driver shuts the door. He slides into the driver’s seat and thankfully doesn’t say a word to me as we head towards the airport. We drive through the winding roads, packed with mansion after mansion before we get onto the freeway. I watch the buildings go by and bid a silent goodbye to Silicon Valley. Maybe this is for the best. I’m not a California girl. Never was, and probably never will be. I’ve never fit in here. I’m from a tiny town in the heart of the Adirondack mountains, where the

trees are old and the mountains are older. I take a deep breath and close my eyes, leaning my head back on the headrest. A tear falls from the corner of my eye and I quickly brush it away. I didn’t think it would end this way, and the shock of it still hurts almost more than the fact that it’s over. Like a fool, I thought Vincent actually loved me. I thought he’d wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. Like a fool, I thought the construction of the hotel at Lang Creek was secondary to our relationship. I thought that luxury hotel brought us together, and love united us – not the money the hotel would bring. I was wrong. It stings – the rejection. It makes my heart squeeze and my cheeks burn when I think about it. How could I be so stupid? I should have known at the very beginning. I saw Vincent’s demeanor change from cold and distant to charming the instant the hotel deal was on the table. I should have known it wasn't love. I was nothing but a pawn that my parents used. Again. Another tear escapes my eyes and I brush it away angrily. I set my jaw. I’m not going to let that happen again. I won’t be used and sold off to some rich businessman just so my parents can profit off it. That hotel burning down was the best thing

that ever happened to me. Now I know who Vincent is, and I won’t be married to him for the rest of my life. Now I know that my parents think they can use me for their own personal gain. The bitterness seeps into my veins and I savor the taste of it. I’ve been such a fool. I’ve believed I was loved and appreciated for who I was, but I’ve only ever been loved for what I have. And now? What do I have? A broken engagement, no money, no prospects… I’ve got nothing. I have to go back to the people that put me in this position in the first place. My parents got a tidy sum from the insurance check when the hotel burned down. That helped ease their fury at the whole thing. They still haven’t forgiven the Clarke brothers, but what can they do when the Sheriff himself won’t do anything about it? I smile as I think of the small-town politics I’m about to fly back into. It’s like a hornet’s nest, and for the first time in my life I’m going back with my eyes wide open. I know who my parents are. I know how they’ve built their business and made their money, and I know that it hasn’t been from honest, hard work. I don’t want to be a part of that – but for now, I need some time to get back on my feet. I’m still reeling from Vincent breaking off the engagement, and my head spins whenever I think

of my parents. I just need some time to figure everything out. I need to figure out who I am and what I want. I won’t be used in any other business deals. I won’t be sold off to the highest bidder and then returned when it all falls to pieces. I’m going to go back home and tell them exactly what I think of them. The driver pulls up to the airport departures and hops out of the driver’s seat. By the time I’ve climbed out of the car, he’s found a trolley and started loading my bags onto it. He smiles at me sadly and touches his cap. “Good luck, Miss McCoy.” “Thanks, Will. Take care.” I grab the handle on the trolley and set off towards the airport’s sliding glass doors without looking back. My heart is beating and my mouth feels dry as I check into my flight and make my way through security. I never thought I’d be this nervous to go home. When the plane lifts off the runway, I watch the brown and green hills fall away beneath me. I catch a glimpse of the ocean before we turn east and I bid it another silent goodbye. My heart feels a little bit lighter when I think of the mountains I’m heading back to. My lips curl into a smile and I rest my head back in my seat. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. All I breathe is stale airplane air, but

I can almost taste the sweet, fresh air of the Adirondack mountains. In a few short hours, I’ll be home.

Chapter 3 - Dominic

I wake up to the grey light of dawn – to an aching body and a pounding headache. I didn’t think I’d drank that much at the wedding, but maybe my age is finally catching up to me. I groan as I get out of bed and stretch my stiff limbs. There’s a chill in the air, even though summer is on its way. A shiver passes through my body and I rub my eyes before getting up. It’s not until the scalding hot water from the shower hits my body that I truly start to wake up. I wash myself slowly until I can move normally again, and then pour myself some coffee before heading out to the workshop. The mug is steaming and I can see my breath as I make the short walk across the yard towards my workshop. It’s bigger than my house, but I don’t mind. I don’t need much room to live, but I do need room to work. I throw open the door and turn the space heater on to warm up the shop. I’ll need my fingers to be working properly. I’ve got a lot of detail work to finish up today. My father is the one who showed me the

basics of woodworking. He bought me my first tools and encouraged me to make toys and small pieces of furniture from the time I was a pre-teen. Every time I walk into the workshop and smell the sawdust and fresh cut wood, it takes me back to my youth. I turn to my workbench and look at the half-finished chair that’s laying there. I’ll have to finish the whole set by the end of the week to fill this order. After that, I’m not sure what I’ll do. My list of orders is worryingly short. Furniture-making suits me. I like being alone. I like working alone. The hum of the lathe and the whining of the saw never fails to clear my head and put me in a state of zen. I grab the intricate latticework that I’ve started on the back of the chair and inspect yesterday’s work. Not bad. Business was growing, for a while. I was making a name for myself as the best custom furniture maker in the area. I was even starting to get orders from out of state. But when the hotel burned down, it suddenly seemed like a lot of the bigger companies didn’t want to be associated with me anymore. I keep telling myself it was the right thing to do – that in the long run it’s best that the hotel doesn’t exist. Still, I wish it hadn’t had such a dramatic effect on my business. I lost a couple contracts, and then things slowed so much that I’m

starting to get worried about where my next job will come from. It’s not a good place to be. I glance over at the table and half-finished chairs that I’ve made for this order, and I try to ignore the gnawing thought at the back of my mind: After this one, I’ve got nothing. I take a sip of coffee and put the thought out of my mind. I take a piece of oak and measure it up for a chair leg. Soon, I’m in my element. I’m not thinking about the next job, or money, or my brother and his wife, or the hotel. I’m not thinking about Mara, or why I care that she’s coming back. All that exists is the grain of the wood under my calloused fingers and the smell of sawdust in the workshop. Soon, I’m taking off my jacket and turning off the space heater. I brush my hair off my forehead and open the big garage door at the front of the workshop to let some cool air in. The late spring sun is starting to warm up the earth, and I take a moment to breathe in the fresh mountain air. The cobwebs in my mind have cleared. I know things will work out – they always do. I’m just not sure how. At the end of the day, I’m working for myself in this little paradise in the Adirondacks. What else could I want? As the thought crosses my mind, a truck turns down the quiet road leading to my home and

stops out front of the workshop. Aiden and his new bride hop out. “Dominic!” he calls out, raising his hand in the air. I nod to them. “Aiden, Maddy,” I say. It’s the first thing I’ve said all morning, and the words come out as a growl. “We wanted to stop by to say thank you for yesterday. Your speech was beautiful. Here,” Maddy says, handing me a small box. I shake my head. “You didn’t need to get me anything,” I say. She smiles. “Open it.” I lift off the cover and pull out a thick frame around a small wooden figure of a bear. The corners of my mouth lift up and I start to chuckle. “My first wood carving,” I say, shaking my head. I look at the two of them. “Where did you find this?” “Found a box of Dad’s things in the attic,” Aiden responds. “He kept it all those years. Maddy thought it would be nice to frame it for you.” I feel my chest get heavy, and a wave of guilt washes over me. I shouldn’t have been jealous yesterday, or upset at them. Maddy has lifted Aiden’s spirits and made him into a new man. He’s laughed more in the past year than he did in the whole decade before it. She’s always thinking

of all three of us brothers. My eyes prickle, and I nod as I look at the carving. “At least I’ve gotten better since then,” I say with a grin. “Workmanship isn’t the greatest.” “Dominic,” Maddy chides with a laugh. “You were nine years old.” She pauses and smiles at me. “Do you like it?” “I love it,” I say. This time my voice is choked with emotion, but I hide it with a cough. I look at the wall where I hang all my hand tools. Dad’s old tools are in the place of honor in the middle of the wall. I walk over and put a hook in the pegboard, and then hang the framed carving beside Dad’s favorite chisel. I take a step back as Aiden and Maddy appear at my side. Aiden puts his hand on my shoulder and nods. “Looks good,” he says. I can only nod in response. I don’t trust my voice. It does look good. I can’t believe my father kept that stupid little bear all those years. I think of all the hours and days he spent teaching me the craft and I shake my head. I need to keep this business going. If not for myself, then for his memory. I stare at the frame for a few more seconds before turning to my brother and Maddy. “You guys heading off now?” They look at each other and smile. “Yep,” Maddy says. “Honeymoon, here we come!”

“Take care of yourself,” Aiden says as he extends his hand to shake mine. I grunt. “You keep saying that to me,” I say. “Are you worried I won’t?” “Just take care of yourself. I’ll see you in a couple weeks.” I watch them get back into their truck and drive off. A small cloud of dust follows their car down the gravel road, and I watch it until the pickup disappears around the corner. I turn back towards the pegboard and look at my first wood carving one more time. The memories that I’ve tried so hard to push aside start flooding in. I think of the hours that my father spent with me. The patience he had. The encouragement he gave me. I stare at the bear for an eternity before shaking my head and looking at the chair on my workbench. All I can do is make this chair the best chair I’ve ever made. All I can do is try to do my best work, and hope that people start noticing again.

Chapter 4 - Mara

“Mara! Let me help you with those bags!” “Thanks, Mom,” I say, hauling the last of my suitcases out of the car and onto the sidewalk. She wraps me in a hug and I can’t help but feel like it’s all an act. I’ve played this moment over and over in my mind for the past two days. How should I react when I see her? What should I say to her? I’ve thought of a thousand different monologues that I could say to my mother and father. I could tell them that I see them for what they are – that I don’t appreciate being treated like a bargaining chip. I could tell them that breaking off the engagement with Vincent has torn me up inside. I could tell them I blame them for putting me in that position. Now that I’m here, though, I don’t know what to say. My mother’s arms are around me and I stare at the town’s hotel over her shoulder. My childhood home. My room was on the ground floor, all the way down at the back. I never wanted for

anything. I got sent away for private schooling, and was able to go to school as an interior designer. My career got put on hold when I met Vincent, but they still gave me everything I needed. I shouldn’t be mad at them, but I am. I should be grateful for all they gave me, but all I can focus on is what they held back. Their love. I remember when Aiden Clarke and I were dating. He was my first boyfriend, and I was head over heels in love with him. It was practically an arranged marriage, the way our two families were aligned. I remember seeing the way his father looked at him – the way he’d ruffle his hair and put his arm around his kids. I remember the sharp pain in my heart when I’d see that, knowing that I’d never get it from my own family. When Aiden’s father died, I felt responsible. I still feel responsible. Based on his reaction last time I saw him, Aiden definitely still blames me for it. All three brothers do, I think. After all, it was me who fell in the river that day. It was me that Mr. Clarke jumped in to save. It was my fault he got pneumonia. At the end of the day, it was my fault he died. My parents bought out the Clarke’s trucking and transportation business to ‘help pay for hospital bills.’ Like a fool, I believed it. It wasn’t until it was my turn to be the victim of their vulture-like

behavior that I realised what they’d done to the Clarkes. They benefited from Mr. Clarke’s death, just like they would have benefited from my wedding to Vincent. They didn’t need me to marry Aiden anymore when they got the trucking business. That, and Mr. Clarke’s death made our teenage relationship fall apart. No wonder everyone paints me with the same brush as my parents. I can’t believe I’ve been so blind. My mother pulls away and looks me in the eye. She frowns, with that fake smile still painted on her lips. “Are you okay, pumpkin?” I blink a couple times and force a smile. “Fine. Just tired, Mom.” “Let’s get you inside. I had your old room prepared for you.” All the monologues that I’d prepared disappear from my mind. Now that I’m here, I don’t know what to say to her. My father appears in the doorway and grabs my suitcase from my hand. He puts his arm around my shoulder and kisses my temple in a stiff movement. I nod, and try to smile again as the three of us head towards my childhood bedroom. After what seems like an eternity, they finally leave me alone. I close the door and look at

the stack of suitcases in the corner. I flop backwards onto the bed and stare at the ceiling. My chest feels heavy and my eyes are prickling with tears. Even after all this, I still haven’t had the courage to stand up to them. I’ve walked right back into my old room and I haven’t said a word to them about anything. I feel like a coward. I feel like a fraud. When I was leaving California, I was pumped up full of courage. This was my chance to finally stand up to them and tell them what I think. This was my time to be my own person and to take back my life. And yet, here I am. I’ve come straight back to my old room without saying anything to them. I’ve let them take me in, and I haven’t even told them that I’m mad at them. It makes me feel like an absolute coward. I take a deep breath to try to relieve some of the pressure in my chest. I squeeze my eyes shut. I’m almost 30 years old, and I’m living with my parents again. I’ve run back home after a failed engagement, straight back to the people that used me as part of their business deal gone wrong. When I open my eyes back up, the tears start streaming down my face. I can’t help it. All the pent-up emotion from my breakup, and from

the series of realizations about my family and about myself – it’s all coming to a head. I’m alone. I’m truly, completely alone. I take a deep breath and blow it out of my nose. I sit up and wipe my face, shaking my head and making a gargled noise as I stand up. When I fell in the river that day, over a decade ago, Mr. Clarke fished me out and stood me up on the bank. He wrapped me in a towel and looked me in the eyes. “Are you okay, Mara?” I remember seeing the little rivulets of water streaming down his cheeks. His hair was plastered to his forehead and his lips were turning blue. His hand were on my arms, rubbing up and down to warm me up. I remember seeing the concern in his face and feeling like his words had real meaning. Are you okay, Mara? I can still see his face, as if he was right here in front of me. When he said it, it sounded like he wanted to know the answer. When my mother asked me if I was okay earlier, it was like she was trying to avoid an inconvenience. No, I’m not fucking okay. I’m very, very far from being okay. I grab my jacket and slip out through the sliding glass door at the back of my room. I glance back across my room and I can hear my mother’s voice calling for one of the housekeepers. I turn

the other direction and slide the door closed again. As soon as the cool mountain air fills my lungs, my shoulders relax and I close my eyes. I take another breath and let the air cleanse my mind until I can open my eyes again. I look out towards the mountains and feel my heart beat a little bit harder. I might be alone, but I’m in my favourite place in the whole world. I set off towards the little dirt path behind the hotel and start walking. I’m alone, and I’m not okay, and I feel like a coward and a failure – but I’m still standing. I glance up the path towards the hill in front of me and I take a deep breath. The crisp air breathes new life into me, and I start putting one foot in front of the other. I tuck my chin into my chest and follow the trail until my mind is clear. I’m still standing. I’m still walking. I’m still here.

Chapter 5 - Dominic

“Did you hear who’s back in town?” my brother Ethan says as he walks through the workshop door. I put down my chisel and look up at him with an eyebrow raised. “Who?” I ask, already knowing the answer. “Mara McCoy. Without her fiancé, apparently.” “Huh,” I say. “She missed the wedding.” Ethan snorts and walks over to my workbench. He leans against it and crosses his arms casually. “Don’t think she’d have been invited.” “Aiden’s moved on, I think,” I reply. “Not sure you can move on from something like that,” Ethan replies. I grunt and turn back to the chair I’m working on. Ethan watches me for a few seconds before clearing his throat. “How are things with you? Has business picked up at all?” I raise an eyebrow and look at him. “Not since you asked me that a couple of days ago, no. Why?”

He shakes his head. “Nah, nothing. Sorry. I just thought you were worried about it.” “Well, yeah,” I say. I don’t know what else to tell him. Of course I’m worried about my livelihood! I’ve worked my whole life to be an expert woodworker and furniture maker. Over the past year, I’ve watched all that work wither away. “Are you…” Ethan hesitates. “Do you regret it? The hotel, I mean.” I take a deep breath and put my chisel down. I glance up at my brother and sigh. Before answering, I walk over to the mini fridge by the door and pull out two cans of beer. I hand him one and open my own as I consider his question. “I don’t know,” I finally answer. “I think it’s better for it to be gone. I just didn’t expect this kind of backlash.” Ethan makes a noise in response as he takes a long drink of beer. He finishes his sip. “I didn’t think people outside of Lang Creek even knew we existed,” he says. “Seems like the news travelled a lot further than we thought.” I snort and lift my eyebrows in response. I glance at the progress I’ve made today – I’m almost done all the chairs. Pretty soon I’ll be out of work. I lean against the bench, and Ethan and I drink in silence. He glances over at the wall and nods his chin towards the framed carving of the bear.

“They showed me that bear the other day. Maddy did a good job framing it. Looks good.” I glance over at it for the hundredth time today and nod my head slowly. “I had no idea Dad kept all that junk. Aiden was saying there were boxes of it in the attic.” “Yeah. He was proud of you, you know. Dad, I mean. All this?” He sweeps his arm across the workshop. “He’d have loved this.” I look around the room at the tools and stacks of wood. I’ve got half-built projects that I’ve designed myself in the corner – a rocking chair, an antique-style side table, a headboard. “Don’t know how proud he’d be to know that I burned it all down along with that hotel,” I say. The bitterness is clear in my voice, and Ethan shakes his head. “We did a good thing, Dominic. The town would have been filled with tourists. They would have trashed the hotel grounds and ruined the forests. Think of how many endangered species there are in this valley alone! We did it for good reason. Everyone in town agreed.” I grunt and Ethan takes a deep breath. “All that bullshit about bringing trade to the area was just the McCoys trying to get their money out of it. That’s why they didn’t tell anyone they owned part of the hotel. One McCoy hotel in town is more than enough. Dominic, you know that,

right?” “Yeah, I know,” I snap. I take a deep breath and put my head in my hand. “Sorry. Look, Ethan, I know all that. I know it’s for the best. I know everyone except the McCoys were happy about it. I know that. But look around you,” I say, pointing to the chair I was working on. “That’s the last fucking chair I have to make. After that, I’ve got nothing. No income. No projects on the horizon. Nothing. And for what? Maybe if that hotel had been built, business would be booming!” “You don’t know that,” Ethan starts. I shake my head. “I know. I know! But then again, I don’t know anything! My head is fucking melted.” “Look, what’s done is done,” Ethan says a little more gently. “The whole town was on our side. We did nothing wrong. The hotel company, the McCoys, the construction company – they all walked away with insurance money in their pockets.” “Well, they’re the only ones with money in their pockets,” I say with a snort. Ethan grins and shakes his head. “It’ll work out.” “I know. And I know that I can go work for Aiden, or I can find work somewhere else around here. I just…” I look around at my workshop and take a deep breath. The smell of sawdust fills my

nostrils and I exhale loudly. “I just really wanted this to work.” “It will,” Ethan says. He stares at me straight in the eye. The dark cloud over me lifts ever so slightly as my brother puts his hand on my shoulder. “It’ll work out.” I nod, and then crumple my beer can and toss it in the garbage. “I’d better get this chair done.” Ethan follows my lead and finishes his beer. “You coming down to Harold’s tonight?” “Yeah,” I grunt. I have no interest in going to the pub tonight and talking to the same people about the same things as last week, but I know that’s not what my brother wants to hear. Ethan nods and walks out the door. It’s not until I hear the workshop door close and his engine rumble to life that I let out a sigh. Usually my workshop is peaceful and undisturbed. It’s where I come to clear my head. Today, it just seems to be making me more confused and more conflicted. I think of Ethan’s words as I pick up my chisel again. It’ll work out. I wish I had his confidence.

Chapter 6 - Mara

By the time I’ve made it to the top of the hill behind the hotel, my cheeks are flushed and my heart is pumping. I’m tired, but it feels good to breathe deeply and to get my blood moving. I stand on the crest and look out over the town of Lang Creek. I can see Harold’s Pub, just a few streets down from my parents’ hotel. People are milling into the pub already. It’s Friday, and Harold will have a live band on later. My eyes drift down Main Street towards the edges of town. There’s a small tendril of smoke coming from the cabin just on the edge of town. It’s from Dominic Clarke’s workshop. I stare at the smoke as it curls and sweeps upwards, finally dissipating into the sky. Dominic Clarke burned down the new luxury hotel that was supposed to be built last year, and in the process he ruined my chances with Vincent. I watch the smoke, mesmerized by the wispy streak in the sky. I should be mad at him. Or at least, I should resent him. But as I watch the smoke curling into

the sky, and I imagine him working on the gorgeous furniture he makes, all I feel is gratitude. He didn’t ruin my chances with Vincent. Instead, he saved me from a loveless marriage. He exposed my parents for who they really are. I take a deep breath of fresh mountain air and stare at the smoke for a while longer. I wonder what Dominic is doing right now? I wonder if the sweat is staining the back of his shirt, and if he’s pushing his thick hair off his forehead. I imagine his face, as best as I can remember it, and something shifts inside me. This feud – whatever it is – between our two families… it’s ridiculous. It’s silly. For the past ten years, ever since Mr. Clarke died after saving me, it’s split the town in two. For a long time, the Clarkes were the outcasts. My parents own the local hotel and the trucking company that dominates the area for a hundred miles. They have a lot of pull in town. When the new luxury hotel burned down, everything changed. Now people look at the Clarke brothers with respect. I heard one man calling them the ‘Keepers of Lang Creek.’ A breeze sweeps through the trees and sends a chill through me. I shiver, snapping out of my daze and finally looking away from Dominic’s workshop. I start back down the path that takes me down the hillside, back towards town.

With every step that I take, my heart feels a little bit lighter. I’m not a coward, or a fool. I trusted my parents, and I trusted my fiancé. I can’t fault myself for that. This could be my chance to reach out to the Clarke brothers and make things right. I could end this feud, once and for all. That could be my atonement for Mr. Clarke’s death. Maybe, if I can find peace with the Clarke brothers, I can finally let go of this dark cloud that’s followed me for ten years. Aiden is married now, so maybe he’ll be ready to forgive me for falling in the river that day. Even if he isn’t, I can do my best to distance myself from my parents’ reputation. By the time I make it back to flat ground, and the McCoy Hotel looms up in front of me, my whole demeanor has changed. The corners of my lips are tugging upwards and there’s a bounce in my step. I glance over my shoulder and look at the small peak that I just climbed. I smile for real as I look over the scenery around me. The familiar feeling of awe and reverence fills me, and I whisper a quiet thank you to the mountains. It’s not until I slide open the back door that the smile fades. Even through the closed bedroom door, my mother’s voice screeches down the hallway. I poke my head out into the hallway and she calls me over.

“Mara! There you are! Come talk some sense into your father!” I walk slowly towards them, finally rounding the corner to see them on opposite sides of the front desk. My father nods at me. He’s a big man, with a round belly hanging down in front of him. His big paws are resting on the counter in front of him and his grey whiskers are trembling as he looks at my mother. “I was just telling your father that we need to make some sort of change around here.” “We don’t have the money, Karen,” my father growls. My mother huffs. “Tim, please. We got four hundred thousand dollars in the insurance settlement. That should be going towards improving this place or expanding it! Our business is stagnating!” I watch the two of them face off, flicking my eyes from one to the other. They almost look like strangers to me. My father’s hair is more grey than it was before, and I see the wrinkles in my mother’s face when she frowns at him. It’s like someone’s wiped the sheen off them, and now I can see their true selves. They’re still my parents, but they’re not the decent, hardworking entrepreneurs I thought they were. My mother turns towards me and lifts her hand towards my father. “Will you tell him? Will

you tell him that we need to do something?” “We can’t just go spending the entire insurance money on this place! We should be investing it in the trucking business. That’s where the money is!” My mother makes a noise, and my father stops talking. The two of them turn to look at me, and suddenly it’s like I’m the one who’s supposed to come up with the answers. I clear my throat and glance from one to the other. “Well,” I answer, choosing my words cautiously. “The hotel is a bit… dated. It could do with some freshening up.” My mother makes a satisfied noise and my father huffs. I hold up my hands. “It doesn’t have to be anything extreme. Didn’t the state government expand their budget for National Parks this year? Maybe we can get listed as approved accommodation with the Park?” “We’ve tried that,” my father says, shaking his head. “There are all kinds of requirements that we don’t meet. We need to have the hotel represent ‘local culture and heritage’, whatever that means.” I try to contain the smile that’s drifting over my face. “I could put this expensive Interior Design degree to good use. I worked on a heritage hotel in California, remember? I’m sure the New York requirements will be similar.”

Both of them look at me, eyebrows raised. My mother opens her mouth and closes it back up. She blows air out of her nose and shrugs her shoulders as she looks at my father. They exchange a look and then turn back towards me. “What is it?” I ask. “You don’t think I’m good enough to work on this place?” “No! Of course not, darling,” my mother croons. “It’s just…” “That’s a good idea, Mara,” my father says. He doesn’t even try to hide the surprise in his voice. I ignore the flash of annoyance inside me. I’ve always known my parents thought I was vapid and thoughtless. These things don’t surprise me anymore. The two of them exchange a glance, and finally my father nods. “Alright. We’ll put a hundred grand into it.” A grin spreads over my face and I dip my chin down. “I can work with that.” I brush past them before they can change their minds. “I’m going to Harold’s, I’ll be back later. We can go over the details tomorrow.” I don’t catch my mother’s words as the hotel door slams behind me. Laughter bubbles up through me, and I glance back at the old hotel. This is either the best idea I’ve ever had – or the absolute worst.

Chapter 7 - Dominic

I finish sanding the last of the chairs and stand it up next to the table. All I need to do now is stain and finish them, and then I’ll be done with my last job for the foreseeable future. I almost regret telling Ethan that I’d see him at Harold’s. As I look at the table and chairs, I take a deep breath and shake my head. Maybe it’ll be good to get out of this workshop. I can have a beer with my brother. I can always leave if I don’t want to be there. After a quick shower, I pull on my jeans a flannel shirt. I comb my hair with my fingers and pull on a thin jacket before jumping into my truck. It bounces down the gravel road until I turn down Main Street towards the other end of town. The lights are on at Harold’s Pub, and there are cars lined up down the block. People come here from miles around on Friday nights – and that’s why I usually avoid it. Tonight, though, the distraction will be welcome. Maybe, if there are enough people and the noise is loud enough, it’ll drown out all the

thoughts running through my mind. I pull the truck up past the pub and hop out, kicking the door closed behind me. The air is cold, and my damp hair starts to feel frosty against my head. I blow out the air from my lungs and turn towards the pub. I’m so focused on getting inside that I don’t see Mara McCoy until we’re almost crashing into each other as we both reach for the door. “Sorry!” she says, glancing up at me. “S’okay,” I grunt. She’s right beside me, and the faint floral smell of her perfume fills my nose. Her eyes are bright blue and her nose is sprinkled with freckles. She smiles at me shyly. “Hey,” she says. It comes out as a breathy whisper, and her eyes drop down. “Hey,” I respond. My throat feels tight, and I’m not sure why. She reaches up to tuck a strand of her long brown hair behind her ear before glancing up at me. “You going to Harold’s?” she asks, nodding towards the door. Her cheeks start flushing and she lets out a laugh. “Stupid question. Sorry. I just… I didn’t know you came here.” “I don’t,” I grunt. “Usually.” She nods once, and I reach towards the door. The noise inside the pub sounds too loud already, but I watch Mara walk in and I follow her anyway. The two of us stand at the bar, and I steal

a glance towards her. It’s been a few years since I saw her, and I forgot how pretty she is. Did she change her hair? Maybe I just always remembered her as the 14 year-old girl that was dating my brother. She’s so.. I don’t know… Womanly? She smiles at Harold behind the bar and leans over to order herself a drink. She nods towards me and Harold nods back. Before I know it, a beer appears in front of me and Mara touches her glass to mine. “I come in peace,” she says with a grin. I can’t help smiling back at her and nodding my chin as I take a sip. “Welcome back,” I respond. “Next one’s on me.” Her face breaks into a smile and white heat runs down my spine to the pit of my stomach. “I’ll hold you to that, Dominic Clarke.” The way she says my name sends another thrill through my stomach. She grins again and slips away towards a group of girls before I can answer. I watch her walk away until she’s with the other girls, hugging them and laughing. Two of them – the Wilson sisters – look over at me and say something to her. I turn my back on the group and bury my face in my beer before Mara glances up at me. I can imagine what they’re saying. They’re

probably talking about how unusual it is to see me here. How business must be especially bad if I’m in for a drink. Maybe they’re talking about the fire… Again. A year later, and it seems to still be the best topic of conversation whenever I’m around. I sigh and slide onto a bar stool. It groans under my weight and I shake my head. I wonder if any furniture is made for someone my size. Everywhere I go, I tower over everyone. I’ve gotten very well acquainted with the tops of people’s heads. I hardly fit through doorways, and I’m constantly afraid of breaking chairs. Maybe that’s why I became a furniture maker, I think as I take another sip. It had nothing to do with my father – I just wanted things I could sit on without fear of collapse. A smile is forming on my lips – right up until my brother claps me on the back. My beer sloshes in the glass and Ethan laughs. “You made it! When you said you were coming down, I didn’t quite believe you.” I grunt in response and take another drink. Ethan waves Harold down and starts chatting to him. They talk about the weather, about the Park – about things I wouldn’t even notice. Sometimes I wonder how Ethan and I are related. Harold walks away and Ethan turns towards me, leaning casually against the bar. His eyes sweep across the small

bar and he grins. “Mara McCoy is here,” he says, nodding his head towards the group of girls. “I know,” I say, staring at the beer she bought me. “I saw her when I walked in.” “She looks good,” he says. “Does she?” I ask, taking another sip of beer. I put the glass down and turn towards her. She glances up at me and the corner of her lip lifts up. My heart jumps in my chest and my cock suddenly feels heavy. Her eyes flick back to one of the Wilson sisters and I turn back to my beer. Ethan finds someone else to talk to and I sit on my own until my beer is empty and Harold puts a fresh one in front of me. I’m staring at the golden liquid, trying to decide if the noise and people are worth the distraction, when I feel a delicate hand on my arm. I jump, looking up to see Mara staring at me with those piercing blue eyes of hers. Her pink lips curl into a smile, and I can’t help licking my lips. Her eyes flick down and my cock twitches between my legs again. That beer has gone straight to my head. She slides onto the bar stool beside me and leans her head on her fist. She smiles at me again. “So,” she says. “Dominic Clarke.” There she goes, saying my name like that again. I look at her, waiting for her to continue.

Harold puts a beer in front of her but she ignores it, keeping her eyes glued on me instead. “It’s good to see you,” she says. Her words surprise me, so I lift my beer to my lips and take a drink, nodding as I put it back down. “It is?” “It is,” she says. Her voice is soft, and I have to strain my ears to hear her over the din in the pub. I flick my eyes over to her and nod, surprised to see how sincere she looks. She takes a deep breath and sighs before standing up again. I’m still scrambling for something to say when she grabs her beer. She puts her hand on my arm again and gives it a light squeeze before slipping away. I look up at the taps of beer in front of me, feeling the emptiness where she was a moment ago. My arm is burning where her fingers were, and the smell of her perfume is still lingering around me. I force myself to keep my face forward, even though every part of me is screaming to turn around. My heart is thumping and my whole body is tense. It’s not until Ethan appears beside me and puts his hand on my shoulder that I start to relax again. He squeezes my shoulder and laughs. “What was all that about?” “All what?” I ask, glancing at him. “You and Mara,” he says. I can hear the grin in his voice as I turn back to my beer. “You

fraternizing with the enemy?” “She’s not the enemy,” I snap. Ethan throws his hands up and laughs. I drain the rest of my beer and stand up, brushing my jacket down. I nod to my brother. “See you later.” “Later,” he says. There’s still a grin in his voice and his eyes are sparkling with mischief. It annoys me, but I don’t know why – and I don’t know how to respond. All I do is spin around and walk straight out the door. When the cool air fills my lungs and the sounds of the pub are muted behind the door, I can finally breathe easy again. I glance behind me, still feeling the heat of Mara’s gaze. I shake my head and stalk towards my truck. I shouldn’t have come out tonight. I don’t understand people, and I usually don’t like them. I have no idea what that was about. The last thing I want to do is start people talking about the Clarkes and the McCoys all over again. I just want to be left alone.

Chapter 8 - Mara

When Dominic leaves the bar, I suddenly don’t feel like being there anymore. Tanya Wilson is telling me about her new boyfriend, and I try to fight the feeling that I couldn’t care less. I almost feel the door closing as Dominic walks out, and I glance over at the seat where he sat only a couple seconds ago. My heart is still thumping and my mouth has gone dry. There’s an undercurrent of electricity coursing through me from head to toe. As I take a deep breath, I can hardly focus on anything but the delicious thrills buzzing through my body. When we ran into each other outside, I could hardly think straight. His body is so muscular, it took all my self-control to keep my eyes on his face. When I went to the bar to get another drink, my hands were itching to touch him. His eyes are a deep brown color, and he was looking at me almost suspiciously. I glance around the bar, wondering how long I’ll last in here tonight. The band is playing and people are dancing, but suddenly I just feel like leaving.

I force myself to stay for another drink, and finally say my goodbyes. “Just tired, long day today,” I say when Tanya asks me why I’m going. She nods in understanding and gives me a hug. I extract myself from the group and finally make it out the door, turning down the road towards my parents’ hotel. I walk slowly, taking deep breaths as I stroll down the street. The old-style street lamps light the way, and I walk by all the familiar shops and houses that I grew up with. This place has hardly changed, but it feels different. Maybe I’m the one that’s changed. Maybe I’m the one that’s seeing it through different eyes. I feel like the new hotel burning down and my breakup with Vincent has made me a different person. The McCoy Hotel is standing proud on the corner in front of me, and I look at the old timber building. I tilt my head to the side as I think about what my parents agreed to. If they follow through with it, I’ll be in charge of renovating this place and getting it approved as National Park sponsored accommodation. I stop on the corner and inspect the building, welcoming the ideas that start flooding my head. I walk up the flagstone path to the front door and smile as I look at the wide porch. When I swing the front door open, I can picture a fresh,

updated design for the lobby. I walk back to my room without seeing anyone, and look around at the standard hotel furnishings that I grew up with. These will all have to be updated as well. I’ll have to put together samples and proposals for the application. I put my hands on my hips and smile as my eyes dart around the room. Get rid of that wallpaper. Replace the blinds. Fresh, cream-colored walls and hardwood furnishings. I grab a pad of paper and start sketching my ideas, staying up until my eyelids are heavy. Finally, I put the pad of paper on the nightstand and collapse into bed, kicking off my clothes and snuggling under the thick duvet. As I fall asleep, I imagine Dominic Clarke’s wide, muscular body. The same current of electricity passes through me until I drift off into a dreamless sleep. I sleep better than I have in weeks. My whole body feels lighter than it did before. I wake up with a smile on my lips as the sun streams through the window. I roll over onto my side and look at the mountain peaks through my window. I’m up and out of bed in minutes. I get ready and grab a quick breakfast before heading out on foot. It’s a short walk to the edge of town, where I turn down a worn gravel road. My feet

crunch on the gravel with every step as I make my way towards Dominic Clarke’s workshop. The doubt starts creeping into my mind as I get nearer to him. Will he be awake? Should I have called? I clutch the pad of paper with my sketches to my chest until the little cabin and the huge workshop come into view. My heart starts beating a bit faster when I see the door to the workshop open. I can’t hear any tools, and the big garage door is closed, but I can see some lights on inside. All of a sudden, my heart is bouncing against my ribcage and doubt starts creeping into my heart. What am I doing here? He didn’t seem to want to talk to me last night… What makes me think he’d want to see me now? Even though I have no hard feelings against his family, what guarantee do I have that he feels the same way? I’ve changed, sure. But everyone else? Everyone else seems to have stayed the same. I take a deep breath and keep my eyes glued on the open door. It’s too late to turn back now. I’ve already promised my parents a design by the end of the week. I know from experience that the best way to get these projects approved by the Parks is to use local craftsmen. It’s the only way this will work – both for the project, and for me. How else will I make it up to the Clarkes and show my parents that I’m not

like them? By the time I’m a couple steps away from the door, my heart is thumping. My mouth is dry, and a bead of sweat rolls down my spine. My cheeks are flushed and I’m clutching the pad of papers with a vice-like grip. I get to the doorway and take a deep breath before stepping through. Dominic has his back to me. He’s wiping down a gorgeous hardwood chair. It’s part of a set of six, as far as I can tell. The back of the chair is an intricate lattice, and the chair legs are perfectly tapered to match the large table beside them. I breathe out as I look at his work. He glances towards me and stands up, wiping his hands on his rag as he turns towards me. He frowns slightly, taking a step in my direction before pausing. “Mara?” “Hi, Dominic,” I say. It comes out as a croak, and I can’t stop my eyes from wandering from his face down to his chest. His thin t-shirt is clinging to his body in the most delicious way, and that flame in the pit of my stomach grows instantly hotter. He takes a few more steps towards me and I lift my eyes up to his. I can see the question in his look, so I hold out the papers in my hand. He glances down and then back up at me. He takes a few more steps towards me and takes the papers from my hands. Suddenly, I’m

embarrassed. They’re not so much sketches as they are scribbles. As I glance around the workshop and I see samples of his work, I feel like a complete amateur. He’s precise, and detailed, and all the bits of furniture that I can see are expertly crafted. He’s frowning as he looks at my drawings, flicking through them one by one. My heart is still thumping and all I can think of is how silly he must think I am. I take a deep breath. “You think you could make those?” He finally looks up at me and nods his chin down ever so slightly. “I could,” he answers slowly. His voice is deep, and it seems to reverberate through my chest. I swallow, letting my eyes drift from his eyes down to his lips and back up again. “Would you?” Where has my voice gone? All my words come out as whispers or croaks, and I can hardly stand on my own two feet without feeling like I’m about to topple over. Dominic hands the stack of papers back to me and stares into my eyes. My palms start to sweat, and I resist the urge to squirm. I want him to look away – to stop this torture. At the same time, though, I want him to keep looking at me like that forever. He finally clears his throat. “Why?”

“Why what?” “Why do you want me to make them?” “We’re remodeling the hotel,” I say. “I’ll pay you, obviously! How much would you charge?” I cringe at my awkwardness. This isn’t going how I planned. But how did I plan it? I had no idea what I was walking into. My eyes drift down to his shoulders, where the fabric of his shirt stretches across them. His chest is so close to mine I could reach out and touch it. I ball up my fist and take a deep breath to try to control myself. Dominic stares at me for a few moments, and then I see a spark in his eye. The corners of his lips lift up and he starts to chuckle. It’s quiet at first, until he’s laughing with his mouth wide open. I smile, confused. He shakes his head and glances at me once more before turning away from me. “Good one,” he says. “I needed a laugh.” He’s walking back towards the table and chairs and I rush after him, putting my hand on his arm. A current of warmth shoots up through my hand as I touch him. “Dominic, I’m serious! We’re trying to get approved as accommodation for the Park. You’re the best woodworker in the state, everyone knows that. I need a new bed and two side tables for every room in the hotel. If we partner together, we could both get recognized as

heritage facilities. It’s a win-win!” Dominic frowns and shakes his head, pulling his arm away. The movement makes my heart sting and I take a step back. “Why do you think I’d help your family? Last time you tried to expand your business, we burned it to the ground, remember?” The words catch in my throat and we stare at each other. I plead with my eyes, opening my mouth and closing it again. I can still feel the heat of his arm on my palm. I look down at my amateurish sketches and then back up at him. “I’m not my parents, Dominic,” I say quietly. I lift my eyes up to him and see his face soften ever so slightly. He glances back down at the papers and slides them out of my hands. The tips of his fingers brush against mine, and I try to ignore the pulsing in the pit of my stomach. He’s so close to me I can hardly think. I don’t know why I’m here. Is it to hire him? Or is it just to be near him? I watch his face as he looks through the drawings again. Finally, he sighs. “I’ll think about it.” With that, he turns back to the chairs and pops open a can of dark wood stain. I watch him for a few seconds before turning around to walk back outside. The sun is shining brightly now, and I shield my eyes with my hand until I can see

properly. The walk back to the main road feels longer than it did on the way in, but maybe that’s because all I can think about is the beating of my heart and the heat in the pit of my stomach.

Chapter 9 - Dominic

The sketches Mara gave me are still sitting on the workbench. I can see them out of the corner of my eye as I run my brush back and forth along the top of the table. I try to focus on my work. I watch the stain as it soaks into the oakwood furniture. I wipe the wood and brush it again to get an even coat, watching the rich, brown color absorb into the grain. The acrid, chemical smell of the stain drowns out any remnants of Mara’s perfume. It’ll take me a few days to stain and seal the new furniture, but by the end of the week I’ll be done. When the first coat of stain is painted on the table, I stand up straight and stretch my back. I’ve opened the big garage door, and a light breeze makes the papers on the bench flutter. I stare at them for a few moments before sighing. I walk over and grab the stack of papers, spinning them towards me on the table. She’s got a good eye. The drawings are a bit rough, but I can already see her intent. I flick from one page to another, looking at the precise detailing that Mara has drawn out, and the more general

sketches of the finished rooms. I lean against my work table and look at all the sketches one by one, shaking my head. I can’t. I know I can’t. I can’t work for the McCoys! It almost killed Aiden to work for them until he got his own garage. And yet, I keep staring at these sketches. I need the work, and a job this big would keep me busy for weeks. If they’re getting recognition by the Park, that would put me on the map and it could turn my business around. If I took the job, I’d almost certainly have to spend time with Mara. My heart thumps at the thought, and I stare at her sketches a bit longer. The breeze washes over me and I can almost smell her perfume again. Long hours, pouring over drawings together, late nights together in the workshop… Shaking my head, I pull myself out of my daydream. I can’t lie to myself – I want to do it. I want to make these pieces, and I want to work with Mara, but… But… I can’t. Mara is the reason my father died. Aiden would never look at me the same if I took this job. I burned down the luxury hotel that her family wanted to build. Do her parents know that she

wants to hire me? Are they okay with it?! The questions are flying around my head, and I just keep staring at the sketches. I flick to the headboard she’s drawn up, tracing the gentle curve of it with my finger. I’ve got a pencil behind my ear, and I grab it and make a few adjustments. I stare at the modified sketch for a few seconds and feel myself start to smile. The next hour goes by in a flash. I’m grabbing an old piece of wood from the back of the workshop and laying it flat. I’m measuring and sketching and sawing and sanding furiously – glancing at the sketch every few minutes. In record time, I stand up a brand new headboard. It’s got the curve that Mara sketched, and some clean grooves and detailing that I added. I stand it up against the wall and take a step back, feeling the pride swell in my chest. It looks good. I haven’t felt that inspired to create something in weeks – maybe longer. I run my hands along the top of the headboard and love how smooth the freshly sanded wood feels under my touch. “I like it!” I jump at the noise and turn to see my brother Ethan in the doorway. I was so focused I didn’t even hear his car pull up. “Thanks,” I respond, turning away from the headboard and back to the table and chairs.

“You got another job? It looks good,” Ethan says, walking towards the headboard and running his hand over it just like I did. I resist the urge to tell him to stop touching it, instead turning back towards the work I’m actually getting paid to do. “Nah, just playing around with some ideas,” I respond without looking up. “What’s up? Two days in a row to visit me? Must be important.” I glance up to see Ethan grinning. “Not happy to see me?” I snort, shaking my head and turning back to my work. “I just wanted to see how you were doing. You left in a hurry yesterday. Harold’s was starting to go off.” “Had enough of the place,” I respond. Ethan grins. “Enough of eyeing Mara McCoy, you mean?” I throw him a glance and put my head down to work again. I try not to bristle as Ethan peers over my workbench at the sketches that Mara left behind. He turns a page over and frowns. “What’s this? Did you do these?” “It’s nothing,” I say, maybe a bit too gruffly. I grab the stack of papers and stuff them in my back pocket. “I’m fine, Ethan. Just need to get these things done.” Ethan stares at me for a few minutes and nods his head. “Alright. I brought you some new

firewood, help me unload it?” I nod, following him out the door. We work silently, unloading his truck and stacking firewood until he claps me on the shoulder and finally leaves. I watch him drive away and let out a sigh. My shoulders slump down and I rub my temples with my fingers. I definitely, absolutely, cannot take this job. Even Ethan looking at some rough sketches had me panicking. What if I was actually working with Mara McCoy! I’d never hear the end of it. I make my way back to the workshop and start closing it up for the evening. Once the big rolling door is closed and everything is put away, I reach back and pull out the crumpled sketches from my back pocket. I can’t take this job. As much as I want to, as much as it would be good for my business, as much as I want to see Mara again, I just can’t. I can’t deal with the questions from Ethan, and the disapproval from Aiden. I can’t deal with the gossip and chatter that would surely follow. I can’t deal with the McCoys. I grab the sketches and toss them into the garbage can, turning my back on them and walking out the door. After a long shower and a cold beer, I have a mediocre dinner of leftovers and fall asleep on the couch. When I wake up to the grey light of

dawn, my whole body is stiff. It aches to get up, and I groan as I put my head in my hands. I can’t get her out of my head. I dreamt of her last night, and I woke up thinking she was beside me. I don’t know how, or why, but Mara McCoy has gotten under my skin.

Chapter 10 - Mara

I wake up to the familiar sounds of the hotel. The restaurant is open, and I can hear the pots and pans banging and the cooks calling out to each other. I used to hate being woken up to that sound when I was a teenager, but now it seems somewhat comforting. It’s strange being back home. I lie in bed and take a deep breath, once again wondering how I came to be staying with my parents when I’m almost thirty years old. I try to push away the thoughts that are telling me that my life is falling apart, and to ignore the sense that I’ve moved backwards. My heart squeezes when I think of my failed marriage. I still feel like such a fool for thinking that Vincent cared about me. I shake my head and swing my legs over the side of the bed. I take a deep breath. I’m not moving backwards. I’m definitely moving forwards. Somehow, I’ve ended up back in my hometown in the heart of the mountains – but in a lot of ways it feels good. I’m away from Silicon Valley and all its fakery. I’m away from my fiancé

and all his fakery. When I stand up and stretch my arms overhead, my thoughts drift to Dominic Clarke. I’ve never noticed how deep his eyes are, or how he smells ever so slightly of pine. His workshop is incredible. All those half-finished pieces in the corner scream out raw talent. I walk to the window and open the blinds, casting my eye over the peaks that surround Lang Creek. I lean against the window frame and stare out as my thoughts wander back to the workshop. Would he ever take the job? I know it’s a big ask. I know that our two families have been at odds for over a decade. I know that he probably hates me in particular, for falling into the creek that day, and causing his father to get pneumonia. I know his brother Aiden hates me. That alone would be enough to refuse the work. But still – would he ever take the job? It would be the biggest job he’s ever got, I have no doubt. It would set him up to be a supplier for a number of heritage properties. He’d be a fool not to take it. I take a deep breath and shake my head. I already know that’s not true. Maybe on paper, it would be a great move – but in practice it would be different. He’d have to work closely with me, and with my parents. He’d have to come to the hotel every week – maybe even every day.

He’ll never take the job. In my heart I know it’s true. He’s the man who burned down the luxury hotel before it was even built. The hotel would have put Lang Creek on the map. It would have brought a huge amount of people and business to the area. If he cared about money, he wouldn’t have done that. I take a breath and turn away from the window, trying to ignore the budding disappointment in the pit of my stomach. It’s not just the work. I’m disappointed that I won’t have an excuse to go to his workshop, and to brush my shoulder against his. I’m disappointed I won’t get to look into those deep brown eyes and steal glances at his chiseled body. By the time I’ve showered, the sun is warming up the air outside. I can tell it’s going to be a gorgeous day, and I glance out the window of my room one more time. If Dominic Clarke won’t build my furniture, I need to find someone who will. With a sigh, I resign myself to the idea of working with someone else. I'll have to atone to the Clarke brothers some other way. I sweep my eyes around my room and try to find the stack of sketches that I drew. My stomach drops when I remember Dominic taking them from my hands at the workshop yesterday. He’s got all of

them, even the concept sketches for the rooms. The thought fills me with a simultaneous sense of excitement and dread. I want to see him again. Before I know it, I’m sliding the glass door at the back of my room open. My feet are taking me back down the road towards the workshop on the edge of town as my heart thumps in my chest. The air is fresh. There’s a bounce in my step as I make my way across town. It’s still early, and the town is quiet. I don’t pass anyone on my way to Dominic’s place, and I’m silently grateful for it. Even going to see him feels like a rebellious move. After only a few minutes, I’m turning down the long gravel drive that takes me into the edge of the forest. Even though Dominic’s cabin is in town, it still feels far removed from it. His house is tucked away at the end of a long driveway, surrounded by dense forest on all sides. I take a deep breath and inhale the fresh air one more time before the cabin and the workshop come into view. I’m relieved to see the lights on in the workshop. He must be working already. I strain my ears to hear any sounds of tools or saws, but I hear nothing – nothing except my footsteps and the beating of my heart in my ears. The big garage doors on the workshop are closed, but the small door beside them is open. Every step that takes me closer makes my heart

beat a little bit faster. Should I have come here? I know the answer to that. I’m basically harassing him at this point. I take a deep breath and shake my head. I’m only here to get my sketches back. I already know he’ll refuse the job, so I can just be graceful and leave on good terms. When I’m two steps away from the open doorway, my heart is hammering in my chest. I close the distance and turn into the workshop, pausing in the doorway and letting my eyes sweep across the big room. Dominic sees me right away and stands up. He’s got a paint brush in his hand, and I can tell he’s working on the table in front of him. He’s wearing a white mask over his mouth and nose. He lifts the mask off his face and moves it onto his forehead as his eyes narrow. “Hey,” I say. “Hey,” he replies. God, I love his voice. I shift my weight from foot to foot and chew my lip. Suddenly I’m nervous, and I don’t know what to say. I take a step towards him almost involuntarily. It’s like something is pulling me towards him. My eyes are glued on his, and he stays completely still. My voice catches when I try to speak, so I clear my throat and try again.

“I was just here to…” Before I can ask him about the sketches, my eyes flick to a huge piece of furniture behind him. It’s a headboard, and the curve of it reminds me of what I drew. My eyebrows knit together and I take another step forward, sweeping my eyes over the headboard. Finally, I drag my eyes back to Dominic’s gaze and swallow before opening my mouth. I take another couple steps towards him so that there’s only the half-finished table between us. I look at the headboard again, and I’m finally able to speak. My voice is hoarse, but I force out the words anyways. “You made it,” I breathe. “You made my sketch.” I make myself glance back at his face. His eyes are dark and unreadable. He’s staring at me with an intensity that I’ve never felt before. My whole body is sparking, and the pit of my stomach is on fire. I can feel the honey pooling between my legs as his eyes burn into mine. I’m afraid to move, afraid to speak, afraid to breathe. All I do is just stand there and look at him until he finally breaks the spell between us and ever so slightly dips his chin.

Chapter 11 - Dominic

Her eyes shift from me to the headboard, and my heart starts hammering against my ribcage. I simultaneously regret making it, and want to ask her what she thinks of it. I want her to like it, and I want her to leave and never come back. I’ve never been this conflicted. I watch as she takes a tentative step towards me. She moves around the table I’m working on and walks towards the headboard. I watch her run her fingers over the top of it, feeling the smooth curve the same way I did. She runs her thumb along the beveled groove that I added, inspecting every inch of the piece. Finally, she takes a deep breath and turns towards me. When her eyes meet mine, a jolt passes through my chest. “It’s beautiful,” she breathes. “It’s better than I imagined.” I grunt. “Thanks.” Her eyes shift back to the wood and she shakes her head. “You’re incredibly talented, you know.” I can’t help but chuckle. “That’s probably

why I’ve got people lining up to buy furniture off me. I’m surprised you could get through the door.” She grins and flicks those blue eyes towards me. The same jolt passes through my chest. She turns towards me, keeping her hands on the headboard behind her. She tilts her head to the side and stares at me curiously. “Why did you make it? I was sure you’d tell me you wouldn’t work with me” “I don’t know. I was sure I’d tell you that too. I still don’t know if I want to work with you.” She dips her chin down and grins. “The old feud strikes again,” she chuckles. The corners of my mouth hitch upwards. “‘Fraternizing with the enemy’, I believe it’s called.” Her smile broadens and her eyes stay glued on mine. It feels like my whole body is pulling towards her. All I want to do is press myself against her and tangle my fingers into that dark brown hair of hers. I want to pull her into me and feel her body against mine. I want to bury my face into her neck and inhale her scent before covering every inch of her skin with kisses. I want to run my fingers over that dusting of freckles on her face and hold her body against mine. I drag my eyes away from her and turn back towards the forgotten table in front of me. I dip the paintbrush back into the rich brown stain and start

brushing it back and forth along the top of the table. I can feel Mara’s eyes on me, and the heat of her stare is making my skin prickle. “Dominic,” she says softly. I grunt without looking up. I keep my eyes focused on the paint brush. It moves back and forth… Back and forth… Back and forth. I don’t see her move towards me, I feel it. I can almost sense her arm reaching up towards me. I’m like a coiled spring. When she finally touches my arm, an electric current passes through my entire body. She places her fingers on my arm. She’s barely touching me and yet it feels like my whole body is on fire. I stop moving the paint brush and turn my body towards her. She drops her arm and lifts her eyes towards mine. I can see the questions in her stare, but neither of us says anything. Her eyes are a deep blue, and her lips are full and pink. My mouth is watering as I stare at her delicate features. All I want to do is dip my chin down and press my lips against hers. I want to know how she tastes. I want to wrap my arms around her body and feel her against me. I want to run my hand up her spine and feel the heat of her skin against my palm. Instead, we only stare at each other. My chest is inches from hers, and I can see it moving up and down ever so slightly with every breath. Her lips part and I wait for the sweet sound of her

voice. “Work with me,” she breathes. It’s hardly more than a whisper, but it sounds like a shout. Her eyes are searching my face and I can’t tear myself away from her gaze. I can still feel the spot on my arm where her fingers touched me, and it takes all my self-control to stop myself from wrapping my arms around her. Almost as if I’m watching myself do it, I nod once. “Okay,” I hear myself say. Her lips spread in a soft smile and her eyes spark. “Good,” she whispers back. We stay like that, staring at each other – saying a thousand things without saying a word. I could kiss her. All I’d have to do is dip my head down and I’d get to taste those lips. I could give in to my aching body, reach my arms around her and pull her into me. I could, but I don’t. Neither of us moves an inch until she nods her head. “I’ll come back tomorrow with some real drawings,” she says. I watch her walk towards the open door, and before she can leave I call out to her. “Mara!” She turns towards me and raises an eyebrow. “Don’t… Don’t tell anyone. Not yet.” She nods her head down without saying anything and slips outside. It’s not until the last

hint of her disappears out the door that I finally exhale. I put my hand to my forehead and take a deep breath. What have I done? I’ve just agreed to work with Mara McCoy. No, I’ve agreed to work with the McCoy family. I’ve agreed to help them get recognition as official accommodation for the National Park. I’ve agreed to put them on the map. I’ve agreed to do exactly what I’ve spent the last ten years vowing I’d never condone. Last year I was burning down their new hotel, and this year I’m helping them expand their business. My cheeks start to burn. The shame and guilt bubble in my stomach, and I stare around my workshop in despair. I can’t do this! I can’t work with them! But then I picture the way Mara looked when she was running her fingers along the headboard. I touch the spot on my arm where those same fingers touched me, and I picture the way her lips looked when she stood there in front of me. I know that my brothers would disapprove. I know that the town will talk and talk and talk about it. I know that I shouldn’t take the job. I know that nothing good can come of this. But even though I know all these things, I still want to do it.

I want to feel her touch again. I want to see her smile and I want to smell that sweet perfume. I want to watch the way her lips part when she stares at the pieces of furniture I make, and I want to see the spark in her eye when she looks at me. I want to be near her, and right now I’d do anything to make that happen. I’ll even work with the family that preyed on my brothers and I and stole my father’s business. I’ll work with the woman that my brothers despise. My heart is thumping and my cock is heavy between my legs. My head is buzzing but all I can think of is the last thing she said to me today: I’ll come back tomorrow, she said. The corners of my lips curl into a smile and I take a deep breath, pulling myself out of my stupor and looking down at the half-finished table in front of me. I’m going to see her tomorrow, and right now that’s the only thing I care about.

Chapter 12 - Mara

For the second time this week, my whole body is buzzing when I make my way back to my parents’ hotel. I walk quickly without looking back – trying to make sense of the hurricane of thoughts going through my mind. I do my best to ignore the thumping of my heart and the wetness between my legs, but my body feels like it’s on fire. He said yes! I can’t believe it. I never thought he’d agree. He doesn’t want me to tell anyone, which is understandable, but I can still hardly believe he agreed to do it. I can’t even think about the work or the furniture right now. As I walk back through the lush greenery on my way to Main Street, all I can think of is the way he was looking at me. One more second and I would have reached up and crushed my lips against his. I would have fallen into his arms and never let go. I take a deep breath and glance at the sky above me. This is complicated enough without adding sex to the equation. I’m going to have to

find a way to ignore this attraction. I force myself to think about the hotel. I have a thousand and one things to do for tomorrow if I’m going to be ready to give him drawings. Judging on the quality of the headboard he made in less than a day, neither I or my parents will be disappointed. My parents. How am I supposed to tell them about this? They’ve given me carte blanche to do whatever I want with the hotel, but how will they react when they find out it’s Dominic Clarke who’s making the new furniture? He’s one of the people who burned down the new hotel! The McCoy Hotel comes into view at the end of the road and I take a deep breath. I’ll figure it out. Right now, I have a full list to do, starting with finalizing the designs and starting procure materials and labor. I want to have the application in to the National Park by the end of the month, which means mockups and drawings of the renovations need to be done as soon as possible. I spend the rest of the day working, only resting to have a quick bite to eat. I draw up a contract for Dominic, and start making proper sketches for him. I work on the rest of the designs – updating the lobby, the dining room, and the hotel bedrooms. By the time I look up from my desk, the sun

has gone down and the stars are out. I lean back in my chair and stretch my neck from side to side, groaning at the stiffness that has set into my body. I stand up and tiptoe to the back of the hotel, slipping into my bedroom and closing the door behind me. That’ll have to be enough work for today. I sit on the edge of the bed, taking a deep breath and kicking off my shoes. I close my eyes and rub my temples when I hear a knock on the sliding glass door. I frown, looking out into the darkness. I see the unmistakable shape of Dominic’s huge, muscular body silhouetted in the window and my heart skips a beat. Getting off the bed, I adjust my clothes and pat my hair back. I take a deep breath and slide open the door. Dominic steps in, and a wave of freshness and pine and sawdust fills my nose. That familiar heat starts growing between my legs and I do my best to ignore it. His eyes sweep around my room at the messy desk and my childhood bed, and then they finally they rest on my face. “Dominic,” I say, closing the door behind him. “What are you doing here?” “This is a bad idea,” he growls. I search his eyes and see a deep pain inside them. I take a deep breath and try to think of something to say. My fingers drift to his arm and I place them gently on

his wrist. “Dominic…” I breathe. He flinches at my touch and then relaxes, standing completely still in front of me. He seems so out of place in this room. He looks like he should be outside, or in his little cabin on the outskirts of town. It feels like even in a tiny town like Lang Creek, there are too many lights and too many people for him. He’s not made to be around other people. He stares into my eyes and shakes his head from side to side. “My brother would kill me,” he finally says. I can hear the pain in his voice and my heart squeezes. I nod my head slowly. “I understand,” I say. I lift my eyes up to his and take a step towards him. My heart is hammering against my ribcage and my mouth is suddenly dry. “Dominic,” I say again. “I’m so sorry. About your dad. About my parents. About everything… I….” My voice trails off and my eyes start to prickle. I wish I could make him understand that I’m not the person I was before. I wish I could make him understand that I’m not the person my parents want me to be. A deep growl rumbles through his chest and Dominic stares deeply into my eyes. “Stop apologizing,” he says. His voice is gravelly and deep, and it sends a thrill through my whole body. “It was an accident. I forgave you for that a long time ago.”

“You did?” My voice is nothing more than a squeak. Dominic takes a step towards me, and my hand slides further up his arm. The tips of his fingers touch my waist and my whole body feels like it’s about to burst. The desire is overwhelming me. My centre is pulsing and the wetness is seeping into my panties as I stare into Dominic’s dark eyes. The heat of his body is intoxicating. I lift my other hand and place it on his chest. His heartbeat pulses against my palm. I can’t tell where my heartbeat ends and his begins. We stand there, our fingers barely brushing against each other’s bodies, staring into each others eyes. There’s ten years of pain… Ten years of anger… Ten years of things unsaid between us. “I shouldn’t be here,” he says. His voice is so low that I feel it more than I hear it. I slide my hand up his arm and brush my fingers along his neck. His chest rumbles and he wraps his arms around my waist, sliding his hand under my shirt so that I can feel the heat of his palm on the small of my back. I’m melting into him, and I can’t do anything about it. “I shouldn’t be here,” he says again. “I’m glad you are,” I whisper back. In an instant, his lips crush against mine and his hands are pulling me into him. He slides his hand further up my back so that I can feel the warmth of his skin

against me. My whole body is pulsing with desire as he presses his body against mine and kisses me like I’ve never been kissed before. This is so wrong. It’s so wrong and my head is spinning, but somehow I can’t stop. I don’t want to stop. I slide my hands over his shoulders and tangle them into his hair, pulling Dominic in for a deeper kiss. Our families have been at war for a decade. His brothers hate me. My parents used me. I don’t know why I’m here, or where I’m going. All I know is that right now, Dominic Clarke’s kiss tastes better than anything I’ve ever tasted before. His body feels like it’s made for me, and his hands feel like they know my body better than I know it myself. My head is spinning, and my heart is hammering, and right now I don’t care about anything except Dominic’s kiss and the pulsing heat between my legs.

Chapter 13 - Dominic

I’m not sure why I came here. It wasn’t for this. It was never for this. I wanted to tell her I’d changed my mind… That I wouldn’t do it. But now I’m here and her body is pressed against mine – and all I can think about is how badly I want her. My cock is harder than it’s ever been, and when she grinds her hips against me all I want to do is plunge it deep inside her. I know I shouldn’t be doing this. Even if we don’t work together, I shouldn’t be doing this. Even if she leaves town tomorrow and never comes back, I still shouldn’t be doing this. There’s too much history and too much baggage between our families. But when she runs her fingers along the nape of my neck and presses her chest against mine, all those thoughts disappear from my head. Maybe I shouldn’t be here – but it feels way too good to stop. I drop my hands down towards her ass and pull her into me. She grinds her hips towards me again, and the heat of my erection is burning

against me. She moans into me and my cock throbs. Finally, our lips separate and she’s panting. I keep one hand on her ass and bring my other hand between us. I slide it up between her thighs until I can feel the heat of her desire through her pants. I groan, keeping my palm against her center as she whimpers. Her arms are wrapped around my neck and she pulls her face away from mine. Mara stares at me as I move my palm slowly back and forth between her legs. She lets out a soft moan and my cock throbs at the sound. She closes her eyes and parts her lips, and I dip my head down once again to taste her kiss. She’s trembling. Her body feels like it’s going to fall over at any moment, so I wrap my arms around her. I lift her up, and she wraps her legs around my waist. I shuffle over to the bed and lay Mara down, letting the weight of my body press down on top of her. She runs her fingers through my hair, wrapping it into her fist and pulling gently as I groan. “You’re the sexiest woman I’ve ever seen,” I growl. I press myself into her as she grinds her hips against me, letting out a soft moan. Mara parts her lips and kisses my neck, biting it gently as I peel her clothes away from her collarbone. I want to know every part of her. I

want to kiss every inch of skin that I come across. I want to remember every detail of her body. She reaches down and grabs the hem of her shirt, lifting it up over head. Then follows a flurry of undressing. I’m pulling off my clothes, she’s pulling off hers until we’re both down to our underwear. She wraps her arms around me again and I crush my lips against hers, grinding my cock against her center. The feeling of her skin against mine is exhilarating. It makes me feel like I’m drunk. She runs her fingers down my back and across my shoulders as I trail kisses down her neck and between her breasts. I run my hands over her stomach and feel my way over her entire body. My fingers leave trails of sparks everywhere they touch, and my heart is beating so fast I feel like I’m going to collapse. She runs her hand down my stomach towards my hard cock, but I pull away. I glance up at her face to see her eyebrows shooting upwards. I grin and shake my head. “Not yet,” I growl. “You first.” My kisses take me all the way down the soft skin of her stomach to the fabric of her panties. I love the way she shifts her hips towards me and exhales when my mouth gets nearer to her center. I let the heat of my breath wash over her skin as I move towards her inner thigh, laying soft kisses on

her skin as she parts her legs for me. I run my fingers over her panties, feeling the heat of her desire through the thin fabric. She shifts her hips towards me again and I look up at her – grinning as she bites her lip. “Dominic,” she breathes. I slide my finger under her panties and feel her sweet honey gathering in her folds. My cock throbs between my legs, but I let my fingers move ever so gently back and forth. She makes that irresistible whimpering sound once again, and I kiss the inside of her thigh. I’ve never wanted anyone this badly. My whole body is on fire, and all I want to do is rip the last shreds of clothes off her and take her right now. I’d plunge my cock into her and fill her with my seed in an instant. And yet, when I look up at her face and see the pleasure washing over it, all I can do is keep moving my hand back and forth. I push the fabric out of the way and dip my head down towards her slit. I kiss her gently, letting my tongue slide out to taste her desire. She moans as I taste her again, a little bit deeper this time. I find her bud and kiss the little bundle of nerves until her whole body quivers. Her fingers are wrapped in my hair as I gently slide my tongue around her sensitive bud. She’s whimpering and trembling as I explore

her body for the first time. I hook my fingers into her panties and slide them down her legs, dragging my eyes back up towards her glistening center. My head dives back down and she fists her hand into my hair, arching her back and grinding her hips up towards my face. This is more erotic than I could ever describe. She tastes better than anything I’ve tasted before, and I can almost feel her pleasure in my own body. I kiss and lick and taste and devour, until she’s trembling underneath me, grinding her hips up towards my face and pressing my head down towards her. When I slip my fingers inside her, Mara’s whole body contracts. I give myself to her completely, moaning with her as her walls squeeze my fingers and her back arches. She gasps and moans, fisting her hand in my hair and pressing her hips up towards me. My lips are covered in her wetness, and I don’t stop eating her until she relaxes. I lay one more soft kiss at the top of her slit and finally look up at her beautiful face. Mara’s eyes are closed, and her hand is thrown across her face. Her chest is heaving up and down, and I kiss her hip once more before lifting myself up towards her. She opens her eyes and looks at me, shaking her head from side to side. “Dominic,” she breathes. “That was…”.

She shakes her head again. The corners of my lips curl upwards and I start to chuckle. “That was fucking hot,” I finish for her. She grins and nods her head. Her fingers find the sides of my face, and she pulls me towards her to share another kiss.

Chapter 14 - Mara

My body feels like it’s on fire. Vincent never touched me the way Dominic just did. No one ever has, really. The way he runs his hands over me feels like he’s known me for years. Even now, as I tremble and recover from the intensity of my orgasm, he trails his fingers over and back across my chest. His touch sends shivers through my torso. My heart is pounding, and I take a deep breath to try to slow it down. I turn my head and see him staring at me. I can’t help but grin as a blush spreads across my cheeks. “Dominic,” I breathe. He leans down and presses his lips against mine, hooking his hand around my waist. I wrap my arms around his neck and moan into his lips as we kiss – our arms and legs intertwined on my bed. His lips are soft and he kisses me slowly, groaning as he tastes my mouth. Dominic shifts his weight and presses himself down on top of me so his erection is pressing against my stomach. I tilt my hips to feel it

and he groans in satisfaction. He runs his fingers down my side and cups my ass, guiding my legs until they’re wrapped around him. We’re closer than I could have imagined. It feels like every part of me is touching him – like he’s wrapped around me and I’m wrapped around him, both so tight that I never want to let go. I kiss his neck. He groans in response, sending a thrill straight through my core. The heat of my desire is blossoming once again as he slides his shaft through my wetness. The feeling of his cock against me is driving me wild. I press my hips up towards him to feel it against me, and it sends an aching need through my core. I want to feel it inside me. I want to feel him inside me. I want him to take me right now. It doesn’t matter who he is, or who I am, or who our families are. All that matters is his body, and my body, and our pleasure. All that matters is the way his hand is tangling into my hair, and the way my fingers are sinking into his shoulders. All that matters are the groans he’s making every time I touch him. I’m more alive than I’ve ever been before. I’m flying. I reach over to my bedside table and grab a condom. Dominic looks from the condom to me and his eyes spark. His chest rumbles as he takes the crinkling package from me. “You sure?”

“Never wanted anything more,” I breathe. I watch as he kneels in front of me on the bed and rolls the condom onto his hard cock. It glides on smoothly, and once it’s on he grabs his cock and drags his eyes up to mine. My whole body is on fire. I bite my lip and look at Dominic, letting my eyes wander from his dark eyes down to his muscular shoulders. His chest and abs are almost gleaming in the moonlight from the window. I reach up and run my finger down the center of his torso until I hit the base of his shaft. I wrap my hand around his thickness and savor the fire that floods my veins. Dominic groans and tilts his head back as I grip his member, pushing his hips down towards me as I open myself up to him. My legs fall apart and I tilt my hips up to accept him. When the tip of his cock presses against my opening, my whole body relaxes and a moan escapes my lips. I can’t describe the feeling of Dominic’s cock. It’s better than I can put into words. My body stretches to accept him and grips his girth as he pushes into me. It’s like he fits inside me so perfectly that nothing else can compare. A gasp escapes my lips as he pushes himself deeper and deeper inside me. Inch by inch, he enters me. My walls contract around his girth and I moan once more. When he starts to pump his shaft in and out

of me, I’m already there. The orgasm is building in the pit of my stomach, and I know that in a few instants I’ll be flying off the edge. With every thrust of his cock, the pressure in my core builds and builds until my body is no longer under my control. With one more thrust, Dominic grunts and it reverberates through my chest. The pressure finally releases and the pleasure floods my veins. My back arches as the pleasure courses through my body – over, and over, and over, in wave after wave of bliss. I don’t know if I’m screaming or if I’m silent. I don’t know if I’m grabbing on to Dominic’s shoulders, his neck, or the bedsheets. I don’t know what’s happening. All I know is that the intensity of my orgasm is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. My whole body contracts around him until he grows harder and starts to tremble with me. The sweetness of our release is indescribable. He’s panting into my ear as I grip onto him. I run my fingers along Dominic’s skin, through the thin sheen of sweat that our lovemaking has produced. When he collapses on top of me, I'm as spent as he is. For a few blissful moments, the only sounds in the room are our heartbeats and our long, ragged breaths. Finally, I’m able to think again. It’s like a fog lifts from my eyes and I see Dominic again for

the first time. This time, he doesn’t seem like the rugged mountain man that lives on the edge of town. He doesn’t seem like a renegade – like the man who has opposed my family for a decade. He seems calm, and loving, and gentle. He seems so real. I run my finger down his cheek and I scratch the stubble on his jaw, and he groans in satisfaction. His eyelids flutter open and he studies my face for a few moments. “You’re beautiful, Mara McCoy.” “So are you, Dominic Clarke,” I answer with a grin. A smile spreads across his face and he closes his eyes again. He tilts his chin towards me as I run my fingers over and back along his jaw. I watch him for a minute, or an hour, or an eternity – until sleep takes us both.

Chapter 15 - Dominic

I wake up to the grey light of dawn streaming through the open blinds. I don’t recognize anything around me. My heartbeat immediately starts to race as I look around the room through my bleary eyes. Finally, I see Mara sleeping beside me and the memories of last night flood my mind. “Shit,” I say under my breath. I crane my ears to try to hear any noise in the hotel. Everything is dead quiet. Mara stirs beside me and her eyes flutter open. “Hey,” she mutters, seeing me awake. “You okay?” “I’m fine,” I answer, running a finger along her cheek. “I should go.” “So soon?” She asks, opening her eyes a bit wider. She lifts her head to look at me and then at the window. “Stay.” I smile. “I wish I could. You know what kind of drama that would cause.” Mara snorts and closes her eyes again. “Five minutes,” she says as she throws her arm

over me. “Fine,” I whisper, happy to let myself be convinced. She rests her head on my shoulder and nuzzles into me. I run my fingers through her soft brown hair and kiss the top of her forehead. She murmurs in response. I lay back and stare at the ceiling of Mara’s bedroom. How did I get here? This wasn’t what I was expecting when I came here last night. I was going to tell her that the deal was off. I was going to tell her that no matter what she offered me, I couldn’t do business with her. I was going to ask her to not come back to the workshop. And now? Now I’m in her bed. I had the most amazing sex of my life. Calling it just ‘sex’ feels wrong – it was so much more than that. It was like we’d known each other our whole lives. I mean, we have known each other our whole lives. But it was like we’ve known each other our whole lives. Like I’d spent the last three decades getting to know her body as well as I did my own. She sighs, draping her arm across my chest and moving her fingers ever so slightly back and forth along my collarbone. I catch her fingers in my hand and press my lips to them. I don’t know how this happened, and I don’t know what it means, or where it will go. What I do

know is that right now, with Mara in my arms, I feel good. I feel good for the first time in years. I feel like I belong here – or like she belongs with me. A noise makes me turn my head towards the door. It sounds like someone in the restaurant kitchen. I take a deep breath and lift Mara’s arm off me. She opens her eyes again and groans. “Fine,” she sighs. “I’d stay if I could,” I say, kissing her lips. I slip out of bed and pull my clothes on as the chill in the air hits my skin. Mara lifts her head onto her palm and watches me as I get dressed. She smiles, and shakes her head. “I’m not sure what just happened, but I can’t say I’m upset about it.” A smile breaks across my face and a chuckle starts to bubble up inside me. “I feel the same way.” I hop on one foot to get my shoe on, and my bum hits her desk. Pens and pencils start rolling off onto the ground. “Shit,” I say under my breath, trying to catch them. I catch two before they fall, but most of them fall onto the ground. Mara laughs. “Sorry,” she says. “I should really get a pencil holder.” “Why do you need so many?” I ask with a grin as I lean over to pick them up. “There’s got to be two dozen pens and pencils here.”

“I like to have options,” she says. I glance over at her and see her laughing. I chuckle as I hold up two fistfuls of pencils, shaking my head and putting them back on the desk. She shrugs. “Just a little quirk you’re going to have to put up with,” she says. I lean down and place another kiss on her lips. “I can deal with a few pencils if it means I get to spend another night like that,” I say. Her eyes shine and her cheeks blush. I kiss her again. “I’ll text you later.” “Okay,” she answers with a soft smile. With one more look at the beautiful woman before me, I turn to the back door and slip outside. The air is brisk, and I bury my chin in my chest as I make my way towards the nearby trees. I’ll circle back towards my cabin through the woods, where there’s less chance I’ll be seen. The last thing I want to do is start rumors – especially if I’ll be taking this contract with the McCoys. I may be conflicted about all this, but I do know one thing: I know exactly what my brothers and the townspeople will think if they find out Mara and I slept together. By the time I’m in the trees, my shoulders start to relax and I take a deep breath. A hint of a smile plays on my lips and I inhale the fresh morning air. I wasn’t expecting this. There’s a tendril of

guilt inside me – the McCoys are basically our sworn enemies, after all. Aiden dated Mara when they were teenagers. She was the reason Dad got pneumonia and died. Her parents tricked us into signing over the family trucking business. I burned down their new hotel. There are so many things telling me to leave Mara alone – to run as far away as possible and to keep my quiet life on the edge of town. There are so many things telling me this is a bad idea. How will my brothers react? How will the town react? How will Mara’s parents react? But then I think about Mara’s smile when she woke up, and the way her dark hair looked against the white pillows. I think of her face when I made her come for the first time, and the way her fingers dug into my back last night. I think of how good it felt to wake up next to her, and the guilt starts to go away. Our families have been at odds for a long time, but that doesn’t mean it needs to stay that way. Maybe this contract is an opportunity to mend things – and even though Aiden dated Mara when they were teenagers, it doesn’t mean she’s off limits. He’s married now! He wouldn’t mind me being with her now, over a decade later. As soon as the thought crosses my mind, I know it’s not true. Aiden took our father’s death the hardest. He always blamed Mara for the

accident, and still hasn’t forgiven her. I don’t think so, anyway. Any time her name is mentioned, a cloud passes over his face. Does that mean I shouldn’t get involved with her? I take another deep breath and wind my way along the path through the trees until I start to recognize the forest around my cabin. Even though summer is coming, the early morning is still quite chilly. The tips of the tree branches are covered in frost, and I take another deep breath as the thoughts swirl around in my head. I don’t know what I should do. I don’t know how Aiden or Ethan would react to all this. All I know is that by the end of today, I’ll be out of work. Mara is offering me the biggest contract of my life to redo the McCoy hotel furniture. I have to separate that from last night. Even if I can’t get involved with her, I still need to consider this job. Something stirs in my chest, and I know that I won’t be able to separate the two so easily. I know that next time I see her, I won’t be able to resist putting my hand around her waist. I know that her lips will call out to be kissed, and my body will be drawn to hers like a magnet. I know all these things, but I tell myself I just need the work. That I’m just taking this job because I need the money. The fact that Mara and

I slept together last night is irrelevant. … right?

Chapter 16 - Mara

I can’t keep the smile off my face today. I get up and hum to myself as I get ready. I sing in the shower and I smile as I get dressed. When I'm ready, I grab my drawings and make my way out to the dining room where I know I’ll find my parents. Sure enough, they’re sitting at their usual table having their morning coffee. “Good morning!” I call out. My mother looks up from the newspaper and furrows her brows. “What’s gotten into you?” “What do you mean?” “You’re in a good mood,” she says, leaning back in her chair and raising an eyebrow. I laugh. “Is that not allowed?” My father scoffs and motions to the chair beside him. “Have a seat, Mara. Coffee?” He motions to the pot of coffee in the middle of the table. I nod in thanks and pour myself a mug. He lets me sit down before speaking again. “We were just talking about the renovations. We’d like to see some drawings soon. Will you be applying to the

Parks this week?” I slide into the chair and put the folder of sketches on the table. “That’s what I’ve come up with so far. The concept is to maintain the hotel’s natural heritage while highlighting some of the mountains around. The color scheme is based on the landscape,” I explain as my father thumbs through the drawings. He passes some papers over to my mother who inspects them with a critical eye. She makes a noise and purses her lips. “Are you sure about this, Tim? So much construction – and right before our busiest time of the year!” My father looks through the drawings one more time and glances at me. “You think you can get us recognized by the Parks?” I gulp. Not only would this be the biggest job I’ve ever designed, but it’s for my parents. There won’t be the regular client-designer relationship. My heart thumps when I think of last night and all the trouble I could get myself into. I nod my head. “We can. With these updates, we’ll be in the boutique hotel category, and we’ll have enough heritage elements to get certified. There’s no reason not to go for it.” My father nods and shifts his eyes back to the papers. “All this furniture – is this custom made?”

The question seems innocent, but I’ve been preparing for it for the last two days. I swallow and nod, trying to keep my voice steady. “Custom made and designed. We have to have a certain percentage of work done by local people.” I pause. “What about Dominic Clarke? He’s talented –” “Absolutely not,” my mother says, dropping the papers and leaning back. She shakes her head from left to right and lifts her hands up. “No. You want to hire that brute to work on our hotel? The one who ruined our chances of expanding the business? No.” My father looks at my mother over his glasses and then glances back at the drawings. When he says nothing, I take a deep breath. “Having the furniture maker in town would be –” “No.” The finality in my mother’s voice makes me stop. I nod once and take a sip of coffee. My heart is hammering in my chest and I try to keep my cheeks from burning. I knew it would be a battle to get them to hire Dominic, but it sounds like it’s not even an option. I take another sip of coffee and watch the dark liquid swirl in the cup. I can feel my parent’s eyes on me, and I try to keep my face steady. Dominic was right. This whole thing is a bad idea. I should have listened to

him – he lives here! I’ve been away from Lang Creek for ages. I’ve forgotten how things work around here. I should have listened when he told me it would never work. Now I have to either hide it from my parents or convince them to hire their sworn enemy. I glance up at the two of them to see them staring at me. I force a casual smile and nod my head. “I’ll do some research and find another local furniture maker,” I say. My mother nods and purses her lips as she picks up her coffee mug. “We won’t have that savage anywhere near our business.” She pauses, glancing at my father with a raised eyebrow. “Will we, Tim?” My father makes a noise in agreement, but keeps his eyes trained on me. He frowns slightly and stares at me for a few moments before turning back to the newspaper in front of him. My heart is hammering in my chest. He knows something’s up. He can tell something is going on, but he just won’t say it. I throw back my coffee and get up, nodding to my parents and grabbing the papers before shuffling out of the dining room. By the time I’m in the office, my head is spinning. I want to hire Dominic. Not only is he in town, he’s the most talented woodworker I’ve ever seen. And last night…

I need to see him again. I need to spend time with him. I’ve never felt as good as I did waking up next to him this morning. My parents will come around. They’ll understand eventually. They’ll see that this feud between our two families is ridiculous, and it’s all our fault. If I hadn’t fallen in the river and if they hadn’t bought out the Clarke Transportation business, then none of this would have happened. Dominic, Aiden, Ethan – they’ve done nothing wrong. They reacted exactly how a normal person would react if their father died and they were betrayed by the only other adults in their life. I can’t fault them for that. They were used exactly how I was used with Vincent. I don’t know why I’m working for my parents now, or why I still want their approval. I don’t know why I’m here, or what I’ll do once these renovations are over. I’m lost. The only thing that feels right is being with Dominic. The only thing that feels like it makes sense is spending time with him. What if we could fix this? What if we could end this feud, and bring our two families back together? What if I could make a better name for my family, and show that I have integrity and that I have a heart? I make it to my room and flop back down on the bed. I can still smell Dominic in my sheets, and

I take a deep breath. I exhale as I close my eyes, imagining his hands all over my body. I’m not ready to let that go. I’m not ready to give up yet another part of my life just because my parents said so. It’s time for me to live life for myself.

Chapter 17 - Dominic

When I deliver the finished table and chairs, it feels like there’s a sense of finality to it. They turned out well, and I’m proud of the work I’ve done. I drive back to the workshop and clean everything up. I put all my tools away and sweep the sawdust off the floor. I wipe the workbench down and stack the scraps of wood in the back of the shop. Once everything is clean, I stand near the door and sweep my eyes around the room. It’s spotless, which is not the way I like my workshop to look. Usually I have a half a dozen projects going on, in various stages of completion. The headboard I made the other day is leaning against the far wall, calling out to me like a beacon. Nothing else has come up, and right now it seems like my best and only option. I run my fingers through my hair and make the long walk to the other side of the workshop towards the headboard. I run my fingers along the top of it, exactly how Ethan did. Exactly how Mara did. I look at

the piece that I threw together and the corners of my lips start to lift up. I want to take this job. As much as I’ve been telling myself I shouldn’t, or I don’t want to, or that no one would approve, I know that I want to take the job. I want to spend the next few weeks working furiously and then have something at the end of it that I’m proud of. I want to collaborate with Mara and spend more time with her. I want to see her every day, to hear her laugh, and see that spark in her eye. I want to do this. I almost jump when I hear her voice behind me. I turn to see her in the doorway, grinning at me. “Admiring your work?” She asks. I chuckle. “Something like that.” “I don’t blame you.” She’s wearing a flowing dress that falls just above her knees. It fits her perfectly, and I can’t help but stare as she walks towards me and puts her hands on my chest. I dip my chin down and press my lips against hers. Her hands slide up around my neck and we embrace as our bodies melt together. She pulls away and smiles at me. “So, I have some bad news,” she starts. My eyebrows jump up. “You don’t seem too upset.” “Well, I’m not. The bad news is my parents

don’t want to hire you.” “Okay,” I respond. I wait for her to continue. “The good news is, I don’t care.” I laugh and wrap my arms around her waist. She interlaces her fingers behind my neck and lifts her eyes up to mine. I can see a spark of mischief in her eyes that I recognize from when we were kids. “That’s very brave of you,” I say. She tilts her head to the side and grins. “I’m a brave person.” “I know you are,” I growl. “You’re here with me, all alone.” She grins as I dip my head down towards her and kiss her again, this time a little bit harder. I never knew it could taste so good to kiss a woman. I never knew that having someone in my arms could feel so right. I never knew what I was missing until she walked in to my workshop and offered me the world. She presses herself against me and pulls my neck down towards her. I run my hands down her sides and around her body. I love the way she fits into me. She makes a little moan and my whole body trembles. I drag my hands down to her ass and grip it, pulling her closer to me. My cock is hard again, and I know she can feel it pressed up against her. I lift her up and sit her down on the

workbench. She yelps and giggles, keeping her arms wrapped around my neck. “I want you,” I say. My voice is gravelly, and when I speak I see a spark in her eye. She grins. “So take me.” She reaches for her purse and I see her take out the unmistakable silver package of a condom. My heart starts pounding and I take it from her. In an instant, my pants are around my ankles and the condom is on. She wraps her legs around me and I reach up her skirt. My eyebrows shoot up and she laughs. “No panties?” I breathe. All she does is bite her lip in response. I can’t take it anymore. I’m like an animal. My cock plunges deep inside her in one smooth motion and we both moan at the same time. Her walls stretch for me and I exhale as I enter her. I push myself deep inside her until we’re completely connected. Her fingers dig into my shoulders and she throws her head back in ecstasy. I stare at the curve of her neck as I drive my cock deeper and deeper inside her. Anyone could walk in. Anyone could hear us through the wide-open door. She’s sitting on the workbench in plain view, with her legs wrapped around me and her dress pushed up around her waist. Anyone could catch me, Dominic Clarke,

with Mara McCoy in the throes of passion – but I don’t fucking care. No part of me cares right now. All that matters right now is Mara’s pleasure and the heat building in the pit of my stomach. When she comes, it’s too much for me. My orgasm explodes and I savor the feeling of her fingernails digging into my back. Pleasure floods my veins and I groan, letting myself go completely. She grabs onto me, resting her head on my shoulder as her legs are locked around my waist. It takes a couple minutes for the breath to come back to my body. She lowers her legs and we separate as I discard the condom. When I pull my pants back up, she’s adjusting her dress. She flicks her eyes towards me and grins. “Good morning,” she says with a laugh. “That was nice.” “It was better than nice,” I respond. I tangle my fingers into her hair and bring my face to hers. I kiss her once more as she wraps her arms around my neck and presses her body against me. I can’t get enough of this woman. She’s incredible and sexy and smart and funny… all I want to do is spend my days with her. A little voice at the back of my mind is screaming that it’s a bad idea, but I can’t help myself. When she pulls away from me, she runs her finger along my jaw and scratches my beard. I close my eyes and groan. Her touch feels so, so

good. Her body feels like it was made for me. Her kiss tastes incredible. I ignore that little voice and wrap my arms around Mara, bringing my lips to hers once more.

Chapter 18 - Mara

“You want to have some dinner?” he asks, nodding to the door. My eyebrows shoot up and a smile floats onto my lips. “Are you asking me on a date?” Dominic grins. “Is that allowed?” “Treading on dangerous territory there,” I respond with a laugh. “What would my parents say?” “Whatever they want,” he responds as he wraps his arm around my waist. “I’ll make you some food.” “Can you cook?” “I can try,” he responds with a laugh. He leans down to kiss me before pulling away. He gestures out of the workshop towards the cabin, and I follow his lead. Dominic puts his arm around me, resting his hand on the small of my back and a thrill passes through my spine. I can’t stop smiling. When we get to the cabin, he starts a fire in the wood-burning stove as I look around. The cabin is small, but it’s impeccably clean. I wander over to a shelf and see a row of photos. I frown,

pointing to one of them and laughing. “I remember that day!” Dominic glances up from the fire, closing the door to the stove. He walks over to me and I smell the faint smell of smoke on his clothes. He leans over to look at the picture and grins. “The fair was in town. You started crying on the when a clown came up to you,” he says, glancing at me and chuckling. My cheeks start to burn as I remember that day. I couldn’t have been older than seven or eight. I’d been so excited to go to the fair, but when I got there I was overwhelmed by the lights, and colors, and people, and I’d started crying. “You won me a teddy bear,” I say softly. The memories of that day start flooding in and I smile. Dominic puts his arm around me. “I just wanted you to stop your wailing,” he laughs. I laugh in mock outrage and smack his arm. He looks at me with soft eyes and nuzzles his nose against mine. “It’s nice to see you again, Mara.” “I missed you. You and your brothers, I mean. After the accident.” Dominic keeps staring at the photo but his body stiffens beside me. I shake my head. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” “No,” he says. His voice is soft. “It’s okay. I missed you too. It was like all of a sudden we lost our Dad and you and your family.”

“I’m sorry,” I say. My eyes start to mist up and I look down at the ground. Dominic turns to me and tilts my chin up. His eyes are bright. For a few moments, he says nothing. The only noise is the popping of the logs in the fire. Finally, he shakes his head. “Stop apologizing,” he breathes. “You did nothing wrong.” “If I hadn’t been playing on the edge of the river…” Dominic shakes his head. “Stop,” he whispers. “I told you, you did nothing wrong.” My eyes start to tear up and he wraps his arms around me. I melt into him and he rubs my hair and kisses the top of my head. Finally, he pulls away and looks at me again. “I blamed you for Dad’s death for a long time. I thought you betrayed us. But Mara,” he pauses, wiping a tear from my cheek. “I feel so lucky that you’ve come back. I’ve just started spending time with you, but I already know that you’re an amazing woman. The biggest mistake my brother ever made was letting you go.” The tears are streaming down my face and I make an awful sobbing, snorting sound. Dominic chuckles and wraps his arms around me again. He makes soft noises and holds me until my sobs slow down. Finally, he pulls away and looks at me with a glimmer in his eye.

“It’s worse than the carnival day in here,” he says. I snort-laugh again and look at him through teary lashes. “Got any more teddy bears for me?” I ask. Dominic chuckles and slides his fingers into mine. He leads me to the couch and I rest my head on his shoulder. We watch the fire blazing in the stove for a few moments until I speak again. “My parents used me too, you know. My engagement to Vincent – it was all part of a business deal. When the new hotel burned down last year, it all went to shit. Like an idiot I didn’t even realize what was going on. I can’t imagine what it must have felt like for you and your brothers. You were all so young…” Dominic grunts. “Sorry about the hotel thing. That’s probably partly my fault.” I laugh. “Is that an admission of guilt?” Dominic turns his head towards me and I see the smile playing in his eyes. “Didn’t realize you were a lawyer as well as an interior designer.” “I’m a woman of many talents,” I respond. His eyes spark and a shiver passes down my spine. I’ve learned to love his eyes. In the light of day, they look pale – almost hazel. When it gets darker out, or when he’s thinking, they get so dark they look like inky pools. Right now, his eyes are bright and they’re crinkling at the corners. “If burning that hotel down brought you

back here, then I’m not actually sorry at all,” he growls. My heart leaps in my chest and before I can answer he catches my lips between his. He runs his fingers through my hair and pulls me close. I wrap myself around him and press my body against his, loving how strong and solid he feels when he holds me. We make love. Our bodies fuse together, and for the second time today I’m carried out of my body and into a tidal wave of pleasure. When he touches me, it feels like my skin is sparking and crackling. When he kisses me, it feels like my body is set on fire. When he enters me, I am complete. For the first time in years, I’m completely at peace. Dominic Clarke doesn’t hate me. He doesn’t blame me for his father’s death. He accepts me for who I am and understands me in a way that no man ever has. I’m more comfortable and at home with him than I have been anywhere else. His arms were made for me. His body moulds and curves perfectly to fit against mine. The evening goes by like a dream, with laughter and food and sex, and finally ends with a deep, blissful sleep. In that little cabin on the edge of town, on a weekday evening like any other, I feel like I’ve finally found peace and contentment.

Chapter 19 - Dominic

Mara is different than I remember, but she’s also the same. When we were kids, she used to be fearless but clumsy at the same time. Now, she’s still got that fire deep inside her, but it’s more tempered. She’s not as impulsive as she was when we were little. She’s graceful. She moves with purpose, and her intelligent eyes seem to take in more of the world than I knew existed. She’s snoring gently beside me, and I watch her chest rise and fall as she sleeps. I brush a strand of hair away from her face and watch her for a few moments. I’d never considered that her parents might have used her just like they used us. They were probably using her when they encouraged her to date Aiden. They’ve never wanted her to be happy – they just wanted my father’s business. When he got sick, they didn’t need her to marry Aiden anymore. They could acquire my father’s business directly without waiting for the three of us to inherit it. They could get all of it instead of only a third. All they had to do was

pretend they were buying it from us to help us with hospital bills. I blamed Mara for a long time, and then I blamed Dad for not going to the hospital sooner. I blamed Mara’s parents for betraying us, and then I blamed myself. I was the eldest, after all. I should have known not to sell them the business. Mara snorts in her sleep and shifts, making a small noise and going still again. I smile, pressing my lips to her forehead. In all the years that I blamed the McCoys for our hardships, I’ve never considered that Mara could have suffered as much as us. At least my brothers and I had each other. Mara was on her own, with parents who didn’t care about her and half the town thinking she was to blame for my father’s death. I wrap my arms around Mara and hold her close. My heart seems to grow in my chest as she sleeps against me, and all I want to do is keep her warm and safe. I fall asleep like that, with my arms holding her close. Our breath mixes together as we drift to sleep in my small bed. She stirs beside me and I wake up, opening my eyes to see her smiling at me. “Morning,” she says. Her voice comes out as a croak, and she laughs before clearing her throat. “Morning,” she says again.

“Morning, beautiful.” Her cheeks flush a little and I smile. In this light, I can see the smattering of freckles across her nose. Her eyes are clear and bright. “I don’t know about you, but I’m starving,” she says. “Is that so?” I ask, not ready to get out of bed. I drape my arm across her body and she giggles as I pull her close. My cock is aching for her, and she gives me a little grin as she presses her body against mine. “Maybe I can wait,” she says. I crush my lips against hers and groan as she wraps her arms around me. If I could stay in bed forever with her, I’d be happy. Waking up next to her in my bed is the sweetest pleasure I could ask for. When I watch her head lean back and her lips part – when her back arches and her body contracts around mine – I feel like the luckiest man alive. She’s ignited something inside me. It’s not just the sex, or the orgasms. It’s something more. Once the pleasure of my orgasm fades, I rest my head on the pillow and watch the smile play across her lips. My heart jumps as we lay in bed together. When she’s in the shower, I put on some eggs and bacon for breakfast. She comes into the tiny kitchen with a towel wrapped around her, inhaling and smiling. I hand her a cup of coffee and she takes a long drink.

“This is the perfect morning,” she says. She looks at the window and then back at me. “Listen!” I listen to the birds singing right outside the window and I watch her look outside. She points at a nearby tree and looks at me with a huge smile on her face. “A nest! There must be babies hatching!” I nod, flipping the bacon. “They’re sparrows,” I say. “I’ve been watching them the past couple of days. They hatched two days ago, and the mom has been busy feeding them ever since.” Mara stares out the window and I smile as I watch her face. You’d think she’d never seen a bird’s nest before. “Even being just a little bit further out, you get so much more wildlife here,” she says. “It’s way too busy near the hotel. It’s nice here.” I nod, dishing up a couple plates of breakfast. Mara tears herself away from the window and smiles. “This looks amazing,” she breathes. “Between last night and this morning, you’ve pretty much gotten my full repertoire of cooking,” I laugh. “Well I’m impressed,” she answers. She leans over to me and plants a kiss on my lips. “It smells so good.” We spend the next hour or so just enjoying

each other’s company. I used to think my cabin would never be big enough for two people, but Mara seems completely at home here. I put my arm around her and kiss her temple as we sit on the couch. She turns to me and kisses my lips before smiling sadly. “I’d better go,” she says. “Any later and people will start wondering where I am.” “I can drive you back,” I offer. “That’s okay, I’ll walk the back way. It’s such a beautiful day.” I nod and kiss her one more time. When she leaves, I watch her walk through the trees in the direction of town, and my heart feels light. I finish the rest of my coffee and put the mug in the sink before heading out to the workshop. I’ve got sketches for a few items that Mara wants to prototype. Based on the contract she showed me yesterday, I’m going to be incredibly busy for the next couple of months. I get to work with a smile on my face and a lightness in my heart that I’m not used to. As unlikely as it is, Mara McCoy has brought the joy back to my life.

Chapter 20 - Mara

The days go by in a flurry of activity. Renovations begin on the hotel, and I do my best to orchestrate them. I steal any moment I can with Dominic, and the two of us collaborate on the design of the furniture for the hotel. “Where did you find someone on such short notice?” My mother exclaims as I show her the prototypes for the night stands. “Furniture makers are usually so busy!” I shrug, trying to keep my face steady. “I’m just resourceful, I guess.” “You sure are,” she breathes. She inspects the nightstands and nods in approval. “These are perfect. Who made them?” “A small woodworker from Wolf Mountain,” I lie. My heart squeezes. I hate lying, even if I know it’s for the best. My father looks up from the perfect workmanship of the furniture and studies my face. My palms start to sweat as he stares at me, but finally he looks away and says nothing. I take a deep breath and slip away from the two of them.

I’m glad that they like the designs so far, but I’m not sure how much I’ll be able to hide from them. Surely the truth will come out – especially if Dominic and I are spending more and more time together. I sleep over at his cabin a couple of times a week, and I steal any moment I can to go to his workshop. He’ll sneak into my room in the dead of night to sleep next to me for a few hours. I know we should be more careful, or we should just come clean, but everything is too perfect right now to consider it. He’s attentive and loving and funny. I never thought Dominic Clarke could be funny, but he is. I used to think he was the most stoic of the Clarke brothers – the real mountain man. He looks like one! He’s huge, taking up most of whatever room he happens to be in. His voice is deep and when he furrows his brows, he looks almost scary. But when his face softens and that spark appears in his eyes, his true self shines through. That’s the Dominic that makes my heart jump. “There,” Dominic says, wiping the last bit of sawdust off the top of the headboard prototype. I take a step back and compare it to the sketch in my hand. I nod. “Looks good. The arch is much better on this one. You were right about the bevel – it

definitely makes it look more expensive.” “It’s almost like I know what I’m talking about,” he answers with a grin. I elbow him in the ribs and look at the piece of furniture again. “Do you think you’ll be able to make a hundred and four of these? Can’t you hire someone to help you?” “Well with all this cash you’re injecting into my business, I guess I could.” I laugh. “Is that the only reason you keep me around?” “One of them,” he answers with a grin. “I also like to hear you critique my headboard construction.” “We could test out how sturdy it is,” I answer as a grin floats onto my lips. He takes a step towards me and I inhale the smell of musk and sawdust. “I think some testing would be wise. We wouldn’t want any of the hotel guests to get injured.” I smile, taking a step towards him. The heat of his body is almost intoxicating. Whenever I’m near him, it’s like I’m drunk. All my movements are in slow motion. He steps closer to me and I have to tilt my chin up to keep looking at his face. His chest is twice as broad as mine, and his hands find my waist. Our bodies are so close that I can almost hear his heartbeat. I close my eyes and tilt

my chin up towards him, waiting for the kiss that I know is coming. It never comes though. Both of us go stiff and jump apart when someone clears their throat at the entrance to the workshop. “Aiden!” Dominic exclaims. His voice almost comes out as a squeak as he takes another step away from me. I brush the front of my clothes and feel my cheeks burn as I look towards Dominic’s younger brother. He looks exactly as he did when we were kids. My heart starts thumping in my chest and the familiar guilt starts curdling in my stomach. Aiden’s eyes swing from Dominic to me and a jolt passes through me. He was my first love. When I was a teenager, I was sure I would marry him. Now, when he looks at me all I see is loathing. It broke my heart to lose him, but now he feels like a stranger. He takes a step and looks at his brother again. “Am I interrupting anything?” Aiden grunts with an eyebrow raised. Dominic shakes his head. “Nah. Just looking at this furniture,” he says, taking another step away from me and nodding to the headboard. “How was the honeymoon?” “Fine,” Aiden replies. I know why he’s avoiding my stare. I know

it would cause trouble with his brothers, and my parents, and everyone else in town. But still, when Dominic steps away from me it sends a dagger of pain through my heart. For the past couple weeks, we’ve been all over each other. He hasn’t taken his hands off me. I’ve gotten to know his body as well as my own. And now, with Aiden looking at us, he’s avoiding my eyes and turning away from me. I nod. “Anyways, it looks good. I’ll pick it up to get approval on it tomorrow.” Dominic grunts in response and I look from him to his brother. Neither of them looks at me, and I slip out of the workshop with a lump in my throat. My stomach feels like a rock as I climb into the truck that my parents lent me. It has the familiar ‘McCoy Trucking’ logo on the side. For the thousandth time since I’ve gotten back, I curse my last name. I wish I came from a different family. I wish I could choose who I wanted to be with, and I wish everything between the Clarkes and I had never happened. I wish Dominic and I could stop sneaking around and be together. I wish Aiden didn’t look at me like that every time he saw me. I turn my head towards the workshop, and my eyes start to prickle as I think of the two men inside. One of them I loved when I was a teenager. After the accident and his dad’s pneumonia, I was

dead to him. When my parents bought out Mr. Clarke’s business, it was the beginning of the feud. Now, the other brother in that workshop holds a special place in my heart as well. I can feel myself falling for him every day. As much as I try to stop myself, there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m falling in love with the one man who can’t be with me. I’m falling in love with Dominic Clarke.

Chapter 21 - Dominic

It’s not until the noise of Mara’s truck fades down the driveway that Aiden speaks again. “You’re working with the McCoys?” he spits. I sigh and turn back to the headboard. I try to hide the sour expression on my face, and the pain that I felt when I watched Mara walk out. I know I hurt her. I should have told Aiden what was going on. I shouldn’t have denied anything. “I didn’t have any other choice.” “Like fuck you did,” Aiden says again, taking a step towards me. Suddenly the anger starts to bloom in my chest. I look at the outrage on his face and I’m as offended as he is. I take a step towards him and square my shoulders. “That’s pretty fucking hypocritical for you to say,” I snap. “You worked for them for years before starting your own garage.” “That was different.” “How?” He says nothing, just stands in front of me with daggers in his eyes.

“Grow the fuck up, Aiden,” I growl, taking another step in his direction. He doesn’t back down. “Mara is not the reason that Dad died. She’s not the reason that her parents took his business. She’s not a bad person.” Aiden snorts and looks at me like I have three heads. “Excuse me? If it’s not her fault that Dad died, whose is it?” I stare at my brother, seeing the fury in his eyes. I’ve always known that he took Dad’s death the hardest, but I had no idea how strongly he still felt about it, even a decade later. “It was an accident, Aiden,” I say a bit more softly. “If Dad had been to the hospital instead of refusing –” “If she hadn’t fallen in the fucking river, you mean. If that hadn’t happened then he’d still be here.” “It was an accident,” I say again. My patience is starting to wear thin. Now that I know Mara – now that I see what kind of heart she has – I feel so guilty about the past ten years. We’ve shut her out of our lives and out of the town, just because of an accident that happened when we were teens. Aiden bristles in front of me and I know that I won’t be able to convince him. “She’s not a bad person.” “Well even if she isn’t, her parents are. Have you forgotten that they stole Dad’s business

when he was on his death bed? They tricked us into signing it over! And now you’re working for them?” I can hear the hurt in his voice and my own anger starts to fade. My shoulders slump and I shake my head. How can I make him understand? How could I possibly tell him that I’m falling for Mara McCoy, of all people? All I do is sigh. I shake my head and shrug my shoulders. “I’m sick of this, Aiden,” I say. He stares at me with fire in his eyes and I shake my head again. “I’m sick of the fighting, and the animosity, and this whole feud! Sure, the McCoys screwed us over. They’re opportunistic and cruel, but what does hating them do for us?” His chest is heaving up and down and he stares at me, waiting for me to continue. I take a deep breath. “Look, you can feel however you want to. You can hate them for the rest of your life, but I’m sick of it.” I turn back towards my workbench and pick up the nearest tool. I just want him to leave. Instead of leaving, he takes a step towards me. “So are you fucking her now, too?” I spin towards him and grab his collar. “Watch your fucking mouth,” I growl, my face inches from his. “Or what?” I’ve never come so close to hitting my own

brother. The anger is boiling inside me and it feels like I’m about to explode. To hear my own brother speaking about Mara like that makes my stomach turn. We’re locked together, coiled like tight springs, staring into each other’s eyes as both of us wait to see what the other will do. I see nothing in his eyes except aggression and anger. Maybe that’s exactly what’s in my eyes, too. I back down first. I throw him back and nod to the door. “Get the fuck out,” I say. “So you’re choosing them, are you? You’re choosing money and pussy over your own family?” “Fuck you, Aiden. Get off your high horse. You’d still be working for the McCoys if you hadn’t married a rich city girl. You think you started that business by yourself, do you?” Aiden lunges for me, and I almost stumble backwards before catching his forearm in my hand before he can hit me. We grapple with each other, straining against the workbench and pushing each other until I’m able to get him off me. I push him back and he stumbles, brushing himself off and standing up straighter. There’s fire in his eyes and the tension is thick between us. He takes another step forward, lifting his fists up. “Aiden,” I say. I try to keep my voice calm but I see him bristle. He lunges towards me again, and this time

I’m not able to lift my arm in time to block him. I deflect his punch, but his fist connects with my lip in an explosion of pain. I grunt and stumble back, falling over against the new headboard. It cracks down the middle with a loud pop and I grunt again. Aiden stands in front of me and snarls. “You’ve changed, Dominic,” he says. He throws me one more look of pure venom and then turns towards the door. I hear his truck rumble to live and speed down the road. I slump down onto the floor and put my head in my hands. I touch my finger to my lip and feel it swelling up already. There’s bright red blood on my fingers when I pull them away. I sigh, closing my eyes and leaning my head against the ruined headboard. What have I done? What am I doing? My own brother thinks I’m a traitor. I’m trying to move on from the past, but it’s causing even more issues with my family. I’m trying to make my business work, but it’s just creating friction in the town. What happens when everyone else finds out? What happens when people find out that I’m not only working for the McCoys, but I’m also sleeping with Mara? What happens when the McCoys find out I’m working for them! And that I’m sleeping with their daughter! I let out a sigh and comb my hair back with

my fingers. I have no idea what I’m supposed to do. It feels like the right thing to do would be to break it off with Mara and back out of the contract. But what if that’s not the right thing to do? That’s just what’s expected of me. Why are we hanging on to this anger and hatred if it’s just out of habit? The look on Aiden’s face said more than habit though. The way he lunged at me said more than expectation. He’s never hit me like that before. I’m not sure it’s worth it. Should I destroy my relationship with my brother over this contract – over Mara? I lean back against the new headboard and let out a sigh. Everything feels heavy. My limbs feel like they’re made of lead and my chest feels like it’s sunken in. I need to get out of this workshop. I can’t look at any of this today.

Chapter 22 - Mara

It’s hard for me to focus on work. I don’t know what to think. I’m in the small office at the front of the hotel, staring at my computer screen. Every time I look at my sketches, all I see is gibberish. It’s like my eyes can’t focus on anything long enough to make any sense of it. I squint at my computer screen one more time before giving up and putting my head in my hands. I keep seeing the look on Aiden’s face when he walked in to the workshop – it’s the same look that he’s given me ever since his dad died. I’ve always known that this would be an issue, but I didn’t know that it would sting this much. I’ve gotten used to Dominic seeing me for me, but Aiden still looks at me with the same disgust and resentment. Dominic and I have been ignoring the obvious – that sneaking around isn’t going to last. Our relationship is pretty much universally frowned upon. Does Aiden know we’re seeing each other? What did he see when he walked in on us?

The familiar, bitter guilt starts growing inside me when I think of Aiden. I wish I could make him understand that I have no hard feelings towards him. I wish I could just be open with him and tell him how happy I am that he’s found a woman he loves, and how happy I am that his new business is doing well. I wish he’d look me in the eye long enough to see how much I mean it when I say I’m sorry. As much as I tell myself that Mr. Clarke didn’t die because of me, it’s hard to believe it. I’ve carried that weight on my shoulders for over ten years, and all I want is to get rid of it. I want to see something other than hatred in Aiden and his brothers’ eyes. For the past couple weeks, I’ve finally felt like I can breathe. Dominic sees me for who I am. He doesn’t see the accident when he looks at me. I’ve never felt like he blames me for his father’s death. I’ve been able to talk about it for the first time without feeling like I had to apologize. I slump on my desk chair and look at the mess of drawings and paperwork in front of me. The renovations are in full swing and I have a thousand and one things to do – but right now all I can think about is Dominic avoiding my gaze and Aiden staring at me with daggers in his eyes. I’m not sure which one hurt more. My eyes are prickling and my heart is

beating faster than normal as I lean back in my chair. I bring my hands up to my face, trying to stop the tears from pouring out of my eyes. With a deep, raking breath, I look at the ceiling and shake my head. I look at my phone and pick it up, running my fingers over the screen. Should I call Dominic? Should I go see him? Even though I knew this would happen, I still don’t know how to react. I don’t know if I should ignore it and give him space, hoping it’ll all go away. I don't know if anything has changed. We always knew that his brothers, and Aiden especially, wouldn’t be happy about seeing us together. I've always known Aiden despises me. I put my phone down with a sigh. I wouldn't even know what to say to him. I can’t ask him to take our relationship public. Is it even a relationship? We’ve been sleeping together for the past couple weeks. He makes me feel like I’m floating, but is it just sex? Do I mean as much to him as he means to me? I blow the air out of my nostrils and shake my head. My mind is fucking melted. I need to just let this be. Dominic needs time to think, just like I do. I push my chair back and stretch my arms up overhead. I let out a noise and shake my head back and forth. I’m not being productive. I need some air.

Stalking out of the office, I make my way to the back of the hotel towards my bedroom. I pass the kitchen and the staff room on my way to the very back, finally opening the familiar door in the back corner. When I close the door behind me, I lean back against it and close my eyes. This room feels like my sanctuary. It’s quieter than the front of the hotel, and it’s always been the place I come to be alone and think. I take a deep breath and lean back against the door, closing my eyes and trying to calm my heartbeat. I jump at the sound of a knock on the back door. I look up, frowning. There’s only one person that uses that door these days. Dominic. I cross the room in a few steps and rip the door open. My jaw drops when I see him. His clothes are disheveled and his hair is all over the place. His lip is swollen and bloody, with a thin, red line of blood dripping towards his chin. “Dominic!” I exclaim. I usher him inside and sit him down on the bed. I take his chin in my hand. “What happened? Are you okay?” “I’m fine,” he says. “Wait here.” I rush out the door towards the front of the hotel, finding the nearest First Aid kit. I grab some ice and come back with an armful of bandages. Dominic is still sitting on my bed. He’s not moving,

only staring out the window in a daze. I stand in front of him and start cleaning his lip before icing it. I wipe the water that drips down from the ice cube and run my fingers through his hair. I kiss his temple and blink back tears. Dominic closes his eyes and groans in satisfaction as I rub his scalp. “What happened?” I whisper. “Oh, Dominic, I’m so sorry.” He opens his eyes and looks directly at me. “Stop apologizing,” he growls. His eyes are clear and his voice is forceful, so all I do is nod. “Mara,” he continues. “Do you hear me? You did nothing wrong.” A lump forms in my throat and my eyes start to blur. I nod my head and take the ice cube away from his lip. I clean the wound one more time and get to work putting a small bandage over the cut. Dominic stares at me while I work, and I try my best to avoid his gaze. His hands trail up my legs and rest on my thighs. I lean into his touch and take a deep breath, moving my hands to his shoulders and leaning my forehead against his. When I pull away, there are tears in my eyes. “I never wanted this to happen, Dominic. I don’t want to cause even more trouble in your family. It’s not worth it.” “Don’t tell me what’s worth it or not,” he

says. “I’ll decide that for myself.” He stares straight at me and I put my hands on either side of his face. I bring my lips to his forehead and kiss him tenderly, pressing my lips against his skin. He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me closer. We stay like that for a few moments until I pull away and look at him with my eyes full of tears. I try to smile. “I’d kiss you right now, but with that lip…” Dominic grins and grabs my waist, flipping me over beside him onto the bed. He shifts his body around so that he’s on top of me, leaning his weight on his elbow. He runs his finger down my cheek and lays his lips against mine. When he pulls away, he looks into my eyes and smiles. “I don’t care about the lip,” he whispers. “I only care about you.”

Chapter 23 - Dominic

Seeing the smile light up Mara’s face feels like a healing balm on my heart. My lip is throbbing, but I don’t feel any pain. She’s smiling at me and running her fingers along the side of my head. I groan before dipping my head down to lay a soft kiss on her lips. It feels right to be here with her. It feels good. I know that Aiden disapproves. I know her parents wouldn’t approve if they knew we were seeing each other. I know Ethan might not understand, but I can’t help it. After Aiden left, all I wanted to do was make sure she was okay. I’m lying on top of her on the bed, framing her face with my forearms as I lean on my elbows. She smiles at me and I shake my head. “You’re so beautiful, Mara. You know that?” “Stop it,” she says. Her cheeks redden the tiniest bit, and my smile widens. My lip aches as the swollen skin stretches, but it doesn’t stop me from smiling. “I mean it.” I take a deep breath and stare

into her eyes. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, back there – when Aiden showed up. It caught me by surprise and I didn’t know how to react.” She tilts her head to the side and runs her fingers up the side of my body. “I get it,” she responds. “I didn’t know how to react either.” I press my lips against hers as she lifts my shirt up and runs her hands along the skin on my back. I groan and press my body into hers. When I pull away, I can already see the question in her eyes. “Dominic,” she starts. She stares at me for a second before continuing: “What are we doing? What is this? Where does it go from here?” “Why does it need to go anywhere?” I ask, and I immediately know it was the wrong thing to say. She looks at me and frowns. “No, I didn’t mean it like that. I mean…” My voice trails off. “You mean that this is as far as it can go between us.” she finishes softly. Her voice is calm. I force myself to look at her again and see the hurt in her eyes. My voice is gone and I don’t know how to respond. I shake my head. “No, that’s not what I meant.” “So what did you mean?” I take a deep breath and roll onto my back. My legs are hanging off the edge of the bed, and Mara turns towards me. She rests her head on her hand as she lies on her side, waiting for me to

answer. “I don’t know how this is going to work between us, Mara. You make me feel…” I pause. “I don’t know. You make me feel alive. It’s like I’ve been in a daze for years. The past couple of weeks I’ve actually been seeing clearly.” I look at her but she doesn’t respond, so I take a deep breath and keep going. “I just…” I shake my head. “I don’t know how Aiden would ever come to terms with it.” “‘It’ being us?” “Yeah.” She nods, staring off at a point behind me. Her eyes look like they’re glazed over, and I run my fingers along her jaw to pull her back to me. “I’ll figure it out, Mara,” I whisper. “I came here, didn’t I? I came straight to you once he left.” I can see her swallow as she nods. I pull her down towards me and she melts into me, pressing her lips against mine. This time, when we make love, I’m gentle with her. She’s trembling and she feels as fragile as a porcelain doll. I run my hands over her body and kiss her with soft lips. I kiss her until her body relaxes into the bed and then I kiss her some more. I hold her against me, wrapping my arms around her body and keeping her close. Her heart beats against my chest and I catch her lips between mine once more.

She gives herself to me, and I give myself to her. Our bodies meld together until the passion consumes us and she finally relaxes. I kiss her again and again, hoping that she can feel what I feel for her. When she comes, she puts her hands on either side of my face and looks into my eyes. I can see her passion, her desire, her affection. When we’re both spent and panting, I run my fingers up and down her spine. She shivers and moans gently before turning her head towards me on the pillow. “I don’t want to stop seeing you,” she says. Her voice is so soft and quiet, but it rings in my ears. I nod as my heart grows in my chest. I bring my forehead to hers and kiss her tenderly. “I don’t want to stop seeing you either, Mara. Not even a little bit.” The corners of her mouth lift ever so slightly and I kiss her again. My heart is thumping, and I feel like something between us has changed. It’s almost like the spell we’ve been under for the past two weeks is starting to crack. I don’t know if it’s the start of something special, or the beginning of the end. I hope it’s the start of something special. I wrap my arms around her and pull her into me. She rests her head against my chest and sighs as I keep running my fingers up and down her spine. I’m only just getting to know her, and I’m not ready to

let her go. As she curls her fingers and presses herself into me, I know that I can’t let her go. It doesn’t matter what my brothers think, or what the town thinks, or what her parents think. She’s shown me more affection and passion and laughter in the past few weeks than I’ve known for the past ten years. She’s showing me a new side of myself that I didn’t even know existed. No, I’m not ready to let her go. I’ll take a thousand swollen lips from Aiden and a million disapproving stares just to lie next to her at night, and wake up next to her in the morning.

Chapter 24 - Mara

When Dominic leaves, I’m calm. I’m able to head back to my desk and get some work done until it’s completely dark outside and my eyes are starting to shut on their own. I close my computer down and jump when there’s a knock on the door frame. I turn to see my father leaning in the opening of the door. “Hey, Mara,” he says. “You’re working late today.” “Lots to do,” I respond, sweeping my eyes over my desk to make sure there’s no sign of Dominic. “You guys are quite the slave drivers.” My dad chuckles and pulls up a chair, leaning on his knees as he groans to sit down. He takes a deep breath and looks at me. I turn in my chair to face him and wait for him to speak. Ever since I got back, I’ve been keeping my distance from my parents. Most days, I don’t know what to say to them anymore. “Mara, you know I’m proud of you, right? The work that you’ve been doing on the hotel has

been exceptional.” I nod my head, not trusting my voice. “I’m sorry about your engagement. I thought Vincent was a good one.” My eyes narrow as I stare at my father. Is this another mind game? Why would he say that when the whole reason Vincent agreed to marry me was some fucked-up business transaction? “Right,” I finally respond. “Was that before or after you decided to use me as a bargaining chip to build the new hotel?” My dad’s eyebrows shoot up and he puts his hands on the chair’s armrests. “Is that what you think?” “Isn’t that what happened?” I spit. Suddenly, all the emotion from the past weeks and months is bubbling up inside me. My failed engagement, the feelings of betrayal and mistrust, the peace that I’ve found with Dominic – it’s all coming to a head. He shakes his head and makes a noise. “No, no. Mara, that’s not what happened. I would never use you like that.” “Wouldn’t you? Isn’t that what you were doing with Aiden before Mr. Clarke died? And then you didn’t need me anymore once you acquired the trucking business, so you traded me to the next highest bidder instead.” I can hear the venom in my voice and I

don’t care. My father stares at me as if I’m a stranger, and I stare right back at him. We stay there, motionless. He shakes his head from side to side. “No, Mara. I never did that. I didn’t even want the trucking business. It was your mother who –” He stops, looking out towards the hallway and back at me. His mouth drops open and then closes again. He stares at the ground for a few moments and then shakes his head. “No. That’s not what happened.” “Isn’t it? Why else did Vincent break up with me the minute the construction of the new hotel was abandoned? Why else did you encourage me to date Aiden and then turn your back on him the moment his father died?” My father pushes himself up to stand and shakes his head. “Mara…” “Just go, Dad. I’ve got lots of work to do. I don’t even know why I’m doing this for you, after everything you’ve put me through. I thought maybe I could…” Atone. Make it up to the Clarke brothers. Do something for myself. I turn my back on my father and start shuffling some papers. I hear him walk out the door and down the hallway. My heart squeezes in my chest. My eyes are prickling but I don’t let myself cry.

It felt good to say it out loud. It felt good to tell him that I knew about their plans – that I wasn’t going to get played again. It felt good to stand up for myself for once. I run my fingers through my hair and exhale. I close my eyes and lean back in my chair. What am I doing here? Why am I here? I could be anywhere. I didn’t need to come back here after Vincent and I broke up. I could have gone to LA, or New York, or anywhere in between. I could have moved to Paris! Instead, I chose Lang Creek. I chose to start working for my parents. I chose to put myself in this position. Why? The question swirls around my mind and I rub my temples. Am I some sort of masochist? I willingly came back here when I knew that they were the ones who put me in that situation with Vincent in the first place. I finally open my eyes and see one of the first sketches I did. I see Dominic’s changes, and the precise pencil marks that he made to alter the drawings. I pick it up and look at our joint design, and my heart starts to beat a little bit faster. I have my answer. I’m here because of him. Maybe I didn’t know it when I came back, but now I know why I’ve stayed. I know why I proposed the hotel

renovations, and why I’m doing all this work. I’m doing it to spend time with Dominic. Maybe it’s me making amends for the accident that led to Mr. Clarke’s death. Or maybe – just maybe – I’ve started falling for Dominic. Maybe I’ve found someone that finally understands and accepts me. Maybe… …I’m in love. I stare at the sketch until the lines start to blur together. Finally, I drop the sheet and push myself off my chair. I take a slow walk to the back of the building and push my bedroom door open. My room is cold and dark, and I collapse into bed. I’m in love with Dominic Clarke. The words play on repeat over, and over, and over in my mind. I don’t understand how it has happened. I don’t understand why it’s happened, but it has. I’m in love. I stare at the ceiling and feel my heart beating against my ribcage. Now that I’ve admitted it to myself, it seems so much bigger and more real than it did before. If this is love – real love, I mean – if this is love, then it’s worth fighting for. It’s worth putting up with Aiden’s animosity, and my parents’ disapproval. It’s worth admitting to the whole town that I want to be with Dominic. If this is love, then I sure as hell hope

Dominic feels the same way. I don’t think I can take another heartbreak. I’m letting myself fall for Dominic… …if it ends badly then I’m not sure I’ll ever be the same.

Chapter 25 - Dominic

When I leave Mara’s room, I feel better. My lip is throbbing but I hardly feel it. All I can think of is Mara’s skin, her smell, her smile. It feels so good to be with her, it can’t possibly be wrong. I start walking back towards my place and then pause before turning around and walking the other direction. Before long, I’m outside my brother Ethan’s house. He opens the door after a couple of knocks. “What happened to you?” He asks, eyebrows raised as he looks at my lip. “Aiden,” I respond. Ethan’s eyebrows stay up, but he just nods in response. “I see.” He steps aside and I walk into his house. I collapse onto the sofa and Ethan grabs me a beer. I take it and nod in thanks. “So why did Aiden do that to your face?” He asks, taking a seat in the chair opposite me. “What did you do?” I take a sip of beer and glance at my little brother. “It’s my fault, is it?”

Ethan grins. “You must have done something.” “I took a job from the McCoys.” Ethan’s mouth drops open and he nods slowly. “Ah,” he says. “I see. The renovations.” “Aiden walked in on Mara and I discussing one of the pieces. He… wasn’t happy to see her.” “Is ‘discussing one of the pieces’ a euphemism for something? I remember the way she looked at you when we were at the bar a couple of weeks ago.” I lift an eyebrow and shake my head. “It is not a euphemism,” I answer. But it might as well be. Ethan chuckles. “Fair enough.” “I don’t get why he’s so mad at her. She’s actually a really nice person, you know. Did you know that she paid for her schooling on her own? I always thought she got that degree with the money from Dad’s company, but she worked through college and paid it herself. She started her own consulting business online. She’s incredible.” Ethan takes a sip of beer and narrows his eyes. I can feel my cheeks start to burn as he studies my face, but I keep my eyes steady on his. He nods slowly. “No, I didn’t know that,” he finally answers. I take a big gulp of beer and lean back in the sofa. I sigh, looking up at the ceiling.

“I’m sick of this.” “Sick of what?” “Sick of all this drama over nothing!” I exclaim. Ethan makes a noise. “Dad dying is nothing? The McCoys taking advantage of us when he was in the hospital is nothing?” I look at my little brother and see the same indignation in his face as I saw in Aiden’s. It’s not as strong, but it’s there. Doubt starts to curl deep inside me. What if they’re right to be mad? “It’s not nothing,” I say. “It’s just… Wouldn’t it be easier to forgive? Mara didn’t do anything wrong. Why do we hate her?” “We don’t hate her, we just don’t associate with her family.” I look at Ethan and try to figure out what he’s thinking. His face is stone still and I sigh, shaking my head. “So you think I deserve this?” I ask, pointing to my lip. Ethan’s lips start to curl into a grin. He shrugs. “I wouldn’t say that. I wouldn’t say you don’t deserve it, but I wouldn’t say you do.” “What’s that supposed to mean?” “I can see both sides.” I snort and shake my head, bringing the beer bottle to my lips again. Ethan has always been great at speaking in riddles. Finally, I put the beer

down and look at my brother. I’m practically pleading with my eyes before I start to speak. “Am I wrong here, Ethan? Should I not have taken this job?” “Well,” he says, pausing to take a sip. “That depends. It’s a bit hypocritical of Aiden to say that, considering he worked for them for years.” “That’s what I said!” I exclaim. Ethan laughs. “And how did that go over?” “He punched me in the face,” I answer with a grin. Ethan laughs again and shakes his head. “Look,” he says. “I don’t know what the right thing to do is. Work is work, and you needed the job. Sounds like it’s a big one, so no one can fault you for taking it. It’s just money, it’s not like you’re banging Mara or anything.” My throat tightens and I try to swallow. I avert my eyes and nod as he speaks. Ethan pauses, and I can feel his eyes boring into me. “Dominic,” he says. I drag my eyes up to his and try to keep my face steady. “Yeah?” “You’re not banging Mara, are you?” “Well, I…” My shoulders slump and I shrug at my brother. His jaw drops and he shakes his head. He leans back in his chair and brings his beer bottle to his lips. After he drinks, he looks at me again and shakes his head some more. “Dom,” he says.

I shrug. “I don’t know how it happened!” “What, you slipped and accidentally had sex? What do you mean you ‘don’t know how it happened?’” “I just mean…” My voice trails off and I look at my brother. All I can do is shrug and shake my head. Finally, a grin starts to appear on his face and his shoulders start to shake. I can feel the laughter bubbling up through my stomach and pretty soon the two of us are doubled over with laughter. Tears are streaming down my cheeks as I laugh, and laugh, and laugh. Ethan slaps his knee. His face scrunches as he laughs and he throws his head back. Finally, the two of us quiet down and Ethan shakes his head. I take a deep breath. “Dom,” Ethan says. “What are you doing?” “I’m not sure,” I respond, staring into my beer bottle. “You’re playing with fire.” “I’m good at that, apparently,” I shoot back. Ethan laughs again and nods. “True.” I take a deep breath and look at my little brother. It should be me counselling him, not the other way around. I’m almost five years older than him. He stares at me and nods his chin down once before speaking again.

“Do you care about her?” My throat closes again and my heart thumps in my chest. Ethan’s face is completely serious, and I drop my eyes to my beer bottle again. I peel the label off with my fingernail as I chew on his question. I know the answer. Of course I care about her. I’m crazy about her. It’s never felt this good to be with a woman. I’ve never met anyone as funny or driven or clever as she is. But how can I say that to Ethan? How can I admit it out loud, when I know that he blames her for Dad’s death? Finally, I lift my eyes back up to him and nod. “Yeah,” I croak. “I do.” Ethan takes a deep breath and shrugs. “Then you’re fucked,” he says. I snort and chuckle as I shake my head. “Completely.”

Chapter 26 - Mara

Something has changed. I can feel it, even though everything on the surface seems the same. Dominic leaves a bit earlier in the morning, before the sun comes up. He doesn’t come into town at all, and I think he’s avoiding me in public. When it’s just the two of us, he’s just as affectionate as he was a couple of days ago. His hands seem to know my body and he touches me with a tenderness that’s surprising from a man his size. But still, something’s changed. The renovations are about halfway through, with the lobby and dining hall finished and about half the rooms under way. Dominic has been able to deliver all his pieces on time, and they’ve gotten rave reviews from everyone who’s seen them. “Mara, there you are!” My mother calls out as she comes down the hallway. “I have a surprise for you in the office!” I glance over. “Okay, I’ll be right there. I just want to make sure this furniture goes to the right place.”

“When are you going to tell me the name of this furniture maker?” my mother exclaims as another perfect set of nightstands is carried through the door. “His work is exceptional.” I smile and shake my head. “Maybe never.” She clicks her tongue and gives me a sideways glance. “I can tell you who made those,” a voice calls out behind me. A shiver runs down my spine and I already know who the voice belongs to. I’d recognize that voice anywhere. I turn around and my heart sinks like a stone. “Aiden,” I say. “What are you doing here?” my mother snarls. “That’s not the warm greeting you give all your other guests, I hope,” he shoots, glancing at my mother. In a second, his eyes are back on me. My heart is thumping against my ribcage, and I open and close my mouth. “Why are you… Can I help you with anything?” “I just wanted to make sure we were all on the same page. And from what I can tell,” he says, nodding to my mother. “You’ve kept your parents in the dark.” “What are you talking about? Mara, what is he talking about?” My mother squeals. I ignore her, keeping my eyes trained on Aiden.

“Aiden…” I start, trying to keep my voice calm. I can see the fire in his eyes. He’s angry. He’s as angry as I’ve ever seen him. His broad body is taking up the entire doorway, and his arms are hanging by his sides as he opens and closes his fists. He looks like he’s trembling, and I have no idea what he’s going to do. “Mara,” he replies through gritted teeth. When he says my name, I try to suppress a shiver. There was a time when I loved hearing my name on his tongue, when I was drunk in teenage love. Now, it sounds bitter when he says it. He takes a step forward and opens his mouth again. “Aiden!” A voice calls out from behind him. My heart lifts as I recognize Dominic. He appears behind Aiden and clamps a hand on his shoulder. “Aiden!” Aiden shrugs the hand off and turns around. “Get your fucking hands off me!” Ethan, the youngest of the three, appears in the doorway as well. “Come on, Aiden. Don’t do this.” “Don’t do what!” My mother screeches. I put a hand on her forearm and can feel her trembling. “Get out of here! All three of you!” I put a bit of pressure on her arm to keep her from stepping forward. She’s shaking. The three brothers pay her no attention.

There are unspoken words between them, and after a few tense moments, Aiden huffs and spins around, stalking back down the street. I watch him get into his truck and speed off down the road. Dominic and Aiden look at each other, and then back towards me and my mother. “Sorry about that,” Dominic grunts, looking at the ground between us. Look me in the eye! I want to scream. Look at me! “What’s going on?” My mother asks to no one in particular. “Tell me!” Ethan looks up at me, and I know he knows about me and Dominic. He glances at Dominic who lifts his eyes up to me. I look at the two brothers and glance down the road towards where the third Clarke brother just disappeared. I glance at my mother and take a deep breath. “Mom,” I start, “Dominic is the one who has been making the new furniture.” I think she might faint. She stumbles backwards and clutches her heart as I try to keep her steady. Ethan rushes forward, trying to help but she swats him away. “WHAT!” She finally yells. “What did you just say?” I take a deep breath and glance at Dominic. He finally lifts his eyes up to mine and I see the pain inside him. It’s killing him to be in the middle

of this. The guilt coiled deep inside me starts to wake up. This is all my fault. That look on his face – the pain, the discomfort, the hurt – it’s my fault. I should never have asked him to make this furniture for us. I should never have gotten involved with him. I’ve once again caused trouble for his family, and dragged him into a situation that he wants no part of. I turn to my mother and take a deep breath. “He’s the best there is, Mom.” “Do you think I care?” She exclaims. She looks at me, wide-eyed, until my shoulders slump. “Mara! Inside. Now!” She stalks off towards the office and I watch her go before turning to the brothers. I take a step towards Dominic and try to put my hand on his arm but he steps away from me. I drop my hand and feel a hot knife pass through my heart as he looks away from me. I glance at Ethan, who looks at his brother and then at me. “I’m sorry,” I say. Dominic finally looks at me and shakes his head. “I should never have gotten involved with you. I knew it would be trouble, and here we are. This?” he moves his finger from me back to

himself. “This was a mistake.” My chest feels hollow. My eyes are starting to blur as his words sink in. I watch him turn around and get into Ethan’s waiting truck. Ethan glances at me and follows his brother without saying a word. When they drive off, they take the air out of my lungs and the light from my eyes. They turn the corner and drive out of view as the first tear spills over my cheek. I turn around and look down the hallway where my mother disappeared. I take a deep breath and start the long walk over to the office, preparing myself for the worst. This was a mistake. His words are ringing in my ears and I brush the hot tears from my eyes. I try to compose myself in the few seconds before I have to face my mother. Somehow, I’ll have to hide the fact that my heart is shattered into a million pieces. I stumble back to my room and sit on my bed in a daze. I’m not sure how much time goes by. Minutes? Hours? I finally lift myself up and take a deep breath. I make the long walk back towards the office. My feet feel heavy, and I struggle to keep my shoulders back. My chest is hollow and I feel completely empty. When I turn the corner into the office, my heart somehow drops down further down into my

stomach. I stop in my tracks and open my mouth in shock as I look at the visitor in the office. This must be the ‘surprise’ that my mother was talking about. My mother’s furious face is staring at me. Beside her, sitting in my desk chair, is my smug, suave ex-fiancé. “Vincent? What are you doing here?” I exclaim. My voice comes out as a squeak and I stare from him to my mother in shock. “Hello, Mara,” he says as a smirk spreads over his face. “It’s nice to see you too.”

Chapter 27 - Dominic

Ethan and I drive in silence. After a few long moments, he takes a deep breath. “Don’t,” I say before he can speak. “Please, Ethan. I don’t want to talk about it.” I see Ethan nod out of the corner of my eye and I keep staring out the window. I wish I wasn’t putting him in this position, but I couldn’t help myself. Something about Mara draws me to her. She’s irresistible. Plus, I needed the work. Why should I stay away from Mara based on some old feud from 10 years ago! I don’t have any hard feelings for her. When we get to the edge of town, instead of turning down the long gravel road to my house, Ethan continues straight. I glance over at him. “Where are we going?” “We’re going to Aiden’s,” he replies. His tone of voice leaves no room for discussion. My heart starts thumping a bit harder, and I stare at the trees and mountains going by as we drive down the road.

My muscles tense as we get closer to the winding road that will take us up the mountain to Aiden’s cabin. The sky seems darker all of a sudden. The drive seems to take forever. Finally, the tension is too much for me. I turn to Ethan. “What do you expect me to say to him? I’m pretty sure the contract is finished now. You saw Mrs. McCoy.” “I expect you to talk to him.” I sigh and shake my head. “Ethan, what kind of good is talking going to do? What do you want me to say?” Ethan glances over at me and a pang passes through my chest. His eyes soften and he looks back towards the road. We turn off on the familiar gravel road that will take us to Aiden’s. Instead of driving up, Ethan pulls over on the shoulder and turns to me. “I agree with you,” he starts. He stares at me and I see my father’s wisdom in his eyes. He takes a deep breath and pauses. “But…?” I urge him to continue. “But is it worth it?” There’s something different in the way that he’s looking at me. I see something in him that I haven’t seen since we were teenagers, standing around our father’s deathbed. I see the sadness and loneliness that’s been curled deep inside all of us for the past ten years.

I look away from him and stare out the windscreen. The pine trees are swaying gently. The sun is shining and big puffy white clouds are floating through the sky. It’s a picture-perfect day, but it feels like the weather is laughing at me. I shrug. “I don’t know, Ethan. I just can’t bring myself to be mad at her.” Ethan nods. We sit in silence, considering each other’s words for a few minutes. After a pause, Ethan puts the car in gear again and starts the slow, winding drive up the mountain. We crawl upwards, until finally the trees clear and I see the house that we grew up in. Aiden renovated it and moved into it with his new wife. The cabin that he lived in for almost ten years has been converted into a workshop. Ethan glances at me and kills the engine. We step out of his car and make our way towards the house. Our shoes crunch on the gravel. A bird sings in a nearby tree, but otherwise the forest is completely silent. As I put my foot on the first step up to the porch, the front door swings open. Aiden’s dark face greets us without a word. I pause, not knowing what to say to him. He glances from me to Ethan and his brows knit together. Finally, he swings the door open and nods for us to come in. Without a word, he leads us to the kitchen at the back of the house. I glance around, feeling like

a stranger in my childhood home. He’s made so many changes that it might as well be a different house. We get to the kitchen and Aiden leans against the counter. There’s a big oak table in front of us, and Aiden motions to it. “You know how I’ve been looking through Dad’s old stuff in the attic?” I grunt in response, looking at the papers on the table. I take a step closer, frowning. They look like letters. I recognize my father’s handwriting on a couple of them, but most of them are unfamiliar. I pick one up, scanning it quickly and settling my eyes on the name at the bottom. My eyebrows shoot upwards and I glance at Aiden. Ethan is staring at me, gauging my reaction. My mouth goes dry and my tongue feels almost too big for my mouth. I try to swallow and look at the letter again. I clear my throat. “This is a love letter,” I finally say. “Addressed to Dad.” Aiden nods. “It’s from Margaret McCoy. There are dozens like it.” I glance at the table, picking up another letter at random. My heart is thumping against my chest and I frown again. I shake my head, then stare at the letters before glancing back at my brothers. “I don’t get it. Were they having an affair? Was this after Mom died?”

Ethan and Aiden glance at each other. Ethan answers first. “We’re not sure. There aren’t any letters that Dad wrote. The last one is here,” he says, picking a crumpled paper out of the stack. “It’s dated right after the accident.” I take the paper from my brother and frown. “You knew about this?” I ask Ethan. “I just found these a couple days ago,” Aiden responds. “I showed Ethan yesterday.” “Were you planning on telling me?” I ask, suddenly angry at being left in the dark. Ethan nods. “Of course. With you and Mara, and your contract with the McCoys…” His voice trails off, and I frown. “I don’t get it. Why would I care about this? It’s ten years ago.” “Just read it,” Aiden grunts. I look back at the crumpled paper and frown as I try to make out the faded writing.

My darling Calvin, I’ve spent the last two days in agony, blaming myself for what happened at the river. I shouldn’t have suggested going down to the river, but I couldn’t bear to be apart

from you for another day. Being near you is like a soothing balm on my soul. Stealing glances your way as our children played together is the sweetest joy. Your last letter has shattered my heart. Knowing you want nothing to do with me is tearing me apart. You saved my daughter’s life, and I can never thank you enough. And now, I just want to be by your side for the rest of time. Calvin, please, my Calvin. Don’t walk away from me. Eternally yours, Margaret I read the letter three times and finally look up at my brothers. I shake my head. “I don’t get it.” “He broke up with her after the accident, I guess,” Ethan says. “That’s what I figure, anyway.” “And then he got sick,” I say, looking back at the crumpled piece of paper. “And Margaret McCoy bought out Dad’s company from underneath us,” Aiden replies. I glance up at his face, and I see a torrent of emotions passing over it. I pull up a chair and sit

down, putting my head in my hand, staring at the letter. “So, this whole thing…?” I breathe. “This whole feud, or whatever it is… it’s revenge? For Dad breaking up with her? She cheated on Tim that whole time?” I glance up at my brothers and they shrug in unison. “That’s what I can figure out,” Ethan says. “That’s why Margaret can’t stand us,” I breathe. The realization hits me like a tidal wave. My eyes widen and I look at the dozens and dozens of letters on the table. “She’s going to fuck you over,” Aiden says. He sighs, rubbing his forehead with his hand. “Even if Mara cares about you. Even if you care about her,” he says. “Margaret McCoy will fuck you over.” I try to make sense of everything. I try to understand what this changes – if it changes anything. Margaret was cheating on her husband with our dad. He broke it off with her, and then he died – and she bought his business out from under us. She hasn’t been able to stand us since. “Mara told me that her parents used her to do the deal with the luxury hotel. They married her off to the highest bidder, basically.” “Sounds about right,” Aiden replies bitterly. He sighs. “Look, Dominic. I don’t care about you

and Mara. I thought I did, but I don’t. I dated her when I was seventeen.” He sighs, tilting his head back and looking at the ceiling. He shakes his head and my heart races as he opens his mouth to speak. “All this,” he says, nodding to the table. “It runs a lot deeper than we ever knew.” “I don’t know if you should get involved with them,” Ethan finishes. I stare at my brothers and then at the letters. My shoulders slump. Mara’s face appears in my mind. I see her on my pillow, with her hair around her head like a halo, and the sweetest smile on her lips. I see the sunlight streaming through the window onto her perfect body, and I feel the happiness flood my veins when I think of waking up next to her. I glance at the crumpled letter in my hand, and I take a deep breath. “I don’t know what to think,” I finally reply.

Chapter 28 - Mara

“What are you doing here? What is he doing here?” I look from Vincent to my mother and frown. This feels wrong. It feels all wrong. Alarm bells are going off in my mind and I try to make sense of what I’m seeing. This is the man that didn’t even say goodbye to me. This is the man who sent his personal assistant to help his ex-fiancée move out of his mansion. Vincent gets up and takes a step towards me. I take a step back and put up my hand. “Mara,” he croons. “Come on, babe.” “Don’t call me babe. I’m not your babe.” His face softens as a hint of hesitation pierces my heart. Memories pass through my mind like a flash – all the times we had candlelit dinners and romantic walks. All the vacations and presents he got me. I look at him again and frown. It was all fake. I’ve felt more affection in a few weeks with Dominic than I did in three years with him. He was just buying me, like he buys

everyone and everything around him. “What are you doing here?” “Mara, darling,” my mother interjects. “Vincent reached out to me. He realizes what a mistake he’s made and wanted to come back. He wanted to make it up to you in person.” I swing my eyes over to my mother and frown. “Excuse me?” “I miss you,” Vincent says. I look back at him and take a step back as he takes another step towards me. My heart is beating furiously and my head is screaming run. My feet stay rooted in place and all I can do is look at the man who played me for a fool. “Why are you here?” I croak. “I needed to see you,” he says gently. My breath is shallow and my heart is thumping. This feels wrong. It all feels wrong. Dominic is gone. My mother is furious. Vincent is here. This is all wrong. This isn’t how this was supposed to happen. I don’t understand what’s happening. Does he care about me? Was I wrong about being used? My father clears his throat behind me and I jump. I turn to him, eyes wide as I stare at the three of them. “Mara,” he says, putting his hand on my arm. I jump. “Mara, Vincent reached out to your

mother and we invited him to come here.” I shake my head back and forth as the words catch in my throat. I don’t know what to say. The betrayal I felt when I came back here is bubbling up inside me. I don’t know where to turn. I don’t know where to go. Dominic doesn’t want to see me, and my parents only think of themselves. The man who used me to advance his business is standing right in front of me, turning on his charm like a faucet. I’m alone. Vincent takes a step towards me and this time I don’t back up. He motions to the door and the side of his mouth curls into a gentle smile. “Walk and talk with me?” I’m almost suffocating in this room, and I can’t think. I just nod and let him guide me back in the direction I came in from, and then out the hotel’s front door. The sunlight outside is almost blinding. I’m walking in a daze, vaguely uncomfortable with Vincent’s presence beside me. My heart is racing, my vision is blurry, and all I can do is put one foot in front of the other. We turn down Main Street and take a few steps in silence. Finally, I stop and turn towards him. “What are you doing here, Vincent? Why are you here?” He frowns, and tries to reach towards me. I

shrug him off and shake my head. “Answer my question.” He takes a deep breath. “I wanted to see you, babe.” “Stop calling me that.” “You’re mad, I get it,” he says slowly. I can feel the anger bubbling up inside me as he tiptoes around my questions. All I want to know is the truth. I just want him to be straight with me, for once. I just want someone to tell me exactly what is going on. “Vincent. You broke our engagement off after the hotel deal went through. Now, we’ve been certified as official accommodation for the Park, and suddenly you’re back?” His eyebrows shoot up and his hand flies to his chest. I resist the urge to roll my eyes. “Mara! Is that what you think of me?” “It’s what it feels like,” I spit. “What am I supposed to think? Why are you here?” “I’m here because I want you!” he exclaims. He puts a hand on my waist and my whole body tenses. “I made a mistake, letting you go. I got caught up with work and I didn’t appreciate what was right in front of me. I should never have let you leave.” “Let me leave?” I repeat, raising my eyebrow. “You pretty much kicked me out, Vince.” “I did not,” he says. “You know how it was

between us. We were falling apart.” I make a noise to protest, shrugging his arm away, and he reaches over to take my hand in his. “That was mostly my fault, I’ll admit that. I know it was. But I’m here now,” he says. I hate the way he’s looking at me. I hate the way he can change his face from cold and heartless to charming in an instant. I hate the way that I’m not in control of my own emotions whenever he’s around. There’s something different inside me now, though. I’ve found a new strength within me in the past few weeks. It feels like a shroud has been lifted from my eyes, and I can see everything just a little bit more clearly. I can see him for who he is, and his smooth words and charm-on-tap isn’t having the same effect it had three years ago. He takes a step towards me, still holding my hand. His face starts dipping towards mine and my heart starts hammering against my chest. Is he doing what I think he’s doing…? As he moves his head closer to mine, I put my hand on his chest and push him off. “Vince! Get away from me!” He takes a step back and a cloud passes over his face. The mask of charm falls away for an instant and I see the anger in his eyes. It’s replaced in an instant with a placid look as he takes a step towards me.

“Don’t be like this, babe. I need you!” “Stop. Just stop,” I say, shaking my head and backing away from him. “I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to see you!” He catches my wrist in his and grabs me, pinching my skin. I yelp as he grips me tightly. I try to pull away but he keeps his hand on me, and that same flash of anger passes over his face. It disappears, and he lets go of my hand. I stumble backwards and practically run back towards my parents’ hotel. By the time I make it to my room, I can’t see straight. My heart is beating in my chest and I lock the doors before collapsing into bed. I rub my wrist where he’s left red marks and feel the hot tears streaming down my face. My chest feels hollow and pain pierces through my heart. I’ve lost Dominic, and I can’t trust my own family. I’ve never felt so alone.

Chapter 29 - Dominic

I turn away from the couple as they walk down Main Street. I’ve seen enough. I’d recognize Mara’s fiancé anywhere, with his crisp clothing and his slicked-back hair. Seeing Mara with him is like a knife straight to the heart. “Just take me home,” I say to Ethan. He turns the car around and we drive in silence towards my house. When he stops the car, he looks at me without saying a word. I snort and chuckle bitterly. “Like mother like daughter, hey?” I say, glancing at my brother. He looks away from me and grips the steering wheel a little bit harder. “Maybe it wasn’t what it looked like,” he says. I shake my head. “I don’t know.” It looked like she was having a romantic stroll with her exfiancé. Ethan nods to me and purses his lips. I nod back and open the door. I don’t look back as I walk towards my little house. I hear him drive off, but all I do is walk into my tiny house and slam the door behind me.

Everything is a mess. I can’t think. I walk straight to the refrigerator and crack open a beer. It’s empty in a few seconds, and I crush the can in my hand and toss it in the trash. I falls into the bag with a soft thud, and I grab another one before slumping down onto the couch. I turn the television on just to get some noise to drown out my thoughts. Why was she with him? What happened between her mother and my father? What is happening between us? Should I be doing this? Every thought I have turns back towards the image of Mara and her ex on Main Street. They were a couple blocks away, but I couldn’t mistake who he was. Not with that hair and those clothes. She didn’t seem upset to be with him, not from where I was sitting. The hot betrayal pierces through me and I guzzle some more beer. How could she? The very same day that her mother finds out I’m the one supplying the furniture, she runs back to her ex? Do I really mean so little to her? I pace up and down my small house. The anger is bubbling up inside me and I try to hold it down. I try to control myself – to not get carried away. The anger just builds and builds and builds until I can’t take it anymore.

I push my door open and stalk towards the workshop. There are half a dozen unfinished pieces for the hotel in there, and I look at them with disgust. I’m a sellout. I took her money and slept with her. For what? I should have had more integrity. I’m no better than she is. I’m no better than her mother. What did my dad ever see in her anyway? For my entire life, I thought he was devoted to my mother – even after her death. But now it turns out he was sleeping with Margaret McCoy of all people? I grab on of the nightstands that I finished this morning and carry it outside. I hurl it across the yard and it lands with a crunch. I walk to it and rip one of the legs off, throwing it off towards the trees. I stomp on the rest of the side table as it collapses under my weight. My lips curl into a snarl and I grunt as I smash the nightstand to kindling. I’m not thinking anymore, I’m just throwing and kicking and stomping until the sweat is dripping down my forehead. I take a step back and look at the broken piece of furniture. It took me four days to make and ten minutes to destroy. My chest is heaving up and down. My fists are clenching and unclenching as I stand there, looking at the destruction in my front yard.

There are bits of timber all over the grass. One of the legs of the table is near the edge of the trees, and the rest is unrecognizable. I sit on the grass and put my head in my hands, my chest still heaving up and down as I pant. Before I know what’s happening, tears are streaming down my face. I haven’t cried in ten years – not since I was a teenager watching my father die before my eyes. I haven’t cried since that day, but somehow today feels worse. I thought I had something with Mara. I thought I meant something to her, in the way that she means to me. I thought I’d filled the hole in my heart and that I’d be able to find something more in these mountains. I thought I could be happy. I was an idiot. As my breathing turns to sobbing and the tears flow from my eyes, all I feel is betrayal. The tears burn my cheeks as they pour down my face, and I curl my hands into my hair, pulling it out as I rock back and forth. Finally, I uncurl myself and stand up. My body feels stiff and sore as I make my way back towards my house. Before stepping through the doorway, I cast one last glance across my front yard. The stinging in my heart dulls as I look at the destruction I’ve wreaked on my own work. I take a deep breath and turn my back on the broken furniture. I can’t clean it up right now.

I can’t even look at it. Everything reminds me of her. Everything reminds me of my dad, and the accident, and all the things that I never knew for all these years. I don’t know who my dad was, or who Margaret McCoy is, or why she still hates us. I don’t know who Mara is, or if anything between us was even real. All I know is that there’s a hole in my heart and I can’t think of anything except dulling the pain in my chest. I slam the door closed as I walk through it and forget about the carnage in the front yard. I go straight to the fridge and crack open another beer, ready to drown myself into oblivion. I want to forget about it all. I want to turn back time and tell Mara to stay away from me. I want to forget what it feels like to have her body next to mine, and forget what she smells like. I want to forget her touch and her taste and her voice and her laugh. I want to forget everything. I slump on the couch and drink until forgetting seems possible, and then I drink some more.

Chapter 30 - Mara

There’s a knock on the door and I jump. My father’s voice comes through the door. “Mara? Mara, are you okay?” There’s that question again – Are you okay? Why do people always seem to ask me that when I am most definitely not okay? I take a deep breath and sit up in bed. “I’m fine, Dad. Just want to be on my own.” “Okay,” he says through the door. It takes a few seconds before I hear his quiet footsteps pad back down the hallway. My throat closes and I blink back the tears that are gathering in my eyes. I grab my phone and dial Dominic’s number. The phone rings and rings until it goes to voicemail, and I hang up. I put my phone down for a few moments before trying him again. Voicemail again. I sigh, staring at the blank screen before sitting up. I turn to the back door of my room and take a deep breath before standing up. I slip on my jacket and go outside. The sun

is starting to go down and there’s a cool breeze in the air. I let my feet take me towards Dominic’s house. As I get closer, my heart starts beating harder and I wonder what I’m going to say to him. Last time I saw him, I saw pain and betrayal in his eyes before he got into Ethan’s truck. Since then, I’ve been on a wild roller coaster ride. All I want is to have his arms around me and feel the comfort that I’ve had for the past few weeks. I walk quickly through the forest as the last light of the afternoon filters through the trees. The path is carpeted in old pine needles, and I step over tree roots and rocks on my way to his house. The air smells fresh, and I take deep, cleansing breaths as I make my way towards his house. With each step, I feel more comfortable. Everything will work out. I know I don’t want to be with Vincent. I saw the look in his eyes when his carefully crafted mask dropped, and I still have the marks on my wrist where he grabbed me. I saw the insistence with which my mother tried to push us together. I’m not sure if she’ll agree to finish the contract with Dominic. I’m not sure if Dominic wants to see me, or if he wants anything to do with me. All I know is that I have to talk to him. I have to tell him how I feel about him. I have to show him that he matters to me – that I’m not like my mother.

He has to understand that! He will, won’t he? With every step, my confidence grows. Soon, a smile is playing on my lips as I think of kissing him. I can almost feel his arms around me and the way that our bodies melt together. I can feel the happiness growing in my chest as I get closer to him. When I round the last corner, that happiness starts to fade. I frown as the trees thin and his small log house comes into view. I sweep my eyes over his front yard and my heart drops. There are splinters of wood everywhere. The remnants of a table or a nightstand are all over the grass. There’s a leg near the edge of the treeline, but the rest of the table is unrecognizable. I take a few hesitant steps forward and my heart starts thumping. Whatever it was, it’s completely destroyed now. He must have smashed it over and over and over to get it to break this much. I pick up a piece of wood and turn it around in my hand, glancing towards the house. I look over at the workshop and see the door open. I take a few slow steps as my heart hammers against my ribcage. With a deep breath, I peer inside the workshop and let out a sigh when I see it empty. “Dominic?” I call out softly. I step inside

and look around once more. “Dominic?” I do a slow lap of the room, checking under the benches. I shake my head. Why would he be under there? When I’m sure the workshop is empty, I step back outside and close the door quietly behind me. My breath is shallow as I tip-toe towards the house. The curtains are drawn, and I try to peek in the tiny opening between the edge of the window and the curtain. I can see a sliver of the room, but no sign of Dominic. My heart is racing now, and my palms are starting to sweat. I turn around and look at the destruction in the front yard one more time. What drove him to do this? Was it just seeing my mother upset at the hotel? Surely that wouldn’t drive him this crazy? I turn back towards the door and walk up to it. I ball up my fist and lift it up, taking one last deep breath as I try to slow down my racing heartbeat. I close my eyes and knock. I hold my breath as I wait for his heavy footsteps. Nothing. I’m greeted with complete silence. I take another deep breath and knock again, a bit louder this time. “Dominic?” I call out. I wait again, counting the seconds of silence that follow. Finally, I shake my shoulders and take a deep breath. I put my hand on the doorknob and

turn it slowly, hoping to find it locked. If it’s locked, I can turn around and go home. I can try to forget the smashed night stand. I can call Dominic again later. I can figure out what’s going on. But it’s not locked. The doorknob turns in my hand, and I push the door open. That’s when I see him. He’s collapsed on the sofa with crushed beer cans all around him. My hand flies up to my face in horror as I look at the state he’s in. I take a step inside and hesitate, afraid to breathe. Should I try to wake him? I glance behind me at the smashed table and my heart sinks. Is this the man that I know? Is this the man that I’ve been falling for? He would come home and destroy something in a fit of rage and then drink himself to sleep? The happiness I felt on the walk over is completely gone. I don’t know what to think, or how to feel, or what to do. I take a step towards him and accidentally kick a can. It spins on the floor towards him and knocks against his foot. My eyes widen and I wait for him to wake up, but he doesn’t even stir. I watch him for a few moments as my chest squeezes. I still care about him. I don’t know what’s going on, and I don’t understand why he got upset

and then drank himself to sleep, but I still want to be there for him. Dominic’s head is at an unnatural angle, so I grab a cushion from the couch and prop his head up. It’s heavy, and he doesn’t wake up as I move him. I grab a blanket from the end of the bed and cover him before laying a soft kiss on his temple. He stinks of beer and he starts snoring. I stroke my finger along his cheek, scratching his stubble and imagining him groaning in satisfaction. My heart sinks as I walk back towards the door. I glance from the destruction in the front yard to the mess in the house, and I feel like crying. I take a deep breath and close the door before making the long, painful walk back towards the hotel. My father’s voice rings in my ears: Are you okay? No, Dad. I’m definitely not okay. Not even close.

Chapter 31 - Dominic

My head is splitting. I try to sit up and groan as my whole body screams at me for moving. I squint at the pale light of dawn that filters through the window as I lift myself up. My blanket falls off and I look at the cushion behind me. I don’t remember getting those yesterday. I frown, looking around me at the crumpled cans of beer before dropping my head into my hands. Ugh. I shouldn’t have done that. I’ve never been a drinker, and I’ve definitely never been one to drink myself into oblivion. I groan again as I brush the blanket off, looking at it one more time before leaning back on the sofa. I definitely don’t remember getting that from the bedroom, but who knows. All I remember is drinking beer, after beer, after beer. I hardly even flinch when there’s a knock on the door. I sigh and bring my hands to my temples, rubbing them in slow circles to try to ease the pain radiating through my forehead. I don’t care who’s there. I just want to be left alone.

“Dominic!” Aiden’s voice calls out. “Dominic!” I sigh, groaning as I heave myself off the couch. What is Aiden going to be mad about today? My feet drag on the floor as I make my way to the front door. I open it to see Aiden’s concerned face. “Dude, what the fuck happened here?” He asks, glancing at the yard. “What the fuck happened to you!” I groan and turn around, collapsing back onto the couch as Aiden lets himself in. He closes the door behind him and looks around the room, shaking his head and blowing the air out of his nose. “Dominic,” he breathes. “Don’t, Aiden. Please,” I say, closing my eyes and leaning back. “This isn’t you,” he says. I open my eyes to see him sitting on the chair opposite me, studying my face as his eyebrows inch closer and closer together in consternation. “I know,” I reply. My head is still pounding, and I can barely string two words together. “Here,” Aiden says, walking to the kitchen and pouring a glass of water. “Drink this.” I nod in thanks and drain the glass. I empty it in seconds, and Aiden takes the glass from my hands and fills it up again. I drink half of it and

finally take a deep breath. “Thanks,” I say. For the first time this morning, my voice comes out almost normal. Aiden sits down again and looks at me. I sigh and drop my forehead into my hands again. “I don’t know what happened,” I say, looking at the floor. “I read that letter and then we came back and Mara was… I don’t know what she was doing.” Aiden is silent for a few moments and I finally lift my head to look at him. He’s staring out the window, chewing his lip as he thinks. “You really care about her,” he says after a pause. His comment surprises me, and for a few moments I’m not sure what to say. Finally, I take a deep breath and nod. “Yeah,” I answer. “I do. I did, I mean…” I sigh. “Yeah.” He nods and swings his eyes back towards me. “I’m not mad at you for getting involved with her,” he says. My eyebrows shoot up. “No?” I ask. Aiden chuckles. “Alright, maybe I was. But not anymore. I get it,” he says. He smiles sadly and stares out the window again. “She always had this spark, even when we were kids.” “Look, if you don’t want me to –” “Nah,” Aiden cuts me off, shaking his head. “I can’t ask you to stop seeing her. I can’t explain

it,” he says, leaning back in his chair. I take a drink of water and wait for him to continue. “I’ve looked at the McCoys as the enemy for so long. I blamed them for so much. Reading those letters this week…” I snort. “Seems almost anticlimactic for it to all be because of a bad breakup between Dad and Margaret.” Aiden shakes his head and laughs softly. “I can’t imagine the two of them together. But then again, I think about all the times she was over at our place. I thought it was to bring Mara over.” Aiden looks at me, and his look pierces through me. “I thought the whole family was rotten to the core,” he says. “But after reading those letters, I’m not so sure anymore.” “My head is all messed up,” I admit. “I’ve got no idea what the fuck to think.” Aiden chuckles. “Same.” I take another drink of water and lean back on the sofa, resting my head back and closing my eyes. I can feel Aiden’s gaze on me but I don’t look at him. When he speaks, his voice is softer than I’ve ever heard it before. “This isn’t you, Dominic. That smashed up table outside, the drinking…” I take a deep breath and look at my brother. I nod my chin down once. “I know. I couldn’t stand the thought of her with someone else.”

“What are you going to do?” Aiden is staring at me again, and I feel like my answer to this question is important. I wish I had something to tell him. I wish I could say what he wants me to say. I don’t want to be fighting with my brothers. I don’t want to be doubting Mara. I don’t want to be drinking myself to sleep. But as Aiden waits for me to answer, there’s only one thing that comes to my mind. I take a deep breath and shake my head. “I don’t know,” I say. Aiden drops his eyes and nods his head up and down. He looks out the window again and takes a deep breath. “I thought Dad’s death was done ten years ago, but it seems to be getting more and more real every year.” “Who do you think knows about Dad and Margaret?” I ask. Aiden looks at me and shrugs. “You think Tim McCoy knows?” I say in a low voice. My brother shrugs again and we exchange a loaded look. “The more I think about it, the more Tim and Mara did nothing wrong,” Aiden says. “All these years, I’ve blamed them all for Dad’s death and for taking the business. But now…” “It’s all fucked up,” I say. I stand up and

stretch my body. Out of the corner of my eye, I see some shards of wood through the window. I take a few steps and look outside. I glance at Aiden, who has the hint of a smile playing on his lips. “Thought you were in the business of making furniture, not destroying it,” he says as the grin spreads across his face. “Who the fuck knows anymore,” I answer, turning back towards the kitchen and trying to hide my grin. “Like I said, it’s all fucked up now.”

Chapter 32 - Mara

I haven’t slept this badly since I left California. The last bad night’s sleep I had was the night before moving back to Lang Creek. My whole body is aching as I lift myself up and get ready. I tiptoe to the kitchen and pour myself a strong cup of coffee before heading to the office. The renovations are well underway, and even if Dominic stays on board with the job, we have a mountain of work to do in order to finish on time. I can’t think of Dominic right now, or Vincent, or anything. I just want to bury myself in work and feel something other than sadness. I fire up my computer and start working. Soon, my bad night’s sleep is forgotten and I’m completely absorbed in my work. I’m so focused that I don’t hear the door open behind me. It’s not until Vincent’s voice rings in my ears that my spine straightens and I spin around in my chair. He’s standing in the doorway with my mother, wearing a smug grin on his face as he watches me. “Hard at work?” He asks. His eyebrow is

raised in that arrogant smirk that I’ve always despised. I look from him to my mother and back at him. “You’re still here?” I respond. “I don’t want to see you.” “Mara,” my mother says, sashaying through the doorway towards me. “Don’t be like that.” “I’m an adult, Mother. I’ll speak however I want to speak.” Her eyebrows shoot up and she stops in her tracks. She looks taken aback by my words but recovers quickly. “I raised you to be polite,” she chides. “You raised me to be a doormat,” I spit. “Well, not anymore.” “Mara!” “Mrs McCoy,” Vincent interjects. “Please, allow me.” He takes a step in and closes the door. The room immediately feels stuffy. Vincent’s body is blocking the doorway, and my mother is looming just beside me. I try to keep my face still but my heart is hammering against my ribcage. I’m scared. Vincent grabs a chair and turns it towards me. He sits down and crosses one ankle over his knee as he tents his fingers under his chin. He stares at me with those beady eyes, with one side of his mouth curled up in a smirk. How I was ever attracted to him?? “Mara,” he says. I suppress a shiver. Even

the way he says my name disgusts me now. “I’ve been speaking to your mother over the past few weeks.” My eyebrows shoot up and I glance at my mother. Weeks? She ignores me. “We’ve come to an understanding.” “About what?” I snap. Vincent leans back in his chair and almost snarls at me. My mother flutters around and finally leans against the wall beside the door. “About our engagement,” Vincent finally replies. I snort. “What engagement? That was called off a couple months ago, or have you forgotten about that?” “Mara, please,” my mother says. I swing my eyes towards her and feel the anger bubbling up inside me. Is this real life? Are they really in here, telling me to reconsider my engagement with this man? “Mara,” Vincent says. His voice is dark and his eyes are unreadable. A chill goes down my spine and I find myself waiting for him to speak again. “If you want your little boyfriend to have any chance of being successful, you’ll be reasonable.” My blood runs cold and I stare at him, not understanding. “What are you talking about?” “Your mother and I have agreed to renew

our business relationship. But in order to get your father to agree, we need to be a happy couple.” “My mother and you agreed?” I start, staring at him with my mouth wide open. “Am I not a person to you?” I ask, turning to my mother. “Do I not get a say in this?” My blood is pumping and the outrage is boiling inside me. All the resentment and betrayal I felt when my engagement fell apart is coming back to me. Vincent leans back in his chair and smirks. “If you don’t agree, I’ll use every connection I have to make sure that your lover’s little woodworking business gets run into the ground.” I stare at him, opening and closing my mouth as I struggle to find words. Is he threatening me? Why is he doing this? “What are you getting out of this?” “Well, with this hotel approved by the Park, we’ll be able to expand the brand nation-wide. We don’t need another luxury hotel here, but we can have McCoy hotels in every National Park in the country.” My heart sinks and tears start prickling my eyes. “And if I refuse?” “If you refuse,” Vincent replies slowly, “then your career as a designer will be over. The Clarkes will see everything they touch turn to

dust.” “You don’t have that kind of power,” I spit, eyes blazing as I stare at the man I used to love. He grins and I see nothing but evil in his face. “Try me,” he says. My chest is hollow. I look from him to my mother. She’s staring at me, and I see nothing in her eyes. She’s completely devoid of emotion, and for the first time I see her for who she truly is. The loving, friendly woman that she portrays is all an act. She’s nothing but a vindictive, greedy leech on this town. I blink back tears and try to swallow as my throat tightens. I think of Dominic, and the effort that he puts into every piece of furniture he makes. I think of his workshop, impeccably clean. I think of the way that he runs his fingers over a piece of wood with something almost like reverence. He could lose it all. His brothers could lose it all. I try to blink back tears but I can’t. They’re pouring down my cheeks as I think of the man I love losing everything he cares about. I can’t do that to him. I can’t be the reason that once again, the Clarke brothers lose everything. I lift my eyes to Vincent and I swallow the disgust that rises in my throat. Without a word, I nod my head down once. With that, my fate is sealed. I’ve traded my

future for Dominic’s. The tears are pouring down my cheeks and my chest feels like it’s been smashed with a sledgehammer. As much as it hurts, I know it’s the right decision. I’m the reason he lost his father. I’m the reason he lost his father’s business. I can’t be the reason he loses his livelihood. I brush the hot tears away from my cheeks and try to sit up straighter. Vincent puts his hands on his knees and stands up. He looks down at me with that arrogant smirk on his lips. “Good decision,” he says. “You’d better pack now. We leave tomorrow.” “What!” I say, snapping my head up towards him. My mother clears her throat. “You and Vincent will go back to Silicon Valley. I’ll manage the rest of the renovations. Vincent and I have agreed to keep Dominic’s contract in place, as a show of good faith to you.” My jaw is on the floor, and all I can do is look from one of them to the other. A show of good faith? Is she fucking kidding? She thinks she’s doing me a favor? Based on the state of Dominic’s front yard, I’m not even sure he’ll want to keep working for my mother. I open my mouth to speak, but she and Vincent are already out the door. They leave the door open and all I can do is stare after them.

My head is reeling. I feel like I’m falling through space, and I don’t know which direction is up and which is down. Pack your bags, Vincent said to me. I finally turn to the window and look at the mountains that I grew up with. A tear falls down my cheek and I put my head in my hands. I’ve lost everything now. Maybe it’s karma, for causing Mr. Clarke to lose his life. Maybe letting the Clarke brothers live in peace is my atonement, and I deserve all of this. I was kidding myself when I thought I could make it up to them with this business deal. The best way to make it up to them is to leave forever and never come back.

Chapter 33 - Dominic

It takes me half an hour to clean up the destruction in the front yard. I look at the pile of broken timber and sigh, throwing it all into my box of kindling. At least I can make use of the table, even if it is just to burn it. Burning things to ash seems to be my specialty. I cast my eye over the front yard and take a deep breath. It’s clean now, and Mara won’t have to see it like that. My cheeks burn as I think of her. I’ve been acting like a child having a temper tantrum. It’s not like me. I let my emotions get the better of me when what I should be doing is talking to her. I’m not sure if I still have a job, but all I know how to do is work, so I walk towards the workshop. I throw open the big garage door and let the sunlight fill the space. I look at the mountain of half-finished work and put my hands on my hips. I’ve got a lot to do. I get to work, and pretty soon the cobwebs

in my mind have cleared away. With every cut of my saw, every mark of my pencil, and every measurement of my tape, my head is a little bit clearer. Within two hours, I have the frame for a new nightstand built and assembled. Taking a step back, I look at my work and sigh. This is what I should be doing, not drinking and smashing things. I should be working and building things up. I walk over to my mini-fridge and take out a bottle of water, emptying it in one gulp. As I finish it, I hear a car pulling up the drive. I lean against the wall and wait to see who rounds the bend. When I see Margaret McCoy’s car, I start to frown. Is she here to tell me I’m fired? Why isn’t Mara with her? Margaret stops the car outside and gets out. She’s wearing a Jackie-O type suit with perfectly styled hair. Her oversized sunglasses cover most of her face and she smiles at me with her bright red lips. I try not to shiver. I take a few steps towards her and wait for her to speak. “Dominic!” She calls out. I grunt. She takes a deep breath and paints a smile on her face. “I wanted to apologize,” she continues. For what? For cheating on your husband with my father? For stealing his business? “Okay,” I grunt.

“I’ve been an absolute ninny. Your work for the hotel has been exquisite. I hope my reaction hasn’t put you off. I’ve been thinking that maybe this is the perfect way to put all this silliness behind us.” Silliness? I grunt again and she smiles a bit wider. It seems to be a struggle for her to smile hard enough, but I just nod. “So you still want the furniture?” “Of course!” She says with that smile still plastered over her face. “You do such wonderful work. Don’t you think it’s great that our families are able to work together again?” “Yeah,” I reply, not knowing what else to say. She looks at me for a few moments and I see the edges of her smile start to droop. She nods her head and claps her hands together. “Well, that’s settled! I’ll be taking over from Mara when she leaves. If you could send me through a schedule of completion, that would be great.” Alarm bells start to go off in my head. “Mara’s leaving? Where is she going?” “Oh!” Margaret titters. “Of course! You didn’t know!” She laughs again and waves her hands. My heart starts thumping and I just want to tell her to spit it out already. She smiles again and tilts her head to the side. “Mara’s fiancé Vincent

came back! They’re off to Silicon Valley in the morning. Isn’t that wonderful!” I hardly hear what she says. Her voice sounds like it’s coming at me from under water and my vision starts to tunnel. I knew it. I know what I saw. I knew it was him. I’ve been such an idiot! To think that Mara would be with me. To think that she wouldn’t run back to the rich billionaire she’d been engaged to at the first opportunity. Margaret McCoy says something but I don’t hear it. I turn back towards the workshop and vaguely hear her car start. I close the doors and slump down on a chair as I try to process what I’ve just learned. She’s leaving. She’s leaving tomorrow. She’s leaving tomorrow with her fiancé! How could I be so fucking stupid! I can’t believe I thought I meant something to her. The anger from yesterday starts welling up inside me and I try to push it down. My head is spinning. The clarity that I had just a few minutes ago is replaced with a tornado of thoughts. She’s leaving. I can hardly believe it. I finally lift my head and look around the room, trying to understand what’s going on. Did the past few weeks mean

nothing? Why is her mother all of a sudden so nice to me? Why does she still want me to work for her? Why did her fiancé come back? The urge to destroy something bubbles up inside me but I shake my head. I’m not going to turn into that person. I’m not going to let myself get carried away like that again. I’m not going to drink my troubles away and I’m not going to destroy anything else. The workshop feels stuffy. My vision blurs and nausea comes over me like a tidal wave. I throw open the door and rush outside, leaning against the wall as my stomach churns. Bile and acid and alcohol come out out of my stomach as I retch against the workshop. I vomit over and over into the grass until my body calms down and I’m able to stand up. My mouth tastes vile and my eyes are watering, but all I can do is lean against the workshop and breathe in and out. My head is a mess. Mara is leaving. I’m still working for the McCoys. I open my eyes and stare at the blue sky. I let the sunshine warm up my skin and I take a few deep breaths. When I’m able to breathe normally again, my shoulders relax and one clear thought comes to me. Something isn’t adding up.

There’s something about this whole thing that just doesn’t make sense. Something is wrong, but I can’t figure it out. It’s too rushed, too unexpected. Mara couldn’t have been lying to me this whole time, could she? I shake my head. Something isn’t right.

Chapter 34 - Mara

The horror from yesterday has been replaced with numbness. I zip up my suitcase and stand it up, walking to my bedroom door and opening it. At least I didn’t have to share his bed. My father is walking towards the back of the house with a concerned expression on his face. He helps me with my suitcase and turns towards me, searching my face. “Are you sure this is what you want, Mara? It’s all so quick! What’s going on?” A pang goes through my chest when I look into my father’s eyes. I don’t want to lie to him. I don’t want to lie to Dominic. I don’t want to leave, but what can I do? The only way for me to protect Dominic is to do what Vincent and my mother want me to do. I swallow and force a smile onto my face. “I’m sure, Dad.” I open my mouth to say something else, but I can’t think of anything. My father puts his hand on my shoulder and stares into my eyes until I have to look away.

“Mara,” he says softly. “What’s going on?” I force myself to look at him again as I straighten my shoulders. “I’m getting married, Dad. That’s what’s going on.” “Why does it sound like a funeral, then? Mara, does this have anything to do with what you were saying before? About using you? Is there something I don’t know?” I shake my head. “Dad, please. I’m just tired. I was up late packing all my things. This is what I want to do. I want to go with Vincent.” I hope that my voice is convincing. I hope he believes me, and he stops looking at me like that. I hope that I can just leave this town behind me and that the pain in my chest will fade. My father sighs and nods his head. “You know you can talk to me, right? If something is wrong? I know your mother is bull-headed sometimes, but that doesn’t mean you have to change your life for her.” I grimace as I try to smile at my father. “I’m not changing my life for her,” I say. I’m doing it for him. My father nods and takes a deep breath. “Better get going then,” he says. It’s a somber walk from my little room at the back of the hotel to the front lobby. Vincent is there, with his sunglasses on and his hair slicked back. My mother is waiting near the door, and I

pass both of them without saying anything. I walk straight out the door to the waiting car. My father follows with my suitcases, and I help him load all my things up into the trunk. As I’m putting the last of my bags in the car, a truck rumbles down the road. I can almost sense Dominic’s eyes on me, even before I look up to see his vehicle. Our eyes meet as he pulls up in front of the hotel. My mother flutters down the pathway towards him, calling out for help behind her. “Dominic! I wasn’t expecting you until tomorrow! Do you have a delivery already?” “Finished early,” he says, not looking at her. Our eyes are locked on each other. He’s asking me a thousand wordless questions and I can’t do anything except stand there. My heartbeat sounds like a hurricane in my ears, and it feels like the earth has shifted on its axis. I’m off-balance, and all I can do to stay standing is stare at the man I love. Every part of my body is screaming to run to him. I want to wrap my arms around him and kiss him and never let him go. A light breeze ruffles his hair. He stands next to his truck and looks at me as if nothing else in the world exists. If I took three steps, I could be in his arms. I could wrap myself around him and tell Vincent to leave me alone. But what then? Dominic’s career would be ruined. Vincent

might go after Ethan and Aiden as well. I’d be the cause of all their pain once again, just as I was ten years ago. Vincent appears beside me and puts his hand on the small of my back. A shiver of disgust passes through me and I try to step away from him. I shift my gaze to the ground. He urges me towards the car and I let myself be led to the passenger’s side door. It slams closed and I see Dominic in the mirror, standing exactly as he was. He’s staring at the car, and then shifts his gaze to Vincent. I wish I could hear what Vincent says to him, but I can’t. In a few moments, he’s sliding into the driver’s side and the car is rumbling to life. My parents raise their arms in goodbye and I see my father’s eyebrows knit together. He knows something is wrong, but he won’t say it. I blink back the tears that are gathering in my eyes and shift my gaze forward. This is my life now. Vincent turns on the radio and I lean my head against the window. I close my eyes and try to forget the look on Dominic’s face when I got in the car. When we pass the sign on the edge of town that says ‘Thank you for visiting Lang Creek!’, my heart breaks all over again. The sharp pain radiates from my chest to every part of my body until I have to close my eyes and focus on my breathing just to

stop myself from screaming. Vincent reaches over and puts his hand on my thigh. I tense, snapping my head towards him and snarling: “Don’t touch me.”. He raises an eyebrow and takes his hand away, placing it back on the steering wheel. He glances over at me and shakes his head. “You’re going to have to play the loving wife eventually, Mara. This kind of thing won’t fly.” “You’re the Devil,” I say as my voice catches in my throat. “I haven’t done this alone, remember. Your own family sold you out.” He doesn’t look at me when he says it, but I know he’s watching my every reaction. A lump forms in my throat and I try to blink back the tears that are gathering in my eyes. As much as I hate him – as much as I hate to admit it – he’s right. It wasn’t just him. It was my mother too. She’s the reason I’m here. She’s the reason the Clarkes hate us. She’s the reason that I’ve just left the love of my life behind to fend for himself. The further we drive from Lang Creek, the more the horror of my situation starts to set in. I’m going back to Silicon Valley. I’m going back to the land of fake people and fake smiles. I’m going

back to the land of money. Vincent’s world. I glance out the windows at the mountains around us and say a silent farewell.

Chapter 35 - Dominic

I know Mara. I’ve known her my whole life, and I’ve gotten to know her very well over the past few weeks. At least, I think I know her. I know that I’ve never seen her look like that. When that arrogant asshole Vincent touched her, she almost recoiled in disgust. The look on her face was pure despair. I watch them drive away and feel something inside me die. She’s gone. Just like that. No warning, no goodbye, no word from her at all. I shift my gaze to her parents, and for a moment I meet Mr. McCoy’s gaze. His eyebrows are drawn together, and the tip of his nose is bright red. He’s grinding his teeth together as he looks at me, and then he looks back towards the road where Mara disappeared. I watch him tuck his chin into his chest and stomp back into the hotel. Margaret McCoy appears by my side and starts inspecting the furniture I’m delivering. She’s got that fake smile plastered over her face and she says things I don’t

hear. I couldn’t sleep last night, and I stayed up all night finishing the pieces. She nods approvingly and clicks her fingers towards the two waiting hotel workers. My lip lifts in disgust as they jump forward and start unloading the furniture. She doesn’t even treat them like people. I grab a corner and help them load the furniture up into one of the newly renovated rooms. I look around the room at the fresh paint, the hardwood floors and the simple rug that Mara chose. I see her in every detail of the decor – from the wall sconces that she chose to the way the furniture fits perfectly with the style of the hotel. She’s talented. She’s gone. I clear my throat to try to stop myself from tearing up. I help place the new furniture and leave the two hotel workers to their work, going back down to my truck. On the way out, I catch a glance of Tim McCoy in Mara’s office. He’s standing there, looking at her empty desk as if she’s going to appear in front of him. I glance over my shoulder and when I see I’m alone, I walk over towards him. He turns around when I clear my throat. “Dominic,” he says, turning towards me. He extends his hand to shake mine. “I’m so impressed with your work. You’re a true talent.”

“Thank you,” I respond. He clears his throat and avoids my gaze. We stand in front of each other, waiting for the other to speak. Finally, I take a deep breath. “Mara…” My voice trails off and Tim shakes his head. “Something’s not right,” he interrupts. He glances at the door and moves to close it. When we’re alone in the office, he looks out the window and then back to me. “Something’s not right about this whole thing. Mara didn’t want that.” My heart starts thumping as he looks at me. I knew it. I’m simultaneously elated that she didn’t want to go with Vincent, and horrified that she did. “What the fuck is going on, then?” Tim McCoy stares at me for a few long moments. His eyes narrow and he looks into my eyes until I have to force myself to maintain eye contact with him. He finally nods. “It was you, wasn’t it?” “It was me what?” I ask. My heart starts beating a bit harder. “I thought Mara was seeing someone. She was so happy.” He chuckles and shakes his head. “I should have known. Why else would she keep you a secret? She’s always told me everything.” “I…” I look at Tim and finally take a deep breath. “I care about her.” “I can tell. I could tell by the way you

looked at her when she was getting in the car. I’m telling you, Dominic, something isn’t right.” I look at the man that has been on the other side of this stupid feud for ten years, and I remember the letters on Aiden’s kitchen table. How would he react if he knew that his wife had been cheating on him all those years ago? Did he know? When I think of Margaret McCoy’s face when she watched Mara leave, all I feel is disgust. Disgust for her, and disgust for my father for ever having been involved with her. Was she always this evil? What did my father ever see in her? Tim McCoy is staring at me and I take a deep breath. “What do you think is going on?” “I’m not sure, but I’d say my wife has something to do with it. Mara said something to me a few weeks ago. Something funny. She said that we’d sold her off as a bargaining chip in a business deal for the new hotel. I told her she was wrong, but now…” “You think it was Margaret?” Tim’s face scrunches together and he shakes his head. “I don’t think she’d be capable of something like that. She’s always been a good woman. A good wife. A good mother. Why…?” A pang goes through my chest and the words are on the tip of my tongue. I want to tell him

about his wife. I want to tell him about what she did, and why she took our business, but I don’t know how. Tim sighs and shakes his head. “I’ll get to the bottom of this.” He looks up at me and puts a hand on my shoulder. “Dominic, don’t tell anyone about this conversation. Can you do that?” I nod my chin down once. “I won’t. If there’s anything you need… I mean, if Mara is in trouble…” Tim’s lips curl up into a sad smile. “I wish it was you she was running away with. I’ve wanted to bury the hatchet between our two families ever since that business with the trucking company happened. I want you to know –” “Tim, stop,” I interrupt. “It’s okay. There are no hard feelings. Not anymore. Mara…” I take a deep breath. “Mara showed me what kind of person she is. If you have one tenth of the heart that she does, then there’s no need for us to be fighting.” I see Tim swallow and nod his head. His eyes look bright when he looks away. He clears his throat and takes a deep breath before grabbing the office door handle and opening the door. “Right. Well. Let’s get this thing figured out.” We nod at each other and I walk out of the hotel. It’s not until I’m in my truck and driving

back towards my house that I let out a huge sigh. I knew something was wrong. I don’t know what it is yet, or how to fix it, but I do know one thing: Mara didn’t want to leave with Vincent. That thought carries me all the way home. She didn’t want to leave with Vincent. She wanted to stay with me. Whatever it was that was pushing her to leave, I’m going to figure it out. Something inside me wakes up. It’s the familiar anger that carried me through the past ten years. It’s the anger that led me to light the new hotel on fire and burn it to the ground. It’s the anger that Mara started to mend. I don’t want to be an angry person, but right now I can use that anger for good. I can get Mara back.

Chapter 36 - Mara

Everything reminds me of Dominic. As we drive through the forest, I remember how he used to hold my hand as we walked through the trees. I remember the way he always smelled like fresh pine and sawdust after a day of work. When we board the plane, I think about how big he would have looked in the tiny airplane seats. When Vincent grabs my hand with his cold, clammy fingers, I think of the way Dominic was always warm and gentle with me. When I look at Vincent, all I feel is disgust. He doesn’t see me as a person. He sees me as a ticket to expanding his empire. What happens when he doesn’t need me anymore, I wonder? What happens when the contracts are signed and the new hotels are built? What happens when he’s made all the money he can make from our union? He’ll toss me aside like a piece of trash and move on to his next victim. I know he will. Did my mother think of that? Did she think of anything except herself and her bank account? We drive up to the luxurious estate that I

used to call home. The tall, wrought-iron gates open and our black sedan glides through. The estate feels more like a prison than a home. We make our way up the winding drive towards the big driveway loop in front of the house and I see the huge gaudy fountain in the center of the circle. I take a deep breath and try to contain my disgust. Everything about this house – everything I used to love and be in awe of – it’s so ugly now. I miss Lang Creek. I miss the fresh air and the wind in my hair. I miss the calming presence of the mountains around me and the smell of pine trees and fresh air. I miss Dominic. Every time I think of him, a hot dagger passes through my heart. The black sedan stops in front of the steps and I open the door, stretching my body as I stand up and look at my new prison. Vincent circles around the car and hops up the steps. “Will is coming out to help you with your bags. I’ll be in my office. Don’t bother me with anything,” he says without looking at me. He disappears through the tall wood-paneled front door and suddenly I’m alone again. I turn away from the house and can see glimpses of the tall black fence that surrounds the property. How did this place never feel like a prison before?

“Hi, Miss McCoy,” the concierge calls out. I turn to see him and smile at the familiar face. “I wasn’t expecting to see you back here.” I chuckle. “I wasn’t expecting to be back, Will. Thanks,” I say as he starts unloading my bags. “How are the kids?” “They’re great! Melissa just started kindergarten and I can’t believe it. They’re growing up so fast.” A pang passes through my heart when I see his eyes shining. I know that’s something I’ll never have now. His happiness when he talks about his wife and kids is so obvious. I hate how jealous I am. The rest of the day is a blur. The house, the staff, the neighbors – they’re all familiar, but somehow I feel like a stranger. I feel like I’ve changed. Maybe I can finally see it for what it is: empty and fake. I eat dinner alone and then watch TV alone. I go on my phone and scroll through social media and the boredom starts to creep in. As I toss my phone aside with a sigh, it dings. I look at the screen and my heart starts thumping. Dominic’s name flashes across it. I look around the room to make sure I’m alone. “You okay?”

There’s that question again. I stare at the two words on the screen for a minute before taking a deep breath. Somehow it seems more real when it’s coming from Dominic. You okay? I read it and re-read it over and over and over. What am I supposed to answer? No, I’m not okay. I’m far from okay. I miss you. I love you. Or maybe I can lie. I’m fine. I could tell him not to contact me. I could ignore him. My fingers hover over my phone as I read those two little words over and over. I hear a door open and close down the hall and my head snaps around. I’m still alone. I look back at my phone and feel my heart drop. I know what I have to do. I can’t talk to him, or maintain any kind of relationship with him. My heart breaks all over again when I start typing a response. My fingers are trembling and my eyes blur as the tears start to fill them. “Please don’t contact me again. Good luck with the furniture, I wish you the best.” My fingers are shaking so much I can’t press send right away. I put my phone down and let the tears flow down my cheeks. I jump when my phone buzzes again. It’s a picture from Dominic.

“Made you this:” I start laughing through my tears when I see the little cup full of pens, carved out of a piece of wood. I think of that day in my room, when he knocked over all my pens and pencils. It was the first time I saw that glimmer of humor in his eye. It was the first time I saw the real him. I stare at the picture and a warmth passes through my heart. It starts beating again and it feels like I’m alive for the first time since Vincent appeared in Lang Creek. I erase my message and type a new one. “I love it.” I press send and hold my phone to my chest. I close my eyes and let the tears flow down my cheeks. I know I shouldn’t talk to him. I should delete his number. But when I look back at the photo of the wooden cup full of pens, I feel more love from Dominic than I’ve ever felt from Vincent. Dominic sends me another message. “Post office is closed. You’ll have to come get it yourself.” My chest squeezes and my hands start trembling all over again. I glance over my shoulder

one more time and type out a quick response. “I wish I could.” I exit out of the text and delete it in a couple taps. I scroll through my phone and find Dominic’s number, deleting it from my contacts. My heart is thumping and I know I shouldn’t be talking to him. I shouldn’t be encouraging him. But my God, it feels good.

Chapter 37 - Dominic

“I wish I could.” I read the words over and over as I lie back in bed. That means that she’s there against her will. It means they’re holding something over her. It means her father is right. I jump out of bed and pull on my pants and jacket. I don’t bother tying my shoes – I just pull them on and rush out the door. My truck rumbles to life, and I peel out of the driveway and turn off towards the mountains. I drive faster than I should down the highway towards my brother’s house. When I make it to the big house, nestled on the side of the mountain, the porch light comes on and Aiden opens the door to greet me. “Dominic! What are you doing here so late?” “I need your help.” My brother stares at me as I walk towards him. His eyes search my face and I can imagine what he sees. I’m sure my clothes are disheveled and my hair is all over the place. I can imagine the

look in my eyes. He looks at me for a few moments and nods his head. “Come in.” We walk to the kitchen in silence. “Coffee?” “Sure,” I answer. I slump down onto a chair as he makes a pot of coffee. He places a mug in front of me, and then takes one for himself before sitting down across from me. “What’s going on?” I take a deep breath. “Mara’s gone.” Aiden frowns. “Gone?” I nod. “Gone. She left with her ex this morning.” “Fuck…” I shake my head. “No, it’s not like that. Something’s wrong. Look,” I pull out my phone and show him the messages. He reads through them and frowns. “Dominic,” he starts. “I don’t want you to get your hopes up. This isn’t…” “No,” I interrupt. “You should have seen her when she was leaving. It was like someone died. Tim McCoy pulled me aside and said he thought something was going on. And now she’s saying she wishes she could leave? Something is wrong. Something is really wrong.” Aiden takes a deep breath and reads the

messages again. He takes a sip of coffee and places the mug back down. Finally, he lifts his eyes to mine and shrugs. “What do you want to do? What can you do? What can I do?” “Give me the letters,” I say. Aiden’s eyes widen and he shakes his head. “No.” “Aiden! It’s the only way. I’ll bring them to Tim. He’ll see his wife for who she is and then we can confront her. We can figure this thing out!” “You want us to drag Dad’s memory through the dirt? You want the whole town to know he was having an affair with a married woman? I can’t do that to him!” “He did it, Aiden! He did it to himself!” Aiden stares at me and shakes his head. “I can’t do it. It would start this feud all over again.” “Aiden,” I start. I can feel my throat closing and my eyes watering. I’m begging my brother with my eyes as I put my palms flat on the table. I swallow and take a deep breath. “Aiden, I love her,” I finally say. Aiden says nothing, he just looks at me. “I love her, and she’s been taken away from me. Dad… Dad would understand.” Aiden’s face scrunches and he looks at the floor. I can see the turmoil inside him as he shakes his head. He looks up at me and the depth of his

pain is visible in his eyes. His voice comes out as a whisper. “I can’t, Dominic. I can’t put his dirty laundry on display like that. What would people think of him? What would people think of us?” “Give him the letters,” says a voice behind me. The two of us jump and turn to see Aiden’s wife, Madeline, in the doorway. She’s holding her dressing gown closed and has sleep in her eyes. She’s staring at Aiden and they exchange a wordless glance. “Give him the letters, Aiden,” she says again, more softly this time. “Your father has been gone for ten years, and you have a chance to do something good. You have a chance to fix this silly feud once and for all. Isn’t that worth it? Isn’t that what he would have wanted?” Aiden’s eyebrows are drawn together and it looks like he’s about to start sobbing. He’s wringing his hands and taking deep breaths. Madeline takes a few steps towards him and puts her hands on his shoulders. When she touches him, he crumples. A huge sob rakes through his body and Maddy wraps her arms around him, whispering in his ear. He lifts his hand to hers and takes deep breaths as she calms him down. I watch them and my heart breaks. I want that. I want a woman who knows me inside and

out. I want a woman who can point me in the right direction and help me make difficult decisions. I want Mara. Aiden finally lifts his eyes to mine and dips his chin down. “Okay,” he relents. “I’ll give you the letters.” My chest squeezes and I nod to my brother. “Thank you,” I answer. When he hands me the stack of letters, he puts his hand on my shoulder and looks me straight in the eye. “I hope this works,” he says. I snort and shake my head. “So do I, Aiden. So do I.” He nods his head and steps aside as Maddy wraps her arms around me. “Thank you,” I whisper in her ear as she gives me a hug. She pulls away and smiles at me. “Get her back, Dominic. She’s worth it.” My throat tightens and I look at the stack of papers in my hand. This is the key. I know it is. This will convince Tim to look at his wife differently. This will convince him that Mara is in real trouble, and she’s doing something against her will. I don’t know why. I don’t know what they’re holding over her, but I’ll die before I let her be taken away from me.

Chapter 38 - Mara

The guest bedroom in Vincent’s house is bigger than our biggest suite at the hotel back home. I wake up in the plush, comfortable bed and all I can think is that I’d rather be in Dominic’s tiny cabin. I roll over and look out the window, seeing the bright California sunshine already streaming through the windows. With a groan, I sit up and rub the sleep from my eyes. My stomach growls and I take a deep breath, getting up and tiptoeing down the stairs towards the kitchen. Vincent’s office door is ajar, and as I’m walking up to it, I overhear a snippet of his conversation. “… no, no, that’s fine. Just take him off the list of approved suppliers for the other hotels. We’ll let him finish out this contract. Yep, with an ‘e’. C-L-A-R-K-E. Thanks.” My blood runs cold and I strain my ears to hear more, taking another step closer to the door. I jump when it swings open. “Oh! Vincent! Hi! Good morning!” I stutter, taking a step backwards and trying to regain

my composure. He’s already dressed in a full suit with his hair slicked back, and he looks me up and down before glancing at his watch. My cheeks start to burn as I think of my dressing gown and unwashed hair. I’m not used to being dressed to the nines all the time. “There’s coffee in the kitchen,” he says before glancing at me. “You got any plans today?” I stifle a scoff, and then try to shrug casually. “Might go see the girls,” I answer vaguely. He nods and closes his office door before heading off towards the front of the house. “I’ll see you tonight. Don’t wait for me for dinner.” He walks away without looking back and I try to ignore the sting in my chest. I hear the front door open and close, and I duck into the front room to see him driving away. Once he’s out of view, I walk back towards the office and glance up and down the hallway. I put my hand on the doorknob as my heart starts thumping against my ribcage. My mouth has gone dry and I close my eyes for an instant before turning the knob. Locked. “Shit,” I say under my breath. “Looking for something?” I jump at the sound of Will’s voice and turn to see him in the hallway. My hand flies to my chest and I laugh nervously. “Will! You scared me,” I say as the flush

creeps into my cheeks. I pat my hair and tuck it behind my ears before glancing at the door again. “I was just, uh… Vincent asked me to sign some papers for the engagement. He said they were in his office, so I assumed it would be unlocked.” I’m so bad at lying, I’m sure Will is going to call me out right away. Instead, he nods his head and pulls out a set of keys. “The boss has started locking it lately, I’m not sure why. I think he’s forgotten I still have the key,” he says, sliding the key into the lock and turning it smoothly. “Just let me know when you’re done. I’ll lock it back up.” I nod and slip into the office, closing the door behind me. I take a moment to lean against the door with my eyes closed, taking a deep breath to calm my nerves. That was close. What happens if Will tells Vincent? What will I say? I shake my head and focus on the huge oak desk that looms in front of me. I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. I walk behind the desk and flip open the laptop. It’s password protected, obviously. I hover my hands over the keyboard and sigh. I’d have no idea what his password is. Instead, I flip open a manila folder that’s laying to the side of the computer. I frown when I see the papers inside. “This is my application,” I whisper to

myself. I flip through the pages and see my application to the Parks, and the signed page that recognizes my parent’s hotel as official accommodation. I frown, staring at the approval. I didn’t know this had come through! I look at the date and my eyebrows shoot up. It’s dated a week before Vincent appeared in Lang Creek. He moves fast. I flip through the papers and see a duplicate of my application. My heart starts thumping when I look at the proposal. Vincent wants to build half a dozen more hotels, and he wants to use my family’s name. I turn the pages over until one pages catches my eye. It’s got a red pen mark through one line. The top of it reads “Approved Suppliers List”, and the name that’s crossed off is near the bottom of the list: Dominic Clarke, Furniture Maker. “You motherfucker,” I breathe. The anger starts coiling inside me and my heart starts to beat faster. My hands are trembling as I close the folder back up and shut the laptop screen down. I slip out of the room to see Will waiting outside. “Found what you were looking for?” He asks cheerily. I force a smile. “Yep!” I head off towards the kitchen as my head fills with questions. Even though I’m here, and I’ve done everything they asked – even giving up my

relationship with Dominic – they’re still going to fuck him over! They’re still going to remove his name from the approved supplier list which means he won’t have an uptick in business. The whole reason he agreed to do this was to grow his business, and now that reason is gone. They lied to me. Vincent, my mother – they both lied through their teeth. They told me his business would be safe, and now they’re doing everything they can to cut it down. I’m furious now. My cheeks are burning and my hands are shaking so hard I can’t even pour myself a cup of coffee. I take a deep breath and try again, but all I can think of is Dominic. I can deal with betrayal when I’m the victim. As painful as it is, I can deal with my mother using me. I can deal with having a loveless marriage to a man I despise, if it means that Dominic gets to live a good life. But now? He doesn’t even get that. He gets nothing. It’s not even anger anymore – it’s fury. I’ve never felt like this before. My whole body feels like it’s vibrating and all I can see is Vincent’s snarling face. I forget about the coffee and stalk back down the hallway. “Will!” I call out. “Will!” His head appears around the corner. “Give me your keys,” I say before he can speak. “The car keys.”

“Miss McCoy, I’m not supposed to –” “Give. Me. The. Keys.” I say. I stare him straight in the eye and he takes a step back before nodding his head once. He pulls out his car keys and drops them in my hand. I head off towards the front door when he clears his throat. “Are you…” he pauses. “Should you get dressed?” “Who the fuck am I trying to impress?” I ask. His eyes widen for a moment and a wave of understanding washes over him. He nods his head and I turn towards the black sedan parked in front of the house. This has gone far enough.

Chapter 39 - Dominic

I thought I’d go straight to Tim McCoy from Aiden’s last night, but when I drove into town my resolve wavered. Now I’m drinking my third cup of coffee as I stare at the stack of letters. What if he doesn’t believe me? What if he already knows? What if he forgives her? The more I think about this, the less certain I am. The more it seems like I’m destined to fail. What am I trying to do anyways? I have to convince Tim to turn against his wife, and somehow figure out what’s going on with Mara. Then, if I’m able to do all that, I have to get Mara back. What if she doesn’t want to come back? I shake my head and pull out my phone again. I read her text over and over until I’m sure she’s there against her will. She doesn’t want to be there. I know her. I saw it in her eyes when she left. I saw it in the way she recoiled when Vincent touched her. I can see it in her text. This isn’t her choice.

I push my mug aside and stand up. I tuck the stack of letters under my arm and stalk out the front door. I swing myself into the cab of my truck and start the engine, peeling down the driveway towards Main Street. I can hardly hear the sound of the engine over the beating of my heart. I’m staring through a tunnel, and all I can see is the McCoy hotel at the end of the road. I glance at the passenger’s seat at the letters, and I try to think of what I’m going to say. Mr. McCoy, I… Tim, I have something to tell you. Tim, is there somewhere we can talk? My breath is shallow and my vision is blurry around the edges. I pull up outside the hotel and jump out of the car, grabbing the papers and tucking them under my arm once again. I walk up the pathway towards the hotel’s main entrance and push the door open. I breathe a sigh of relief when no one is at the front desk. My eyes scan the room, and I wonder where Tim McCoy could be. I turn down the hallway towards the office where we spoke. My hand is trembling when I lift it to knock on the door. With one more deep breath, I rap my knuckles against the wooden panels of the door and wait for a response. I look up and down the hallway, praying that Margaret McCoy doesn’t appear around the corner.

I knock again. Nothing. My shoulders slump, and I turn away from the door when a voice calls out behind me. “Can I help you with anything?” I turn to see one of the housekeepers. I know her. We went to school together. I know pretty much everyone in this town. “Katie!” I call out, trying to sound casual. “I’m looking for Tim McCoy.” “Huh,” she replies with a smile and a frown. “Okay.” She smiles at me and motions down towards the lobby. “He and Mrs. McCoy are having their breakfast in the dining room. I can show you the way.” “No!” Her eyebrows jump up and I take a deep breath. I try to control my voice. “I can’t…” I pause, looking at Katie. “Can you get him for me? It has to be him. Only him.” She frowns slightly but nods her head. “Are you okay, Dominic?” “I’m fine. Please, Katie. Can you get him for me?” She stares at me for a few moments and then nods her head. “Wait in here,” she says, pulling out a key ring and opening the office door. “I’ll be back.” “Thank you,” I tell her. She looks at me for

a long moment and after a pause, her lips curl up into a smile. “You and Mara seem really happy together. I’m rooting for you.” I open my mouth and close it again. I shake my head. “What are you talking about?” She laughs. “Come on, Dominic. It’s a small town. Everyone knows. You guys seemed really happy, and I hope it works out. I saw her when she was leaving.” “Do you know what happened?” She shakes her head. “Not really. I overheard Margaret threatening her with something, but I couldn’t make out what it was.” She looks at me and smiles. “I’ll get Tim. Wait here.” She closes the door gently and I slump into a chair, laying the stack of letters on my lap and putting my head in my hands. The whole town knows?? I sigh and shake my head. Of course they do. Who were we kidding? Ethan could tell I was attracted to her the very first time I saw her at Harold’s bar. I remember the way my arm felt when she touched it, and the way every look she gave me sent a thrill down through my stomach. I close my eyes and think of that smile of hers. I’m lost in my thoughts when the door opens. I jump up and catch the stack of letters as

they start to fall off my lap. “Dominic!” Tim says in a hushed voice as he closes the office door. “What’s all this about?” Suddenly, I’m at a loss for words. I look at this man and see kindness in his eyes, and I hesitate. Do I really want to ruin his marriage? He doesn’t give me a chance to change my mind. His eyes shift to the stack of letters and he frowns. “What are those? Is that… is that Margaret’s handwriting?” I glance at the stack of letters and take a deep breath. “Tim, I… Mr. McCoy,” I start, my voice catching in my throat. “I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this…” “Spit it out, son,” he says. His upper lip is trembling and the sides of his forehead are starting to get red. I feel the tension in his body from where I sit. I stand up and show him the stack of letters. “Aiden found these when he was cleaning out the attic at our old house,” I explain. “They’re… They’re addressed to my father. From Margaret.” Tim’s mouth opens as he looks at the letters. “There are dozens of them!” I nod. “I’m sorry, Tim.” I take the top letter off the stack and hand it to him. “This was the last letter. I think…” I pause

again, swallowing. “My brothers and I think that it was the reason that Margaret took such a… uh… disliking to us.” Tim McCoy grabs the letter and opens it up. The blood drains from his face as he reads through the letter, and then he slumps down into a chair. He puts his head in his hand and shakes his head. “This…” His voice trails off and he looks at the paper again. “I’ve been faithful all these years, and…” “I had no idea,” I say, sitting down across from him. “None of us did.” He looks up at me, his eyes suddenly clear. “So her insistence on buying the trucking business… Her ridiculous hatred of you and your brothers… All if it…?” I shrug. “It looks like it was because of this,” I say, motioning to the letter. “Because my father broke it off. I don’t know how it’s related to Mara, but I can’t help but think…” My voice trails off and I struggle to find the words the express myself. He shakes his head over and over until a lump forms in my throat. I shouldn’t have done this. His face scrunches up and he keeps shaking his head back and forth, back and forth. I watch him slowly crumble in front of me until tears start streaming from his eyes. A pain goes through my chest as I watch him.

I shouldn’t have done this. I should have found another way. We both jump when the door opens. Margaret appears in the doorway. Tim stands up. He pulls his shoulders back and stares at her with fire in his eyes. “You heartless bitch,” he growls. I tense, staying immobile in my chair. Margaret’s eyes swing from him, to me, to the letters. She goes pale, grabbing the door jamb for support before her eyes go dark and her mouth purses into a thin line. “So now you know,” she snarls. “Well, it only took you ten years to put it together.” “What else have you lied about? Why did Mara leave?” “Oh, grow up,” she spits. “You should be thanking me for providing you with all this,” she says, sweeping her arm in a wide circle. “Without me you’d be broke and alone.” “Where is my daughter,” Tim growls. “She’s where she belongs, with her fiancé.” Her black eyes swing to me, and her lip curls into a snarl. “I’d rather die than let her date a Clarke.” I stand up. Despite herself, she takes a step backwards. She looks so tiny next to my huge, sixfoot-four frame, but she squares her shoulders. “Where is she,” I growl. Her face relaxes and she smiles. A shiver passes down my spine.

“I told you: she’s with her fiancé. I gave her the choice: you, or him. She chose him.” “I don’t believe you,” I growl. I take another step towards her but this time Margaret stands her ground. “Leave us,” Tim says. I turn back to look at him, but his eyes are locked on his wife. He waves his hand at me. “Leave us,” he repeats. “I’ll be in touch.” Something in his voice leaves no space for argument. I glance at the two of them before stalking out the door without looking back.

Chapter 40 - Mara

My knuckles are white as I grip the steering wheel. My slippers are sliding on the pedals and it takes all my concentration to stay on the road. I can’t think of anything except the burning anger in the pit of my stomach. I’ve never been this angry. It’s almost like an out-of-body experience. All I can do is ride the wave of fury as I drive down the road. My vision is glued on the pavement in front of me. The car is powerful, and every time my foot sinks on the pedal, it accelerates forward. I breathe in and out through my nose as I press the accelerator down a fraction further. My mother and Vincent used me. They used me to get my father to sign an agreement passing on the business to me and my future husband. They promised to take care of Dominic, but they lied. The pain of that lie is like a dagger in the back. I could live with my guilt. I could tell myself that I was making up for the accident ten years ago, and I was giving Dominic another chance at a good life. I could have watched from a distance as he

moved on from me, and used the rest of my life as a chance to atone. If Dominic had been able to have a good life, it would have been worth it. But now, all of that is gone. I’ve got nothing. I’ve lost the man that I love, I’ve lost my trust in my family, and I’m engaged to a man that I despise. The only reason I had to stay with him is gone. I’ve got nothing. Nothing, except black anger in my heart and a taste for blood in my mouth. I turn onto the highway towards the city center where Vincent works. I the tall buildings in the distance and my heart fills with fury. I hate his slicked-back hair. I hate his perfectly tailored suits. I hate his gaudy house, and his expensive tastes. I hate the fountain in the front yard, and the wide marble steps. I hate his greed, and his heartlessness. I see him for what he is now. He’s a mercenary. He preyed on me, he preyed on my mother and father, and now it’s gone too far. I won’t let him prey on Dominic and his brothers too. I grip the steering wheel a little bit harder as I press my foot down on the accelerator. My slipper starts to slide off the pedal and I adjust my foot, pressing it down a bit harder. The black sedan responds, and soon I’m racing down the freeway

towards Vincent. I don’t even know what I’m going to say. I’ll tell him I know. I’ll tell Vincent that I’m telling my father about it all – that he’ll never agree to anything. I’ll tell him the deal is off. It might make me look like a crazy person. They’ll talk about me for months. I’ll be the crazy ex-fiancée who showed up in her pyjamas and started screaming in the office, but I don’t care. All I care about is Dominic. I tried to protect him but once again all I’ve done is hurt him. I can’t let that happen again. My foot presses down a little bit harder but this time the slipper slides off. I try to get my foot back up, but my slipper jams itself under the brake pedal. I’m going too fast. The car swerves and I try to regain control. My heart jumps in my chest and my eyes widen as I feel the car slip out of my control. I try to grip the steering wheel and mash the pedals, but the back is fishtailing behind me. I can’t brake, and soon the back of the car is spinning around out of control. Maybe I scream, or maybe I’m stuck in silent shock. I can’t be sure. My heart is thumping and my body is rigid as the car spins. What they say in the movies is true: everything does slow down when you’re about to

die. I can see a pickup truck’s shiny chrome grille coming straight towards my windshield. The driver’s honking his horn, but it sounds elongated and far-away to my ears. My whole body goes limp as I watch the front of my car crumple in a split-second that lasts an eternity. Soon, everything will be over. I close my eyes and wait for it to end, and all I see is Dominic. I melt into my seat. I think of the man I love as the truck crashes into me, and my world goes dark.

Chapter 41 - Dominic

I throw a few clothes into a bag and toss it into my truck. I’ll book a flight at the airport. I can’t wait for Tim and Margaret to work things out. I have to see Mara now. I haven’t heard from her since that text, and Margaret’s reaction convinced me that something else is going on. She’s holding something over Mara’s head, and I need to find out what that thing is. I need to see her. I need to hear it from her lips that she’s choosing Vincent over me. If she isn’t, then I want to wrap my arms around her and cover her in kisses. I never want to let her go again. As I drive down the highway, I turn off the radio and try to make sense of my thoughts. Mara told me that her parents used her in the business deal for the hotel that burned down. What’s stopping them from doing it again? But, the thing is, in order for her to go back to Vincent, she’d have to be forced. They’d have to be threatening her with

something – even Katie said so. What could they possibly threaten her with? What would be so important that she would leave everything behind, including me? My head hurts as I try to figure it out. I take long, deep breaths as I make the three-hour drive to the nearest airport. I know she wants to be with me. I cling on to that text for dear life. “I wish I could.” She wants to be with me. The sun is going down, and I drive in silence. I’m not even sure where Mara lives. I don’t even know if there are flights tonight. All I know is that I’m going to the airport, and nothing can stop me. My phone rings and I see Tim McCoy’s name pop up. I hit answer and put him on speakerphone. “Tim, I need Mara’s address. I’m going to California.” “I… What?” “Text me her address.” “Dominic… Okay. I’ll send it over.” “Do you know what’s going on?” “They threatened her,” he says in a low voice. I nod as I drive down the highway.

“Dominic,” he continues, “They threatened to put your business on the black list. That’s why she agreed to go with Vincent.” “What? What do you mean?” I ask. My heart drops to my stomach and I struggle to understand what he’s talking about. I hear Tim McCoy take a deep breath. “They needed my approval to pass the business on to her and her husband. That arrogant ass, Vincent.” I can hear the venom in his voice as he says Vincent’s name. “So they told her they’d drag your name through the mud.” My heart starts thumping. I try to speak but my voice barely comes out “And she agreed?” “She did,” Tim says. “Dominic, she loves you, you know.” I try to answer, but I can’t. I nod my head as if he can see me, and finally he speaks again. “I’ll send you that address.” He sighs. “Thank you.” “No, thank you, Tim,” I finally manage to say. The phone clicks and I put it down on the passenger’s seat. I grip the steering wheel and blink my eyes until they clear. She loves me. She did this for me? I can hardly believe it. She’d put herself in that position… she would actually marry a man that doesn’t love her, and give him the family

business? She would do that just so I would be able to continue making furniture? I feel grateful and ashamed at the same time. I don’t deserve this. My ears are burning and my heart is thumping as I try to keep my eyes focused on the road. My phone buzzes and I see Tim’s name pop up with an address. I glance at it and take a deep breath. I’m coming, Mara. The rest of the drive seems to take an eternity. After a few more miles, I turn on the radio to try to drown out my thoughts. I’ve never been more sure of any decision. I know I need to go and see her. I think of Vincent’s weasel face and the anger starts to flood my veins. If he happens to get punched in the nose, then so be it. When I get to the airport, it’s late at night. I walk up to the counter and take a deep breath. “I need a flight to San Francisco,” I tell the lady behind the desk. She looks at me and raises her eyebrows before tapping on her computer. “I’m sorry sir. There aren’t any flights until tomorrow morning. The earliest I can get you there is 8:00am, San Fran time.” “That’s fine. Here’s my card,” I say as I hand her my credit card. She nods as if this is the

most normal thing in the world. Within a few minutes, she’s printing my ticket. “Can I book a car from here as well?” I ask. “The counter over there will be able to help you,” she says as she hands me a boarding pass. I nod in thanks and take the ticket, walking over to the desk. Once everything is organized, I check the time. I have five and a half hours before the flight leaves, so I might as well try to get some sleep. I find a row of seats and lay down, trying to fit my huge body on the tiny chairs. It only takes a few minutes for the sleep to make my eyelids heavy. In a few hours, I’ll be seeing Mara in person and I can tell her everything that I want to tell her. I’ll tell her I love her. I’ll tell her to come back to me. I’ll tell her I don’t care about the business, that all I want is her. I’ll tell her everything in my heart and I’ll never let her go. When I drift off to sleep in the airport waiting lounge, I can hear her laugh. I can smell her perfume and I can see her smile painted on my eyelids. My heart slows down and I finally feel like things will be okay.

Chapter 42 - Dominic

The flight is uneventful. It takes just over four hours, but it feels like an eternity. My whole body is aching from the uncomfortable sleep and the tiny airplane seats, and I feel like I’ve aged ten years overnight. As the wheels touch down, I look out the window and a wave of nervousness washes over me. I’ve never done anything like this. When I file off the plane with my carry-on bag, the nervousness fades away. By the time I’m getting into the rental car, I’m focused and ready. As I drive towards Mara’s address, my heart starts to beat a little bit faster. It’s not the angry, outraged heartbeat that I had yesterday. It feels like it’s beating for her – like the only reason for me to be here is to tell her everything that’s in my heart. The GPS in the rental car guides me until the houses get bigger and the gates get higher. I frown as I look at these mansions, stuck together with no room to breathe. My cabin back home is one tenth of the size of these places, but I have all of the

Adirondacks as my backyard. I wouldn’t trade that for anything. The voice on the GPS tells me that my destination is on the right, and I look at the tall black wrought-iron gate leading up to a big house. I pull up to the gate and press the buzzer. “Yes?” Says a voice on the other side. “I’m here to see Mara McCoy,” I say. There’s a pause, and then the voice comes back. “She’s not here right now.” “Where is she?” I answer. My eyebrows knit together and I check the address. It’s definitely the right house, but where else would she be? It’s not even ten o’clock yet. The voice doesn’t answer. Instead, the black gate swings open and I drive through. I try not to let the intimidation overwhelm me as I drive up to the house. Did Mara do this for me? Or did she really want to live here? It’s huge and luxurious, and she’d obviously be living a life of wealth that I’d never be able to provide for her. I shake my head and ignore those niggling thoughts. I stop the car in front of the wide front steps. As I get out, the front door opens and a man appears. It’s not Vincent, and he’s wearing a crisp white suit with black pants. “I’m William,” he says. “You’re here to see Miss McCoy? Is she expecting you?” “I, uh… No,” I answer. I suddenly feel

foolish. I’m wearing a flannel plaid shirt and old jeans, and I haven’t shaved my beard in days. I don’t belong here. William nods to me and motions for me to come in. I climb the steps and swallow as I cross the threshold and enter the huge house. He leads me to a room off to the side and I sit down on an expensive-looking leather chair. “Would you like something to drink?” “I’m fine,” I snap. “Where’s Mara?” William chews his lip and glances out the window. “I… I’m not sure, sir.” I frown. “You’re not sure? What do you mean, ’you’re not sure’.” “If you leave your name, I can tell either Miss McCoy or Mr –” “How long has she been gone?” “Since yesterday,” he answers. My eyes widen and my heart drops to my stomach. I pull out my phone and dial her number. It goes straight to voicemail and I look at William. “Where the fuck is she!” Something is wrong. I can feel it. I can tell by the way William is staring at the ground and shifting his weight from foot to foot. “Tell me goddamn it! Where is she?” “She left yesterday morning. She seemed… upset.” I take a step towards him. My mouth is dry

and my heart is beating hard. “Tell me where she is,” I say in a low voice. Suddenly William looks scared. He shakes his head. “I don’t know,” he whispers. “She took the car.” My phone rings and I rush to pick it up. It’s Tim McCoy, and when I answer I already know something is wrong. “Dominic,” he says, breathless. “Are you in California?” “I can’t find her, Tim. She’s not at home and they don’t know where she is.” “There’s been an accident,” he says as his voice cracks. “She’s in the hospital.” “What!” I yell, glancing at William. “They just identified her and called me as her emergency contact. I’ll send you the hospital name.” “I’m on my way.” I brush past William and rush out the door. I plug the address that Tim sends into the GPS and rush to turn on the engine. My tires squeal as I accelerate back down the driveway. I curse as the gate swings open all too slowly, and finally turn off and leave that awful mansion behind me. My mouth is dry. My knuckles are white as I grip the steering wheel. My heart is thumping and all I can hear is Tim’s voice. There’s been an accident.

I should never have let her go. If she hadn’t come here – if she’d have just talked to me, or talked to her father – this wouldn’t have happened. If I hadn’t spent the evening smashing up that nightstand and drinking myself to sleep, I could have found her and spoken to her. I drive as fast as I can along the blue line on the GPS until I get to the hospital. I rush to the reception and ask for her. I’m led along winding hallways until I cross swinging doors with three awful words above them: Intensive Care Unit. She’s in the ICU. My heart drops and I try to hold back my panic. It’s not until I see her laying in the hospital bed that I let myself sob. There are tubes sticking out of her mouth, her arms, her stomach. She’s got bandages on her head and her leg is in a cast. There are machines beeping and nurses milling around. Her eyes are closed, and I grab her hand as I sit in yet another uncomfortable chair. I put my forehead down on her hand and let the tears flow from my eyes. They soak the blue blanket on the hospital bed and I just sit there and sob until my eyes run dry. A nurse puts her hand on my shoulder and I look up through tear-filled eyes. “Is she going to be okay?” I manage to say. The nurse swallows and her lips purse into a thin line. “She’s in critical condition,” she answers.

“We’ll know more in a few hours.” “Please,” I beg. “Please, just tell me she’ll be okay.” The nurse nods. “We’re doing everything we can.” She squeezes my shoulder and I turn back to Mara, stroking her hand and letting the tears fall from my eyes.

Chapter 43 - Mara

I wake up to the sound of heated voices. “She’s my fiancée! Get this man out of here!” “Sir, please calm down.” “He has no right to be here!” I frown as I try to understand why that voice is bothering me. I try to remember who it belongs to, and why I don’t want to hear it. I try to open my eyes, but I can’t get them to open. It’s like my body doesn’t belong to me anymore. I hear that voice again and it sends fear radiating through my chest. “Get him out of here!” “Sir, please calm down, or we’ll have to remove both of you.” “She never wanted to be with you, you bastard,” another voice says. My heart starts beating faster and I pray that he’ll say something else. I want to hear that voice again. That’s the voice I want to listen to. “You used her. You have no right to be here.”

“I have every right to be here! You should be holed up in the mountains, back where you belong.” “Fuck you,” the voice says again. “I love her more than you could love anyone… or anything.” My eyes fly open and I take a deep breath in. “Dominic!” I call out. I struggle to focus my eyes and the voices stop. Someone takes my hand and the voice is next to me now. “I’m here, baby, I’m here. I’m right here.” I look at the shape beside me and blink a few times until my vision clears. It’s him! “Dominic,” I breathe. He’s staring at me with his eyebrows drawn together, stroking my arm and holding my hand as he crouches next to me. “I’m here.” He kisses my hand and then brings his lips to my forehead. “I’m here.” I breathe in that familiar smell and close my eyes again. “Dominic,” I breathe. “You were in an accident,” he says softly. “You’re in the hospital. You’re safe now.” I don’t understand what he means, and I don’t understand what’s going on. All I know is he’s here, he’s holding my hand and kissing my forehead. He’s brushing the hair off my face and whispering to me. I can feel him and smell him and see him.

He’s here. I take deep breaths as I try to make sense of what’s going on. “Mara, darling,” the other man says. I frown, turning towards him. It’s Vincent. He’s wearing a three-piece suit, and he looks stiff and uncomfortable. I shake my head and look back and Dominic, trying to keep my breath steady and my eyes on him. “Mara, look at me,” Vincent says. “Go away,” I croak. My throat hurts and it’s hard to speak. It barely comes out above a hoarse whisper. “Get out.” A nurse appears and puts her hand on Vincent’s shoulder. He brushes her off and stares at me with fire in his eyes. “I’m your fiancé!” He says. “Don’t tell me to leave!” “It’s over,” I croak. His face contorts into a snarl and he spins around, brushing the nurse’s arm away. He stomps out of the room and I let out a deep breath. I close my eyes and squeeze Dominic’s hand. I focus on the soft stroking of his hand over mine, and the gentle sound of his voice until I drift off to sleep again. When I wake up again, Dominic is curled up into a chair that’s much too small for him, snoring lightly as he sleeps. I watch him for a few moments

and a smile drifts over my face. As if he can sense my stare, he wakes up and immediately leans forward. “Mara! You’re awake!” “Yeah,” I croak. My voice still sounds like a toad. Dominic smiles and tears start to fill his eyes. “I’ve been so worried about you,” he whispers, leaning down to kiss my hand. He strokes my cheek and shakes his head. “So worried.” “What are you doing here?” “I came to tell you that you didn’t have to do this. I found out about the deal you made with your mother and Vincent. Mara, you don’t need to protect me. I’ll be fine. Don’t ruin your life for me.” I try to smile and it feels like my lips are cracking. Dominic puts his forehead against mine and kisses me. “I love you, Mara.” Even though my whole body is aching, and I can’t move or speak or breathe without something hurting, his words make me feel like I’m floating. I smile, ignoring my cracked lips and let the tears flow from my eyes. “I love you too, Dominic.” “Come back with me,” he whispers. “Be with me.”

“I will,” I answer. My heart beats a little bit faster, and the machines around me beep along with it. Dominic squeezes my hand and kisses my lips. For the first time since I left Lang Creek, I feel at peace. A knock on the door interrupts us, and my father pokes his head through. Concern is lining his face and he rushes to my side. “Mara,” he breathes. “My God. I came as soon as I could.” “I’m fine, Dad.” I lie. “Thank you for coming.” He holds my other hand and I close my eyes, feeling the love of my father and Dominic radiate through me. I open my eyes again and turn to my father. “Where’s Mom?” My dad looks away from me and glances at Dominic. He shakes his head. “Don’t worry about that,” he says. “Just focus on getting better.” I frown, trying to understand him. “What do you mean? Where is she?” “We can talk about this later, Mara. You need to heal.” “Dad,” I say a little bit louder. “Tell me what’s going on. I’ve been kept in the dark my whole life.” My dad looks at Dominic and takes a deep

breath. “I confronted your mother after Dominic spoke to me,” he says slowly. “She admitted what she was doing with you and Vincent. I told her I’d never pass the business on to you if you married Vincent. I told her I’d give it to Dominic, instead.” “What?” Dominic interrupts. My dad shakes his head. “It’s true. I’d rather you have it.” He pauses. “She left, Mara. I don’t know where she is. She drained our accounts and took the insurance payout, and she left in the middle of the night. I found out about your accident a few hours later, and I came as soon as I could.” I stare at my father for a few moments and then close my eyes. My heart is breaking, and a tear rolls down my cheek. She left? Do we mean nothing to her? She just took our money and ran? As if he can sense my pain, Dominic squeezes my hand. “Mara, we’ll figure it out,” he says in a low voice. I open my eyes to look at the love of my life and nod my chin down. “You hear me?” he continues. “We’ll figure it out. Just get yourself better and come home with us.” “Home,” I croak as I try to smile. “That sounds nice.” Dominic leans over and places a soft kiss on

my lips. “I love you, Mara McCoy.” “And I love you, Dominic Clarke.”

Epilogue - Dominic

It takes a couple weeks for Mara to get strong enough to fly, but I don’t mind. Tim and I take turns at the hospital, and otherwise I explore the nearby area. Southern California is nice, but it’s not home. I miss the lush pine trees and jagged peaks. I gaze over the Pacific Ocean and take in the rolling hills, and I sigh. I turn away from the ocean and get back in the rental car, heading towards the hospital. Tim and Mara are waiting for me at the entrance. “Wheelchair!” I exclaim as I get out of the car. Mara rolls her eyes. “They made me take it. I don’t need it,” she says. I put my arm under her shoulders and help her up. I see her wince as we move and a pain passes through my heart. The wheelchair seems like a good idea to me. Tim nods to me and jumps into the driver’s seat as I get in the back of the car with Mara.

She rests her head against my shoulder and her eyelids close. I watch her chest rise and fall, and my own chest squeezes when I see how small she is. She’s lost so much weight in the hospital, and her cheeks look almost sunken in. She looks so weak. My heart starts beating and I worry that it’s too soon – that we shouldn’t be moving her yet. It’s a long way to Lang Creek. We have a five hour flight and then a three hour drive before we get home. It’ll be a full day of travelling. “Are you sure you’re okay?” I whisper to her. “Shhh,” she says as she pats my leg. “I just want to go home.” I watch her like a hawk until I’m laying her down in her bed at the back of the hotel. Mara’s face is worn and she looks at me through sleepy eyes. “Don’t go,” she whispers to me. “I want to wake up with you here.” I manage a smile and nod. I kick off my shoes and lay next to her, feeling her frail body drift off to sleep next to me. I hold her close, stroking her arm up and down until sleep takes me too. The next few weeks are rough. Mara is weak, and I worry that she should be under someone’s care. She should have a nurse here, and

she shouldn’t be moving as much as she is. I can see her stubbornness though, in the way that she swings her legs over the side of the bed every day, and forces herself to walk up and down Main Street until she looks exhausted. She grits her teeth and tries to hide her pain, but I see it when she thinks I’m not looking. I sleep next to her every night, and wake up next to her every morning. On one chilly autumn afternoon, I load up the last of the headboards into my truck and drive over to the McCoy Hotel. Mara is waiting for me outside, wearing a big grin on her face. She still has a boot on from the knee down, but she can walk almost normally. Her scars are fading, and she gives me a big wave as I pull up to the hotel. “Congratulations, Mr. Clarke,” she calls out to me. “That’s the last of the furniture for the hotel! A few finishing touches and the renovations will be complete!” “Better late than never,” I respond as I jump out of the cab and smile to her. She wraps her arms around my neck and plants a big kiss on my lips. I pull away and drag my fingers through her hair, inhaling her sweet perfume and getting lost in her eyes. “You’re so beautiful, Mara.” Her eyes crinkle as she smiles and she sticks her tongue out. “Even now?”

“Even now,” I reply with a grin. I rub my nose against hers and she laughs. Tim appears behind her and he nods to me. “Looks great, Dominic. Thank you for your work.” “No problem at all,” I reply, helping him unload the last headboard. We carry it upstairs as Mara follows us. I take a step back and sigh in satisfaction once it’s installed. Mara slips her hand around my waist and leans her head against my shoulder. I squeeze her against me and she smiles. She looks over to her dad. “See, Dad, we don’t need Mom here. The hotel looks better than ever before. We’re already doing 15% better than we were last year at this point in the season!” Tim smiles sadly. He puts his arm around his daughter and kisses her temple. “I’m just glad you’re okay,” he replies. I can see the pain in his eyes whenever Margaret is mentioned. Ever since she left, we haven’t heard a word from her. She disappeared with the insurance money, and she hasn’t been back since. She took all their savings, and I had to finish out the contract without being paid. Sometimes, Tim stares out through a window and I know he’s thinking of her. It makes my chest ache for him. She took more than just money when she left. She took something from Tim, too. Tim shakes his head and puts a smile on his

face. Mara pulls away from her dad and nudges him. Tim smiles and pulls something out of his breast pocket. He hands it to me. I frown, looking down at the paper. I unfold it and shake my head. “For your work,” Tim says. “I know we couldn’t pay you, and I appreciate you finishing the job. You’re a good man, Dominic.” “Tim, I can’t accept this,” I say, staring at the agreement for part ownership of the McCoy Hotel. “It’s way too much. You can pay me the rest when you have the money,” I answer, handing him the papers. Mara smiles and shakes her head. “I told you he wouldn’t accept,” she answers with a laugh. “Come on, Dominic. It’ll be yours eventually anyways.” I glance at her frown. “What are you talking about?” She laughs. “When we get married and live happily ever after!” she says. I look from her to Tim and a smile spreads across my face. “Are you proposing to me? In front of your dad?” “I’d propose in front of the whole world,” she says, wrapping her arms around my waist. “You’re mine, and I’m yours. Everything I have is yours too – including this place. You’ve put enough work into it to own part of it.”

My throat tightens and my eyes start to prickle. I try to swallow as I pull her in tighter to me. Tim smiles at me and nods his head. “Welcome to the family, Dominic. I never thought I’d say those words,” he adds with a chuckle. “I never thought I’d hear them,” I answer. Mara lifts her chin up and wraps her arms around me a little bit tighter. I dip my lips down to hers and taste that sweet kiss one more time. You’re mine, and I’m yours. Mara’s voice rings in my ears. I never thought I’d hear those words, either, and I never thought they’d sound so good.

​

The End Thank you for reading! If you haven’t read Book 1: Lie to Me, find it here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07BS3S5FC You can see all my books on Amazon by following this link: https://www.amazon.com/author/lilianmonroe Sign up for my newsletter to get exclusive access to bonus chapters from all my books, freebies and never miss another release:

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Knocked Up Series: Book I

Knocked Up by the CEO A Secret Baby Holiday Office Romance

Lilian Monroe

Description Harper I can’t have kids. I’ve been poked and prodded, tested, re-tested, and ultimately heartbroken when one doctor after another shook their head and said that ugly word: infertile. It’s just a fact of life. I can’t have kids. That’s what I’ve always believed, at least, until one wild night at the office Christmas party changes everything. Zach Lockwood is my boss, the company’s CEO, and New York’s most eligible bachelor. He’s also… my baby’s daddy?? How will he react when old and new secrets start to unravel right in front of our eyes? Will one night of fun make me lose everything I’ve ever cared about?

Zach I don’t know what it is about her, but I’ve never been able to keep my eyes off her. Tonight she’s mine. I’m claiming those luscious curves and soft pink lips as my own, right here in my corner office.

I’m about to get a lot more than I bargained for, and I’m not sure I’m ready for it. All I know is that there’s a lot more to Harper Anderson than I ever could have imagined. Knocked Up by the CEO is a secret baby holiday office romance with high heat level and as always, no cheating and a happily ever after!

Chapter 1 - Harper

“Coming through!” I call out, balancing a tray of cookies in one hand and a jug of eggnog in the other. I can smell the boozy scent of rum coming off the eggnog and I know it’ll be a big hit this year. My coworkers move out of the way as I crouch down towards the table and slide the tray off my hand onto the table in a smooth motion. The tablecloth is covered the cartoonish drawings of snowmen and snow flakes, with tinsel strewn under the trays of food. The whole office looks like the inside of a Christmas store. I place the jug of eggnog beside the cookies and stand up, putting my hands on my hips and turning around. “That should be it,” I breathe, pulling the hem of my sweater down. It’s the ugliest and most amazing sweater I’ve ever seen, a wooly red monstrosity with flashing LED lights all over the front in the shape of a Christmas tree. Perfect for the office Christmas party. “Well done, Harper! The place looks amazing,” Rosie says as she walks up beside me. She’s wearing her regular work clothes. In fact, no

one except me is dressed up, but I don’t mind. Rosie smiles and raises the plastic wine glass towards me. I grab a glass of my own from the dozens lined up on the table and lift it up it towards Rosie. “I can finally start enjoying myself now,” I grin back. We clink our glasses and I take my first sip of wine of the evening. “It’s always so much work putting this party together.” “But it’s always worth it,” Rosie replies. “Think of all the gossip that comes out of it every year!” She grins mischievously and takes another sip of wine, scanning the room over the rim of her glass. I laugh and nod. She’s right, it’s usually fodder for at least a couple months of water cooler chat. I’ve been in charge of the office Christmas party for the last three years, and they’ve gotten wilder as time has gone on. I’m sure this year will be the same. “Nice sweatshirt!” I try not to cringe as the screechy voice reaches my ears. The back of my neck prickles with that same uncomfortable feeling I get every time I hear his voice. I already know it’s Greg from accounting. I turn around slowly and there he is, grinning at me with his toothy, slimy smile. I nod, trying not to stare at the stains on his tie or the greasy hair plastered to his forehead.

“Thanks,” I respond curtly. “You like Christmas, hey?” “No, not really, I just do this so I can drink at the office.” He throws his head back and laughs before shuffling closer, his baggy pants and too-tight shirt sliding in beside me. I inch away as he gets closer. He smells like wet socks. “Haven’t seen you around the accounts department lately,” he says to me. I try to avoid his stare and glance at Rosie. She’s got her nose buried in her glass of wine. “I got promoted a year ago, Greg. I don’t work in accounts anymore.” “Yeah, yeah, of course, but you know, I thought you’d still come around and say hello to me - to the team. I thought we meant something to you!” He smiles at me and I resist the urge to shudder. I would rather come across as a coldhearted snobby executive bitch than to willingly spend time with you, after all the torture you put me through! Greg glances at Rosie and his smile disappears immediately. He almost snarls at her and I grab her arm and point over to the other side of the room. “Oh, look, it looks like those decorations need to be adjusted. Excuse me.” “I’ll help!” Rosie says. The two of us speed

away towards the huge tree I rented for the party. “Is he still following you around? I thought you’d made a complaint.” I sigh. “I did, he got a warning from HR and avoided me for a while but it looks like he’s plucked up the courage to talk to me again. Might be the booze.” “Isn’t there anything you can do? He FOLLOWED you to your HOUSE! Multiple times!!!” “Don’t remind me,” I say, glancing at her sideways. I push the thought away, not wanting to go back to those months last year when I was constantly looking over my shoulder. I didn’t even know it was Greg until weeks after the whole thing started. I spent weeks and weeks with that same prickly feeling at the back of my neck, feeling like I was being followed and thinking I was going insane. The promotion to Commercial Director came with a healthy pay raise and the condition that my complaint about Greg would be satisfied when he got a warning. I never understood why the Human Resources department didn’t take me more seriously, but at the end of the day not many women make it to the Director-level at a top advertising firm at my age. I weighed my options and for the most part, it was worth it. I hardly have to see him anyways. Rosie and I get to the Christmas tree and

look at all 16 feet of it. The top of it grazes the ceiling. “So what do you want us to adjust? I think Greg is still looking over here,” Rosie asks, looking at the massive tree. It was almost too big to fit in the door. I had to beg and plead to get approval for it, saying that it wasn’t a Christmas party without a tree. It’s impeccably decorated and I already know that nothing needs to be adjusted. “Uh, let’s just lift this string of lights a bit. We can just move them around till he looks away.” I point to the other side of the tree and Rosie nods. I turn to the lights and am about to grab them when she makes a noise between a gasp and a yelp and I look at her. Her eyes are staring behind me before she flicks them to my face. She lifts her eyebrows up and gives me a knowing nod. It must be him. Immediately my heart starts beating faster and I hear the roar of every heartbeat pounding in my ears. It’s our elusive, mysterious, unbelievably sexy CEO. Zachary Lockwood. I feel my cheeks burning as Rosie glances back at him. I turn my head slowly and see him near the entrance of the office, shaking hands with one of the employees. His suit is navy with little white pinstripes. His chocolate brown hair is slicked back perfectly, with a crisp part down the side. He’s tall and athletic, with a chiseled jaw and unbelievably deep brown

eyes. Not that I’ve noticed, or anything. I glance away quickly, trying to ignore the thumping of my heart. I’ve been admiring him from a distance ever since he took over and brought our firm back from the brink of bankruptcy. Rosie knows it, and constantly teases me whenever he makes an appearance at the office. Thankfully that doesn’t happen very often. “He doesn’t have a hot blonde model with him this time, maybe this is your chance!” Rosie whispers loudly with a grin. “Shut up,” I respond. “I’m sure he’s got a gaggle of girls waiting in the wings.” Rosie nods and my heart sinks a little. I know it’s probably true. He’s one of the richest and sexiest men in New York, and definitely way, way out of my league. Plus, he’s my boss! Even if I had a chance with him, it would definitely be inappropriate to pursue it. Suddenly I wish I wasn’t wearing a ridiculous light-up Christmas tree on my chest. I could be wearing anything else and it would be more flattering. Literally anything. A paper bag would look better than this thing. It doesn’t matter, I tell myself. He’s my boss. Even if he is attractive, we work together and fantasising about him is inappropriate. I shake my head and try to ignore the nervous excitement at the pit of my stomach. I take another sip of wine

and nod to Rosie and the string of lights. She grins but says nothing, and instead turns to the tree and follows my lead.

Chapter 2 - Zach

I’ve been trying not to stare at her ever since I walked in. Harper Anderson is my employee, after all. I can’t help it that there’s something about her that intrigues me. Maybe it’s the way she doesn’t seem to care who I am? Usually employees, especially women, are nervous and flustered when they see me. She’s all business, all the time. Nothing seems to phase her. I glance over at her as she talks to another woman beside the massive fake Christmas tree that dominates the room. She marched into my office six weeks ago and insisted on ordering that huge tree, standing in front of me with a graph she’d prepared that showed Christmas cheer increasing exponentially with every extra foot of tree that we ordered. Her face had been so serious, and she’d presented her carefully prepared graphs and figures as if it was the quarterly review. I had no choice, I had to say yes. Harper had me totally off-balance and I hadn’t even been able to laugh at the ridiculousness and thoroughness of her proposal. But as soon as I said yes I’d seen a

twinkle in her eye and I knew there was something different about her. It’s not often that people surprise me like that. She’s good at what she does, and that’s what matters. It doesn’t matter that my cock starts to twitch whenever I think about her, or that I can’t seem to get her out of my head for days every time I visit the office. “… the Jackson file will be ready for your signature by Monday morning, and.. Zach? Are you listening?” I’m pulled from my thoughts and turn towards my Editor in Chief and best friend. I put a hand on his shoulder and look him in the eye. “Mitch. It’s the Christmas party. No more work talk.” “Alright, alright,” he says, throwing his hands up. “You want a drink?” he asks, motioning towards the snack table. I nod as I glance at the full spread of food and drink on the table. Harper’s done a good job this year, once again. There’s every imaginable snack and appetiser and drink that anyone could ever want. The woman knows how to throw a party. Mitch starts walking towards the drinks. “You got any plans this weekend?” “I was thinking of checking out that new club downtown tomorrow night, you in? There’s a

potential client there with a VIP booth.” Mitch grins. “VIP booth means girls girls girls. I’m in.” I nod. He’s right, there will be women. There always are, at these things. It’s part of the job, really. Our brand is what sells advertisements luxury, excess, riches, women, everything that’s good in the world. Everything that’s good in my life. I see people my age settling down and having kids and all I can think is why?! Why would you want that? Why would you want to be tied to one person for the rest of your life? “What happened with that model you were seeing? I thought you’d be here with her,” Mitch asks as we get to the table. There are dozens of tiny wine glasses lined up in front of us. “Didn’t work out,” I reply. It never does. I never let it, women just want to use me for my money and status, so I use them right back. “Tomorrow is a new night,” Mitch says as he hands me a glass of wine. “Tonight is a new night,” I correct with a grin. He chuckles and nods before taking a sip. I drink with him but something is off. I don’t quite believe myself when I say these things tonight. Why would I care about models and actresses and all these beautiful women that only want me for what I can buy for them, or who I can introduce them to? Maybe the people settling down have

found something I haven’t. Probably not. I grab a glass of wine off the table. “Merry Christmas,” I say to Mitch. “Merry Christmas, buddy. To every night being a new night, and every girl being a new girl!” I force a chuckle and touch my glass to his. I steal another glance over towards Harper. She’s laughing at something. I can see her cheeks flushing from over here. I can’t quite make out her freckles, but if I get a little bit closer I’m sure I could see them scattered over her cheeks and nose. She’s completely dwarfed standing next to that ridiculous tree. She’s wearing an atrocious red sweater with lights on it, pointing to the decorations with the woman next to her. I have no idea how, but somehow she makes it look sexy. She’s smiling at her friend and the two of them laugh about something. Her sweater is flashing and I almost let myself grin as I look at her. Just as Mitch and I start walking away from the drinks she turns her head and our eyes meet from across the room. It only lasts a second before she looks away but something stirs inside me. Those green eyes of hers are like beams of light that pierce right through me. I could see that twinkle in her eye from all the way over here and I can’t help but wonder what she’s laughing about.

I need to get closer to her tonight, to have an actual conversation with her. I’m not going to settle for the same business talk and cold mask that she puts on. I want to know the real Harper Anderson.

Chapter 3 - Harper

He was looking right at me. My heart is practically jumping out of my chest. Get it together! I’ve only had half a glass of wine and I’m already dizzy from one look. Who cares how good looking he is?! He’s a player! And he’s my BOSS. I glance at Rosie and nod towards the lights. She grabs the strand of wire and we lift it away from the tree together. We move it up a fraction of an inch and then place it back down on the fake green branches. It looks exactly the same. “There,” I say with exaggerated satisfaction, dusting my hands off in front of me. Rosie laughs. I glance at her and grin before turning back to the tree. At least it got me away from Greg. “It looks perfect, Harps,” Rosie says. I can tell she means it. “It better look perfect, it’s costing old Mister Zachary Moneybags a small fortune,” I laugh. “I still can’t believe he approved the expense.” My eyes drift upwards and I notice that one of the bow-shaped ribbons is caught in a branch

and twisted awkwardly. I reach up towards it, trying to wiggle it loose. It’s almost out of reach. I can just touch it with the tips of my fingers as I stand on the tip of my toes. I take a small step forward and try to reach the bow again. The soft velvet of the bow tickles my fingertips and I stretch my body a tiny bit more until I can grasp it between two fingers. “Come on,” I breathe, grabbing it and pulling it down to straighten it out. I have the bow in my fingers and pull gently, but something is wrong. It’s not budging as easily as I thought it would. I try yanking it a little bit harder to bring the bow out from the branches. I’m on the tips of my toes, taking a thousand tiny steps forward and back to keep my balance. I grab the bow once more between my fingers and pull just a tiny, tiny bit harder. The bow wrenches loose and I finally get a grip on it, and then everything happens at once. I try to fix the ribbon but something is wrong. I’m still on the tips of my toes and I feel like the ground is shifting under my feet and I can’t regain my balance. My feet shuffle forward and back again a million times. My stomach drops and time slows down. No, no, no, no, no! “Harper!” I hear Rosie’s voice as if it’s coming at me from underwater. I hear her scream

as I feel myself falling backwards, still grabbing on to that pesky velvet ribbon between my fingers. My heart leaps into my throat as I feel the ground falling away from me, sending me flying backwards. I’m spinning, falling through the air in slow motion. Finally I let go of that stupid bow and my arms fly up towards my head to protect my fall. I hit the ground with a thud and the air gets knocked out of my lungs. My eyes are closed and the pain of the landing jolts through my body. I land a second before the tree does. Before I know what’s happening, there’s a deafening series of smashes and crunches and shattering of ornaments all around me as the plastic branches collapse on top of me. All sixteen feet of the massive, expensive, unnecessary Christmas tree that I insisted on ordering falls down on top of me with an earth-shattering crash. It takes a second for me to realise what’s happened. Miraculously I haven’t been impaled, but all I can see are green branches and shattered ornaments all around me. I’m pinned under the tree. I can’t move. When the ringing in my ears quiets down I hear shouting and screaming from my coworkers and I close my eyes, sighing deeply. Oh. My. God. The reality of what’s just happened slowly dawns on me as I lay there, trapped by my own decorations. There’s a plastic pine branch rubbing

against my cheek and a hard ornament digging into my leg. I try to move my leg but all I can do is wiggle my foot back and forth. I’m well and truly stuck. I close my eyes and try to catch my breath. I’ve just tipped over the sixteen-foot tree on top of myself at the annual Christmas party, in front of every single employee and all my bosses. In front of him - in front of Zach freaking Lockwood! The embarrassment is almost too much to bear. I lay my head down on the hard floor and close my eyes, trying to ignore the thumping of my heart and the burning in my cheeks. Rosie’s voice calls out. “Harper! Are you okay?!” She sounds panicked. I try to answer but nothing comes out, so I clear my throat and try again. “Yep, yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.” I answer, trying to keep my voice steady. I’m fine. I’m great, even. Fantastic. Never better.

Chapter 4 - Zach

I lift my head just as the tree is tipping past the point of no return and I watch in stunned horror as Harper falls backwards, pulling the tree down on top of her. It crashes down within seconds, sending ornaments and lights flying across the room. The top of it lands on top of the food table, knocking it over and sending snacks and drinks crashing to the ground. Within seconds I’m beside the tree, trying to lift it off her. “You,” I point to a man next to me. “Grab that branch. You,” I point to a woman near the tip of the tree, “grab the trunk. On three. One, two, three!” A dozen of us grunt as we lift the tree back up. This thing weighs about a thousand pounds. It takes half a dozen of us to get it upright again as broken ornaments and tinsel rain down on top of us. Once it’s lifted back upright I glance down and see Harper on the floor. She looks stunned, laying on her back as she watches us get the tree

upright again. An ornament bounces off the tree and rolls over beside her. She picks it up and looks at it blankly. I walk over and crouch down, balancing on my heels as I squat next to her. Her eyes are hazy and her cheeks are flushed. Her auburn hair is a bird’s nest and she has tinsel and broken Christmas ornaments littered all over her. The lights on her sweater are still blinking. “You alright, Harper?” She nods. “Yeah, I’m fine,” she responds. As soon as I hear her speak I feel a desperate urge to laugh but I keep my best poker face on. She tries to sit up and groans, pausing to balance herself on her elbows. I reach down and grab her arm, helping her to her feet. The second my hand touches her arm I feel something like a spark go off inside me. My cock twitches but I ignore it, brushing broken glass off Harper’s shoulder. I watch as she glances around the room at the circle of coworkers that has formed around us. Harper stands up a bit straighter and raises her arms slowly, as if to acknowledge the crowd. An embarrassed grin creeps over her face and I can’t help but notice how it makes her eyes sparkle that little bit brighter. A cheer and a laugh starts rippling through the crowd and suddenly everyone is clapping. Harper takes a small bow and I see her stumble a

little. I grab her arm a bit tighter and help her up. I can feel her shaking and I keep my hand on her arm to hold her steady. I’ve never been this close to her. I glance around the office. It’s absolute carnage. There’s decorations, food, spilled juice and wine and eggnog all over the place. The food table is knocked over onto its side and all the refreshments are soaking into the thin office carpet. Harper is still shaking and people are starting to come closer to us. I wave to my assistant who rushes over. “Becca, here’s my credit card.” I turn to the crowd. Almost every single person employed by the company is here, watching Harper and I, still laughing and cheering. I hold up my hand and the place quiets down. “Alright everyone, the venue has changed. Open bar at the regular spot downstairs, compliments of the company. Harper and I will be down in a few minutes. Happy Holidays!” There’s a cheer and clapping. “Nice one, Harper! Best Christmas party yet!” Another wave of laughter ripples through the crowd and people start filing out. One woman, I forget her name, steps forward. She goes to Harper. “You okay, Harps?” Harper smiles again. I’m still holding her upright and I can feel how

weak she is. “I’m fine, just a bit shaken up. Thanks, Zach,” she says as she pulls her arm away. I reluctantly let go and take a step back. It feels like a chasm between us. Harper turns to the woman. “I’ll be down in a bit, Rosie. You go enjoy yourself.” Rosie, that’s it. One of our junior editors. “I’ll stay here and help you!” “No, no, it’s fine, really. I’ll be down in a few minutes.” I watch as Rosie nods slowly and then glances at me before nodding and turning around. “Come on, sit down,” I say gently, guiding Harper to a chair nearby. She sits down heavily and puts her forehead in her hand, slouching down. Her sweater crumples slightly at the front. The lights are still twinkling in the shape of a tree all over her torso. It truly is one of the ugliest sweaters I’ve ever seen. “I can’t believe I just did that,” she says. I can sense the embarrassment radiating off her. A smile starts creeping across my face. “I can’t believe you did that either,” I respond. She glances at me through her fingers and I can’t help it. I start laughing, a deep, booming belly laugh. It starts in my stomach and consumes my entire body until my shoulders are shaking and my cheeks hurt. I haven’t laughed like this in a long time. After a few moments I watch as

Harper’s shoulders relax and she starts smiling and finally laughing with me. She sighs deeply and then glances beside her. There’s an abandoned half glass of wine. I watch as she takes it between her delicate fingers and shrugs as if to say, ‘why not!’ before pouring the whole thing into her mouth. This is definitely a side of her I haven’t seen before. I glance over and see the bottles of wine near the upturned table. I walk over and grab one of them and another glass then head back to Harper and pull up a chair. “Merry Christmas,” I say as I fill both our glasses. “This might be our most expensive Christmas party yet. Hope this was in your budget,” I tease, sweeping my arm towards the wreckage. “Zach… I…” I hold up my hand. “Don’t. It’s okay. At least people will be talking about you this year and not me. Last year I think I heard every rumour in the book about my love life.” I pause and glance at Harper. “Or lack thereof.” She grins and sighs again, shaking her head. “Well don’t worry, I’ve got the gossip covered this year.” She glances at the tree, which is now upright and more than a little crooked. There’s a few snapped branches littered on the floor. “I just had to get the biggest tree I could find, didn’t I.” “Sixteen feet tall!” I breathe in mock

amazement. I glance over and see that smile spread across her face. She chuckles silently and then takes a sip of wine, looking at me over the edge of her glass. Something stirs inside me as her eyes flick to mine. I never noticed the light in them before. I clear my throat and glance back at my wine, filling up both our glasses up and clinking mine against hers. Somehow the air seems thicker than before. I can sense every move that Harper is making and the way her eyes are burning into me is making my cock stir in my pants. I shift in my seat and clear my throat again before taking another sip of wine.

Chapter 5 - Harper

I’ve never spent this much time with him. Usually Zach is in and out of the office and it’s all business with him. He spends his time doing who knows what with clients - networking, I guess - and leaves the actual operation of the business to us. I watch the way he’s reclining on the chair, bringing the plastic wine glass to his red lips. I wonder what his lips would taste like? I glance away and try to shake the thought from my head. This wine must be getting to me, or maybe it was the adrenaline of the fall. This is my boss! Not only that, this is the CEO of the whole company!! It’s probably inappropriate for me to be here alone drinking with him. It’s definitely inappropriate for me to be thinking about kissing him. Still, there’s something exciting about it. My eyes dart back to him and a thrill rushes down my spine when I see he’s looking at me. Why did I have to wear this stupid sweatshirt?? As if reading my mind, Zach asks me: “Where’d you get your sweater? It’s very…

unique.” He grins and raises an eyebrow. I look down and gently touch the twinkling LEDs on my torso. “I got it at a Goodwill. It was three dollars.” “Wow, what a bargain,” he responds. I nod, grinning proudly. “Didn’t even have to buy any batteries for it!” This time he laughs, a deep belly laugh that makes his shoulders shake. I notice the way his smile lights his whole face up and his eyes close as he tilts his head back to laugh. He has perfect teeth. His laugh sends a wave of heat through me and I can’t help but giggle along. It feels good to be here with him, like this. Zach’s laugh dies down and he grins at me. “I never knew this side of you.” He’s staring at me intently, as if he’s looking through me or into me, trying to figure me out. “You always seem so serious and professional.” I resist the urge to squirm. Instead, I turn to the fallen tree. “What, this side of me?” I ask, sweeping my arm towards the mess of snacks and drinks and upturned furniture. “Now that you see it, are you impressed? Personally I think clumsiness is irresistible.” I bring the the wine glass up to my lips and raise my eyebrow, watching his face as I take a sip. My heart is thumping as he watches me, a subtle smile playing on his lips.

“Irresistible is one word for it,” he responds in a low voice. I can feel the rumble of his voice in my bones, like it traveled straight through me. It doesn’t sound like he’s joking. A warmth starts spreading in my centre and I desperately want to reach over and touch him, grab him, feel his hand or his arm or anything. I want to feel his arms around me and breathe in his smell. Instead I stay rooted to my chair. We watch each other without moving. The tension is palpable, and I can hardly breathe for fear of breaking the spell that’s cast over us. Zach looks towards the fallen table and slowly gets up. He rolls up the sleeves of his shirt to reveal his sinewy forearms. I lick my lips. I watch as he walks towards the mess, his crisp white shirt tucked into his pinstriped trousers. His back looks wide and strong, and I can see the outline of his shoulders through the thin white fabric. I watch him crouch down and pick up the table, setting it back upright. I get up and follow him over. I start a few feet away from him, picking up boxes and cookies and cakes that have fallen on the floor. We work in silence for a few minutes. I stand up after picking up the millionth item off the floor, wiping a bead of sweat from my forehead. I grab my heavy sweater and pull it off over my head, letting out a sigh. “It’s hot in here!” I exclaim, and then I see Zach’s eyes on me. His eyes are roaming over me

and suddenly I feel like I’m wearing nothing at all. I pull down the hem of my thin camisole. I wasn’t intending on taking off my sweater. I blush and turn back to the mess on the floor to hide my embarrassment. I bend over to pick up a stack of plastic plates and when I stand up he’s right beside me, his arm brushing against mine. He turns towards me so that his chest is inches from mine. I place the plates down gently on the table and try to slow down the thumping in my chest. Zach is so close to me I can feel the heat radiating off his skin. He smells sweet and spicy at the same time and I breathe deeply, trying to calm myself down. As soon as his scent hits my nostrils it has the opposite effect. My body goes into overdrive and all I can think of is putting my hands on his body. We’re inches apart. Slowly, I drag my eyes up his chest to his jaw, watch his lips as he opens them gently and finally let my eyes drift up to his. They look so dark, like bottomless pools of brown staring back at me. My heart is going wild. I can feel it beating against my ribcage as we stand there, transfixed. I can’t tear my eyes away from his. I don’t want to. Ever so slowly, Zach brings his hand up and gently brushes the edge of my hip with his fingertips. I shiver, closing my eyes gently and relishing his touch. He’s barely touching me but it

feels more intense than I could imagine. It’s like his fingers have a direct line to my centre, sending wave after wave of heat towards my core. His fingers drift from my hip towards my navel, ever so gently brushing the fabric of my camisole. The blood is rushing between my legs and desire floods my veins with every heartbeat banging against my ribcage. I open my eyes and glance back at him. His eyes are half-closed. I can see him looking at me and the intensity of his gaze sends another wave of heat through me. I know my eyes have the same look of pure desire as his. I raise my hand and hesitate, then place it gently on his chest. He’s warm, and hard, his smooth muscles rippling under his shirt. I can feel his heart beating as well and it gives me a surge of confidence. My other hand flies up to his chest and I run it up towards his neck. The second my fingers touch the bare skin of his neck it’s like something explodes between us. My skin touches his and it sizzles, sending sparks through my entire body. He grips my waist and pulls me into him. This is so wrong. This is my boss! Zach Lockwood! I shouldn’t be doing this. But then his lips crush against mine and all thought disappears from my head. He tastes sweet, his lips soft against mine as they part and kiss me. His hand grips my neck, tangling into the hair at the

nape of my neck and pulling my head in towards his. My hands are gripping his shoulders, his neck, grabbing his shirt and pulling him into me. He’s pressing me into the table and I lean back, loving the way his body feels strong and muscular as he crushes it into me. His lips press against my neck, trailing kisses down my collarbone as his hands grab the small of my back and pull me into him. I’m panting, trying to keep my feet on the ground as my body goes into overdrive. The pleasure and desire is exploding through my entire body and I can feel my wetness pooling between my legs. I want him. I don’t care that he’s my boss, or the CEO, or that we’re at the office. I want him more than I’ve ever wanted anyone before.

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Doctor’s Orders Series: Book I

Doctor O A Modern Romance

Lilian Monroe

Chapter 1 - Valerie

I’m lying in bed staring at the ceiling for the thousandth time. I squeeze my eyes shut and try to focus on my hand as it moves down and over my mound, savouring the electric warmth that ripples with every movement of my fingers. I concentrate hard, trying to think of something sexy. Abs, or… muscles. Hands gripping me. The touch of a man’s tongue over me. Umm… throbbing… members? There’s a warmth growing inside me and I move my fingers faster, travelling up and down between my lips. My brow furrows as my fingers move faster, circling around my clit with more intensity. I’m holding my breath. It’s going to happen, I can feel it. I’m going to feel the shockwaves course through my body and the anticipation is making my heart hammer in my chest. I concentrate harder, moving my hand faster with the excitement. And then all of a sudden, nothing. It’s gone. My orgasm slips away into oblivion, just like it does every single other time I’ve ever tried. I sigh.

This isn’t going to happen. Not this time, not ever. I let my hand fall to my side and open my eyes back up, looking up at the ceiling again. Every single time I feel something, anything close to an orgasm it somehow escapes me. Maybe I’m thinking too hard, or I don’t know how to touch myself properly. It’s even worse when someone else tries to give me one. I tense up or think too much about what I’m doing or what I look like or what they’re thinking. Even when I am able to relax into the moment somehow it always seems to slip away at the last second. I can be completely in the mood and excited but for some reason I’ve just never gone over the edge. I’ve never felt the fireworks that everyone describes. The back arching, leg shaking, head melting feeling of pure, unadulterated pleasure. Not once, and it kills me. My ex boyfriend gave up trying in the end. He’d play with me until I was wet enough for him to enter me and then take his own orgasm without any worry about my own pleasure. I broke it off with him three months ago and since then, like every month and year before that, I’ve been unable to get myself off.

When I broke it off with my ex, my best friend Emma was there to pick up the pieces. We were out at our local cocktail lounge and I’d had two or three glasses of wine, just enough to be a bit giddy. I remember looking at her and blurting it out: “I’ve never orgasmed.” She’d nearly spat out her drink and looked at me in shock. Her mess of brown curls bounced around her face as she turned to look at me. She was wearing her signature bright red lipstick and her mouth hung open. “You mean in the four years you spent with that idiot he was never able to make you come?!” I’d looked around, worried she was being too loud. We were in our favourite booth in the back corner, with a perfect view of everyone in the bar but shielded from any unwelcome attention. I glanced around to make sure no one had heard her outburst. She didn’t care, as usual. She never seemed to be self conscious or insecure. She walked into any room like she owned it, swaying her hips and walking in with purpose. All eyes were on her, always. Her figure was a perfect hourglass and she had the attitude to match. Where she is all curls and curves, I'm wavyhaired, blonde, lanky. I always seem to feel a bit awkward when men talk to me, like somehow

they’re making fun of me, or they’re just passing the time until they get their turn with her. She’s the centre of attention and I’m her sidekick wherever we go. I don’t mind, not really. I love her to bits. She’s my rock, my best friend, my confidante. I couldn’t imagine my life without her by my side. She’s been there for me through thick and thin. The past three months she’s helped me move into my new apartment, made me laugh, brought me ice cream when I needed it. We’d moved to New York five years ago together and would not have survived without each other. She is the best friend I’ve ever had, and it felt good to open up to her about my orgasm-less existence. I couldn’t help but smile at the horror on her face when I told her my secret. “No, I mean I’ve never had an orgasm.. Ever. Like, not just with Bryce. Never.” Emma put down her glass of wine and brought her hands to her temples. This seemed to be difficult for her to understand. She stared at the table intently, processing what I’d just told her. “Never. As in… Ever? Not once?” She looked up at me, searching my face. I shrugged, not knowing what to tell her. “I mean, I’ve tried. Don’t get me wrong.” I looked at her sheepishly. “Val, girl. You need to sort this out. I’m telling

you this as your oldest and dearest friend, and as someone who has had many mind blowing orgasms. This is a very, very important part of any woman’s life. Did Bryce know? What did he do to try to get you off?” I’d felt the tears welling up in my eyes when she mentioned him. I didn’t want to tell her how bad our sex life had gotten, how selfish he’d been in bed. How selfish he’d been in general! She’d understood without me saying anything, as usual. She’d just waived the waiter over and dramatically ordered another round of drinks for us and then turned and winked at me. I’d laughed and the constriction in my throat had disappeared. I smile as I think back on that conversation. She’d been so concerned, so intent on helping me. She’d given me tips, she described her most intense orgasms, the way they rushed from her centre outwards in waves of warmth and pleasure. She had been so open and candid with me, talking about the way her back arched and her legs trembled. How her partners had actually enjoyed giving her pleasure, it wasn’t a chore to them at all. I’d listened to her describing her experiences and wished I could feel the same. I’d tried the tricks that she’d told me and tried to relax into it. It just seems like I… can’t. I can’t do it. No matter how hard I try I still haven’t felt an orgasm

rip through my body. I haven’t been with anyone since Bryce but I can’t bring myself to go through that again. To explain that it won’t happen, it’s not them, it’s me. To see the disappointment in the guy’s face as he tries and tries to get me to climax only to ultimately fail. Some guys take it on like a challenge but it only makes me feel worse when it doesn’t work. I’ve learned to live with it, sort of. I’ve thrown myself into my career and most days it feels like that’s enough. I lay in bed wondering if maybe there’s something wrong with me, and it makes me not able to orgasm. When the thought crosses my mind, I turn and reach for my phone. I pull up Google and within a millisecond I’m presented with ten thousand reasons that I’m not able to get off. I start clicking through the top few results. Maybe there really is something wrong with me. Doctor Google certainly seems to think so. Apparently I need to relax more, but the next article tells me to tense my leg muscles. I just need to try masturbating, duh, as if I haven’t tried that a million times! I sigh as I click from one result to another. Hormonal dysfunction, chronic illness, nerve damage, there seem to be countless things that might be wrong. I feel the familiar frustration bubbling up inside me as I keep reading. All I want

is to feel what everyone else can feel! I want that for myself and I want that connection with someone else. I don’t think that’s too much to ask. It’s a basic human biological function. I can feel the tears prickling at the corners of my eyes. I don’t want to cry, not again. I’ve been crying for three months. I take a deep breath and gather my resolve. I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow for a medical, maybe I’ll ask the doctor if there’s something wrong with me. My cheeks burn at the thought of asking that, of admitting once again that I’ve never felt the rush of an orgasm through my body. To make matters worse, I’ve just changed doctors and I haven’t met this one yet. I look at my email confirmation from the doctor’s office and see the name: Doctor O’Neill. I hope it’s a woman, and I don’t have to embarrass myself in front of yet another man. I let my phone fall beside me and look up once again at the ceiling. It’ll drive me nuts to keep thinking like this. I can endure a few minutes of embarrassment if it means I get an answer. I’ll ask the doctor tomorrow. Male or female, it doesn’t matter. Doctors have heard worse, I tell myself. All I want is a simple little orgasm, is that too much to ask? It doesn’t need to be earth shattering. I’ll settle for a regular old, middle of the week Wednesday-style routine orgasm. That’s a thing, right?

I feel the familiar stubbornness growing inside me. When I set my mind to something, nothing can stop me. I’ll get my answer tomorrow. I turn to my side and close my eyes, just wanting to go to sleep.

Chapter 2 - Clay

“Good morning, Doctor O’Neill!” I look over and smile at our receptionist. She’s standing tall in her chair, pushing her tits out towards me. She bats her eyes at me as I walk by. “Morning, Liz.” “Can I get you a cup of coffee?” “I’m okay for now,” I reply, holding up the cup in my hand. She giggles and I try not to roll my eyes. She shouldn’t try so hard. I like a woman who can hold her own. I like the feisty ones, like the one I had bent over my kitchen counter last night. She’d been wild, all nails and biting and writhing, loving the way I slammed my cock into her. I smile at the thought of her ass backing into me. Her curly brown hair had felt good when my fingers were wrapped around it. She’d been good. Very good. It’s too bad I won’t see her again, she’d been a lot of fun. We’d hardly slept at all last night, and I’m definitely feeling it this morning. It was worth it though. I’d watched her put her tiny skirt back on this morning and walk bow-

legged out of my apartment. They don’t call me Doctor O for nothing. I hadn’t gotten up out of bed when she did, just watched her put her clothes back on from my bed with my arms behind my head. I liked watching a woman get dressed almost as much as I liked watching her getting undressed. It was hot the way she bent over to slip her panties and skirt back on, and then threw her shirt over her head without bothering to put her bra back on. I yawn and open the door to my office, closing the door behind me and flopping onto my chair. My thoughts flick back to this morning. I smile, thinking of the familiar charade I play with all the women I hook up with. Once she’d gathered her things from around my room she’d looked back at me as I laid in bed. She smiled a bit sheepishly at me and awkwardly said goodbye. I’d nodded at her, knowing she wanted me to ask to see her again, to give her my phone number and promise to take her out. No way. Goodbye, curly haired vixen, it’s been a wild night but that’s all it’ll be. It’s my golden rule: one woman, one night, and no mixing sex with work. I can’t get attached. One night of fun is all they get, and in a city like New York there’s no shortage of women to choose from. My career is too important to me, and women just seem to get in the way. Anytime I see a woman

more than once it always ends up being a disaster. I set this rule for myself years ago when my ex destroyed my world and burned everything I cared about. She ripped through my life, leaving a wake of destruction behind her and me standing in the middle holding nothing but the destroyed remains of my own shattered heart. I like to think it was a good thing though, it’s served me well to focus on my career, and I’ve had no shortage of women to keep me occupied. I wouldn’t want to hang out with them for more than a couple hours anyways. Long enough to get off and then get them out. I squint at my computer screen, knowing it’ll be a long day already. I look at my appointments for the day. Saturdays are half days, which is good since I’m going to need the afternoon to sleep. My schedule is full but nothing too strenuous, just routine checkups and a few elderly patients in for their new prescriptions. One new client I haven’t met yet pops up in my mid morning slot: Valerie Brooks. Sexy name, I think to myself. Can’t mix business and pleasure unfortunately, otherwise I’d be all over the multitude of young beautiful female patients that throw themselves at me. I’ve worked hard to get where I am. I put myself through medical school, working nights and weekends. I did it myself and graduated at the top

of my class. I worked hard in my residency and now just had a few more years until I could call myself a full fledged cardiologist. This position at my current practice is a crucial stepping stone in my career, and I can’t mess it up under any circumstances. And then once I’m finished here, I’m in line to work under the best cardiologist in the country. Just a few short weeks and I can make the move cross-country to Seattle. Still, I smile at the thought of my medical school years. I’ve successfully kept my second job a secret from my medical professional network. I wouldn’t want anyone to know I was a male stripper and made a fortune getting naked in front of screaming women. That’s not exactly the bedside manner they teach in medical school. Being a male stripper is where I really learned what makes women tick, what drives them wild. I saw the power of having a rock hard body, how crazy it makes them. I loved having women throw themselves at me, rubbing their hands all over my chest and abs as I danced for them. I lean back in my chair and think back on those days. Bachelorette parties were the most fun, those women really let themselves loose. I hardly had to strip myself of my clothes, they’d rip it off me themselves. Once I graduated medical school I stopped dancing, but I didn’t stop having plenty of women

in my life. I can’t go around half naked on a stage anymore, but I can still drive women wild. Like the chick last night. Her bright red lipstick looked so, so good when it was wrapped around my hard cock. I’d wrapped my fingers into her curly hair and helped her along as she worked her magic. I can feel my cock twitch against my pants at the thought, wanting to feel a woman’s lips around it once again. I shake my head. I’m at work. I shut my appointment book and prepare myself for my first patient. There’s a knock on the door and Liz pops her head through the opening. She leans over as she pokes through the door so I can see her cleavage on full display. I wouldn’t mind giving her a full physical, but we work together and I can’t risk my position at the practice. She’s just the type of girl that would get too attached. I’ve just started working here, I can’t jeopardise that over something as trivial as casual sex. “Your first patient is here, doctor. Let me know if you need anything from me.” She smiles and cocks her head to the side. Her breasts are pressed up against the door and she bats her eyelashes at me. Good morning to you too, Liz. “Thanks Liz, I’ll let you know. Send them in.”

Chapter 3 - Valerie

I wake up when my phone rings. It’s Emma. “Oh. My. God. Val. You will not believe the night I had!” She’s practically yelling down the phone in excitement. Groggy, I rub my eyes and try to understand what she’s saying. My voice is husky and hoarse when I respond. “Why, what happened? Are you okay?” “Am I okay?! Are you kidding me?? I just had the most mind blowing night of the century. Holy shit, Val, you would not believe it. I just had the craziest, most animalistic sex of my life. I haven’t even slept. He was so good, and his cock was huge!” I groan in response, still trying to wake up. It isn’t unusual for Emma to wake me up with her crazy antics. I just wish she hadn’t done so on my first day off in two weeks. I sit up in bed, holding the phone to my ear as she talks nonstop while I try to keep up. “I met him at this bar and we connected right away, you know? Like we were just drawn to each

other. He had me bent over his kitchen counter, pulling my hair back, ahh even just thinking about it now is driving me nuts. Val, you need to sort out this orgasm thing of yours because life's too short to not have a night like that!!” “Sounds exciting, Em.” “You wouldn’t believe. Seriously. You need to have an orgasm. Or twelve.” “I’m going to the doctor this morning actually, I’m going to ask them about it,” I respond. “About the orgasm thing? That’s good! Because I can tell you, you are missing out. Big time.” As if I didn’t already know. Her words sting. I love Emma with all my heart but sometimes she can be so oblivious. I know she doesn’t mean to hurt my feelings but when she goes on and on about how great her sex life is, it just makes me feel so... Inadequate. I tell her I need to get ready for the doctor and I hang up the phone. I lay back down and stare up at my ceiling. I wonder if there are any other ceilings that have been stared at as much as mine. I seem to know every inch of it, every crack in the paint and the way the light hits every corner of it. I should put up a photo like they do in dentists’ offices so at least I’d have something to look at. I get up and turn on the shower. I look at myself in the bathroom mirror as the water warms up. I look a bit tired but nothing a good shower and some

makeup won’t fix. War paint, as Emma calls it. I need to feel as confident as possible when I go to this doctor’s appointment because if I feel the slightest bit insecure about myself I might chicken out and not ask about my problem. My mind is racing as I shower. How will the doctor react? I’m sure they’ll be professional. I hope it’s a woman. As I get ready I try not to think too much about my appointment. I pick out my favourite jeans and a tight white tank top. I blow dry my hair and put on some makeup, making sure my blue eyes pop. I even put on some lipstick, thinking of Emma and her signature power red. I choose a dusty pink colour, understated but flattering. I throw on a cardigan and look at myself in my full-length mirror. I feel good. Simple, casual, but pretty and confident. Like someone who is capable of having mind blowing orgasms. At least I hope so. It’s nice to be wearing jeans, and to have a bit of a sleep in. Even though I’m nervous about my appointment it’s nice to have a day off. I’ve been working so much this past while, and I’ve finally hit my stride at the office. I’ve started making some big sales in New York real estate. Month after month I was the top sales agent in my area, so my boss has finally given me some bigger listings. I’m breaking into the multi-

million dollar mansions now, which means a bigger commission but more difficult clients. It’s cutthroat, thankless, and non-stop, but I know how to sell a house. I smile. I can’t come but at least I close a deal. Whenever life gets hard I’ve always just thrown myself into my work. When I broke up with Bryce it was the perfect time to pick up more hours at the office. Still, it’s nice to have a day off, even though I need to confess to the doctor my most embarrassing secret. Deep breaths. After this morning I’ll be buying a direct ticket to Orgasmtown, population: me. Hopefully. I grab my keys, wallet, and phone and head down to my car. Shoulders back, head high. Fake it till you make it, I tell myself. I’m going to ask the doctor why I can’t have an orgasm. I’m doing it. Try and stop me.

Chapter 4 - Clay

I tip back my third cup of coffee, letting the final drips touch my tongue. Isn’t this stuff supposed to have caffeine? Maybe last night wasn’t such a good idea after all. Nah, who am I kidding. A good fuck is worth a long day at work the next day. I check my calendar. Ah, Miss Valerie Brooks is up next. I wonder what a girl with a name like that looks like. I’m imagining a long leggy brunette, doe-eyed and innocent. Or maybe she’s a red haired vixen. Blonde bombshell with big tits. My mind wanders and I make up a Mrs Potato Head of hot women that could have a name like Valerie Brooks. Who am I kidding, she’s probably 80 years old and doesn’t match her name at all. Nothing would surprise me at this point. That would probably be better, actually. The last thing I need is a distraction. I’ve been making headway with the lead cardiologist at the hospital down the road. He’s letting me shadow him next week, and I absolutely cannot have a bad

performance review here at the practice. I take a deep breath and hope that Valerie Brooks is as unattractive as they come, for my sake. Liz knocks on the door and drops off her paperwork. “Thank you,” I say, flashing her my best smile. She blushes and I chuckle at how easy it is. I wonder how many times she’s rubbed one out thinking of me between her legs. I glance at the papers in front of me. All new patients need to fill in general information: age, gender, address, allergies. The usual. Female, 29 years old. Looks like she’s not a senior citizen after all. I close the file and stand up, ready to call her in. The waiting area is down a short hallway and around to the left. My heart is beating a bit faster as I open my door and walk down the hallway. I don’t know why I should be nervous or excited about this. It’s just a name, another patient. Another person that’s off-limits to me. I round the corner and get ready to call out her name. Whoa. It has to be her, there’s no one else there. She’s sitting in a chair, facing the reception desk. I can see her profile, the way her long blonde hair falls in loose curls around her face. She’s wearing a white

top and tight jeans. She’s slouched a bit, and her tits are perfectly round and resting above her flat stomach. Not too big but shaped to perfection. I clear my throat. Better than my Mrs. Potato Head, which I didn’t even know was possible. “Valerie Brooks?” I hate how hesitant I sound. This isn’t like me. She turns towards me and I get a full view of her. Her blue eyes stand out like jewels on her face and she looks at me like she’s searching my face for answers. I want to hold her gaze but I have to glance down at her lips. They looks so soft and pillowy, I bet they taste like candy. I clear my throat again and look down at the floor. I need to get it together. I don’t mix work and play, ever. I can’t resist watching as she gets up out of her chair and bends over to pick up her bag. I wait by the hallway as she walks towards me. Does she know how incredible she looks? Each movement is graceful and sensual. Her legs are a mile long and her slender hips sway with every step. I let her go in front of me towards my office. I can’t resist, I have to see her walk from behind. With every step her perfectly pert ass moves from side to side. I would kill to bend her over my desk, to spread those cheeks and Stop. No. I need to stop. She’s just like any other patient that walks through my door. Never mind that her long blonde hair would be perfect to

grip onto, or that her body is slim and tight, just how I like it. It doesn’t matter. This is work, and I’m not going to mess this up for anything. I open the door to my office and let her walk in in front of me, motioning to a chair beside my desk for her to sit in. She sits down and turns towards me expectantly. Her eyes are the deepest blue I’ve ever seen. They’re clear and sparkling and the burrow into me like laser beams. She’s taking my breath away. I can’t help but look down as she crosses her long legs, hips hugged by her tight jeans. I clear my throat, glancing down at her file in front of me. “Valerie,” I say in my most official Doctor Voice. “What can I do for you?”

Chapter 5 - Valerie

This is my worst nightmare. Not only is this doctor male, he’s absolutely gorgeous. It looks like he just walked out of some calendar dedicated to sexy doctors. This could not be worse. How am I supposed to talk to him about orgasms?! He called my name in the huskiest, sexiest voice I’ve ever heard. When I turned and saw him it took all my self control to stop my jaw from falling to the floor. I can’t do this. This was a bad idea. He’s got this short brown hair that’s styled in a messy, tousled way. His dark brown eyes are hard to look away from. I’m sitting beside his desk now, wondering how I’m going to find the words to tell him what’s wrong with me. He’s looking over a file that I assume has my information, and I can’t help sweep my eyes over his body. He’s wearing this pale purple button down shirt tucked into his black pants. It fits him perfectly, and I can’t help but wonder what his body looks like. He definitely keeps in shape, I can tell by the way the fabric pulls around his biceps as he moves his arms.

I glance down at his crotch, I can’t help it. I don’t even know what I’m looking for. As soon as I look down, I look away. He’s looking at me. Oh my God. Did he see that? Why would I do that! I can feel my cheeks burning when he bores into me with those dark eyes. He’s got such thick lashes, any girl would kill for them. Is he smirking? I take a deep breath and try to calm myself. This is okay. He’s a professional, and I’m a professional, and I have a medical issue and I need his help. It’ll be a fifteen minute consultation and then I’ll be on my way. “So what can I do for you, Valerie?” He asks. His voice is like butter. I can feel the warmth pooling between my legs every time he says my name. I need to work up the nerve for this. “Well, I’ve just moved to the area and need a new physician. I haven’t had a physical in a few years so I thought it would be a good opportunity to find a new doctor. You know, just to.. Get to know the right one.” What am I even saying? Stop talking! My heart is beating out of my chest. “No problem, Valerie. Let’s get started. Can I call you Valerie?” I nod. “My friends call me Val,” I respond instinctively.

Real smooth, Val. He glances up at me and smiles. His whole face lights up when he smiles and my heart beats a little bit faster. “Does that make us friends now?” Did he just wink? I chuckle, trying not to sound as nervous as I feel. I’m like a thirteen year old girl right now, all giggles and blushes. I need to get it together! I’m a grown woman and he is a doctor, a professional. He grabs a light from his breast pocket and holds it up. “Now just stare straight ahead, look at the space right between my eyes.” I try to keep my eyes steady as he moves the light around. I try not to let my gaze wander but he’s got to be the best looking doctor in all of New York. He jots a few words down on my chart and I use the time to rake my eyes over his body. He’s fit, and the way his clothes pull against his muscles is making me blush. It looks like he’s made of muscle. He turns back towards me and I glance at the floor, embarrassed. Stop staring at him! He grabs a wooden tongue depressor and tells me to open my mouth. I open my mouth and slide my tongue out slowly. My heart beats faster and I realise I actually like being in this position in front of him. Mouth open, tongue out, ready for him to do what he needs to do. My eyes flick up to his and I see

he’s looking right at me and his stare burns a hole through me. I feel a thrill in my centre, a warmth in my core as he looks into my eyes with my mouth open for him. Is he thinking what I’m thinking? I can feel the blood rushing towards the pit of my stomach and my heart beats a little bit faster. It feels like we look at each other a second too long, and then his eyes flick down to my mouth, putting the tongue depressor down and shining a light down inside. I take a deep breath and try to calm my nerves. He directs me to move to the examination table. The white paper crunches as I sit down onto it. He motions for me to lay down and I swing my legs over, laying down on the blue plastic bed. “I’m going to use my hands to palpate your abdomen, just to make sure everything is normal with your internal organs. Is that okay?” I nod. He raises his hands and I close my eyes as he moves them from one corner of my abdomen to the other. He presses gently, and I can feel the warmth of his hands through my clothing. I wonder what his hands would feel like on my bare skin, or what they would feel like between my legs. My mind wanders as he touches me, and once again I feel a warmth growing under his hands. Everywhere his hands touch leaves a trail of sparks and I struggle to keep my breath steady. I’m trying

to pretend like this isn’t the sexiest physical I’ve ever had. “Okay, looks good to me. I’m just going to listen to your lungs now.” His voice is professional, sharp. My eyes shoot open and I try once again to rein in my thoughts. “Can you please sit up for me?” He grabs the stethoscope around his neck and places the earbuds into his ears. I take a deep breath. He’s going to hear my heart hammering at a hundred miles an hour. This is ridiculous. He’s attractive, fine. He’s also a doctor and I’m here for a checkup. A checkup and a certain... delicate question. This has got to be the longest physical examination in the history of physical examinations. I sit up and wait for him to move towards me, trying in vain to control the pounding in my chest.

Chapter 6 - Clay

I take my stethoscope and move it towards her, trying to ignore the twinge of my cock as the blood rushes to it. I can feel it hardening against my pants, and I hope that she hasn’t been able to tell. I know she saw me watching her when she opened her mouth. I’d love to examine that mouth again. She jumps a bit when the stethoscope touches her skin. It’s always cold against bare skin. I’m standing by the examination table, looking down at this beautiful woman sitting in front of me. I have a perfect view of her breasts from where I’m standing, with the stethoscope just at the very top of them. I’m careful not to touch her bare skin, or to make any moves that might be considered unprofessional. That look earlier before the tongue depressor was toeing the line. “Now take a deep breath for me,” I say. She breathes deep, and I move the stethoscope to the other side. Her heart is beating fast, she must be nervous. I don’t blame her. My own heart is beating hard as I move a bit closer to her. I place the stethoscope on her skin again and see

how the top of her breast depresses from the weight of the instrument. Her skin looks soft, and her breasts look even softer. I want to touch her skin, but I won’t. I can’t. I move the stethoscope to her back and slide it down between her tank top and her skin. If only I could slide my hands against her skin and pull this shirt off her. I’d love to get a good look at her body, lie her down and let my hands loose all over her. She sits up a bit straighter, and I can still hear how fast her heart is beating. I can smell her from here, she smells fruity and sweet. A little bit like roses. I want to inhale deeply and fill my nose with her scent but I resist. I’m at work. This is my job, my dream. I can’t let one pretty blonde girl mess anything up for me. I step away from the examination table and she swings her legs over the side. I turn away towards my desk, not wanting to have any more looks exchanged between us. “Good! Lungs sound fine. Your heartbeat is quite fast though, have you ever had any problems with your heart?” I glance up at her and see her cheeks flush. I can’t help but smile. Maybe she’s feeling what I’m feeling. “Are you nervous?” I ask slowly. She flicks those blue eyes up towards my face and I feel the

twinge in my cock again. “I… yes. I’m nervous. I have.. a problem.” She’s speaking so slowly, hesitating with almost every word. I wait patiently, sitting at my desk. Sometimes it’s better to say nothing and let the patient tell you what they need to say. She looks up at me and when I say nothing, she continues. “I… I can’t… I haven’t been able to…” She trails off. Still, I say nothing. She looks at me with those clear blue eyes and I see something else growing inside her. A resolve, fierceness. Fire burns in her eyes as she squares her shoulders and lifts her chin up. Then, finally, she blurts out what she’s been trying to say. “I can’t come. I mean, I’ve never orgasmed.” I was not expecting that. My cock springs up and I am eternally grateful to myself for placing her file on my lap when I sat down. I try to ignore the throbbing sensation as I process what she’s just told me. She’s never had an orgasm! I can’t think of a thousand ways I could help her with that. I swallow, struggling to keep my Doctor Voice in check. “Okay, that’s actually quite common for women. Ten to fifteen percent of women have trouble orgasming. Most of the time it’s mental, but sometimes there can be physiological causes. Have you tried,” I pause, trying to ignore how hard my cock is getting at the thought. “Have you tried...

pleasuring yourself?” “Many, many times,” she responds. She sounds frustrated, and she’s staring at me intensely. I try to ignore the mental image of Valerie Brooks on her back, playing with herself. Many, many times. Doctor Voice. “And have you tried using an aid?” “An aid?” She frowns. I gulp. “A vibrator. Or any type of toy. They can be quite helpful for many women.” She breathes in, understanding what I mean. “Actually, no. I haven’t. I’ve always been too nervous to go and buy one.” I nod, trying to keep my face and voice steady and ignore the raging hard cock in my pants. Am I really going to prescribe a vibrator to a patient? Is this real life? “Okay, no problem. Here’s what we’ll do. I’ll write down some of the toys that we recommend here.” I turn towards my desk, trying to pretend that these aren’t just the vibrators I’ve enjoyed using on the women I’ve been with, or vibrators I’ve enjoyed watching women use on themselves. I pull out my prescription pad and jot down a few names. “They’re available online, so you can order them directly to your house. Usually they have discreet

packaging so it shouldn’t be embarrassing when the postman comes. Just try to relax and let go of the stress. Light some candles, get in the mood before you start.” This seems so wrong, to be talking about setting the mood when we’re sitting in my start white office, surrounded by medical examination materials. I desperately want to help her orgasm right here, right now. My eyes flick to my exam table and I think about what her ass would look like if I bent her over it right now. I look back at her and then glance down at her file, trying to pretend to read it. “In case that doesn’t help, I can do a full hormone panel and see if anything is unusual there.” She takes a deep breath, seems relieved. She nods. I hand her the small square sheet of paper with the names of my favourite sex toys, and call in the nurse to help me with the blood sample for her hormone test. I start typing, writing up my report and prepping for the blood sample and finally, finally my cock relaxes. I’m back to work, doing what I love. Doing what I’m meant to do. I can put this sexy blonde woman out of my mind and move on with my life.

Chapter 7 - Valerie

Thank goodness that’s over. I breathe in deeply as I walk out of the doctor’s office and into the fresh air outside. I feel like I’ve just run a marathon. I feel sweaty and tired and clammy, and I can tell that my panties are soaked through. That could not have been more uncomfortable. I glance down at the sheet of paper in my hand. He said these were his usual recommendations, and that it was quite common for women to have this problem. I must not be the first to come in with this issue. That makes me feel better. If other people have had this problem then it’s more likely that I’ll find a solution. I take another deep breath and head towards my car. I have all afternoon, maybe I’ll look some of these toys up online. I pull up my phone and call Emma. I hope she’s awake. She answers on the second ring. “Emma. You will not believe what just happened. I’ve just been to the doctor.” “Yes? And??” She asks excitedly. “What did she say? Can they help you?” “HE took some blood samples for a hormone

test,” I answer, emphasising the he. “He also gave me a prescription.” “Oh yeah, what’s it for?” “It’s a prescription for a vibrator.” I answer drily. Emma’s laugh bubbles over through the phone. I can’t help but smile along with her. “Em, I wish you’d been there. It was just my luck that my doctor is quite possibly the sexiest man I’ve ever seen. He’s tall and has these eyes, they just pierced through me. And his voice is all husky. I couldn’t focus. He did a full physical and honest to goodness I feel like my orgasm problems were almost solve then and there.” She’s still cackling and I join in. “It was probably the worst possible scenario I could have imagined. I’m all hot and bothered and then I have to tell this guy that I can’t come! There was this moment, where he told me to open my mouth for that whole tongue depressor thing and honestly I thought it was the start of a porno or something.” Emma hasn’t stopped laughing, and I finally feel like I can relax. The stress and awkwardness of the situation dissolve and I laugh with her. “What do they even look at with that tongue depressor?” She asks between giggles. “I have no idea, but when your doctor is stupidly sexy, it’s very uncomfortable.”

We laugh some more and I feel much better. “So are you going to get a vibe? What did he recommend? Haven’t I been telling you to get one?!” “Yeah well I guess it just took a sexy stranger doctor to convince me,” I laugh. “I’ll look them up this afternoon and order one. I guess then it’s just a matter of seeing what the hormone test shows.” “Well maybe just think of him when you test out your new toy, he seems to have had a positive effect on you. I haven’t heard you this excited in months!” She’s laughing, and I’m eternally grateful to have her as a friend. Otherwise I know I’d be replaying that appointment over and over in my head and probably convince myself not to order any of the vibrators. I change the subject. “What about you, any developments after your escapades last night?” “Nah, it’s only been a few hours since I left this morning. I gave him my phone number so I guess it’s just a matter of waiting to see if he texts. I’ve just been laying in bed in and out of sleep, trying to recover. I’m going to be sore for days.” I laugh. She’s definitely not shy with her words. I love it though, she’s gotten me out of my shell many times. I used to be almost cripplingly shy and I don’t think I’d have been as successful at work if she hadn’t helped me open up.

“Did you get his information? Maybe you can text him later.” “No, I just left my number with him as I was leaving this morning. I’m not too worried, after a night like that I don’t see how he couldn’t want more!!” I smile. I’d love to have her unshakeable confidence. We hang up the phone and I get in my car and drive to my favourite coffee shop. I deserve a nice coffee and a fresh pastry after a morning like that. I sit at a table in the sun outside the cafe and order a latte and a fresh danish. The barista brings them out and smiles at me. I lean back in my chair and relax, sipping the hot drink and closing my eyes. Maybe things aren’t so bad, and I’ll be able to find a solution to this problem. That’s the first time I’ve been attracted to anyone since my breakup, so that must mean I’m moving on. I pull up my phone and start looking up the products that Doctor O’Neill wrote down for me. All of a sudden my screen flashes with what look like huge purple penises. In shock I lock my phone reflexively and slam it on the table. I breathe in and try to angle my phone away from anyone that might be walking by. I glance around before unlocking my phone again. I scroll through slowly, looking at different options.

He wrote down four toys for me. The first three look huge, and seem to have a million settings. I can’t imagine using that on myself. They have bells and whistles and bits hanging off them, and it sounds like the move in circles and vibrate and do a thousand things at once. That’s too much for me. At least it’s too much for my first one. I need something a bit less… intimidating. I don’t think a big purple vibrating dildo is sexy, and I doubt it’ll help me have my first orgasm. The fourth option is a bit slimmer. It isn’t shaped like a penis, it’s just a smooth curve with a white handle. I read the reviews and am pleased to see it’s highly recommended. It has a few different settings but seems simple enough. Before I know it I’m entering my credit card information. My heart is beating fast again, I’m excited. I tick the option for overnight shipping. If it gets me off, it’s worth the extra $14.99.

Chapter 8 - Clay

I get home and collapse onto my bed. I can’t stop thinking about her. Valerie. Val. She’d been so unintentionally sexy in the way she moved and talked. And then I saw the fire in her eyes right before she asked the question that must have been plaguing her for years. I can’t help but wonder if she’s ordering one of the vibrators I suggested. If she’s playing with herself. My mind wanders with that image, thinking of her laying down with her new vibrator. Maybe she’s thinking of me, I know she was thinking the same as me when she opened her mouth and slid out that sexy tongue. I’d do anything for the chance to give her an orgasm. There’s no way she’d be able to resist. She was already like putty under my hands, and my skin hadn’t even touched hers. The most I’d done was palpate her abdomen for all of ten seconds. I think about those ten seconds, the way my hands moved over her flat stomach, and the way she just stared up at the ceiling. Her small, perky

breasts fell back to either side of her chest and I fought the impulse to stare at them, to memorise their shape. I wanted her to make eye contact with me but I was glad when she didn’t. I need to stop thinking about her. This doesn’t happen. This isn’t me. I need a cold shower. I stand up and empty my pockets onto my side table. There’s a paper there, with some scribbles on it. I pick it up and remember this morning, when the curly haired girl with the big red lips gave her my number. She wrote her name, Emma, with a little heart after her number. I crumple the paper with one hand and toss it into my garbage can. I most definitely will not be calling her. It was fun but I’ve got no desire to see her again. I think of the last few women I’ve been with, the women I’ve picked up at bars and clubs and even the grocery store. I can’t imagine sleeping with any of them. Something seems different inside me. I take off my clothes and jump in the shower with the intention of going straight to bed once I’m clean. I need to sleep. I need to get this girl out of my head and I need to focus on myself. On my career. On my goals. Today was a blip, a mistake. I can’t let myself get carried away like that. Getting a hard-on at work is so unprofessional it’s not even funny.

The water washes over me and I stand under the shower head with my eyes closed. I’ve had so many gorgeous women practically throw themselves at me in my office and I’ve never been anything less than professional. I don’t understand why this one is different. Even the way she moves and walks seems so fluid and natural. I can’t understand how she’s never had an orgasm because every pore of hers seems to exude sex. I think of the way she looked at me when she opened her mouth and stuck out her tongue. She had to have been thinking the same thing as me, had to have been. Her eyes left nothing to the imagination. The minute I think of her open mouth my cock gets hard. The water from the shower is running down my chest, down my abs and dripping off the end of my half-hard cock. I shouldn’t do this but I can’t stop myself. I think of her eyes, her lips, the way her lips parted and her tongue slid out slightly for me. Maybe she’d do that for me, on her knees in front of me. I grab my cock and it’s already harder than rock. I start stroking myself, putting my other hand on the shower wall for balance. The water is running down my back as I stroke myself faster and faster. I remember the way her smell filled my nostrils when I was next to her. I want to smell that again,

to be surrounded by her scent. I think of how she looked when she sat on the edge of the examination table and told me she’d never come. The look in her eyes that was pure determination and stubbornness and fire. All I wanted to do was rip her tight jeans off and shove my face between her legs right then and there. I want to be the one to make her come. I want to show her how good it can feel. I want to hear what her sexy little voice sounds like when she’s screaming my name, or what it feels like to have her hands threaded into my hair, pushing my face into her slit. I bet she’s never had someone who truly enjoys the taste of her pussy. She must taste so good. The thought of her juices on my tongue makes my balls tighten up towards my shaft. I feel my orgasm start in the pit of my stomach and all of a sudden it’s ripping through me and I can’t help the guttural scream I make as I come. I feel every inch of my body twitch and tingle as my orgasm grows and fades. I’m breathing heavily, water still running all over my body. I close my eyes and let the water wash over me. I don’t remember the last time I came that hard, and that was just at the thought of her. I open my eyes and know that I can’t see her again. If she makes another appointment I’ll have to pass her on to another doctor. There’s no way I

can be in the same room as her if I want to be a true professional. It’s the only way. I clean myself up and step out of the shower. I walk to my bed and lay down, hoping that sleep will take me far, far away from Valerie Brooks. One night only with women, and no sex anywhere near my work. I have these rules for a reason, and I know she’s not worth the trouble. I close my eyes and Valerie Brooks’ face is painted on my eyelids. Mouth open, tongue out, eyes on fire.

Chapter 9 - Valerie

It’s Sunday, and I wake up and practically jump out of bed. My package should be arriving today, since I paid for the overnight delivery. I try to keep the thought out of my mind. When I think about my new toy I think about Doctor O’Neill, and that’s not a road I want to go down. Yesterday was too embarrassing, I’m not used to not being in control of my emotions or my body that way. I get up and make myself a cup of coffee. I need to distract myself. I know I’ll have at least thirty to forty email to catch up on. Saturdays are big viewing days and are usually one of the busiest days of the week. Taking the day off yesterday was nice, as eventful and stressful as it was, but I need to use today to catch up on work otherwise Monday will be a nightmare. I fire up my laptop and open my emails. Sure enough, I have 42 unread emails. I start at the bottom, working my way up chronologically. I click on the first email and my eyes glaze over immediately as I glance at a reminder that the fridges at the office are emptied weekly on Friday

evenings. I quickly click the delete button as my thoughts flick to yesterday. To Doctor O’Neill. He was so manly, so raw. I remember the way the cloth from his shirt brushed against my skin when he put the stethoscope on my back. It was like fire trailing in a line down my spine. I wanted to feel his hands, feel the warmth of his skin against mine. I wanted to know what his body looked like under those clothes. I shake my head. No. He’s my new doctor, I absolutely cannot be having these thoughts. He was nothing but professional for the entire consultation. It was me who was a puddle of desire. He heard my heart hammering in my chest and saw my cheeks blushing whenever I looked at him. He could probably read me like a book, and was probably laughing at me right now. The orgasmless girl who can’t control herself around an attractive man. I get up and pace across my kitchen. I’m not usually like this. When I sell a million-dollar house to some big shot, I’m never intimidated by them. I can close any deal. I’ve had countless rich, attractive men try their luck with me but I’m always unfazed. My colleagues have gone as far as to call me a shark! I don’t understand why this was different, why I

had so little control over myself. Maybe it was because he caught me at my most vulnerable, but he’s my doctor, for crying out loud. If I can’t tell him what’s wrong with my then who would I talk to?! It doesn’t matter that his eyelashes perfectly frame his eyes and he has this dark, brooding look about him. Every time he looked at me I just wanted to press my lips against his and see what he tasted like. I go back to my computer. When I throw myself in my work I can get anything out of my mind. I click on an email with an interesting subject line: “Leads you might be interested in.” It’s from another agent I get along well with. I open the email up and read through quickly. There are a few attached photos of a beautiful SoHo loft, not yet on the market. If it goes on the market it’ll be gone within two or three days, judging by the photos and the location. He says if I know of any buyers, the sale is mine. I check the address listed in the email and grab my car keys. I always do a drive-by of any property, just to be sure there aren’t any glaring problems. It would probably be faster to take the subway, but I know a drive will distract me. I hop in my car and head towards the address. It’s such a beautiful part of Manhattan and I always love when I get to sell there. I drive through the busy streets and wind my way through

the city. As usual, it’s abuzz with life. I make it to the address and see a beautiful old building that’s been restored to perfection. I park up across the street and check my phone. Apparently the place is a huge loft with one bedroom, worth upwards of 3 million. I have a walk around the block to see some of the amenities nearby. I’m happy to see shops, restaurants, galleries, a school all within walking distance. I spend thirty minutes wandering around, getting to know the area so I can sell it when the time comes. I always like to be prepared, but if I’m honest this thing will sell itself. I stop in at a coffee shop on the opposite corner from the building and order a latte. I take a sip as I step outside. It’s good. Just another little perk of coming back here to sell this place. Satisfied, I jump back in my car and head towards home. I can feel the excitement of an impending sale. This is what I’m good at. I love the hum of a sale and the rush I get from closing a deal. This property is in a gorgeous location, perfect for a number of the rich young professionals I deal with. I have a buyer in mind already, and I can’t wait to show it. I feel like myself again as I drive back home, composing my response to my colleague in my head as I drive. I practically run up the stairs to my tiny

apartment and almost trip over the box placed at the front door. I look down, confused for a second until the last 24 hours come rushing back to me. I pick up the small box and am surprised at how light it is. It’s my new toy, or “aid” as the doctor called it. I think of Doctor O’Neill, and how he’d looked at me right before sticking the tongue depressor in my mouth. The heat between my legs erupts all of a sudden at the thought of his dark eyes drilling into me. All of a sudden the clarity of my drive is gone and I’m nervous again. I hate this feeling. I won’t let myself be dragged down like this! I square my shoulders and walk into my apartment, closing the door behind me. I am a confident, successful young woman and I can do this. Most women have vibrators and most women have orgasms! I tear open the brown packing box and look at the sleek packaging for my new vibrator. It’s black with silver indented lettering on it. “Girl’s Best Friend” The top of the box lifts off and my heart beats a bit faster. It’s smoother than I imagined, almost soft when I lift it out. It’s about six inches long with a plastic white handle. The rest of it is a bright pink colour. It doesn’t look like the other vibrators I’ve seen, it’s a lot less intimidating. I press one of the buttons and it starts vibrating in my hand. I panic, pressing another button to make it stop.

I giggle and press the button again, three times this time to see how hard the vibrations get. They travel up my arm and down my core until I can almost feel them in my centre. I drop my bag and head to my bedroom, ready to see if it really is a Girl’s Best Friend.

Chapter 10 - Clay

I’m going crazy. I just woke up and looked out my window and could have sworn I saw Valerie Brooks walking out of my local cafe and into a car. I know from her file that she lives nowhere near SoHo, so either she was on the opposite end of town for some strange reason or I’m seeing visions of her. I’m guessing it’s visions. It must have been another leggy blonde. I couldn’t even see her face, how could I know it was her! I’m obviously reeling from yesterday. I shouldn’t have thought of her in the shower like that, it only made her front and centre in my mind. But that girl at the coffee shop moved as gracefully and fluidly as Valerie had yesterday. What if it was her? Maybe I’ll run into her outside the office, and if I pass her onto another doctor, then technically my golden rule wouldn’t be broken…. I take a deep breath. Just because I wouldn’t be breaking my rules on a technicality doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.

I’m dreaming anyways! Why would Valerie Brooks be buying coffee from my local cafe! There are eight and a half million people in New York, there’s no way she would be buying coffee from my neighbourhood cafe on a Sunday morning. I need to get this girl out of my head and focus on my rules. Nothing gets in the way of work, especially not women. I turn away from the window and run my fingers through my hair. Last night is the first Saturday night in months that I haven’t brought a girl home. I look at my empty bed and take a deep breath. I need to clear my head, this has already gone on too long. I slip on my gym shorts and a t-shirt and head downstairs. Running will clear my head. I put my headphones on and walk out into the Sunday morning sun. It’s actually pretty nice to be up a bit earlier and not have to kick a girl out of my bed. There aren’t any scribbled phone numbers to chuck out this morning. I zone out a few minutes into my run, and the emptiness in my head is like a sweet release. There’s just me and the pavement and the wind blowing past me. For the first time since she stepped into my office yesterday I’m able to calm my chaotic thoughts and refocus myself. This is me. I’m disciplined and driven and am not

distracted by something as trivial as a woman. Step by step, mile by mile, I distance myself from yesterday. My heart is pounding and I’m sweaty and I feel better already. I’m running fast but I feel like my world has finally stopped spinning around me. I’m in control again. I round the final corner back towards my apartment when the music in my headphones stops and my ringtone fills my ears. I slow down and pull my phone out of my shorts pocket, looking at the caller ID. It’s my real estate agent. “Chris, how are you?” I ask as I take the call. “I’m great, Clay, real great. Sorry to call you on a Sunday but I just wanted to keep you in the loop. I put out some feelers about your property and the top sales agent in the area has said she has a buyer in mind who would snap it up in an instant.” I pause. This is good news. I wanted to get rid of my apartment in New York to give myself the money and mobility to move to Seattle, where the top cardiologist is located. This will give me way more financial freedom. This is the goal I’ve been working towards. This sale is the first step to reaching that goal. So why am I not excited? I feel a pang of disappointment and an image of Valerie Brooks sitting on my examination table flashes through my mind. I shake my head. “Wow, Chris, that’s good news. Thanks for the

call, I really appreciate it.” “No problem Clay. I’ll try to set up a viewing for this week, if that works for you.” “Sounds good, let me know and I’ll have the place ready. Talk to you soon.” I hang up the phone and stand still for a moment. I feel like the ground has fallen away under my feet and I don’t even know why. I can’t stop thinking about her, seeing her in my mind. I haven’t even had a real conversation with her. She’s my patient! Slowly, I make my way back to my apartment. I look around at the loft that I refurbished myself ten years ago when I moved to New York. It’s worth about ten times as much as when I bought it, but I can’t help but think about all the work that’s gone into it over the years. I’ve done this myself, I think. I put myself through school and I practically built this apartment with my own hands. This is what I’ve been working towards, so why do I feel like it’s wrong? Every fibre of my being has been working towards one goal, and I’ve had a laser-like focus the entire time. And now… I’m back in the shower and I think of yesterday, being under this water thinking of Valerie. Val, as her friends call her. I won’t, I can’t think of her like that again. First thing tomorrow morning I’ll pass her on to another doctor at the practice and

forget she ever walked into my life.

Chapter 11 - Valerie

It’s a mix of excitement, nervousness, and embarrassment when I lie back in bed with my new toy. I don’t even know why I’m embarrassed, there’s no one else here. I’ve taken off my clothes and turned the lights off. I get under the covers and then change my mind and lie down on top of my duvet. I grab my new vibrator and feel the smoothness of the silicon shaft. I turn it on to the lowest setting and feel the vibrations in my hand, sensing how they travel up my arm. Here goes nothing, I think to myself. Slowly, gingerly, I move the vibrator down to my mound. I put it down on my clit but I jump back right away. It’s way too intense, even at the lowest setting. I move the vibrator back towards my skin, starting at the top of my mound and moving from one side of my slit to the other, staying on top of my lips. The vibrations travel through me and I close my eyes, exploring the sensation in every part of my body. It’s different, but not unpleasant. I

move the vibe closer to my slit and feel my legs fall open. I move it lightly all over my slit and now I understand. The vibrations travel deep into my centre and the warmth grows inside me. This is intense, in a good way. I lay back, relaxing as much as possible as I close my eyes. My free hand moves to my breast, massaging it gently as the vibrator makes slow circles. My thoughts flick to yesterday, to the way Doctor O’Neill smelled and how it felt to have his hands on my abdomen. I imagine what he must look like under his clothes, trim and muscular and strong. I know I shouldn’t think of him but I can’t help it. He filled me with a desire I didn’t know I had. I want to taste his lips and feel his skin against mine. I want his hands against my bare body, undressing me, pulling me into him. I felt the heat of his hands yesterday and I know they would be fire on me. He could bend me over, throw me around with that hard, muscular body of his. I turn the vibrations up as I think of him touching me, teasing me. The pleasure grows in my centre in a way I’ve never experienced and I sink deeper into it, imagining my doctor pushing me down on his examination table and spreading my legs. I’ve never felt immediate, raw desire the way I did yesterday and I want to feel it again. He’s touching my ass, pressing himself against me until

his scent fills my nostrils. I slip the vibrator inside me and imagine it’s him, and my pussy contracts around it. Around his cock. I can feel my orgasm budding. I breathe deeply, imagining the doctor’s hands running from my waist to my ass and then up to my shoulders as he pushes himself inside me. I can almost feel him, feel the heat of his cock inside me and the weight of his body on top of me. It’s something I didn’t know I wanted and now I can’t stop thinking about it. The warmth inside me grows as the vibrations get more intense, circling around my clit and through my slick wetness. I want this, I want my first orgasm to make my legs shake and I feel my heart beat faster. I’m imagining the doctor all over me, inside me, around me and I feel the warmth grow into a burning heat in my centre. I’m on the edge and I move faster, breathing hard as I run the toy over and back over my bud. It’s so close, I can feel it as I’m about to tip over the edge and feel it roar through me. And then. And then. Gone.

In an instant the heat dissipates and I feel empty. I open my eyes and bite my lip, trying for a few moments to get that feeling back. I move the toy over my most sensitive spot but the vibrations are too intense now and I have to stop. My bud feels almost raw but I feel like a piece of me is missing. I turn off my toy and let it fall to my side. I feel the tears pricking at the corner of my eyes as I stare once again at the ceiling. It was there! I felt it, so close, teetering on the edge of my first orgasm and once again it slipped through my fingers. I feel a teardrop slip out of my eye and onto the pillow and all of a sudden I’m sobbing. I can’t stand this! To be so close, to embarrass myself in front of the sexiest man I’ve ever seen and then think of him when I try to come. And for what, for nothing! I went through all that embarrassment, that shame, and I couldn’t even finish the job. My cheeks burn. My chest heaves and tears pour out of my eyes as the sobs rock from my stomach through my chest and the pain sears through me. I grab the vibrator beside me and look at it in disgust. I can hardly see it, my eyes are that blurry from the tears. My heart feels like it’s fallen into my stomach and my frustration bubbles up through me. I want to scream. I’m sick of feeling like this, of feeling inadequate

and incomplete. I raise my arm and hurl the stupid thing across the room. It hits the wall with a loud thud and falls to the ground. The impact against the wall turned it on again and I hear it buzzing loudly all over the floor, hopping around and taunting me and my inadequacies. I listen to it for a few moments as I cry a bit harder. My shoulders shake and I let myself feel the full weight of my failure. Finally the anger inside me subsides and with a deep breath I swing my legs over the side of the bed and try to stop my sobs. Slow, ragged breaths drag through me as I get up and pick up my vibe. I turn it off and gently place it on my nightstand before sitting down on the edge of my bed. I’m lost and alone. I don’t know what to do. I could live without orgasms for a long time but now it seems I’ve reached my breaking point, like a piece of me is missing. I don’t even know what that piece is.

Chapter 12 - Clay

It’s been a busy week and I’m thankful for it. Non-stop appointments including two days at the hospital shadowing one of the city’s top cardiologists. He’s excited for me to move to Seattle, says I’ve got a lot of promise. He knows the lead cardiologist out there and said he’d put in a good word for me to train under him. It’s a huge opportunity, everything I’ve been working for. I grit my teeth and say thanks as graciously as I can, even though I feel a pang in my chest when I think of the move. How can one appointment with a girl have such a big effect on me? The thought of moving used to excite me and now it just fills me with dread. I have a free moment between patients and I open my email. Straight away my eyes jump to the subject line of the most recent unread email: Test Results - Valerie Brooks. Every time I try to get her out of my mind I’m reminded of her somehow. I open the email and glance at it quickly, and before I can change my mind I forward it onto the practice’s gynaecologist.

Hi Sherry, Can you take a look at these results? Patient came in with complaints of trouble climaxing and it’s affecting her quality of life. I’d like to pass her on to you if you don’t mind? Clay I press send and let out a big sigh. Now as long as I don’t run into Val in the hallways I can rest assured I won’t see her again. It’s better this way. My move to Seattle is become more and more likely, and I can’t let anything distract me. I lean back in my chair and rub my face with my hands. Suddenly I feel exhausted and I wish it was later than 1pm. My phone rings. My real estate agent. Can I not get away from this move, this sale, and the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach?! I grab my phone to answer it. “Hey Chris, any good news?” “Yes! When are you okay with setting up a viewing? Does Saturday morning suit you?” “Saturday morning is perfect, thanks. I’ll have the house presentable by then.” When I hang up the phone I have to rest my

forehead in my hands. This is moving fast, very fast. A week ago I would have been jumping for joy but now I can’t help but feel like I’m missing something. It’s that woman and the look she gave me when she told me she had never had an orgasm. There was such grit and determination in her, nothing I would have expected from her. She seemed fragile and strong at the same time and all I wanted to do was go to her and feel her in my arms. I could have any woman in the city but all I can think about is her. I haven’t even been out to my usual pick-up spots since she came in. I need a distraction, and working myself to the bone isn’t cutting it. I pick my phone back up and text my best friend Dave. Davey what’s happening? We going on this weekend or what? I’ve had a hell of a week. As usual, he’s quick to respond. Within a few minutes my phone buzzes. Yeah bro! Can’t tonight but tomorrow night at the usual spot? Everything all good? Everything’s fine, just need a bit of fun in my life. See you then.

Friday night at The Rouge is usually packed to the rafters with attractive, available women. Just what I need to distract myself from a certain beautiful blonde. Dave will help, he’s always a great wingman and willing to have a good time. There’s a knock on the door and Liz pokes her head through. “Hey Doctor O,” she titters. “You need anything? I’m heading out for lunch.” “I’m good, Liz, thanks,” I respond without looking up. I’m not even enjoying flirting with her anymore. It used to be an easy distraction, a bit of fun during the day. She seems so relentless now and it almost feels like a chore. I sigh and resolve to just make it through these couple days. Once the week is over I’ll be okay and my head will be straight, and Valerie Brooks will be a blip in my rear-view mirror.

Chapter 13 - Valerie

“Hi, this is Doctor Sherry Sanders from the Medical One clinic, am I speaking with Valerie Brooks?” “Yes, speaking.” Her voice is clear and professional. She sounds like an older woman who’s used to dealing with people all day every day. “Hi Valerie, I understand you had an appointment with Dr. O’Neill last week. We’ve received your test results and I was wondering if you’d be free to discuss them with me?” “Oh, okay. Am I not seeing Dr. O’Neill?” I feel an unexpected shock in the pit of my stomach at her words. I had been looking forward to seeing him again, if only to redeem myself and not be a horny hot mess in his office. “No, I’m sorry I thought he would have discussed that with you. He passed your file on to me this morning. I’m the practice’s gynaecologist, so I specialise in this kind of issue. I apologise for the confusion. Would you be available to come in next week?”

“That should be fine.” I make the appointment and hang up the phone as soon as I can. He passed my file on, he must not have felt what I felt at all. My cheeks start burning in embarrassment. I’ve made a fool of myself in front of him, of course he would pass my file on. He probably doesn’t have time for silly girls coming in wasting his time like this. I opened up to him and made a fool of myself, and his response was to pass my file on so he wouldn’t have to deal with me. I wish the ground would open up and swallow me whole right now. Maybe he just passed on my file because she specialises in these issues, and it’s not because I was a blushing blubbering mess in his office. Yes, that’s it, I tell myself. I have to tell myself something to get over the burning embarrassment I feel from my stomach to my fingertips. I’d been looking forward to going back in and seeing his face again. I wanted another look at his eyes and another chance to act like myself around him. I’m self-assured and confident, usually. Usually. I guess I won’t get that chance now, I’ll be seeing another doctor. It might be for the best. How can I focus on his medical opinion when I’ve thought of him bending me over his examination table and having his way with me? I’m kidding myself, thinking I could walk in there like I haven’t

imagined what he looks like without a shirt on. The follow-up appointment would be worse than the first! I shake my head and look at my computer screen. Every time Doctor O’Neill pops into my head I have a hard time focusing at work. I’m very near the top of the sales board this month, if I just keep up my pace I’m going to be the top sales agent here. I can’t let something like a man get in the way, no matter how irresistibly sexy he may be. The viewing for the beautiful SoHo loft is scheduled for Saturday morning, so I guess I won’t be going out on Friday. It’s for the best, I guess. My phone rings again. “Em, what’s up?” “Val, you’ve been ignoring me!” Her voice is full of mock anger. Maybe she’s right, maybe I have been avoiding her. Ever since I tried and failed to successfully use my vibrator I’ve been dodging her texts and invitations to hang out. “I’ve just been busy with work Emma, how have you been?” “How have I been?! Well first of all I’ve been DYING to hear about your new vibrator!!” I get up and move away from my desk, afraid my coworkers will hear her through the phone. She’s practically shouting into my ear. I go around the corner and try to talk in a low voice. “Oh, that, yeah.. It didn’t work.”

“It’s broken? Did you send it back?” “No, no it’s not broken. It just… didn’t work.” There’s a silence on the line for a second and I jump in again to avoid bringing up the feelings from the other day. “What about you? Has that Sex God called you back yet?” “Not a fucking peep out of him!!!” she exclaims. “I can’t believe it! This doesn’t happen! We had the most mind blowing sex and then he just tosses me aside. I mean, I wasn’t expecting to get married or anything but I would have loved another roll around with him. It was that good!” “What a dick,” I respond. I hear the hurt pride in her words. It’s unusual for guys to leave her hanging. She’s used to being worshipped by the men around her. “An absolute dick!! I’m actually a little annoyed by it. Anyways, when are you free. I want to see you. Want to go for brunch on Saturday?” “I’m showing a house on Saturday but we could meet up after that? 1ish?” “You work too much, Val. One o’clock sounds perfect.” She sounded like that guy not calling her back actually upset her more than she let on. She’s been there for me since I broke up with my ex, maybe it’s time for me to return the favour with a little support. I’ve been too caught up in my own

problems this week. It’ll do me good to see her. It’s been a lonely week and my thoughts have been circling around Doctor O’Neil far, far too much. I probably won’t even see him again so it’s better I just forget about him. I just hope Emma doesn’t ask for too many details about my adventures with “Girl’s Best Friend.” Knowing her I won’t get away that easy though.

Chapter 14 - Clay

It’s finally Friday. The intercom in my apartment buzzes and Dave’s voice comes through the speaker “You ready to party?!?!” I chuckle. “Come up.” I buzz him up and turn to the mirror by the front door to touch up my hair. Messy in the best kind of way. I’m wearing my best tight white t-shirt and a pair of dark jeans. It’s casual but put together, just the way I like to be when I’m not in the office. Dave bursts through the door with a bottle of whiskey in one hand and a bottle of vodka in the other. “I haven’t seen you in weeks!!! We’re going hard tonight, Clay!” He brushes past me and drops the bottles onto the kitchen counter, heading straight for the glasses and ice. Dave’s the kind of guy who feels at home wherever he goes. We’ve known each other since college, and he hasn’t changed a bit. He’s always been a party animal, but somehow keeps his life together

through medical school and has been very successful at his plastic surgery practice. He breezed through his residency and is making a mint now. Somehow things always seem to go right for him, he has a natural charisma that people are drawn to. I smile as I watch him pour us drinks. This is just the distraction I need. “So what’s been happening Clay? Rough week?” “Yeah, busy mostly.” I run my fingers through my hair and rub the back of my neck before he hands me a drink. I take a sip and the liquid burns as it travels down my throat. I like the feeling though, it’s pain and pleasure in a glass. “Come on, man, you’re always busy. Something’s bothering you I can tell.” He knows me too well. I grin at him. “It’s a girl, isn’t it. Didn’t I tell you they were always trouble?” “Nah, it’s not like that. I mean, yeah, it’s a girl, but I dunno, I can’t make any sense of it. I don’t even know her, she just came into work last week and I can’t get her out of my head.” He’s staring at me as he sips his drink. “Did you fuck her?” He asks bluntly. “What? No! She was a patient. I didn’t even… I was professional. But Dave, you should have seen her. She’s blonde with these legs, and her ass - “ “She got under your skin, man. It happens,” he interrupts. “Here’s what we’re going to do. We’re

going to down a couple of these drinks and then we’re going to go to The Rouge and find you a hot little piece of ass and you can forget about this chick and how twisted she’s got you. Yeah?” I laugh and raise my glass. “Cheers to that.” Dave swallows his drink in one go. As the liquor enters my mouth I can’t help but feel less than enthusiastic about our plans. The thoughts of getting drunk and rubbing up against New York’s hottest singles just doesn’t seem so appealing tonight. But.. this is what I do! I pick up women and I fuck them and then I never call them again. There’s a reason for that, and the reason is that I’m moving and I’m going to be the best cardiologist in the country, and nothing can get in the way of that. I absolutely do not obsess over a woman I’ve met once in a professional setting. We didn’t even flirt! Unless you count one glance. Even the thought of that glance and her open mouth makes my cock twinge and I tip back my glass, downing the rest of the drink. I need to get her out of my head. “Fuck yeah!” Dave shouts and then pours us another drink. By the time we get to the club I’m definitely drunk. The taxi pulls up outside and we greet the bouncer with knowing nods. I look down the

lineup at the door, glancing at the women waiting to get in. They’re all dressed in short, tight clothing and they all look good, objectively speaking. My eyes glance from one to the other. I’m looking for her, I know I am. What the fuck is wrong with me! “I need a drink,” I shout to Dave over the music as we walk in the door. A wall of pounding music hits me and Dave looks back with a grin on his face. He points to the bar and we make our way to it. He orders us a couple of drinks and we turn around to case the room. There’s nothing less appealing than being in a loud club, surrounded by drunk people and flashing lights when you’d rather be with one person in particular. I need to stop thinking like this. I turn around and ask the bartender for two shots. Hangover tomorrow or not, I’m not going to think about her tonight. Dave slides over to two girls standing next to us at the bar. I hear him use his usual pick up lines and the girls respond, giggling. The redhead is giving me the eye, but I turn my back and order another drink. She’s not my type anyway. Dave looks over at me and frowns. He nods his head towards the girls and I know I’m messing up his pickup. I order another couple shots. The night turns into a blur. I’m turning down

girls that approach me until none of them even look at me. Dave has distanced himself, using my animosity to his advantage to make himself look like the Good Guy. I don’t give a shit. I’m drunk and I don’t care about any of these chicks. I’m not having fun. This was a bad idea. I need to go home.

Chapter 15 - Valerie

Today is important. If my buyer likes this property, it’ll be a nice little commission for me and it’ll skyrocket me to the top of the office’s sales board for the month. It’s the month before performance reviews which means I need to be on top of my game. Before I walk out the door I look at myself one more time in my full-length mirror. My navy blue pencil skirt hugs my hips just the way I like, and my cream blouse is tight with a lace neckline. My blazer cinches at the waist the way I like it to and I’ve done my hair in loose curls and my makeup is understated and flattering. I feel fierce and ready to close this deal. I tug at the bottom of my blazer and spin on my heels towards the door. It’s 9:30am, so I have more than enough time to meet up with the seller’s agent for the keys and then get to the property for the 11:00am viewing. I’ll stop at that coffee shop across the road beforehand, as a treat to myself after a hard week. I always like a quiet moment before a sale to get my head together.

When I step outside the sun is shining and I take a deep breath. This is good, and I can feel the familiar energy humming inside me when I’m about to try to sell. I love my job. I hop in my car and head to the other real estate agent’s office. “Chris, how are you?” I ask when I get out of the car. “Thanks again for the tip.” He’s waiting for me outside and shakes my hand warmly. “No worries, Val. It’s a stunner of a property, you’re gonna love it. The owner has done it all up himself over the past few years and he’s done an amazing job. You won’t find anything of this value in that location. Is your buyer serious?” “Would I be here if he wasn’t?” I retort. Chris smirks at me. “Just had to ask,” he winks. I grab the keys from him and turn towards my car. “You shouldn’t doubt me, Chris. They don’t call me the SoHo shark for nothing!” I grin at him. “I’d better head down there. All good for 11 o’clock with the owner?” “I’m just waiting on a call back now, he hasn’t answered his phone. We confirmed yesterday and there were no issues.” “And you’re giving me shit about my buyer being serious,” I say to him, rolling my eyes in an exaggerated motion. He laughs and waves me away.

I make it down to SoHo in time to have that coffee. I savour it on the small chair outside the cafe, waiting for my buyer to show up. I pull out my phone and text Chris. Got that confirmation from the owner yet? A minute later my phone buzzes All good. I finish the last few sips of my coffee when my buyer arrives. He pulls up in his white Lamborghini, parking directly in front of me like the spot was held for him. Some people are just lucky, I think. The driver’s side door opens and Marino steps out. He looks like he could be in the Sopranos, with slicked back hair and a pale pink button-down shirt with one too many buttons undone. His neck is adorned with a gold chain, and his protruding stomach betrays one too many pasta meals. “Val!” He says with his arms outstretched in greeting, million-dollar smile plastered all over his face. He swings his arm forward and grabs my outstretched hand in an enthusiastic handshake. Pumping my hand up and down a few times he smiles again. “Looking gorgeous as always, Miss Brooks,” he

continues. “So what’s this place like anyways?” “It’s not even on the market yet. I’m really excited about this one, I thought of you right away when I came across it. I think it would be a perfect little investment property for you.” We cross the road and head towards the building. I fumble with the keys that Chris gave me, trying two before getting the right one for the front door. We step through into a wide lobby. “So the building only has four units, and this one takes up the entire top floor on the third storey. It’s been refurbished beautifully over the past few years.” I keep talking, pointing out features as we walk towards the elevator. It comes easily to me, talking and selling and keeping people interested. We get into the elevator and I use the swipe key to get access to the top floor. The doors close and we start going up. My heart is beating unusually fast. I’m excited for this sale. Marino is one of my best buyers, always on the lookout for another investment property. He’s looking around with a knowing eye. He’s quiet, but I’ve come to learn that that’s a good thing. I’m glad that the owner confirmed the viewing this morning, Marino can be very fickle and I know it would have annoyed him to reschedule. The elevator door dings and we step through. “It’s just through here,” I say, fumbling with the

keys again. We’re standing in a long corridor, the walls are an old exposed brick. The door has been painted a sleek black colour with a simple number “4” hanging at eye level. There’s only one key left to use, so I slide it into the lock. It clicks effortlessly and I open the door, getting out of the way for Marino to step through. “Ladies first,” he says with a wink. Never heard that one before, I think with a tight smile. I step through to a large loft space. Chris wasn’t kidding, it’s been refurbished beautifully. The exposed brick runs along the entire side of the wall, and the front of the room is floor to ceiling windows. Bright white sun streams into the apartment, showing off the sleek and modern decor. It’s a large open plan space with the kitchen directly to the right and a living area straight ahead. Everything is white, sleek, granite, stainless steel. Exactly what you’d want if you were buying an upmarket loft in SoHo. Exactly my kind of place. I would love to live in a place like this, and I’m guessing whoever owns it is sad to see it go. I walk in and step aside, letting the property speak for itself. A few steps take me towards the living area. I notice a few dirty glasses on the coffee table and frown. As I get closer I notice an empty bottle of

whiskey lying on the floor next to the couch and my heart drops to my stomach. So much for the property being ready for viewing. The anger is bubbling up inside me and I make a mental note to mention it to Chris. If I’m going to be bringing through my best clients, the property needs to be spotless. Anything less than perfect is completely unacceptable. The buyers for these kinds of properties are turned off by the slightest imperfection, and it reflects badly on me as a professional. We walk around and Marino inspects the kitchen. He looks at me and nods. “It’s nice,” he says. He glances at the dirty dishes on the living room table. “And it’s... lived in,” he says with a chuckle. My cheeks burn slightly. “Sorry about that, the seller’s agent confirmed it was ready this morning, maybe the owner was in a hurry.” “It’s no problem Val, a few dishes doesn’t detract from the look of the place. I could definitely turn this into a moneymaker. There’s a separate bedroom?” “Separate bedroom with a huge bathroom and walk-in closet. You’re going to love it.” We take a few steps towards the closed bedroom door. My palms are sweating and my heart is beating unusually fast. Typically people don’t

leave their doors closed for a viewing, but this owner could just have different habits. Still, I’m more nervous than usual. I take a breath and plaster a smile all over my face for Marino’s benefit. I turn the handle and step through the door in one fluid motion. Oh. My. God. The scene that greets me is not the pristine multimillion dollar bedroom I was expecting. It’s a disaster. My eyes circle around the room and take in the scene. Marino is close behind me and I hear him make a wordless exclamation under his breath. There are clothes everywhere, like someone stumbled home and took all their clothes off and left them wherever they fell. The bed is a mess. There are pillows strewn all over the floor and it hasn’t been made. The room smells stuffy and is dark with the blinds closed. I take another step in. The horror spreads from my stomach up to my throat as the blankets start moving. Someone is in the bed. I’m frozen still, watching as the person starts

waking up. My shock turns to anger. I am seething. White hot fury is ripping through me. Chris lied to me! There’s no way he got confirmation the property was ready. I’m waiting for this good-for-nothing hungover irresponsible owner to wake up and see us. I can’t believe this. He’s going to ruin this sale for me. I can’t even turn away to look at Marino, my eyes are glued to the bed. Whoever is in it is moving a bit more now, clearly waking up. All of a sudden he makes a noise and jumps up, sitting in bed looking at us. “Who the fuck are you! Shit!” My jaw flies open. It can’t be him. I can’t believe this is happening. He’s rubbing his eyes and temples, clearly very, very hungover. Finally I take a deep breath and say the name that’s been at the front of my mind all week. “Doctor O’Neill?!”

Chapter 16 - Clay

“Val. What are you doing here?!” I’m dreaming of her again, except it’s not a dream this time. She’s fucking standing in my bedroom with some slick Sopranos wanna be. Why is she here? “Do you guys know each other?” Tony Soprano says in the exact meathead voice I expected of him. My head is pounding and I’m having trouble processing what’s going on. Valerie Brooks is standing in my bedroom with some guy. I feel a pang of jealousy seeing her there with him. She turns towards him and I can’t take my eyes off her. She looks so good, like that skirt was painted on her ass. She reaches up and touches his forearm and the anger flashes through me. I can’t think straight. What the fuck is going on! “Marino I am so, so sorry about this. I got the confirmation from his agent this morning it was ready to show but he obviously didn’t do his homework. I’m really embarrassed right now but if you’re still interested we can definitely

reschedule.” The viewing. I completely forgot. The realisation hits me like a train going at full speed. I try to get out of bed but stumble as I get up. I think I’m still a bit drunk because the floor wasn’t where I thought it would be. “Look, Val, I’m really sorry I completely forgot about this I’ll get out of your way you guys can have a look around,” I blurt out as I I try to get up. “Oh my God!” she exclaims as she looks at me and then turns away suddenly. Tony Soprano starts laughing. As if things are moving in slow motion, my confusion starts clearing when I feel the cold breeze over my ass. I look down and realise too late that I’m completely naked. My hands fly to cover my crotch and I stand frozen. I can feel the embarrassment burning through my body as I stand in front of them completely exposed. Valerie takes the meathead by the arm and ushers him out of my room. She grabs the doorknob and before she closes the door behind her she glances back at me. The fire burning in her eyes is pure anger. I can’t help but think about how good she looks, or how I wish she would look at me like that again. She slams the door behind her and I hear both their voices trail off as they leave the apartment. I lay back down in bed and put my hand on my forehead. My head is splitting. I feel like I’ve been

run over. What the fuck just happened! My phone is on the bedside table and I see seven missed calls from Chris. I’ve never felt like such an idiot. I turn my phone around and lay back in bed. If I ever thought I had a chance with Valerie I’ve definitely blown it now. She’ll never look at me again. I groan and turn around in bed, trying to forget this morning ever happened. At least I’ve passed her file on to Sherry and I won’t have to see her at the office again. Still, I secretly hope I do run into her. Maybe she’ll be wearing a skirt like she was today and I can watch her walk down the hallway and imagine what that ass would feel like in my hands. I groan at the thought of standing in front of her, hungover and naked. I try to piece together what happened last night. I remember Dave leaving me on my own at the bar, and just drinking one after another after another. I couldn’t stop thinking of Valerie and it was making me crazy. I couldn’t look at any other girls let alone talk to them. I sat on my own at the bar for ages. I have no idea how or when I got home, but by the look of my bedroom I wasn’t in great shape. As my eyes sweep across my room I feel another wave of embarrassment and shame wash over me. She was here, right in front of me and I’ve acted like

the biggest screw up in town. She’s seen me like this. Look at the fucking state of me! Her face was dripping with disgust when she looked at me and she didn’t even say a word to me, just turned around and walked out. At least I got to watch her walk away in that skirt for a few seconds. The thought of her face and the anger in her eyes makes my cock twinge. Maybe I can make it up to her. I’ve got to do something. I can get her phone number from her file at the office and apologise. That’s what I’ll do. I feel a bit better with a plan, so I lay back and try to close my eyes. The pounding in my head is not getting any better. Today is turning out to be a lot worse than I could have imagined.

Chapter 17 - Valerie

Marino just drove off in his Lamborghini and I let out a sigh. What a disaster. He wasn’t happy, clearly annoyed that his time was being wasted, and I don’t blame him. I tried to hold it together while he was here but the anger that I was controlling is about to erupt. I can feel my blood boiling as I think about what has just happened. The first call is going to Chris. He picks up on the first ring and answers with a cheerful voice that pisses me off even more. “How did it go? Didn’t I tell you it was - “ “Shut up Chris,” I interrupt. “You have no idea what the fuck you’ve just done. You told me the property was ready! You’ve just cost me this sale with your sloppiness!” “Wait what? Wasn’t it ready? I got the confirmation from the owner, was it dirty?” “You’re lying. You most definitely did NOT get the confirmation from the owner because I witnessed him waking up.” There’s silence on the line so I continue. “Yes, it was dirty. Bottles and glasses all over the place. He’d been out all night

drinking by the look of him. Not a fucking stitch of clothing on him either, Chris. Do you understand what I’m saying? I took my best client through a property only to find a drunken, naked man in the bedroom I’m trying to sell. How could you put me in that kind of position?!” “Val, I..” “Chris, just save it. That was my best client and you’ve just made me look like a fucking amateur. I cannot believe you’ve put me in that position. You know what, I gotta go.” I hang up the phone without waiting for a response. I’m shaking. How dare he lie to my face like that! If he was in front of me I could slap him. And the doctor! What a fucking state he was in! Drunk, naked, confused, completely irresponsible! I’m trying not to think about how good his body looked when he was standing there naked, better than I could have imagined. His chest and abs were chiseled and his arms look thick and strong. They looked like they’d feel really nice wrapped around me. And his cock… well, I don’t even want to think about that right now. I inhale and try to get the image out of my head. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that he’s cost me the biggest sale of the month and my spot as top sales agent. Not to mention my commission. I look over at the building, glancing up at the wall of windows. I’m still holding the keys. I look

down at the keychain in my hand and can feel my resolve strengthening. I’m still seething with anger, and he needs to know what he’s just done. He needs to understand that his actions have consequences, he’s not some college frat boy anymore. He’s a doctor, for crying out loud! How irresponsible can you be! My righteous anger demolishes any hint of shyness in me. I march across the street and let myself into his building. He’s not getting away with this without getting a piece of my mind.

Chapter 18 - Clay

I must have dozed off into a half-sleeping hungover state because I jump at the sound of banging on my front door. It stops, so I sit up and listen for a few seconds. It starts again and I hear her voice. “Doctor O’Neill! Open the door.” More banging. “Doctor O’Neill! I need to talk to you. Now!” She came back? I jump out of bed and pull on some boxers, hopping from foot to foot to get them on. I’m still pulling them up when I get to the front door. With a deep breath I turn the knob and open the door. She bursts past me in a flurry of anger and blonde hair. I catch the sweet smell of her perfume, the same one she was wearing at her appointment. I close the door and turn around. She’s squaring off in front of me. Her eyes are shooting daggers at me and her fists are balled up. I can’t help but look her up and down and notice how good her body looks in that suit. She takes a deep breath and I wait for the yelling. She surprises

me by speaking in a low, even voice. It’s almost worse than getting yelled at. “How dare you,” she starts. “Do you have any idea what you’ve just done? What you’ve cost me?” Her eyes are blazing, burning holes through me. Suddenly I wish I was wearing more than just my boxers. “Val, I’m sorry.” “Don’t fucking call me Val,” she snaps. “My name is Valerie. Miss Brooks to you. We are absolutely not on familiar terms.” Her blonde hair is bouncing with every word. Her cheeks are flushed and I’m finding it hard to look away from her eyes. It’s the same determination I saw in my office when she told me she had never had an orgasm. Except this time, her look is spiked with vitriol, and it’s directed fully at me. “I would expect a professional like yourself to understand the importance of keeping appointments,” she spits at me. “You’ve just cost me my most important client, and for what! To go out partying all night?! How old are you?!” She pauses and I wait for her to speak again. My silence seems to enrage her even more. Then she sighs and her shoulders seem to deflate. She turns around and marches to my sofa, collapsing down onto it. She lifts those long legs and places her feet

on my coffee table. Her head is in her hand as she looks out the window at the street below us. I don’t know what to say, so I walk over slowly and pick up the glasses and bottle that Dave and I left here last night. She’s right, this is completely embarrassing and unprofessional. She has a right to be mad. I bring the glasses to the kitchen and get us both glasses of water. When I hand it to her she accepts it without a word and takes a gulp. I sit down on the couch across from her. “Listen, Valerie.” I pause. “Miss Brooks. I don’t know what to say.” How could I begin to tell her I tried to get obliterated last night just to get her out of my head? That’s going to sound like total bullshit if I try to explain. She’s got those blue eyes drilled on me now and all I want to do is pull her over to my sofa and crush my lips against hers. I want to rip that skirt off her and grab her perfect ass. “I have no excuse, and I’m sorry,” I continue. “If there’s anything I can do to - “ She takes a deep breath and holds up her hand. “Look, thanks. I don’t even know why I’m here. I’m sorry to barge in like this.” Her voice is softer and she looks away from me, staring off out the window again. Her neck is long and graceful, and the way the sun is hitting her face makes it look like she’s glowing. I’ve never seen a woman like this

before. She’s tough and successful, obviously, but there’s a softness to her that makes me want to touch her. My hands are aching for her. I can feel my cock twitching in my boxers and I will myself to get up and look away from her. I need to get some pants on. When I walk back into the living room, fully clothed this time, she’s standing and walking towards the front door. I rush towards her. She can’t leave yet! “Where are you going? I mean.. Can I make it up to you?” She turns on her heels and looks at me, eyes narrowing. There’s a glint in them that I don’t recognise. “I’m going home, Doctor O’Neill. And then I’m going to go to lunch with my best friend and I’m going to tell her exactly what your penis looked like when you fell over trying to get out of bed.” What did she just say? My mouth drops open and once again she’s rendered me speechless. The glimmer in her eye makes me want her even more. We stand still in front of each other. She raises an eyebrow, waiting for me to respond. The corner of my mouth twitches up into a smile. “Call me Clay,” I finally say. “I think seeing me naked qualifies us for first name basis.” “Alright, Clay.” She pauses, as if she’s tasting

the way my name feels on her tongue. “I guess we can go with Val for now. But you’re on probation,” she says, pointing her long finger at me. I like the fire in her. She relaxes now, tucks her hair behind her ear and undoes the button on her blazer with a sigh. Her body looks incredible. She’s wearing a tight top that makes her tits look perky and gorgeous, right above her small waist. In a second, before I know what I’m doing I’ve crossed the distance between us and wrapped her in my arms. My heartbeat fills my ears as I tangle my fingers into her hair and tilt her head up. In an instant I’m crushing my lips into hers. Her mouth opens and my tongue explores her, tasting how sweet and soft she is. I pull her into me and nothing matters except the way her smell surrounds me and the way she tastes and feels in my arms. It’s more than I could have imagined. My cock is rock hard, and I don’t think it’s ever felt this good to hold a woman close to me. I want this moment to last forever, and I run my hand from the small of her back to the top of her ass. How can it feel this good to kiss someone! And then, it’s like she comes to her senses. Her body tenses in my arms and she pushes me away. Her mouth is hanging open in shock and all I want to do is taste it again. I try to move towards her but she backs away instinctively. Without a word, she

turns around and rushes out the door, once again slamming it behind her.

Chapter 19 - Valerie

My exit from Clay’s apartment is a blur. I’m practically running to my car. My heart is in my throat and my chest is heaving as I gulp in the air. The noise of traffic is just one big wall of sound assaulting my ears. I need quiet. I need stillness. Finally I make it to my car. I jump in the driver’s seat and close the door. What. Just. Happened. The world is rocking and I feel like I’m going to be sick. I can’t think straight. That felt too good, too nice to have his arms around me. I wanted him to touch me and grab me and hold me close. I could feel the ridges in his abs as he pressed himself into me. And his cock, his cock! My hand flies up to my chest and I close my eyes, leaning back on the headrest. I could feel the hardness of his cock through his pants. It was enough to send a rush of blood between my legs. I’ve never been so turned on in my life. Why did I run away? It was just too much. How

could I want him so badly? Especially after what happened this morning! How dare he grab me and kiss me like that! My head is spinning. I don’t know what to think. My body runs hot and then cold when my anger is replaced with desire, and then outrage, and then pure, feverish, red-hot lust. How DARE he. But… I liked it. A lot. Who am I kidding of course I liked it! I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him since I first laid eyes on him. And his body felt so good, strong and warm and muscular when he pressed himself against me. I practically melted into a puddle on the floor the minute his lips touched mine. I close my eyes and imagine his taste and the way his tongue played with mine. It’s not right to want someone this badly.

Chapter 20 - Clay

Her lips tasted better than I could have imagined. My heart is racing just thinking about how close she was to me, the way her body fit into mine, the feeling of her breasts pressed up against my chest. My arms feel empty now that she’s gone and I don’t know what to do about it. All I want is to feel her in my arms again, to press my lips against hers. I need her. My head's a mess right now. I turn around my apartment not knowing where to look. The bright sunlight is streaming in through the windows but all I can see is the emptiness of my apartment. Without thinking I grab my keys and run out the door after her. I can’t let her slip away like this. I run down the stairs and out onto the street, looking all around for her. Where did she go! I take a chance and turn left, sprinting down the road. People are jostling on the street to get past me and I feel like a salmon swimming upstream. I rush through them, trying to get a glimpse of her. Any head of blonde hair makes me look twice as I move down the street. I turn around and look

behind me. My eyes are scanning the crowd, back and forth. When I saw her out the window on the weekend she got into a silver car. I’m scanning the street, looking for her or her car or any hint that she’s here. I slow down and make a full circle, taking one last look around me. She’s gone. I let my hands fall to my side and then bring them up to rub my head. She must have gone the other way or driven off already. I can’t believe I let her leave like that. I had her in my arms and I let her slip away! Deflated, I turn around to head back to my apartment. I round the corner when I hear something. It sounds like someone calling my name. “Clay!” I turn around and there she is, running towards me. It’s the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen. The sun is glinting off her blonde hair and it looks like spun gold. She’s struggling to make her way through the people, her blazer open and trailing behind her. Our eyes are glued onto one another and I start moving towards her. She came back. My heart jumps to my throat and I move towards her, taking a few steps until she jumps into my arms. Our lips meet once again and I taste the

sweetness of her kiss. I feel whole. Nothing matters right now except the woman in my arms, her touch, her smell, her kiss. We stumble into my apartment and she claws at my shirt. Her skin is the softest I’ve ever felt and we fall into each other without restraint. Her hands run over my body, exploring me. Her touch is soft but insistent, I never want her to stop touching me. Her top disappears somewhere between the living room and the bedroom. I grab her by the waist and lay her down on the bed, laying myself down on top of her. I can feel her breasts pressing into my chest again, her stomach against me, her legs intertwined between mine. I can’t stop kissing her. Our breath mixes as we rush to touch each other, to feel each other, to push our bodies together like they’re not meant to be apart. Her hands are all over me and I never want her to stop touching me. Every time her hand passes over my chest I feel my heart jump to meet it. This isn’t supposed to feel this good. I slip my hands behind her back and unclasp her bra. Her tits fall free and I bend my head down to kiss them. She moans as my mouth meets her nipples, licking and biting them gently. I’m almost frantic, just wanting to be nearer to her. My cock is so hard it hurts as it strains in my pants. I move my hands down her stomach, kissing my

way down to the hem of her skirt. When I take her skirt off my breath catches in my throat. I look at her face, her half-closed eyes and she almost timidly spreads her legs in front of me. My cock has been hard since this morning but all I want now is to be inside her. Instead, I dive head first between her legs and finally taste the sweet saltiness of her slit. I eat her and taste her, running my tongue all over her until she’s squirming and arching her back and screaming my name. Her hands are on my head and I don’t want to stop. She pulls me up and I see a kind of surprise in her eyes. She’s breathing heavily and trying to say something. Gently, gently, I run my fingers down he slit and into her opening and I feel her shiver and relax into my touch.

Chapter 21 - Valerie

Clay’s tongue feels like ecstasy. He’s looking at me with those dark eyes and all I can think about is his hands and his mouth all over me. My body is ablaze. His fingers are sliding up and down my slit and finally he slides two inside my opening. They move inside me effortlessly and my walls contract around his fingers. I moan as I feel him moving them in and out, rubbing the inside of my walls in a way I’ve never felt before. His head dips back down and he starts swirling his tongue around my clit again. I gasp. I’ve never felt anything like this. My head is spinning and my whole body is electric with desire. I can’t think about anything, only the white hot heat burning between my legs. Clay’s tongue and fingers work in tandem and I gasp. I feel myself contract around his hands as he slips another finger inside me. I weave my fingers through his tousled hair and grip onto his head, grinding my hips in sync with his movements. He’s moaning as he tastes me and I realise he’s enjoying this as much as I am. The thought of

him loving the taste of me makes the heat burn hotter and I feel myself getting closer to the edge. My heart beats faster but I can’t think about it, all I can think about is him and what he’s doing to me right here, right now. Our bodies are made for each other. We move together and grind together and moan together. The electric heat in my centre grows every time Clay moves his fingers or tastes me with his tongue. Clay slips his fingers out of me and slides his fingers up towards my bud. He rolls it between his fingers and the heat in the pit of my stomach becomes almost too much to handle. I grip his hair a bit harder and he drops his head back down towards me. In an instant, his fingers are inside me, rubbing the tender spot at the front of my opening and his tongue is working magic over my bud. My eyes close, my arms and legs fall open and my back arches out of my control. The blazing heat washes through me in waves, sending tingling from my centre out to each extremity. A loud moan escapes my lips and I fall into the pleasure of his touch. My walls are contracting around his fingers in a way I’ve never felt before and I gasp as he continues to touch me. Before I know what’s happening I’m flying over the edge and my body is out of my control.

Clay doesn’t stop and I lean into this moment, feeling the heat and pleasure rush through my body. With my eyes closed all I can do is let the pleasure wash over me, give in to the moment and give in to Clay. My wetness envelops his fingers and his mouth and he moans with me, enjoying my orgasm with me. The heat subsides slowly and I can breathe again. I gently push his head away from me. He slides his fingers out of me and gently kisses the inside of my thigh. He looks up at me and his gaze is soft, almost tender. He did it. My head is spinning and I take a moment to let my breath settle. My chest heaves up and down with each raspy inhalation. Clay stays motionless, softly kissing the inside of my thigh as I recover. He reaches a hand up and places it on my stomach. Its warmth is calming, and I reach down to place my hand on top of his. We stay like this for seconds, moments, an eternity, until the thoughts return to my head and I am able to speak. “Clay..” I whisper in a raspy voice. It’s all I can manage to say for now. I feel the heat of his body against mine and I feel electrified and relaxed all at once. I close my eyes again as tingles pass through me once again. My body is a stranger to me right now. I can

only lay back and let my body settle down, until I lift my head and look down at Clay. His eyes are soft, his face relaxed. His tongue darts out to lick his lips and my heart flutters gently. He’s tasting me again. I bring my hand to his face and stroke his cheek. “Wow,” I say, leaning my head back onto the pillow.

Chapter 22 - Clay

“Did you… did you just come?” I ask softly. She looks down on me and nods her chin down ever so slightly. She looks almost dazed. Her eyes are clear but unfocused, and her hair is like a halo around her head. She focuses in on my face and pulls my head nearer to her, leaning into my kiss. I know she can taste herself on my lips and the thought of it makes my cock pulse with incredible desire. I can’t wait any longer. I press it against her body and she moans gently, grinding her hips into my cock. She pulls her head away and looks into my eyes. “I want your cock,” she says softly. Her eyes burn with desire and my eyes widen. Her words make my cock even harder, which I didn’t even know was possible. She looks and talks so innocently but she’s the sexiest woman I’ve ever met. “You’re going to get it,” I respond gruffly. I sit up and slide a condom on. My cock is thick in my hand and I can’t wait to feel it inside her. I place it in front of her wet opening and can’t wait

any longer. I push myself into her. I’ve never felt anything this good. I can feel her opening stretch and grow to fit me inside her, slick with her wetness and warm with desire. I pause for a moment, feeling her walls stretch to accommodate my thickness. When I feel her body relax I push in further and further, inch by inch until my cock is completely sheathed inside her. Our bodies melt together and we move and thrash on the bed. I grab her wrists and hold them over her head, pushing my body down into hers. My thrusts become more aggressive, and her hips buck to meet me. My breath becomes ragged, and the sound of her moans in my ear only spurs me on. Her walls are contracting around my cock, gripping it as I slide in and out of her. Our bodies are pressed together and she writhes beneath me, bucking her hips as I thrust into her. I bring my lips down to meet hers and our hot breath mixes as we moan together. This is more than sex, more than a fuck, more than anything I’ve ever experienced. We are moving together. I just want to be closer, deeper. Her hands rake over my back, gently scratching me with her fingernails until her hand reaches the back of my neck. She grips onto my neck and brings her head closer to me. Her breath is intoxicating, her smell is exhilarating. My body is pressed against her and I

push myself into her deeper, deeper. Her walls grip me tighter and a rush of pleasure washes over me like a tidal wave. I can feel myself getting closer to the edge. The familiar tingling in my core, my balls are tightening up towards my shaft. And then I feel it. Her walls grip me even tighter and her body goes rigid. Her mouth drops open into a soft ‘o’ and her head drops back. We both moan louder and louder as our desire and our pleasure mix to the ultimate climax. I’m screaming her name and she’s screaming mine. It’s too much for me and I feels myself explode, again and again. Her body contracts around me, arms and legs tangled together in the bedsheets. I’m panting. She’s panting. I put my arms around her and pull her close to me, never wanting this moment to end.

Chapter 23 - Valerie

Clay has fallen into a light sleep next to me, with his arms entangled around me. I look at his face, peaceful and serene in his sleep. He’s snoring lightly but I don’t even mind, I’m too dazed. I came. I felt it, what everyone tries to describe to me but can’t. Finally, finally! There’s nothing wrong with me. I let the realisation sink in. Maybe I just don’t know how to push my own buttons, maybe I’ve been doing it wrong all these years. I needed to let go of all the pent-up emotion inside me, and the complete fury I felt this morning after Clay ruined my sale allowed me to do that. Maybe I’m uptight, and I just needed someone to unwind me. Maybe it’s not just anyone I needed, maybe I needed Clay. I take a deep breath and try to calm my buzzing brain. The way Clay touched me, looked at me, tasted me… I’ve never experienced anything like it. It’s like he didn’t care about his own pleasure, it was good enough to take care of me. I snuggle into

him and let his light breath wash over my face, enjoying the complete serenity of the moment. The calm that enfolds us is complete. His light snoring lulls me into a deep state of relaxation and I close my eyes, leaning into him. My breath slows and I let myself sink deeper into the bed. My phone buzzes. I sigh. I disentangle myself slowly from Clay and he groans but doesn’t wake. My phone is in my purse by the foot of the bed amidst the chaos of discarded clothing. I pick it up and see it’s Emma. We still on for 1pm? Shit. My lunch. I can’t flake on her now, she expressly told me she wanted to see me this weekend and talk to me. I know her well enough to know she needs me, and she’s my best friend. I turn to look at Clay’s sleeping form. I want to stay, to get to know him better and spend all day with him but I know that my friend needs me, and she comes first. I walk over lightly and sit next to him on the bed. “Clay,” I whisper as I touch his shoulder. He makes a muffled moaning sound and turns towards me, wrapping his arm around my waist. I smile. “Clay I need to go, I’m really sorry. I have an appointment I can’t miss in half an hour.” He opens his eyes and frowns.

“Don’t go,” he says simply. I sigh. “I have to. I don’t want to, trust me.” “You’re always leaving,” he whines. I laugh softly. “I can come back later if you want? Bring some takeout or something?” Finally he opens his eyes and looks at me. It feels like he’s looking deep inside me into my soul. His lips twitch upwards into a contented smile. “I never thought I’d say this but that actually sounds really good.” “Gee, thanks,” I respond sarcastically. “You really know how to make the girls swoon.” “I’m not usually a takeout, chilling out on the couch with a girl kind of guy,” he says, grinning. “So what kind of guy are you then? One who gets plastered and then ruins his best chance to sell his house?” Laughing, he grabs my waist and pulls me down on the bed beside him, turning his body so he’s on top of me. Sweet, short kisses rain over my face and he asks me again not to go. “Just stay here, cancel your appointment.” I kiss him back, wrapping my arms around his neck. It feels so good to be here with him, like I’ve finally found where I'm supposed to be. I’ve never had such an instant connection with anyone. It’s intoxicating. I put my hands on his chest and push him away gently.

“I can’t tell you how good that sounds but I’ve been flaking on this friend of mine all week and I think she needs to see me.” He lifts himself onto his elbows. “You really care about her, I can tell.” “She’s my best friend. I wouldn’t have survived the past few months without her.” He cocks his head to the side and brushes my hair away from my face. “Why, what happened the past few months?” I want to tell him about my breakup and my struggles for the past few months but I can’t. Not yet. I’ve just met him and this is all happening too fast. I shrug. “It’s nothing. But right now I need to go.” I kiss him one more time and gently push him away. “I’ll be back tonight. How does Thai food sound?” “Sounds perfect.”

Chapter 24 - Clay

Who am I? I don’t even recognise myself anymore. Val’s been gone for an hour and I think I miss her. My bed feels cold and I want to do is turn around into her and hold her in my arms. Get a grip, I tell myself, this isn’t me. First I go out and I can’t even look at another woman, and then I can’t control myself and kiss her, and THEN I run after her into the street! Where is the cool collected, driven doctor that I know myself to be?! But then she came back for me. Twice. Okay, fair enough, the first time was because she was furious with me but the second time she wanted me. She wanted me! Just as much as I wanted her. I smile as I think about her running back down the street towards me. The way my body felt weightless when she collided with me. And then… I’ve never been with a woman like that. I’ve never felt such a connection with someone. And she came! I gave her her first ever orgasm. My heart swells with pride and I just want to do it again, and again. When I think about her back

arching and the surprise in her eyes it makes my cock twitch in my pants. It was almost enough to make me explode, just feeling her pleasure and knowing I’d done it to her. I wish she was here, I’d turn around and give it to her all morning and all afternoon. This is new territory for me. It’s always been just sex with me, ever since my ex ripped my heart out of my chest and stomped on it in front of me. I shake my head. Now is not the time to be dredging up the past. The twinge in my heart when I think of Val reminds me a little bit too much of things I’d rather not think of. But now… this feels good. I actually want her to come back tonight, and I was serious when I said it sounded good to have her here to watch a movie tonight. If it feels this good it can’t be wrong, can it? I check the clock. It’s barely past noon, she won’t be back for hours. I need to distract myself. I get up and try to tidy up a bit. There’s clothes everywhere, both from last night and from this morning. As I go around my apartment cleaning, I think about the botched sale this morning. I can’t help but feel relieved that my apartment is still mine. I must just be having cold feet, I’ve lived in New York for ages. I need to stay focused. This has been my plan ever since I started medical school.

No women, no distractions. I’ve had these rules for a reason. Sex when I want it but the ultimate priority is my career. When I’m done cleaning up, I flop down on my couch and take a deep breath. One more night with Val won’t hurt. I can just keep it casual with her. I want to see her again. I want to make her come again. Is that still keeping it casual? When you care about someone else’s pleasure as much as your own? I don’t just want to make her come. I want to make her smile, hear that beautiful, tinkling laugh of hers and see her face light up. I want to hear her story, listen to her voice as she talks to me. I sigh, thinking about how good it felt to be near her. I need to stay busy or else my mind is going to run circles around me. I call Davey. His voice booms over the phone when he answers. “Yo! What happened to you last night? You disappeared!” “Yeah just had to go home, had enough of being in that club. Should have left sooner though” “Yeah you were pretty wasted, you hungover today?” “Dave, not only am I hungover, I fucking slept through my apartment viewing and fell out of bed completely naked when they walked in.” Davey is laughing his usual full-bellied laugh. I smile.

“That’s a guaranteed sale then, right?!” he asks, still laughing. “It was pretty bad,” For some reason I don’t want to tell him about Val. Usually we tell each other all the gritty details about the women we pick up but somehow it seems wrong to tell him about this one. It was different with her. “What about you?” I say to change the subject. “How’d your night end up.” “Oh man you remember that smoking hot brunette I was talking to?” He rattles on and I try to stay focused but it just doesn’t seem that interesting. The thought of picking up chicks and then never calling them over and over just seems so pointless now. How could this change so quickly? If I even talked to another girl now I’d just be picturing Val. “Are you still there?” My thoughts jolt back to Dave. “Yeah man, sorry, still got a splitting headache.” “I’m just as bad. Anyways I’ll catch you later. You want to hang out tonight?” I think of my plans with Valerie. I can’t believe I’m thinking this, but I would actually prefer to stay in watching a movie with her than go out with Dave and find another woman to sleep with. This is different, but in a good way. “Nah I’m good Davey, gonna stay off the booze today and try to recover. Big week at work next

week.” “Alright, your loss,” he says with a chuckle. I hang up the phone and sigh. I feel nervous about this change, but then I think about Val and the way her face looked when I was on top of her. I need to see that face again, need to feel her body against mine. I hope her lunch doesn’t take too long.

Chapter 25 - Valerie

“Val! You look different. Something’s different. What happened?!” I haven’t even seen Emma for five seconds and she already knows something’s up. I’d never be able to hide anything from her, not that I’d ever want to. She spreads her arms and gives me a big bear hug. Her hair smells like fresh flowers and I can’t help but feel comfortable in her arms. We pull away and she looks at me, searching my face. “That,” she declares, “is the glow of someone who has had an orgasm!” She’s almost triumphant when she looks at me with raised eyebrows, waiting for me to confirm. “Emma, shh!” I laugh, looking around. How can she just blurt these things out without thinking of who’s around us. “So you’re not denying it.” I look at her and my face breaks into a huge smile. “I can’t hide anything from you,” I say. She lifts her arms up in celebration. “Yes!!!! I’m so happy!” She grabs me and

gives me another hug. “Tell me everything. When, how, what,” she pauses. “Who?” I’m blushing now and I can’t help it. She inhales dramatically and brings a hand up to her chest. “Valerie Brooks! Who was it!” She’s laughing now and guides me over to a table. We sit down and I wait for the waitress to give us a menu and take our drink orders before I say anything to Emma. She’s staring at me. “Val, if you don’t start talking I’m going to jump over this table and strangle you. What happened!!” “It was the doctor,” I finally blurt out. Emma’s jaw drops. “No!” “Yep,” I say, laughing. “The doctor?!” “The doctor.” “And he made you… he got you there?” Now she’s the one who’s tongue tied. “You’ll never believe what happened.” I tell her every detail from the morning, starting with picking up the keys from the other real estate agent. She’s hanging on my every word and laughing and asking me for more details. I only pause my story when the waitress comes back to take our orders. When she walks away I continue. “He just grabbed me and kissed me and I didn’t know what to do so I ran away!”

“You ran away? What do you mean you ran away?” “I mean like I turned around and ran out the door.” Emma is cackling and people at the next table are turning their heads. “I don’t even know why, it was like my brain just nope’d out of the situation and I had to leave,” I laugh. “I made it to my car and then I turned back. He had ran out of his apartment after me and we kissed again out on the street.” “This is like, some RomCom shit. You ran away and then ran back and he had come out to run after you?! If it was raining it could have been in The Notebook.” I laugh. It’s nice to talk to her, to digest what’s just happened. I feel like I can relax and think about the crazy morning I’ve had. “So tell me about the sex. I want to hear everything. How big was his cock?” She holds up her hands, index fingers an inch apart. “Tell me when,” she says with a raised eyebrow before slowly starting to spread her fingers apart from each other. I laugh, but still, I hesitate. Somehow it doesn’t feel right to tell her every detail about that. It was so intimate, so private. I want to keep it that way but I’m not sure why. I ignore her hands and keep talking.

“Yeah I don’t know it’s kind of a blur. We just… it just happened.” The waitress reappears with our food and it saves me from skirting her questions any more. I change the subject. “So what about you, Em? You sounded a bit down about that guy not calling you back.” “Oh, I’m not down,” she says. “I’m fine. It’s fine.” She waves it away but I can tell there’s a sadness in her eyes. “I just thought we had a bit of a connection I guess. Like, we talked a lot more than just a hookup, you know? We laughed a lot and I slept over and I thought that he wanted to see me again.” “Maybe he’s just a jerk. It sounds like he was using you.” “Probably.” Her eyes are still sad when she looks at me. “Rejection just sucks, you know? Especially when I felt like we actually got along. As many single people as there are in New York, having an actual connection doesn’t actually happen that often.” “Believe me, I know.” She shakes her head and changes the subject. “Enough about me. It was just a random hookup and I made the mistake of getting attached. It was one night! It’ll blow over though, I don’t even remember his name.” I think she’s lying about that last part but I

don’t push it. It’s rare for her to be vulnerable like this, and I know her well enough to just let it go for now. She’ll open up when she’s ready, and it’s nice to be here together and share this moment with her. “And you know what they say,” she continues. “The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. I see that you’ve finally taken that advice to heart.” I can feel myself blushing at her words but I can’t help but laugh along with her. She has a way of making me feel good about anything, and I feel so lucky to have her as a friend. We finish our food and I’m happy that I’ve come to see her. She gives me a big hug when we leave and squeezes me tight. I think she’s tearing up when she backs up and looks at me. “I’m really, really happy about you and Doctor O. You deserve to be happy and have lots and lots of orgasms.” I laugh and say goodbye. Maybe she’s right, I do deserve to be happy. I can’t help but smile at the thought of going back to Clay’s house tonight.

Chapter 26 - Clay

I keep checking the clock. How long can one lunch take! She said she’d be back for dinner but the afternoon seems to be dragging on. I’ve cleaned my house from top to bottom and organised everything, making sure my TV worked and thought of some movies we could watch. I even scrubbed my microwave for some reason, as if she’s going to open it up and check that it’s clean. I know I’m just trying to keep myself busy, to stop myself watching the clock. It’s not working. I haven’t been this excited to see a girl since I was in high school. It’s taking all my self control to not text her twelve times. It’s like I don’t even know myself anymore. Maybe it’s the thrill of giving her her first orgasm, the novelty will wear off and I’ll be back to myself in a couple days. I hope so. Still, it’s kind of thrilling to feel like this. To care about what she thinks and what she says. Plus, I can’t wait to have my arms wrapped around that tight body of hers again, feeling her tits pressed up against me and her nipples hardening. Just the

thought of her nakedness makes me want her, badly. My phone dings and I practically pounce on it. It’s her. The novelty certainly hasn’t worn off yet. Hey, just at home changing and showering. You still down for Thai food tonight? My fingers can’t type fast enough. Sounds good but I don’t care about the food. I just want to eat you. Get back here I’m dying to taste your pussy again. I pause before hitting send. Maybe that’s coming on a bit too strong. I don’t know if she’s into dirty talk, she’s only just had her first orgasm. I erase the message and restart. Sounds good. What time do you think you’ll be over? 7ish :) Sevenish. That’s two more hours away. My heart sinks. Get a grip! I’m a grown man, I can wait two hours. I pop on one of the movies I’d chosen

earlier and grab a beer out of the fridge to help the time go by. Finally an eternity later my buzzer rings. I jump-hop out of my seat and over to the intercom. “It’s me!” Her voice rings over the speaker. I buzz her up. My palms are sweaty. I can’t wait to see her and feel her in my arms again. I want more time with her to explore her body, get to know every curve and every bend. I want to taste her again and make her come again and again and again. A light knock at the door and she’s here. “Hey,” she says simply, holding up a big bag of styrofoam containers. “I brought food! I’m not sure what you like but I got my favourites so that’s what you’re stuck with.” She’s dressed like she was in my office, in a simple tank top and jeans. I’ve never seen her look so good. Her hair is cascading all around her and she’s smiling at me in that honest, innocent smile that lights up her face. I say nothing, just lean down and crush my lips against hers. They taste better than I remember. I grab the bag of food out of her hands and place it on the counter, turning around to lift her up over my shoulder. Her feet are dangling in front of me and I put my arm across her thighs. “I’ve been dying here on my own,” I tell her as I carry her towards my bedroom.

“Poor you,” she says sarcastically. I throw her down on the bed and jump on top of her. I’ve been thinking of this all day, of having her body underneath mine. I devour her lips and move down towards her neck. I trace the line of her collarbone with my lips and bring my hands over her stomach, her breasts, her arms. I breathe in and feel the hammering in my chest as her perfume fills my nostrils. My head spins and my body takes over. She’s under me, around me, over me. Her hair falls across her face and her mouth opens and I’ve never seen anything so beautiful. I can’t help myself, I just want to be closer, closer, closer. The sound of her moans is music, the touch of her skin is magic. I don’t think about what it means that my heart is soaring every time I look at her or touch her. All that matters is her, and her pleasure, and her body here next to mine. She sits up so that she’s straddling me and pulls her tank top off over her head. She unclasps her bra and throws it to the side and my hands fly up to grab her tits. They’re perfect and soft and she leans into my touch, closing her eyes as I feel her body. Val opens her eyes back up and moves down my legs, unbuttoning my jeans and pulling them down my legs. I help her pull my boxers down and my hard cock springs free. She grabs it in her small

hand and starts stroking it gently up and down. I groan, it feels so good. I watch as she works her hand up and down the shaft and my cock gets harder in response. My breath catches in my throat when she leans her head down and kisses the tip of it. Her mouth opens and I feel the warmth of her lips over the head of my cock. The feeling is insane. My cock fills her mouth and she starts bobbing her head up and down. I can’t keep my eyes off her, off my cock going in and out of her mouth and her hair cascading on either side. I run my hands through her hair and gather it all behind her head, moving my hand with the motion of her head. The sound of her licking and sucking my cock is almost too much to handle. She swirls her tongue around the tip and I moan in pleasure. This is the best feeling in the world. “Val,” I breathe. She moans in response, not slowing down her movements. Her hand is cupping my balls and she uses her other hand to stroke the bottom of my shaft as her mouth works the top. I can feel my balls tighten up towards my cock and I use her hair to pull her off me. I’m breathing hard. “Val, you need to stop. I don’t want to come yet.” She moves her hand to her lips and wipes a

bit of spit away. The look in her eyes is pure lust and just looking at her makes me want to explode.

Chapter 27 - Valerie

Clay’s looking at me, panting. He puts his hands under my arms and pulls me up towards him, crushing his lips against mine and wrapping himself around me. The heat from his body sends sparks flying through me every time he touches me. The way Clay touches me is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. It’s like he’s everywhere around me, his heat passes through me and his hands are touching me everywhere at once. Every time his fingers trail over my skin I feel an electric current straight to my centre. His touch is soft and then all of a sudden his hands are gripping my waist and I want nothing more than to feel him inside me. I roll to my side and pull off my jeans. As soon as I kick them off he grabs my hips, turning me over so that I’m straddling him. I’m wearing nothing but the lacy black thong I chose this afternoon and I can feel his hard cock pressed against my hip bone. I’ve never felt so alive. All I want is his cock inside me. I can feel the excitement growing in the pit of my stomach as I grind my hips slowly and listen to him groan.

I want to feel it again. I want to feel the orgasm course through my body, making me tingle and contract. I put my hands on his chest and lean forward while he grabs my ass. The touch of his hands is electrifying. I slide my hands down, feeling every bump of his abs until I reach his crotch. I grab his cock and feel the smooth hardness of his it in my hand. It feels hot in my hand as I stroke it gently. He reaches down and slides on a condom before slipping my panties to the side. I can feel his hardness at my entrance, and the fabric of my panties is rubbing my lips and clit and making them extra sensitive. I sit back and his cock slides into me. A moan escapes my open lips as my other lips part to let him enter me. Inch by inch, he slides in until I’m sitting back on him. His hands are all over me, gripping me down and pulling me into him. I feel whole. It feels better than good, better than great. My body bounces and grinds on top of him and I feel the pressure of my orgasm growing inside me. It’s almost instinctive now, it’s easy to feel the heat growing inside me. Instead of focusing on it I look at Clay, at his face and the way his eyes are locked into mine. There’s nowhere else to be, nowhere to go. This is where I’m meant to be. He moves his finger to my tender bud and the touch sends shivers through

my entire body. I lean into him, taking him deeper inside me as my walls contract around him. His fingers work their way around my bud and I feel the orgasm growing in the pit of my stomach. With his other hand, Clay pulls himself deeper into me and moves his hips to push himself even further inside. It feels good to be full of him, too good. I can’t help it anymore, the pleasure in my centre explodes and I go flying over the edge. The third orgasm of my life sets my body on fire until my vision blurs and my body shivers. He thrusts into me and I feel his cock harden even more right before he fills the condom with his seed. He grunts in satisfaction and our bodies contract around each other outside of our control. I collapse on top of him and he wraps his arms around me, kissing my forehead softly. We lay motionless until our heartbeats slow and the breath returns to our bodies. “How do you do that,” I ask. Clay chuckles. “It just feels good between us. It’s not me, it’s us.” I lift my head and look in his eyes. He’s not being sarcastic. My body seems to fit perfectly into his, and I nuzzle into him a bit more. Maybe it is just good between us, maybe this is different from everyone else’s sex. It feels like we’re irresistibly drawn to each other. “I tried the vibrator,” I confess.

“Oh yeah?” his voice is almost tentative. “It didn’t work. I couldn’t do it. I don’t know how I can do it with you, it’s just… different.” “We’ve clicked.” We lay in silence for a while. It feels good to be open with him, to be honest about my problem. Well, I guess it’s not so much of a problem anymore. He’s unlocked something in me, something that was buried deep. When he touches me I can let go. I lay in his arms and breathe in his scent. This is the most comfortable I’ve ever been. I look up at his face and he tilts his chin down to meet my gaze. He places a soft kiss on my forehead and pulls me in closer to him. I’d trade any sale, any leaderboard for this feeling.

Chapter 28 - Clay

I want to tell her everything about me, about my life and upbringing, about my time at medical school. My time as a stripper. How I worked on this apartment until it was completely transformed. About my ex, and the way she hurt me. I want her to know everything about me and I want to know everything about her. But every time I open my mouth the words catch in my throat and I can’t tell her anything. She’s in my arms and I feel more content than I’ve felt in years but I’ve lost my ability to speak. I feel a twinge in my chest when I try to relax into the feeling. I can’t let that happen again, let myself be stomped on and crushed by a woman. I take a deep breath and try to harden myself. I’ll get bored of her like I get bored of every girl. But then, as if she senses my unease, she lifts her hand and runs her fingertips all over my chest, back and forth across until I have no choice but to relax into her touch. “So why are you selling this place,” she asks, breaking the silence. “It’s beautiful.”

“I’m moving,” I respond, blurting it out. “Oh yeah?” Her voice sounds a bit strained, like her words are ever so slightly forced. “To Seattle.” Her body tenses slightly. “Seattle?” “For work. The country’s best cardiologist is there and I want to learn from him. I’ve been working towards it since I started medical school and it finally looks like it’s going to happen.” “That’s really great, congratulations,” she says, but her voice is flat. She doesn’t seem to be happy for me at all. At least it’s out in the open now. Don’t get attached, girl, because I’m leaving. You’re lucky you’ve seen me twice as it is. The realisation that I’m leaving hits me now. Of course I shouldn’t open up to her, I’m leaving! I’m moving across the country and I have no time for this as it is. This is just a bit of fun caused by a mutual attraction. She needed help getting off and I’m here to provide that help. That’s all. Or at least that’s what I need to keep telling myself. I’m letting this get away from me. She sits up in the bed and looks at me, smiling. Her face is almost radiant, and I love how her hair is like a mane around her head. I can’t help but smile back. Spending a bit of time together won’t hurt. Seattle isn’t confirmed, after all. “Let’s get some food,” she says. “I’m

starving.” “What did you get?” I ask. “Only the best Thai food in New York! You won’t be disappointed.” We get up and share the food she brought. I crack open a couple beers and hand her one. It’s comfortable being here with her. I like the way she tucks one foot under herself on the chair when we sit down to eat, and the way she tucks her hair behind her ear before taking a bite. It’s like she’s just as comfortable with me as I am with her. I never thought I’d want this, never thought I’d actually look forward to spending time with one woman so much. She laughs at something I say and her face lights up, eyes crinkling a little bit at the corner. My heart beats a little bit harder and I wish I could bottle some of that laugh and take a sip of it whenever I’m feeling down. I wonder what this feeling is, why my heart feels light. And then it hits me: I’m happy. “I still don’t think you should sell this place,” she says to me. “It’s too perfect. And you worked so hard on it. Can’t you go to Seattle and keep it, at least for a little while? Rent it out or something?” “I hadn’t really considered that. I kind of just wanted a clean break. There’s nothing holding me in New York anymore.” “Anymore? What happened?”

“Nothing. What is this, the Spanish Inquisition?!” She laughs that gorgeous laugh again. “Fine, sell it, but make sure you sell it to one of my clients because I wouldn’t mind the commission.” We sit on the couch together and I put on one of the movies I chose. I look at her sideways and notice a freckle on her neck, right below her ear. I lean over and kiss it without thinking. She giggles and turns her head towards me, finding my lips and kissing me softly. The movie starts up and she turns towards it. “Oh! Pulp Fiction! One of my favourites!” she exclaims. I look over at her in surprise. “Really?! Me too. Girls don’t usually like this movie. I thought you’d want to watch The Notebook or something.” “Girls don’t usually like this movie?! What kind of girls?! I thought you weren’t a ‘hang out on the couch and watch movies with a girl’ kind of guy. And plus, The Notebook is a classic and I’d appreciate it if you spoke about it with respect.” She nudges me in the ribs with her elbow and I laugh. I put my arm around her and we settle in for the movie. I didn’t know I could be so content just sitting in my apartment on a Saturday night.

Chapter 29 - Valerie

I leave Clay’s apartment early Monday morning, and I need to rush home to get changed before going to work. What a weekend. I didn’t think I’d stay over all day Sunday but I didn’t want to leave, and he didn’t want me to either. All we did was talk and laugh and fuck and eat and sleep. I wish I could spend every day that way. It’s so nice to be around him, we fit so well together and have been instantly comfortable around each other. My heart is soaring as I head to work, and I can’t stop smiling. I should be angry or disappointed that the sale didn’t go through this weekend, but I don’t care. I’ll get another sale somehow. I still have time to make it to the top of the sales board. Right now I’m just enjoying the feeling of knowing I’ll be seeing Clay again tonight. Maybe things are moving too fast. He did say he was moving to Seattle soon, and I have no interest in being in a long distance relationship. It’s just so easy, so nice to be around him. We like all the same movies and shows, we laugh at the same

things. I’ve never clicked with someone so easily. And of course, I’ve never had orgasms before him and I’m not sure anyone could give me one after. It’s like he knows my body better than I know it myself. I’m still just exploring my own body with him, discovering new sensations and new sensitive spots with Clay’s help. Just the thought of his hands on me makes the blood rush to my centre and I can feel the wetness growing inside me. I pull into the work parking lot and feel like I should have brought a change of underwear. My phone buzzes. You miss me yet? I smile. It’s like he knew that I was thinking about him, that I wanted to feel his touch. Was just thinking how much I want your hands all over me. I have a surprise for you tonight. Come by my place when you finish up at work. A surprise! I wonder what he has in store. I’m buzzing today, getting things done that I’ve been putting off and even closing a small sale. Things are going well. Chris emails me apologising for the mix-up on the weekend. I smile as I read

his apology. If only he knew that the mix-up was the best thing to happen to me in months, maybe even years. I respond as graciously as I can without telling him anything about my personal life. If anyone found out I’d slept with a potential seller it would be the end of my career. I’m sure if anyone found out he slept with a patient it would be the end of his. We’re both playing with fire, but the heat feels too good. Anytime my thoughts flick back to Clay I can feel the blood rushing down between my legs. I didn’t know someone could have such an effect on me. It’s not just the sex though, it’s nice to be around him and laughing with him. He has a calming influence, even when he’s making me as excited as I’ve ever been. I need to remind myself he’s leaving soon, and I shouldn’t get too attached. Five o’clock finally hits and I jump out of my desk. It’s nice to have something to look forward to after work. I rush home to shower and change into my favourite tight jeans and head over to SoHo to see Clay. I don’t remember the last time I was this excited to see someone. A small part of my brain is screaming at me to be careful, to take it slow, but how can I take it slow with him! All I want to do is be next to him. I shove those thoughts away, to the back of my brain. Right now all I want is him.

He opens the door as if he was standing there waiting for me. I rush towards him and he wraps his arms around me, holding me close to him. I can feel his hands sliding down my back as I lift my lips towards him. There’s no need for words. I already feel wet with desire, and spending all day at work thinking about it hasn’t made it any easier. His strong, muscular body is wrapped around mine as he pulls me into his apartment, kicking the door closed behind me. He puts his hands on my waist and lifts me up, placing me down on the kitchen island next to us. My feet are dangling off the edge and I wrap them around his hips. He pulls my ass closer to him and kisses me again, crushing his lips into mine and letting our tongues dance between them. I tangle my fingers into his hair and pull him closer to me, and then reach down and unbutton his jeans. I slide them down his thighs frantically and he helps me to drop them the rest of the way. His cock is hard, pressed up against the waistband of his boxers. I stroke it gently through the fabric as he kisses me, and his moans slip through our kiss. He slides his hands over my waist and up towards my breasts, cupping them in his hands as I stroke him. Then his hands slide back down and it’s his turn to undress me. In an instant I’m sitting on his kitchen counter with nothing on below the waist.

He reaches down to his jeans and pulls out a condom. He doesn’t even bother taking his boxers off, just flips his cock out and rolls the condom on. My heart is pounding as I watch him, my opening flooded with my desire. I’ve never wanted anything as badly as his cock inside me. He grabs me by the ass and pulls me to the edge of the island towards him. In one smooth stroke, his cock glides inside me and I moan with pleasure. His cock fits perfectly inside me, and it feels like his hands are exactly where they are meant to be. Every touch of his fingers sends sparks down my spine and I wrap myself around him, trying to get closer, deeper. He grunts as he thrusts into me harder. He’s being more rough than this weekend and I’m loving it. All I’ve been thinking about all day is his hard cock rammed inside me. He grinds his cock into me harder, and his eyes are half-closed with pure desire. My arms fall back and I lean back on my elbows, letting him support my ass as he thrusts deeper. Every time his cock enters me it sends a shockwave through my body. My moans turn to screams but I don’t care. He’s grunting with every thrust and the look on his face is a laser focus on my body. He looks down at his cock sliding in and out of me and lets out a breathy moan. The sound travels through me and I feel myself

teetering on the edge of orgasm. I slide my hand towards my bud and tentatively touch myself. It’s the first time I’ve ever touched myself in front of someone. Clay moans as he watches me and my tentativeness disappears. He thrusts his cock inside me and I circle and rub my clit until I feel myself letting go. My body erupts, explodes, contracts. I can feel my pussy contracting around his cock, gripping it tightly as he moves it in and out of me. My screams get louder as I come, mixing with his moans of pleasure. He pulls me ever closer and my whole body shakes like a rag doll until he fills the condom with his seed. With a shudder he stops and we stay motionless for a second. He pulls himself out of me and my legs fall down. I lay back on the island, needing a moment to recover. Once again my head is spinning and I can’t speak for a few moments. I take the opportunity to watch Clay. I look at the man who has been able to make me come all weekend and watch the way he moves. His huge body is almost graceful as he gets rid of the condom and pulls his boxers and pants back on. I love watching the way his muscles contract and ripple under his skin, the way his shoulder blades move on his back. I could just lie here and watch him all night. He turns towards me and helps to lift me off the

island. I slip to the ground and wrap my arms around his neck. “So was that my surprise?” I ask with a grin. He looks over at me sideways. “Get dressed, sexy. I’m taking you to my secret place.” “You’ve already taken me to my secret place today so I’m happy.” He laughs and plants a kiss on my lips, and then motions for me to get dressed. I wonder what his secret place is?

Chapter 30 - Clay

I wasn’t planning on fucking like animals the minute she walked in, but how could I resist when I saw her. She’s the sexiest woman I’ve ever seen. I watch her as she slips her shirt back on, the way her tits move up her chest and then back down. It’s not right for something to feel this good. She’s dressed and turns to me expectantly. I grab her by the hand and pull her through the front door, closing it behind me. “Where are we going? Am I dressed okay? If I’d have known we were going out I would have dressed up a bit more.” “Shh, Val. You look perfect. Too many questions.” “I think you like it when I pester you with questions,” she says with a grin. I pull her along the hallway past the elevators. At the end of the hall there’s a heavy metal door. I push it open and let her step through. We go up a flight of stairs to another doorway that Val pushes open herself. I hear her gasp as we step out onto the roof.

It’s my favourite view of the city. A clear view of the skyline, the cars and people rushing below. It’s my oasis. I built a small deck up here and have a table set up with two places set. I walk over, light the candles I’ve prepared and open a bottle of wine. Val’s eyes are wide as she takes it all in. “You did all this? You did all this for me?” I say nothing, only pour her some wine and pull out the appetisers I’d prepared earlier. It’s simple, just some smoked salmon and capers with some bread, but she seems impressed. We share the food and she looks around at the lights of the city with stars in her eyes. “It’s beautiful up here,” she says dreamily. “This wasn’t advertised on the listing, it would be a major selling point.” “I love coming here. I haven’t technically got planning approval for a deck up here, but I built it anyways. No one’s complained so it’s been my secret spot for the past few years. It’s where I come when I need some space from the city.” “You built this?! It’s amazing. And this food!” She groans in in approval and my cock twitches in my pants. I watch her for a moment and then jump up. “Food! Shit!” I get up, almost knocking over my glass of wine and rush downstairs. I pull out the roast beef from the oven and thankfully it’s

not overcooked. Our little romp on the kitchen counter delayed my serving dinner, but it looks okay. I dish up a couple plates and bring them up to Valerie. “Clay, this looks perfect. This is perfect. I couldn’t ask for a better evening.” “I’ve really enjoyed spending the past couple days with you, Val. More than I’ve enjoyed the past couple years on my own. You’re making me rethink my whole attitude.” “What’s your attitude?” She’s taking a sip of wine but I can tell by the way she’s looking at me that she’s curious. I sigh. “You know, just… wanting to be on my own. Putting my career above everything else.” “Career is important,” she says slowly. “I’ve also been putting my career first. I don’t think it’s necessarily an either/or, if that’s what you’re saying.” “I just… I guess I didn’t think I would enjoy this.” She cocks her head to the side and looks at me quizzically but says nothing for a few moments. I look at the way the candlelight flickers over her face and I feel my heart swell in my chest. I don’t want to fight that feeling right now, I just want to enjoy it. I can tell myself to let her go later, when I move. Right now I just want to sit across from this beautiful creature and enjoy her company. She

opens her mouth to speak. “You know, I was with my ex for four years. I thought we’d end up together, married, kids, the whole nine yards. But then I realised it wasn’t what I wanted. He wasn’t what I wanted.” She pauses. “When we broke up I thought my life was over, like I had to start back up at zero. I haven’t been with anyone since then. Until you.” Her eyes look up to mine. “I didn’t think I wanted this either, but it just feels so right to be with you. I can’t explain it.” I lift my glass and we cheers together. “Let’s not think about it too hard,” I say. “I just want to enjoy this.” She smiles. “Agreed,” she says. I can’t believe how nice it feels to be open with someone, to tell her what I’m thinking and how I feel. I haven’t been able to do that, not since my ex. She mentioned her ex as well, and I’m desperate to ask what happened but I don’t want to pry. I don’t want to go telling her all about my past either. Not yet. We sit in a comfortable silence on the roof, enjoying our food. I clear the plates away and pour some more wine for her, and then pull out my favourite cheesecake from the bakery down the road. “Not bad for a Monday night,” she laughs. We eat and laugh and talk until I see her

shiver. “Let’s go inside,” I say. “It’s getting cold.” And plus, I can’t wait to lie down next to her again and hold her in my arms. I’m not even thinking about sex right now, I just want to feel her heartbeat and the heat of her body next to mine. We clear the table and go back downstairs. We do the dishes together and then head towards the bedroom. My heart is at peace.

Chapter 31 - Valerie

It’s Thursday already, the week is flying by. Clay and I have been spending every evening together and I look forward to it every day. My follow-up doctor’s appointment is today so I get ready to leave work a bit early. Just as I’m stepping out the door to leave, I hear my phone ringing in my purse. It’s Emma. “Val! Where have you been?! I don’t mean to interrupt the fuckfest that I’m sure you’re having with your hot new doctor but need I remind you that you have a best friend and that that best friend is currently languishing in this city all on her own?!” “Hey Emma,” I chuckle. She does have a penchant for the dramatic. “How have you been? Let’s catch up, maybe this weekend? I could introduce you to the doctor.” “Fucking finally!” She exclaims. She’s got a mouth like a sailor, I think. “How about Saturday brunch again? You can fill me in on your week then too.” “Sounds perfect. Love you Val, see you

then.” “Love you too Em.” I hang up the phone and smile before the realisation hits me that Clay might not want to meet her. He’s always talking about just enjoying the moment, not taking things too fast. Maybe introducing him to my friends is moving too fast. I need to keep reminding myself that he’s leaving. Sure, it’s not confirmed yet but he’s always said his career comes first. I get that, my career comes first too. I’ll have to talk to him tonight when I see him, and ask if he’d like to meet her. It seemed so natural to me, to set up the brunch but he might hate the idea! We have an understanding that this is just enjoying the present, taking it slow. We both have careers that aren’t going to take a backseat to a relationship. I’m just going to have to wait and see what he says, and bring it up as casually as possible. I head over to the doctor’s office and I wonder if I’ll run into Clay. He knows I have an appointment with Doctor Sherry today but I’m sure he’s busy with other patients. I don’t have to wait long until an older woman in a white doctor’s coat comes out to the waiting room. She’s got pure white hair but her face doesn’t have too many wrinkles. Her pink lipstick and thick-rimmed glasses make me think she’s got a big personality.

She has a warm smile when she sees me and immediately makes me feel at ease. “Are you Valerie?” “Yes,” I respond, getting out of my chair. “Follow me.” She has a really kind voice, like a grandmother or an aunt would have. I am not surprised to see her at one of the top medical practices in the city, she’s instantly made me more comfortable. She leads me down the same hallway that Clay’s office is on. I glance at his door and see his name: Dr. Clay O’Neill. Even knowing he’s in there makes my heart jump a little bit. We walk on to the end of the hall and she opens the door to her office. “So,” she begins. “You’ve been having trouble orgasming?” This woman is not wasting any time. “Yes. Well, no. I mean, I was. For a long time.” Why am I suddenly tongue tied! She smiles warmly at me. I take a deep breath and continue. “The problem seems to have… resolved itself lately.” Doctor Sherry’s eyebrows shoot up. “Oh?” she says, looking down at my chart. “And may I ask what has changed?” “I’ve started seeing someone and he’s… very good.” She glances up at me and grins.

“I’m glad to hear that Valerie. I’ve been looking through your hormone test results and have to tell you that everything seems normal. If the problem were persisting we could explore many other avenues including therapy or further testing, but it seems that the problem is no longer an issue?” “Yes, that’s right. I’m relieved to hear there’s nothing wrong with my hormones. But, can I ask… if this guy were to go away. Or if it didn’t work out, or whatever… do you think my problem would come back?” “I’m not sure, Valerie. Maybe you should try making yourself climax on your own and see if you’re able. Is everything going okay with the relationship?” “Yes! Everything is perfect! I mean, it’s great, better than I could imagine. It’s just that he’s thinking of moving out of state and…” She nods knowingly. “Try not to think about it right now. You’re still learning about your body, so just take this as a learning experience and always remember that you ARE able to orgasm. There doesn't seem to be anything physically wrong with you. Now if the problem comes back and you’d like a referral for sex therapy or further testing please don’t hesitate to call the office and we’ll set up another appointment.” “Okay, thank you doctor.” We both stand and she opens the door for

me. She smiles as I walk through. “I’ll let you see yourself out while I finish this paperwork up.” “No problem.” She closes the door behind me and I start walking towards the waiting room. When I get closer to Clay’s door my heart starts beating faster. I wouldn’t dare knock, he might be with a patient. I slow down slightly as I walk by, trying to listen for voices inside his office. I can’t hear a thing. Just as I’m about to pass the door flies open and I jump back in surprise. “Miss Brooks,” he says. “I’m glad to see you. Have you got a moment? I’d like to discuss the results of your last appointment.” He’s grinning and I smile back, eyes still wide in surprise. “Certainly, doctor.” I try to keep my voice steady but my smile is betraying me. He opens the door wider and I slip through. “I thought you’d never finish with Sherry,” he says in a low voice, putting his hands on my hips and pulling me closer. “I didn’t know if you had a patient, I didn’t want to bother you,” I say before his lips meet mine. He devours my kiss and my arms interlock behind his head. “My next patient isn’t until 4:15,” he says glancing at the clock. “We have 17 minutes.”

Chapter 32 - Clay

I heard her voice when she walked down the hall and counted down the minutes until she’d walk back, praying that Sherry wouldn’t be with her. She looks so good in her work clothes. Her skirt hugs her hips and her loose see-through blouse is making my cock hard just looking at it. I pull myself away from her for a second and she gives me the sexiest sly grin I’ve ever seen. I turn her around and march her towards my examination table. I walk behind her with my hands on her waist, pressing my cock into her round ass. I push her down roughly when we get to the table. The paper crunches when her arms slam down on top of it and I bring my hands up her legs under her skirt, feeling that she has nothing but a tiny thong on underneath. Her skirt bunches around her waist when I push it up and I use my other hand to undo my fly. My cock springs free, already rock hard from the thought of her bent over in my office. She turns her head and looks back at me, arching her back so that her ass is ready for me. I

kick her legs open to spread them. My hands are shaking with anticipation when I roll the condom on. I put a hand on the back of her head and push it down while I press my cock against her bare ass. The paper crunches some more as her face hits it and she moans. The sound sends a thrill straight to my cock. She’s the sexiest woman I’ve ever seen, and I can’t wait to shove my cock deep inside her. I hook my finger into her thong and push it to the side, revealing her opening. Two of my fingers slide right into her and I feel her wetness. She wants this just as badly as I do. I ram my cock inside her without warning and she makes a gurgling, moaning noise. “Shh,” I say. “Be quiet. The walls are thin here.” I move my hand over her mouth and ram my cock into her again, harder and deeper this time. My hand muffles her moans and I tell her again to be quiet. I can’t believe I have her bent over my examination table. This is exactly what I’ve been imagining since the first day I saw her in the waiting room. I look down at her, with her face against the white paper, hands gripping the edge of the blue cushion and my cock throbs inside her. My cock is thrusting in and out of her and my fingers are weaving into her hair. I can feel my balls tightening up against me and starting to tingle. I pull her head back by her hair and she moans.

There’s a line of saliva falling from her open mouth to the table and I push my cock deeper inside her. Her pussy is contracting and relaxing violently and the sensation is too much. I close my eyes as my cock explodes into her, sending shivers through my entire body. Her pussy feels too good. I fill the condom with cum and I let out a low moan as I come. We pull ourselves apart and she wipes her face with a hand. She’s panting and smiling at me. “Bad Doctor,” she says with a grin. She pulls her skirt down and tries to straighten her clothing. I look at her and chuckle. Her hair is sticking out every which way and her cheeks are flushed. “You look like you’ve just been fucked hard,” I say to her with a grin. “Imagine,” she replies sarcastically. She moves to the small mirror in the corner and tries to straighten herself out. “You’re very bad, Doctor O’Neill.” “Bad, or good?” I smack her ass playfully. “Maybe both,” she says to me, laughing. She steps away from the mirror and points a thumb at it. “You have 4 minutes left and you’re not looking so professional yourself.” I fix my hair and clothing in the mirror and then turn to her. I give her a long, lingering kiss. I could taste her lips all day and never get sick of

them. Everything about her is intoxicating, addicting. I just want to be near her. We kiss more deeply and then she pulls away from me. Her eyes are bright, like two blue orbs shining for me. It’s easy to get lost in her gaze. “I’d better go,” she says reluctantly. “I’ll see you tonight.” “Can’t wait,” I tell her, and it’s the truth.

Chapter 33 - Valerie

Clay and I are sitting on his sofa facing each other with our legs intertwined together. He’s telling me about Doctor Sherry and it seems I was right, she’s a firecracker. “I’ve only known the woman for a couple weeks at this point and we all go out for a staff party. Within minutes she had men lined up to talk to her, I’m not even joking. I was even wondering if I should try it on with her!” The way he’s laughing makes his whole face light up and I can’t help but laugh along. He grabs my foot absentmindedly and starts massaging it. I groan and lean back to get more comfortable. I take a deep breath. I still haven’t asked him about brunch. “So, Clay, I was talking to Emma earlier and how do you feel about going out for some food on Saturday morning with us? There’s this really good breakfast place we always go to, the food is unreal.” I pause, trying to gauge his reaction. He’s stopped rubbing my foot and is staring at me.

“Oh yeah?” he says. He sounds like he’s trying to keep his voice even. Uh oh. I knew this was a bad idea. It’s moving way too fast. Hanging out together is one thing but meeting each other’s friends is definitely relationship territory. “Yeah you know, it’s no big deal if you’re busy or if you don’t want to. I just thought it might be nice. Plus, she wants to meet you.” “You’ve told her about me?” “A little. Only good things.” I don’t want to elaborate on the fact that she could tell he’d made me come within milliseconds of seeing me last week. Clay is still silent and I bite my tongue, waiting for him to answer. “Yeah that sounds okay. I have to work Saturday morning but I should be out by about 11am. I can meet you at the breakfast place.” I breathe a sigh of relief and he laughs at me. “Sounds like that was hard to ask,” he teases. “A little! I wasn’t sure if you’d think it was moving too fast.” “I’m not going to lie, my initial reaction was to say no. But this whole week has been upside down and I’ve been breaking all my rules so what’s one more rule to break, right?” He puts my foot down beside him and shifts his weight until he’s crawling over to me. Our lips meet and he kisses me tenderly, wrapping his hand

around to the back of my head. It’s too easy, to comfortable with him. Every time I think about him leaving I have a pain in my chest. “I’d love to meet the famous Emma. If she cares about you then I care about her,” he says softly, laying another kiss on my lips. My heart swells. “You’re going to love her.” Or at least I hope so. I need to remind myself there’s a time limit to all this. But that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy each other and enjoy this connection we’ve found. Having a bit of fun for a short amount of time is better than none at all, right? Loving and losing and never loving at all and all that? He’s kissing my neck and moving his hands up my stomach to cup my breast. My body is melting again, legs spreading to wrap them around him. Even with Bryce I was never this comfortable, it was never this easy. It just feels good with Clay. It feels natural. I use my hand to lift Clay’s chin up towards me. Our lips meet each other again and he kisses me passionately. The heat in my core increases as his body weighs down on me. It doesn’t matter that he’s leaving, it doesn’t matter that there’s a time limit. All that matters is him here with me, and the feeling of his arms around me and his lips locked with mine.

Chapter 34 - Clay

Saturday morning comes way too fast. I kiss Valerie goodbye and head in for a few hours of work, but all I can think about is meeting her friend. Meeting the friends is almost as bad as meeting the family. Worse, maybe. Why did I say yes! This is the exact opposite of taking it slow, of keeping it casual. Next thing she’ll want me to hang out with her friends, and I’ll have to introduce her to mine. And then, when things invariably go wrong, or when I leave, it becomes way more difficult to disentangle our lives from each other. I should have stuck to my rules. Sex one time only. Nothing more. But then I think about this past week, of rushing home to see her. I haven’t felt this alive in ages. Even when I’m shadowing at the hospital I don’t get the same excitement as when I see her walking through my door. My world has been flipped on its head and I can’t say that I care. We’ve both been in denial. We haven’t

spoken about Seattle at all. I know it’s on her mind, because she says the same things as me about taking it slow. And then both of us proceed to do the exact opposite. I can’t resist her and she can’t resist me. Maybe she’d follow me to Seattle. I shake my head. Don’t be ridiculous. Here I am thinking meeting the friends is a big ask and then I want to move cross country together! Plus, I see the way she talks about her career. She loves her job and is excelling at it. I could never ask that of her. This thing has a time limit, and we both know it. I get to the office and busy myself with my work. It’s mostly catching up on paperwork which usually bores me, but today I throw myself into it to quiet my spinning brain. It works, and before I know it it’s nearly 11am and it’s time to leave. Time to meet her best friend. I check the address to the restaurant they’re at and start heading in that direction. It’s only a couple stops away on the subway so I should be there within a few minutes. My heart is pounding. I keep adjusting my shirt, my pants, fidgeting with my hair. Deep breath. This will be fine. It’s just one brunch, and then Val and I will leave and I can take her home and take her to bed. I’ll have her undressed in seconds. My cock twinges at the

thought of it. I can’t get enough of her. I jog up the subway stairs and try to orient myself on the street. It’s a short walk up the block to the restaurant. It has a dirty green sign on the outside and dated checkered curtains in the window. Not the kind of joint I’d expect to have amazing food. But then again, if Val recommended it it must be good. I check the sign again and then push the door in. A bell jingles when I step through and I see the place is packed. The food must be good, there’s hardly any seats at all. I scan the room for Valerie and finally spot her in the back corner in a booth. I can’t help but smile. She’s wearing a tight blue top that I can’t wait to rip off her later. Her hair is pulled back and she’s laughing at something her friend said. She covers her mouth and leans over as she laughs. She looks amazing. Her friend has her back to me, but I see a big head of brown curls in front of Val. At least she’s funny, this brunch might not be as torturous as I thought. Val’s shoulders are shaking with laughter, her face is all scrunched up. I can’t look away from her, and I don’t want to. I weave my way through the tables and she finally spots me. Her face lights up and my heart grows in my chest. She makes a move to slide out of the booth to greet me. I can’t take my eyes off

her. I take the final few steps towards her and wrap my arms around her, planting a light kiss on her lips. Her body feels so good in my arms, and she kisses me back tenderly. The feeling of her tits against my chest makes my cock wake up in my pants and I remind myself I’ll be inside her as soon as I get her through the apartment door. I pull away from her and her friend starts talking. “Well, well, well,” she says. I’ve heard that voice before. Almost as if time slows down I turn towards Val’s best friend. The curly brown hair. The red lipstick. The expression on her face is pure disdain as I struggle to connect the dots. I feel the floor dropping away underneath me as her face registers in my brain. She’s the girl from the night before I met Val. I’ve slept with Val’s best friend. My stomach drops and her friend stares at me with disgust, one eyebrow cocked up as she looks me up and down. My jaw is hanging open, I don’t know what to say. I glance at Val and see the smile fading on her face. She looks at me and frowns. “Do you guys know each other?”

Chapter 35 - Valerie

I’ve seen that look on Emma’s face before, and it’s never been good. I look at Clay and see the shock on his face, his mouth open as he turns towards me. What is going on! “Do you guys know each other?” I ask. “I don’t know, do we?” Emma responds quickly, her voice dripping with snark. The three of us stand in silence for a moment. Both Emma and I are staring at Clay and he’s just glancing between the two of us, back and forth. “This is your best friend?” he finally says, turning to me. His voice is incredulous, almost pleading. “Yes, this is my best friend Emma. And again, do you guys know each other?” My heart is pounding in my chest and I feel the panic rising in my throat. Someone needs to explain what’s going on! “I, uh, yeah. We met,” he stammers. I frown. I still don’t understand, but I know I won’t like what I hear.

“We met,” Emma repeats drily. She rolls her eyes and turns back to the coffee in front of her. “Why don’t you tell your new girlfriend how we met?” She emphasises the word girlfriend and for some reason it stings me when she does. She looks really, really angry. I still don’t understand. I turn to Clay and square my shoulders, searching his face. “Clay. Tell me what is going on.” My voice is hard, and I can feel my heart hardening with every second that passes. “We met on a night out,” he says quickly, and then inhales sharply. Emma snorts. I’m glancing from one to the other and finally the realisation hits me. My heart drops like a rock into my stomach and I feel my throat constricting. I turn to Emma. “This is the guy? This is the guy who never called you back?” Emma looks up at me with one eyebrow raised and she doesn’t need to say anything for me to understand. I don’t know what to think. I’m angry at him for hurting my friend but I’m also jealous and I don’t know why. I feel the tears prickling at the corners of my eyes. “Val,” Clay says softly, bringing his hands up to my arms. “It was before I met you, it didn’t mean anything.” Emma snorts again and turns to stare at him.

I pull away from his touch. I don’t know who to trust. “Didn’t mean anything, hey?” Emma starts. “What about you telling me I was the coolest chick you’d met in New York, and I was different, and you were breaking all your rules for me. What did THAT mean? Saying all that bullshit and then never calling me back. You’re a user.” My heart sinks even deeper when I hear the familiar words. Breaking all the rules, being different. I feel like a fool. I look at Clay and the tears start streaming down my face. I hate crying but I can’t help it. “Is that what you tell every girl you sleep with?” I ask. He’s not saying anything, just staring at me with his arms outstretched. I can’t even look at him anymore. I need to get out of here. The walls are closing in on me and I feel like I can’t breathe. I brush past him and rush out the door. I gulp in the fresh air and turn towards the subway station. Tears are still streaming down my face and I can hardly see where I’m going. My steps are unsteady as if I’ve been drinking all day. I hear the bell of the diner’s door jingle behind me, and Clay’s voice calling after me. “Val, wait! It’s not like that! I swear!” “Leave her alone, you pig,” Emma jumps in. She’s at my side now, with her arm wrapped around me. “Don’t listen to him, Val, you’re better

than him. You deserve better.” Her words are like a punch in the gut and I start sobbing into her shoulder. My heart has been split in two and I feel a searing pain in my chest. I can’t walk straight, the ground feels unstable. All I can do is lean into Emma and feel the hot tears streaming down my face. She’s shushing me and guiding me towards the subway. I’m in a daze, my mind is blank and buzzing at once. I’m trying to gulp in the air, to calm my beating heart but all I can do is cry and lean against Emma. I don’t even care how many people are staring at me as I cry. She holds me the whole way back to my apartment, unlocks the door for me and sits me down on my sofa. I sit down and the realisation of who Clay really is sinks in. She’s right, he’s a user. Everything he told me he said the same to her. My tears dry and I stare into space. He’s been lying to me, using me. I’m no different than any of the other girls he sleeps with. He’s made a fool of me. Emma is in the kitchen making us some tea. I can’t move, I can’t speak, I can’t think. I thought I’d found someone that I could trust but all I found was a womaniser. I opened my body and my mind up to him, telling him my deepest secret. I thought he was genuine and he was just pretending the whole time! He said the same exact things to gain Emma’s trust. He slept

with Emma. She told her they had a connection. It doesn’t even matter that it was before he knew me, now I know his true colours. The outrage is building inside me like pressure inside a kettle. Emma comes back with the tea and sits down beside me. “I’m sorry this has happened, Val. The way you were talking about him I thought he was a good guy.” “So did I.” I’m still staring into space. I don’t think I can’t look at her without crying. Clay, my Clay, the one person who can give me an orgasm, has been lying to me. He’s used me, and he’s slept with my best friend.

Chapter 36 - Clay

I watch her walk away with her friend and my chest feels like it’s being ripped to shreds. I can’t move, I just watch as she is taken further and further away from me with every step. She walks down the stairs to the subway and out of view. The second her blonde head disappears down the steps I feel like collapsing onto the ground. The world is spinning around me, I feel like I can’t breathe. I want to run after her, to explain, to tell her how I feel but my feet are like lead. I can’t move. How can I explain to her that she’s different! I told her friend I was breaking the rules for her but that was just a pickup line. Ever since I’ve met Val my life has been better. My heart is being cleaved in half, the pain is too much. Just as I’m realising that she’s what I want, she’s taken away from me by my own stupid actions in the past. I haven’t even looked at another woman since the moment she walked into my office. I turn around and walk the other way. I’m practically stumbling away from where I was

standing. My chest feels like I’ve been stabbed with a ten-inch dagger. I let my feet take me wherever they want to and I wander aimlessly through the busy streets. Everywhere I look I see happy couples holding hands or kissing or laughing together. It’s like a slap in the face. I didn’t know I wanted her and now I can’t stop thinking about her. She’s slipping through my fingers because of my own inability to keep my cock in my pants. I feel changed, different now that I’ve met her and I can’t let myself lose that. I’m still wandering aimlessly. My head hurts, my chest is in pain. I’m tripping over my feet. I need to get her back, I can’t lose her like this. And then, the pain is too much. All of a sudden I’m angry. This is why I have my rules! I never wanted to feel like this, to feel like my heart was ripped out of my chest. This is why I never got attached to women! She just walked away from me and wouldn’t even listen to what I had to say. It’s like the time we spent together meant nothing to her. The connection we had, how easy life felt for the past couple weeks, that just got thrown out the window for what? Because her friend was mad we had a one night stand before I even met her? How is that supposed to be a bad reflection on me?! If her friend had the wrong idea about the

both of us, that’s on her, not on me. And if Valerie won’t listen to her then that’s HER problem! You know what, screw her. I didn’t need her before and I don’t need her now. If she’s going to throw this away so easily, without even hearing me out, then she doesn’t deserve my attention at all. I make my way back to my apartment and close the door behind me. It’s quiet, too quiet in here. My anger evaporates as soon as I walk in to the door. I look at the sofa and think of Val sitting there, with the sun streaming through her hair, laughing at one of my stupid jokes. Everywhere I look I’m reminded of her here and how much better it felt to be with her. I collapse onto my bed and hate how cold it is without her in it. I take a deep breath and close my eyes. I turn around and can still smell her on the pillow. This isn’t right. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I wanted her to come to Seattle with me and now she won’t even look at me. I need to try to get her back, to explain that she’s special. I need to at least try.

Chapter 37 - Valerie

I’m stuck between my best friend and the one man I feel a true connection with. Emma is here, comforting me, but I can’t listen to her. If I go back to Clay, Emma is hurt. She’s been my best friend for years and I can’t imagine my life without her in it. If I don’t talk to Clay…. I can’t even finish the thought. I feel like I’m on the edge of an abyss whenever I think of my life without him. We’ve only known each other a few weeks but I’ve never been so happy, so complete. I feel a sharp pang of jealousy every time I think about Clay and Emma sleeping together. She told me they had a connection. It’s like a stinging pain in the depth of my chest when I think about him having a connection with someone else. I try to think about it rationally. At the end of the day it was before I ever met Clay, not that it makes me feel any better. I’d rather just never think of him with another woman ever, let alone my best friend. He and I have been inseparable ever since we met. If I could just talk to Clay, if he would just

be completely open with me, I think I could get past him and Emma sleeping together. It was a one night stand, after all. I look at Emma and think of how hurt she was when he didn’t call her back. She liked him, even after one night. Maybe that’s all that’s going on with me too. Maybe this crazy connection I thought we had is nothing more than me falling for his charms. But then I think about laying together in bed with our arms and legs intertwined and our bodies closer than possible, talking about nothing and everything. I think about the way he cooked me a romantic rooftop meal when he’d known me for three days. Surely that counts for something? I wonder if she would forgive me if I wanted to be with Clay. Would she stand between us? She’s always had my best interests at heart, but then again I’ve never been interested in the same man as her. I would be heartbroken if this ruined our friendship. He couldn’t even say anything in the restaurant, couldn’t explain or defend himself or even tell me that he cares about me. He just stood there like a statue and a guilty, shocked look on his face. The tears prickle at my eyes again and now I’m crying. Heaving, shuddering sobs rip through my body. Emma wraps her arms around me and I cry on her shoulder.

I pull away and look at her, trying to search her face for answers. “Emma, thank you for bringing me home. I think I’d like to be alone now.” She looks at me and I can’t tell if she’s hurt or understanding. Her face crumples but she nods and leans in for one more hug. We stay like that for a few long seconds and I cry into her shoulder a little bit more. “Is there anything I can do before I go?” She says into my hair. “No, thank you.” She gathers her things and gets ready to leave. When she gets to the front door she pauses and then turns around and comes back to sit beside me. She takes my hands in hers and looks me in deep in the eye. I desperately don’t want this to come between us. She’s sitting there like she’s about to break up with me and the thought of our friendship ending over something like this makes my heart hurt even more than it was before. I can’t lose both of them, not at once, not today. Finally she opens her mouth to speak. “Val, I care about you. You’re my best friend.” She pauses, and I look at her through tearfilled eyes, waiting to hear what she wants to tell me. “I’ve never seen you like this, not even when you and Bryce broke up. Even then, you weren’t this upset. You were more resigned and a bit

relieved.” She takes a deep breath and looks down at the floor beside me, studying my rug like it’s the most interesting rug in the world. When she looks up her eyes are filled with tears and I feel my heart heaving. “Look, at the end of the day, what you and Clay have seems to be special. I saw the way he looked at you before he saw me. He didn’t even see me at the table until I said something.” The tears are streaming down her face and I can’t help but cry as well. I’m sick of crying, but it feels good to cry together. If she could see it too, then maybe it was really there. Maybe Clay does care about me the way I care about him. We’ve only just met but the connection we have is different, deeper. “Val, I,” she hesitates, looking away from me again. “I was jealous at the restaurant. I saw the guy who rejected me and he was all starry-eyed for you. I hate to say it but I was jealous. And now I’m seeing you in so much pain and I can’t, I won’t be the person who does this to you. I care about you and I know how you’ve been talking about him, how much he seems to mean to you even after such a short amount of time. I think that a connection that strong shouldn’t be thrown away. He and I hooking up was a one night stand, and at the end of the day it meant nothing. I thought we

had a connection but all we had was a fleeting mutual attraction. He never looked at me the way he was looking at you. Not even close” I’m crying for real now, sobbing as she talks to me. Her words are like a healing balm. She saw it too, she saw the connection between Clay and I. I’ve always been able to count on Emma and once again I’m glad to have her as a friend. She looks completely composed, except for the tears streaming down her face. Her red lipstick is somehow still perfect. “I could sit here and tell you he’s a jerk and a user and forget about him, but I don’t think that’s true. I saw the way you guys looked at each other and I think it’s too rare to just toss it away. You should talk to him and see what he has to say. It’s rare to meet someone that you click with, it’s worth giving it a shot.” She stops talking and looks at me with her tear-stained cheeks face. I love this girl so much. I lean over and give her another hug, burying my face in her curls. She wraps her arms around me and I can feel that she’s trembling. In her arms I stop sobbing and squeeze her a bit closer. We pull apart and I look at her face. “Emma,” I start. “Thank you.” She shakes her head and I stop talking. “Val, I’ve seen you suffering for the past four years with that asshole Bryce. I’m not going

to be the one who makes you suffer more by standing in the way of you and a guy who seems to genuinely care about you. I’m not saying jump back in his arms but just know that I support you no matter what.” I nod, the words catching in my throat. The relief I feel is immense. I’m not going to lose a friend and a lover. I have a chance. “Plus,” she says, wiping her eyes and looking at me. The corner of her red lips are curling up into a grin. “I would never be the one who stands in the way of those earth-shattering orgasms you’ve been having.” My sobs turn to ugly, sobbing laughter and she laughs along with me. She grabs a tissue and hands it to me. I wipe my face off as best I can and Emma gives me another hug. “I’m going to go now. You’re my best friend Val, I’m not going to lose our friendship over some guy.” I’ve never been more glad to have Emma as a friend. She grabs her bag and heads towards the door. Her curly head disappears and she closes it softly behind her. I lay back on the couch and close my eyes, breathing deep. I don’t know what to think. I get up slowly and peel off my clothes. I get in the shower and turn it on as hot as I can stand. I stand under the steam and water and let it

wash me clean. My mind clears as I wash myself from head to toe, taking my time. Stepping out of the shower, I dry myself off and wrap my hair in a towel. I grab my housecoat and wrap it around me, snuggling into its fresh warmth. I feel better. I dry my hair with the towel and hang it up, going over to the kitchen to make myself some more tea. I’ll take the afternoon and evening to myself to watch a movie and order some pizza. I look at my phone on the coffee table. Maybe I’ll text Clay, if I work up the nerve. I just need some time to calm down. I need to breathe, and process what’s been going on. Just when the kettle starts boiling I hear a knock on the door. I wrap the housecoat around me tighter and tie it off at the waist. I walk to my front door and open it. “Hey,” he says. His eyes are rimmed red and his clothes are crooked, his hair dishevelled. “Clay,” I say, still in shock. “What are you doing here?”

Chapter 38 - Clay

She’s wearing a bathrobe, her hair is wet and she has no makeup on. My voice catches in my throat when I see her. She looks amazing and all I want to do is wrap my arms around her. “Val, I need to talk to you.” She’s standing at the door and slowly steps aside for me to walk in, closing the door behind me. She runs her fingers through her hair and pats them down the side of her housecoat and then looks up at me. “Did you mean the things you’ve been saying to me, about being different? Have you just been telling me what I want to hear?” Her voice is strained, and her eyes look like she’s been crying. “No! Of course not, Val…” My heart is pounding in my chest. I want, I need to make her understand that it’s been different with her. In a couple weeks she’s made me reevaluate my entire life, my priorities, my goals. Having her near me has changed the way I think. I don’t know how to put that into words and I just stare at her, speechless. She waits for me to talk

and then sighs. “Would you like some tea? I’ve just boiled some water.” “I, uh.. Sure.” She walks by me into the kitchen and I turn around. Her apartment is small and cozy. She has an old couch that looks comfy and a flowery rug that dominates the room. There’s eclectic hangings on the wall in a sort of boho chic kind of way. It’s styled in an effortless kind of way, but I can tell lots of effort has gone into decorating. I walk over to a poster of Andy Warhol’s Marilyn when I hear her re-enter. She’s holding two steaming mugs and sets them down on the coffee table. She sits down on one end of the sofa and I take the other. We both take a sip of the hot liquid in silence. I still haven’t found the words to say anything. She’s staring at me with those blue eyes and I simultaneously want to look away and want to get lost in them. Finally she breaks the silence. “Since you won’t start, I will. Clay, it hurt me to hear that you’ve been feeding me the same lines as all your other girls.” “Val! It’s not like that, I - “ she puts her hand up and I stop talking. “It made me feel like what I felt between us was a lie. It made me feel like opening up to you was a mistake, and that you were just using me for sex. I know that you’re leaving, you’re going to

Seattle, but I just thought… I don’t know. I thought we had something different between us.” “We do!” Finally I can speak, I’ve found my voice. I lean in towards her, putting my mug down on the table. “Val, these past few weeks with you have been happier and more exciting for me than the past few years combined. I’ve been working so hard and avoiding any sort of relationship so much that I didn’t know what I was missing. Until you.” I take a deep breath and I see the tears gathering in her eyes. “Val, babe. I’m so, so sorry that I hooked up with Emma. You have to believe me that it was before I’d ever met you, and it didn’t mean anything to me. If I’d have known then that it would cause this between us I wouldn’t have gone anywhere near her. I know - ” my voice cracks, “I know what that feels like and I never, ever, ever want to make you feel that way.” The tears are overflowing down her cheeks and she brings her hand up to wipe them away. She takes a sip of her tea and all I want to do is gather her in my arms and hold her close. “I won’t lie to you, I used to like going out and picking up women but since you walked into my office that Saturday morning I haven’t even wanted to, not even a little bit. You’ve shown me there can be more. I want you. Only you.” “Oh, Clay just be quiet,” she says, putting

her mug down on the coffee table. She flies over to me and our lips collide, her arms are around my neck. My hands search for the waistband of her housecoat and untie it, reaching inside to feel her skin in my arms. She’s naked underneath, and I pull her nearer to me, wrapping my arms around her and holding her tight. I bring my lips to her neck, breathing in deeply to smell her fresh scent. This is where she belongs, in my arms. I tilt her chin up with my fingers and place my lips over hers again, kissing her more slowly. I want to taste her, smell her, feel her next to me. I don’t want to miss a single second of this.

Chapter 39 - Valerie

Being in Clay’s arms feels like coming home. He’s got them wrapped around me tightly and I wrap mine around him. I don’t want to let go, not now, not ever. His lips taste so sweet, and his body feels strong and safe. His hands reach down and grab my ass, pulling me up so that I’m straddling him. My housecoat has fallen open and I’m completely naked on top of him. He slides it over my shoulders and then slips his hands down my chest to grab my tits. I close my eyes and enjoy the strong, soft touch of his hands all over me. My heart flutters every time he touches me. I feel like my chest is going to explode, my heart is overflowing. He wants me! Only me! I open my eyes and look at him. At his dark eyes as they stare back at me. There’s a softness in them that I haven’t seen before. Emma was right. The way he looks at me, it has to be real. I can’t believe it wouldn’t be. I can feel the emotion emanating from me as we look at each other, drink each other in.

I stand up and take his hand in mine, leading him to my bedroom. I turn around and slip my hands under his shirt, helping him slide it overhead. I take a second to run my fingers all over his chiseled chest, his abs, back up around his neck. He leans down and kisses me softly, and then harder. His hand is on the small of my back and I feel myself melting into him. My hands search for his fly, trying to unbutton him as our lips are locked together. His hands reach down to help me and then we’re both naked. He pushes me backwards onto the bed and I feel the weight of his body on top of me. It feels good, so good to be here with him. He glances over to the side and back at me, grinning. “I see you went with Girl’s Best Friend,” he says. “A personal favourite of mine.” I look over and feel my cheeks burn when I see my prescription vibrator, proudly on display on my bedside table. Exactly where I put it right after I threw it against the wall the first day I got it. He grins and leans over to grab it. He turns it on and then slides over beside me, onto his side. Our legs are intertwined and he uses his leg to spread mine open. He brings the vibrator down towards my mound and around my lips, teasing me. The vibrations are strong, and I lean back into the bed to get used to them. His lips find my breasts

and he starts sucking on my nipples while the vibrator moves closer and closer to my slit. Every flick of his tongue over my rock hard nipples sends a direct shock towards my centre. I never knew they could be so sensitive. He shifts his weight and moves to the other one, and then finally the vibrator moves up towards my bud. He circles my clit with it and turns the vibrations on higher. The electric warmth inside me starts growing quickly. I’ve never experienced anything like this and before I know it my orgasm surprises me and explodes from my centre outwards. My limbs contract and my back arches and I hear Clay moaning with me. Shockwaves of pleasure course through my entire body as he plays with my clit. Finally my body relaxes and he moves the vibrator away from my ultra sensitive bud. I open my eyes and look at him in shock. Maybe it is a Girl’s Best Friend. “I’ll go grab a condom, I need to be inside you,” he says as he shifts his weight towards the side of the bed. “Are you.. Have you been tested? Do you need a condom? I’m on the pill.” I’m surprising myself saying that. He looks at me with his dark eyes wide open. “Yeah I was tested last week, right after I met you. Are you sure?”

In response I put my arms around him and wrap my legs around him. He shifts his weight on top of me and I can feel his hard cock pressed against my hipbone. The bare, hot skin of it burns against me and I can feel myself getting wetter. He takes his cock in his hand and places it against my opening. My pussy is tight and wet from my orgasm. He starts pushing himself into me and my mouth falls open. I feel myself stretch to accommodate his cock and I moan as he pushes it deeper and deeper inside me. It feels so good to be filled with him, to feel his skin against mine. I never thought it would make such a difference. His thrusts are long and deep, and I can feel every ridge, every vein of his cock rubbing against my walls. We’re truly connected now. Clay’s eyes are closed and his mouth is open in a small ‘o’ as he enters me. He exhales slowly when his balls press up against me and I shift my hips to let him get a tiny bit deeper. His long, slow thrusts travel straight through me and I feel myself contract around him. His weight is on me and I can feel his breath on my shoulder as he grunts with every hard thrust. My entire body is screaming with me and I erupt into another orgasm. The tightening and contracting of my walls around his cock make him even harder. He groans and thrusts harder, faster until I can feel

his cock pumping his seed into me. I can’t stop panting, it feels so good to have him inside me like this. I can feel every movement of his, I can feel the exact moment his orgasm fills me. Clay lays against me and our sticky, sweaty skin connects us everywhere. He rolls over beside me and onto his back, extending an arm for my head to rest on his shoulder. We stay like that for a few moments, saying nothing to each other. I can feel every breath and every heartbeat of his. I don’t want to move. “I wasn’t expecting that,” he says. “Neither was I, but I liked it.” He turns his head and wraps his other arm around me, tenderly kissing me once again. It feels good to next to him. My heart twinges when I think of his plans to move to Seattle, and I know that we can’t keep avoiding the topic. For now I just rest in his arms.

Chapter 40 - Clay

I wake up and realise I’d fallen asleep. Val is sleeping next to me and has the most peaceful look on her face. Her arm is flung across my chest and I run my fingertips along the length of it. She shivers and wakes up gently. I turn my head to look at the bedside clock. “What time is it?” she asks sleepily. “It’s 6:30pm,” I respond. “I’m starving.” Her voice is muffled into my shoulder “What else is new,” I say laughing. “You’re always hungry.” She groans in response. “So am I. We should get up.” I follow her to the bathroom and we jump in the shower together. I grab a loofah and soap it up before turning towards Val. I start with her back and shoulders, moving down over her perfect ass. The suds cover her body and I turn her around. I scrub her collarbone down to her chest, circling her breasts and massaging them as I move over her stomach. I move the loofah over her mound,

washing between her legs and then lean down to wash the rest of her. She places a small foot on my leg and I soap it up. I love the way she giggles when it tickles her. She rinses off and takes the loofah from me. It feels so good, so intimate to be in the shower here with her. She runs her hands over me, making sure to wash my body from head to toe. It feels like a new beginning. If I thought we were connected before, this afternoon has shown me what true intimacy feels like. When we’re clean we both rinse off again and step out of the shower. The steam fills the bathroom and the mirror fogs up as soon as we step out. Val hands me a towel and I dry myself. Something so simple as showering together has never made me feel as good. I like being around her, being close enough to touch, being comfortable enough with each other to wash together. I didn’t think I wanted it until I almost lost it. We get dressed quietly, sneaking glances at each other. When she walks by with those tight jeans on I can’t resist smacking her ass. She giggles playfully. “Now now, Clay. None of that. It’s food time.” We head out together into the fresh evening air. It’s nice to get out, to walk together. I like

having her beside me when we walk down the street. I feel proud to be the man next to her. I see how all the guys check her out and then glance at me and it makes my chest swell up with pride to be the one she chose. I grab her hand in mind and it fits perfectly as we stroll around the corner to the local pasta place. “Another gem,” Val says proudly when we get there. “Doesn’t look like much but they make all their own pasta fresh in-house and have the best meatballs you’ll ever taste.” “I think I have the best meatballs you’ll ever taste, but we can leave that open to discussion,” I respond. She laughs and elbows me lightly in the ribs. I’ll say anything to make her laugh, to see how it brightens her whole face. I love when she finds something really funny and her whole body shakes with laughter in the most infectious way possible. It’s cute and sexy and endearing at the same time. I smile and open the door to the restaurant for her, happy to be here together. We sit down at the table and I’m finding it hard to focus on the menu. I keep thinking about the way it felt to be inside her, to feel the real her like that. The raw her. She catches me staring at her and sticks her tongue out at me. The waiter reappears and Val orders first. “I’ll have the spaghetti and meatballs. Can you make it extra saucy please?”

I almost choke on my water and she glances over at me with laughter in her eyes. How is she keeping a straight face! The waiter doesn’t even blink, “Certainly, miss. And for you, sir?” “I’ll have the same,” I squeak out. The waiter walks away and Val breaks into that silent, shaking laughter that I love so much. Her shoulders are shaking up and down and her hand is covering her mouth. The way her face scrunches is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Just when we’ve recovered from our laughter I hear a familiar voice behind me. My heart drops when I hear the overly sultry, honeysweet voice that reeled me in so many years ago. “Well if it isn’t Clay O’Neill,” the voice says, amused. “Is it Doctor Clay O’Neill by now? And you have a new plaything! How cute.” I turn around and see her. She looks just like she did eight years ago, curvy and gorgeous with sex dripping out of every pore. The only difference is that this time it doesn’t turn me on. If anything, it turns me off completely and my blood runs cold. She’s tall with jet black hair. It’s perfectly straight and falls to her waist. Her features are sharp. She’s beautiful, but looking at her I feel nothing but disgust. She does nothing for me except fill me with dread. Val is looking at her and then me, waiting for an explanation.

“Caroline. This is Val and she’s not my plaything.” I know my voice is excessively curt. Caroline extends a long hand and I see the vermillion polish on the end of her fingers, each nail sharpened to a point. Claws, I think. Seems appropriate. Val reaches up and shakes her hand gently and I resist the impulse to shudder when the two of them touch. “It’s nice to meet you,” Val says politely. I can’t help but feel like her voice is a breath of fresh air after the honeyed, sticky sweetness of Caroline’s drawl. “So what stories has Clay here been telling you. I’m sure he’s mentioned me,” she says with a sly smile playing over her lips. She looks at me and raises a thin eyebrow. “No, actually, he hasn’t. How do you guys know each other?” “Oh, you know,” Caroline responds casually, waving her claws in the air by her head. She uses her hand to move her long hair behind her shoulder. “We dated for a few years, back when he was a stripper.” Val’s eyes widen and she looks at me in shock. I glance at Caroline and open my mouth to tell her to be quiet. She continues before I can jump in. “What, he didn’t tell you? Yeah, he didn’t tell me either. Then I found out he had girls all

over him. It’s what broke us up. He just couldn’t keep his hands to himself.” Val’s jaw is hanging open and she closes it, only to let it fall open again. Her eyes are burning through me, I can see the betrayal in them. “Val..” I start. “Don’t listen to her. It’s not true.” Caroline shifts her hips and places a hand on my shoulder. I flinch away. “Why shouldn’t she listen, Clay. You afraid she’ll find out what kind of guy you really are?” She laughs an emotionless laugh and then waves at us both before cat-walking out of the restaurant.

Chapter 41 - Valerie

I watch as that woman tosses a grenade at our table and then casually struts out the door. My mind is moving at a hundred miles an hour. Stripper!? Couldn’t keep his hands to himself!? I look across the table at the man on the other side and realise I know absolutely nothing about him. For the second time today I feel like an absolute fool. I’ve let myself be carried away by my own emotion and I’ve put myself in this position. Here I am, completely infatuated with a man who has not only evidently slept with half of New York, but who just tells me what I want to hear to get between my legs. Hot pangs of jealousy shoot through me. My cheeks are burning and my heart feels completely hollow. How could I do this to myself. I knew this morning, after I learned he’d slept with my best friend that I should just forget about him. I should have just listened to myself. Emma was probably just feeling sorry for me and telling me to talk to him to make me feel better. I should never have wasted my time with

him, and I definitely should have walked away when I had the chance. Who do I think I am, having a fling with a hot doctor?! Of course he’s running around with every girl he can. I can’t believe I let him in when he showed up at my door this afternoon. My cheeks burn when I think about our sex this afternoon, about the intimacy of the shower. I’m an idiot. The woman’s words are playing on repeat in my head. They were together. They broke up because he couldn’t keep his hands to himself. He was saying it’s not true but of course he would say that. We’ve just spent the past couple weeks spending every possible moment together and he somehow forgot to mention he used to be a STRIPPER?? I don’t exactly have a problem with it, a part of me might even be turned on by the thought. But as I look at him across the table from me I can’t help but feel like I’ve been lied to. I’ve been played. I don’t know anything about him and I’ve opened up to him completely. “Val, I can explain. She was lying.” “Did you used to be a stripper?” He pauses, his eyes burning into me. He opens his mouth and answers slowly. “Yes, it’s what put me through medical school.” “And when we were talking about our pasts, you didn’t think that was worth mentioning?”

“I…” I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to hear his explanation, his excuse, his way of weaselling his way back into my bed. My bed. I’ve let myself get carried away by the promise of the orgasms I’ve so desperately wanted for so many years. He couldn’t even tell me that he dated a girl before! All he’s ever told me is that he had a “rule” to not date women long term to focus on his career, and that he was “breaking” that rule for me. What a load of horseshit. I can’t believe I’ve been so blind. I stand up and shake my head. “I can’t do this, Clay.” “Val, wait!” His eyes are pleading, his arms raised in supplication towards me. “I can explain, just give me a second.” “I don’t want to hear any more of your explanations!” People in the restaurant are staring at us and for once I don’t give a shit. “All you’ve done since this morning is backpedal and explain and wheel and deal your way back into my heart. Well we’re done. You’re done.” His dark eyes are brimming with tears, boring through me like lasers. It’s all an act. I don’t know why he bothers. He could have any girl he chooses, why go through all this trouble with me. I look at him one more time, from head to

toe. His t-shirt is tight across his muscled chest, forearms strong and vascular. His neck is red, veins popping out in anger. I can see his pulse in them, pumping his blood at a fast pace. Chiseled jaw with a bit of stubble and those eyes that have captivated me since I walked into his office. Not anymore. No orgasm is worth this amount of hurt. I follow in the other woman’s footsteps and stumble out the door. It’s all I can do to make it to my apartment before I break down. Hot tears of lava stream down my face, burning trails down my cheeks. I opened up to him, gave myself up to him in body, mind… and heart. Now I realise none of it was real. He’s an expert at telling me what I want to hear. I must have been amusing to him, the girl who can’t come who’s now completely infatuated with him. God, I feel like an idiot. With the door closed and locked behind me I crumple onto the floor. Once again I’m in my apartment, destroyed. My arms and legs feel weak, I’m dizzy with pain. The blurry outlines of my furniture are barely visible through my tear-filled eyes and I can’t help but cry even harder. My heart is shattered and I sit on the floor as I try to understand what just happened. Emma was right to walk away from him this morning, to call him a user. He’s played me and

now he’ll move onto the next girl and play her too. He’ll go on “breaking his rules” whenever he wants to get in someone’s bed. Deep breaths. I need to calm down. One thing is for sure, it won’t be my bed. That thought doesn’t make me feel better, it might even be making me feel worse. The searing pain in my chest isn’t subsiding, I can’t move from my spot on the floor. I was falling for him and now it’s like the curtain has been lifted. He’s been like a drug to me, waltzing into my life and sweeping me off my feet, showing me pleasure like I’ve never experienced. Sobs rake through my body, making my shoulders shake as the tears fall from my eyes. I should have known I didn’t deserve to feel that kind of happiness.

Chapter 42 - Clay

No words can explain the hurricane of emotion inside me right now. My blood feels like fire in my veins as I try to understand what just happened. The look on Val’s face when she put up her hands and walked away from me was pure hurt and anger and betrayal. If she’d only given me a second, I could explain! For the second time, that woman, that blackhaired snake, slithered her way into my life and left me holding my heart in my hand with a hole in my chest. Except this time it’s not just me she’s hurt, it’s Val. The waiter walks up to the table with two steaming plates of pasta and all of a sudden I realise where I am. I look around and see the sideways glances from the tables around me. I’m naked and exposed. It’s not true! I want to scream. I’m not that kind of guy! The plates are dropped in front of me and the waiter hovers awkwardly.

“Will the lady be coming back?” he asks tentatively. I look up at him in a daze. “I’ll just get the bill please.” “No problem. Would you like this food to take away?” “No, just the bill.” I can’t eat right now. I can’t think, I can’t talk. I’m not even sure if I’ll be able to stand. Just when I thought I had Val back, when my heart was singing just looking at her across from me, she was ripped away from me again. I need to fix this. My heart is beating faster, I’m frantic. I need to explain. I need to tell her everything. Tell her what happened before. I need her to listen. I can’t lose her. I can’t go back to the way things were! She’s shown me how good things can be, what happiness tastes like. It tastes like her. I pay the bill and get out. Stumbling, frantic, panicking, I make my way towards her. I need to talk to her. I run up the stairs to her apartment and bang on her door. “Val! Valerie! Please open the door!” “Go away!” The words sound like they’re coming from just the other side of the door. Her

voice, her beautiful voice sounds strained and choked. A knife passes through my heart like hot butter at the thought that I did this to her, I made her feel like this. No, I didn’t. Caroline did. “Val, please,” I plead to the door, my voice softer. “The things she was saying weren’t true. I can tell you everything.” I hear shuffling on the other side of the door and the lock scrapes open. My heart beats faster and I feel a tendril of hope sparking inside me. The door flies open and there she is. Her eyes are red, her cheeks blotchy. The tears are still streaming down her face and my heart breaks all over again. Her pain shoots through me and almost knocks me down. My arms are aching for her, I just want to wrap myself around her and make it better. She speaks before I can. “Leave.” Her bottom lip is shaking violently but her voice is low and firm. My heart drops like a stone. “What?” “Leave, and don’t come back.” “Val, just let me explain.” “I told you, Clay. I’m sick of your explanations. You’ve made a fool out of me one too many times. So you can make me come, so what!” she spits the words at me. “You’re a player, and congratulations, you’ve played me. Don’t

come back.” The door slams and locks with a finality that knocks me back. Just like that, she’s gone. I’ve lost her. Somehow I make it home. I have no idea how, I can’t remember getting here. She’s gone. I’ve lost her.

Chapter 43 - Valerie

I wake up with the sun streaming through my open blinds. For a couple blissful seconds before I’m fully awake I don’t remember what happened last night. I bring my hands up to rub my eyes. I realise they’re almost swollen shut and then the tidal wave of emotion rushes back to me and kicks me down. I try to rub my eyes and coax them open. The bright sunlight is almost like a slap in the face. How dare the sun shine when I feel like I’ve fallen into the deepest, darkest hole on earth. Thank goodness it’s Sunday and I don’t need to go to work today. I scrape myself up and swing my legs over the side of the bed. My whole body is sore. I simultaneously feel like I’ve run a marathon and like have the worst hangover of my life. I groan as I try to convince my legs to work. My room is a mess. Discarded clothes from last night and towels from our shower are littered around the room, taunting me. Reminders that he was here. Reminders of the few blissful hours we

had together before it all came crashing down. Ignorance is bliss, as they say. I can’t ignore it any longer. I know who he is, what he is. I need to move on. I had a good life before him, and I can have a good life after him. My good life before him was good except for the thing that drove me to him in the first place. I wonder if my newfound ability to climax is gone with him. I feel the tears welling up when I think about losing him, his companionship, his smile, his sex. My heart hardens. I need to stop thinking like that. If I let him in again I’ll only be betrayed again. I wander through my apartment over to the kitchen. I’m on autopilot when I put on some coffee and then walk over to my purse, still sitting on the floor next to the door where I dropped it last night. My phone has one message. It’s from him. I need to talk to you. I don’t really give a shit what you need, I think to myself. How about what I need! I need to not feel like a fool. I need to feel like I’m not being led on by some guy who is amused by me for some reason. She was right when she called me his plaything.

The anger flashes through me and starts another avalanche of emotions. I’m about to succumb to it, to let myself crumple up into a ball again and cry myself dry when my phone buzzes again. I almost hurl it across the room without looking at it. I can’t talk to him! Can’t stand the thought of him pestering me again! Just leave me alone!! Emma’s name flashes on the screen and my anger subsides. You okay? Two simple words that break me down. No, I’m not okay. I’m pretty fucking far from okay. I’m on the floor again. I’m sick of crying, sick of feeling broken and empty. I wish Clay was here. It makes me sick to admit it. I’m weak, but oh how I wish I could snuggle into his arms and hear his heartbeat. The thought of his body next to mine makes me cry even harder. No. She answers a millisecond later. On my way.

I take a deep, rasping breath. It’s over.

Chapter 44 - Clay

Three months later... Seattle is cold and rainy. I’ve been working nights for the past two weeks, which means Seattle has been dark, cold, and rainy. I make it home just as the sun is coming up and collapse into bed. Working under Dr. Willis is thankless. He’s a brilliant cardiologist and I’ve been learning new things every day. It’s everything I’ve been working towards. The hospital is unlike any I’ve ever seen. Modern, cutting edge, buzzing with energy. It’s the perfect work environment in every way, and the best step for my career. I’ve made it. At least, that’s what I keep telling myself. I stare up at the ceiling and my thoughts take me across the country to my bedroom in Soho. I think about the first lazy Sunday morning that Val and I had together. I woke up and looked over at her, with her hair spread on the pillow around her head. Her face was peaceful, serene, angelic. I remember seeing the way her chest rose and fell with every breath and vowing to protect her as

fiercely as I could. I failed to protect her. Maybe I just needed to protect her from me. And here I am, alone, on the other side of the country. I’ve caused her so much pain she wouldn’t even talk to me. I stopped trying to call after a couple weeks, she never once answered. I turn over onto my side. Anger bubbles up inside me for the thousandth time. I run through the same script in my head. Fuck her. She wouldn’t even give me the chance to explain! She shut me out based on the words of some woman she’d never met. Forget about her. Move on. Still, as usual when I try to convince myself that it was all wrong, I feel a pang in my heart. She was only trying to protect herself. First the morning with Emma, and then the evening running into Caroline was too much for her. I could see it in her face. It kills me that I caused her pain. After Val shut me out it was almost a relief. I haven’t been able to look at another woman, let alone talk to one. Davey tried so many times to get me to come out with him, but the thought of anyone else was too painful to bear. I’m practically a recluse now. I see how some of the nurses at the hospital look at me, but I can’t even muster the energy to flirt. I’ve been able to get back to what’s important. To get back to what I was working towards all along. To get back to my career, my work, my

vocation. I’m here now, where I’ve always wanted to be, doing what I’ve always wanted to do. And yet, and yet… I’m here alone. My bed is cold. I don’t hear the musical ring of her laughter, I don’t get to see the sparkle in her eye when she makes a joke. My arms feel empty, my skin is almost crawling for her touch. It’s the same thing every day. Every day I get home from a long shift and the minute my mind switches off from work it switches on to her. I can’t take it anymore. I only knew her for a couple weeks but the spark was so strong, my feelings for her were so pure. When she shut me out I felt the same thing as when Caroline hurt me all those years ago. Powerless, angry, hurt. Except this time I feel like I’ve lost something that I actually want to get back, but I know I never will. Every day I get home when the sun comes up and I wonder why I’m doing this. Now that I’m here it feels like an empty goal. My dream is becoming a reality but all I want to do is share it with her. The taste of success has turned to ash in my mouth, and only the taste of Valerie Brooks can make it sweet again. I toss and turn until finally exhaustion overcomes me and I fall into the sweet relief of a dead sleep. Maybe I’ll be lucky and she’ll stay out of my

dreams tonight.

Chapter 45 - Valerie

“Hurry up, Val!” “I’m coming!” The impatience in Emma’s voice is just hovering beneath the surface of her words. Finally, I appear out of my bedroom and give her a twirl. “How do I look!” I say with a smile. “Fucking smoking hot!” Emma exclaims. I laugh. She’s finally been able to drag me out on a Friday night. Ever since that last day with Clay I’ve kept to myself and buried myself in work. I’m so far ahead on the leaderboard every month that I’ve already been promoted to Regional Agent’s Manager. I’m the youngest Regional Manager in the firm’s history. It’s bittersweet, though. The success at work comes nowhere near the high I was on for those few weeks three months ago. It feels somehow hollow and meaningless. Those weeks where everything was falling into place. I shake my head to dispel these thoughts. Emma is tapping her foot impatiently so I slip on my heels and head

for the door. “I’m so glad you’re coming out with me, Val. It’s not healthy to be working as much as you are and not getting out. Next thing you know you’ll have 17 cats and will be knitting them all sweaters for Christmas.” “Okay, first of all, there’s nothing wrong with knitting. Second of all, have you ever SEEN a kitten?!” I protest. She rolls her eyes. “I’m just not into the bar scene, I actually like being at home.” “It’s not about the bar scene and you know it. It’s that asshole doctor who messed you up.” I feel a stabbing pain in my heart when she mentions him. I’ve spent the past three months convincing myself that he IS an asshole and I AM better off without him. And yet, and yet.... There’s a piece of me missing. After that day I cried for three days straight. Emma was there, once again, to pick up the pieces. My thoughts flick back to that evening on the roof, under twinkling lights of the city, when he made me an amazing meal and made me feel special. I remember when we clinked our wine glasses together, he looked so strong and handsome. His eyes were dark but they were sparkling with soft emotion and kindness. It’s the kindness that doesn’t make sense. I still don’t understand how someone so kind, so

tender, could be so… fake. As hard as I’ve tried to convince myself that I’m better off without him, a small part of me still doesn’t believe it. Even now, when I’ve spent the last three months convincing myself I made the right decision by cutting him off, I feel a warmth in my centre at the thought of him. At the thought of his strong, muscular body that looks like it was chiseled in stone. I can almost, almost feel the sparks fly across my skin at his touch. Almost, but not quite. I haven’t told Emma that I haven’t had an orgasm since the last day I saw him. Truthfully, I haven’t really tried. There’s no point. I know, deep down, that I can’t come without his touch. Emma continues. “Listen, we’re not going to try to hook you up with anyone. We just need to get you out of this freaking apartment and around some other people! People you don’t work with.” Tonight is the first time I’m going out since I stopped talking to him and I’m incredibly nervous. I don’t even know why! Nervous to talk to other guys, maybe. Nervous I’ll run into him. A part of me almost hopes I will, but I chide myself for admitting it. New York is a big city, the chances of running into him are minuscule. And plus, he should be in Seattle by now. The thought of him gone away to the other side of the country is simultaneously a relief and

the worst thing I could imagine. Emma and I hop in a cab and head to the newest lounge down the street. It’s packed to the rafters with people and my heartbeat increases immediately. Emma grabs my elbow and gives it a squeeze, sensing my unease. “It’ll be okay,” she whispers in my ear. She struts into the bar and as usual all eyes are on her. She’s sex on legs, and I’m glad that the attention isn’t on me. I just need to find a corner to hide in now to calm my anxious mind. My eyes scan the room instinctively. I’m looking for him, I know I am. What am I doing? I’m the one who stopped talking to him. Even if he was here, who’s to say he would even give me the time of day. He would probably have some bombshell on his arm. Maybe even more than one. The thought of Clay with another woman makes me lightheaded. I feel sick. Of course he’s been with other women since me, he’s a player. That’s what he does. I need to get over this, and going out tonight is the first step. I follow Emma to the bar and we order some drinks. She turns around and is immediately accosted by a tall, good-looking blond guy. He’s got that wind-whipped hair look that reminds me of a surfer. I wonder how he achieved that look in New York City. I look at him and take a deep

breath. I’m not sure I can do this. Emma gives my elbow a squeeze again and turns to the guy. “Guess what! I just bought her seventeenth cat today!” She tells him excitedly. “I’ve started knitting them Christmas sweaters already, want to see some photos?” He opens his mouth and then closes it like a fish out of water, and then spins on his heels and walks away. I burst out laughing. I love this girl.

Chapter 46 - Clay

I’m standing outside Dr. Willis’ office with my arm raised, ready to knock. He’s asked me for a meeting this evening, before my shift starts for the night. I’m unexpectedly nervous. He’s either going to tell me I’m shit at my job and it’s not working out or else praise me. I have no idea which it is, and that in itself isn’t a great sign. “Come in,” I hear his gruff voice call through the door after I knock. I turn the knob and step through the door. My palms are sweaty and I wish they weren’t. I walk in hesitantly and he motions to a chair on the other side of his desk, barely taking his eyes off the files in front of him. I sit across from him and put my hands in my lap, and then on the armrest, and then on my lap again. I hate being nervous. “You wanted to see me?” I hate how squeaky my voice is. It’s like I’m going through puberty all over again! I’m not usually like this. “Doctor O’Neill,” he starts. He lifts his eyes off his papers and looks at me over his glasses. “Thank you for coming in.”

He takes his glasses off his face and folds them deliberately, placing them in front of him on his desk. He straightens his papers and then folds his hands and looks up at me. He has a full head of curly grey hair with thick, bushy eyebrows. He’s staring at me from under his eyebrows and I’m willing myself not to squirm under the gaze. “I’ve asked you here for us to have a performance review. You’ve been here three months, and I thought it appropriate to give you some feedback.” I nod. “That sounds good, I’d love to hear your feedback.” “Good.” He leans back in his chair, still looking at me. “You’re a brilliant doctor.” “I, uh.. thank you, Dr. Willis.” It feels good to hear those words from him. “You’re a brilliant doctor but you’re lacking something,” he continues without acknowledging my words. My eyebrows shoot up. He pauses. He certainly knows how to be dramatic. “You’re lacking something and up until now I haven’t been able to put my finger on it. Your bedside manner is professional yet empathetic. Your paperwork is impeccable and your surgical skills are world class.” He pauses again, leaning forward towards me. “I’m just not sure you want to be here.” “What! No! I do, Doctor. I’ve been

working for the past ten years just to be here, working for you. I swear, this is exactly where I want to be.” “Hmm.” He pushes his chair back and stands up. He turns his back to me and stares out the window behind him at the evening sky. The streetlights are just starting to come on as the sunlight goes down. As usual, grey clouds dominate the sky. He stands at the window with his hands clasped behind his back. “Sometimes, where you think you want to be and where you actually want to be are two different places.” He spins around and looks at me. The intensity of his gaze makes my heart beat faster. What is he saying? Of course I want to be here. “Have you heard of the sunk cost fallacy, Doctor O’Neill?” “Yes, of course. It’s an economic concept where you become too emotionally attached to your investments and as time goes on the more difficult it becomes to drop the investment, even when you’re operating at a loss.” “Precisely.” He’s still staring at me with those laser beams. “Except it’s not only an economic concept. It’s really more of a human psychology concept; it can be applied to all types of scenarios.”

He goes quiet and we both stay there, unmoving, staring at each other. The cogs in my brain are spinning, spinning, trying to figure out what he’s trying to tell me. “Where do you want to be, Doctor O’Neill?” The weight of his question bears down on me. “Here! Right here, working for you. This is where I want to be.” I answer a little too quickly, a little too loudly. It sounds like I’m trying to convince myself. Dr. Willis sits back down and opens the files back up. He answers me without looking up. “Think about this conversation, Doctor. I believe your shift is about to start.” I nod and stand up to leave. I open my mouth to say something, and then realise I have no idea what I want to tell him. I turn around and walk out of his office. Once outside I let out a deep sigh. The ground feels like it’s lurching underneath me, I don’t know what is right or wrong anymore. Does he always have to be so cryptic?! Except I know that he wasn’t being cryptic. He’s incredibly perceptive, and he knows that my heart isn’t in cardiology. It’s in New York, with Valerie Brooks.

Chapter 47 - Valerie

I say goodbye to my client, knowing I’ve made another sale. She shakes my hand and then hails a cab, jogging from the building’s awning to the cab door to avoid getting drenched in the rain. I look up at the sky. No signs of this storm clearing. The rain is belting down, bouncing up off the sidewalk and flooding the gutters. I look down the street and chew the inside of my cheek. I’m only a block away from that cafe in Soho, from that loft. My heart beats a little bit faster when I glance in that direction. A nice, warm latte would be really nice right now. I am in the neighbourhood, and if I happen to glance up at a certain set of windows, that won’t hurt, will it? It’s probably empty, or has new owners. He’s definitely in Seattle by now. I pull out my umbrella and open it up, heading in the direction of the cafe. I duck in and fold up my umbrella, leaving it by the door and shaking my hair out. I glance out the coffee shop windows at the other side of the street, but I can barely make out the building through the rain. I

shouldn’t be here, I think. It’s too close for comfort. My heart is beating hard in my chest and my breath is shallow and quick. I walk up to the counter and order a latte, to stay. I pick a table and wait for my order to be ready. When it’s called out, I wrap my fingers around the warm mug and sit back down, wondering what I’m doing here. I shouldn’t be here. I’ve avoided this area ever since that day, when I found the truth about Clay O’Neill’s personality. I don’t want to run into him. Didn’t want to run into him. My heartbeat quickens at the thought of seeing him. I take another sip of hot, milky coffee to calm my nerves. I shouldn’t even be nervous! He doesn’t live here anymore, I’m sure of it. How can I be sure? I think to myself. I can’t. But I have to tell myself that he’s gone forever. Maybe if I glance up at the windows and see someone else in that gorgeous loft apartment then I’ll be able to move on knowing he’s gone. I sip my coffee slowly, savouring every mouthful of hot liquid. It’s creamy and sweet, and it runs down my throat warming me up from the inside. I close my eyes with every sip, letting my body relax and my mind go blank. I’ll finish my drink, and then walk across the road and look up at the windows, just once. Then I’ll walk away and I won’t come back.

I’ll move on. This is the last step. After this, I can move on. Maybe I can even try to get myself off. I still have my Girl’s Best Friend, and I know it’s not the toy that’s broken. I know I can do it, I just have to prove to myself that I can do it without him. Do I even want to do it without him? Before my mind starts spiralling down that path I stand up and push my chair back. I gather my things and take a deep breath, ready walk across the street and then walk away. Forever. My umbrella is still dripping wet but I shake it out just outside the door before opening it up. I step out into the rain and wait for the light to change, and then cross the street. Each step takes me closer and closer to his building, his home. The building where I felt as much at home as I have anywhere else in this city. Each step makes my heart beat faster, my breath more ragged. I can hear my own heartbeat raging in my ears like a torrent, drowning out the rain and the incessant honking of New York City traffic. I step up onto the curb on the other side of the street and look at the familiar brick wall, raking my eyes upwards slowly. Brick by brick, storey by storey, window by window, I bring my gaze up to the loft. It’s dark, there aren’t any lights on. I can’t see any furniture in the darkness nor can I see any movement. I sigh, letting all the nervous

energy out with my breath. It’s done. He’s gone. The realisation hits me like a moving train and the breath is knocked out of me. He’s gone. He’s gone. Hot, burning tears start welling up in my eyes. I’ve lost the one thing that made me feel whole. I cut him out, without realising what I was doing. I didn’t let him explain a word to me, I just took that woman’s story at face value. He’s gone. I’ve lost him. The weight of my mistake hits me. I cut him out without listening, without trusting him. I let my pride and my embarrassment get in the way of hearing what he had to say. The tears are rolling down my cheeks and finally, standing in the cold rain outside his apartment I understand the true depth of my loneliness. My feet are like blocks of concrete, I can’t move, I can’t think. I can only cry silent, unending tears. And then, a voice pulls me out of my stupor. Not A voice, THE voice. The voice I’ve been dreaming of, the voice I’ve been missing. His voice. His voice! He’s calling my name! “Val!” I spin around towards the sound and I see

him opening the lobby door, rushing towards me. In an instant he’s drenched by the rain but it doesn’t matter, nothing matters. He crashes into me and his arms are around me, pulling me into him. My umbrella drops to the ground as I lift my arm up towards his neck, wrapping myself around him. His lips collide with mine and the sweet warmth of his kiss envelops me like nothing before. It’s not just a kiss, it’s more. It’s our entire beings, our hearts, our souls colliding, meshing, coming together and dancing together with our tongues. The rain pours down and washes my face clean of my tears. He brings a hand up and tangles his fingers into my hair, pulling my head closer to him. Our clothes are drenched, soaked in the rain. The cold means nothing, it is nothing, compared to the heat of our bodies coming together. His hands travel down to my ass and he hoists me up to his waist. I wrap my legs around him and bring my hands to the side of his head. I don’t stop kissing him for a second. I can’t stop. I won’t stop. He’s here. He’s here. He’s mine, and I’m his.

Chapter 48 - Clay

My wet shirt is clinging to my body but I don’t care, because Val’s legs are wrapped around my waist and my lips are all over hers. Her body fits into mine like two puzzle pieces. Nothing matters except her kiss. She pulls her head back gently and looks into my eyes. The rain has matted her hair against her skull, with water running in rivulets down her face. She looks gorgeous. “You didn’t go to Seattle,” she says in amazement. “I did.” I say, not believing that she’s here in my arms. “I came back.” Her eyes widen and she tightens her legs around me. She feels light as a feather in my arms. I feel her shiver against me. “Let’s go in,” I say softly. “What, and ruin this Notebook moment?!” She says with mock horror on her face. The rain is pouring down on both of us and we’re both soaked through. I laugh and turn around to carry her through the door. I set her down gently outside the

elevator. When the door dings open I back her into it, kissing her in short, soft kisses until her back is pressed against the back wall. I turn to press the button and as soon as the doors close I’m back to her, showering her with kisses, pressing her body against the wall. I can feel the firmness of her tits against my chest and my cock, already hard from the moment I saw her, strains against my pants. The door of the elevator glides open and we stumble out, rushing towards my apartment door. I fumble with the keys, my hands numb from the cold rain outside. “You never sold your place?” She asks as I finally get the key in. “I couldn’t bring myself to do it.” I open the door and let her in. She spins around and steps towards me as I close the door behind me. I wrap my arms around her body, clothing soaked through from the rain. My hand drifts up to her cheek and I stroke it gently. “I was miserable the whole time I was in Seattle, Val. I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” “Me too,” she whispers. “I tried to get over you but I couldn’t.” I tilt her chin up and bring my face down to meet hers. Our lips meet again and it’s like the first time. Sparks fly between us as our lips dance together. This is more than a kiss, it’s an embrace,

it’s passion in its purest form. It’s Love. I pull my lips away again and stare into her deep blue eyes. They’re sparkling in a way I’ve never seen before. “Val, I never meant to hurt you. I can tell you everyth -“ she puts her hand up to my lips to quiet me. “No talking now,” she says. “We can talk after.” And then, wordlessly, I see the vision I’ve been dreaming of every night and every day for three months. She brings her hands to her shirt hem and pulls it overhead, and then quickly strips herself of her bra and pants. She’s standing in front of me in nothing but tiny pink underwear and I reach towards her. She claws at my clothing, tearing my shirt off overhead and then attacking my pants. Her hands are frantic, searching, relentless. My hands roam all over her skin, cold from the rain but warming under my touch. I leave no part of her body untouched. My hands explore her like I’ve never touched her before. Our lips find each other and we devour each other. She lets her hands drift all over me and every touch sends sparks directly down to my cock. I can’t wait till the bedroom, I pick her up and lay her down on the soft carpet below us. My body is over hers and she wraps her arms around me once

again. My legs straddle hers and she spreads them wider, tilting her hips up so that my cock is pressed against her. I grind myself against her and a deep moan escapes her lips. That noise sends a shiver down my spine and straight to my cock. I feel ready to explode already, but I won’t. Not until I give her the best orgasm of her life. My hands explore her body, traveling from her waist down to her hips. She shivers at my touch and then moans, letting her legs fall open. I hook my fingers into her panties and pull them slowly down her legs. She shivers as the air kisses her bare body. And then, I taste her. My mouth finds her most sensitive spot and I can’t help but groan when I taste the sweet, saltiness of her slit. I slide my tongue down and find her opening and she moans louder for me. Her sounds reverberate through her body and through mine until every movement sends a shock down to my cock. I can’t hear anything, can’t see anything, can’t taste anything except her. Her essence, her flavour, her body. I let my mouth travel up and down until her hips are bucking and her hands are woven into my hair. I breathe in deep, lapping up every drop of her as my tongue dances all over her slit. She is moaning and saying my name and all it does is spur

me on and make my cock harder and ready to explode. I reach my hand up and grab her breast, pinching her nipple between my thumb and forefinger. Her hand covers mine and her back arches as I pinch it again, her moans becoming a guttural groan with every movement of my tongue. I can sense how close she is. I can feel the vibrations in her body. I lift my head up for a second and our eyes meet, hers clouded over, not seeing anything except me. I drop my head again, this time covering her bud entirely with my mouth. I lick, kiss, lap, twirl, do everything I can to taste her as much as possible. Her hips buck into me and her hand presses my head further into her. Each taste makes my cock harder, and every time she moves it makes me want to shove it inside her. I won’t, not until I feel her orgasm exploding through her. I take my other hand and slip a finger inside her. I find the spot of rough skin on the inside of her walls and I rub it, gently at first and then harder. I feel her walls contract around my finger, gripping it tightly. I move my fingers and my tongue in tandem and then I feel it. Her back arches, her arms grip at the carpet and her pussy contracts around my fingers violently. Her wetness is dripping out of her and I devour it. Her legs shake and I don’t stop until she

pulls my head away and lays there, panting. Her skin is on fire and her eyes are dazed. The longer I look at her, collapsed back from the strength of her orgasm, the more I want to feel her, to feel myself inside her. Finally she opens her mouth and breathes out a few words. “Oh, Clay.”

Chapter 49 - Valerie

Clay lifts his head and looks at me. A smile is playing on his lips and in his eyes. My legs are jelly and I can’t feel my fingers. I can see my chest rising and falling as I breathe, still trying to regain control over my body. Shivers run through me as the aftershocks of my orgasm course through my veins. I can feel the wetness of my pleasure dripping out of me, even now. Clay crawls up my body and kisses me tenderly, letting me taste myself on his lips. I moan into our kiss and he wraps his arms around my body. Before I know it we’re standing, lips still interlocked and my legs wrapped around his chiseled body. He carries me straight to the bed and lays me down gently. I can feel the heat of his cock pressed against me and its hardness makes me yearn for it inside me. I feel like there’s an emptiness inside me and I’m desperate for him to fill it. I sink into the bed and feel the weight of his body on top of mine. Clay runs his fingers up my sides until

they’re threading through my hair and gripping the back of my head. Pulling my hair, he tilts my head back to expose my neck. I feel his hot breath on my neck as he lowers his head to kiss me. The sensation sends shivers down my spine and my already wet slit gets even wetter. I reach down towards his cock, finding it with my hand. It feels so thick and hot in my hand and I can’t help but imagine what it’ll feel like inside of me. Our bodies melt together, hands exploring each other like inexperienced teenagers. My hunger for him is gnawing at me. I want him, I want him now. The loneliness and emptiness of the past three months has long since disappeared. My skin is warm against him, the chill of the rain completely evaporated from us. I tangle my fingers into his hair and crush my lips against him while I buck my hips towards his cock. “Fuck me,” I whisper breathlessly. He looks at me, dark eyes burning with lust. No, not lust. Desire. Passion. Something more. His eyes rake down my body until he sees my hand wrapped around his cock. I can sense a thrill through me as his eyes travel down my body. He adjusts his hips and places himself at my opening. My heart is pounding, my head is spinning. I can sense him, so close. I tilt my hips towards his cock but he moves imperceptibly away,

tilting his head down to kiss my collarbone. My moans cut through the air. I want him. I inch my hips towards him and he inches away, just letting the tip of his cock kiss my opening. “Stop teasing me,” I tell him. The corners of his mouth lift up. “Don’t tell me what to do,” he says gruffly. The command sends a shiver through me, straight to my centre. I can feel the heat pooling between my legs when he speaks again. “I’m going to fuck you when I’m ready,” he continues. His voice is hard, harder than his cock. His eyes are ablaze. “You’re going to take every inch of my cock inside you and you’re going to love it.” “I will,” I respond, writhing against him, desperate for him to enter me. “Beg me. Beg me to fuck you.” My heartbeat is loud in my ears and my breath is quick. I’m lost in his eyes. My own eyes widen and the thought of begging him for his cock makes me drip with desire. “Clay, fuck me. Please,” I plead, my voice nothing but a hoarse whisper. “Ask me again,” he says, moving his cock up and down my slit, making me groan with pleasure. The teasing is almost too much. I feel like I’m on the edge, ready to go flying into another orgasm and he’s barely even touching me.

I can feel my nipples, hard as diamonds, pressed against his chest. I grind myself towards him and ask him again: “Fuck me, Clay. Fuck m-“ Before I can finish he plunges his cock into me, from the tip to the hilt. It sends my body into explosive shivers. I can feel him deep inside me, deeper than I’ve felt him before. My walls grip him, clamping onto his cock tightly and he groans. He drags himself out and then thrusts back into me with one smooth, hard stroke. Each thrust of his cock sends me closer and closer, feeling his cock throb and harden inside me. “I want you to come inside me,” I pant. “I want you to fill me with your cum.” Clay groans in response and thrusts into me harder. He pumps his cock into me, holding onto my shoulders for leverage until the electric sensation becomes too much. I go flying over the edge, my body outside of my control. I know my back is arching and my hands are gripping the sheets, but it’s almost like I'm watching it happen. The heat passes through my body like a tidal wave. My orgasm erupts inside me and sends tingles and shivers to every corner of my body. My vision goes black. Every nerve in my body is erupting at once and I’m sent flying through space, not knowing what is up or down. I’m screaming his name and then I feel it. I feel his cock throbbing

and getting even thicker. His orgasm sends a new wave of pleasure exploding from my centre outwards. He pumps his seed into me, grabbing my body and trembling on top of me with every thrust. His cock is buried deep inside me when we both let the stillness take over, the only sound in the room being the sound of our heavy, laboured breathing. I relish the feeling of having him inside me. Each heartbeat sends more pleasure through my body. I feel him relax on top of me and know that he is definitely everything I want, everything I need. With him, I’m home.

Chapter 50 - Clay

Val has this little smile on her face that makes my heart swell. Her golden hair is around her on the pillow like a halo. Her cheeks are flushed and her eyes are clear blue like turquoise tropical water. I don’t want to look away from her. I want to drink her in, keep her in my sights and never let her go. I pull her in closer to me, letting my hands roam down her back. She nuzzles into me and moans in contentment. “I missed you,” I tell her quietly. She pulls her head back and strokes my cheek. Her touch is soft and tender, and I close my eyes to savour the sensation. “I missed you too,” she replies. “It’s been the worst three months of my life.” We stare at each other, trying to find the words to speak our hearts to each other. She starts. “I’m sorry I cut you off, Clay. It was a mistake. When I thought I lost you, I..” her words trail off and I can see her eyes welling up with tears.

“Hey, hey,” I say gently, running my hands through her hair. “I’m here.” I pull back and look at her, staring intensely into her deep blue eyes. “I’m here, you hear me? I’m not going anywhere.” A tear rolls down her cheek and I brush it away gently. The sight of it makes my chest tighten. “Can you tell me what happened, Clay? I kept telling myself you were a bad person, a player but I don’t know… I just don’t believe myself.” Her voice is strained, like she has a lump in her throat. I can see the tears welling up again and I stroke her hair. “Tell me you’re not a bad person, Clay,” she whispers hoarsely. I take a deep breath. “I worked as a male entertainer when I was in med school,” I start. She frowns slightly and I feel the corner of my mouth tugging upwards. “A stripper.” “So it was true,” she says, eyes widening. I can feel her heartbeat next to me, getting faster as she processes what I’ve told her. “That part was. I met Caroline in my first year, at a bachelorette party.” “A bachelorette party… so.. she knew?” “She knew from the start. I tried to be clear with her, that I couldn’t stop doing it, not while I was in med school. The money was too good and the schedule worked with my crazy school hours.” The memories start tumbling back to me and

my voice catches in my throat. I take a deep breath and continue. “I never cheated on her.” My voice is hard, strained. The emotion is making it hard to speak but I want to tell her. I have to tell her, she has to believe me. Val’s eyes are wide as she waits for me to keep talking. “Not once. I never touched another woman, never even considered it, but you can imagine the type of job it is. I couldn’t stop working though. It’s always been my dream to be a doctor and I wasn’t going to let something like money get in the way. She just… couldn’t handle it. She couldn’t handle me being surrounded by all those women all the time.” I take a deep breath and look at Val. She’s listening to every word, eyes wide, gaze intent on me. I can’t tell what she’s thinking but I have to continue. “I don’t blame her. Not for that. I know that I wouldn’t be able to handle it if my partner was working a job like that. But then..” I sigh. “I wish I’d broken it off with her. I knew she couldn’t handle it, but I was too weak. I didn’t want to be alone.” I’m quiet for a while and Val brings her hand up to my cheek. “What happened?” She asks quietly. I look at her. She’s not judging me, she’s just quietly listening, waiting for me to tell her my

story. To speak the words I haven’t told anyone. “She told me she’d rat me out, tell the guidance counsellor at school that I was working as a male stripper and make sure I never got an internship unless I stopped dancing. Either way she was backing me into a corner, forcing me to give up being a doctor.” “Oh Clay,” Val breathes. “That’s awful.” “Then she cheated on me. I found her in bed with my best friend.” Hot tears roll down my cheeks and for the first time in almost five years, the betrayal I felt comes to the surface. Val holds me and lets me cry, cooing soft words into my ear. Her voice pierces through the sadness and the betrayal and lifts me up. I feel lighter until my throat opens up and I can speak again. “I have photos, Val. I can show you the bachelorette party where Caroline and I met. I swear on everything that is holy that she knew what I was.” “Clay, I believe you. I believe you.” “When I saw Emma at the restaurant, I… Val. You have to believe me. I know how it feels to find your partner with your best friend and I never meant to hurt you. I would never do that to you.” “Clay, stop. Emma is my best friend, and she told me to make up with you that day. I was

mad and jealous, I hate the thought of you with anyone else. But I know it was before us and I believe you when you say you wouldn’t do that to me.” We both lay there in silence, letting the words we’ve been speaking sink in. Val opens her mouth and starts speaking softly. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you, didn’t let you speak to me and explain everything.” I shake my head. “I should have tried harder,” I say. “After Caroline, I vowed to never let someone else in, to never compromise my plans for the sake of a relationship. So when you ignored my calls I just gave in. I gave up.” Val’s eyes are watering again. “Why did you come back then?” I breathe deeply. Val’s skin is so soft next to mine, her heat is like a healing balm on my heart. “I came back because you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I was working my dream job in Seattle but I dreamt of you every night. Val, I love you.” My voice catches in my throat and I force myself to continue. “I need you. I’ve never been happier than when I’m with you.” Val puts her delicate fingers over my lips to silence me. Her voice is barely louder than a breath, and her eyes are sparkling like diamonds in the sunlight.

“I love you too, Clay O’Neill,” she whispers, and then brings her lips to mine. My heart soars and I grip her tight against me. I’m never letting her go again.

Epilogue - Valerie

Eight months later… I’m pacing up and down the apartment, impatient for Clay to get home from work. He disappeared this morning, saying he had to go into the clinic. He didn’t listen to my protests about it being Sunday, just took off. Then he called me this morning saying he has a surprise for me, and to dress for dinner. Another one of his surprises. We’ve been living in New York, in his apartment in Soho. He decided not to go back to Seattle, saying it was too rainy. I’m not sure that’s true, I think maybe he just missed the buzz of NYC. They’ve been the happiest months of my life. I don’t know why - I’m jittery and excited, I can’t wait for him to get here. I keep checking the clock and then my watch and then my phone for the time, and they keep crawling by at a snail’s pace. I’m dressed in a silky long black dress that hugs my figure. My hair is down, and I’m wearing the simple diamond pendant Clay got me for my

birthday a couple months ago. Finally I hear the elevator door ding, and I rush to the front door and swing it open wide before he can get to it. He’s wearing a suit and carrying a bouquet of flowers. Tiger lilies, my favourite. His shock at the door flying open turns to a tender smile. He scoops his arm around my waist and brings his lips to mine. He smells of musk and spice and his lips taste sweet. I melt into him and breathe in his scent. I could kiss him all night. Ignoring my insistent kisses, he pulls away and presents me with the bouquet of flowers. “These are for you,” he says with a smile. “They’re beautiful, Clay! What’s the occasion?” “It’s a surprise,” he says with a wink. “Now put those things in water and let’s go.” We head down onto the busy street. Clay has his arm around my waist, holding me tight to him. I love how our bodies just seem to fit together perfectly, like all his crooks fit into my crannies. Clay sets the pace to an easy stroll, even when I try to speed us up. He lets out a deep, baritone laugh. “Are you impatient or something? You keep trying to drag me along.” “I’m just wanting to get to where we’re going! You know how I hate surprises.”

“You love surprises. Don’t even pretend like you don’t.” He gives me a sidelong glance and my cheeks blush. I roll my eyes in an exaggerated motion but I know he’s right. I love his surprises. Almost as much as I love him. I resign myself to his slow stroll. His arm around me fills me with warmth, knowing that I’m walking next to the man I love. Next to the man who loves me. “Do you know what today is?” He asks me as we walk. “Umm.. Sunday?” “Very astute,” he says sarcastically. “No, it’s one year since you walked into my office. One year since you walked into my life.” My heart flutters. He’s right. “You remembered,” I breathe. “Remembered? It was the best day of my life.” We walk for ten minutes and then Clay pulls me down a street. Halfway down the block he slows to a stop. “We’re here!” He says with a smile. I look up at the building and my jaw drops. Gallant’s. It’s New York City’s most popular new restaurant. It’s booked up for months, you basically need to be an A-list celebrity to get a table.

“Clay! How…?” “The owner was one of my patients. Owed me a favour. Doesn’t matter because tonight we have the best seat in the house.” He’s not wrong. The Maitre D sits us down at a table on a dais, away from most other people. There’s a small privacy screen halfway around the dais so it feels like we have our own little area of the restaurant. It’s nothing if not grand. The lights are low with candles on every table. I glance around the room at the couples, businessmen, socialites, and wonder how we got to sit where we are. “Good evening, Dr. O’Neill. So glad you could join us tonight,” a booming voice says. “Ah! And this must be Miss Brooks.” I turn to see a portly man with ruddy cheeks and long grey whiskers. “Mr. Rickshaw! Thank you for having us.” Clay stands up and shakes his hand. Mr Rickshaw reaches over to me and takes my hand in his, bowing slightly over it and brushing it lightly with his lips. I blush and nod my head, not really knowing what to do in response. “It’s my pleasure. I won’t take any more of your time. I trust you will enjoy our nine course degustation. The wine is paired specifically for each dish. Enjoy your evening.” And with a wink, he’s away.

What follows is one of the most delicious meals I’ve ever experienced. Each dish is more delicious than the last, and the waiters keep our wine glasses full. Clay’s eyes are sparkling in the candlelight, but I can’t help but wonder if there’s an extra sparkle to them tonight. The ninth course is dessert. A decadent dome of chocolate is placed in front of me and Clay raises his glass. “To us,” he says simply. I smile, starry-eyed. He’s the most handsome man I’ve ever seen, and there’s no one I’d rather be here with. There’s no one I’d rather be anywhere with. “I love you,” I reply. “Should we tuck in?” Clay asks with a grin. “I know you’re dying to eat that.” I giggle and pick up my fork. I try to slice through the dome of chocolate with my fork but instead just break the shell. I try again, clearing parts of the shell away to reveal a small box. I look up at Clay, brows furrowed in confusion. He’s beaming at me, and his eyes are definitely sparkling. I pick up the box off the plate and open it up. Inside is a beautiful, gleaming diamond ring that’s sparkling just as much as Clay’s eyes. Without me realising what he’s doing, he appears next to me on a bended knee and gently

takes the box from me. “Valerie Brooks. You’ve made me a happy man. I never want to be apart from you. Marry me.” Just like the movies, my hands fly up to my mouth. My vision is blurry from the tears that appear from nowhere in my eyes. I’m speechless, all I can do is nod my head and hope I’m not uglycrying. He slips the ring over my finger and wraps me in his arms, twirling me in a circle on the dais. I hear applause and realise the entire restaurant has witnessed his proposal. We stand and smile, me more bashfully than Clay. He’s beaming, and look up at him and know that I’m the luckiest person in the world. A waiter appears with a bottle of champagne for us. “Compliments of the house,” he says. We drink a toast together and I turn away from Clay, knowing if I keep staring at him I’ll start crying again. My eyes sweep across the room as I try to compose myself. In the back corner, I notice a face that looks familiar. Her eyes are shooting flaming arrows at me, and her perfectly straight, long black hair is once again pushed behind her with long, red-nailed fingers. The hatred emanating from that woman takes me aback, until she stands up and walks out of the restaurant. I glance back at Clay, who hasn’t seen

anything. He’s too busy staring at me. The love in his eyes brings me back to him, and I realise that her anger, her jealousy, are a speck of dust in comparison to our love for each other. She’s gone, and all that matters is me and Clay, together. Forever. “I love you, Clay.” “You’ve just made me the happiest man in the world, Val. I love you too.” He leans over and kisses me like I’ve never been kissed before. It’s tender and soft, it’s a hint of desire wrapped up in pure, true love.

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