Defying Gravity - K.K. Allen

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Defying Gravity Copyright © 2019 by K.K. Allen All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is coincidental. The author acknowledges the trademarked and copyrighted status and owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these works is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners. Cover Design: Sarah Hansen © Okay Creations Cover Photographer: Perrywinkle Photography Editor: Red Adept Editing eBook design by Inkstain Design Studio For more information, please write to [email protected]

To my #bossbabes Sammie and Cyndi. This journey would not be the same without your friendship and support. I love you more than nachos.

DEAR READER,

In an effort to give you an interactive experience, YouTube links have been included throughout this book with no copyright infringement intended. All links point to their rightful owners, and all owners have been contacted regarding the use of video in this publication. Viewing the videos is not required to read, however, my intention is to bring you the inspiration that went into creating this story while you follow along.

Enjoy! K.K.

CONTENTS Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24

Chapter 25 Chapter 26 Chapter 27 Chapter 28 Chapter 29 Chapter 30 Chapter 31 Chapter 32 Chapter 33 Chapter 34 Chapter 35 Chapter 36 Chapter 37 Chapter 38 Chapter 39 Chapter 40 Chapter 41 Chapter 42 Chapter 43 Chapter 44 Chapter 45 Chapter 46 Chapter 47 Chapter 48 Chapter 49 Chapter 50 Chapter 51 Chapter 52 Chapter 53

Chapter 54 Chapter 55 Epilogue Acknowledgments For My Readers Books By K.K. Allen About The Author Waterfall Effect - Prologue

Video Playlist Thinkin’ Bout You Sorry, Not Sorry Cold Hearted 7 Rings Taki Taki Bad Guy Piece of Your Heart Broken and Beautiful Strip Boys Señorita Get the full playlist on YouTube HERE!

PROLOGUE Amelia Somewhere between my childhood home and the long stretch of Malibu Beach that I had once called my backyard, a familiar figure came into view. His long lashes flickered down as he blew out a breath. His wide eyes narrowed in the direction of the bare feet he’d shoved deep into the sand. Early age lines wrinkled his tan forehead, and a scowl rested on his face. My heart jolted in my chest as unease churned in my gut. Three years later and the sight of Tobias James could still knock me off my axis. He was a few feet away when he looked up and spotted me. The moment was lightning, illuminating his surprise. His lids widened, revealing a circular sea, endless in its depth,

and for a vulnerable instant, I thought I might have left my anchor there. Once upon a time, I looked into those same eyes and saw my past, my present, and my future. I was certain every sacred dream would come to fruition when the time was right—but we were young … and life had other plans for us.

CHAPTER 1 Amelia A rattling sound shook me awake and jolted my gaze toward my bedroom window. It was black outside, save for a few twinkling stars and the moon’s glow. I shook my head, hoping to clear the fog from a deep sleep. It was a miracle I’d been able to doze off with the blare of the music and boisterous voices coming from upstairs. My parents were party animals. It wasn’t unusual for them to throw some random shindig in the middle of the week to celebrate any small accomplishment that came through their firm. Clients—mostly actors, producers, and casting agents—were their everything, their bread and butter. No one cared that the teenager downstairs had school in the morning. My eyes adjusted to the clock on my

nightstand—3:25 a.m. I blinked again, noticing that the loud bass from the stereo system’s surround sound was nonexistent now. The party was apparently over, but the rattling sounded again, followed by a tap-tap-tapping against glass. I jerked my head toward the French doors that led to the back patio. My eyes landed on the figure begging for entry at my door. Tall, hooded, wide crystal blues pointed straight at me. Flutters ignited under my ribs. Snatching my silk sheet from my bed, I pulled it to my chest on instinct, awakening completely and sitting up moments after recognizing him. Tobias. I jumped up and ran toward him, a smile blossoming on my face. I couldn’t help it. It had been five days since our secret spring break trip to Big Sur, where we camped out in his pickup truck, just the two of us. And every day since we’d been back, he would sneak into my room, and we would pick up where

we’d left off up on that mountain, thinking no one would ever be the wiser. After turning the lock and then the knob, I tugged on the handle, and he stepped into my room, filling the space as he always did, with confidence and intention. “You’re late,” I accused as he pulled me into his hulky arms. He was so tall, my head rested on the lower half of his chest as his build practically swallowed me. I sighed into him, breathing in his freshly showered scent of cedar wood and coconut. “I was waiting for things to die down,” he said. “I sent you a text telling you I didn’t want to risk being seen.” I looked toward my bed, where my phone lay, and it dawned on me. Crap. I never put it on the charger. “It must have died after I fell asleep.” I gave him my exaggerated pout. “It’s too late to watch a movie now.” He chuckled and leaned down, his lips skimming my nose. “We never watch much of the movie, anyway.”

He was right. I could never concentrate on a movie when I was busy guessing the journey his mouth and hands would take as we lay together. Narrowing my eyes, I pulled him toward my bed. “But pretending is so much fun.” His mouth curled with obvious amusement. “You sure about that?” Refusing to answer, I lay down, letting my brown hair fan around me as Tobias followed. He faced me, lowering himself until he was hovering dangerously close. In the past week, I’d gotten used to this routine. To us. But Tobias was never supposed to crawl under my skin. We were only supposed to be a spring fling. I stroked his cheek, memorizing every strong line of his face and loving the smooth texture of his skin as he kissed my palm. His lids closed at my touch. Turning my head, I let my eyes flicker to the moon outside the double doors. I pulled in a deep breath. The exhale was cleansing, and for

a moment, I forgot that the countdown to our end was ticking in the distance. When I was with him, I didn’t want to think about him leaving for basketball and me leaving for dance. I wanted to spend every minute making up for lost time. Tobias and I had known each other since we were kids; he was my neighbor as well as my best friend’s older brother. But I never really knew him, not the way I wanted to know him now. “What would you have studied if you didn’t have basketball?” He appeared to ponder that for a moment before propping up on his elbow. When he spoke, he ran his finger along the edge of my waistband. “That’s easy. Sports management. I don’t know if I ever saw a life for myself without basketball in it. But even thinking about my future—once I retire from the NBA —I’d love to teach or coach.” His eyes flickered to mine. “What about you? What would you want to study if you didn’t have your sights set on being an NBA dancer?”

I ignored the wings in my chest that fluttered at the mention of my dream. Dancing in the NBA had been all I’d wanted since I was a little girl. “Something in physics, I think.” He pulled back, an amused gleam in his eyes. “Really?” Shrugging, I pointed at my window, where the moon hung perfectly centered in the frame. “I’ve always been fascinated with nature and the mechanics behind it all. My parents got sick of me always asking ‘how’ and handed me a set of encyclopedias.” I laughed, knowing how that sounded. “Yeah, encyclopedias. For extremely liberal parents whose careers relied on communication media, they had a thing against overstimulation before the age of thirteen. Whenever I had a question, I’d pull those suckers out and go down the rabbit hole of theories.” “Theories, huh?” He bent his head, bringing his nose to my neck, running it along my

sensitive skin before placing a gentle kiss there. “What’s your favorite one?” I smiled. “The misconception of the moon’s strength. The moon may be small, but it’s powerful enough to move oceans.” He shifted so he was looking into my eyes. “Really?” Nodding, I ran my fingers up his arm, hating that nagging reminder in the back of my mind that one of these nights would be our last. “How do you think the ocean tides are formed?” He pitched a brow. “From the moon?” “Close. From earth’s gravitational attraction of the moon.” I smiled. “I think it’s kind of magical how powerful the moon’s pull is. How a black piece of rock in the sky can move oceans, light up the midnight sky, and stabilize the rotation of the largest terrestrial planet in our solar system.” A strand of hair fell into his eye during my geek out. I was moving it away when his lip tipped at the corner. “Did you just use the

term ‘terrestrial planet’?” I pushed against him with a laugh. “Yes, kinda like you use the words ‘drive penetration,’ ‘pin downs,’ and ‘shooting fundamentals.’” I cringed at my choice of terms as Tobias threw his head back and laughed. Growling, I pushed him onto his back and moved to sit up. He caught himself on his elbows, shot his arms out for me, and pulled me onto his lap. His chin tipped up. Mine tipped down. And our lust-infused smiles met. “How does it feel to be the short one?” I teased. His hands were skimming the tops of my thighs. “Feels damn good.” He continued his ascent until his palms were cupping my ass through my yoga pants. “Glad you asked.” Laughing, I leaned down, teasing his lips with mine. “You know what else feels good?” His blue eyes darkened. “Oh, I have an idea.”

Gentle fingers plucked at the hint of pink fabric peeking out from my pants. Pinching back a smile, I wiggled above him. His nose flared as he growled and pulled me closer. With my knees wrapped around him and my chest pressed to his, he buried his next words in my neck. “You tease me like you don’t think I’ll rip these clothes right off you.” My entire body heated as I tripped on my next breath. “You threaten me like that would be a bad thing.” The corner of his mouth curled with what I hoped was wicked intention. “You’re sassy when I interrupt your sleep. I think I like it a little too much.” “I think you like me a little too much.” He shrugged, his eyes slipping from mine and moving down my neck. “You might be right. Doesn’t change anything, though, does it? We decided to keep things between us a secret.” Detecting something new in his tone, I

pulled back to look at him. “We did. And it was the right thing to do.” His brows crinkled, and I couldn’t help wondering if he was having second thoughts. But why? We’d talked about “what came next” a dozen times after coming home. It was a mutual decision to keep things between us on the downlow. Eventually, he nodded. “Yeah, Trin would be pissed.” That was an understatement, and we both knew it. Trinity, Tobias’s younger sister and my best friend, had always been protective of her older brother. Sick of all the girls who had befriended her just to get to Tobias, she had threatened me years ago, telling me I was dead to her if I so much as flirted with her brother. I’d spent years honoring her wishes until not a single wish on earth could have saved me from falling for the boy next door. At times, I thought she couldn’t possibly feel the same way that she had when we were thirteen. We were old enough to freely choose

who we wanted to get involved with. But I saw the way Trinity guarded Tobias like he was a forbidden Egyptian tomb. And how she talked about him like he was a troubled Lost Boy whom only she could ever understand. This past year, especially, had been the worst. It wasn’t until Tobias filled me in on the big family secret, during our spontaneous spring break trip, that I began to understand the change in my best friend. Tobias had been adopted as a baby, and their parents hid it from everyone, including their children. When he’d stumbled upon his adoption papers last year, it changed the path of everything Tobias had been working for since he was a kid. His dreams of getting drafted shattered in the blink of an eye. He couldn’t focus on school, basketball, or anything besides the lie he told himself—that he no longer belonged. He referred to it as his spiral. “It’s more than Trinity’s ego I’m worried about,” I said with a sad smile. “We can’t get

all wrapped up in feelings. It would be so easy to—” I forced out a sigh. His eyes pleaded with mine. “What were you going to say?” “Nothing.” I shook my head, knowing I had to tread carefully. Any talk of feelings would be dangerous territory. “You’re entering the draft. You’ll end up moving to who knows where, and—” “Back up, Amelia. Hopefully, I’m draft eligible, which doesn’t guarantee me a job. I sent in my letter a few days ago, and I won’t be getting any kind of response for at least another week. With my history, dropping out of college ball before the championship, they probably won’t even consider me for the combine, which makes my chances shoddy at best.” “Combine?” “It’s like a showcase where teams measure the skills of top-level prospects. Only a select bunch make it through.” My jaw dropped. “You have that agent

now. Aaron Wells. He knows the scouts. He helped you explain why you had to drop when you did. And you still have your stats from when you did play. You’ll get in. You’re meant to play ball. Aaron came to you for a reason. So, when you do get invited to the combine, who knows where you’ll end up after the draft. And I’ll be in LA.” His brows pulled together. “It sounds like you’ve been giving this some thought.” “Haven’t you?” He didn’t even hesitate to nod. “Yeah, actually. I have. I meant what I said in Big Sur. I want to take you out on a real date. Dinner. Movies. The beach. We don’t have long before one of us leaves, and honestly—” He swallowed. “The more time we spend together, the more I want to tell Trin.” Panic clutched my chest, breaking my heart in the process. “We can’t.” “Why not? I could get picked up by the Lions. Then I’d be in LA, too.” I sighed heavily. “And if you don’t? What if

we tell Trinity about us and she hates us for it? It will ruin whatever time we have left. Is hurting Trin really worth it if you do leave?” Maybe it was selfish of me, but I didn’t want Tobias to have to choose between his sister and me. I worried it would come down to that. His eyes moved between mine as his jaw tightened. “I see you’ve got this all figured out already. Thanks for consulting me.” I cupped his face in my hands. “Stop. I don’t want us to do anything we might regret later. Being together feels right, but once you’re gone—” “I only play ball five months out of the year.” “Yeah, and then there’s preseason and offseason practice, training, promo. You think you’ll have time for me? You think you’ll even remember me?” “Amelia—” I shook my head, cutting him off and swallowing my emotion. I refused to let either

of us dwell on the what-ifs. “Let’s just wait another week. The draft is in June, right? You’ll know where you’re going at that point.” He stared at me for what felt like forever, his eyes swimming with so many words I wanted to probe out of him, but I knew there would be no turning back after hearing them. Things were so new between us, I didn’t want either of us regretting a single decision. Giving us time to make those decisions felt right. I gave him a small smile in an attempt to lighten the mood. “Just think. We could both be joining the NBA in a couple of months.” Tobias didn’t smile, which made my insides stir, but he started to nod slowly. That slight acknowledgment was enough to give me my next breath. Then his eyes dimmed as he tilted his face up, pointing his mouth toward mine. I leaned in, brushing my lips against his, desperately wanting him to respond with the eagerness he had walked in with. A happily ever after wasn’t in the cards for us anytime soon, but for now, he was mine,

and I was his. And every stolen moment was one I would attempt to stretch for as long as possible.

CHAPTER 2 Tobias Two Weeks Later Classical music droned in my ears as I walked the steps of the brick building in LA where Amelia danced. I’d been on hold for almost an hour according to my phone’s clock. From my experience dealing with the California Department of Social Services, this was the norm—hours on hold, shitty customer service, and a lack of any information whatsoever by the time it was all over. I’d been making these calls for months. It was a waiting game, and a simple phone call begging for answers wouldn’t get me any closer to locating my birth parents. There was a process when it came to exploring closed adoption cases. On my end, I’d done everything I possibly could for the past year. Searched the online databases, requested

consent through the agency my adoption came through, and of course the obvious—asked my parents. That last effort had gotten me only so far. In a desperate deal to keep me quiet and to protect our “family secret,” my parents handed over all the information they had on my birth parents in exchange for my silence. It was a no-brainer bargain for me. It wasn’t like I had plans to announce my newly discovered status to the world. But their information was limited to one name, which didn’t bring me any closer to finding out who I was or where I came from. My birth mother, Selena Vasquez, wasn’t an easy woman to track down. I’d torn apart the internet in my search—background checks, ancestry reports, social media—and I’d come up empty. At some point last year, I’d decided to let the state do its job and find her for me. Unfortunately, the complications seemed endless. “Thank you for calling the CDSS. How can I

help you?” My thoughts whirled, and I wondered how I would approach it this time. I never knew what would fly out of my mouth, but I had to try. I slipped into the building’s foyer and tucked myself into a quiet corner near the reception desk. I had only a few minutes before Amelia’s dance class let out. “Hey-hi. My name is Tobias James, and I’m trying to locate my birth parents. I have the name of my birth mother, but that’s all.” I swallowed and looked around, but no one was paying attention to me. Most people were in classes, and the receptionist was on the phone. The few people who littered the halls had earbuds in or were chatting quietly with their peers. The woman on the phone collected my information, confirming it was me, then pulled up my file. “Ah, Mr. James. I see you’ve called before.” There was another pause as I heard the clicking of a keyboard. “It looks like, as of last month, another request of consent has

been sent out to the address we have on file.” Another request. As in, the last three attempts hadn’t been answered. “Okay.” My heart pounded. “Now what?” “Now, we wait. Since this was a closed adoption, a biological parent will need to consent to the release of their information. If they do, then you’ll get a letter in the mail outlining the details of your adoption, including how you can reach out to the biological parent that consented.” “That’s it? I just have to sit around and wait? I’ve already been waiting a year.” My chest heated with annoyance and disappointment. “Well,” the woman began, “you have other options, but consent is required to work with the CDSS. There’s always the option of going to court to have a judge unseal your file. However, your reasons for wanting that to be done would need to be based on more than pure desire. You can look at DNA ancestry services, but I don’t believe they were very

popular twenty-one years ago, or—” “You’re telling me you’re looking at my file and you can’t tell me where I can find my biological parents?” When I looked up, I’d caught the eye of the dance center receptionist, who smiled politely at me. I gave her an apologetic nod and scurried past her desk, where I knew I could find Amelia. Class should be over any minute, and I’d hoped to catch her in action. The woman sighed on the other end of the line. She must have dealt with people like me often. “I can’t see details. Only the status. And even if I did have all the information in front of me, I wouldn’t be legally permitted to release that information to you over the phone. Except—” The woman paused, causing my heart to kick in my chest. “I found something. It says here that some information has been sent to you.” “What has been sent to me? When will I get it?” “I can’t say.”

“Of course,” I huffed and stopped in my tracks. My gaze flickered up and caught sight of the only woman in the world capable of calming me. Amelia stood on the other side of the observation glass. It was just like the first time I’d seen her dance. We hadn’t known each other well. Admittedly, I’d thought more about the way her body looked in motion than I probably should have, given that she was my younger sister’s best friend. But there was something incredibly endearing about the way she moved with intense focus, perfectly in sync with the others. She was impossible to ignore when her passion and drive surfaced. It was why I couldn’t stay away even when I knew I should. We’d managed to endure the last two weeks in secrecy, just as we’d promised. Though, I could feel our resolve slipping. We’d started getting sloppy, mostly thanks to my persuasiveness. But life inside Amelia’s bedroom walls was limited to brief hours

together. I wanted them all. Today, I’d convinced her to pack her surfboard when no one was looking and meet me at a park a few miles down the road from our homes. Once there, she hopped in my truck, I loaded her board with mine, and we took off for Los Angeles to Gravity Dance Complex. After she was done with her dance classes, the rest of the day would be ours. There was something bittersweet about being at Gravity. It was practically Amelia’s second home in LA, and as soon as she graduated from high school, she would be moving nearby. I tried not to think about where I would be by then. So much was still up in the air with basketball, and the chances of me landing my dream gig, as shooting guard for the Lions, were slim at best. It was safer for Amelia and me to focus on the here and now. I moved to the wall beside a set of mini bleachers, leaned back, and folded my arms across my chest. Amelia jogged to the center

of the studio floor, looking hot as hell, as beams of light from above reflected off the layer of sweat that had formed on her exposed skin. It looked like she was about to dance solo in front of the entire class. She was wearing something different than when I’d dropped her off over three hours ago —slightly baggy long gray pants that were secured by a drawstring on her lower waist. On top, she’d knotted a white tank over her black sports bra, exposing her natural tan complexion and sexy abs. I stifled a laugh. Knowing her, she’d probably brought an outfit for each class today. I was completely fixated, and for a second, I forgot I was holding the phone. A breath on the line turned my focus. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be more help. Is there anything else, sir?” A song started playing over the speakers. I cleared my throat. “No. Thanks for your time.” Without waiting for the lady to thank me back, I hung up to watch Amelia just as she

started to dance.

CHAPTER 3 Amelia The hustle was real at Gravity Dance Complex. I’d been attending classes since I was a little girl, but what the center stood for was always there—diversity, talent, innovation. Those qualities were why it had always been the epicenter of the dance world, the reason that the best of the best flocked to Gravity. We came for the challenge, the inspiration, and even the social media attention. There wasn’t a single dancer in this massive studio who didn’t want the spotlight in some way. Performing was in our souls and ran deep in our veins. In our blood. Dance could give us the highest of highs, but it also had the power to crush us, leaving only the toughest to survive.

We’d trained in all styles of dance and endured long hours without complaint. Along with the bruises and tears in our skin from pushing our bodies to the max, day in and day out, we grew stronger, hungrier, fiercer. And as we witnessed the audition process change some of our peers for the worst, we swore that wouldn’t be us. We would never become the victim of our dreams. It was a delicate balance, and it took more than strength and talent to persevere. It took brains and patience and heart. It also took drive, which is why I spent most of my free hours training with the best. I was in the middle of executing the choreography in front of the class, giving every ounce of energy that remained after a grueling session, when I spotted Tobias standing on the other side of the glass. The sight of him hit me with another burst of adrenaline, and I executed the freestyle portion of the routine like I was dancing for my life. In a way, I was.

Every moment with Tobias was one I wanted to remember. I didn’t know when our end was coming, I just knew that it was. Class let out, and I immediately beelined it for him before wrapping my arms around his waist. “I thought you were meeting me outside.” He kissed my nose and tilted his head, all while maintaining a wicked gleam in his eyes. “And miss seeing that? No way.” I smiled at his perfect answer and pushed onto my tiptoes to reach his lips. He was absurdly tall in proportion to my five-foot-two stature, and I loved every inch of difference. The way he peered at me with that twinkle in his eyes, like I was the only woman he saw. The way his arms practically swallowed me every time he came in for a hug. And the way he would lift me, when we were deep in liplock, just so I could wrap my legs around his waist and stay awhile. When we broke apart, he walked with me to the restroom. I changed into my bathing suit,

throwing shorts and a T-shirt over it, and then met him outside the door with an eager smile. His smile matched mine as he slipped the strap of my dance bag from my shoulder and slung it over his own. “Ready to get out of here?” I nodded, the rasp in his tone awaking the flutters in my chest. It still felt surreal to be walking around like this. Like we were a real couple. Like our time together didn’t have a ticking clock attached to it. Sometimes I forgot that it did. My heart felt like it was in my throat as we stepped out into the late-afternoon sun. “Did you figure out where we’re going?” We had plans to go surfing, that much I knew, but he hadn’t told me where we would go. Surfrider, County Line, and Zuma Beach would all be too risky. Everyone would be out at the public beaches, and it wasn’t like we could use the private one in front of our homes. He bit the bottom of his lip, teasing me with

one look. “Ever been to Big Sur?” I laughed at his throwback to our spring break trip to the mountains. “Very funny.” He opened the passenger door to his white 1966 Chevrolet, and I eyed him with warning, realizing he never did answer my question. He leaned in. “One day we’ll go back there.” His lips caressed mine as I shivered at his promise. And as he pulled away, he left me with more than the trace of his kiss. He left me with hope. And hope was a dangerous feeling to hold on to.

We pulled off the Pacific Coast Highway and drove into the small parking lot of a private entrance near Topanga Beach. It was a smaller surfing spot than our peers would normally venture to, with a slim chance of being seen by anyone we knew. Still, I couldn’t help the anxiety that flitted around my insides as I hopped out of the truck.

Tobias grabbed our boards, and I stripped down to my light-blue two-piece, leaving my white board shorts on. He’d already pulled his shirt off and stood there in his black-andwhite-striped suit, grinning at me. “Why do you always wear those things?” I looked at my short-shorts and shrugged. Heat rose in my neck and up my cheeks as I ran a hand down my sides. Would it be awful to admit that while I love my stomach and all my curves, I hate my thighs? He eyed me for a second then leaned our boards against the side of his truck. After stepping forward, he placed his hands on my waist and pulled me close, so my chest was flush under his. “You don’t have to hide your body from me, Amelia.” He tipped my chin, his gaze burning into mine. “I’ve seen you naked.” My face caught fire at his words. Then the hand at my waist slid over my navel and down to where my shorts were tied. They unknotted with one pull. “And I love every sexy inch.”

My eyes held his as I swallowed and took a step back. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d gone swimming without the comfort of cloth wrapping my thighs, but I knew I had nothing to worry about with Tobias. He’d only ever appreciated my body—with his hands, with his mouth, with his words. Like ripping off a bandage, I pushed down my shorts and tossed them in the bed of the truck. “That’s my girl.” He held my board out to me with a grin. When I grabbed it, he dipped his head low, touching his lips to mine. Despite the warmth of the sun, chills broke out over my skin. He pulled back, winking and taking my hand in his. “Let’s go catch some waves.” By the time we reached the shoreline, my nerves had dissolved completely. I was thankful that he’d taken me to a spot private enough that we were the only two in the area. We swam out to the break, lifted ourselves onto our boards, and sat side by side in

opposite directions, in no hurry to rush for a swell. The sun had started to dip in the horizon, painting the sky with a yellow to orange to blue gradient. And while there was a flurry of action around us, I focused on Tobias’s silence that spoke volumes. “You were quiet on the way here.” My voice was so soft against the beating waves, I worried he didn’t hear me. But after a moment, he nodded, then his eyes flickered to me. “I called social services.” My chest squeezed at the frustration in his tone. I hated that he was getting doors slammed from everyone he approached for help. No wonder he felt like his life had been a lie. Without knowing where he came from, he would always feel there was a piece of himself missing. To Tobias, that piece was massive. “Did they tell you anything new?” He shook his head. “Of course not. Except that another letter went out requesting consent from my biological parents. I just want

to find them, you know. I have so many questions, and my parents refuse to tell me anything more than what they already have.” “They refuse? Seriously?” He shrugged. “They say they don’t know anything more. That it was a closed, private adoption through an agency in LA and there’s nothing they can do.” Frustration brewed inside me as I thought about his parents. I’d lived next door to them most of my life, but I hadn’t realized how selfish they were until Tobias told me about their reaction to him finding the adoption papers. That they cared more about carrying on with the lie than they did about the son they swore they were only trying to protect. Tobias was certain the lie was more to protect their appearance of being the perfect family, and that killed me inside. “I’m sorry.” “It is what it is.” He reached a hand out to play with a strand of wet hair that had fallen over my shoulders. “I don’t want to think about any of that when I’m with you, though.”

I tilted

my head

and

smiled

softly.

Something about having the attention of Malibu’s once-golden boy all to myself lit my insides. I’d always been so focused on dance that I rarely dated in high school. And when I did, no one could hold my attention the same way that Tobias did. I loved being with him. I loved the way he made me feel. I hated that it wouldn’t last. “C’mere,” he said with a tilt of his lips. We leaned into each other, but the reach was too far, causing our boards to sway. I giggled as he growled and slapped the water. “Fuck it.” Before I knew it, Tobias was slipping off his board and onto mine. He shook his head, sending water droplets all around us. Then he leaned forward again, this time with a glint of mischief in his gorgeous blue eyes. “Much better.” He kissed me with saltwater lips, drinking me in like a starved man lost at sea. I wanted to be his life raft, to save him from his

suffering and bring him safely ashore. But the tide was coming. The winds were unpredictable. And the eye of the storm was quickly approaching.

CHAPTER 4 Tobias “You’re home late.” Trinity’s cool tone drifted across the empty foyer, matching the frigidity of my parents’ marble floors. My bare feet slowed on my way to the kitchen as I tried to ignore my sister’s shadowed figure. She was curled up on the bottom of the stairs, but when she saw I wasn’t stopping, her steps came quickly behind me, halting at the island as I reached into the refrigerator to grab a bottled water. She had good intentions, but she’d become overbearing in the past year. Not only because of the adoption but also because of basketball. My dreams were within reach, and she wanted to help me get there—I understood that completely—but she needed to step back, take the pressure off, and let things evolve

naturally. Her pushing only caused my anxiety to focus on all the little things I couldn’t control, which was the last thing I needed. “Have a nice night, Trin?” I asked without turning around. I didn’t want to completely ignore her, but I couldn’t face her angry glare. It wasn’t just me she was concerned about. School had taken its toll on my sister’s moods lately, too. “A nice night? No, Tobias. What the hell? Where have you been?” I suppressed an eye roll and took a swig of water before capping it and shutting the door. “I’ve been out. And I’m beat. We’ll talk tomorrow, okay?” Still without looking at her, I started my exit, happy to avoid any conversation that would result in me lying to my sister. “Mom and Dad finally went to bed,” Trinity said from behind me. “We tried to call you a dozen times.” This made me turn. “My phone died. Why were Mom and Dad waiting up?”

Trinity looked prim and proper as ever as she sat with her blond hair in a perfect wave and her lips pressed in a flat line like our mother’s. It was their version of “stern,” designed to avoid any age lines. And it hit me again. I looked nothing like my mother and sister with their natural blond waves, light eyes, and pale complexion. Perhaps I never thought anything of it because of my father’s darker features, like mine. But I was taller, built like a ball player in every way, which gave me an advantage when it came to the game. My father was built more for the lap pool due to his youthful aspirations of becoming an Olympic swimmer. But the differences weren’t just in our athletic preferences. My chin jutted out farther than his, my jaw was a square-round versus his fuller face, and I was good with my hands and feet whereas my father was good at lawyering. I didn’t have a fucking clue what to think anymore. I’d spent months being angry with

my parents while memorizing all the features that made me different. And I slowly began to hate every inch. Until Amelia made her presence known in my life. She became my moon, guiding me through the darkness, illuminating hope when I’d thought all was lost … and she was waiting for me in the beach house next door. The only thing holding me back from joining her was Trinity, who stood in front of me with an envelope in her hands. My heart jolted. “What is that?” Her face grew red, and she placed the stationary behind her. “Forget about that. You don’t remember what today is?” My silence must have given her the answer, because her color deepened. “Oh my God, Tobias. Where has your head been?” My sister waited, her breaths heavy in the bare foyer. Then it hit me. How did I forget? It was the day the NBA was announcing who would go to the combine to show off for team prospects.

Shit. My hands shook, and my heart pounded so hard I could feel it in my ears. I stepped forward, eyeing her like she was my last lifeline. If I didn’t make the combine list, I didn’t know what was next. This ache in me that awoke for basketball wasn’t dying anytime soon. I couldn’t believe I’d stifled it for so long. But Amelia had reminded me of what I’d been missing. There was a reason Amelia had blown into my life the way she had. Sure, she’d always been there, but I hadn’t seen her. Not like I had after watching her dance. “You didn’t make it.” Her tone was filled with mixed emotion, sadness at the forefront. My eyes snapped to hers. “How do you know?” “I checked the website earlier, and then Aaron called.” Tears filled her eyes as she walked toward me. “The association didn’t get your letter in time.” It felt like Trinity had just placed her tiny

hands around my heart and squeezed. “I’m not even draft eligible?” Her words couldn’t be true. Without joining the draft, I had no chance in hell of making a team. As she shook her head, a tear slipped from her eye. “I’m so sorry, Tobias.” I reached for her. For some reason, comforting her when she’d delivered the worst blow imaginable seemed like the right thing to do. She was hurting for me while all I felt was a numbness I couldn’t yet explain. I didn’t want to get to a point where I could. But the news was sinking in with every aching breath. I was twenty-one years old, and my career should have been taking root and skyrocketing. I hadn’t wanted to get my hopes up, thinking I would get selected for the combine, but the hype surrounding me had me hoping, anyway. Without the draft, my chances went from slim to none. What I would have given to have a chance

to impress the scouts who didn’t see me finish my season last year. It was more than a vision, more than a dream. It was the only path I’d ever imagined. Turned out, my worst fears were coming true. The NBA didn’t want me after all. Even worse, my chances of returning to college ball were shot, if not from my disappearance last year, then from securing an agent too fast. When I pulled away from her, I again caught sight of what she was holding. “Is that for me?” She was close enough for me to take the envelope out of her hands, so I did. “Don’t tell me,” I said with a laugh of sarcasm. “They were nice enough to send me the rejection through the mail?” “Tobias, wait.” But I didn’t halt at her warning. I looked down instead. When I saw that it was addressed to me from the CDSS, anger and confusion swirled inside me. “But I just talked to social services today, and they said—” They’d said that some information had been sent to

me. My heart sped as I looked at the already opened flap. I glared at Trinity as I pulled out the contents—a single letter. I sank onto the nearest chair, knowing my knees wouldn’t hold my weight much longer. My next breath felt like I was sucking from a pinched straw. I blinked and shook my head, hoping beyond hope that my eyes were playing tricks on me. My hands shook as I opened the seal and pulled out the papers. There it all was, staring me in the face. The woman who gave me up—Selena Vasquez. The city where I was born—Santa Barbara. The time I was born, the hospital, my mother’s origin and blood type … my breaths were expelling fast. The information went on. Page by page, bits and pieces began to fit their way into the unfinished puzzle that was my life. I swallowed and set the birth certificate

aside to focus on the next document. I wished I hadn’t. After one glance at the certificate of death, my heart—the one given to me by a Selena Vasquez—crashed to the floor. My eyes floated up to face my sister. “She’s dead, Trin. My birth mother is dead.” Her jaw dropped, and another tear fell from her eye. “What?” she whispered. Her tiny lips quivered. “And your birth father?” I balled the certificate in my fist and squeezed, then shook my head. “Doesn’t say.” Her gaze dropped to the packet of documents as her face carried the shock that I felt in my heart. “Are you going to try to find him?” “No, Trin. I’m done looking into my past. It doesn’t fucking matter anymore.” “Of course it matters.” An ache started to form deep in my chest, and I knew I was moments away from exploding. “Don’t you get what this means?” I held up my fist with the crumpled paper. “I don’t have a past, and now I don’t have a

future either. Not without basketball.” I shot up from my seat and dropped the packet. “Fuck this night.” “You still have a future. Call Aaron,” Trin urged. “I’m sure there’s another way. Here.” Trinity shoved her phone into my hand. “Figure out what comes next.” I pushed her phone back to her as anger ripped through my chest. Aaron Wells talked a big game. He hadn’t even let me question my chances. And now what? Nothing. Not even an opportunity to prove myself. Why would I trust him? “It’s over.” I stumbled backward, my chest finally feeling the blow that had come minutes before. Trinity shed tears as she begged. “It’s not over. Just call him.” But I barely heard her words through the dark spiral my thoughts had taken. I moved quickly. Exactly like the night over one year ago when I found out about my adoption, I ripped through the hall until I was at the

kitchen and snatched a bottle of whiskey from the wet bar. After bursting through the back door, I raced across the porch and slipped out the side entrance. And as I walked toward the beach with no destination in mind, I let the black of night swallow me whole.

CHAPTER 5 Amelia There was no excuse this time. No rager my parents were throwing. No late-night workout that would keep him away. Tobias should have been here hours ago. Unless he fell asleep. But as possible as that scenario was, it didn’t sit well with me. Something felt wrong. I slipped a light hoodie over my tank top, left on my shorts, and threw my hair into a quick bun. The spring breeze whipped around me as my bare feet hit the sand. The grains were cooler than I expected, but it wasn’t enough to stop me from reaching the house next door. I peered through the back window of Tobias’s bedroom while gently tapping on it with my knuckles. I was met with silence, emptiness. He wasn’t there. I sighed and turned toward the beach to

head home. Then I saw him. Just a shadow in the sand, faintly lit by my favorite rock in the sky. My stomach knotted at the sight of him—slunk over himself and pulling a bottle to his lips. When he tipped his head up to drink, he swayed slightly before cursing into the wind and slamming the bottle on the beach. Blood pumped through my veins as I quickened my steps. “Tobias.” I got to him just as he was reaching for the bottle again and yanked it from his grasp. His eyes were slow to pan up, but he recognized me instantly. “Amelia.” He grabbed my wrist and pulled me toward him, causing me to fall forward into the sand. I righted myself and took a good look at him, wanting to understand why it looked like everything was about to come crashing down on us. “What is wrong?” My gaze flitted to the bottle of booze fisted in his right hand. I’d seen Tobias drink before—at parties Trinity and I shouldn’t have been at—but I’d never

seen him like this. It was like the whiskey was the ocean and he was trying to drown himself in it. “The NBA doesn’t want me.” He shrugged, but it was his bloodshot, tired, sad eyes I focused on. They carried so much heartbreak that my throat closed up. “I don’t understand. What happened?” “The combine list came out, but guess what? I’m not even draft eligible. They didn’t get my letter in time even though I mailed it last month. I don’t know what I’m going to do.” When his voice cracked on his last sentence, so did my heart. I hadn’t meant to fall in love with Tobias James, but in that moment, as I swam with him in his deepest pain, I knew it was too late. High tide had come and swept me away before I ever saw it coming. There was no shore to swim to for safety. No buoy to cling to. I was in way too deep. “This isn’t the end.” I was so certain my words were true, but nothing I would say could convince Tobias of anything else. I

could see defeat in his darkened eyes. When he shook his head and reached for the bottle now buried in the sand, I had to do something. Anything to drag him back to the present. I grabbed the half-drunk whiskey from the sand and chucked it as far away as I could fling it. Before he could react, I moved over him, straddling his lap and clutching his face with my palms. “Listen to me.” His eyes closed then opened again, his frown so deep, I knew it would be close to impossible to get through to him tonight. When his gaze locked into mine, I held it with all my will. He had to hear this. I didn’t care how drunk he was. “It’s not over.” He immediately lost focus, and I knew he was about to pull away, so I tugged on his face again, demanding his attention. “You’ll find another way.” His laugh was humorless, his throat scratchy, probably from too much liquor. His eyes scrolled drunkenly over my face. “Even when you’re blurry, you’re hot as fuck.”

I sighed. “I’m being serious right now.” He groaned. “Don’t you get it? I’m not fucking good enough. Not for the NBA, not for Pepperdine, not for my birth parents … And I only made it worse by dedicating the past year to finding them.” He shook his head. “What a fucking waste of time.” Hearing him say the words was like getting a cold splash of water. I knew that was the reason he’d given up basketball in college. He couldn’t focus on anything except the fact that he’d been adopted. It had consumed him in the worst way, crippling him and leaving him with no crutch to stand on. And now he thought it was too late. “It wasn’t a waste—” But before I could finish my sentence, he shoved a crumpled piece of paper in my hands. “Yes,” he said. “It was.” My hands shook as I straightened the paper as much as possible, but as soon as it became legible, I was able to make out why Tobias was so distraught. It was a certificate of death. And

while I didn’t recognize the woman’s name, I knew exactly who she was to Tobias. My hand moved to my mouth as my chest burned for his loss. “I’m sorry, Tobias.” “I don’t know who I am anymore.” His voice cracked again. I scooted forward on his lap and sat up straight while gripping his face even tighter than before. My throat constricted with emotion. It took everything in me to hold my tears at bay. “You are still Tobias fucking James, and don’t you ever forget that.” His expression hardened like he was trying to hold in his rebuttal. I wouldn’t allow him to have one. In an act of desperation, I wrapped my lips firmly around his, and I kissed him with all the conviction I could. His response was an awakening, instantaneous but slow to grow. Like I’d shaken the Tobias I’d fallen in love with, the man who was so much stronger than the bullshit that he was forced to endure, and he was fighting through the demons to find his

way back to me. When he responded, my eyes squeezed shut as tears began to leak through them. When he pulled away, his gaze felt sharper as it radiated directly to my core. Intense, but not as intense as his next words. “You’re my moon, you know?” His hands moved through my hair as he held my gaze. “The light in my dark. I’ll never stop reaching for you, Amelia.” I watched his Adam’s apple bob as my heart burned like a fiery ball in my chest. My mouth moved back to his, and I drank him in, his kiss making me drunk with each swipe of his warm, whiskey-flavored tongue. Whatever came next, we would always have this. It was all I needed, and in that moment, I knew he felt it, too. With each crashing wave hitting and rolling over the shore came change. We didn’t know what came next, but I feared the biggest wave would hit soon. And our imprint, no matter how deep, could never withstand the tide to come.

CHAPTER 6 Amelia I awoke to the sun kissing my cheek, the rest of me cradled by a hard body. Even while Tobias held me, protecting me from the lessthan-comfortable sleeping conditions, my body felt stiff and tired. I couldn’t remember when we’d finally drifted off, but carrying Tobias off the beach hadn’t been an option. Instead, we made a bed there. “Tobias,” I whispered into his ear. He stirred slightly but didn’t appear to be waking. I had to get him home. Tugging on him, I groaned. “Tobias, wake up.” Still, no movement. If it weren’t for the heavy rise and fall of his chest, I would be checking his pulse. “Why wake him? He looks comfortable.” My head snapped left at the sound of a

stranger invading our private moment. We weren’t alone. And the voice didn’t belong to a stranger at all. My eyes adjusted to see the figure of my best friend sitting there. Trinity looked a wreck, with her normally perfect curls tossed about and her eye makeup smudged. It was like she’d been through the same rough night I had. “Trin.” I looked at Tobias, whose arms were still linked in mine, our legs tangled. “This— we didn’t.” Fuck. I looked at her, knowing the guilt I felt in my heart was splattered all over my expression. “Save it, Amelia. I’ve been sitting here for a long time.” “How long?” She glared, her light-blue eyes spearing me like little icicles. “Long enough to put all the pieces together. So much makes sense now.” “It does?” Trinity nodded, her jaw firmly set. “All of Tobias’s late nights. How distracted he’s been.

How little I’ve seen of you.” My posture went rigid with her statements, especially the last one. I loved my best friend more than anything, but it was clear that we’d been drifting apart for months—something that hadn’t dawned on me until the first day of spring break, when I realized she’d completely forgotten my birthday. I’d thought maybe the added pressures of school played a part. She studied constantly while I traveled obsessively to LA for dance. Naturally, we’d had less to talk about while we focused on our futures. The hard reality was that I wanted to dance the hell out of a Lions halftime performance on center court of the Staples Center. And Trinity wanted her own psychiatric clinic to aid those who exhibited behaviors their psyche told them they weren’t in control of. “How little you’ve seen of me? You’ve been so buried in your schoolwork lately. You haven’t made time to see me since you got back from spring break. Did you even know

you forgot my birthday?” A gleam of amusement came to her eyes, like something I said had triggered another puzzle piece to fall into place. “Is that when all this started? Spring break?” When I didn’t argue, her expression morphed into realization. “You were the friend he was with in Big Sur, weren’t you?” I cringed, wanting to hold my confession until Tobias was awake so he and I could tell Trinity together, but from the pain shrouding her normally beautiful features, I knew waiting wasn’t an option. “That’s when it started.” My voice came out meek. I wasn’t proud of lying. Hopefully, one day she would be able to understand that. “We never meant for any of this to happen.” She chuckled. “But you couldn’t keep those pretty legs closed, could you?” I sucked in a breath. “Don’t be a bitch, Trin.” Her eyes narrowed. “Don’t be a slut, Amelia.” She looked at Tobias then me.

“You’re a fucking liar.” My eyes pricked with tears. “We didn’t want you to get the wrong idea.” “Oh yeah?” Her sarcasm was another twist of the knife in my gut. Only, I didn’t know who’d stuck it in there to begin with. It might as well have been me. “Tell me more. What wrong idea would that be? That my brother and my best friend were fucking each other behind my back for weeks?” I took in a ragged breath and set my shoulders before I attempted a response. “We were just … having fun.” The words tasted wrong in my mouth. More lies. At this point, I didn’t know who I was protecting. Trinity looked like she was about to explode. “You fucked over our friendship because you were just having fun?” “Hold on a minute.” My chest rattled with anger. Trinity was in for a rude awakening. “If you hadn’t sent your brother to save me when my car broke down, none of this would have

ever happened. I definitely wouldn’t have gone to him after you forgot my birthday and left town without even a goodbye. You’ve had your head up your ass for months.” Her nose flared. “I’ve been studying. Something you would understand if you gave a damn about your future.” Her words were a slap in the face, along with a sharp reality check. I knew Trinity and I were opposites, but I had missed the part where she’d lost respect for who I was. “Wow, tell me how you really feel.” I kept my tears at bay while my heart felt like it was breaking. “And here I was trying to protect your feelings while we waited to see what happened with the draft.” “Why?” “Because we didn’t want to make any decisions about us until then. We didn’t know what we were, or if it would last after Tobias left town and I moved to LA. We didn’t want to hurt you for no reason.” Trinity threw her arms out to her sides, her

lids wide. “And now what? He’s still going to leave. And your secret’s out. So I guess you both fucked up.” “No, Trin. We all fucked up. You’re not an innocent bystander in this.” Our stare down lasted only a few seconds, but it was enough time for me to register what she’d just said. He’s still going to leave. What was she talking about? Tobias stirred beside me. “Why all the shouting?” He sat up, groaned, and rubbed his eyes before peering between the two of us. “Fuck,” he sputtered when his eyes landed on Trinity. She nodded. “Yeah. Fuck.” He rolled his head in his palms then looked up again. “We can explain.” She let out a deep laugh, one that told me she wasn’t the least bit interested. “No need. Your temporary girlfriend here did enough of that. I’m done talking about it, actually.” Trinity stood and handed Tobias his cell phone. “I charged it for you. Call Aaron now.

He has something to talk to you about.” Tobias snatched the phone from her with a glare and started dialing. “Fine. But we’re definitely not done talking about this.” He gestured to me and him. Trinity stood there, her arms crossed over her chest. Her lips quivered like she was trying to stop a swell of tears from coming loose in her eyes. Or perhaps she’d already unleashed them all. As Tobias took the call with Aaron in semiprivacy by walking down the beach, I stared at Trinity as she focused on her brother. “I’m sorry, Trin. We both love you so much. You have to understand—or at least try—we knew it was wrong to hide it from you, but we didn’t know what else to do.” “And what about now?” she asked without adjusting her gaze. “Was the fun worth hurting me over?” I couldn’t respond, and from the set of her jaw, she knew exactly why. “You know what?” She waved a dismissive

hand in the air. “This isn’t even worth the argument. Whatever happens between you and Tobias is your mess to clean up.” I swiped at the fresh tears. “For what it’s worth,” I started with a hard swallow, “I care about him more than I planned to.” Her face flushed as she swiveled to meet my red eyes with hers. “Wait. Do you think you’re in love with him?” She laughed. “Oh, Amelia. You’ve always been so damn naïve. You don’t love Tobias, you love the idea of my soon-to-be-famous brother. You always have, so don’t think I never noticed. You of all people should know that Tobias doesn’t need distractions right now. He needs people in his life who can protect him from the cruelties of this world, not add more pain.” “I would never hurt him.” She scoffed. “Isn’t that exactly what you two plan to do to each other when you go your separate ways? Don’t kid yourself.” She was wrong, but I was through arguing with Trinity—not when she wouldn’t consider

looking at this situation from any other angle. Instead, I turned to watch Tobias pace the beach with his phone pressed to his ear. I had no idea what would come of us after this morning. All I cared about at that moment was that Aaron Wells would come through with some good news. When Tobias hung up the phone and turned toward us, his smile told me everything. The news was good. He walked forward, glancing between us. “Aaron wants me in Chicago. The Knights started a developmental league, the Windy City Knights, and he says they have their eyes on me. Local tryouts are in a few months, but he can hook me up with a trainer in the city and put me on the right path. He says my chances are really good.” “Chicago?” Trinity squealed. She leapt into Tobias’s arms and kissed his cheek as if there hadn’t just been an epic blowup between us a moment ago. “That means we’ll be in Chicago together.” While Trinity had her moment of

excitement,

I

tried

to

grasp

this

new

information while my heart grew heavy in my chest. “Developmental league? That’s like the minor leagues of the NBA, right?” Tobias nodded. “Less pay, more to prove, but it’s still the NBA, and the opportunities for call-ups to play with the Knights plus sponsorships give me a chance to make a real career out of this.” I’d ask him what a “call-up” was later. This was great news. He was happy. So why was there a sinking feeling in my gut? But whatever I felt deep down didn’t matter. This was what Tobias had been working for forever. It was what I wanted for him. He wouldn’t see me as anything but happy. A smile lit my face as I stared back at him. “It’s happening.” His eyes brightened. “Shit. Yeah. It’s happening.” He stood there looking stunned for a moment before I had to ask the question I didn’t want answered. At least, not with the answer I thought he would give.

“When do you leave?” I figured it could be a month, and a couple of weeks would be worst-case since he said the tryouts were in a few months. The last thing I expected him to say was “Tomorrow.” “What?” I choked out. He deflated a little at my reaction. “Aaron wants me on the court first thing Monday to get started. Apparently, he’s already talked to a trainer who wants to work with me—some ex-NBA hotshot. I don’t know who, but I’ll find out soon. Between the two of them, they’re working on a game plan to create some buzz and get me in front of the right people before tryouts. I don’t want to push my luck.” This was the Tobias I’d been fighting for. The man who felt as passionate about basketball as I did about dance. He was always meant to leave to fulfill his dreams. I was never supposed to fall in love with him. And then it hit me. I wasn’t his moon. We didn’t even belong to the same galaxy. I’d fallen for a man who was never mine to

begin with.

CHAPTER 7 Tobias It was well past midnight by the time I had finished packing, and the adrenaline from my call with Aaron still fueled my veins. Out of all the conversations we’d had over the past month, none of them had included a mention of the developmental league. Why didn’t that possibility occur to me? I’d been running around like a madman since morning, attending to last-minute errands, pulling the essentials from my closet and drawers, and filling my suitcases with anything and everything I could possibly need for the foreseeable future, all while Trinity talked a mile a minute about our future in Chicago until finally passing out on my bed. I zipped my last suitcase and added it to the pile outside my door before taking my first

real breath of the day. The pause hit me with a few things I wasn’t ready for. One, my stomach rumbled with hunger. I’d barely stopped to snack on a sandwich that Trinity had made for me at lunch. Two, my stench was monstrous, not just from working up a sweat with all the excitement but also from the scent of whiskey that still filled my breath and leaked from my pores. Three, I remembered the heartbroken look Amelia thought she could mask with a smile. It stabbed me in the moment, but I’d allowed myself to feel it only now. We knew this was coming. We’d talked about it from the beginning. We’d planned to go our separate ways when the time was right, but I doubted the time would have ever felt right. I couldn’t escape the gutting loss I felt at the thought of leaving her. After closing the door to my bathroom, I stripped free of my clothes and started the shower. While waiting for the water to warm, I pressed my palms against the counter and

leaned forward, checking out my bloodshot eyes in the mirror. Last night had been rough. Only one other time in my life had I felt my world tipping on its axis and throwing me over the edge. While I’d haphazardly tossed my dream to the wind after finding out about my adoption last year, I still wanted my shot at the NBA just as badly now. It took that nudge to help me see it. Amelia had been that nudge. I had always believed that people come in and out of your life for a reason. But I refused to believe that any role Amelia played was a temporary one. There had to be more for us in this life. After my shower, I tossed on a pair of shorts and my college basketball jersey over a white shirt and checked on Trinity. She was still on my bed, snoring lightly. I unfolded a blanket and lay it over her before closing my bedroom door and exiting the house through the kitchen. When I got to Amelia’s room, I tapped

lightly on the French doors. She pulled them open a moment later, stopping my heart all at once. Her eyes looked swollen from crying while her hair was a knotted mess atop her head. She hadn’t even changed out of what she was wearing when she found me on the beach, Guilt pummeled me as I pulled her to my chest. “Shit. I’m sorry. Today’s been …” All the words on the tip of my tongue felt wrong. Exhilarating, busy, crazy. None of the words encapsulated the life-changing turn of events that we’d had zero time to truly process. She pressed her cheek hard into my chest and squeezed me with her arms. “Are you packed?” “I am.” I swallowed. Silence had always been a comfortable thing with Amelia and me, but not this time. Silence might as well have been the ticking clock that had been haunting us for months. There was no snooze button. No reset knob. There wasn’t even a plug to yank from the wall. Our end

had approached, and from the way we clung to each other, nothing could have prepared us for goodbye. My stomach rumbled again, and I tried to mentally force my hunger away, but Amelia had already heard it. She stepped back and eyed me curiously. “Have you eaten?” “Not much, but I’m fine.” There would be plenty of time for food once I got to Chicago. I wanted to focus on the woman who’d stolen my heart. I should have known she wouldn’t accept my response. She pulled me into her room and then toward her bedroom door that led into the hallway. “Come. Let me fix you something. And don’t worry.” She threw me a small smile. “My parents are out of town.” After all the sneaking around we’d done since first hooking up over spring break, I couldn’t help feeling a sense of disappointment in knowing the charade was over. Not because that was what had made it worthwhile but because it was another part of

what I would be leaving when I woke up in the morning. And now that Trinity finally knew, we still wouldn’t have an opportunity to explore what we could have had. Amelia dimmed the lights on our way in and left me at one end of the island while she sorted through her pantry. She placed a jar of peanut butter and a loaf of bread on the counter. “This okay?” She stared back at me with wide, innocent eyes, like she didn’t know me well enough to guess the answer. “It’s perfect.” A smile barely touched her lips while she pulled out the cutting board. “Trinity’s pretty excited about Chicago, isn’t she?” As much as I didn’t want to talk about Trinity or Chicago right then, I couldn’t ignore her question either. “She’s stoked. But I don’t think we’ll be seeing much of each other. She’s already gotten placement for a dorm on campus.” Amelia pulled out two pieces of bread and turned the lid on the peanut butter. “What

about you? Do you have a place to stay?” “Aaron said he’s taking care of it. I don’t really know what that means, but I guess I’ll figure it out tomorrow.” “Look at you, already getting pampered.” She smiled, and this time it reached her eyes. “I don’t know about that. Hopefully, this idea Aaron has works out. He sure has a lot invested in some kid who dropped out of college.” She shook her head as she used the knife to scoop out a blob of peanut butter. “You’re always so hard on yourself. You’ve earned this and whatever else comes your way.” I watched her, mesmerized by the way her wrist moved, carefully and controlled, like the way she danced. Even the way she spread peanut butter across a slice of bread was erotic as hell. My eyes darted to her mouth just as she wet her lips, knowing that she was completely unaware of the effect she was having on me. That was Amelia in a nutshell —clueless about the power she held.

“So.” She said it like something was weighing on her mind. “Did Trin say anything else about us? Did she still seem mad?” “She hasn’t said anything to me, but I promise I’ll talk to her in Chicago. Or maybe you two can talk before you both leave town …” I didn’t know how to salvage their friendship, but I would try. Amelia pressed her lips together as she pushed my food across the island. “I don’t think it will do any good.” Her sad tone tugged at my chest. It would be unfair of Trinity to forgive me and not Amelia, but I also knew my sister, and she wasn’t easily reasoned with. I pulled the sandwich to my lips and almost fainted at the smell. “Thank you.” Four bites later, the sandwich was gone, and Amelia’s light laugh floated across the space between us. “You need water.” I stood. “I’ll get it.” She was already turning and reaching into the fridge. I got to her just as she swiveled

around, bottle in hand. I grinned as her eyes opened wider. Then I pressed the door closed behind her and gripped her waist. “What are you doing?” she squealed while I picked her up and placed her on the island. “I told you I could get that.” I pulled the water from her clutches, took off the lid, and chugged, letting the cold liquid rinse my throat. When I set it back on the counter, she was staring at me like the sight pained her. I didn’t want it to end like this, in sadness and heartbreak. Why can’t it end in hope? Why does it have to end at all? She ran a hand through my hair, roughing it at the top, while I gazed at her, soaking in the way her light-green eyes looked almost brown in the dim overhead lights. “I guess this is goodbye, huh?” I shook my head as my brows pulled together. “No.” “Tobias,” she said, her tone soft and scolding. “It’s not.” I searched her expression, praying

I wasn’t being an idiot. All this time together, the nights we’d shared, the secrets we’d kept. It couldn’t only be me. I swallowed. “The way I see it, I’ll be focused on basketball, and you’ll have dance. That doesn’t mean we can’t talk. That doesn’t mean we’ll never see each other again.” She looked lost in her thoughts for a minute, and I knew she was considering my words. “So, what? We’re long-distance … friends?” I leaned forward, placing my forehead against hers. “You know as well as I that you can’t put a label on what we are. We’re just Amelia and Tobias. We’re moon and earth, living among the stars and sun. We’re everything. And no matter the distance, we still make sense together.” Her next breath hitched as she sucked it in. “That’s beautiful, but gravity weakens with distance, remember?” I shook my head, refusing to accept her point. “Not when it comes to us.” I swallowed around the thickness building in my throat.

“Not when we defy gravity.” I kissed her hard, pulling her body close while her mouth molded to mine. We fit so well, not even she could deny that. And she didn’t. Not when I stripped her of her clothes and lay her down. Not when I buried my head between her legs and stroked her devilishly with my tongue. And not when my fingers pushed inside her, working her center until she screamed my name like it was a curse word. A layer of sweat coated her body when I pulled her into my arms and wrapped her legs around my waist. Our mouths stayed on each other as I walked her to her bedroom and placed her on her bed. I yanked my clothes off next and kicked them to the side before sitting at the edge of her bed and pulling a condom from her nightstand. My cock was hard as stone as I rolled it on, already missing the feel of her wrapped around me. And when I hovered above her, fitting myself to her body and readying myself for

that first thrust, I leaned in to steal another kiss before placing my mouth on her ear. “I’ll find my way back to you, Amelia.” I bit down on tender skin and nudged against her entrance, relishing the moan that slipped past her throat. “I’m about to make sure you don’t forget that.”

CHAPTER 8 Amelia Two Months Later “Welcome, Ms. Clark. Please find a spot on the floor, and we’ll begin warm-ups shortly.” I’d arrived at the UCLA Training Facility early in the morning, not wanting anything to stand in my way of making the team, and I blasted the woman at the registration desk with my megawatt smile as my nerves lit up my body like a Christmas tree. I could only play it cool to an extent. When it came to the moment I’d been dreaming of since I was thirteen years old, my excitement could not be contained. Ever since Tobias left town, staying busy had been the only way to stifle the ache in my chest from missing him. The moment my mind relaxed, memories of him invaded every crevice, and it was close to impossible to get

them out. Which was probably why I’d been so productive. After graduation, I’d moved into my apartment in LA, and I’d attended an insane number of master classes to challenge myself, but it was the local NBA dance workshop that had been the most beneficial step toward my dream career. The workshop included everything from applying game-ready makeup to interview tips and sample dance choreography—which might sound silly to the average person, but all of it mattered as a professional dancer. In any job, looking and acting the role was part of the gig. Things were no different in dance. They even gave us an overview of a day in the life. That was when it all started to feel real. I had never considered how much time went into joining an NBA team until talking to some of the dancers. The girls explained how their commitment ranged from twenty to sixty hours a week between practices, games, training, and events. And on top of that, most of them had second or third jobs to be able to

support themselves. It was no secret that the compensation was less than stellar, and they’d mentioned that, too. They made it clear that whoever applied should be ready to put in the time without complaint. No one argued. As I settled into my spot, I smiled at the girl to my left, whom I recognized from the workshop. She was pixie-like, shorter than me, with big, light-brown eyes, lashes that went on for days, and a long mane of braided red hair that reached the small of her back. She met me with a bright smile of her own. “I’m Margie,” she said as she leaned toward me. “Amelia, but my friends call me Amie.” I wasn’t sure when the nickname had started or who started it, but no one in LA ever called me Amelia. It was just another reminder of how different my two worlds were. And now with Tobias gone, I had no reason to go back except for the occasional family affair. A crackling came over the speakers, turning our attention to the front of the room. A woman in a yellow-and-gray tracksuit leaned

into the microphone. “We’ll get started in five minutes with a warm-up routine, dancers. Please check your attire before we begin. Crop tops, swim tops, or sports bras are all approved for the waist up. Briefs or hot shorts from the waist down. Those not adhering to dress code will be asked to leave.” Thanks to the workshop, I was prepared in a pair of purple spandex shorts that covered enough of my thighs to not tap into my insecurities and a sparkly gold halter-style sports bra that pushed me up while keeping me in place. But my preparation didn’t stop there. My hair was teased, sprayed, and curled to give it maximum volume and holding power. And my makeup was caked on, topped with bronzer, highlighters, lipstick, and a finishing powder. I was surprised that I didn’t topple over every time I stood, but I was game-ready. And if the agenda followed the same format as described in the workshop, I was well aware of how the day would break down. We would

learn a jazz routine first, there would be cuts, and then there would be a hip-hop routine before the finalists were announced. The remaining fifty would move on to boot camp week. Coach Sparks, the Lions’ dance coach and choreographer, breezed through the gymnasium’s main doors, and I swore I felt her presence before I even saw her. All the air seemed to leave the room as everyone grew eerily silent. Not out of excitement but out of fear. My eyes traveled around the room, catching the veteran girls righting themselves into perfect posture and widening their smiles. And although they were smiling like pros, they reeked of panic and apprehension. Even the veterans were forced to audition every year. And that was when reality clutched my gut. The extensive training that I’d had growing up didn’t matter. My experience was no different than that of most girls in the room. Not even

the workshop gave me the edge that they’d promised when they asked for my hefty fee to join. No one was safe. Least of all me.

The second part of the day focused on hip-hop choreography, which was by far where I excelled. I’d studied all kinds of dance growing up, but hip-hop was where my soul spread its wings and soared. Without chains, without boundaries—I felt free. Tack on some strong execution, precision, and sunshiny facials, and it was safe to say that I was ready to perform the shit out of the routine. Coach Sparks leaned into the microphone after the last group performed. Margie was among them, and I couldn’t help staring at her the entire time. She was eye-catching with her long lines and unique dance style. But with only a selection of us moving on afterward, I had no clue who the judges would set their

sights on. “Group C, please take your places.” That was me, along with four other hopefuls who pressed their way ahead. I took the remaining spot on the end and waited for the intro music to start.

I’d grown leaps and bounds as a dancer over the years, not just in style but the politics behind it all, too. Through word of mouth at Gravity, I knew that auditioning for the Lions was less about individual talent—that was expected—and more about how I fit into the fold. In a case like this, no one dancer should stand out too much. We hit the last move and immediately started freestyling until the judges gestured for us to step back with the others. I jogged off the court, feeling my heart lodged in my throat. My nerves were starting to get the best

of me, feeding my mind with all the reasons that I wouldn’t possibly make it to the next round. I found myself studying all the other dancers and contemplating what the judges were looking for, praying they saw a quality in me that would put me in whatever elite group they had in mind. “Attention, dancers,” Coach Sparks said into her headset. “We are ready to narrow things down and then call it quits for the day. You are all extremely talented, making our decision very difficult.” She took a step back and sat at the judges’ table while a man to her right grabbed the table mic. “If I call your number, please be back here tomorrow at nine a.m. for the start of boot camp. If your number is not called, we thank you for coming out today.” My heart pounded furiously as I awaited my fate. I wanted it so badly—just one shot to prove I was made for this opportunity. I wouldn’t let them down. “All of Group C.” My head snapped up to

look at Coach Sparks as my breath caught in my throat. “You’ve made it through.”

CHAPTER 9 Tobias “Full-court suicides. Three minutes. Let’s go.” I bent over to catch my already-heaving breaths. “Fuck, man.” We had just finished stair sprints. “Give me a minute.” Otis chuckled and pointed at the sidelines. “Get your ass over there and stop whining. You’ve got two months of training left, and your speed and agility need work.” I appreciated the ass kicking, I truly did. But I was fucking beat. My world began spinning the moment I’d landed on the O’Hare tarmac two months ago. I could feel its orbit on the tip of my finger, spinning faster and faster, making it harder to control. Luckily, Aaron had done me a solid by hooking me up with one of my childhood

heroes, Otis Hill, a shooting guard who got traded from the Lions, to the Knicks, and then to the Knights in Chicago. After retiring his jersey five years ago, at thirty-five years old, he stepped in as a private trainer for the Knights. Why he’d decided to train me, too, was beyond me, but I was more than grateful for the shot. Not only that, but I now lived downtown in a high-rise condo that overlooked the Gold Coast at Lake Michigan. It was the first place Aaron took me when I got off the plane at O’Hare. The corner unit was big—bigger than I would ever need for a temporary home—and furnished with a selection of modern pieces I would have never chosen myself. But most importantly, it was free. Turned out Otis was also an investor in properties all over the United States with a handful of places in Chicago. And he was more than willing to let me stay in one of them for as long as I needed—at least, as long as I

kept him on as my trainer. “Just this last drill and then you can kick back until tomorrow.” I snorted. “What’s on the menu for tomorrow?” “Do you really want to know?” I cringed. “Don’t tell me it’s ballet or some shit like that.” “Shooting drills, but—” Otis paused a second, nodded, and jotted something on his clipboard. “Thanks for the idea.” “You’re kidding me, right?” He shook his head, cutting me a serious glance. “You think pumping iron and running a few miles is hard? You have no idea until you put those ballerina slippers on. And you will. Now go.” He pointed toward the court. With a groan, I forced myself to step in Otis’s direction. “You realize there’s no way in hell I’m going to beat my time from this morning.” Otis shook his head. “Not expecting that. I’m expecting you to beat your time from

twenty-four

hours

ago.

It’s

a

better

comparison.” That made more sense. It didn’t change the fact that I was still fucking beat. I took a few more deep breaths, checked my laces, and sauntered over to the baseline where the drill would start. My legs burned, and every breath stoked a fire in my lungs. I raced across the polished wood like my life depended on it, bending at the waist and smacking the floor with my palm at every marker until Otis’s timer finally went off. Then I collapsed on the floor. He knelt beside me, a full-blown grin on his face. “You’re consistent, Toby. Keep improving your drills like that and you’ve got nothing to worry about come September. Your strength is there, your verticals are right where they need to be, and you’ve got what they want as far as body size goes.” His hand clapped against my chest before he rose to his feet. “Good work.” “Thanks.” And I meant it. I might give Otis

a healthy serving of bullshit, but it was all in good fun. The man could deliver a grade A whooping. In the short time I’d been working with him, I felt more on top of my game than I had playing college ball, and it would only get better. There were just a few of us in the locker room, so I took advantage of the shower, letting its hot, pounding water roll over my tired muscles. The workouts were tough, and I could already see my body changing. But I should have known Otis would take that ballerina wisecrack and turn it against me. I wrapped a towel around my hips and searched through my duffel bag for a fresh set of clothes when a light shone through a white crumpled-up V-neck. A loud buzzing followed. Stuffing my hand into my bag, I sorted through the mess of fabric to get to my phone. When I saw Amelia’s name pop up on my caller ID, my chest tightened, and I couldn’t pull back the idiot grin that spread across my

face. Speaking of ballerinas. “Your ears must be burning,” I said while setting my phone on speaker so I could change. She laughed. “What? Why?” Okay, so Amelia wasn’t anything close to a ballerina, though I knew she had taken plenty of classes. Her style was more midriff-baring than pink tutu and tights, and her cat walks were so sexy they’d made my dick rise on more than one occasion. With all that isolated popping of her hips, so skilled and powerful, her struts burned brightly in my mind. “Otis wants me to take up ballet. Figured maybe I could get him to fly you out so you could teach me some moves.” “Ha!” she said, knowing fully well I didn’t dance. “I would pay my own way there to show you some moves.” I sighed since it was all wishful thinking at this point. The most we had to look forward to were conversations just like this when we were able to catch each other, which was rare. Pushing the downer thoughts away, I tossed

my duffel over my shoulder. “I don’t know, Birthday Girl. If anyone could talk me into prancing around in a tutu and tights, it’s you, but it will take some convincing.” I could envision her smirk in our shared silence. “When are you going to stop calling me that?” “Never. Get used to it.” And I meant it. Amelia had earned that nickname when she begged me to take her wherever I was going over spring break. My immediate answer had been a hard no, but then she mentioned that everyone had forgotten her birthday—her parents and my sister included. I couldn’t turn her down. That was where it all began. She sighed. “Fine.” My lips curved into a smile. “You’re stalling.” She’d been on edge for the past few weeks, putting her everything into prepping for the Lions Dance Team auditions. Oh. “The auditions were today, right? Tell me something good.” I wished I could see her face.

“Ask me how I did.” I grinned. “You crushed it.” “I said ask me.” Chuckling, I pushed open the locker room door, all the while imagining those pretty eyes narrowing in on me. “How did you do?” She squealed, lighting me up from inside. “I crushed it!” Her excitement was palpable, and I craved to be with her to witness it. “Of course you did. So what’s next?” “Fifty of us move on to boot camp week. I’m excited about everything except for the interview panel.” Her laugh was light. “Wish me luck.” “You don’t need luck.” “Okay, charmer. I just wanted to tell you the news. I’m meeting some friends for dinner.” I frowned, disappointed this wouldn’t be one of those nights that we stayed on the phone for hours talking. “You’ve got this, babe. Just show ’em your heart.” “I hope you know I’m saving all this pep

talk stuff for when it’s time for your tryout.” I grinned. “I’ll need it. Can I call you tomorrow?” There was a moment of silence I couldn’t place. Is it hesitation or something else? We’d talked once or twice weekly since I’d left town, but I hated hearing only the highlights of her life. I wanted to know all of it. What made her smile? What made her sad? Once auditions were over for both of us, I was determined to find the time to talk more. And I knew we’d said that we wouldn’t label what we were, but I couldn’t help feeling like she was mine, and I was hers, and a day that went by without speaking to her was a day wasted. “I don’t know,” she said softly, effectively crushing me. “I’ll be at boot camp, and I’m not sure what the day looks like …” She trailed off like maybe she’d just been making an excuse. The distance had been hard for both of us. “But I’ll text you when I know,” she added, and I clung to the hope that she would. After we got off the phone, thoughts of her

plagued me the entire drive home. She sounded like she was doing well. Happy. And it was enough for me to know we’d done the right thing by leaving the labels out of it. Labels would only add pressure to something we had no control of. But I was determined to find a way back to LA, to Amelia, to where my dream truly began. With her by my side.

CHAPTER 10 Amelia One Month Later “Jesus, it’s like second skin.” I giggled nervously as I looked down at the purple bikini top that knotted between my breasts, then at the white-sequined booty shorts. Where the fabric ended, all of me was exposed. I was in our training facility locker room with the rest of the Lionesses, trying out the uniforms from seasons past. The deal was we had to fit into what was available or sit out games until we could. Harsh, but those were the rules when it came to dancing with the Lions. We received daily reminders of how unforgiving live cameras could be when zoomed in on our soft spots as we jumped and flew through the air. Apparently, jiggle tests were a real thing under Coach Sparks.

My ass and legs had always been the two parts of my body I’d obsessed over. My thighs were too thick, too muscular. My ass was big —round but firm. Tobias had never complained, but when it came to dance, it was no secret that I was “heavier” than other girls because of my frame. All I had to do was look at the mirror when surrounded by my new teammates. I was no stranger to wearing clothes that exposed my midsection, my cleavage, or even my legs, but since we’d gotten back from our photo shoot in Hawaii, I’d been more selfconscious than ever. Everything had been fine until the photographer pulled Coach Sparks aside in the middle of snapping pics of me and said something that made her narrow her eyes in my direction. They exchanged what seemed like heated words as I stood there, slowly losing my confidence. He hadn’t stopped any other shoots, and as I looked around at the girls behind me,

insecurity reared its ugly head. Fiona, our newly appointed captain, and a few other veterans stood around her, holding their hands over their mouths as they stifled giggles and whispered to each other while keeping their eyes on me. What are they looking at? That had been my first thought. It hadn’t occurred to me right away that they were laughing at me. I had my insecurities like everyone else, but never had those insecurities felt exploited until then. My build had never been an issue while I was dancing at Gravity. Everyone came from different backgrounds, and our unique shapes were celebrated. But as I stood there in my tiny yellow bikini bottoms and a shiny purple triangle top, it didn’t matter that Hawaiian palm trees were swaying in the wind and turquoise water was spilling up the shore. Their focus was on me. The sun became my magnifying glass, spotlighting all the flaws they chose to see. From that point on, everything had felt like

it was going downhill. I already knew that Fiona was the troublemaker. She was a veteran, so entitlement played a strong role in her behavior, but she was also the team captain, giving her power she probably shouldn’t have held. Not with the vile way she chose to abuse it. She had called it hazing. In reality, swapping Lola’s gum with Play-Doh and sneaking into my hotel room to reset my alarm so I would be an hour late for our makeup and hair appointment was pretty fucked up. But nothing had pissed me off more than the night before the shoot when she slid Margie and me a piece of gum during dinner. “Portion control, ladies. Let’s not forget why we’re in paradise.” The worst part was that Coach Sparks turned a cheek to it, which told me the saddest truth of all—she agreed. “Hey,” Margie said from beside me, breaking me out of my daydream. “You look

sexy.” I swallowed, wanting to believe her. Why has this become so hard? When did I stop loving the person who looks back at me in the mirror? I smiled at Margie, appreciating her kind words, but my internal thoughts said the opposite. It was ironic that she thought my curves were sexy when I envied her long, sleek frame. Everything about Margie screamed “model.” My gaze floated back to the mirror, and I couldn’t help comparing myself with her. Margie was built like a ballerina—long and lean limbs, perfect posture, and an angelic smile always poised on her face. But while we were opposites, out of all the girls, she was the one I’d connected with the most. Just then, Fiona walked behind us, trailed by two other veterans. She held a stack of large books in her hands, and her slow, rolling gaze traveled over my body. I shifted. When her eyes reached mine, she feigned a sympathetic expression and handed me a

book from the top of the stack. “The photographer did a great job, don’t you think?” I took the book and looked down to see that it was the calendar from our Hawaii shoot. Dread filled me as I pulled open the pages and started to flip through them. Fiona clearly knew something I didn’t. My first thought was that I’d been cut from the calendar altogether. That probably wouldn’t have hurt as badly as what I found when I flipped to November. My eyes pricked with emotion as my throat thickened against my swallow. My eyes flickered up then back down to the image of me standing just as I remembered that day, only the body I was staring at looked nothing like me. “Isn’t it amazing what people can do in Photoshop? You look great there, Amie. You should, I don’t know—” She shrugged before laughing through the rest of her words. “Use it as inspiration.” “Fuck off, Fiona.” Margie stepped in front of

me and stabbed the air before Fiona’s eyes. Fiona slapped her finger away. “I’m your captain. You can’t talk to me like that.” “And you can talk to us the way you do? Being captain doesn’t make you above the rules.” Fiona stepped in, accepting Margie’s challenge. Her voice dropped in volume, but I could make out bits and pieces of what she was saying. “Thanks to me … you owe me … in the best interests of the team.” She smiled at Margie then caught my eye over her shoulder. “All I’m saying is that we all have little changes to make to transform into Lionesses. For me, it was toning. For you”—her eyes flicked up and down my body again—“it might take a little more. Like, laying off the nachos, maybe.” My jaw dropped so hard I could practically hear it hitting the floor. “You’re up, Amie,” Coach Sparks called. My entire body was shaking as a heat wave coursed through me. I stepped around my

asshole captain without bitch-slapping her in her pretty plastic chin, but her comment wasn’t one that I would let roll off my back. Fiona was wrong. Nachos were always the way to go. I headed toward the section of the locker room that Coach was using for meetings with each of us. I approached her with Fiona’s words still rippling through my mind. “Nachos, huh?” She’d heard everything. “I’m not sure what she’s talking about, Coach. I’m healthy, I promise.” Coach nodded. She was aware of the hours I was putting in at the gym, and she knew I followed the food log entries to a T. She couldn’t argue that I wasn’t following the rules, because I was obsessed with doing everything I possibly could to not only be one of them but to feel like one of them. “I believe Fiona is referring to your Instagram post.” “But—”

Coach held up a hand. “I know it’s old. Fiona does, too, but you know how she is. To be safe, just clean up your feed. Once you’re announced on our website, you’ll have young fans stalking every move you make. You’re a public figure now, Amie.” Despite the absurdity of it all, I sifted through the advice to find the truth behind her words. My eyes were set on the prize. That end goal—standing on that court during a live game—would make all the bullshit worth it in the end. My dreams would soon become reality. If I had to make sacrifices along the way, I would. When I focused on Coach again, she was scanning my attire as I’d seen her do with all the girls. Her fingers plucked the straps, she tested the space between the lift and my skin with the distance of her finger, then she zoomed in on my cleavage before nodding. She moved down to my stomach next, to the abs I’d worked diligently to achieve, and smiled. “You’ve got to be one of the most

athletic newbies.” I thought it was a compliment until she flipped me around and started plucking the back of my outfit, stopping when she got to my ass. It was the same place my eyes had zoomed in to before Fiona made her comment. Fingers slid up the backs of my thighs, and I tensed. “You’re spilling.” Annoyance filled Coach’s voice. I tried to look over my shoulder to see what she was talking about but gasped when her same fingers pinched the skin below my right ass cheek. “Ouch.” Coach Sparks sighed and took her hand away. “Don’t worry, love. By the time you get on that court, that extra fat will be long gone. Talk to your weight trainer about upping your cardio and decreasing your leg weights.” She gave me a tight smile and winked. “We’ll get you in pro shape in no time.” Our conversation in the locker room left me stunned, affecting my mood once we entered

the rehearsal space. I found it hard to focus on anything except the way my ass jiggled in my new shorts, but that wasn’t even the worst part of the day. It was the announcement that came at the end of practice that officially threw me off my game. “All right, ladies, we’ve got two months until game time. Today was an important wake-up call for some of you. From here on, no excuses. Your hard work will show in your dance steps but most importantly on your body. We picked you for a reason, but it’s just the beginning.” I shouldn’t have taken the bait, but I caught Fiona eyeballing me from the front of the room. Like the glutton for punishment I was, I looked up to catch her scanning my body again, this time without a filter on her disapproval. “And don’t forget,” Coach Sparks said, and I turned my attention back to her. “You’ll need to audition every game day to make it to the court.”

A numbness started in my chest and worked its way through me. By the time rehearsals were over, I couldn’t wait to leave. I was walking across the parking lot when my phone buzzed. I reached into my bag to check it. Tobias: Otis just took my measurements. Pretty sure the next time you see me, you won’t even recognize me. #Hulk I grinned, my cheeks growing warm as I typed my response. Amelia: Uh-oh. Better send me a pic just in case. Tobias: Nice try. You first. I bit my bottom lip then turned to lean against my car just as Margie was walking by to get into hers. “Tobias wants a pic,” I said with a laugh. I’d confided in her over dinner one night, so she knew all about my nonlabeled relationship with the man of my dreams. She grinned. “Send him the profile shot I

took of you in uniform. Ask him how your ass looks. Bet he won’t have a problem with it.” We laughed, and as she was entering her car, I thumbed through my pics and pushed Send. Amelia: How does my ass look? “All right,” I called over my shoulder. “Done. But I already know he loves my ass.” “I’m sure that’s not all he loves,” she called back, then winked before shutting the door and starting her engine. My chest squeezed with her words. As much as I wished it were true, that was all it could ever be. A wish. She waved and drove off. I looked down at my phone. Tobias: That’s a stupid question. I can’t believe I never bit that thing. Amelia: My coach thinks it’s massive. Tobias: Your coach needs a lobotomy. You are perfect. A tingling rippled through my body, and I

was grateful Margie had left. Amelia: Your turn. I opened his picture, and my mouth fell open. All I saw were arms, chest, and abs. The image still looked like Tobias, only twice as big. Amelia: Wow. You must work out. Tobias: Otis tortures me and calls it training. Amelia: Sounds similar to the daily grind of an NBA dancer. Tobias: You’re so official. Amelia: You will be, too, soon. When are tryouts? Tobias: Next month. Almost there. Amelia: Maybe you’ll come to LA for a game? Tobias: Hope so. That was all he said, and my giddiness over our entire chat fizzled. I couldn’t help wondering where this undefined relationship we’d built was leading. I liked him too much for it to go nowhere, but our circumstance made anything more impossible.

Amelia: I should go… I entered my car and started my engine before looking at my phone again. Tobias: Okay. If you ever need feedback about other body parts, just send them my way. Always here to help. Amelia: Aren’t you the sweetest? Tobias: You must not remember… Amelia: I could never forget.

CHAPTER 11 Tobias One Month Later The Chicago skyline was beautiful at night, a sight I was able to explore from the third story of a luxury yacht. Detrick Malone, shooting guard for the Windy City Knights, rented it as a “welcome to the team” gesture. Turned out, it could pass for a set in a P. Diddy music video shoot, too. Music blared from the dance floor on the bottom deck. Expensive champagne was being passed around like Halloween candy. Halfnaked women were everywhere, the evening chill clearly not a factor in their wardrobe choices. And practically everyone was shitfaced drunk. Including Trinity. I tore my eyes from the approaching shoreline and looked around. My sister was nowhere in sight. I hadn’t wanted to bring her

here in the first place, but what could I do? She’d been having a rough time since the start of school. She knew no one at the University of Chicago, and classes were nothing like what she had expected. To top it off, her dorm mate was a complete asshole with no regard for Trinity’s need to study or sleep. Not wanting to be a dick, I invited her out tonight, but with strict conditions. She wasn’t allowed to get shit-faced, and she couldn’t get tangled up with any of my teammates. The last thing I needed was family drama interlaced with making my debut in the NBA. Developmental League or not, I needed this opportunity. Trying to push away thoughts of my sister, I pulled my phone out of my pocket to find a new message from Amelia. We’d gone from communicating twice a week, to once a week, and now it was down to once a month, if we were lucky. Our careers had taken over our lives, just as we’d said would happen. It was the plan. But why did I still feel the denial of

what we were to each other? In my heart, she was mine, but in reality, she belonged to her dream. Amelia: Are you awake? Tobias: Yes. On a yacht. Looking at the moon. The silence that followed my message lasted five minutes too long. Knowing Amelia, she probably thought she was bothering me, despite the hidden meaning behind my moon reference. Tobias: I’m hanging out on the top deck, waiting for Trin. Amelia: How is she? Tobias: Drunk. How are you? Amelia: Very sober. I smiled at that, reminded all too well of her innocence. Amelia: I was hoping you could give me your opinion. We’re supposed to do this sexy photoshoot thing for some magazine, but … the outfit is a little iffy. Video chat? That perked me right up. Whenever Amelia

asked my opinion on dance attire, I was guaranteed an instant erection. I looked around for a bathroom before thinking better of it. Any bathroom on this vessel would be crowded and loud. Instead, I moved through the guests, down the stairs, and to a hallway of rooms, in search of some privacy. I tried a few handles before getting to one that was unlocked, then I pushed my way inside and stood in front of a king bed that nearly touched the walls on all sides. I closed the door behind me, sat, and called her through the video app we used on occasion. “Hey.” She had a big grin. The entire video frame was focused on her face. Seeing her again, even virtually, breathed new life into me. “Hey back.” She squinted as if amused. “You’re on a yacht?” “Yes.” I nodded. “And you should know, this yacht is packed with naked women. Yet

I’m here, in a room some might call questionable, for your presentation.” She laughed. “It’s hardly a presentation, but it’s probably better you’re alone for this. I swear they give me everything two sizes too small on purpose.” “Now I really want to see it.” “Hold on.” She wrestled with the phone. It sounded like she was propping it somewhere, then she angled it before stepping back so most of her body was in view. Yup. Instant erection. She wore a yellow crop top that showed not only her flawless stomach but the bottoms of her breasts, too. On her hips, she wore a single scrap of purple fabric that barely covered her. Everything about her, including the innocent look she gave me, was erotic as fuck. I palmed myself through my pants to ease the suffering. “What’s the question again?” She laughed and tossed herself back on her bed. “Is it too small? Do I look okay?” Amelia couldn’t fool me. She knew she

would get me going the moment I saw her. I glared back at her. “That is my new favorite outfit.” She grinned, making my heart beat fast. “Even better than what the girls there are wearing? Or not wearing?” My eyes narrowed on her. “Wait a second. Are you jealous?” She laughed. “I can’t be jealous about someone who isn’t even mine.” “I’m jealous of any guy who comes near you, so I think it’s allowed.” “Yeah,” she said with a small smile, and in that moment, I could tell something was wrong. “But you don’t have to see me plastered all over social media with them.” “What are you talking about?” My chest grew hot just thinking about all the shit I had to scroll through on social media. Amelia was as clueless about her looks and popularity as ever. “I follow three hashtags on Instagram. You know what they are? Hashtag Amelia Clark, with an A, not an E like that queen of

dragons from Game of Thrones. Hashtag Lions Dance Team. And Hashtag LA Lions. All of which have plenty of pictures of you, posted by men, with men. The season hasn’t started yet, and I already have competition.” Her smile, which she’d been trying to keep, faded. “That’s where you’re wrong, Tobias. There is no competition when it comes to you.” I swallowed, again having to battle negative thoughts. I’d been so optimistic when I’d left Malibu. There was no one else for me, and I was still convinced that was true. But how could it possibly work? I missed her so fucking much. So much that I’d closed myself off in a room on a yacht during an NBA party, and for what? To jerk off to my dream girl, who I might possibly never touch again? A slight shake of the vessel brought me back to reality like a swift slap in the face. I cursed under my breath, catching Amelia’s eyes as they widened. “I need to go find Trinity before she gets herself into trouble.”

Amelia nodded, but I didn’t miss the disappointment that crossed her features before we said goodbye and hung up. I’d have to deal with my feelings for her later. Clearly, she’d been worried, too, to say the things she had. But what were our options? Our only hope was that I would one day get contracted to play for the Lions. Then we could be in the same city again. And that wasn’t a possibility right now. I sighed and walked down the hall, past the dance floor and to the bar, my worry radar kicking in. Trinity had left to grab another drink nearly an hour ago. She probably stayed near the bar. We had just approached land. Trinity and I would be the first ones off this damn boat—when I found her. I started on the floor I was on, scouring every dark corner, expecting to see her curled up and puking somewhere. After coming up empty, I worked my way downstairs, which looked a lot like the floor I’d just come from. I stopped one of my teammates in his tracks.

“Have you seen my sister?” Patrick shook his head, but the girl he had his arm around lifted her brow. “Have you seen my sister?” The girl couldn’t have been older than eighteen. She nodded, filling me with relief. “The blonde with the blue dress, right? We were doing shots a few minutes ago. And then she walked off with Detrick.” Fury must have been written all over my face, because the moment I started to move, Patrick put his palm on my chest. “Dude. They’re grown ass adults. Let them do their thing.” I shoved against him, forcing his hands off me. “She’s my sister. You and I both know she shouldn’t be messing around with Detrick.” “Whoa,” said a voice behind me. I swiveled to find Detrick standing there, my sister under his arm and a grin on his face. “Why not?” Is this guy for real? “Don’t you have a wife at home?” Detrick chuckled. “Why? You interested?”

All the rumors were true. The guy was a creep. “Gross,” Trinity said, jerking away from him. “You have a wife?” She backed up again. “I’m out of here.” She didn’t wait for anyone to respond before she took off for the stairs. I jogged after her, finally catching her hand once we got to the dock. She whipped around and yanked her hand from me. She shot me a glare. “Do you know how embarrassing that was? You’re my brother, not my bodyguard.” I couldn’t believe what she was saying. “Really? You’re going to accuse me of being overprotective after you threatened your best friend to stay away from me? After cutting all ties with her? That’s a little bit shitty, don’t you think?” She crossed her arms. “What’s shitty is the fact that you’re taking her side. She lied to me. She was my best friend, and she was sneaking around with my big brother behind my back.” “I lied to you, too! Yet you’re here. At this

party. Hanging out with Detrick, when I specifically told you to stay away from these guys.” She huffed and blew out a breath into the night air. “It’s different. Detrick hasn’t been your lifelong best friend.” “You’re right. I would never be friends with someone like him. But Amelia? She’s good. And she only had the best of intentions when it came to you. Why can’t you just let it go?” “Because you confided in her when I’d been trying to get you to talk to me for over a year. I’m your sister.” “I didn’t know how to talk to anyone.” “But you talked to her!” I slapped a hand to my neck and squeezed it like it was a stress ball. “I don’t know what to tell you. Things just … happened. They felt natural. We didn’t mean for you to get so upset over what we have.” Her lip quivered, and there was a gloss over her eyes that I feared would turn into tears. “Have?” When I didn’t respond right away,

Trinity’s eyes grew wide. “Please tell me you aren’t still into her. It could never work. Not with you here and with her in LA.” “Let’s just go.” I’d already been having doubts, and it wasn’t helping that Trinity’s thoughts were feeding into my own. She shook her head, stomping her foot like a child. “No. We’ve been avoiding this conversation for long enough. What is it about her? What are you hanging on to?” Heat rapidly formed in my chest, spinning like a whirlpool and triggering my words. “I love her.” My answer slipped past my throat so quickly, I didn’t even stop to think about how Trinity would react. It wasn’t the first time I’d thought about the depth of my feelings for Amelia. But it was the first time I’d said those words aloud. Trinity’s expression transformed from anger to disgust to amusement in a range of emotion that felt like a kick to my stubborn heart. “You’re a fool, Tobias James.” The pool in my chest was still swirling,

generating more heat as Trinity spoke. “And you’re drunk.” “I am not drunk,” she spat. But as she swayed and used the rail of the dock to hold herself up, it was clear she had no clue of the state she was in. I reached for her hand. “Let’s go. I’m taking you back to your dorm.” She followed for a solid minute without a word. At first, I thought our conversation might end without any permanent damage. Because when Trinity got mad, she usually made sure to scar her opponent. My entire body cringed when she started to speak up again. We were waiting to cross the street to get to my truck when she let go of my hand and faced me. “She’s going to hurt you.” Something in her tone made my heart stop midbeat. My heart believed what she was saying was true. “Her dreams have always come first, above everything and everyone. She’ll never put you first the way I know you would with her. And

you’re going to learn it the hard way.” Then Trinity walked off, past me and across the street, where she climbed into the first cab she saw. I let her leave, my heart too muddled with confusion and denial to ask her to stay. I didn’t want to return to the darkness. To that deep hole in my chest I tucked into when the world around me felt like it was crumbling to pieces. But I could feel it coming like a dark cloud drawing closer. And I knew … it wasn’t just a warning. It was inevitable.

CHAPTER 12 Amelia Two Months Later I never thought I would become a victim of my own dream. Not until the nightmare was staring me in the face. “All right, Lionesses. The list is posted.” My fellow dancers swarmed toward the front of the room to read the list Coach Sparks hung on a bulletin board outside her office. I followed them, quickening my steps in time with my racing heart, praying that this would be the audition that brought me onto that court during a game. I’d put my heart and soul on the floor during today’s audition. No different than every other home game, but this time I felt like it was right. I felt the encouragement in Coach’s smile. My insides flipped at the way the judges’ eyes zeroed in on me. And I hoped this was the moment they

finally took notice. “Oh my God.” Margie squealed and started to jump up and down. “I made it.” Tears burst from her eyes, and I felt the stinging in the backs of mine. Hope sprouted in my chest like wildflowers. Margie making it meant my chances were better than before. I took a step forward. Then Margie’s eyes met mine from across the group of girls, halting my steps. Her expression said it all. Disappointment tugged on her smile, and apology burst through her eyes as she shook her head at me and mouthed, “I’m so sorry.” My heart sank. It was official. Not only had I failed another live game audition, but I was the only one on the team to have never gotten picked. When I was thirteen, dancing on the sidelines of our neighborhood basketball court, learning the ins and outs of the game and fantasizing about becoming an NBA dancer, no one told me my talent was only a

fraction of what the Lions were looking for. They wanted the looks, the personality, and the talent—a package wrapped in glittering gold, but that gold came with a hefty price tag. It was two months into the season. I’d attended every practice, followed my training regimen to a T, and still hadn’t made it through a single audition on game day. All work. No payoff. And I knew Fiona would continue to crawl into Coach Sparks’s ear to keep me off that court. I’d had enough and cornered Coach Sparks in her office after yet another failed audition. “You’re almost there,” she said with genuine encouragement. “Almost there?” I exploded. “I’ve done everything you’ve asked me to do. What are you looking for? Because it doesn’t seem like you’re looking for talent like mine.” Coach looked flustered and flabbergasted. “This is what you signed up for.” “I never signed up for this. I signed up to dance and cheer for my favorite team.

Everything I’ve ever done has led to me getting this shot. And here it is.” I threw my arms out to my sides. “I’m here, putting in the hours like everyone else, yet I’m the only one you haven’t put on that court. Why am I even here?” She sighed, and from the way her eyes were darting around the room, I knew she wanted to end the conversation quickly. Coach Sparks wasn’t great with confrontation, so I could see why Fiona was attached to her hip. “I get why you’re upset.” Her voice was quiet as she nodded. “I truly do, but you’re almost there. Keep working hard. It will pay off.” “I’m already working hard. Every damn day.” “Then your body isn’t changing fast enough.” Hot tears burned the backs of my eyes. “Maybe that’s because my body isn’t meant to change, Coach.” I slapped my hips as if to make a point. “This is me. All five foot two, hundred and twenty-five pounds, and twenty

percent body fat of me. Take it or leave it.” She stood from behind her desk and shook her head. “I’m sorry, Amie. The decision has been made. I’ll talk to the nutritionist and trainer about your concerns and see if there’s an alternate plan to get you to where you need to be. That’s all I can do.” With a cold nod, she signaled the end to our conversation and breezed past me and into the locker room. “I want you girls suited up and out on that court in five minutes. If you’re late, don’t even bother walking out that door.” There was an edge to her voice that I knew existed because of me. “She’s doing you a favor,” Fiona said as she stood in the doorframe. I hadn’t even seen her standing there, but she’d been eavesdropping, clearly. I’d learned not to be surprised by such things. “A favor?” I challenged her with a raise of my brow. Not because I wanted to hear what bitchy comment she had in store but because I was ready to take her on with a judo chop to her

throat if she dared to test me again. I stepped forward, making sure I was within earshot of her response, but she was cut off by Margie, who nudged her forward. “Cut it out, Fi. Amie deserves to be out there just as much as everyone else. And she will be out there soon.” I swallowed as Margie kept walking, her palm pressing Fiona forward with her. As much as I loved that my friend had quickly taken game spots, my heart was breaking a little bit, too. Why not me? When everyone had left the locker room, I swiped the tear that had managed to squeeze out, and I changed from my uniform. Not ready to leave the arena, I dug around in my purse for my phone and felt a pang in my chest when I saw Tobias’s missed call. My heart beat faster. We hadn’t talked much at all since he’d made the team in Chicago. I was so proud of him, but I was beginning to worry that infrequent conversations would soon turn into us not

talking at all. I’d always known it was a possibility. It wasn’t like we could continue with the “together, but not really” scenario. Our distance was beginning to overshadow our connection, making it so easy for him to get too busy, forget me, or meet someone else. I shuddered. But I wouldn’t be the type of woman who stood in the way of him getting what he wanted. As long as Tobias was happy, I would find a way to move on. “Hey,” he answered, and I smiled through the tears that wouldn’t stop falling. “Hey, sorry I missed you.” “It’s fine.” He sounded like he had been running. “You okay?” I didn’t want Tobias to know the truth, that I’d failed in the eyes of the franchise and couldn’t seem to find my way. That the money was shit, and it was even worse since I wasn’t getting paid for games. That my soul felt crushed, all for having a dream that didn’t accept me for who I was. I couldn’t let him hear my sadness when he’d been so

supportive. This wasn’t the dream I’d signed up for. It was the nightmare I never saw coming. “I’m fine,” I said, the forced smile on my face changing my tone. “Good. Shouldn’t you be on the court practicing for the game?” I cringed at the lie about to fall out of my mouth. “Yeah, I have five minutes to chat.” Guilt clawed at my gut. “Were you just calling to say hi, or—?” “No. I mean yes. But I had a proposition for you.” I smiled at the sound of that. “Shoot.” Maybe this day won’t be so shitty after all. “The Knights play the Lions next month, and I worked it out so I can hang with the team and stay in LA an extra day. I want to see you, Amelia.” He paused before continuing. “I’m sorry for the silence lately. I’ve been dealing with some stuff, but I miss you.” “I miss you, too.” The relief that filled me

almost made my failed audition seem okay. “Spend the day with me?” he asked. I moved my face away from the phone and blew out a hot breath while my eyes burned with more tears. They were barreling down my face, the weight of his words crushing my chest. “Of course.” My response was genuine, but what if I didn’t make it to the court by then? Tobias would find out I had been lying to him this whole time. And that I had no clue what it felt like to dance in front of thousands. Or what the roar of the crowd sounded like from center stage. That was the straw that broke me. My defiance. My ideals. As much as I wanted to believe I was perfect just as I was, my beliefs wouldn’t help me get onto that court. But making some drastic changes to lose the weight, that just might.

CHAPTER 13 Tobias One Month Later It was close to midnight when Otis dropped me off at the condo. My body felt beat down, but my energy was high from such a close game. “You played well tonight.” He was being kind. Tonight’s home game had been a complete bust. We’d trailed our opponents practically the entire time, and I’d been benched for most of it. I didn’t know how I was going to prove myself if I couldn’t even get play time. But Otis assured me that I should just let things play out. My hand was on the door lever when I turned toward him. “We’ve got work ahead of us.” He nodded. “That you do. But you worked well with the opportunities you were given.”

I shrugged and opened the passenger door. “Thanks.” “You’re still heading out with the Knights tomorrow, right?” If anything could have perked up my night, it was that comment. The Knights were letting me shadow the team on an away trip to LA. I was only hours away from seeing Amelia again, and my heart could barely take it. “Yeah. I’ll be back in a few days.” He winked knowingly. “Have fun, take it all in, but—” I raised my palm, stopping him from uttering his favorite saying. “Don’t even ask me to keep it clean this time. I have zero intention to.” Otis chuckled. “Lucky girl, I guess.” I was fairly sure I was the lucky one, but I saved him the cheesy sentiment and winked at him. “Thanks for the ride, Otis.” After he drove away, I took the elevator to the twelfth floor. I moved through the condo, first setting my things in my room then

heading for the kitchen to grab a bottled water from the refrigerator. It was going to be one of those restless nights. I could feel it from the way my adrenaline still soared through my veins from an intense game and from the way my thoughts wouldn’t shut up about all the things I couldn’t control. Trinity, Amelia, the adoption. It was all making me crazy, to the point that I knew I had to do something. I just didn’t know what. Trinity and I hadn’t talked at all after our yacht fight. One day, we would figure our shit out, but now was clearly not the time for sorting out family matters. I had plans to climb the NBA ladder, and she had a shit load of school to go through to get that precious doctoral degree she desired. Going our separate ways would be good for us. As I paced the condo, I tapped through my phone until I got to my recent-call log and found Amelia’s name. “Hey.” She sounded like she was catching her breath. “How was the game? They weren’t

showing it at the gym.” I couldn’t get over how different she’d sounded lately. Every time we’d talked, she was either working out or completely exhausted, nearly falling asleep on the phone. “At the gym again? Weren’t you there this morning? And last night? There’s such a thing as burnout, Amelia.” She let out a breathless laugh. Wherever she was, she was still moving. “Had to get more cardio in today. Weight training was this morning, and then rehearsals.” She pulled in a deep breath. “So, did you win?” I could understand the hours she was putting in. I’d been putting in the long hours, too, but I didn’t think I’d ever sounded so exhausted while training. Like I was trying to go a hundred miles an hour on empty. Deciding I was overthinking whatever was going on with her, I focused on her question. “We lost.” “Oh no.” “It’s okay. I don’t really want to talk about

that. I was just feeling a little … anxious, I guess. Thought maybe hearing your voice would calm me down.” “And did it?” I chuckled. “I should have known better. It’s like I’m back in the game. But this time, it’s that Clark girl, always keeping me on my toes.” “That’s right.” I could hear the smile in her voice, but my gut twisted at the sadness I heard, too. “Everything okay, Birthday Girl?” Silence stretched long enough for worry to creep from my gut to my chest. “I’m fine. I just really need to finish this workout tonight. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” I frowned. Something definitely was off with her, but it was clearly something I needed to figure out in person. She was focused tonight, and I could respect that. “Okay.” I looked at the clock in my living room and smiled. “Less than twenty-four hours. I hope you’re ready for me.”

She laughed. “I guess we’ll see.” There’s my playful girl. “I guess we will.” We ended the call, and I set my phone on the counter just as a knock sounded at the front door. My heart jumped into my throat as I opened the door to find my sister in the hallway. “Hey, Trin.” Her expression was hard as she moved past me, into my condo. “I knew you wouldn’t heed my warning with Amelia.” I closed my eyes as frustration built in my chest. “What the fuck are you talking about?” Trinity straightened her shoulders and lifted her chin. “I came to your game tonight. Mom and dad were there, too. Bet you didn’t even see us.” Rage swirled inside my chest. “Sorry, I was a little busy. What does that have to do with Amelia?” “Otis told me you’re going to LA tomorrow.” I could hear her swallow before she looked like she might cry. “What is it about her? You push everyone else in your life

away but not her.” I slammed my hands on the counter, causing Trinity to flinch. “Because she doesn’t lie to me or try to control my life. She’s the only one.” “But she’ll hurt you.” It was clear from her demeanor that she was reaching for anything she could grasp. She couldn’t touch Amelia. “Did you come here looking for a fight?” She let out a frustrated growl and shook her head. “I’m trying to get through to you, Tobias, because you’re too blind to see what’s right in front of you. I get that you’re upset with me right now, but Mom and dad love you. They miss you. And they were here to support you, and you completely blew them off. Yet, you haven’t seen Amelia in months and you’re flying to LA to see her?” “Yes, I am.” I remained calm even though my insides were heating every time my sister spoke. “Not that it’s any of your business.” Trinity narrowed her eyes at me. “What if she’s seeing someone else?”

I laughed and then rolled my eyes. “If she was dating someone else, then she wouldn’t have agreed to see me tomorrow.” “But—” I didn’t want to hear it. “Just stop with the jealousy act. If you don’t want to be friends with Amelia, then that’s your loss to deal with. Don’t get in my way.” I walked toward the front door and opened it, gesturing for Trinity to follow the direction of my hand. “Tobias.” Trinity stomped her feet, and her eyes welled with tears. “I’m trying so hard with you.” I sighed and dropped my head back before looking at her again. “I know. I see that. But telling me who I should and shouldn’t care about isn’t helping. Why can’t you just be supportive?” Trinity’s jaw went slack and I realized I must have said something wrong. “You don’t think I’ve been supportive? I’ve been more supportive than anyone, including my ex bestie. Amelia hasn’t had to deal with

the burden of your adoption for years while …” Trinity’s eyes widened, and she clapped a hand over her mouth as she realized her slipup. Meanwhile, my throat was as dry as the desert when I tried to swallow. “You’ve been dealing with the burden of my adoption for years?” My insides felt so numb, I wasn’t even sure how I was breathing. “What the fuck?” She dropped her head with a quiet sob, then she looked back up. “Shit. It’s not what you think.” I could practically feel the steam blowing out of my ears as she fumbled over her words. “God, Tobias.” Her palms moved over her eyes as she shook her head. “I was only fifteen. Mom told me I’d lose you if I ever said anything.” She dropped her hands and stared at me with a desperate plea. “I didn’t know it would all blow up like this. I didn’t—” I gestured for the door again, too angry to continue the conversation. “Goodbye, Trinity.”

“Can we talk when you get back to town?” I swallowed but didn’t respond to her question. “You need to go.” She clamped her lips together and gave a tight nod then rushed toward the door and didn’t stop moving until I’d shut it behind her. I wasn’t a heartless man, but I was sick of the manipulation, the lies, the drama. And if I ever forgave her, Trinity would have to learn that I wasn’t hers to play mind games with. And if she wanted to be in my life, then she would have to accept that Amelia came with it.

CHAPTER 14 Amelia “You know the drill, Amelia. Hop on the scale.” Coach Sparks surprised me with one of her pleasant smiles. She could see the hard work I’d been putting in. For the first time since I’d joined the Lions, my body had changed. It was three hours before game time. Three hours before I would see Tobias. My nerves were a wreck. My veins were pulsing with adrenaline. And there was a flip-flopping in my stomach I couldn’t seem to control. “Ten pounds down.” Excitement lit her tone as her lids widened. “I’m impressed. How do you feel?” My smile grew uncomfortably wide. “Great,” I lied. “Good. We’ll see you out on the court for

auditions.” Then she winked. “I have a feeling this will be your lucky day.” When I approached the lockers to change into my uniform, I didn’t know if I believed her. My head felt cloudy, and the flipping in my stomach transitioned to what I could only guess was a hunger pang. Fiona gave me side-eye when she opened her locker beside me. “You okay?” I wasn’t stupid enough to think she cared, but I shook my head, anyway. “I have zero energy. And my stomach hurts like a bitch.” She pressed her lips to one side, reached into her locker, and unzipped her purse. When she pulled out a bottle of pills, I shook my head. “No, thanks.” “They’re just energy pills, but they’ll help with the hunger pangs, too.” She laughed when she saw my cautious expression. “Geez, Amie, they’re harmless. I got them over the counter, and they really help. You don’t know what it’s like out there. We have to keep our energy up for hours, and you don’t want to get

caught mid-yawn while the broadcast is spotlighting you. Trust me.” She thrust her hand out again. Does she even hear what she’s saying? I knew I’d been overdoing it lately to finally make it on the court for a live game. I’d worked too hard to let a few pounds hold me back, but as I looked at Fiona, I wondered how far I was willing to go to get to my dream. She leaned forward again to whisper. “All the girls here take them.” I stared at the pill bottle, wondering if that was true. And if it was, how dangerous could they possibly be? She did say they were overthe-counter. “I don’t know, Fiona.” I stood and opened the door of my locker. She shrugged and stepped back. “Your call. Let me know if you change your mind.” I rolled my eyes at her retreat then shut my locker. When did Fiona decide that I was her buddy to help out in a jam? If anything, our exchange made me that much more cautious from whatever she was offering. Annoyed by

our exchange, I sat back for a second while the rest of the dancers left for the court. The last four weeks had been hell, and I was ashamed. I’d listened to the advice of the nutritionist and my trainer. I had doubled my cardio time. I had drowned myself with water. But once I had started eating smaller portions, it was like I’d stopped having much of an appetite at all. I ate because I knew I was supposed to, not because I felt hungry or craved the foods I once did. And while I started losing the fat around my hips and thighs, I stopped feeling in control of my body. If that was what I’d been putting my body through for a few weeks, then adding pills into the mix sounded dangerous. My thoughts circled my brain as I finished my meal bar then joined the other dancers at center. I already felt better, just from filling my stomach. Everyone was already in position when I got there, so I found a spot in the back row, silently cursing myself for not being the first

one out. I needed to be seen so I wouldn’t be overlooked. But Coach was already gesturing for me to come forward. “Front row, Clark. Swap with Clearwater.” We followed Coach Sparks’s instructions, and Fiona threw me a pinched smile as she passed by. “Let’s see what you’ve got, Clark.” Ignoring her, I settled into my spot and looked around at the nearly empty arena. I took in a breath, letting it fill me with the energy I was missing in the locker room. The meal bar had helped, and now that I’d done what everyone thought it took to finally get some respect on the court, I wasn’t so sure their respect was worth it. I wouldn’t be doing that to my body again. Paula Abdul’s song “Cold Hearted” started playing over the arena’s sound system, effectively drowning out every worry that had filled my conscience. The only thing that mattered was the music that fueled me. The adrenaline already coursing through me doubled its speed as we freestyled through the

first four eight-counts. Then Coach clapped us off. “Let’s go, girls!” she screamed. “Five, six, seven …”

By the time the routine ended, everything from my soul to the tips of my fingers came alive with energy, and I rested in my final pose. The applause from the head table was loud and filled with more excitement than I’d remembered hearing ever before. I could have imagined it, but everything felt different. Like I actually had a chance. “Amie, congratulations.” Coach said my name first, and a collective cheer shot through the dancers behind me. “You just earned yourself a game tonight.” Tears sprang to my eyes, and I flipped around to accept a tackle hug from Margie. Fiona stood back, but that didn’t matter. All that mattered was that I would have my shot

tonight to fulfill a childhood dream. And as a bonus, Tobias would be there to witness it. I exhaled a breath that I felt like I’d been holding for years. “I am so ready for this.”

Pregame rehearsals began immediately after auditions, and they were less a review of choreography and more about the formation work—where dancers were placed, where they would move during transitions. What happened during the game was as simple as following Fiona’s lead as she took cues from the court. “Keep Amie in the front center,” Coach Sparks told Fiona, who had just placed me in the back row after a formation change. Fiona’s head snapped to Coach. “But that’s my spot.” Coach Sparks sighed. “Just do it, Fiona.” Fiona fumed as she gestured for me to come forward. Meanwhile, Lions ball players were

arriving onto the court for shooting practice. “Don’t even look, ladies,” Fiona warned as she zeroed in on me. “Some of you are new to the dance floor, so I’ll just remind you that the boys are off limits.” She took a step in my direction. “Focus on your steps instead.” “Geez,” I muttered under my breath. I hadn’t even been looking at the Lions basketball players. I had been keeping an eye out for the Knights players to blaze onto the court for their practice time, hoping Tobias would be with them. Between game auditions and court rehearsals, I hadn’t had a chance to speak to him all day, but I couldn’t wait. My nerves were on fire at the thought of seeing him again. I was deep in thought and almost missed Coach gesturing to Fiona to lead the crew in running the routine again while she chatted on the sidelines with a few of the executives. “Full out!” she shouted before turning her focus on them.

When the music started, I took my place on the floor and began moving with the rest. “Clark!” Fiona yelled, cutting the music. “We need energy on the court. Let me see it.” She played the music again then cut it almost immediately. “No, no, no, Clark. You’re delaying your steps.” No, I’m not. I knew the dance perfectly. And I never delayed my steps. Fiona was lying, but I didn’t understand why. Not until she called me out on three other false errors, so loudly that Coach Sparks took notice and walked toward Fiona. I watched them whisper, dread seeping through my pores. Swallowing, I sucked in a worried breath and looked around at the other dancers. Some of them were shifting uncomfortably. Others were avoiding eye contact. It was all I could do not to cry. “Amie,” Coach Sparks called out. “A word in my office, please.” Heat scaled my body, and I was sure I was beat red while making the walk of shame to

her office. “Coach,” I said before she could speak. I sat down and leaned forward. “Fiona was lying. I executed that dance perfectly.” Coach Sparks looked defeated as she bowed her head then shook it. “I know you’ve been working hard. I know that you want this. But there’s a delicate balance you seem to be missing here. Yes, I want my dancers to look good, but you can’t go out on that court feeling anything but your very best.” “But—” “Fiona said you had no energy out there. I can't have you missing your steps during game time. I’m sorry, Amie, but I’m retracting my decision, and you’ll no longer be performing tonight.” “What?” Instant heat stabbed at the backs of my eyes, and I felt my chest burn with a pain of a thousand needles. “Coach, no. I deserve this. Just watch me dance. Fiona is lying. That girl has always had it out for me.” “My decision is final. You can try again next time.”

Rage filled my chest as Coach Sparks stood, her eyes still avoiding me as she started to walk away. But I wouldn’t let her avoid me any longer. Not after all the time I’d put in, not only these last few months but in the years of training and hard work that came before this moment. And she was taking it away from me after I’d killed myself to get here. The disappointment was overpowering surging through me was overwhelming, and I wouldn’t put up with it again. “No.” A simple word, but it was one I never thought I would hear myself say. Not with this meaning behind it. “Excuse me?” Coach met my eyes with a squint. I stood and stepped up to her so she couldn’t avoid me again if she tried. “No. I won’t try again. Because I quit.” I moved past her, out of her office, and to my locker. “Consider your words carefully, Amie.” I refused to look at her again. “I have and

I’m done.” “Very well,” she said. “I’ll call for Security to escort you out.” It didn’t take me long to pack my things, but by the time I did, Security was waiting for me. And there it was—the end to a beginning that never started. “See to it that Miss Clark gets to her car okay,” Coach said to the big, burly man at the door. “And make sure to grab her credentials before she goes.” He nodded. A hefty beard masked his face, bringing attention to his cold blue eyes that scrolled over me in a way that shook my insides. “Yes, ma’am.” Without waiting for him to ask for anything, I handed him my keycard and badge and started walking ahead of him, eager to get the hell out of there—a drastic change from the girl who’d walked in with stars in her eyes. The man caught up to me quickly, his strides practically doubling mine. Then he pushed open the door that exited to the

parking garage and waited for me as I tried to remember where I’d parked my car. “What’s the matter, love? You look lost.” I frowned at my new reality. Am I lost? I didn’t think so. For the first time in months, I felt like I was finally heading in the right direction—even if it was away from the dream I’d carried since I was a little girl. I looked to the left, spotting my silver car, then I turned to the man. “You can’t get lost if your destination was bullshit to begin with.” With one final glance over my shoulder, I said a mental goodbye to the arena with a clear, awakening knowledge that I wouldn’t miss it. How could I when my so-called dream was better than the reality? Walking out of that locker room and away from my dream felt far better than it ever had walking on.

CHAPTER 15 Tobias The Staples Center Arena was growing busier by the minute. Not just with players and staff on the court but in the stands, too. The Lions Dance Team was on the court, lined up on the sidelines and on the stairs. They were jumping and crossing their feet while waving their poms in the air as fans filled the arena seats. Everything seemed to be perfectly normal— high energy, loud chatter, players running drills while press made their pregame rounds —except for one glaring problem. Amelia was nowhere to be found. Thanks to the confrontation with Trinity the night before, I hadn’t slept a wink the entire night. My entire body was riddled with exhaustion. The only reason I stepped foot on that damn private plane was to see the only

woman capable of righting my world once again. I pulled out my phone and tried her cell again, but she didn’t pick up. “Hey, James,” Detrick called from the threepoint line. I looked up just in time to catch the ball that was heading toward my face. “Watch it!” I shouted. It was just my luck that the one Knights game I traveled to with the team was one Detrick had gotten a call-up to. Whatever happened to karma? The guy was a dick to everyone, yet millions favored him. There was no question the Knights would offer him a starting contract next year to play for them full-time. But I knew I shouldn’t complain. Detrick and I were both shooting guards for the Windy City Knights, and him leaving the developmental team only meant that I would get more game time. Detrick chuckled. “You gonna be my ball boy or just stand there and look pretty?” “I’m not your ball boy, Malone.”

“James,”

shouted

Coach

Donald,

the

Knights head coach, and I snapped my head in his direction. His brows were furrowed, and his face was red. “You come here for a free vacation or to help out the team?” He nodded to Detrick. “Malone asked you to toss him the ball. I suggest you reconsider your answer.” Shit. I nodded and tossed Detrick the ball. “Will do, Coach.” I sucked it up, all through pregame and into the locker room for suit-ups. I ran Detrick’s errands, passing him towels and fetching him water. But I put my foot down when he asked me to run his number over to a chick. It resulted in him threatening to find my sister once we got back to Chicago, but I somehow managed to ignore him. By the end of the game, I was fired up, not just from dealing with Detrick or from our win but from the fact that Amelia was still nowhere to be found. I charged through the tunnel before the team made their exit, and I headed straight for

the girls’ locker room and pounded on the door. A woman in her late thirties answered, a frown growing on her face. “Wrong locker room?” “I’m looking for one of your dancers. Amelia Clark. Have you seen her?” The woman’s face turned red, and her brows rose. “Young man, I cannot discuss the whereabouts of my girls, but I can assure you that there is no Amelia Clark on this team.” “James!” Coach shouted from behind me. I cringed and turned to see him as he stomped over. “What the hell are you doing?” “Just looking for a friend, Coach.” The woman narrowed her eyes on him. “I believe your players need to take a good look at the rule book. He seems to think he knows one of my dancers.” Coach gripped my neck, pulling me to his chest. “I’ll have a talk with him, ma’am. Sorry for the trouble.” He tugged me back and forced me into the men’s locker room, where

he shoved me against a locker and got under my nose. “I don’t care if Detrick sent you over there to pick up one of his booty calls, you do not—I repeat—do not ever so much as look at a dancer. You hear me? You do, and that’s your fast-track way out of the NBA. Let this be your first and only warning. You’re officially on watch, boy.” He moved away and pointed toward the rest of the guys. “Join your team.”

My thoughts were louder than the storm that raged outside my hotel room window. I’d been pacing for over an hour when the knock came. My heart leapt in time with my legs as I jumped, and I yanked open the door. Despite her swollen red eyes and wet, stringy hair, she was more beautiful than I remembered. She looked much like the drifter I’d become four years ago. Heartbroken. Lost. Confused. But

why? I pulled her into my arms as a tremor swept through me. She felt different in a way that reminded me of the cracked Greek statue on my parents’ porch. It had been through hell, endured all kinds of suffering, yet it still stood strong. Then another thought swept over me. We’d spent months apart, but it wasn’t until this moment that I feared losing her. I felt desperate to rewind time—to when I would sneak through the backdoor of her bedroom, crawl between her sheets, and feel her pressed against me. But we couldn’t go back. “You weren’t there.” My statement was an obvious one, but there were so many questions surrounding it, I didn’t know where to start. She pulled away, slowly lifting her eyes to mine. “I quit.” Those two words. They didn’t feel or sound like something she would ever say. Amelia wasn’t a quitter. She was a dreamer. A fighter. Definitely not a quitter. That was when I noticed that I wasn’t the only one shaking.

“When?” She took in a breath, her eyes widening the more her lungs filled, until she released it and it deflated like the shredded tire I’d once helped her fix. “Today.” I searched her expression, watching as she gave nothing more away. “I haven’t been completely honest with you.” Her words hit me like the thunder that rumbled in the near distance. No. I couldn’t take another person in my life keeping secrets from me. “What are you talking about?” “Being a Lioness was nothing like how I dreamed it would be.” “So you just quit? I don’t get it. We just talked yesterday. And we’ve talked on and off for months. We’ve been doing exactly what we said we would.” Her lips quivered, but when I reached for her, she caught my hand with hers. “Don’t, Tobias. It’s only going to make what I have to say harder.” She released my hand, and I had no choice

but to let it drop, my heart revolting with a hammer to my chest. I didn’t know if I wanted to hear what she had to say. If her attire were a clue, then she had no plans to stay. “Do you want to dry off first? You can borrow something of mine.” “No, just let me get this out. I haven’t wanted to say anything until now because I’ve felt like such a failure.” “I would never think you were a failure.” “But I think I am, and I need to deal with that. This has been my dream for as long as I can remember. I don’t know what else there is.” Everything she was saying—and not saying —reminded me of myself less than a year ago, when I was adrift. That was the best way to describe my state of being for an entire year after finding out about my adoption. “Lost” wasn’t the right word. I knew right where I was, but I questioned everything around me. It was why Big Sur became a home away from home. When I found those adoption papers in

my father’s desk drawer, it was like a ball had dropped in my chest and then into my gut. The weight was so heavy, I couldn’t begin to pull it back up. I imagined Amelia feeling that same way. I swallowed. “Why did you quit?” She shrugged and sniffed. “They weren’t going to let me dance.” Then she growled as if her own words frustrated her. “It sounds so stupid.” “It doesn’t sound stupid at all, but now I really don’t understand. You’re so damn talented. They’d be crazy not to let you dance.” “Well, they didn’t. But it’s fine.” “What?” I wasn’t grasping any of this conversation. “It’s not fine. You don’t even look like you’re fine.” She pinned me with a glare. “Thanks.” My shoulders sagged, and I rubbed the back of my neck. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just—I can tell that you’ve been crying. Obviously quitting the team wasn’t what you really wanted. Maybe it’s not too

late. Can you talk to them?” Her jaw dropped. “Did you even hear what I said? I’ve been on that team for over four months. Training, rehearsing, doing their damn workout plan, journaling all my food so they know every ounce that gets put into my body, but it wasn’t good enough, okay? They don’t want me.” She gave a heavy sigh then opened her eyes on me. “I’ve already accepted that I don’t belong. That’s not why I was crying.” I swallowed. “Okay. Then why were you crying?” It might have just been my imagination, but a flash of fear, maybe regret, washed over her before her lip trembled. “Tobias, I really like you—” “Stop.” My insides ached for her to drop whatever she was starting to say. “But”—she raised her voice—“I need to figure some things out.” My heart kicked in my chest. “And while I do”—she raised her voice

again, causing panic to ripple through me—“I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to continue talking.” “No.” I shook my head. “You’re just upset. We’re Amelia and Tobias, remember? We don’t turn our backs on each other. And I’m not letting you walk away from me.” Her eyes widened like I was the insane one. “You live over two thousand miles away. We never see each other. And you play for the NBA while I—” A ball of heat spun in my chest. “So this is about the NBA.” “No,” she said with a frustrated growl. “It’s not. It’s about distance. It’s about time. Neither of which have ever been on our side. We should end this thing before one of us gets hurt.” “Like now?” I glowered back at her. “Because you’re doing a pretty fucking good job of hurting me right now. I came here for you. To see you. And now you want to end it? We haven’t even gotten started.”

A tear slipped from her eye, and I stepped forward to catch it. She didn’t stop me this time, so I pressed the pad of my thumb to the droplet and swiped it away. Another one came, and I swiped that one, too. I swiped and I swiped until a sob slipped from her throat. Like I was the dam that was supposed to catch her tears, but not even I was strong enough to protect her from breaking. “Amelia.” I said her name softly, with intention, loving the way each syllable rolled from my mouth. It was the most natural thing in the world. Just like loving her. Yet she was always slipping from my grasp. “We can figure this out in the morning.” When she didn’t respond, I cupped her face in my hands and brought my head down to hers. “Stay with me.” It was just a whisper, a plea. And when my mouth fused to hers, she relaxed in my hold, answering with a surrender, a promise. I parted from her lips only long enough to free her from her wet clothes. She undressed

me next, until we were two stripped-down souls, desperate to hold on when the world was trying to tear us apart. My hands found her waist, and I lifted her as she wrapped me with her legs. I drank her rain-glossed lips like the desert drank the sky. Hungrily, and without apology, like we were all the other needed to survive. And as I walked her toward the desk that held my duffel bag, I whispered between kisses the words we’d never dared to say. “I miss you, I love you, I need you, be mine.” Tears continued to spill onto her cheeks. I could taste them on her slippery lips as I set her down and pulled out a condom that was wedged between the clothes in my bag. She watched as I tore the wrapper with my teeth and sheathed myself almost painfully. I’d always hated this part of the process. Shielding myself when I wanted nothing more than to feel her, skin to skin. “Are you okay?” I asked, followed by a nervous swallow. In my nightmares, she

would say no, get dressed, and walk out that door, on whatever mission she’d come here on. But she nodded in response to another loaded question. So I took her at her word and lifted her from the desk, letting her legs wrap around me again. This time, I balanced her with one hand as my other placed myself at her center. Everything felt hot as I pulled her toward me, spreading her open and pushing as far as her body would allow. I moved my arms under her legs and gripped her firm ass as she placed her hands over my shoulders. “I’ve always wanted to take you this way.” I rolled my hips up to hit deep inside her, then I did it again, this time lifting her and pulling her down on me as I thrust. It was better than I remembered. Intense. Confident. There was no question about how well we fit together as I moved her on my cock, hitting her in just the right spot until her orgasm pulsed around my length and coated

me. A second later, my release joined hers. We fell onto the bed, and I wrapped my arms around her, then I softly kissed her cheek. “So, you’ll stay tonight?” She nodded, this time without a hint of hesitation. But it wasn’t the right question. What I should have asked was, “How long?” Because by morning, she was gone.

CHAPTER 16 Amelia “I’ll find my way back to you, Amelia. I’m about to make sure you don’t forget.” I didn’t forget. Not even when Tobias’s NBA dreams started to come true and mine failed to start. Not even when we kept our promise and moved on, letting distance grow between us like an unsightly weed under the glowing summer sun. We kept moving forward. Apart. And time kept ticking on, until I tossed all hope into the ocean’s depths, knowing fully well it would drown there. And it did. That morning I walked out of his hotel room with a damp set of clothes, Tobias’s scent on my skin, and heavy eyes from a full night of crying. Amelia drowned and the woman who surfaced was someone much stronger.

No regrets. That was what I’d told myself every day since walking away from the Lions and Tobias three years ago. Though I’d left with a broken heart and an empty dream, my life became better for it. Turned out the NBA hadn’t been the only opportunity I would ever receive. I’d had many, all of them better. None of them made me turn on myself the way I had under Coach Sparks’s criticism. Simply put, Coach Sparks was the external force needed to thrust me from the fantasy I’d carried for years. None of it was realistic—my dream, Coach Sparks’s expectations, or the way I’d looked at myself in the mirror. And although I’d walked away from the Staples Center with my head held high, I wasn’t magically cured overnight. It took months of work to finally feel right in my skin again—months of positive self-talk, smart eating, dancing, and irreplaceable friendships. Thank goodness for my dance family at Gravity Dance Complex, who welcomed diversity and tossed stereotypes out the door.

Through Gravity, I’d even landed a handful of major dance gigs that earned me a decent income. Life was good. I had success. And Tobias seemed to be doing well, too. At least from what I could see on social media. He was a rising star in the NBA, popular with the ladies and well received by some of the biggest critics. There was no doubt that with his impressive stats, he would become a Hall of Famer one day. And as much as my heart still ached when I thought about him, I was proud of him. “Hey, Amie” came my best friend’s voice from the bottom step of the entrance to Gravity. Her golden-blond hair pulled into a high ponytail, Lex had the door pulled open to her boyfriend’s black Ferrari. It looked like she was taking off for the day. I’d met Lex over a year ago during an audition. We had bonded immediately, and she was the closest thing to sunshine I had ever encountered.

She took a step into the car while shouting, “I’ll be back in a few days. Nachos? Shane already volunteered your place.” Typical Shane. He lived across the hall from me, but he refused to have get togethers inside his condo due to its constant state of chaos. I couldn’t totally blame the guy, though. He kept busy, nailing some of the bigger gigs between the three of us. I laughed. “Sounds good to me. Have fun at the conference.” As I walked into the building to the advanced hip-hop class, I felt the eyes of several newbies as I crossed their line of vision. It hit me then just how far I’d come in my career. In three years, I’d done more than most dancers ever dreamed possible. I’d worked with the best, the worst, and the inbetween. So many of my goals had already been reached, but that didn’t make me better. It did the opposite, in fact. It forced me to work harder to keep up with those who were hungry for everything they hadn’t yet

accomplished. “Welcome, welcome.” Our choreographer, Janelle, walked in. “Find your spots quickly, please. We’ll be starting right on the hour.” She looked at me, and her eyes brightened as she caught my arm. “I need you up front today, Amie.” Her grin widened with an unspoken message. Janelle had started bringing a camera crew to some of her classes a little more than three months ago. She’d given me the heads-up last night, informing me via text message of the song and the clothing color scheme—black, pink, and gray. I knew that if she was reaching out with any information at all, she was planning to feature me on camera. “You got it,” I said, my steps quickening. Three guys dressed in black were near the front mirror. One of them held a camera that was lifted on a boom strapped to his waist, and the other two were fidgeting with lighting equipment in the front of the room. I’d grown used to the sight of the lights and

gadgets, but a rush still soared through me at the start of every class. Janelle was making her dance videos an instant viral sensation. And for the dancers, there was always a different type of electricity when the cameras were added. The energy was close to how it felt to be on a stage, dancing in front of thousands. I ate it up just as much as the others, but it helped to be a Lifer, a term we used for the dancers who had been around since the start of Gravity. We were a family, which meant finding that balance between our own natural competitiveness and supporting others. At times, it was a fine line. “Before we get rolling, I’d like to introduce you all to my co-choreographer for today’s class. Our very own dancing queen from Barbados. Give it up for Zoie McBride.” Janelle stepped back after her intro to clap and cheer with the rest of us. Everyone knew who Zoie was. All around, the mirrors reverberated against the walls, and the floor vibrated under my arches. The studio

literally shook to welcome her. The dance community was smaller than most people thought, especially in the contemporary dance world I lived in. And in that world, Zoie McBride was practically a household name, known for her big and powerful dance style, her running list of Emmy Awards for Outstanding Choreography, and her rapidly growing number of high-profile clients. She was also a well-respected force who believed strongly in speaking out against all forms of discrimination in the dance world. “Thank you for that passionate welcome,” Zoie said, her accent mesmerizing. “You’re going to love what we have for you today.” Zoie winked at Janelle, and they took their spots at the front of the class. Janelle’s eyes floated around the room while cueing for the music. “Alright, let’s get started. Watch first, learn second.”

The routine was pure magic. Hard-hitting and sexy. Exactly my style. But I couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that Zoie was here. Knowing her backstory made me realize that her presence was all the more special. She’d been dancing her entire life, like the lot of us, but it wasn’t until she made her first television appearance five years ago, on a dance reality show, that her career took off like a rocket. Since then, she had been everywhere. Television, movies, award ceremonies, Broadway, music videos, workout videos. The list was endless. Almost the moment I shook myself from my thoughts, my eyes met Janelle’s shining ones in the mirror. My gut instinct told me this was why she’d practically begged me to come to her class today. It wasn’t because of the cameras. She wanted me to meet Zoie. But

why? As soon as class was dismissed, Janelle waved me over to the front of the room, where she stood with my dance idol. I smiled kindly at her, not knowing where to start to express how much of a fan I was. “Amie,” Janelle started as I was still jogging across the room, “I want to introduce you to Zoie. Zoie, this is Amie Clark, from Malibu. She’s been dancing with us since she was a tiny thing.” Zoie was smiling with a softness in her big almond eyes. “What did you think of class today, Amie?” “I think you two should collaborate more often. That was incredible.” “You executed it stunningly,” Zoie said, her accent strong. “I loved seeing you dance in person.” Something about her words made my mind push the replay button. In person? Janelle spoke next, shifting my focus from Zoie to her. “Zoie saw you in some of my

videos. She couldn’t wait to meet the gorgeous brunette she couldn’t take her eyes off of.” I smiled at both of them, waiting for the punch line, but none came. “I’m sorry,” I said with a laugh. “You knew who I was?” Zoie grinned. “You can call me a fan.” “W-Wow,” I returned, trying to hold back how truly stunned I was. “And I’m a fan of yours. Your success and all you’ve done for the dance community over the years is admirable.” I smiled through my nerves, but I knew I was as transparent as the window behind me. “Thank you, dear.” She glanced at Janelle, who nodded back at her, gesturing something only the two of them seemed to understand. “Actually,” she started again, “I’ve been called to LA to take up some business. I’ll be filling a role for the time being, and we’ll be holding tryouts next month. I’d love to see you there, if you’re open to the opportunity.” My eyes grew wide as my thoughts flipped

through the calendar of events in my mind. It was blank. Being between contracts had always been a rough part of dance for me. Not that I needed the money. My contracts kept me on track between jobs, but I missed having work to go to every single day. “Yes.” I rolled to my toes then back down with a light laugh at my ridiculousness. “Of course. What is it for?” “The LA Lions Dance Crew.” My heart dropped instantly to my toes, anchoring me in place from the weight of her words. No. No way. Her eyes settled on me as if she were waiting for a response, while I was having a silent panic attack. She spoke to me as if her words weren’t a stabbing reminder of the death of my childhood dream, the one I buried over three years ago. Not that she would know anything about that. Or maybe she knew everything. I swallowed hard as my pulse ticked in my throat. “No.” I knew my voice was firm, but it

was an instant reaction. “I’m sorry, Zoie. I’m flattered that you considered me, but I just don’t think I’m a great fit for the team.” I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. While dancing for the Lions had been my biggest childhood dream, it had died along with my love for basketball. I swallowed at the memory of the argument I’d had with Coach Sparks that led to me giving up. No regrets, I reminded myself. Zoie frowned before she threw a panicked glance at Janelle, but when her gaze settled back on me, she was her calm, confident self. “My information is limited, but I understand there’s a history there. I want to assure you that I am completely revamping the team. A very limited number will be returning, none of whom were on the team when you were there.” She paused, her expression filling with hope. “Amie, you’re exactly the type of talent I’m looking for. Sharp, versatile, raw, and passionate. You bled on that dance floor today, and I want nothing less for each and

every game night.” Despite my anxiety, I couldn’t deny the growing excitement flitting about my chest as I took in Zoie’s words. My dance idol was asking me to try out for my childhood dream job. “With all due respect, even if I wanted to say yes, I don’t think returning to the team would be possible after the way I left.” Zoie looked to be contemplating what to say next. I just wished she would let it go before we ruined a perfect introduction. “Janelle tells me you had a falling out with the coach from the team previously.” The blast of heat that came with her words engulfed me completely. Falling out with the coach? That made it sound like it wasn’t my choice to walk away. Like I hadn’t been standing up for myself under mental and physical duress. “That doesn’t change my opinion of you now,” Zoie continued. “Consider your slate wiped clean, as they say.” The kind gesture Zoie had made in what

she thought was an effort to clear my conscience didn’t completely register. I was too shocked at what Janelle had told her. Janelle was the only person who knew everything about what happened with the Lions. That was when she truly stepped up as a mentor for me, taking me under her wing before giving me that first push to watch me fly. My feelings hadn’t changed. I wasn’t interested in returning to that court. Ever. Janelle had no right to play matchmaker with the Lions and me. Not with something so deeply personal and life changing. This time, she’d gone too far. I managed to wade past the self-doubt that had surfaced and brought myself back to the moment to process Zoie’s words. I tilted my head and mustered the best smile I could. “Thank you so much. It would be an absolute dream come true to work with you, but I don’t think the NBA is the right place for me anymore.” It never was. I glanced at Janelle,

who was pinching her smile. “And thank you for the recommendation, Janelle. I know you have my best interests at heart.” Her expression crumbled like she knew she’d failed me. “Maybe you and I should have talked about it first.” You think? But I said nothing. Instead, I turned my smile back on Zoie. “Good luck in your search. With you leading the charge, I’m excited to see what team you put together.” Zoie pulled something from her handbag and held it out to me. I took it, recognizing the Lions’ logo and colors, along with audition info that filled the page and a photo of last year’s dance team with Margie and Fiona front and center. “Take this in case you change your mind,” Zoie said, her eyes darting between Janelle and me. “Preliminary tryouts are next week. I’d love to see you there. I do hope you’ll reconsider.” My heart sped at the invitation, not that I needed one. That wasn’t the point. The point

was, Zoie McBride knew I existed and wanted to see me at an audition. After a warm embrace with Janelle, Zoie turned and left. Part of me wanted to follow her out of the room without a word, to show Janelle that she couldn’t force the stars to align. Not in this case. But I had to ask her why. It was just like her to know what was best for everyone else, so I wondered why she would even consider it an option for me to join the Lions again. I’d waited for the studio doors to close behind Zoie. “What. The. Hell.” I was seething through my teeth. I’d barely even glanced at her when she threw up her hands in defense. “Please don’t be upset with me. That was Zoie fucking McBride. She saw you first and approached me before she even knew your story. She wanted to meet you, which is why I begged you to come today.” “You told her I had a falling out with Coach Sparks? That’s not even half of it. Did you tell

her I never got to dance, too?” Janelle’s head tilted as she narrowed her eyes on me. “No, I didn’t. But I’m sure she figured that much out. Trust me, I’m so sorry for how all this went down. When Zoie asked to meet you, I told her you wouldn’t be interested, but then she asked why. I didn’t feel right telling her that you quit since the reason behind it is much more personal and complicated than that. The real story … that’s yours to tell. Please don’t shoot the messenger.” “Ugh,” I growled. “You’re more like the puppet master.” I let my next breath out of my nose. Part of me understood her line of thinking, but it didn’t change the fact that I had just had to tell Zoie McBride no. “This is what I do.” Janelle was still on the defensive. “I keep an eye out for the auditions that fit the right talent. The rest is up to you. If you say no, that’s on you.” “Did you really expect that I would say yes?”

Janelle shrugged. “We haven’t talked about the Lions in a long time. I can’t think for you. And Zoie McBride is nothing like Coach Sparks.” Just hearing her name was a trigger to the darkness that came with my memories. My brows pulled together. “Was she fired?” Janelle bowed her head, telling me she had an idea. “I can’t say for sure, but from what I’ve heard, what happened to you had a ripple effect over the entire crew, and it reached the executive team. It all came to a head last season.” “Wait.” I shook my head, replaying what she’d just said. “No one except Coach Sparks knew why I quit. How could it have had a ripple effect?” The look Janelle gave me next compressed my chest, forcing me to wait a beat before speaking again. “Please tell me you didn’t say anything.” Janelle cringed. “All I did was suggest that they investigate how Coach Sparks was managing that team.” My eyes bulged, and

she held up a hand in defense. “But that was three years ago. I can’t say for sure this is all connected. What I do know is that Zoie was hired to make healthy changes and focus on the values the Lions have always upheld. And I think she’ll do a damn good job. I’ve known Zoie for a long time, and she doesn’t play. She makes it her duty to protect young girls in this industry.” I shuddered. “I’m glad someone will be. Things could have ended a lot worse than they did with me.” “Exactly. And they listen to me since they come to me for choreography and to scout talent. It was worth a shot. So, here we are, and Zoie wants to do something about it. As should you. I thought you might listen to her and consider leading the change.” She stepped closer and rested her hands on my shoulders, her eyes soft. “I know this is asking a lot from you. Don’t for a second forget that I’m on your side. And I promise not to push the subject again, but I think you should

consider this.” “Why?” “You’ve been keeping busy booking gigs the past few years, which is great, but I know all too well the lull that comes with reaching your goals. You’ve done it, babe. You’re a professional dancer. An exceptional one at that. So, now what? Maybe it’s time to set some new goals. Step out of your comfort zone and you just might surprise yourself. This is your second chance.” I took a breath to calm my speedy pulse. “I know you always mean the best, Janelle. Please don’t mistake my defiance for laziness. At the end of the day, the NBA is just not a great place for me.” The last thing I wanted to do was dwell on where I’d gone wrong in my past, especially since making leaps and bounds toward my future. Why couldn’t she just let me move forward? “Like I said, it’s up to you what you do with this opportunity. Just do me one favor and try

to remember why you wanted it in the first place. Because I remember that girl with the fire in her eyes. I’m not saying it’s not still there, but there’s something missing. We both know that. And you have a story to tell. Don’t stifle it.” I hated how well Janelle knew me. Like she could read my thoughts, my dreams, my insecurities. But at the end of the day, I loved her for all the things she made me see in myself, even if the truth was ugly. While she walked away, my feet were still rooted to the floor. The entire conversation triggered memories and feelings I thought I had torched to death by cutting all things basketball out of my life, including a certain someone. In return, the fire burned me, too. These weren’t feelings that would just go away. I would need to work through them and figure out how to bury them yet again. But first, Malibu.

CHAPTER 17 Amelia “I love it, Amelia. Thank you.” My father leaned over in his chair and kissed my cheek. Then he pulled the watch I’d given him out of the box and started fastening it to his wrist. “I’m never taking it off.” I laughed. “Sure, Daddy. I’ll believe that when I see it.” It was my father’s sixtieth birthday, and my mom had thrown him a big bash with all their closest friends and acquaintances. He’d just finished opening his gifts when my mom brought out the bourbon cake, topped with a miniature bottle of whiskey sitting next to a barrel and a stack of cigars. After we sang “Happy Birthday,” shots, along with a slice of cake, were passed around, a sign that everyone was starting to

cut loose. My parents had always been a little wild and had always tried to be more like friends to me than parents. Which was probably why when some kids rebelled against rules, I’d always craved them. I’d never had a curfew and had never received lectures about booze, or drugs, or sex. If it wasn’t for dance and Gravity, who knew where I’d be or what I’d be doing. I refused a shot and excused myself for some air and started walking down the shoreline. Somewhere between my childhood home and the long stretch of beach that I had once called my backyard, a familiar figure came into view. His long lashes flickered down as he blew out a breath. His wide eyes narrowed in the direction of the bare feet he’d shoved deep into the sand. Early age lines wrinkled his tan forehead, and a scowl rested on his face. My heart jolted in my chest as unease churned in my gut. Three years later and the

sight of Tobias James could still knock me off my axis. But as he barked something into the gleaming metal smashed against his ear, my heart raced at the obvious signs of how much he’d changed. He stood in complete juxtaposition to the crystal-blue water, the light breeze blowing in with the shore, and the pink, yellow, and maroon streaks of sun setting across the horizon. He seemed so … out of place. Uncomfortable. Long gone were the days of the boy from next door wading the deep blue, board tucked under his arm, in hopes of catching a gargantuan wave. My gaze traveled the length of his body again, desperate to find traces of the boy I’d once known. I noted his dark hair first. Still the same chocolate-brown locks, only now they were shorter, reaching just above his ears. My eyes slid down to his wide shoulders, stiff beneath an untucked crisp white button-down shirt, sleeves rolled and pushed up over his elbows. Dark slacks stretched around the

defined muscles of his legs. He was bigger than I remembered. Broader, appearing taller than the boy that quickened my heart when I was eighteen and far too naïve for my own good. There was no denying, then or now, that Tobias was the type of gorgeous that belonged in a hybrid edition of Men’s Health and Forbes. When his fingers popped the top button of his collar to expose his thick neck, my eyes tracked the movement, swallowing as I realized how much of a stranger he’d truly become. Emotionally, physically. Still, just one look at him made me swell with feelings I thought I’d drowned years ago. Love. Disappointment. Heartbreak. They all washed over me like water on the shore, sinking into my pores and weighing me down with all the memories. He was a few feet away when he looked up and spotted me. The moment was lightning, illuminating his surprise. His lids widened, revealing a circular sea, endless in its depth,

and for a vulnerable instant, I thought I might have left my anchor there. Without a word to the person on the other end of the line, Tobias tapped the screen to end the call and slipped the phone into his pocket, never taking his eyes off me. I inhaled slowly, taming the emotions expanding my chest. “H-Hey, Tobias.” Guilt assaulted me. Years between us hadn’t uncomplicated our history, and I felt each loose thread like a noose tightening around my heart. Something flashed in his eyes before they glided over the rest of me. I wore a long, paleblue sundress that was made for the wind, and my straight brown hair flowed in loose waves down to my breasts. I’d put on light makeup, knowing I would be spending most of the day outdoors, and I’d gone all out with my attire for my father’s birthday party. I shouldn’t have wanted Tobias to appreciate it, but I did. His Adam’s apple bobbed, and with one dip

of his chin, he nodded. “Amelia.” The rasp in his voice said it all. Acknowledging me hadn’t come easy. His gaze fluttered back to mine, and I hated the way my heart reacted with a kick. Whatever tension flowed between us wasn’t dissolving on its own. And while I couldn’t blame him for the way he stood guarded, I couldn’t go back in time either. “It’s just Amie, now. No one really calls me Amelia in LA.” I swallowed. Is that the best I can do after all this time? “Really?” He pitched a brow, and the heat of his words spread through my body. “I knew LA changed you, but I didn’t know it took your name, too.” I inhaled sharply. “And we’re in Malibu, in case you didn’t notice.” His sarcasm didn’t match my memory of Tobias. Was it all directed at me, or had he truly changed in the time we’d been apart? As much as I hated it, I hoped it was the former.

Three years could do a lot to a person, as I knew firsthand. My eyes fell to his pocket, where he’d slipped his phone. Maybe I’d interrupted something important. Unable to shake the embarrassment and awkwardness from our reunion, I took a step back. “I should let you get back to your call.” “I can call him back.” His words came so quick, my heart sped in response. “Really?” “Really.” He nodded then took a tentative step forward. “It’s not every day you run into the strange birthday girl who forced you to take her away for spring break.” He might still be mad, but his words broke through some of the tension, allowing me to laugh. I pinched my smile, willing to play along if it meant drowning the rest of the tension between us. “Forced? I don’t recall much of a fight.” His head tilted. “Touché.” He doesn’t want me to go. The recognition

brought relief I knew I didn’t deserve. Then another wave of silence passed between us before he sighed. “I’m sorry. I feel like I’m seeing a ghost right now.” I opened my mouth to respond, but the truth was, I didn’t know how. I’d envisioned a reunion just like this more times than I’d deserved, and it always ended in a freezeframe before I could mutter a word. That morning I left him, I’d had so much on my mind. As much as I told myself I’d done the right thing by walking away from the Lions, it didn’t erase the months of emotional abuse that had me questioning my worth. I might have been strong enough to walk away from a bad situation, but I needed time to repair my heart, my soul—and I needed to find a new dream. But while all that time was passing, Tobias had been moving on in Chicago. And it looked like he’d been living his best life from what was posted on social media. It killed me

to see some of the things he did, like showing up at every appearance with a beautiful new piece of arm candy. Each time, I had to own up to the fact that as jealous as I was, I couldn’t have any regrets. We would have never gone out in public like that. We’d never even had a real date. When I didn’t respond, he continued. “I mean, you just disappeared, and then you shut off your phone. I went to Gravity after you left to try to track you down since I didn’t know where you lived. After I got back to Chicago, I stalked social media, trying to get a glimpse of your life, if you were okay. I even called your parents.” My throat felt dry. “You did all of that?” His face twisted like the answer was obvious. “I was worried about you.” “I’m sorry, Tobias. I didn’t mean to make you worry. It all just got so—complicated.” I didn’t even know if that was true. It had all actually been quite simple. I loved Tobias, but I knew I couldn’t hold onto him without

us both suffering for it. His career had taken off while mine needed to be reinvented. His gaze searched mine, like the answers could be found there. Finally, he released a sigh. “Fine. Let’s just start over.” That statement. So many responses pinballed through my mind, most of them out of context for what he was really saying. He wanted a do-over of our reunion, not “us.” It was ridiculous to even consider the former after all this time. “Okay,” I finally said. His eyes swept over me again. “You look great.” My chest warmed. “Thanks.” I pulled out the fabric of the dress on both sides, letting it catch in the wind as I swayed. “I thought it was appropriate for a beach party.” “I’m not talking about the dress. I was referring to you.” The feelings that erupted inside me with his compliment could light a room. “I mean,” he started again, “you were

always beautiful, but now—” He scanned the length of me, his gaze dragging just long enough for my heart to catch in my throat. When his gaze met mine again, it held our past with it. Big and prominent and irreplaceable. “But now what?” My smile faltered as I tried to calm my pulse beating through me. His eyes softened. “You aren’t going to make this easy on me, are you?” “Not one bit.” He nodded, releasing his hand from his pocket. “Okay, well, you should probably return the compliment or something first. You know, for the sake of courtesy and all.” I didn’t waste a second. “You look—” I paused, pretending to find the words I already knew. “Different, but the same.” He tilted his head as he puffed his chest out. “Different? How so?” I folded my arms and narrowed my eyes. “You really want me to tell you how hot you look, don’t you?”

His grin was ridiculously large. “Uh-huh.” I laughed, feeling a tug of nostalgia from this playful side of him. The him who, in our secret world, belonged only to me. Before the fame. Before the NBA snatched him away. Before I ended it all. I lifted my arms in surrender. “You look hot, okay? Clearly, your trainer is keeping up on that workout program, but—” I paused for dramatic measure, tapping my pointer finger to my pursed lips as his expression filled with worry. I reached out and moved my fingers through his hair. “Getting a little long there, James.” My face heated when I said his last name the way the announcers did as they called out each game. “Not doing it for you, Clark?” I shrugged. “It’s okay. But this outfit—” I dropped my hand down to his lapel as I fought the smile tugging the corners of my mouth. His mouth fell open, mocking shock. “What? All women love a man in a suit.”

I pulled my hand back. “Not all women.” “Ah.” He gave me a full-out eye roll. “That’s right. You preferred the basketball shorts and backward cap.” I shrugged. “Do you blame me? I was a fan of easy access.” “Oh, I recall. Quite clearly, in fact. Unfortunately, I can’t get away with that attire when securing a multimillion-dollar contract.” He pointed at his pocket. “That was Aaron Wells, by the way. Looks like the NBA won’t be giving me the boot anytime soon, but this free agent life isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.” I frowned, mostly because I didn’t want to hear that the life he’d chosen wasn’t all he had dreamed of as a boy. Not when his dreams had kick-started mine. But my dreams didn’t come with a happily ever after. Never in my wildest dreams would I wish for Tobias to suffer the same fate. “Now, that’s funny,” I said, trying to steer the topic away from basketball. “If I had that much money, I’d live in my pajamas.”

“No.” He chuckled. “You’d live in those stretchy pants and sports bra things.” “Hardly a difference,” I argued. He shook his head. “Not even close. Push me on this and I’ll drag you into that house and force you to demonstrate. They are definitely not the same.” It was only joking banter, but I couldn’t help the excitement that shot through me at the idea of getting Toby alone in my childhood bedroom again. And I couldn’t help imagining how much he’d changed over the years—in all ways. My eyes found his, curiosity making me impatient. “What are you doing here, anyway?” His lips parted in obvious amusement, clearly finding pleasure in my confusion. “In town, or on this beach?” “Both. You’re a long way from home, Tobias James.” A storm cloud passed over his eyes at my words, and I instantly regretted speaking

them. “This is my home.” He lifted his chin as his jaw hardened. “You’re the one who reminded me of that. But I guess I wouldn’t be surprised if you forgot.” I swallowed, hating the resentment that rose with the next swell of my chest. This hasn’t been your home for a long time. But I couldn’t say those words. I couldn’t start that conversation. I couldn’t go back to where we’d left off. “Never mind,” I said instead. “How’s life treating you?” He followed my lead, his expression relaxed. “Life is good. Really good. In fact, the prospects are everything I’ve been working toward since I left Malibu.” So much for steering clear of basketball. “That’s great.” I gave him a half smile, maybe narrowing my eyes a little too hard. But he didn’t even notice. My breath hitched. I couldn’t ignore the path his eyes were tracing over my face as he spoke, like he was trying to memorize every inch of skin and

maybe even remember the bare parts. I swallowed, focusing on the present. “I’m sure your parents were happy to see you.” “They were.” I couldn’t help examining his short response. I’d hoped he was able to finally forgive his parents for all that went on with his adoption. Not for their sake, but for his. “What about you, Amelia? Are you happy to see me?” Every tease or hint at our past felt like a punch in the gut. Our history was complicated. Late to start, quick to grow, and ending far too fast. But even beneath his raspy words that carried anger and tension, he still cared. “I am.” “I’m going to pretend I believe you.” “It’s true,” I said. I had to give him something. After three years of being forced to live with my decision, he didn’t deserve my coldness now. “I’ve thought about you. Hoped you were happy.”

“Took some acclimating, but … I think I’m happy now.” “Good.” I batted away the range of emotions, mostly shame, that gathered in my chest. Memories on top of memories, each one as vibrant as when we lived it. I closed my eyes before popping them open again with confirmation. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t pretend that what we’d shared was simply casual. Tobias and I might have been young, but we were everything. I took a step backward. “I need to get back to the party. I just stepped out for some air and …” The words died on my tongue as he opened his mouth to speak. Then he closed it again, then his forehead creased in frustration, and he took a step forward. “Amelia—” “Let’s not,” I said, cutting him off. “Let’s not make this harder than it’s already been.” I smiled at him as my heart swelled in my chest. “It really was good to see you again.” He didn’t stop me as I slowly backed away,

knowing the moment I turned would be the last I ever saw him. This time, I would make sure of it. I’d never realized the power time held over us—what time could do to certainty. How fact could become fiction with one misstep. And how a strong, blossoming love could quickly wilt when neglected. But that was us. Tobias James was still the boy from my past, my first love, and my first heartbreak. Unfortunately, the reason for that heartbreak would remain unchanged forever. The only thing I was certain of now was our distance, in every definition of the word. Yet as our eyes connected, I couldn’t help wanting to believe in something we’d yet to understand. Once upon a time, I’d looked into those same eyes and saw my past, my present, and my future. I was certain every sacred dream would come to fruition when the time was right, but we were young … and life had other plans for us.

CHAPTER 18 Tobias I’d been dreaming of that moment for three years, of finally confronting the woman who’d ghosted me without further explanation. She’d just vanished from my life like she’d never existed at all. Except in my dreams, I hadn’t watched her walk away again. In my dreams, I’d asked her why. It was something I’d clearly failed to do in our few minutes together. Seeing her again wasn’t enough. Not when everything about her set off a familiar cadence in my chest. One that filled my lungs with a deep, relaxing breath after struggling for air for so long. She carried herself like a woman now. Confident. Strong. She wore her dress like one, too. The breeze blew, catching the light-

blue fabric between her legs and giving me a glimpse of what she carried beneath it. But it wasn’t the body beneath the dress I wanted to see. First, I wanted her thoughts and fears. The conquest had felt so easy three years ago when she belonged to me. Amelia had always been unapologetically vulnerable toward me, wearing her heart on her sleeve, emotion in her eyes and lust for me on her tongue. I hated that she felt the need to shield any of that from me today. My eyes stayed on the vision in blue until she disappeared behind the hedge that bordered her back patio, separating it from the beach. It was the same back patio I had often snuck into in the middle of the night, stealing whatever time I could with her. We’d gotten good at lying—to others, to each other, to ourselves. As much as we told ourselves we were temporary, we were anything but. We had known it would only be a matter of moments until distance drove us apart. I wouldn’t let that happen again.

I snatched the phone from my pocket and hit Aaron’s name to redial him. As I waited for him to pick up, I made my way to my parents’ driveway, where a black SUV had appeared, ready to take me to the airport. That was how things happened now that Otis and Aaron shared the role of my sports manager. Schedules were made, deals got finalized, cars were ready to go, and flights got booked. All I had to do was show up. Aaron started talking as soon as he picked up. “I know you don’t believe you’re too hotshot now to tell me goodbye before you hang up the damn phone.” Chuckling, I slipped into the back seat and knocked fists with Otis, who was busy tapping away on his phone. “Where were we again? Ah, that’s right. You were about to call it in and accept the offer.” There was a split second of silence before Aaron cleared his throat. “You have multiple offers.”

I ground my teeth. I was dealing with a master manipulator who had a very different opinion on where to take my career. “I didn’t ask about multiple. I asked about one.” He sighed, clearly wanting me to feel his disapproval. Mission accomplished, but I didn’t give a damn. “Do we need to go over the numbers again, Toby? You’ve got options. Goddamn great options, if you ask me. This isn’t a smart move.” “Yeah, well. I’m not asking you this time. I’ve already made up my mind. What’s the offer?” Aaron paused a moment before saying, “Three point five, by far your lowest offer. Compared to the Knicks’ offer of seven mil, you’d be crazy to take it.” “Call me crazy.” Aaron blew out a heavy breath. “We can work out some endorsements to make the numbers work. It’ll all even out in the end.”

“Geez, man. At least let me toy with them a little—get you something more promising. You’ve got three years in this. Now is not the time to settle.” My eyes flickered to Otis, who’d turned his attention to my conversation with a lift of his brow. Aaron wasn’t a quiet guy, so I knew Otis could hear everything. But dude had my back. More than anyone, he understood my reasons were beyond the numbers, beyond the game. This time, they were personal. “I don’t want to risk it.” There was a pound of something on the end of the line. “Damn it, Toby. Why are you selling yourself short?” It took everything not to unleash on him. I kept the guy around for a reason, and while he was exactly the type of bulldog any player would want in his corner, our visions were of two different worlds. Aaron Wells poured the juice, and I gulped it down with camel-sized ambition. Not this time.

“I’m not selling myself short. I want to take the deal, but I won’t force you to represent me.” The line went quiet while Otis silently laughed from the seat diagonal from me. I knew Aaron wouldn’t argue further, even while cursing under his breath. This had always been the plan. Maybe the chips hadn’t fallen exactly as I’d hoped, but it was the first nudge in the right direction I’d received, and I was taking it. I wasn’t going to let dollar signs stand in my way. “Fine. Call you when everything is squared away.” We hung up, and I reached for the glass of champagne Otis had poured. The guy lived for the luxuries, though I wasn’t sure he knew of much else. We had gotten close over the years, so I’d heard all the stories, from the women, to the on-off court politics, to the perks and the expectations that came along with them. But his shared experiences always came with a warning to “keep it clean,” like

maybe he’d learned some tough lessons during his all-star years. “I didn’t pick you up too early, did I?” “Nah.” There was another silence as I zoned out with thoughts swirling, recapping the past hour. “Everything good with your parents?” Otis shot a parting look at my parents’ home as we drove away. I leaned back, closing my eyes and relaxing my shoulders against the leather. “As good as can be. I came, I saw, I conquered.” Otis laughed, and I squinted with one eye to sneak a glance. “What? Is that awful of me?” He shrugged. “I don’t think so.” Silence filled the air for a few minutes while my thoughts churned. My visit with my parents had been typical. Short and sweet but also just another reminder of how distant I’d grown from them since I’d learned about the adoption. Sure, they still called me frequently,

and flew to attend as many home and away games as possible. But the lie they’d kept from me for nineteen years was always there in the back of my mind. Maybe things would be different if they’d expressed a smidgen of guilt for their lies, but they maintained their reasons for lying were more important than my feelings. Which proved to me that it was, and always had been, about appearances. So be it. Funny enough, it was their agreeing to meeting with Aaron Wells during a family trip to New York that had finally set my dreams in motion. But while it might have been my parents’ best effort in “winning me back,” they’d missed the point completely, and my leaving Malibu drove an even bigger wedge between us. My fight with Trinity had only severed it further. Though they all still showed up for games and shared images of me on social media like nothing at all was wrong, our family was broken. I adjusted in my seat and shot a glance at

Otis. “Do you ever feel like there are people in your life who have been there for so damn long and you can’t even remember why? A little time away, and your perspective changes. You realize the weight their presence puts on you, but you have a choice to endure it or let it go.” Otis widened his eyes, his amusement playing on his lips. “Is this where you tell me I’m fired?” I waved a hand in the air, shooing away his comment. “Nah. I’m saying, the busier I get, the less patience I have for all the bullshit.” “That’s the life of being a pro.” He shrugged and turned his head to look out the window. “You’re living the dream, and with that comes a number of consequences. Your priorities shift. There’s only room on your plate for so much. I’d say after everything you’ve been through, keeping certain relationships at bay becomes survival.” “What if my priorities are wrong?” Otis turned his head back to look at me.

“They aren’t.” He sounded so confident, it threw me. I’d spent years beating myself up over the choices I’d made, and now I was just coping. “How are you so sure about that?” “You’ll make many decisions in your life. They’re only wrong if you’re not learning from every choice you make, good and bad. Everything you do should be carving a path to your future.” He shrugged. “From my seat, you’ve been carving that path since long before I met you. Now isn’t the time for any detours.” The man always had words of wisdom that helped change my perspective. Sometimes that was all it took, a different point of view, to realize how far I’d come versus how far I had yet to go. Otis slapped a hand on my shoulder and squeezed. “Other than that, you sure everything is good?” He glanced back at my parents’ house, and I knew he wanted to ask me who I was with on that beach.

I nodded against my swallow, trusting his words. Then I smiled. “It will be.”

CHAPTER 19 Amelia “You have to go for it.” “No, I don’t. That ship sailed years ago, Shane.” The door to my condo’s bathroom swung open, revealing Lex. “What ship is that?” I held up my hands, trying to swipe the conversation from going any further, but Shane was too stubborn to allow that. “The Lions dance team auditions. Amie just told me that Janelle introduced her to Zoie fucking McBride, who personally invited her to try out.” “Why does everyone say her name like that?” I rolled my eyes as Lex stared between us in obvious bewilderment. Shane whipped the flyer Zoie had handed me off the kitchen counter and waved it in the

air while throwing a look at Lex. “I found this in the trash. Our girl is not even going to consider it.” Lex’s frowned as she reached for the flyer, her eyes already reading. “Why would she? Amie’s already been on the team. But—wait a second.” Lex raised a palm. “Why would Zoie personally invite you to try out for the Lions? She doesn’t work for the NBA. And she lives in Miami. Theo was just with her last month, co-teaching a class.” “She’s the new ‘head coach,’” Shane said, making air quotes. “I don’t think it’s permanent, but it’s a true story. Wayne knows someone who was on the team two years ago and confirms Amie’s sentiments that the old coach was a massive bitch. I’m sure the NBA caught wind of how she was running her ship and gave her the boot. They don’t need that kind of negative PR.” Shane’s knowledge made my insides squirm. I’d given my friends limited information about my experience with the

Lions since I’d only ever wanted to move past it. “Wow, you and your conspiracy theories.” I looked away, not wanting to let on how close he probably was to the truth. “It’s possible is all I’m saying.” I was hoping they would drop the topic, but the look on Lex’s face told me otherwise. “You are looking for work. If Coach Sparks is gone, what would it hurt to try out? You once told me that being an NBA dancer was your biggest dream growing up.” “Was being the key word there.” I shrugged. “Dreams change.” Lex and Shane looked at each other like they could read each other’s minds. They probably could. The two had been friends since grade school and were practically attached at the hip. They still would be if Lex hadn’t snagged herself a man. “Dreams don’t change,” Shane said. “People change.” I set my jaw, too stubborn to think about

what he was digging at. “I don’t really see the difference.” Lex cringed with amusement in her eyes. “Be careful. I can’t remember the last time I won an argument with this one over here.” She raised her brows. “You realize you’re probably far more trained than anyone else entering that audition, right? You’re the type of dancer they’d kill to have. The type of dancer young girls dream of working with.” I drew my head back. “You’re making me feel old.” She laughed. “I’m sorry. That’s not what I meant. I’m just saying your chances are better than ever. And if you don’t make it, who cares. You’ll make more money hopping on the next tour bus than you would dancing for the NBA, anyway.” “Don’t I know it.” Lex tossed me a look as she pushed up her sleeves in preparation for slicing the cheese for our nachos. “Yeah, but we both know this isn’t about money.”

I pouted and realized it wasn’t fair to keep secrets from my best friends. We’d always been honest with each other. If I couldn’t be myself with the people I chose to surround myself with, then I wasn’t being real. And I’d made a promise to never allow myself to be anything other than who I was— unapologetically. “You’re right. The pay is shit, but it’s not just that. The hours are long, the workouts are grueling, and their standards for who gets to actually go out there and perform are one hundred percent superficial.” I shook my head, feeling my body heat rise with anger. “That’s why I quit the team before I ever got a chance to dance on a game night.” “What?” Lex practically shrieked. “You never told us that you quit. Why?” I cringed, because the reality of what I had considered doing to my body for the sake of my dream felt ridiculous now. How easily I mistook the dream for reality. Because when the pros said I wasn’t good enough, and when

my fate, as I knew it, felt like it was in their hands, it was hard not to listen. “It’s a long story.” I looked between my friends, who were waiting for me to speak, their eyes wide and encouraging. “And I’m not really proud of myself.” Lex set down the knife and dragged me over to the island stools and sat, then patted the seat beside her. “Sit. Talk.” I swallowed, the words building in my throat while my mind pushed them back down. I had been suffocating on the truth for three years. And I knew without a doubt that I could trust my friends to keep my story between us. So, I told Lex and Shane every ugly detail of my experience with the Lions, leaving out the bits and pieces that Tobias was woven into. Even after all this time, the memories of how it all went down squeezed my chest. “They’re idiots, Amie. You’re a brilliant dancer, and you’re drop-dead gorgeous. But are you serious about that Fiona chick?” Lex

asked. “And Coach Sparks just trusted her?” I nodded. “Yup. I don’t know what Fiona had against me, but it was like she was targeting me from the beginning.” “She was jealous.” Shane didn’t miss a beat. “Clearly. She probably had to stuff her shorts to give her a booty. And here yours was all au natural. Bitch be hatin’.” Lex chuckled then took my hand and squeezed it. “Ignore him. No wonder you don’t want to try out again. I don’t blame you at all. I can’t believe Janelle put you on the spot like that when she knows about your history with the Lions.” I took a breath before squeezing my eyes together and releasing them. “Janelle’s intentions were good. She explained that the Lions are calling for change with Zoie at the helm. Janelle thought I could help. And honestly, the idea becomes more intriguing every day.” “Well, ignore her. You’re better off without the Lions.”

The room went silent save for the hum of the AC switching on. Then Shane leaned on the counter across from us. “What if you don’t ignore her?” “Huh?” Lex and I asked simultaneously. “What if you go to that audition and take back what they stole from you? The way I see it, this is your chance for redemption. They clearly want you, which gives you leverage to make them play by your rules, not the other way around. And think about it. If that’s your story, after your experience of just a few months, imagine what other girls are going through. Maybe this is your chance to stick up for not only yourself but all those who follow, too.” His words hit me hard. I’d been consumed by my own failures, and I’d never stopped to think about others until recently. Lex’s eyes ticked to mine and I knew Shane’s words had gotten to her, too. “Amie …” I cringed at the words I knew were about to

come out of her mouth. But when my friend felt compelled to say something, she didn’t hold back. “Maybe Shane and Janelle are on to something. Things will be different now that Fiona is off the team and Zoie is the coach. Don’t you want to be part of that? Don’t you want a second chance at your dream?” Shane and Lex’s words circled through me, haunting me with their temptation. Since leaving the NBA, I’d danced on dozens of stages and appeared on camera more times than I could keep track of, but something about the idea of putting my heart back on that court excited me just as much. With Coach Sparks and Fiona gone, I couldn’t help entertaining the possibility of what it would be like to finally dance during a live game. Maybe it was finally time to close the door to the pain of all that I lost that year and take back my dreams. Maybe it was finally time to let go.

“Okay.” Lex looked between us with cautious eyes. Too much silence had passed, and I knew she was worried about breaking tradition. Typically, our get-togethers were filled with laughter and carb loading. “For the sake of what tonight is all about, maybe we should just change the subject.” Shane and I agreed with a nod, but I couldn’t forget his words. Lex leaned in and hugged me. I swore we had learned more about each other in one year than Trinity and I had in our entire friendship. “Thanks for the invite, by the way. I love it here. The bungalow vibe is perfect for you.” She looked at Shane and winked, then dropped her hold on me. “For you both. But why didn’t you just get a two-bedroom to share? You could have saved so much money.” Shane rolled his eyes. “Says the girl who abandoned me for her boyfriend and his mansion.” Lex let out an annoyed groan. “Ugh, never

mind. I shouldn’t have said anything.” She nodded to Shane, who was taking another pull from his beer. “I’ve heard nothing but guilt trips from this boy since I moved out.” He pursed his lips and held his bottle to the side of his face. “Girl, you know I ain’t mad about you and Theo. I’m just playing. Even though you did leave me roommateless last year. Besides, Amie and I already talked about moving in together. After many drunken discussions and one sleepover where I may have brought a boy home, we agreed the walls are too thin to share.” Lex’s mouth opened. “Are you seeing someone?” He crinkled his face. “Of course not. It was just a hookup. And I was heavily intoxicated.” “And who was this hookup with?” Lex asked, her eyes narrowed with accusation. Shane shrugged, conveniently avoiding her eyes and taking the longest sip of beer I’d ever seen. “Speaking of being heavily intoxicated,” I

cut in, raising a brow as Shane brought his beer down and burped. “Going a little hard on the alcohol tonight, don’t you think? You’re too young to start trading that six-pack on your stomach for the one in that case.” He flipped me off and opened the fridge door. “I’m in between tours. I’m allowed to indulge a little.” “What about you, Amie?” Lex said. “You still seeing that Ben guy?” Guilt wound its way through me when my thoughts turned to Tobias instead of the man who should have made my heart go pitterpatter. As much as I would have loved to jump in and tell her how awesome my dating life was, I felt hesitant. Probably because Ben had been the closest thing I’d had to a boyfriend since Tobias. “Yup,” I finally said. “I mean, it’s been pretty casual, but I like him.” Her eyes widened, and a smile bloomed on her face. “I’d love to meet him. We should double.”

“Hey,” Shane whined with his brows bent together. Her head snapped to face him. “I meant triple.” When Lex gave him a wink, he puckered his lips at her. “Thanks, babe. I’m sure I could scrounge up a date by then.” Lex laughed and turned to me again. “Tell me about him.” In the few times I’d seen her since Ben and I had started dating, I’d kept the details of our relationship vague. My reasons were good. In the beginning, I would turn down every date he asked for. Eventually, his persistence and patience won. And after our first date, it became harder to find reasons why I should say no. My cheeks heated. “He’s nice. Has his priorities straight.” “What are his priorities, and where do you fit in?” Lex’s interrogation was making me squirm. “I don’t know. He likes me, and he has a

good job—” Shane cleared his throat. “He does more than have a good job. Tell Lex where he works.” I could have strangled him. “He works security.” “For who?” Shane pressed. I shot him a glare before sighing. “The Staples Center.” Lex squinted. “As in, where the Lions play? And you’re okay with this?” I should have known that question was coming next. “He didn’t tell me where his job was located when we started dating. I guess he’s been burned by chicks in the past who just use him for free event tickets. By the time he told me, it felt silly to turn him down because of where he worked. I wasn’t about to give the Lions power over my dating life, too.” Shane tilted his head with a grin. “See. Now you have another reason you should audition for the Lions. You and Ben could start up a hot off-the-court romance. Pull a Lex and Theo

and fuck all the rules. Literally.” “Oh my God.” Lex threw her arm out and smacked him hard in the chest. “Literally made no sense there.” “Sounded good, though.” Shane popped a chip into his mouth and grinned. I groaned. “Except, Ben doesn’t work on the court, so that would be pointless.” I rolled my eyes. “He works in security. Hardly the scandalous story line you were hoping for.” Shane snorted. “So, in less fancy terms, he’s the dreamier version of Paul Blart: Mall Cop.” I swiped a hand towel from the counter and chucked it at him. He caught it with a laugh. “What? I’m just saying, dude still works where the action is. Just think of all the perks we’d get. Free game and concert tickets, locker room tours …” As Shane drifted off into la-la land, I reached for my phone to scroll through my messages while I walked to the couch. I hated that my mind flitted to Tobias while talking about Ben. But I knew it was all this talk about

trying out for the Lions. I’d already decided that seeing Tobias again had given me enough closure for me to carry on with my life. He was doing well. I was doing well. And this time, I refused to let the weight of our past drown a new relationship. Ben was charming and sensitive. And above all else, he had the one thing I’d always wanted and feared at the same time—stability. He was grounded and successful, and he knew what he wanted in life. It was refreshing. I kept telling myself it was only a matter of time before those pesky butterflies started racing around my chest when I was with him. It was a feeling I longed for after a hideously long dry spell. A sigh slipped from my throat before I could catch it. “What was that for?” Lex asked with a laugh. I hadn’t even realized she’d sat beside me. Reality slapped me hard in the face, leaving guilt in its wake. Would I be having this same

battle in my head if I hadn’t just run into Tobias? “Amie’s still hung up on her ex,” Shane called from the kitchen. I am going to kill him. I shot him a glare as he walked over to us and set a plate of nachos on the coffee table before plopping down next to Lex. After I’d come home from Malibu, we went out for a drink, and I’d told him everything. From seeing Tobias again to our spring fling that we’d kept from his sister and carried on for far too long. But I purposely left out how or why it all ended … just that it had. “Okay, I’m feeling left out.” Lex’s head whipped between us. I shook my head and faced the window, but I wouldn’t stop Shane from spilling the beans. He told Lex everything—well, his exaggerated version of it, anyway. Lex was staring at me like she was seeing me for the first time. “Why hadn’t you mentioned him before?” “It was irrelevant. Over before it had even started.”

“Irrelevant

my ass,”

Shane

practically

shouted. “Look at her cheeks. They’re the color of your sports bra, Lex. Bright fucking red.” Lex shot him a glare. “Quiet.” Then she flipped her head back to me. “So, he left for Chicago and you two just stopped talking?” My cheeks were still burning. “Not exactly.” Shane and Lex’s jaws dropped. Then I cringed at the way Shane looked at me like I’d betrayed him. “C’mon, Amie. Whatever it is, you can trust us. We’re your best friends. The real kind. Not the Trinity kind.” A laugh slipped past my throat, and I held my small smile. “Tobias moved to Chicago to play basketball for the Windy City Knights, the Knights’ developmental team. We still talked. He even came to LA with the Knights to assist at the game against the Lions, but that was the day I quit. I ended things with Tobias the next morning.” My face heated. “It would have never worked.”

The expressions on my friends’ faces told me the pieces were finally falling into place. They understood. “Well, shit,” Shane said. And there it was. My deep, dark confession. I’d finally let them into the world I shared with Tobias James. But their new knowledge didn’t change the fact that my past was in my past. So then why did I have an awful feeling that as hard as I tried to block my past from bleeding into my future, that was exactly what was about to happen?

CHAPTER 20 Amelia The UCLA Training Facility was bustling on Saturday morning with an array of talent who wore everything from bright and hopeful expressions to unabashed confidence. All I had to do was glance at the young girl stretching with her leg pressed against her ear to remember the year I wore that same poise. It seemed like ages ago that I had first walked through that entryway, slapped that audition sticker on my tank top, and strutted across that floor like they’d never seen such a jazz walk before. Ever since I’d left the NBA, my confidence had skyrocketed. I didn’t question my expertise, or my personality, or my body. I’d gotten enough jobs over the years to know that opportunities were just that. They weren’t

the be-all and end-all of my career, because my career was dance, not the Lions. With a lift of my shoulders, I charged forward, only to freeze just inside the next set of double doors. It was an instant reaction, triggered by the sight of row upon row of dancers in midstretch, just like my audition three years ago. My chest started growing heavier with each breath. Until I felt the haunting of my past whoosh down and suffocate me with its nasty fingers. What was I thinking? I couldn’t do it again. Not when it all looked so much … the same. What would I gain? The redemption that Lex and Shane had mentioned felt insignificant compared to the onslaught of memories that catapulted me in this space. Horrible idea. My feet moved quickly, retreating from the ugly memories and wanting to get as far away as possible. “Amie, wait!” The voice from behind sounded familiar, but I couldn’t stop to look. Not until I heard

her call again. The accent was what halted me. I turned, my eyes burning from unshed tears and my pulse racing. It was fight or flight, and I was determined to save myself before it was too late. “You came.” Zoie’s tone was light, hopeful, and worried, and it broke my heart into pieces. “I did. But I can’t stay. I’m so sorry.” “You must stay. You’re here. You must want this, at least a little bit?” I swallowed. “I don’t know what I want anymore. I’m not even sure I wanted any of this for the right reasons. I’m just—” “Scared? Confused? Angry?” I nodded. She tilted her head, noting her concern. “This must be so strange for you, coming back here after everything that happened.” My face fell as confusion raced through my thoughts. “But you don’t know what happened.” Her brows turned in. “I know that you

never got to dance in a live game. I know you were abused, mentally and physically, by your coach—” “Yes, but I also quit. Why would you want a quitter on your team?” Zoie expelled a breath, and I couldn’t tell if she was frustrated at the topic or me. “I had the privilege of gaining some insight into Coach Sparks’s methods through her very detailed log book. It covered her expectations for each of her dancers, and I learned a lot.” She leaned in. “You want to know what I learned about you?” I swallowed. “You didn’t quit. You walked away from an abusive relationship.” My thoughts flashed to one of the many strange fitness tests Coach Sparks made me take, where I was forced to stand there in my underwear in front of all the girls and jump so every ounce of fat was on display. The same feelings of humiliation I’d experienced in that embarrassing moment washed over me as if they were happening now.

Zoie’s eyes gripped mine, telling me she wasn’t done. “That kind of pressure, the unrealistic standards, the ‘mean girl’ mentality —none of that belongs in our world. What you went through back then is over. You have my word. I love your style, and I think you would make a wonderful leader on this team. If it’s still what you want.” “I do, but—” “Tell me what I can do to convince you to stay. You must have conditions.” I appreciated her offer, and I truly believed she wanted me for the right reasons, but that wasn’t good enough. I didn’t know Zoie any better than I had known Coach Sparks. “With all due respect, any conditions would have to be written into my contract.” Her smile grew slow and bright. “I would expect the same. What are your terms?” These, I didn’t have to think about. “Equality. All dancers should have the same opportunities to dance on that court. With as much work as we put in for very little pay,

singling

a

few

athletes

out

based

on

measurements and scale weight is a cruel and embarrassing punishment. On that note, I’ve committed to never stepping on a scale again. It serves no purpose other than to measure something completely superficial. Weight is just a number. It doesn’t tell you how athletic a person is or how they feel inside or how talented they are.” Zoie was typing furiously into the notepad app on her phone. “I absolutely agree, and I can make a commitment to you as well. Measurements will be needed for fittings, but scales will be banned, and weight will never again be used as a benchmark. Anything else?” It was my turn to smile. “A review of pay would be nice—based on hours we’re required to commit to the job, our level of expertise, and cost of living in LA. Dancers are athletes who put in grueling hours to perform for massive audiences. Some of these girls are working two additional jobs just to be able to

pay for their education, or meals for their family. But they’re ultimately here because they love basketball, and they love to dance. That should count for something.” Zoie nodded. “That is out of my control, but I will take it up with the board.” Her eyes lifted to mine again. “Is that all?” “No.” I straightened my shoulders and raised my chin. “I want to try out today just like every other dancer. No special treatment. No guarantees. If I’m going to become a Lioness again, I want to earn a spot on this team.” Zoie’s smile showed amusement as she slid her phone into her pocket. “Then you better get in there. We deduct points for tardiness.”

I made it to the final day of boot camp. Surprisingly, my excitement matched my audition from three years ago. I would have never thought that was possible, but deep

down, I wanted that second chance. That want was enough to push me through the final choreography with a panel of judges, Zoie included. “Hi, ladies.” Zoie was looking at the remaining thirty-seven of us. We were all standing center court at the Staples Center for our final performance. “How are you all feeling?” She spoke with a knowing smile while the room buzzed with energy. A cheer soared through the group of us. “That’s what I like to hear. You’re done with the tough part. You’ve got the choreography down. For your next mission, I will be calling random numbers to form groups. I’d like to see how you do as a unit. Also”—she flashed a grin—“you’ll have an audience.” The challenge in her eyes traveled over us all and made everyone laugh through their nerves, including me. I glanced at the other girls I’d been grouped with, who were already exchanging confused glances. I didn’t remember this part in the last auditions.

“Let ’em in, boys,” Zoie shouted into the mic. Within seconds, the dynamic in the room shifted to explosive heights. Doors from all around the arena burst open, and excited voices and quick feet followed. Bodies of all ages rushed down the aisles and into the first few sections of seats in front of us, all dressed in Lions gear. My guess was that they were season ticket holders, but they weren’t the only ones who came to cheer us on. A dozen or so cameramen from local media networks took spots on the sidelines while others chose alternate spots in the arena to capture the final selection. In the opposite tunnel, I saw a group of security officers, and with one sweep of my eyes, I found Ben, who was grinning from front and center of his colleagues. Then I turned to see a group of men in practice jerseys walking through the home team tunnel, hooting and hollering for us all. “You are kidding me.” I laughed through

my words to Stephanie, a girl I knew from Gravity, who was also returning to the Lions. “The Lions basketball team is here?” Something rushed over me, a renewed energy that buzzed through my veins. It was like the last three years were coming full circle, and I could feel my entire world shifting on its axis. This was really happening, and seeing the players only made it more real. “Figure there’s only one way to see how you ladies handle some pressure,” Zoie said with a wink. “You also have the advantage of feeding off the audience’s energy. Use it. Enjoy it. And good luck.” Zoie wasn’t messing around. Before I could adjust to the new element in the room, Zoie began to call out numbers to perform together, eventually getting to me. I took my place on the floor, my body shaking so hard it took every last ounce of strength I had to quiet my nerves. A few deep breaths calmed them, but I knew the only way to get rid of them completely was to execute

the best damn performance of my life. I was in the first line of our group, my hip popped and my back turned, when the music started, giving us the intro to cue us to start moving. Zoie specialized in quick and big stylized movements that blended dance from diverse cultures, her signature style of choreography that everyone went crazy over. It was all about attitude and confidence. This dance was no different. It blended Bollywood with hip-hop, though it leaned much heavier on the hip-hop side. I dug it.

I stuck the final move, landing on my knees while diving into a backbend. Adrenaline soared through my veins, my breaths pushing my chest to the sky as I soaked in the echoing final note and the crowd’s cheers. Zoie didn’t waste any time letting some

talent go while having the rest of us perform again and again until I’d executed the same routine more than ten times with different groups. I was standing front and center in the latest group. Twenty-four of us were on the floor while the other remaining seven watched on the sidelines, and the anticipation of the judges’ decision was palpable. My breaths were heavy as we waited for Zoie’s next direction. “I think this is it,” Zoie finally announced, silencing the room. I couldn’t hear a single sound among the finalists as we waited. I looked around, my heart understanding before my mind could accept her words. My eyes opened wide on Stephanie, who had ended up a row behind me and a few girls down. She mouthed “We made it,” and my chest immediately swelled with emotion. As I turned back to Zoie, waiting for her to verify what she’d only alluded to a moment ago, I fought the sting of tears in the backs of

my eyes. Zoie was exchanging nods and smiles with the other judges, as if confirming the final selections, no words needed. Then she turned to us with a clap of her hands. “Congratulations, Lionesses. You’ve all made it through.” Her smile grew wider as she turned to the remaining seven. “Thank you for your talent and time. You’re all excellent. I hope you will try out again next year.” It was crushing to watch the girls leave. Most of them had tears in their eyes, but they all had smiles. And I understood why. Looking around, I realized the amazing opportunity I’d just been given. To have a doover. To take my dream back in my arms and embrace it with the strength of a lion—no pun intended—and I would. But this time, I would do it the right way. “I want to see it one more time, this time for the cameras. Same formation.” Zoie pointed at the audiovisual booth behind her. “Lights, please. Let’s get some spotlights on these

girls.” The crowd was going nuts, and I was still standing front and center as we started the routine again. By the time the routine was over, my tears were seconds from emerging, and my heart felt like it was going to burst. Instinctively, I looked over the crowd’s happy faces. Even Ben had a grin on his freshly shaven face as he elbowed one of his work buddies. Then he pushed past them to make his way to me. Almost as soon as he did, I could feel the shift of my axis again—in the air, in my world. It felt like everything was righting itself and I could finally breathe. I had the dream job— again—but this time it might actually match that fantasy in my head. I had the best friends in the world—ones I could count on. And I had a man who adored me. I didn’t remotely have to question that. Life couldn’t possibly get more perfect than this moment. My arms wrapped around Ben’s waist as his

head dipped low. Our mouths met, and I was prepared for the explosions. Except the sparks that should have been lighting the sky with our connection felt more like a grocery store firecracker. Safe. Disappointing. Where’s the passion? Why aren’t his lips firmly planted on mine and sucking me in like I’m his final lifeline? Then again, it was all still so new between us, and we were surrounded by our coworkers and peers. I was being silly. Ben was too damn perfect for me to get caught up in imaginary fireworks. My hand slid around his neck, and I pulled him closer, desperate to feel something more. Anything to tell me I wasn’t dead inside when it came to having feelings for someone other than the boy from my past who haunted me. “Whoa.” Ben laughed as he pulled away. “We should probably save some of that for the after-party.” He winked and stepped back, the look on his face telling me our kiss had had the opposite effect on him. He’d felt everything when I hadn’t felt a thing.

“Speaking of an after-party. Let’s celebrate tonight.” I hopped onto my toes. He twisted his face in apology. “I have to work, but how about I take you out on Saturday? And then afterward …” His finger slid from my cheek to my lips. “Maybe we can go to your place.” Is he insinuating sex? We had never even done it, and suddenly he was trying to plan it like I was some appointment in his calendar? Unease swept through me, but I stuffed it deep down where I could ignore it for a little while longer. “I promised Shane I’d hang out with him on Saturday.” “We can all go out,” he said, coaxing me further. “It would be nice to get to know your friends. As long as I get you to myself when we get home.” I swallowed and pushed out a smile. “Sure.” When Ben beamed at me, I wanted to kick myself for agreeing to his “plan.” If I’d learned anything from my past, it was that forcing

something that felt wrong didn’t make it right. “I gotta get back to work,” he said with a wink. “I’ll call you later.” He strutted away, and I waited to feel the longing from his absence. But I felt numb to his flirtation, while at the same time, the buzz on my insides grew stronger. I hadn’t been wrong about the shift in my world. It was still there, like the calm before the storm, circling around me, feeding me energy like the impending tide. And then I felt him, just like I did whenever he was near. Impossible. I silently scolded my thoughts. But the pull to look up was too strong—I felt the wave coming before I saw it growing in the distance. My eyes scanned the players, immediately filtering out the shorter guys and zeroing in on the taller ones, all the while thinking … No, no, no. Not here. Not now. My gaze landed. And there he was, the man who couldn’t possibly be missed, with his

dark-brown hair and bold blue eyes as deep as the ocean, staring back at me. I sucked in a breath as I took in the Lions basketball practice jersey he wore. What. The. Fuck.

CHAPTER 21 Tobias After feeling as if I’d just taken a hard ball to the chest when I spotted her there on the beach in Malibu, I’d tried to tell her. Well—in a way, I had. I had told her that the prospects were everything I’d been working toward since I left Malibu. If she hadn’t been so eager to rush off that day, she might have caught it. That was the only defense I had when she spotted me at the entrance to the Lions’ tunnel. Not that I expected to see her pop, lock, and dropping it on day one of my contract with my new team. That was a shock, as much for her as it was for me, according to those big green saucers of hers. Deep down, I’d always felt that there was more to the reason she’d quit the team and broke things off with me than she’d let on, but

she’d never explained herself totally, just that she needed time to figure things out. Well, I hoped three years was enough for that. An even bigger shock, though—the one that unleashed an ugly monster in my core—was seeing another man’s tongue down her throat while she practically climbed his body like he was a tree. Or maybe a shrub. He was a stocky dude, not short by any means, but Amelia didn’t have to crane her neck to stare up at him the way she always did with me. I hadn’t been dumb enough to assume she would be single. When I’d seen her walking the Malibu shores, I was slapped with the brutal reality of what she’d yanked from my grasp. But to give it to the schmuck in the Staples Center security costume? The rage that filled me after watching their display could have lit the arena on fire. When I saw her on our beach, so much that I’d forgotten funneled back into perspective. Watching her today only made it clearer.

Amelia and I had started something long ago, and maybe it was just a spark, but one thing was certain—it had never died. Not by a long shot. I’d been working on getting back to LA ever since the day I left her. Now it was too late. My feet began to move toward the players, who were spread out on the court congratulating the dancers. There must have been a couple of dozen women, but I saw only one. She wore her hair longer than it was a month ago, and it spilled around her shoulder in loose waves that reached below her breasts. Her outfit was as flashy and seductive as I remembered it being when I used to watch her dance at Gravity. She was brilliant then. Fucking radiant now. Detrick clapped a hand on my back and squeezed, causing my jaw to clench and my nose to twitch. It was the same effect he’d had on me since the day I met him three years ago. Before that night on the yacht. He’d gotten

picked up by the Lions the following year, relieving me of an enemy and making it possible for me to step up as the prime shooting guard for the Knights’ D-League team, which was when my career really began. But while Detrick’s career was still on the rise, his ego was already making headlines. “Careful there, Fresh.” Fresh as in Freshman, which was Malone’s nickname for new members of the team. “I see you eyeing that one over there like a fucking Vienna sausage on an empty stomach.” He sneered and leaned in so close my entire body clenched, fists included. “Hope you’re not getting any ideas. I already called dibs.” “Malone,” barked our team captain and center, Blake. “Stop running your mouth and get out there.” Detrick pulled back with a laugh. “Just talking strategy, Cap.” Then he dipped his head low so only I could hear. “Don’t worry, James. I’ll leave you some leftovers when I’m done with her.” He winked and started to

walk off. Yeah, no fucking way will I let that happen. I released my fists and started after him, but Blake blocked my path. “Where do you think you’re going?” I pulled my glare from Detrick and settled on Blake’s stern expression. It was enough to shake me from my mission to kill. “Nowhere.” “Good. You’re going to need to learn how to ignore him when he gets under your skin like that. That’s just him. Doesn’t help with his position change. You two will figure your shit out, just don’t do it in public.” Blake looked over his shoulder toward the crowd on the court just as Detrick approached Amelia and stuck out his hand. I bit down on another burst of rage that spiked in my chest. There was no way in hell I’d let Blake in on what went down in Chicago. And he was right. I had to find a way to let Detrick’s remarks roll off my back. Back in Chicago, our beef didn’t matter on the court. I subbed for him whenever he got

penalized or got a call-up on shared game nights. This was a whole new ball game. “You’re right, Blake. I won’t let him get to me.” “Good. We’re happy to have you on the team, Toby. It’s going to be a great year.” He winked and took off for the court, but I stopped following him when I caught sight of Amelia with Detrick. Her eyes widened as she laughed at whatever he’d said. I balled my fists again. This was not how it was supposed to go down. I’d had every intention of seeing Amelia again. My plan had been simple. Get a spot with the Lions. Find Amelia. And finally get to the bottom of what the hell happened three years ago. My glare moved from the guy who’d walked away from Amelia and transferred to Detrick. Now, it looked like there wasn’t just one obstacle to remove … but two.

CHAPTER 22 Amelia A sigh of relief escaped me as Detrick walked away. It wasn’t his parting wink that sat heavy in my stomach, or even the way he’d embraced me like we’d been friends forever. What held my attention was the hard glare of the man who stood in the shadows of the tunnel. As Zoie’s assistant ushered the dancers off the court and into the same tunnel where Tobias lingered, I fell to the rear of the group and tried to get a handle on my heart rate before I crossed paths with him. He was the only player still around, and while his eyes were on me, I could tell his focus was somewhere else. His rigid stance and hard jaw revealed that something ailed him. Something more than running into me again.

“Fancy meeting you here.” My smile was soft and teasing while the hummingbird in my chest hammered his pointy beak against my rib cage. Tobias’s entire stance softened immediately. “Fancy?” He tilted his head. “Interesting word choice. I would have picked something else.” “Like?” “Shocking might be more appropriate.” I let out a laugh that I hoped masked my nerves. “Yeah, well, you might be right about that. I thought you were going back to Chicago.” “I did,” he said, straightening his shoulders. “To pack my shit.” My mouth fell open before my thoughts rewound back to that day on the beach. He’d said everything was going great. “You knew you were moving to LA, and you didn’t say a word?” The corner of his mouth tugged into a half smile. “You weren’t paying attention.” “Huh? I think I would have remembered

you mentioning that you were moving to LA to play for the Lions.” His jaw hardened. “I told you years ago that I’d find a way to get to LA. And then on the beach, I told you everything I’d been working toward was finally coming true. You just didn’t connect the dots.” My heart moved to my throat. His words triggered the gears that made everything click into place. He was right. He had said that. And then I’d walked off the beach so fast I hadn’t given him much opportunity to divulge his plans. “So you’re a Lion now?” My nerves were still rattling around inside me, awaiting the confirmation. I shook my head, my cheeks heating at my silly question. “I mean, obviously you are.” His nod was slow, his eyes perusing my face. “I am. And so are you. Again.” His brows scrunched, and I knew the questions were piling up in that gorgeous head of his. But instead of asking any of them, he simply said,

“Congrats.” A heavy breath took over my body as all the words inside my head became jumbled and stuck. “Thank you.” My eyes found the last of my group, and they turned the corner until they were completely out of view. “So, I guess—” “Can we—” We laughed as we caught ourselves speaking over each other. “Toby,” Coach Reagan’s voice said from the court, startling me. “Get your ass out here, now.” Luckily, Tobias’s body prevented me from having to make eye contact. “Coming Coach,” he called back, but his eyes were still on me, like he didn’t want to tear them away. Zoie poked her head around the corner, and my eyes shot open. “Amie, we’re waiting for you.” I shot off in her direction. “I’m coming.” Zoie disappeared around the corner again, and I felt it was safe to look over my shoulder

and give Tobias a parting glance. He still hadn’t moved, but he was watching me with the same eyes I drowned in whenever he was near. It took everything in my power to keep moving. As I darted around the corner to join the others, the entire scene filled the back of my throat with a burn it hadn’t felt in years. I remembered the last time it did, because I had been there before. With Tobias. With basketball. With dance. I had been young and made the mistake of letting something with Tobias develop when we both knew it shouldn’t. I couldn’t afford to repeat the same mistakes. Joining the Lions again was supposed to be my second chance— my redemption, an opportunity to make better decisions. Tobias and I, we were bound to make all the wrong ones.

CHAPTER 23 Tobias “There’s the man.” Phil, my new publicist, wrapped me in a hug and pounded my back with his palm. We were meeting at a quaint corner restaurant on the outskirts of LA to go over my schedule for the upcoming months. Aaron had demanded a lot in exchange for zipping his lips when it came to the trade deal I wanted. The bottom line of that deal: Aaron wasn’t allowed to give me grief if I was making him money, and Phil was the man who could make it all happen. “So, here’s what we’ve been able to lock down. No endorsements yet, but you kick this season’s ass and I guarantee you’re in for some serious dollar signs next year. We gotta play

this right. You’re the new kid in town, which means you need to earn their trust, establish yourself a bit. Our goal is to put you in the public’s hands. They need to get to know you. When they do, they’ll fall straight into your lap.” “Can’t I just earn their trust by playing great ball?” Phil chuckled. “You’re not in developmental anymore like you were in Chicago. This is the big leagues, kid. You’re building a brand. An image. And with your pretty face, you’ll do great. We just need to get you out there.” I ignored his comment about my pretty face. “And how are we going to do that?” “What are your interests outside of basketball? Are there any local charities that are of interest to you?” Now that was something I was prepared for. “I’m not sure if it’s considered a charity, but there is a place I’m interested in checking out.”

Phil poised his tablet at an angle in front of him and shot me a look, telling me he was ready. “It’s a recreation center in South LA. From what I read, it’s in a struggling neighborhood that has taken some steps in the right direction lately. I wouldn’t mind checking that out. See if there’s anything I can offer.” “Like?” “I don’t know. Most rec centers have basketball courts, don’t they? Maybe the kids would be interested in free lessons? Or maybe we can set up a series of workshops and get some guys on the team to join us.” His fingers were moving fast and furious. “Perfect. This is exactly the kind of publicity I can work with.” It irked me that this was all business to Phil. Appearances. Just like my family. “You’ll find out who I need to talk to and set it up?” He nodded. “Absolutely. I’ll round up some of the guys, too. I’m thinking Detrick, Blake. I

think they’d be into it, and it would look good for you to join forces on this one.” I raised a hand to stop him. “Hold up, Phil. I will pick the guys. Blake, yes. But Detrick isn’t exactly the best fit.” That should have ended the discussion, but from the way Phil leaned back in his chair and let out a heavy breath, I knew he would have more to say. Detrick was a client of his, too, but working at the recreation center was my idea. It was something I’d planned to look into with or without a publicist leading the way. If I didn’t want Detrick there, then I shouldn’t have gotten an argument. “Let me handle the details, Toby. You hired me to look out for your well-being, and that’s exactly what I intend to do. But at times, that will entail pushing you outside your comfort zone. Detrick is good for business, and business is our focus here.” “Not when it comes to the rec center. That has nothing to do with business.” “At your level, everything is business.

Whatever puts you in the public’s eye is business. That doesn’t mean what you’re doing is any less charitable. It just means you’re being recognized for your time.” Our meals came then, forcing us to move on from business talk to more personal conversation. I asked about his wife and kids, who he boasted about in a way that confirmed my initial impression of the guy. He was hungry, but he was loyal. He was someone I could work well with. “What about you, Toby? Any lucky LA ladies, or are you keeping it clean?” I chuckled at his terminology. “You been talking to Otis?” He grinned. “We’ve exchanged some words since I took you on. He’s a good man, that one. Has your back for sure. So, tell me about your dating situation. I’ve got a few prospects I’m looking into for you, but we need to make sure it lines up with what we’re feeding the media.” “Whoa.” I put my hands up. “I’m not

looking for that kind of publicity. No blind dates. No fake relationships with celebrities. I want to focus on the game and the outreach. That’s all.” He closed his case. “All right, we can talk about that later. In the meantime, if there’s anything I can do to help, just holler.” After lunch, Phil dropped me off at my rental home in Outpost Estates on the outskirts of LA. Otis was the one who found the property, telling me nothing in LA would give me the privacy and views of this location. It was perfect, though the house was a bit large for my needs—nearly four thousand square feet, four bedrooms, and a detached guest house. But the winning feature was the basketball court in the backyard. Boxes still lined my hallways, and I had zero motivation to unpack a single one of them. Instead, I headed for my kitchen, reached into my nearly bare fridge, and pulled out a beer. I carried it to the back deck, where I’d found

myself sitting a lot. To stew. To think. To stalk Amelia on social media while debating how I would find her and what I would do when I did. There was so much to say, I didn’t know where I would start. There was no denying that our connection had been fierce when we were together. Even when we were apart, our chemistry had still sizzled. Time, distance, none of it had mattered when I knew we’d be together in the end. Until the next morning when I woke up alone in my bed. My heart had never felt so broken. Over time, I had learned to let Amelia go— to an extent. After dozens of unreturned calls and messages, I had been given no other choice. I focused fully on basketball, on my goals, on my future. All the while, I never changed direction. My heart was always headed back to California, to LA, to her. My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I groaned, in no mood to talk. Except it was Phil, which meant it was probably important.

“Missed me already?” He chuckled. “You’re not so bad, but no, that’s not why I’m calling. I have info for you on the rec center. I’ll email all this over to you, but I wanted you to hear it from me first.” “Man, you work fast.” “That’s why you pay me the mediocre bucks.” I laughed. “All right, all right. What’s up?” “The guy you’re going to talk to is Theodore Noska. Goes by Theo. He’s one of the directors at the rec center, but his office is at a place called …” A rustling sound filled the speaker. “Here it is. A place called Gravity Dance Complex.” My heart kick-started to life. “I’m sorry, did you say this Theo guy works at Gravity? In LA?” “Yup. Guy’s a dancer. Fucking weird, right? I triple-checked the info. Verified it straight from the owner, Ananya. She says this guy is her right hand. Even went as far as setting up your meeting for you. She’s jazzed, dude. I

guess they’ve been taking on some major renovations to take a stand for kids in the neighborhood, especially those who use the facility as a safehouse of sorts. I think you were on to something. This is right up your alley.” My chest swelled. “It sounds perfect. Thanks for the hookup. Send me the info, and I’ll let you know how it goes.” “Already done. Chat soon.” After a click ended the call, I smiled. If that wasn’t yet another sign that Amelia and I were meant to see each other again, then I didn’t know what was.

CHAPTER 24 Amelia My chest felt heavy as Shane opened the door to his condo. He had a towel wrapped around his waist, and his hair was glistening from a fresh shower. I slapped my hands on my side in annoyance. “I told you to be ready by eight.” He made a face. “Please. I still have ten minutes. Don’t tell me your lover boy is always on time.” “He is, actually. He’s a planner. He even planned sex for tonight.” Shane nearly choked. “You are kidding me, right?” I shook my head as I stepped inside and looked around. “Do you clean this place ever?” He held up a finger. “Do not comment on

the masterpiece that is my home.” He pointed at his kitchen. “Grab a beer, sit, and tell me what’s new while I throw some clothes on.” I skipped the drink and walked to the couch. After pushing over a pile of what I hoped was clean clothes, I sat and tucked my heels under my butt. “Well, I made the Lions Dance Team, but you already knew that.” Shane popped out of his bedroom as he slid on his undershirt. “Yeah, about that. Why aren’t you losing your chill, woman? That’s a good thing.” “I know, I know. It’s all great news, but—” He placed his hands on his hips and huffed. “Is this about a boy?” Shane had the weirdest yet most accurate relationship radar. My insides shook. I couldn’t stop thinking about Tobias and the fact that he was in town for good. And that he’d signed with the Lions, of all teams. “Remember that guy, Tobias, I told you about from Malibu?” Shane nodded, his forehead pinched as he

studied me. “You mean your spring fling whose penis continued to casually slip inside your va—” “Geez. Shut up.” I smooshed my face between my palms. “He just signed with the Lions.” “Oh.” The width of his eyes said it all. “No. Fucking. Way. That means—” I nodded hard. I’d never known Shane to be speechless. His shock only legitimized my concern. “Oh, honey.” Worry was written all over his face. Then he grabbed a teal-blue button-down from the light fixture beside him and pulled it over one arm. “What are you going to do? What did you tell Ben?” My eyes went wide. “Nothing. Oh my God, what would I even say?” “Tell me this first,” Shane said while buttoning his shirt. “Do you want to keep things going with Ben? Do you like him enough? More than this Tobias guy?” “It’s so new, Shane. I can’t answer that yet.”

He tsked while shaking his head. “Oh, girl. You are in a pickle.” I slapped my hands to my knees in disbelief. “That’s all you’ve got for me? This might be the one time in the history of ever that you haven’t had some smart-ass solution to a dilemma.” He chuckled. “I’m sorry. I really am. I’m a little disappointed in myself, actually. I think you have some decisions to make first. Since I’ve never met this baller of yours, I can’t vouch for him. Ben, despite his choice of profession, seems like a decent guy. It all comes down to what you want at the end of the day, which is where I step back and let you figure it out. If you need an ass slap, or a brutal awakening to your weaknesses, I’m here. Otherwise, Imma grab my popcorn and stand back to watch this one.” “You make me so angry,” I growled. “That’s called endearment, honey.” I stood up with a huff just as Ben texted. “He’s here.”

Shane finished tying his last shoe and stood up with a flourish. “Ta-da. Now that’s how it’s done.” I smiled as I glanced over at my handsome friend with his dark hair and sexy blue eyes. I’d always wondered if Lex had ever crushed on Shane while growing up. I would have. Not only was he hot and funny, but he was one of the most loving, confident, and loyal guys I knew. “The boys better contain themselves tonight,” I said. “Oh no they better not.” Shane took my arm and grinned. “And Ben better come through on the sex plan.” He eyed me up and down. “I’d hit it.” I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “No, you wouldn’t.” He chuckled. “Maybe not, but I’d at least drum on those abs of yours.” Now that, I believed. With a quick pivot toward the full-length hallway mirror, I let my eyes scroll over my outfit. I wasn’t sure where Ben was taking us,

so I’d thrown together something that could pass in a club or in a fancy restaurant. I wore a white bralette covered by a yellow blazer, and matching yellow crop pants that started just below my belly button and hugged the length of my legs. Toeless white wedge heels were strapped to my feet to give me a slight lift, and a silver belly chain wrapped my waist. I released a slow breath and touched the small silver pendant that hung just below my throat, sliding it back and forth on the chain— a habit that normally settled my nerves. The engraved plate read Illimité, which was French for “limitless.” Lex had bought it for me when we got back to LA after our concert series in Vegas. I hadn’t taken it off since. I’d learned so much working that show in Vegas—about friendships, relationships, and how truly magical things could happen when a dance crew was as tight-knit as that one. Since I’d left the Lions, it was the first job I’d had that satisfied me in a way I’d always thought my dreams could. And I had every

intention of creating that same experience with the Lionesses this time around. Shane held the courtyard gate open for me to find Ben leaning against his black Mazda, dressed in a suit and a smile, his fingers tapping away on his phone. When he looked up, a smile spread quickly across his face. “There’s my girl. Looking beautiful as ever.” He pocketed his phone and reached out when I got close enough for him to take my hands. “You must be Shane,” Ben said over my shoulder. “In the flesh.” Shane’s tone made my insides cringe. He was not impressed. Ben winked and let me go, extending his hand to Shane. “I’m Ben, the boyfriend.” Shane gasped and placed four fingers on his chest, his eyes darting between us. “I thought I was the boyfriend.” At the sight of Ben blanching in front of us, Shane chuckled and slapped a palm to Ben’s back, rocking him forward with the pressure. “Just kidding, man. Ready to go?”

Shane didn’t wait for an answer before grabbing the lever on the front seat to pull it forward, then climbing into the back. Swallowing, I avoided Ben’s eyes and sank down into the passenger seat, certain the night couldn’t possibly get more interesting.

“This is what I’m talking about.” Shane’s eyes were wide as he slowly spun in place. We were standing inside the entrance of WP24 in the Ritz, a Wolfgang Puck restaurant. The sponsor event was already packed with fancy dresses and business suits. Servers were in midflight, carrying silver trays of champagne and appetizers. Shane looked around, his jaw dropping at whatever he was seeing. “Holy shit. Is that Hall of Famer Peter Dwayne at the bar?” His head swiveled so fast that I wouldn’t have been surprised if it had screwed right off as he turned to Ben. “Dude. What kind of party is

this?” “It’s a meet and greet,” Ben said as he handed us each a drink from the nearest tray. “Some of the players, retirees included, come out and chat with investors and media, have drinks, schmooze a little. The Lions like to keep their sponsors happy. They buy in for the players, so these events throughout the season give them the face time they crave.” My eyes quickly scanned the crowd, relief rushing through me when I didn’t see Tobias among the players mingling about. “So then how did you get an invite?” Shane asked. Ben’s eyes narrowed for a second before snapping back to his friendly self. “I know the right people.” He placed a hand on my back and leaned in. “I’m going to the restroom. When I come back, I can introduce you to some folks.” He pointed a finger at me and smiled. “Don’t move.” As soon as Ben walked off, I groaned. I had thought we were going out. Like to a club, or

to grab late appetizers and drinks somewhere. I didn’t know he was taking us to an industry party. Looking around, I calculated roughly two hundred people. “You okay?” Shane asked. I nodded, but my stomach twisted in response. “It’s just not what I expected for tonight. I wanted to go somewhere to dance. To celebrate.” “Then let’s go. Ditch the mall cop and let’s get out of here.” “You don’t want to stay?” Shane glanced around, made a face, and shrugged. “I came here for you. If you’re not feeling it, then we should go. And—” I could see his expression dim with a seriousness I didn’t expect. “This Ben guy, are you sure about him? I’m not getting a good vibe.” I rolled my eyes. “You and your vibes. You don’t even know him.” I gave Shane a pleading look even though there was a deep tug in me to take him up on his offer and leave. “Just give him a chance.” I smiled up at

him. “For me?” Shane smiled and wrapped an arm over my shoulder. “Like I said, I’m here for you. But just know that if you want to leave, all you have to do is say the word.” “You’re sweet.” Most of the time, he was. “But no, I’ll be fine. Let’s go take a lap. I thought I saw Zoie over there.” He took a sip of champagne. “Lead the way, baby girl.” With a quick slide of my hands, I smoothed the fabric of my yellow pants and started across the room. “Amie.” Zoie’s smile was warmly accusing as I approached. “I don’t recall invites going out to dancers. You must know someone I should know.” Then her eyes softened. “Ah. That’s right. You and the security guard. Ben, is that right?” My face heated as Shane chuckled beside me. “You know Ben?” “Not well, but I make it a priority to learn who my dancers make out with on the

basketball

court.”

She

eyed

me

with

amusement. “There are rules, but Ben is fair game for you. Just keep it off the court is all I ask. How long have you two been dating?” “Um.” I hesitated every time I was asked the question, and I didn’t know why. I almost felt that any answer would be a lie. “A few months now.” I hoped that was clear enough. Our relationship, if I could even call it that, was too new for her to expect it to be serious. She nodded. “He seems like a nice guy. I’m sure he’s proud of you for your achievement. You’ve earned it.” “Thank you, Zoie. I can’t thank you enough for the opportunity.” Someone cleared their throat beside me. My cheeks heated as I turned to Shane. “I’m sorry, Zoie. This is my good friend, Shane Masterson. Shane, this is Zoie McBride.” “No introductions necessary,” Shane said, stepping forward. He tipped his head like he was bowing to a queen and took her hand delicately in his. I bit back my laugh at his

dramatics. “I am a huge fan.” She smiled and clapped her free hand over his. “Wonderful to meet you, sweetheart.” As Shane commented on some of her notable work, my eyes shifted around the room. I didn’t know why I felt so on edge tonight. Maybe it was the expectation of sex that Ben had alluded was on the agenda. As much as I wanted to open up to him, I also had the desire to feel connected to him first. We just weren’t there yet. Zoie placed a gentle hand on my arm. “I’m going to make my rounds. It was lovely to see you both. Congratulations again, Amie. I look forward to seeing you in rehearsals.” She gave a parting nod and walked away. We were plucking bacon wrapped scallops from a passing tray when Ben joined us again. He placed an arm over my shoulder. “Having fun?” My response was interrupted by a shuffle of activity. Heads began to turn toward the entrance, and voices became lively with

excitement. The party had been mild, filled with soft introductions and the clinking of champagne glasses. I had assumed that was all this party would be. Until that moment, when a handful of basketball players started streaming into the room, one by one, and taking up the tail was none other than Tobias James. In a suit. Of course.

CHAPTER 25 Amelia “Is that Detrick Malone?” Shane’s head swiveled so far around, I wouldn’t have been surprised if it screwed right off. “And Wade Lowe? And Blake?” His voice was rising in pitch as he spotted Tobias. “And who on this beautiful earth is that?” Ben, of course, managed to latch on to the question. “That’s Toby James, the new shooting guard for the Lions. Would you like to meet him?” Before I could stop him, Ben was charging forward, through the crowd and around the rest of the players, until he was standing right in front of my first and last-ever fling. “Oh shit.” Shane sighed, and our eyes locked. “Toby is Tobias.” I nodded at his statement. He blew out a breath. “This

probably wouldn’t be a good time to tell Ben that you and the hottie in the suit used to dance the horizontal mambo, but you probably should mention it at some point.” I watched in horror as Ben chatted up Tobias for a few minutes while Tobias looked perturbed with his head bent low, brows pulled together. A moment later, the two men were headed our way; Ben was all smiles, and Tobias appeared dazed and confused in a setting where I was sure he felt uncomfortable. Big social gatherings had never been his thing. Knowing that, I always wondered how he would handle his stardom. Ben was still talking his ear off when they were a few feet away, and Tobias looked up. His eyes widened, and for a second, he looked relieved. Until Ben sidled up to me and slipped his arm over my shoulder again. Tobias’s mouth snapped shut as his eyes moved between the men I was sandwiched between.

“Toby James, I’d like you to meet my girlfriend, Amie, and her best friend, Shane.” All the air left my body at Ben’s use of the word girlfriend. In seconds, I watched Tobias’s expression transform from confused to lethal to charismatic. “That introduction was kind of you, Ben,” Tobias said with a wide grin. “But Amelia and I go way back.” The confusion that filled Ben’s face triggered pangs of guilt in my gut. “You do?” Afraid of opening my mouth and saying something I would regret, I nodded. It wasn’t that I felt guilty for keeping something like that from Ben. Honestly, it would have been weird if I’d ever brought it up. There was simply no reason to except that my feelings for the guy were less than platonic. Tobias stepped toward me, embracing me as if we hadn’t seen each other in years. His mouth breezed over my ear. “Good to see you again, Amelia.” His gruff tone caused a tightening in my belly.

I swallowed, my throat thick with tension and my nostrils filling with his familiar scent. I savored the mixture of coconut and sage that smelled every bit as good as I remembered. It had become my comfort, my safety, without any effort at all. His arms were strong as he held me, confident. For a moment, I wondered if our hug was as transparent as my midriff. Could anyone see how my heart spread its wings whenever he came close? Or how my breath caught at just one glance at him? I forced myself to step back from him, only to land on something hard. I gasped when I realized it was Ben’s toe. “Oh. Sorry, Ben.” I hadn’t realized he’d moved in so close. He chuckled and wrapped his arms around me from behind. It all felt possessive and wrong. In front of everyone at the party, namely Tobias. Even the contrast of Ben’s thick and musky scent felt wrong. “You didn’t tell me you knew Toby James. What else have you been hiding from me,

Amie?” His words were meant to be playful, but a warning flag shot through my mind. There was an edge to his tone, too, one that confirmed he felt threatened by my old neighbor. A herd of elephants galloped across my chest as I clung to Tobias’s gaze with a desperation only he would understand. I couldn’t do this. Our secret had almost killed me when we were younger. I wasn’t doing that again. But from the flinch of his nose, it was clear he didn’t catch my silent plea. Tobias addressed Ben while still staring at me. He went on to explain how his family had moved in next door to mine nearly two decades ago. “Amelia and I grew rather close, with my sister being her best friend and all.” Ben looked between us. “So, then you must have seen Amie at auditions today. My girl was radiant out there.” Tobias nodded. “Amelia has always been radiant on the dance floor. And off it.” Shit. My insides squirmed at their exchange

and the way Tobias insisted on saying my name every five seconds. The way Ben held me like I was his trophy. The air in the room grew stifling. I pulled away from Ben, jerking from his grip when he didn’t get the hint and let go. “Excuse me. I need to find a restroom.” Without a backward glance at any of them, I slinked my way through the crowd and found the nearest exit, followed by a set of stairs, and took them down as low as they would go. When I burst through the bottom-floor exit, I was blasted with a gust of wind, and I gulped it like a drowning victim who’d been starved of air. I couldn’t have been outside for five minutes when the door behind me shot open to reveal Tobias. “You’re leaving? Because of me?” I pinned him with a glare as heated as I could muster. “I just needed some air.” “Why’s that? Seems like you’ve got it made in there with the boyfriend. Didn’t really think

you liked the suit types, but I guess there’s not much I know about you anymore.” I shot him a glare. “Don’t be an ass.” He narrowed his eyes and folded his arms. “Benjamin Sloane, really?” I scoffed. “You don’t know him.” Tobias chuckled. “I know plenty of guys just like him. That’s enough. He’s no good for you.” “And you are?” “We both know the answer to that.” I let out a rush of breath that had been building in my chest. “Why are you even here?” “I was invited.” I growled. “Not here as in at this party, Tobias. What are you doing in LA? Hell, what are you doing in California, period? Your home is in Chicago. You were never supposed to show up like this…” I shook my head, entirely too emotional to speak, but the words were spewing like lava, uncontrolled and damaging everything around me.

Tobias looked around like he’d just realized we were out in the open, then he reached for my arm, locking a hand around it and tugging me toward the door to the next building. Once we were inside, he pulled me to a dark corner behind a pillar and pushed me against it, his face moving close to mine. “You need to stop calling Chicago my home. This is my home. LA is where I’ve been trying to take my career since the moment I left Malibu. I told you that. You’re not the only one with dreams, remember? And my dream was always to play for the Lions. That was something we shared.” His words hit my chest like a lightning bolt. I would never forget how closely our dreams were tied. How I’d rooted for him as much as I’d rooted for myself. I’d never wanted it all to blow up in our faces. But it did, and there was nothing he could do to undo any of it. Neither of us had that kind of power. “Don’t think I didn’t see just how cozy you were with your new life in Chicago. Fancy

parties, all those women.” “What the hell, Amelia. You ghosted me, remember? We had something. Where did you go? You couldn’t have even said goodbye?” “You wouldn’t have let me.” My throat tightened, and I reached for it, like rubbing the spot of tension would bring my breaths with it. But nothing could help me breathe as long as I held onto my lies. “It doesn’t matter where I went. It could have never worked out. You think we would have survived as friends with three years of phone calls and texts?” “Yes.” His confidence was bold and pure. I wanted to feel that sure, too. His expression softened. “But we had always been more than friends.” “Stop lying to yourself. You became a big shot in the NBA, just like I knew you would. And you clearly had plenty of options.” Tobias reeled back, twisting his face. “You had your chance in the NBA, too, but you quit.”

Heat stung the backs of my eyes, and my mouth quivered. “ Quitting was the right thing to do.” “What about quitting on me. Was that the right thing to do, too?” I twisted my neck and raised my chin. We were both so worked up, I didn’t know how I would even start. But as I tried to form the right words, I could feel my silence stretching too long. Tobias growled and slammed his fists on the column above my head. “I guess we’re finally having the conversation I wanted to have years ago, but just like then, you have nothing to say to me.” I swiped at another tear and stared up at him while my hand reached for his shirt, but this time, he pulled away, yanking my heart with him. The words felt so backed up in my throat, I had no option but to blurt them out. “I told you I needed time to figure things out. The NBA was no longer an option for me, but the

NBA was your life. I couldn’t wait around for you. I didn’t know how long you’d be in Chicago, or if you would meet someone else. I didn’t know if you’d even still want me if it sank in that the entire reason you had fallen for me didn’t exist anymore. I didn’t have a choice.” “There’s always a choice.” “Not this time. I don’t know why you’re too stubborn to admit it wouldn’t have worked.” “And I don’t know why you’re too stubborn to admit that it would have.” I shook my head, appreciating his sentiment but knowing the truth. “It wouldn’t have. Not while you were still in the NBA. I wouldn’t let you walk away from your dreams, too. You’d worked too damn hard to get where you were.” “And so did you. I would have chosen you.” I pinned his eyes with mine. “Exactly, which is why I had to make sure you were never given a choice.”

CHAPTER 26 Tobias A teardrop fell from her eye, sliding an inch down her cheek before she met my gaze again. I had known there was no way she would have given up dancing for the Lions if there wasn’t a good reason. She’d clearly been hurt in ways I couldn’t imagine. “Hey.” My voice was gentle as I raised her chin so she would look at me. I pulled her toward my chest and wrapped my arms around her. “Don’t cry.” She sniffed. “Things just got so … complicated.” “But.” I was trying to figure out what came next. “Whatever happened with the Lions is under the bridge, right? You’re back on the team.” “I hope so. I mean, Zoie sought me out. She

promised things would be different. But that doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy. Somehow, somewhere along the way to my dream, I got lost. And then I lost myself. I refuse to let that happen again.” Another tear fell from her lashes. Fuck. Amelia wasn’t a crier. I’d seen her at her worst, in elementary school, middle school, high school. People were assholes, and while she’d always lived in the space between all the cliques, the mean girls were everywhere. But she never let the bullies see her pain. Instead, she focused on herself, her future. The truth was, as hurt as I was over Amelia ending things, I’d known there had to be a good reason. But I’d also hoped she’d figure her shit out and call me once she did. I wanted to fix it. Wherever the pain came from, whatever she was feeling. I just wanted to make it go away. “You know you can tell me anything. That hasn’t changed.” Neither have my feelings. Her eyes darted between mine, like she was

still afraid to talk, then she sighed. “What the Lions stood for three years ago—I didn’t fit the message. Zoie is changing that message, and she wants my help.” It crushed me that Amelia had ever felt she didn’t fit when she was the only thing in my life that fit perfectly. Still. I didn’t know what message she was referring to or how it became powerful enough to make her feel lost. All I knew was that she was here, and so was I. This time, we would make it work. “Leave the party with me.” From the way her eyes widened, I knew my request was out of line. “You know I can’t.” A rumble formed in my chest. “Because of Ben?” She nodded. “Yes, and because of the Lions.” “The Lions?” She squinted, like there was something I wasn’t understanding. “Players and dancers can’t date. We shouldn’t even be talking right

now.” Shit. My chest burned with her words. “We can figure all that out. I still want you to leave with me.” She tore her eyes away from mine and stepped aside. “I came here with Ben.” Not even she believed her words. I could hear the regret in her voice. She may have arrived with someone else, but I couldn’t believe she actually wanted to leave with him. “So, you think Benjamin’s the one for you?” Her chin quivered. “I don’t know.” With a tight nod and my mind reeling, I made a decision. I wouldn’t come between Amelia and what she thought she wanted. That wasn’t how we worked. But I wasn’t going anywhere either. I’d be a constant reminder of what we had, and what could be again. “Okay.” I stepped back, giving her space to leave. “I can respect that.” “Can you?” The disappointment in her tone made me

smile. “I can. I’m only here for your happiness. Whoever you find that with, I’ll support you.” Her expression revealed her hurt. “You’ll support me being with another man?” “I support your happiness, and when you realize that it belongs with me, then we’ll be square.” Amelia’s head jerked down to her purse, where I heard a buzzing sound. She pulled it out and looked at her new message. “It’s Ben.” I ground my teeth so tight they hurt as I watched her type a response to him, then she started walking. “I have to go.” She didn’t even meet my eyes before she fled out the door, crossed the window in front of me, then pushed into the door of the building that led to the party. I would give her that one. After all this time, it would take more than a simple demand for her to leave her boyfriend to solve what had been broken. The past had dealt us both a shit hand. I didn’t want that to define us. Not when I knew we were made for so much

more.

CHAPTER 27 Amelia In a moment of quick thinking, I dashed to the restroom as soon as I returned to the party. I couldn’t face Ben and Shane right away. Not after that confrontation. My eye makeup had smudged from the tears that had burned them, my pink cheeks still felt hot from Tobias’s nearness, and my chest continued to heave from my quick getaway. I pulled in a deep breath, using my reflection to ground me in reality. Life had finally started to make sense again. After years of struggling to find my center, redemption was so close, I could taste it. All I wanted was that second chance. A second chance that would only be threatened by getting involved with Tobias. My chest filled with air, and I hung onto it

like it was my last breath, until I felt the burn expand so wide I had no choice but to exhale. Tobias had been way out of line downstairs, asking me to leave with him when he knew I’d come with someone else. We were kids three years ago. Stupid, reckless, sex-driven teens who had no concept of what was real. We were filled with dreams, and they had connected us. That didn’t mean he had a claim to me now. He’d moved on. And so had I. After smoothing down my pants and fixing my hair clip to capture the flyaways that had come loose during my jaunt, I turned to the door with a determined confidence. Tobias James wouldn’t be an issue, because I wouldn’t let him be one. When I approached, Ben’s arm slid over mine. “Everything okay? You were gone for a while.” I nodded, probably too quickly. “I’m fine, just really tired.” I looked around the room, almost forgetting that Shane had come with

us. “Where’s Shane?” Ben jerked his chin up in the direction behind me. I turned and could see his bright smile directed at a tall, handsome, darkskinned man in a tailored gray suit. They looked to be hitting it off. Suddenly, I didn’t feel so motivated to stay. “Um.” I turned to Ben. “I know we just got here, but I think I’m ready to head out.” I didn’t miss the disappointment that flashed in his eyes. Guilt weaseled its way through me. It was selfish of me to ask him to leave when he’d come here to work. “You can stay. I can schedule a ride share.” His frown deepened. “I can take you. I can always come back here after …” When he didn’t finish his sentence, my heart lurched into my throat. The “planned sex” on his agenda for tonight was not happening. I agonized over how I was going to let him down, all while saying goodbye to Zoie and Shane. And when my eyes met Tobias’s from

across the room, more guilt raced through me. None of this had been Tobias’s fault, yet I’d caused him pain, all while trying to do the opposite. We were a product of a universe that simply had not been on our side. As I eased into Ben’s passenger seat, I started to wonder why everything we’d gotten to know about each other felt superficial. I didn’t know what made him tick, what made him vulnerable. But while I craved that deeper connection, I knew it wasn’t fair to compare our relationship to the spring fling that had left hope in my heart and stars in my eyes. I’d dated enough over the years to know the problem had always been me. My heart had been taken. But when I met Ben, I truly believed things could be different. He was a man, and I’d only ever dated boys. On paper, he was all the things I thought I wanted. He didn’t play games, and he didn’t pressure or guilt me into giving more than I was ready for. He put me in the driver’s seat, and that was

where I felt safest. If I was controlling the car, no one could switch directions on me. He’d made me want to try. But the more I tried to convince myself that I should like Ben, the more I realized that was all I’d been doing. Forcing it. And now that I felt myself pulling away, I was seeing a different side of him. One that maybe wanted me to think I was in control when he’d been managing the strings all along. “We’re here.” His voice pulled me from my thoughts, and I looked up to see that we were parked at my condo. The passenger door was already open. I let Ben help me out of the car and stopped at the arched entrance to the complex. “It’s okay. I can walk the rest of the way.” I smiled, hoping he wouldn’t argue. “I know you need to get back to your party.” He grabbed my hand and squeezed. “Don’t be silly. I’ll walk you to your door.” Nerves bounced up and down my throat as we walked beneath the vine-wrapped arch

and followed the cobblestone path, past the courtyard and through the wrought iron gate. When we stopped at the door, I turned to Ben. “Thank you for the invite tonight.” He leaned in, his intention clear when his hands moved to my waist and he angled his head. “Thank you for letting me show you off.” I ignored my annoyance and played along. “It was the least I could do.” He smiled, his eyes dropping to my mouth. “I think you could do better.” My mind screamed for me to pull away, but his mouth was on mine before I could do a thing. He tasted wrong, like garlic butter and Pinot Noir, making my head feel light and dizzy. The walls I had spent so much time tearing down were rebuilding faster with each beat of my heart. “Ben, stop.” “What? Why?” He was panting, but I couldn’t understand why. “I just—I’m not ready for this.”

His forehead bunched in the middle. “Not ready for what, exactly?” “You called me your girlfriend at the party. We haven’t even talked about what we are.” I watched as his cheek darkened. “Aren’t you my girlfriend? I’m not seeing anyone else. Are you?” “No, I’m not. But that’s not the point.” “Then what is the point?” The edge to his voice had every nerve in my body on high alert. He ran a hand through his hair and turned away. His jaw hardened and relaxed a few times before he looked back at me. “The point is, you’re a sweet guy, and I really like you, but things are just really chaotic right now. I don’t think we should see each other anymore.” He let out a laugh like he thought I was joking. “Maybe we should talk about this later when you haven’t had so much to drink.” I felt his words like a slap across the face. “I don’t think we need to.” I reached behind me with my key and glanced back once to make

quick work of unlocking the door. “Have a good night, Ben.” I stepped into my dark, empty condo and turned to close the door. He watched me, his hands in his pockets and a deep-set frown etched into his face. Ben let me go, just as Tobias had let me go earlier tonight. There was only one difference. Tobias was the man I longed for when I closed my door. Three years might have passed between us, but nothing had changed. Nothing.

CHAPTER 28 Amelia “Girl, you are all kinds of wound up.” Shane lifted his hands from my shoulders as if they were poison. We were hanging out at my place, chatting while the television blared in the background and we exchanged back massages. Neither of us cared who was sneaking around with whom in Bachelor in Paradise. But I had been sitting on the floor in front of the couch, happily accepting my massage until Shane decided to vocalize how tight I was. “No,” I whined. “Don’t stop. My body is hating me right now. We haven’t even started rehearsals, and I’m already a ball of stress just thinking about it.” He sighed and placed his fingers under my shoulder blades and pushed. “What are you

stressed about? You already have Zoie on your side. She’ll put you on the court, no doubt about that.” “It’s not that. I’m dreading the thought of dealing with another Fiona. That bullying mentality may not hurt me this time, but what about the others? What if it’s all the same shit this time around, only directed at someone else?” Shane continued digging in, hitting my tense muscles right where the knots were most painful. “Then you do what no one had the balls to do for you. You stand up for them.” I swallowed, knowing he was right. “I know. And I would. I’m just—worried, I guess.” Shane leaned over my shoulder and looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language. “Listen to me. You’re not a victim in this. The power is in your hands with Zoie, the Lions, and with those girls. You’ve named your terms. If you don’t like it, walk away. But please, stop with the bitching. So many would

kill to be in your shoes. Do I need to remind you that you are working for the N-B-A?” I groaned and rose off the floor before tossing myself beside him on the couch. “No, you don’t. And I’m not bitching. I’m recalling my fears and coming up with an action plan to prevent them from sprouting again. There’s a difference.” Shane pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes like he was thinking about it. “You know what you need? Meditation.” I laughed at his random suggestion. “What does meditation have to do with anything?” “You need to get zen and let go of that toxic energy. For yourself, mostly, but I’ll be honest. Your bad juju is rubbing me all kinds of wrong.” Shane popped onto his feet and held out his hand. “Get up.” I shook my head. “No way. I’m exhausted. I’m taking a nap.” “Nope. We both know you’re going to whine and cry for the next two hours until you finally pass out. I’m not letting you do that.

You’re coming with me to hot yoga, and then we’re going to dance our asses off in whatever class is available.” “No way,” I protested while he yanked on my arm to get me on my feet. “Yes way. Get your butt off that couch and grab your shit.” I finally gave in, though I made sure to throw him a few glares in the process. After changing clothes and pulling together a bag with the essentials for me to shower and dress after getting sweaty in class, I met Shane at the door of my condo and sighed. “You happy?” He flashed me a knowing grin and held the door for me. “Yup.” Gravity was a dance complex at its core, but since it was the hub for Hollywood’s elite, it was stocked with all the essentials, and that included a gym that was exclusive to members. Inside the gym, there were additional classes anyone could take. Like yoga, Pilates, and other conditioning classes that focused on strength and balance.

It wasn’t my first time doing hot yoga. I knew to expect the intense heat the moment I entered the room, but it still felt shocking as the humidity blasted me. After I shook out my mat and took a seat beside Shane, I could feel the stress of the past couple of weeks weighing me down. I was tired, I was cranky, and I was beginning to take it out on the world around me. Class started, and I found it effortless to ignore the anxious thoughts that had been filling me and focus instead on my breathing. Inhale, exhale, repeat. Long movements, deep stretches, flexibility. I felt the stress leave my body in waves, relaxing me further and further until the gong sounded, ending our hour of heaven. Yoga was truly a magical cure for all that ailed the mind, body, and spirit. I’d forgotten just how much healing I could accomplish in a single session. But it wasn’t until I met Shane in the main hallway after class that it fully hit me how much the stress had been growing

inside me. It all came flooding to my eyes in a rush. “Baby girl, you okay?” Shane wrapped his arms around me, and I sobbed giant tears into his sweat-soaked shirt. I groaned. “I don’t know.” He pulled back and tilted his head toward mine. “You do know. You’re just not talking about it. Is it the Lions? Is it Tobias? Is it Ben? Let it out. Talk about it.” Frustration and guilt surfaced with my tears. “It’s all of it. What have I gotten myself into? I should have never said yes to Zoie and auditioned. There was a reason I put that piece of my life behind me, and now it’s like I have to face it all again. On top of that, I broke it off with Ben.” Something in Shane’s calm eyes told me he wasn’t surprised. “Because of Tobias?” I shook my head. “I’m not sure why. Ben was a nice guy, but I was feeling overwhelmed, and I just needed to quiet the noise. I thought ending things would give me

some clarity.” “And it hasn’t?” “I don’t know. I haven’t had a second to think.” Shane frowned. “Do you regret breaking it off with him?” I shook my head. “Ben’s not the one for me.” It had been a week since I’d seen Tobias, but he’d consumed most of my thoughts. Somehow, I knew I didn’t have to tell Shane that. He already knew. Shane placed his hands on my shoulders. “Stop beating yourself up, baby girl.” When I nodded, he smiled. “C’mon. Let’s go burn more steam. Let’s dance.”

CHAPTER 29 Tobias Gravity was almost exactly as I remembered it. When I stopped at reception to check in for my appointment, I almost expected to see Amelia dancing in one of the nearby studios. It had been a week since she’d left the party with Ben, and I was still stewing. While she’d finally explained more of what happened three years ago, it didn’t change the fact that she was dating another guy. I hadn’t come all the way to LA to watch some suit sweep my girl off her feet. A tall blond dude with wild-ass hair who was dressed in all black approached the desk and leaned on the counter. “You Toby James?” The cool and collective boredom of his words was oddly refreshing. He wouldn’t be kissing my ass anytime soon. I liked him. “I

am. You must be Theo.” He nodded then held out a hand to shake mine. When he released it, he straightened. “Sorry we couldn’t meet at the rec center. I taught some classes today.” He circled his finger in the air, referencing the facility. “Ever heard of us?” “Actually, yes.” I took a few quick steps to keep up with him. “A friend of mine has been coming here forever.” “Who’s that?” I opened my mouth to respond when a pair of eyes gawking at us from the waiting area distracted me. Then the whispers started. Shifting, I tried to ignore it, but when I went to glance away, more eyes were on us. What the hell? I’d only been in town for a month. “Oh, sorry, man. Let’s take this meeting into my office.” Theo started to lead the way as I blew out a breath. I lifted my hand to wave at the gawkers. “Guess I need to get used to this.”

Theo cocked a brow and smirked. “You think they’re staring at you?” He shook his head. “Nah, bro. I get that every time I leave my office.” Shock, relief, and amusement formed my next laugh. “Oh.” Then I squinted at him, curiously. “You must be a big deal in the dance world.” He raised his arms and dropped them. “To some. Been doing this since I was a kid. It was either spending time in the streets or at the rec center. That’s where I met my mentor, the owner of Gravity. He’s since passed away and his wife runs it now, but she trusts me with the high-profile stuff. Hence, why you’re meeting with me today.” Once we were in his office with the door closed, we took a seat at the two chairs on the other side of his desk. “I’ve read up on what you’ve been doing for the city through the rec center. I’m impressed and intrigued. It’s definitely something I’d love to be part of.” Theo narrowed his eyes as he tapped a

finger across his lips. “Why is that?” “To be straight with you, I don’t want a gimmicky charity gig to fill my required hours for the team. I want to be part of something meaningful and maybe help a few kids while I’m at it.” When Theo looked to be wanting more, I decided to throw it all out to the wind. “If you’re wondering why I want this, I grew up having it all. My parents took care of me financially, and basketball was something I knew would take me far. But appearances are usually deceiving, aren’t they?” Theo nodded. “Yup. They sure are. So, tell me what’s behind your perfect image.” I told him my adoption story—what I knew of it, anyway. “I became kind of obsessed with finding my birth parents.” “And did you?” “My birth mom died shortly after she gave me up. There was no mention of my birth father.” “He wasn’t listed on the birth certificate?”

I shook my head. “Nope.” “I’m sorry to hear that.” Theo assessed me for a second then leaned back in his chair. “It’s funny. When I talked to your PR, I got the feeling we’d be setting up some signings or something at the rec for promo. I was looking forward to turning you down. These kids, they’re the biggest dreamers of all, and meeting someone like you would be a highlight in their young lives, but they also need to be challenged. With dreams come hard work, and they could easily miss that point by having you waltz in there, take a few pictures, and then leave.” Has my message become that misconstrued? I knew I’d hired people to run the business side of my life, but perhaps they’d forgotten that it was my life. I wasn’t theirs to use to their advantage, to mold me to work for them. “It’s possible my PR misunderstood my intention. Let me clear it up a bit. I may come from a different homelife background, but I think I can identify with these kids on a

different level. I figure you probably already have an organized basketball team, so my thought was to come in and teach workshops weekly, monthly, or whenever we can make it work with our schedules.” “And you could commit to that? With games and practices and whatever other shit you do?” “I will make it happen. I’d probably cut back once regular season starts, due to travel, but once we’re in off season, I’d pick it back up again.” Theo looked to be considering it all, then he nodded, telling me we were about to make a deal. “I’m not going to turn down that offer.” He held out his hand. “Who was it you said you knew here at Gravity?”

CHAPTER 30 Amelia Shane and I had just rounded the corner when a familiar blonde with a high ponytail poked her head out the door. “Amie! Shane!” Lex squealed. “I’m assisting Janelle. Wanna come?” Shane pulled the door open wider and kissed her on the cheek. “Why else do you think we’re here?” She grinned at him as he passed, then she tugged me into the room and let it shut behind her. “There she is, Miss NBA,” Janelle said with a wink. “How you feeling? Still mad at me? She hugged me, squeezing a little longer than normal, which I knew was her attempt at an apology. “Not at all. Thank you for the push.”

She pulled back from the embrace, her eyes widening. “Really? Man, I really thought I overstepped this time.” I shrugged. “You did.” Then I laughed. “But I’m glad you did.” She grabbed Lex’s hand and wrapped an arm around Shane. “And I’m so glad y’all are here for this one. I think you’ll love it.” She winked then jogged to the front of the room. “Let’s get started.” Janelle had been on a Billie Eilish creative kick lately, using the indie pop and outlandish lyrics to create stories with intricate movements. It was full-out wild, but it was so much fun, the exact palate cleanser my body and mind needed after the last couple of weeks.

Outside the studio, Lex wrapped an arm around my waist as we walked lazily down

the hall while Shane stayed back to assist Janelle with her next class. She’d practically begged him, and he’d agreed as long as she dropped him off afterward so as not to hold me up. “I miss dancing with you,” Lex said. Her blue eyes peered at mine. I hugged her back. “Same. When are you teaching again? Maybe I can assist.” “I would love that. I’ll send you my schedule. Just let me know what works for you.” A door opened behind us, and Lex turned around. A smile lit her face. “Hey, babe. Ready to go?” I turned around, too, spotting Theo emerging from his office. My heart caught when I saw the figure trailing him. “Tobias? What are you doing here?” Tobias froze, obviously surprised to see me. Lex squeezed my arm. “Wait. This is Tobias? Like, the Tobias?” She hissed the last question, but everyone could hear.

Theo did a double take. “You said you knew an Amelia. Did you mean Amie? Amie’s the girl you know from Gravity?” Tobias nodded, his eyes never leaving mine. “She’s the one.” Then he smiled, sending my heart into an uncontrollable flutter. A moment of silence passed while the awkward introductions faded. “Well,” Lex drew out, her eyes darting between Tobias and me, “Theo and I have to get going. Dinner plans. But I’ll call you later, Amie.” Theo held his hand out to Tobias, and they shook. They looked ridiculously chummy. “I’ll give you a call, Toby. Thanks for stopping by.” “Thanks for meeting with me.” Lex’s eyes grew huge at the exchange. Then she tugged on Theo to start walking while looking back over her shoulder. A wicked smile lit her face before she mouthed, “He’s hot.” I watched them leave, panic rising in my chest, then into my throat, until I was squirming in my sneakers, not a clue about

what to say or do. Fuck. Tobias cleared his throat, turning my focus to him. “Are we going to keep running into each other like this?” It sounded like a tease, but from the way his eyes were dark and guarded, I couldn’t be sure. “Depends.” I shrugged. “Are you going to keep stalking me?” He bit his lip, his eyes hard on mine. “I didn’t come here to stalk you. Surprising, I know. Theo and I had some business to discuss.” I narrowed my gaze. “What kind of business would that be?” “Just some volunteer work at the rec center.” That actually sounded like a legitimate reason for him to be at Gravity, one that didn’t involve an accidental encounter with me. Disappointment formed in my chest. Then another awkward silence filled the air as I shifted from foot to foot.

Have we really grown so far apart that we have nothing to talk about? Or is it the opposite? Perhaps there’s too much to say and neither of us knows how to start. I couldn’t help taking him in, the once dreamy boy next door who’d grown into a man. Everything about him seemed bigger, taller. His build, his presence. I followed the movement of his hands combing through his hair. Even his fingers seemed to have tripled in size. Fingers that once moved inside me like a master conductor. “Tobias—” “We should—” We laughed, and as we did, some of the tension fizzled. I jumped to speak first. “You’ll love the rec. I teach dance there sometimes.” I waved a hand in the air, gesturing to Gravity. “A lot of the regulars here pitch in and volunteer when we can. The kids are amazing, and they seem incredibly grateful for the opportunities.” “I’m stoked to check it out. Maybe you’ll be

teaching on a day I’m giving a workshop. It’ll be just like the street court when we were kids.” He was smiling while my chest ached at the memory, back when Tobias was just a fantasy. I could barely breathe from his nearness. “It all comes full circle, doesn’t it?” He nodded. “I’d like to think so, yes.” We stood there, neither of us making a move to leave the other, and I didn’t know if I wanted to. “You heading out? I can give you a lift wherever you’re going.” “No.” Panic kicked in my chest, and my words rushed off my tongue. “I brought my car.” Tobias frowned. “How about coffee, then? I saw a café around the corner.” I avoided his gaze with all my will. “That’s … probably not the best idea.” I swallowed, hating the words forming in my throat. “Did you know the Lions franchise forbids their players from hanging out with

their dancers? Just think if they knew we’d—” I swallowed my next words, mortified at what I’d almost blurted out. He was fighting back a smile. “Knew we’d what?” Ugh. I’d dangled the bait, and he was nibbling on it, toying with me. I crossed my arms, hoping to resurrect the wall that had kept me safe the past three years. “We shouldn’t even be speaking right now.” “If you think I’m going to stop talking to you, then you’re wrong. We’ve known each other since we were kids. You’re the reason I’m here today.” I shook my head, hating that he felt that way. “That’s not true. Your talent brought you here.” “I had given up. And you were the one that brought me back to life. You saved me, Amelia. I won’t ever let you forget that.” He was insistent, yet so was I. I didn’t deserve to be on a pedestal. I backed up and took a step to walk around him. I had to go.

I looked around. At any moment, someone who recognized him or me or both would pop around the corner and report back to the team. Wouldn’t that be just my luck? I eyed the side exit door then glanced at Tobias. “Do you want to walk me to my car?” Without a moment of hesitation, gestured for me to lead the way.

he

It was still daylight when we exited Gravity to the private parking lot, making it easy to see that only three vehicles were in the staff lot. One belonged to Frank, the facility supervisor. One of them was mine. My guess was that the big-wheeled gray truck belonged to Tobias. They wouldn’t have wanted him to park in the main lot. “What happened to your old truck?” A beep sounded as the headlights of the truck flashed. “It’s in Malibu at a storage facility. I couldn’t take it on the road with me with all the constant repairs it needed, but I’m going to have it shipped to my place. I’ll have some spare time to get her in shape again.”

What place? Where? The corner of his mouth tipped into a smile. “You should test-drive it with me when it gets here.” I laughed. “Yeah, okay.” It was supposed to come out sarcastic, but I didn’t know if I would be able to turn him down if he actually asked. I missed that truck and his smile that came with it, that hint of playfulness I had gotten used to while we sneaked around behind everyone’s backs. The amusement faded from his eyes when we reached my car. He glanced at it then gripped the hood with his hand. “Come with me.” “Tobias, I—” He leaned in, cupping my face in his other palm. “Come with me.” I swallowed, wondering if I had the balls to deny him again. But I didn’t. Not when he said it like he already knew my choice. I drew in a shaky breath. “Okay.”

CHAPTER 31 Amelia “Where can we find the best view in Los Angeles?” I had to think about that one. Every trail I’d hiked in the area ended with a gorgeous view, but I didn’t think a hike was what he’d had in mind. That gave me an idea. “Griffith Observatory has some nice views. Not sure how parking is this time of night.” I was still thinking. “Or there’s always Canyon Lake Drive.” The look he gave me next wrapped a string around my heart and tugged gently. “Somewhere you haven’t been with a dude.” Forcing back my smile, I grabbed his phone. “Drive. I’ll program the directions so I can enjoy the ride.” I tried to ignore the pleased look on his face

when I blushed at his request, but it was almost impossible to ignore him when I handed back his phone and my fingers accidentally brushed his. Our eyes connected on a beat, the electricity so charged between us that I felt the vibration throughout my body. We rode the rest of the way in silence, like we both knew the conversation to come was a big one. Besides that, neither of us was a fan of small talk. Maybe that was why we’d always gotten along so well. We preferred hours of comfortable silence to awkward conversation. It made each moment we were together meaningful. “Almost there,” he said once we were on Western Canyon Drive. “Where should I park?” “You’ll keep going up the hill. Park on West Observatory Road. You’ll see the line of cars. I usually find a spot up close, but—” I made a face as I looked around his truck. “My car is three times smaller than this.” I grinned at

him. “You might want to park about a half mile away.” He chuckled. I didn’t understand why until he continued driving past where I recommended and almost reached the top of the hill, when he slowed. Just then, like fucking magic, a large truck was pulling out of a parallel parking spot, leaving it vacant. “You are kidding me.” He laughed again and parked with ease. Growing up in Malibu didn’t give us many opportunities for parallel parking, but I was certain he’d had his fair share of chances to get it right in Chicago. I hopped out of the truck just as he made it to my side. “So impatient to hang out with me.” I rolled my eyes. “Keep dreaming, James.” He rolled his head back, grinning. “You realize there are women out there dreaming about a night just like this, right?” I hoped he could feel the heat of my glare. “You don’t say.”

His lips pressed together like he was biting back a smile, then he took my hand in his and tugged me forward. “Let’s move. We have to make it before sunset.” This time, silence didn’t fill our gaps. It dissipated with the first view we encountered before ever reaching the observatory. “Wow.” I tugged away from him and walked to the balcony of the outlook. As I stared out over trees and rock mountains, I had an epiphany. Taking Tobias here conveyed an unspoken promise that I’d never shared the same space with another man. I hadn’t even questioned the intimacy of what that meant, because it felt natural, just like everything with Tobias, even when the world was trying to pull us apart. And that was when I allowed myself to admit the truth that had been brimming in the back of my mind. Ending things with Ben was undoubtedly the right thing to do. No matter how great he looked in a suit, or seemed to have his shit

together, he and I simply did not fit. To top it off, my thoughts, my feelings, my actions weren’t fair to him. My choice had always been Tobias, even when he wasn’t around for me to choose. My heart still belonged to him. A breeze whooshed by, tossing my hair. I breathed into the wind as it continued to beat against me, like the week hadn’t been enough for me to endure. And then strong arms wrapped around me from behind as my insides softened to putty. It had been only a week of knowing Tobias was back in town to stay, and I already knew I was in trouble. Neither of us dared a word as he held me there, the hills of LA a beautiful sight before us, but it was his touch, his breath, his nearness that stole my focus. We’d never even made it to the observatory, but I knew what his mission was in wanting to take me somewhere with a view. It was reminiscent of the one we’d shared in Big Sur, and I couldn’t ignore the rush of those memories that surfaced in the moment.

We stood in silence for a long time while Tobias held all of me—physically, emotionally, and metaphorically. His presence grounded me in a way that only my soul could feel. He owned me. All it took was the admission, and for the first time in a very long time, I felt at peace. Once upon a time, Tobias had called me his moon. His rock. His strength. The one he reached for when the waters got rough. As risky as it was to admit it, I still wanted that to be true. “Should we keep going?” I knew Tobias was referring to the observatory, but my response was to a different interpretation of the question. “Yes.” And off we went. He tugged me through the observatory, stopping at each exhibit like we had time to waste when I thought we’d wasted enough already. He tortured me slowly, deliberately, in a way that charged my heart and soul like

no other man could. I might have recently broken it off with Ben, but emotionally, I’d belonged to someone else first. Guilt faded with the soft breeze and was replaced with Tobias’s everything. I had been selfish when I walked away from him three years ago. Now that he was back, I couldn’t keep up the walls that had safeguarded my heart. He needed to know everything. The terrace was expansive, giving us an immediate panoramic view of downtown Los Angeles. We marveled at the sprawling hills and the gleaming water of the Pacific. And as the sun started to set, we turned to each other. “I’m sorry.” I said it softly, but he heard it. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you everything about why I left you in the hotel. Why it meant so much for me to take care of myself after everything that had happened. Things had gotten dark, Tobias. I was embarrassed, I was heartbroken, I was confused and lost. The last thing I wanted was to lose you, too, but I didn’t know how to do it all.”

“Amelia,” he started, his whisper wrapping around me with the pull of the wind. “I’m here now. You can tell me now.” I nodded as my eyes squeezed tight. I told him about how it had all started. About the trip to Hawaii, where I was Photoshopped into a new person—someone without the curves that thickened me beyond their expectations. I told him about the workout plan that had exhausted me more than energized me, and about the meal plan that hadn’t changed my body type to their satisfaction. “At some point, I started to believe the lies,” I confessed, embarrassment heating my insides. “I started to forget that it wasn’t them who needed to love me, it was me who needed to love me. But I was so determined to make it onto the court for a game that I started pushing myself too hard. I was barely eating. I was killing myself in the gym. I desperately wanted to lose the weight they thought I should lose, so I could look the way they

thought I should look.” His arms squeezed around me as he hung onto every shaky word. “The day I finally got approved to dance was the day you came to town.” I filled in the blanks, letting him know how I fought for my position, for my body, for my dream. Until I realized it had never been worth it and quit. “A dream should never cost someone their soul.” “But you recognized what you were doing to your body and you stopped. You’re strong, Amelia. Don’t you see that?” I scoffed and shook my head. “I’m lucky is what I am. The road I’d started down was dark and deep, and not many can just put the brakes on bad habits like that.” “But you did.” “It could have been worse. And it has been for others in my shoes. When the pressure is that high and the stakes are even higher, you’d do anything for your dream, right or wrong.” I let out a sigh. “Sometimes I wonder

if I truly would have had the strength to stop after getting a taste of a live game. I can only imagine the thrill. The rush of the audience invading my veins. What if one game wasn’t enough?” Tobias’s frown was deep, and I knew my words were hitting his heart just as much as they were pouring out of mine. “It would have been. I don’t know why you’re stealing credit from yourself when you were strong enough to know that wasn’t the way to get what you want. You’re beautiful. Your body aside, you’re the sexiest woman I’ve ever met. And it’s not just all of your talk about physics.” I laughed as I swiped at a tear, then I sniffed. “Well, now you know everything. While you were at the top of your game, I was lost. After everything that happened, I didn’t want the dream anymore. The dream was a lie. I had to start over.” “You could have talked to me. I would have understood all of that.” I groaned. “Oh, Tobias. I was eighteen and

insecure. And you were you. Do you know how intimidating that was for me? Did I ever tell you why I started dreaming about dancing for the NBA to begin with?” He shook his head, and I blushed and searched his eyes, praying he wouldn’t be totally freaked out by my next confession. “My crush on you began the moment I laid eyes on you, but I remember when it got to the point of no return. I was thirteen and would beg Trinity to go with me to the court whenever you and the neighbor boys would play a game. I just wanted to be close to you. I thought those silly dance moves would make you notice me. And then when you told us it was your dream to make it to the NBA, it became mine, too.” He was silent for the longest time. At least it felt like it. My stomach rolled, and I felt a tightness in my chest. Maybe I should have kept all that to myself. My pulse raced as his eyes slowly moved to mine. “Let me get this straight. You’re saying I

could have hooked up with you when you were thirteen?” Laughing, I smacked his shoulder and pointed. “No. Gross. I didn’t even have boobs yet.” He raised his brows. “Um, yes you did. The day you started wearing sports bras to dance around in was one of the saddest days ever.” I growled. “We aren’t talking about my boobs right now.” “Fine. But I won’t stop thinking about ’em.” I smacked his arm, and he laughed. “Just because I inspired you to dance for the NBA doesn’t make it any less your dream.” “True, but when they wouldn’t even let me dance, it was like the NBA no longer connected us. And I thought—” His expression twisted into understanding, but it seemed to be mixed with something else —frustration. “You thought I wouldn’t want to bother if you didn’t dance for the NBA? That’s bullshit.” He shook his head as his frown deepened. “Don’t you think that assumption

was a little unfair? After everything? I could have never thought less of you. The Lions, on the other hand …” I swallowed. “Maybe it was unfair, but you were so far away, and your popularity was rising by the day. Are you aware of all the Toby James hashtags there are on social media? And of all the dating rumors that were going around? From what it looked like, you had moved on pretty fast.” He was fuming, with his hands on his hips and his head down. “Wow. I never moved on. I never even dated. And man, did I get shit for it from the guys. But I didn’t care. I wanted you, Amelia. Just you.” I stood and hooked my fingers around his belt loops. “And I wanted you. But even if I’d gotten over all that, I needed to figure out what was next for me.” “So you walked away from me.” He rested a hand on his neck and squeezed. I nodded. “You had to do you. And I had to focus on getting healthy again, on finding new

dreams. And it worked. My life started changing faster than I could keep up with. I became obsessed with booking shows and trying to prove I wasn’t a failure in the world of dance.” “And now? Did you have time to prove to yourself that you weren’t a failure?” I swallowed. His blue eyes were so intense as they gazed into mine, like they wanted to devour me. “I did.” “And you’re taking care of yourself again?” I nodded. “And you’re ready to give the team a second chance?” “Yes.” He nodded firmly before leaning in and wrapping his arms around me. “Good,” he said, and I could feel the heat of his breath as it caressed my skin. “Then I want my second chance.” A shiver shook free and ran up my spine, spreading over my skin so fast it took my breath with it.

A second chance. Is that possible? The answer came with my next heartbeat. “Players and dancers can’t date, remember?” He cursed under his breath. “Fuck that. I didn’t wait this long to be told no.” I swallowed. “I’m not telling you no.” His gaze was on me, hope seeping through. “I’m just telling you … not yet.” “What does that mean? We’re supposed to just be friends?” My eyes softened. “Is there something wrong with being my friend?” He sighed. “No, but I want more than friendship with you. Call me selfish, but I’ve waited too damn long already. The season ends in eight months. That wait would be agony.” “We’ve already waited three years.” His hold tightened around me, forcing me to gasp. He leaned in so I could feel his lips on my cheek. “And I don’t want to wait a second more.” “We have to.”

He moved in, his breath in my ear as his lips grazed it with his next words. “You think you can wait?” he challenged. “I won’t make it easy.” His words rumbled, and I felt them deep in my chest. “We’re in the same city again. And you know what they say about gravity and proximity.” I squinted at him with an amused smile while he laughed. “What do they say?” He tilted my chin so our lips were almost touching, just a breath of air between us as he whispered. “The closer objects are, the stronger their gravitational pull.” I gripped his shirt, holding him close yet knowing I should be pushing him away. “I just broke things off with Ben. He wouldn’t understand—” My attempt to push him away died on my lips. Why was I pushing him away when all I wanted was for him to be close? “Ben was never the one for you. He just doesn’t know it yet.” His hooded eyes searched mine. “But you do, don’t you? You’ve always belonged to me. My moon.”

Emotion filled my chest. “The moon belongs to everyone.” I whispered it with a smile, my resolve slipping. His smile matched mine. “Isn’t that in a song?” “Maybe.” He bit his bottom lip with an ease that had my heart beating fast. “You forget my profession. I’m not above stealing.” He rested his cheek against mine. “Try to resist me, Amelia.” Another challenge. One I knew I would happily lose. If I could.

CHAPTER 32 Amelia One week had passed since the night Tobias asked for his second chance, and from the eerie silence that followed, I knew he was putting the ball in my court. He wanted his second chance but only if I was his to take. While we were both working for the Lions, I just didn’t see how it could work. The last thing I wanted was another relationship full of secrets and lies. It couldn’t possibly end well, just like it hadn’t ended well with Trinity. It was Monday afternoon and our first day of group rehearsals. When I walked through the double doors of our reserved studio at the UCLA Training Center, Zoie wasn’t there yet, but a group of early bird dancers were. They crowded the center of the floor, facing each

other and stretching as they chatted. I approached their circle and sat. “Hi, ladies,” I said, my smile already on full wattage. “Hey,” they all returned with timid but friendly smiles. From auditions, I knew the girls were Bridgette, Martina, and Tarryn. They were returning from the previous year and seemed nice enough, but I wasn’t taking any chances. They had shared a team with Fiona last year, which meant they’d witnessed the toxic dynamic that I had. I could only hope that they were on the good end of it. “Hey, Amie,” a voice called from behind me. I turned, feeling an instant rush of relief when Stephanie sat beside me, a smile as bright as mine on her face. Stephanie had been on the team last year, too, but I only knew her from classes at Gravity. “Aren’t you a breath of fresh air?” I said as we embraced. She pulled back slightly, her eyes darting to

the circle of girls, amusement quickly forming in her expression. “Are you trying to make friends?” She cringed and laughed. “Don’t you know how Lionesses are? They’re like actual cats. Don’t approach them. When they’re ready, they’ll approach you.” I rolled my eyes to mask my discomfort. That was exactly what I had been afraid of. I would need to find a way to win the girls over. “Yeah, well, I’ve dealt with worse. And I didn’t join this team again for the immature rivalries. We should be acting like a family. A cohesive unit.” “Tell that to the sixteen dancers who get cut every performance.” I shook my head and faced her, full-on. “That’s not going to happen anymore. Everyone will get their chance to dance.” She narrowed her eyes at me. “I’m sure your experience on the team three years ago was different from what I experienced last year. It was hell. It’s a miracle this many of us wanted to stay.”

“Why did you decide to stay?” I had to admit that I’d been curious. Stephanie leaned back on her hands. “Figured things couldn’t be half as bad with Fiona and Coach Sparks gone.” Then she looked around to make sure no one else was listening. “You know why Fiona got fired, right?” I shook my head, my heart beating fast. “She got caught selling pills. She tried to tell me they were energy pills.” Stephanie snorted through her laugh. “Bullshit. They were prescription drugs. Adderall.” My eyes shot open. “You’re kidding me.” Stephanie shook her head. “Nope. Her, Margie, and a few other veterans got busted after we all had to take a random drug test. By the last game of the season, we were down to sixteen dancers, and a temporary coach from the developmental team. Things got pretty crazy. I’m hopeful with Zoie things will be better.” Stephanie’s words stuck with me as new

girls walked into the studio. I greeted each of them and waved them over to expand the circle. I wouldn’t go through another year of cliques and hierarchy and cattiness. I wanted the dream, and that included becoming a family with my dance sisters. When all the girls had arrived and Zoie was still running late, I hopped onto my feet and faced the dancers. “What do you say we get started with some warm-ups so we’re ready when Zoie gets here?” A few nods were exchanged, and that was enough for me. I jogged over to the stereo and powered it on then synced the stereo Bluetooth to my phone. As I was scrolling through my playlist, I looked up, swallowing when I noticed Bridgett scanning my body in the mirror. My stomach rolled as Fiona’s voice chirped in the back of my mind. I looked away just as fast. Over the last three years, my body hadn’t changed much. My thighs were still thick with muscles, and my curves were stronger than

ever. I was proportional. Most importantly, I was healthy. “I love your leggings.” My eyes shot up into the mirror’s reflection to find Bridgett still staring at my ass, but this time my face heated for a whole other reason. Embarrassment. She hadn’t been checking me out for flaws at all. “Thanks.” I shot her a grin. I returned to my phone and found one of my dance playlists and pushed Play before jogging to the front of the room with a clap of my hands. “All right, everybody on your feet.” I still remembered the warm-up combination from three years ago, but I decided to add my own flair to it and change it up for the returners. The girls were slow to rise, but I was a little surprised when they actually did. I considered that another win. By the time Zoie finally walked in, we were running the jazz routine from the auditions.

Zoie scanned the room with a smile on her face and a clap of her hands. “Wonderful, girls. Thank you for starting without me.” She threw me a wink then jumped in line with the front row. The girls laughed, and by the time warm-ups were done, the energy was strong. “Congratulations again to all of you. It was a challenging decision, but I’m proud to say we chose the best of the best, and you’re all standing here now.” Cheers and applause broke out, energizing the room. “It is my mission to build a team of the best talent that court has ever seen, and you were selected to lead the way. I expect you all to be leaders, sisters, friends, athletes. I want to see your heart every step of the way. Is that clear?” “Yes!” we all shouted. I exchanged a glance

with Stephanie, who shrugged like she still wasn’t convinced but would go with the flow. Zoie went on to let us know all the policies that would be changing, and they mostly had to do with everything she and I had already discussed. More focus on performance rather than body fat. More pay for events. Game nights would be danced by all, based on availability. “What about team captain?” Bridgett asked. “Will you be holding auditions?” Zoie nodded. “Team captain was my next topic. Since there are so many changes to this year’s team, I have decided to evaluate you as the weeks go on and make the decision when the time is right. With that said, if anyone here does not want to be captain, please speak to me privately.” My heart immediately started beating fast at the mention of the role I had yet to think about. Being captain would not only ensure my voice was heard on the team, but it would help me build that comradery I knew could

exist among a group like this. Bridgett’s hand shot up again. “But you’re choosing from veterans, right? That’s how it worked last year.” Zoie gave her a tight-lipped smile. “This is not the team it used to be.” Bridgett slumped into her spot. “Like I said,” Zoie warned, “there are going to be changes this year. Some in your favor, some not so much. My team captain selection process will take as much time as I need to sort out the girls that I think will make the strongest leaders for this new team. Just be yourselves, girls. Get along. Help your fellow cubs out, and I promise we’ll all be fiercer for it.” Bridgett turned to glance at me over her shoulder, worry written all over her face. I couldn’t be sure, but she looked at me as if I were a threat. When she turned back around, Stephanie leaned in to my ear and laughed. “What did I tell you? Half human, half cat.”

I shook my head, signaling that I didn’t care. “I’ve dealt with worse.” Stephanie grinned. “Good. ‘Cause I like you. Just don’t turn your back for too long.”

CHAPTER 33 Amelia After practice, I showered and changed into my watermelon-pink bikini top and matching cheeky bottoms for a pool party that Lex and Theo were throwing. It was something they did on occasion when we all happened to be in town. Giving myself a once-over in the mirror, I smiled, more than happy with the reflection staring back at me. It had taken a long time to love my body after leaving the Lions. It took spending time with my peers at Gravity and surrounding myself with all-out sexy and professional athletes for it to click. Their outfits weren’t what made them look good—it was their confidence. But while I’d outgrown my need to hide my thighs, it wasn’t a new confidence

that came from dieting or impossible workout regimens. It came from fueling my body with things that made me feel good on the inside. It came from reminding myself, every time I started to have a negative thought, that my body didn’t deserve the abuse my mind had inflicted on it. And it came from learning to see the blessings in what I’d always considered flaws. All of that rewiring in my heart and brain had taken time. Eventually, I started to love the way my ass couldn’t completely fit into swimsuit bottoms and the way my smooth thighs jiggled a little around the thick muscle—a result of strength training and conditioning. I felt in control of the inside, and that was all that mattered. “She’s here.” Lex tossed her hands into the air when I arrived. She jogged over to me from the cabana and wrapped me in a hug. Her fair skin was flushed from the sun, her blond hair already wet from a recent swim, and her entire demeanor spoke of relaxation. Looking around, I realized Lex had meant

what she said about it being a small party. Shane lay in the cactus raft near Wayne, who slept on a lounge chair, all while Theo scrubbed the grill. “Want a drink?” Lex pointed at the cooler she’d just reached into, then wiggled her water. “I’ve got a music video next month, so I’m taking it easy, but Theo packed this bad boy with all our favorites.” “Oh, I’m drinking. First day of rehearsals is done, and I killed it, thank you very much. I’m celebrating.” Lex grinned. “Not surprised at all. Do you detect any troublemakers yet?” I twisted my lips. “Nothing that can’t be managed.” Just then a “Yahoo!” came from the opposite side of the pool. We turned just in time to see Theo flying through the air while hugging his knees. And then his ass hit the water with a large splash. We laughed, and Lex handed me her glass. “I’m not letting you celebrate alone. Pour me

one of whatever you’re having and bring them over here.” Lex walked to the edge of the pool, waiting for Theo to come up for air. When he did, he grinned at her before lifting himself from the edge and aiming his lips at hers. She leaned down, whispered something in his ear, and kissed him. “Come in,” he begged. I averted my eyes. Lex and Theo were always so adorable, so strong and confident, it was hard to imagine there was ever a time when they had hated each other’s guts. I poured two vodka sodas and squeezed in some lime juice, swished it around, then slipped off my sundress. Lex was sitting at the edge of the pool with Theo between her legs when I walked over. He was facing the water and tossing a ball with Shane and Wayne. I waved at the rest of the boys when they spotted me, and I handed Lex her drink. “Hey, neighbor.” Shane blew me a kiss.

“Hey, Shane. Hey, Wayne.” Theo spun around and lifted his hands. “What about me?” I tilted my head with a smile. “Hi, Theo. Thanks for the invite. I didn’t realize it would be such an intimate gathering.” He shrugged. “I don’t want a shitload of people here getting drunk and fucking up my stuff. There’s just one more person coming.” Lex and I whipped our heads toward him. “Who?” Something about Theo’s eyes passed over me and made my heart balloon in my chest. “That ball player who’s going to volunteer at the rec. Toby James.” “What?” Lex and I both shrieked. Nerves were zinging through my body like a pinball machine. “He’s a cool guy,” Theo said in defense. “And he lives close to here.” He does? Heat filled my cheeks. Theo looked at me like we’d all lost our minds. “You two are friends, right?”

Lex busted out with a silly grin. “Good question, Amie. You two are friends, right?” “Yeah,” Shane chimed. He had his arms over a raft that carried Wayne, and he was pushing it toward us. “Tell us. We’re all dying to know.” The three of them laughed as Theo scrunched his face. “I don’t know what I’m missing, but I’m not sure I want to.” “Guys are so fucking clueless,” Shane said. “Toby is Amie’s fuck buddy from back in the —” Silence swallowed his sentence as his eyes caught on something behind us. We all froze. Shit. “Well, this isn’t going to be awkward at all.” I snapped my head toward the voice that came from the side entrance of the back patio. My face was on fire with mortification while Tobias’s smile lit his entire face. He’d heard every word. Everyone burst out laughing. Theo hopped out of the pool first and strutted to Tobias, knocking fists with him.

“Sorry about all that. That’s what I get for serving them alcohol before noon. Hope we didn’t scare you away.” Tobias’s eyes locked on mine while an electric current drifted between us. “Nah. Staying won’t be a problem.” In the week since I’d last seen Tobias, there hadn’t been much opportunity to chat. Between fittings, promotional events, and training, I’d barely been able to pick up my phone. And that was just my schedule. Tobias had been in full training mode for the upcoming season. “I wonder if Theo could play basketball,” Lex mused while our eyes tracked Theo and Tobias. They were walking around the pool toward the cabana, deep in conversation. “He’s tall enough,” I said with a shrug. “And beefy enough.” I laughed as she gazed dreamily at her boyfriend. I took that moment to steal a long look at Tobias, who had just accepted a beer from

Theo. The two looked like they’d known each other for years. “When did they become friends?” Lex shook her head. “Beats me. I know as much as you.” She waited a beat. “It’s cool, though, right? It’s probably a good thing Theo and Tobias get along if …” Her lips curled into a smile. “I think it’s too soon to be going there, Lex.” “So…” she started, and I knew she was trying to be respectful. “If you’re about to ask for all the juicy gossip, I don’t have any. Tobias and I are just friends.” “You don’t actually believe that, do you?” “It can’t be anything more. Not unless we want to jeopardize our careers, and I’m actually liking the team this go-around. Besides, it’s not like we’re going to start hooking up just because I’m single again. It’s been years since we’ve been together. I’m not even sure we’re still compatible.” Lex gave me a knowing smile. “But he’s

here, and you don’t seem upset about it. How would Zoie feel about that?” I was fully aware that being at a private pool party with Toby James was all kinds of wrong, but it wasn’t like I was going to just get up and drive home. We could handle it. And we were among friends whom I trusted. “It’s just a pool party, and you all can keep a secret.” Her smirk said it all. “Okay, sure, but are you gonna be all right when Mr. Basketball Man over there takes off his shirt?” Heat scaled the length of my neck as I turned to find Tobias one-handedly removing his shirt. His back muscles rippled beneath tanned skin, stealing my breath. I swallowed, forcing myself back into the conversation. “There isn’t a single inch of Tobias James I haven’t already seen.” “But that was three years ago.” Lex lifted her brows. “You never know what else has changed. He’s like a whole new masterpiece just waiting to be explored.”

I shot her my narrowed-side-eye, making her giggle. “You are ridiculous.” But her laugh was infectious, and soon, I was laughing, too. While we had been talking, Shane and Wayne had moved closer to us. Shane groaned. “Is it so awful that I want your man to get in this pool just so I can see him wet?” Shane practically purred his words while glancing over his shoulder. Wayne rolled his eyes. “Amie won’t share. Maybe it’s time you get yourself your own man.” Shane glared at Wayne while Lex and I exchanged glances. I was sure she was thinking the same exact thing I was. It was no secret that Wayne had been crushing hard on our best friend, but Shane was Shane, oblivious to love when it was staring him right in the face. “Oh!” Lex turned to me with bright eyes as she raised her drink. “Let’s cheer to your first practice. Tell us all about it.” A smile bloomed across my face, then I

launched into a recap of the morning, ending with, “I want to be captain.” Shane gasped and reeled back, then he floated up to me with a big ass grin. “Redemption, baby girl. One taste and now you want it all. Isn’t it sweet?” Lex threw her arms around me. “I am so damn proud of you. After everything you’ve been through with that team, it’s like the stars are finally aligning.” I smiled. “It does feel that way.” I didn’t want to mention that the stars had a lot more work to do before aligning. My eyes floated to Tobias and Theo, who were making their way over with a tray of drinks. No, if the stars were aligned, Tobias would be mine, and no rules would be keeping us apart. Theo passed shots around while Tobias sat beside me and slipped his feet in the water. He sat so close, his bicep and thigh grazed against me. I looked at him, waiting for him to acknowledge me. When he finally turned, he was grinning.

“Hey, Captain.” My brows lifted. “Good news travels fast.” “Or Lex was just talking loud,” he said, shrugging. I laughed before shrugging in mock cockiness. “Yeah, well, Zoie still has to choose me, but I want it.” Theo handed me a shot. “And you’ll get it.” I held up my shot along with the others, but my eyes were on Tobias. “Here’s to more responsibility.” “Nah.” His voice was a soft rasp. “Here’s to hard work and accomplishments.” “I’ll drink to that.” Meanwhile, Theo was making a completely separate toast to hard work and talent, but his words didn’t completely register with me. My focus was on Tobias, who still held my gaze— until the very last second, when I threw back my head to take the shot of Fireball. It tasted terrible going down, the liquid fire tearing up the back of my throat. Tobias laughed at the face I made and took

the empty glass from my hand. “Besides that champagne I saw you chugging at the sponsor party, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you drink before.” “Really?” His comment made me think. “Trin and I used to sneak all the alcohol to her room, but we never drank anything this—” I twisted my lips, still tasting the afterburn. “Potent.” Tobias laughed again, his eyes softening on me before he handed over my vodka soda. “Here, take a sip of this.” I swallowed as I wrapped my fingers around it, expecting him to release the drink once it was firmly in my hold. But I forgot that Tobias was a magician, and his offer was only a sleight-of-hand tactic to get closer, a move I didn’t realize was happening until his lips were pressed to my ear. A chill ran up my spine because of our proximity. “You’re not wearing shorts over your suit.” He grinned in reference to our surfing trip. “I

like it.” Something flashed in his eyes. “Tell me you remember surfing with me.” I sucked in a breath, combating the emotions that flew at me full-force. How could I have forgotten? It was one of our better days together, followed by a horrific end. “We caught some good waves that day.” “We did. We had fun waiting for them, too.” His eyes darkened. My cheeks burned, and I laughed. “Good to know you carry that memory around in your pocket.” “Memories were all I had left.” With our gazes locked, I wondered how I had gone three entire years without Tobias James and how I could deny him anything now that he was back in my life. I tilted my head as a world of emotion crashed like waves against my chest. “I’m glad you came.” Something flashed in his eyes. “Theo was giving me a tour of the rec today and mentioned you’d be here. When he invited me

to come, too, I couldn’t say no. I wanted to see you again.” It was all so simple to him. He wasn’t thinking about the repercussions of getting caught together, even if we were nothing more than friends. The NBA wouldn’t care about the details. Fraternization of any kind was a serious offense. “No one can know about this. Everyone here will be sworn to secrecy. Can you handle that, Tobias? More secrets?” I could see the mix of frustration and sadness in his eyes, but determination persevered. “I’d much rather live with you in secret, than without you in a lie.” My breath hitched in my throat. “Then in secret, it is.”

CHAPTER 34 Tobias Amelia switched to water after her second drink, and part of me was grateful. As much as I loved watching her let loose, my time with her was too infrequent to waste a single second. But I was also desperate to get her alone. She swam and laughed with her friends, looking like a hot mermaid in her bright-pink bikini that revealed almost every inch of her ass. The only time I’d ever seen Amelia so confident was when she danced. After the sun had given us a beating, we’d moved the party over to the shade. There was a narrow stretch of land nearby and a patch of concrete with a basketball hoop, where Theo and I were taking turns shooting with a couple of balls.

“I talked to Phil before I got here, and he’s pulling some guys together for the workshop this week. We may not get the turnout since it’s so soon, but it might create a buzz.” Theo nodded. “Yeah, man. I already teased some of the kids with the idea, and they lost their shit. I know your calendar is hectic and all, but we should try to set some type of schedule. The kids thrive off consistency. It’s what keeps bringing them back, and I’d prefer them hanging at the rec to most of their other options. Setting expectations and following through is everything.” “Of course. Let me see what I can do.” I took the next shot and earned the sweet swishing sound as the ball dropped through the hoop. The sound of laughter directed my attention to the two girls walking up to the sidelines. A pang hit my chest at the memory of Trinity and Amelia and how close they used to be. But the moment I started to grieve for their friendship and the way things once were, I

was blasted by the memory of the fight we’d had because of Amelia the night before I left for LA, and how she’d accidentally let it slip that she’d known about my adoption long before me. I couldn’t even think about my sister without anger burning my chest because of her betrayal. If it hadn’t been for Otis riding my ass and reminding me daily why I’d come to Chicago, I didn’t know if I would have stayed. Lex approached Theo and wrapped her arms around him while batting her lashes. “Amie and I get next game. Two on two.” I looked over to see Amelia walking toward me with a gleam in her eyes and a demeanor much more casual than when I’d walked in. She twisted playfully as she stopped in front of me. Her hair was still wet from the pool, and the small black top she’d changed into did little to hide her perky nipples. The sexy dip in her waist was magnified by the way her strong hips spilled into her jean shorts. And although she’d placed a light, gray sweater

over her arms, the rest of her was still visible. I had never gotten over that day at the beach before we went surfing, when Amelia had revealed an insecurity about herself that I hadn’t understood. To me, she was perfect, and I had wanted her to see it, too. Now, the woman who stood before me had a confident glow about her, in a way that rendered me absolutely speechless. I’d been sneaking glances at her all day, although I supposed I hadn’t been very sneaky since she’d caught me on more than one occasion. And each time, I would watch her skin change color. Nothing gave me an instant hard-on more than Amelia reacting without me even touching her. She approached and put her hands on the ball that I had gripped between my palms. “Hey,” she greeted with a grin. With one tug, she pulled it into her possession and swiveled it into the crook of her arm. “Hey.” I flashed her a smile. “You on my team?”

“If you want to win.” My playful Amelia was back, and I would do whatever I could to keep her. “I played a few games with you when we were in Big Sur, and I don’t recall you ever winning.” I winked and punched at the ball, jumping for it when it popped free. “Hey.” She chased me, gripping my hips and attempting to pull me back as I reached for the ball. When I stood, she moved in front of me again and stretched for it, but she slipped, grabbing my hands instead. “Foul.” “What?” she shrieked. “You’re reaching.” She glared and lunged for the ball again. This time, I released my grip, letting it fall between us. She stomped on it with a foot and crossed her arms over her chest, drawing my eyes to her breasts. “You’re only better than me because you’re taller.” I bit the inside of my cheek while scanning her face. “I’m not sure if that’s true, but want

to test the theory?” When she didn’t answer, I smiled. “Let’s see you make a shot from right here. An easy three-pointer.” She glanced at the basket, doubt clouding her features. “You’ll just knock it away.” I shook my head and held out my hands. Nervous laughter shook through her. “What are you doing?” “Just trust me.” She looked to be contemplating my words for a moment before rolling her eyes. “Fine.” Small, smooth fingers slid onto mine, and for a second, I wanted to pretend they were mine to hold forever. “Okay.” I swallowed. I placed her hands on my shoulders while mine moved to her waist. “I’ll hold you steady. Step up.” She giggled and pushed onto the ball, wobbling as I held her tighter to keep her balanced. “You okay?” She nodded. “Just don’t let go.” “Not a chance, Birthday Girl.”

Her eyes locked on mine, our connection practically crackling through the air. She had to be feeling it, too. “Now what?” Her voice came out small, her eyes slightly hooded. It took everything for me not to slam my lips to hers. Maybe she’d forgotten how well we fit together, but I never had, and I would make it my mission to get her to remember. “Hey, Theo,” I called with a quick glance over my shoulder. “Toss Amelia your ball. We’re testing a theory.” “Sure thing.” Theo grinned and threw it on a slight arch to Amelia, giving her no choice but to release her grip on me so she could catch it. “What theory is this?” Lex asked with a laugh. Amelia tilted since she couldn’t use me as leverage, so I steadied her again by bringing our bodies closer and tightening my grip on her waist. Her arms were above her head, her face only inches from mine, and her breaths

were coming fast. I’d almost forgotten that Lex had asked a question. “Amelia thinks my height is the only reason I’m better than her at basketball.” I narrowed my eyes on the woman in my arms, challenging her. “Now that we’ve leveled the playing field.” My lip tipped up at the corner. “Shoot.” She broke our gaze, zooming in to her target. Then, after a single inhale, she sent the ball on its journey. Technically, it was a perfect shot, her arch on point, the pressure behind the ball just right. Looking over my shoulder, I watched amazed as the ball hit the backboard and dropped through the net, hitting the concrete with a solid bounce. “Yeah,” she cheered with a pump of her arms and a smile lighting her face. “That’s my girl, Amie,” Shane called from the lounge chair he was now sharing with Wayne. “Show the boy how it’s done.” Amelia’s arms fell over my shoulders, our chests touching while our gazes met again. My

hands slid around her waist and hooked her to me. “How did it feel, hotshot?” “Pretty good. Guess that means I was right. What do I win?” My focus fell briefly to her lips. “Whatever you want.” My stare burned into hers, and I waited for her to make her demands. “I want you to take me to your place.”

CHAPTER 35 Amelia Tobias insisted on driving to his house, promising to take me back to my car when we were done. When that would be, I didn’t know, but I didn’t care either. However long he wanted to keep me was fine—at least in theory. It was a bold thing for me to ask when we still had our jobs on the line. But I couldn’t keep pretending I was strong enough to stay away. When we ended up only a mile away, at a gated property tucked in a historic Hollywood Hills neighborhood, my heart sped. “Is this your home?” The one-story Spanish villa appeared classic and timeless. It was located on a sprawling hilltop that overlooked the city. Tobias seemed hesitant to respond, then he

shrugged. “It’s a rental. Not quite sure if I’d call it home yet.” Tobias had always been sensitive about the word home. I figured it had to do with his adoption, and it broke my heart to think that maybe he would never feel at home anywhere again. “Can you show me around?” His shy smile grew and made my heart balloon with happiness. He reached for my hand and led the way, taking me up the cobblestone driveway to the front porch. I was awestruck. Not that I was new to a wealthy lifestyle but because whatever Tobias was about to show me was his in every sense of the word. The front door opened to a spacious living room with a fireplace and wide windows that overlooked an enormous backyard with a pool. He hadn’t even taken me through the entire house when I turned to him. “It’s incredible.” He wrinkled his brows as if he wasn’t sure

he agreed. “You think?” I wrapped an arm around the one hanging by his side and tugged. “Yes. Show me more.” He led me into the kitchen, my eyes immediately widening at the beautiful tile backsplash and gas stove. Even the appliances looked amazing, but the Tobias I knew from three years ago wouldn’t have noticed, touching nothing except the refrigerator and microwave. We padded past the living room and down a hallway that led to three bedrooms, including a master. When he brought me back into the main room, I realized how the house was barely decorated. In fact, moving boxes were in each room and appeared untouched. It almost looked as if he hadn’t made up his mind whether he was moving in or out. I was still the space when he opened the sliding glass door that led to the patio and pool. “You coming?” He smiled. Something about his expression flipped my

stomach. He was happy I was there, and it felt good to get a personal glimpse into his life. His back patio was expansive, filled with a large overhang for shade, and an even bigger yard. An infinity pool sat farther back, and as water spilled over the edge, it almost looked as if it would cascade into the Hollywood Hills. “This is amazing.” “You haven’t seen anything yet.” He winked and held out his hand. He took me around to the side of the house, where a detached structure sat. A “casita,” he called it. “This is where the magic happens,” he teased as he gestured to the stacks of weights lined up against floor-to-ceiling mirrors. “I can see that.” I laughed. “This is, like, the ultimate man cave right here.” He grinned. “I guess so, huh?” Our flirtation was confusing my insides, tying me in knots and unraveling just as fast. To be near Tobias again after so many years

was one thing—I was still getting used to that. But the familiarity of what we’d felt toward each other back then had my mind grasping for reasons it could all work out now. We walked to the patio, where I sat on a big red couch while he went inside to grab us two waters. When he sat down beside me and handed over the water, I curled my legs under me and took a few sips. “What’s Lex and Theo’s story? They seem like a good couple.” I smiled. “They’re the best. But as for their story—” I made a face. “It’s a long and complicated, forbidden one. I don’t think we have the time.” I looked at him and laughed. He grinned. “Long and forbidden. Sounds familiar.” That was all it took for the fluttering in my chest to start again. “You know,” he said, “I never wanted you to be my secret. It was you who wanted to keep things from Trinity for so long.” I raised my eyes, a little hurt he would bring

that up. “And look at what happened when she did find out. If it wasn’t for our secret, we would have never gotten as much time together as we did.” His jaw hardened, and he nodded. “Maybe. Or maybe you two could have worked things out while we were all still in Malibu. I hate how it all went down.” “Me, too.” I turned away so he wouldn’t see the sadness in my eyes at the mention of his sister. “But I think Trin and I had been moving apart long before anything happened between you and me. I was in denial at first, but after she saw us together, after the things she said to me … it just confirmed what I tried for so long to ignore.” “You never told me what she said to you on that beach. Why?” My head tilted, and I cringed. “She’s your sister. Her beef with me was completely separate from your relationship with her. I wasn’t trying to make things worse for the two of you. You both had already been through so

much.” He laughed harshly on a breath. “We? Trinity still had her perfect life, her fancy clothes and car, and the family picture my parents painted. She was just like them.” “Don’t say that.” As much as I was still angry with my best friend for the cruel things she’d said to me, I didn’t want Tobias to feel this way toward her. They may not have been blood related, but they were family in all the ways that mattered. The way he stared at me told me there was something I was missing. “Trinity knew I was adopted long before I found out. She was hiding it from me too.” “What?” My stomach rolled with discomfort. “How do you know?” His jaw hardened beneath his skin. “She told me the night before I came to LA to see you. She’s just as guilty as the rest of them.” I frowned. “Oh, Tobias, don’t you see that Trinity was just scared to lose you? She didn’t even talk to me about it, which makes me

think she was suffering in ways you and I never knew. She would have only acted the way she did because she was heartbroken. For you, for her. You’re her only brother, and she was desperate to keep you.” Tobias didn’t speak at first. He stared at the pool, clearly deep in thought. “Have you ever fallen so deeply into your own pain that you see nothing else but the pit of your own darkness?” I reached for his hand and squeezed to tell him yes, that I knew that feeling quite well, actually. “Everything felt so fucked up, but I never once considered that Trinity was hurting right along with me.” I nodded. “True colors aren’t always our brightest. Sometimes they’re our darkest, most vulnerable shades, and it’s up to us to change the palette before it completely destroys our life’s work.” “Like how me learning about my adoption almost destroyed me? The darkness consumed

me, to the point I lost touch with everything and everyone, and I feel like I’m still fighting to claim my life back. Trin didn’t help.” I swallowed, hating that his adoption still had power over him. “I can’t speak for Trinity, but you are not your darkness. You have dark days, and shitty events that trigger them, but you, Tobias James, are a fucking legend. Don’t ever forget it.” He dropped his head, locking eyes with me. “You were always my biggest cheerleader.” I smiled softly, leaning my head against his. “And I always will be.”

We ventured back into the house, and I beelined it for a stack of boxes in the hallway leading to his bedroom. “Now tell me why you’ve been here for three months and haven’t unpacked.” He laughed. “I’ve just been busy.” I assessed him with an amused glare.

“You’re full of it.” He raised and dropped his arms. “I don’t know. It’s just stuff. I’ll unpack it eventually. Or …” His eyes twinkled, flipping my stomach. “You could always help me.” I laughed with a knowing nod. “Ah, now I get why you didn’t even hesitate to bring me here.” He reached for my waist, gripped it, and pulled me to him so we fit flush against each other. “I think you know why I agreed to bring you here, and it has nothing to do with helping me unpack.” I swallowed. His fingers ran lightly up my neck and cupped my chin. He moved his thumb up and down my jaw, his gaze intense as he practically swallowed me with his eyes. “Tell me this is okay.” He ran a finger from my jaw to my collarbone and then to my chest. His palm fell flat between my breasts, over my heart. “Tell me I get my second chance … to earn this.” I could barely breathe as he leaned in. When

he paused over my lips, I knew he was waiting for an answer. Everything inside of me was screaming yes except for that one stupid voice that would not go away. The one that evaluated the risks and played on my fears of letting Tobias too close only to watch his path stray from mine. We’d gotten in over our heads once before. “Tobias.” His name caught in my throat as he lifted me onto the stack of boxes. His lips were dangerously close to mine. His hands were moving up my thighs and slipping beneath my jean shorts. “Amelia,” he whispered back before placing a kiss on the corner of my mouth. I gasped and turned on instinct, catching his lips with mine. He kissed me hard, not wasting any time to part my lips and place his tongue inside like he was finally home. He groaned, and I gasped as the hands on my thighs moved around to my ass, lifting me and pulling me to the edge of the box.

The deeper the kiss, the harder he got as he stroked himself against my core. I pulled in a breath with a gasp. “Fuck,” I cried at the pressure that fed the ache between my thighs. I wanted more. I wanted to feel him again—I wanted to feel me again. “I could kiss these lips forever,” he murmured before lifting me again, this time completely off the box. My legs wrapped around his waist as he carried me down the hall, through his bedroom doors, and set me on his mattress. “Let me?” His brows rose with his question as desperation floated on his breath. “Let me kiss you forever.” My head felt light, a dizziness consuming me. And I watched him kneel, our faces aligning as his eyes traced my body like he was mapping out the stars. He moved in, placing his forehead to mine as he waited for my answer. I swallowed, terrified of all that I wanted and all we could lose. I knew I’d promised

him the secret, but it didn’t stop my mind from arguing with my heart. “Can we take it slow tonight? No sex. Can we just … make out?” My eyes darted between his as my cheeks heated with embarrassment. My words sounded so juvenile, and from the way his eyes crinkled at the corners, he thought so too. “Define make out. ‘Cause I’m a guy, and to me, making out includes a lot of things.” I smiled and cupped his chin with my palm, a gesture that calmed me just as much as I knew it calmed him. “Kiss me until morning, Tobias.”

CHAPTER 36 Tobias I did as she asked, and when I woke up, I was rewarded with the smell of bacon sizzling on my never-before-used stove. The cherry on top? Walking out to find Amelia wearing my Windy City Knights practice jersey. It was ten times too big for her, revealing her bare skin through the armholes. It was a sight I could definitely get used to. She switched off the stove and swiveled around, a radiant smile on her face. Her hair had been tossed in a bun, and her lips were red and puffy, the side effect from our kissingonly session. My cock still ached from the halfnaked woman in my bed who had to remind me every time my hands started to roam too far. “Hungry? Bacon’s done. Just frying up some

eggs.” I was hungry all right, but food could wait. My feet padded across the cool wood until I had her in my arms and unsealed her lips with my tongue. After a minute and a quiet moan, she pushed me away with a coy smile and turned back to the stove. “Focus. Food first. Then I need you to take me to my car. I’ve got rehearsals at ten.” I wrapped my arms around her, not ready to ever let her go. “Can I see you tonight?” She shook her head. “I have a promo event.” “Tomorrow, then.” “Don’t you have that golf tournament with the guys?” I groaned, having completely forgotten about that. “And Wednesday, I’ve got back-tobacks with PR. But Wednesday night would work. I’ve got my workshop at the rec on Thursday, but I don’t need to be up too early.” She pouted. “Can’t. We have night rehearsals on Wednesday, and they usually go

until pretty late.” “Shit.” She smiled. “Let’s just play it by ear. We don’t need to rush this.” Frustration cycled through me. “Rush this? It’s been three years. And you’re wearing my jersey.” She grinned and did a little spin in my arms. “You like it?” Narrowing my eyes, I nodded and placed a kiss on her ear. “You have no idea.” She melted into me for only a second before she remembered she was manning the stove. Her ass jutted out, pushing me away. “Sit. Let me finish.” I chuckled and raised my hands in defeat. “Fine. I’ll just be over here.” “Maybe you should start unpacking some of those boxes while you’re at it,” she called over her shoulder. The tease in her tone wasn’t lost on me. I squinted at the island, noticing a moving box that wasn’t there before. When I saw the

black marker label, I might have turned fifty shades of red. AMELIA was scrawled in bold letters on four different sides. Fuck. I looked up to catch her staring at me with an evil glimmer. “What are you waiting for? I’m dying to see what’s in that box.” How do I get myself out of this predicament? The contents of the box were far more embarrassing than the lettering on the outside. If there had been a hole anywhere nearby, I would most likely have ducked inside it to wait this torture out. “Just some old memories,” I tried. She flipped the burner knobs off and strutted over, then slid the pair of scissors to me. “Show me what’s in the box and no one will get hurt.” It was like I was twelve years old again, getting caught by my mother with my dad’s porn. Except it wasn’t porn in the box. And Amelia sure as hell wasn’t my mother. “Before I open this, you should know, it looks way worse than it is.”

She laughed and nudged the scissors at me again. “Rip the bandage off, Tobias.” So I did. I sliced the box open and flipped each flap slowly, drawing out the reveal for as long as possible. She swatted my hands and reached into the box before I could stop her. The first thing she pulled out had me burying my head beneath folded arms. “Oh my God,” I mumbled. Not even my muffled ears could hide her amused shock. “Tobias James,” she screamed, but it was a scream wrapped in a fit of laughter. When I finally looked up, she was taking out each picture, calendar, and object, one by one. “How did you get all of this?” She was holding a group photo of the 2016 Lions Dance Team. “I printed it.” I could see her biting back her smile, and she moved on to a magnet with her picture inside a frame. “And this?” “Bought it online.” Her eyes fell on the calendar next, and it

was like she was afraid to touch it. Her hand hovered over it for a second before pulling away, then she focused on the next object, an eight-by-ten photo of Amelia in the sexiest outfit I’d ever seen. It was the same one she’d modeled for me on our video chat during the yacht party. “Good to know you were able to find this ultra-rare collector’s item.” She laughed and ran her finger over the image. “So much underboob.” “That”—I pointed at the pic in her hands —“is my favorite of all.” “I think I still have that outfit.” My eyes darkened. “Don’t tease me.” She grinned. “Doesn’t mean you’ll ever get to see it.” I tugged her to me until she was standing between my legs. “Oh, I’ll see it, Birthday Girl.” Reaching behind me, I grabbed the calendar and held it between us. “Why don’t you like this one?” Her smile faded so fast a sinking feeling

landed in my gut. “Turn to November.” Suddenly, I wished I’d never picked it up. I slid the calendar onto the counter and wrapped my arms around her waist. “Nah. I’ve seen it plenty.” I grinned at her, trying to bring her back to my playful temptress who had just gotten an eyeful of all my secrets. “Seriously,” she said, reaching for the calendar and turning the pages. “I want you to see this.” She found the month she was looking for and held the photo in front of her. “This isn’t even me.” I could practically hear her angry swallow. “This is some photoshopped version of me they liked better.” I frowned, hating that Amelia had gone through what she had. “I wish you had talked to me about all that was going on. Maybe I could have helped.” She let out a defeated laugh. “How? By telling me I was beautiful and perfect just the way I was? Three years ago, it wouldn’t have been enough.”

I nodded. “I get that.” I moved a piece of hair from her face. “I probably would have said all those things, though, because in my eyes, they were true. Still are. But I get it all now. I just wish we hadn’t lost so much time. I felt like I’d lost my best friend.” Her expression crumbled. “Oh, Tobias. I’m so sorry.” Her palms moved to my cheeks, cupping them the way she used to when she tried to reason with me. I loved it when she did that because I felt like she would do anything to make me see her. Little did she know she was the only thing I could see clearly, even when she wasn’t there. “It took me some time to get back on my feet. When I did, life started moving so fast. I never stopped thinking about you, though.” She placed her forehead against mine and closed her eyes. “Why is timing always against us?” “We’re together now.” I placed my hands over hers and tilted my head to bring my lips closer. “You’re making me breakfast and

everything.” She grinned. “Speaking of breakfast.” She strutted back to the stove, waving her ass at me as she went. “Coming right up.” If she was trying to drive me crazy, it was working. I followed her trail and reached around her before she could turn the stove back on, not giving a fuck about the state of the eggs when they were all finished. “What are you doing?” she squealed. I pressed my nose to her neck and inhaled her sweet scent. “You’re teasing me.” I ran two fingers up her leg, pushing up the fabric of my jersey that showed just the right amount of skin. My lips found her neck, causing her head to fall back onto my chest. “We had it your way last night, didn’t we? I behaved.” She nodded and gripped the handle of the stove in front of us. I chuckled into her ear then bit down on her lobe. I found the edge of her panties and slid my hand around to the front of the fabric. I could hear her quick breathing as I rubbed a finger against the

waistband of the stretchy fabric. “I kissed you all night long. I let you rub against me and tease my cock until it wanted to fucking burst.” I slipped my finger between the fabric and her soft skin, moving down to where she was wet. So, so wet. “Oh, Amelia,” I scolded as I circled her clit. “You want this as much as I do, don’t you?” She nodded with a moan. “Good. Because today, it’s my turn.” I spread her legs with my knee and slipped my finger down her slit. “And today, I’m going to make you come.” She didn’t object. Not when I toyed with her clit again, not when I pushed two fingers inside of her, not when I worked her so fast she screamed her release. She didn’t object to any of it, which only meant I could continue to take. And I planned to take everything she would allow.

CHAPTER 37 Amelia Today marked an entire week since I’d last seen Tobias, and the ache I’d felt in my chest since our night together was growing stronger. Our schedules couldn’t have posed more of an inconvenience. And now that I was vying for the captain spot, it seemed I was busier than ever leading practices, running errands for Coach, and proving that I was the right person for the job. I’d just finished showering and dressing after morning rehearsals when I saw the pink sticky note inside my locker. It was the seventh note that had mysteriously shown up that week, one each day. This time, “I Miss You” was scrawled in red. Short, simple, sweet, and it was enough to make my insides warm.

I didn’t question how he’d managed to sneak the note into the women’s locker room and find the cubby with my nameplate. I just loved that Tobias had found a way to let me know he was thinking about me. “Bye, girls,” I called out as I swung my bag over my shoulder. For once, I wouldn’t be the last one out the door. A day and a half without obligations was rare, and I was ready to spend it with Tobias. All the girls chimed in with their goodbyes. “Have fun on your date with Mystery Man,” Stephanie said in a singsong tone, making the other girls laugh. Heat scaled my neck and cheeks as I waved off their comments. I couldn’t look them in the eye for fear my guilt would out me. The girls knew I had been “talking to” someone new, but they didn’t know who. All they knew was what they could read on my face and what I chose to tell them. Clearly, I was as transparent as a single-pane window, because they could see right through me.

I was walking by Zoie’s office when she called out, asking me to step inside. As I entered, she shut the door behind us, and my gaze zoomed in on the envelope in her hands. Anxiety gnawed at my chest when I saw the official seal. The last time I’d received the same envelope, it had been my final check and a letter confirming my termination from the Lions dance team. Clearing my throat and trying to calm my anxious heart, I darted a look at Zoie. She wore her natural calm expression, not a single tell as to what she was handing me. “What is this?” She smiled, her skin still smooth and her eyes still relaxed. Does anything ever get her worked up? “An offer I hope you’ll accept.” She stopped my hand when I started to tear it open. “Don’t open it here. Look it over at home. We can discuss the contents in my office Monday morning before practice. Can you be here thirty minutes early?”

I nodded. “Of course.” She beamed and opened her door for me to leave. “Enjoy your weekend, Amie.” As I scurried out the door, I glanced down at the envelope, causing my heart to race and my throat to dry up. It can’t be. The captain spot was the first thing that came to mind. It hadn’t even occurred to me that the position could be mine. As soon as I got to my car, I ripped open the envelope and pulled out the slip of paper. It was a letter, written by Zoie, noting my strong leadership qualities and determination to see the squad succeed, and it was inviting me to be captain of the Lionesses. My hands started shaking, and my smile grew so big that it hurt. “Holy crap.” It was all coming full circle. Not only would I be on that court with my team on opening day, but I would also be leading them. No Fionas or Coach Sparkses could have power over me this time. And none of this would have been possible

if I hadn’t taken the plunge and faced the Lions again. I was on cloud nine as I focused on my drive. Everything was coming together just the way I’d always dreamed. To top it off, Tobias had the rest of today and tomorrow off, too, so we’d made plans to meet at a location he chose. He’d said all I had to do was bring an overnight bag and he would lead the way from there. But when I arrived at the address I’d set in my GPS, my jaw dropped and my eyes went wide. “What the—?” I wasn’t expecting to find a blue helicopter in the middle of a grassy field, propellers spinning. I scanned the around me again just to make sure I was in the right place. And that’s when I registered that Tobias was standing there, too. I let my foot off the gas and rolled slowly into the spot beside Tobias’s truck. After pulling my overnight bag from the back seat, I stepped out of my car and walked toward him. A soft smile rested on his face, and his

dark-brown hair blew softly in the light breeze. His hands were shoved deep into the pockets of his khaki pants, while his white shirt clung to his hard muscles. He was every bit as dreamy as he was when I was a young girl. He was still that guy who made my heart stutter when our gazes locked. And that smile. The one I was rarely able to catch glimpses of, but when I did, I dreamt it was reserved only for me. That was the one he was giving me now. “Um,” I said on my approach. My eyes were wide on the object in blue behind him. “Is this for us?” “It is.” He flashed me a grin and held out a hand. “C’mon. I’ve got a surprise.” I lifted my hand to place it in his, all while twisting my face in question. “You mean that isn’t the surprise?” He chuckled and pulled me toward him. “C’mon.” We climbed into the helicopter, and I let the pilot strap me in. My heart was beating a mile

a minute, and I couldn’t feel Tobias holding my hand until he squeezed it, hard. I turned to find him grinning while I knew I looked petrified. I’d seldom even flown in a plane. The pilot placed a headset over my ears. It had a mouthpiece sticking out for me to talk into, and Tobias started using his right away. “Just squeeze my hand if you get nervous. We’ve got about a thirty-minute ride.” “To where?” He could at least tell me where we were going. I didn’t know if I liked surprises. “I’ll give you a hint. I promised I would take you to this place again. And I didn’t want to waste the six hours driving there.” Heat pricked the backs of my eyes, and emotion thickened in my throat. I knew exactly where we were going. He was taking me to Big Sur. Back to where it all began.

CHAPTER 38 Amelia My eyes stayed glued to the sights beyond the window while my grip strangled Tobias’s hand. As we flew over the green and blue of the Pacific Ocean and approached the rugged Big Sur coastline, I was transfixed by all the sights I’d missed when we rode to the same destination in Tobias’s truck. I hadn’t seen the long, winding stretch of Pacific Coast Highway or the small, pebble beaches. I hadn’t seen the long stretch of Bixby Bridge that soared hundreds of feet over the steep canyon carved by a creek, or the detail that had gone into the lantern shape of Point Sur Lighthouse. “This is incredible.” “I thought you’d appreciate this view. A little change of perspective.”

He winked at me, and I could feel my heart blooming in my chest. I was so focused on him, I almost missed that the helicopter was heading toward a piece of land on one of the flattened hillsides. I recognized the spot immediately and whipped my head toward Tobias to see if he saw it, too. His eyes met mine, and he leaned in for a kiss. “Does anything look familiar?” he asked when he pulled back. I looked toward the piece of land again and laughed. Of course Tobias would figure out how to park his old truck in the same spot where it had been parked three years ago, a tent erected over the bed. My head snapped back to his as a smile grew on my face. “You didn’t.” He nodded. “I did. Figured I wasn’t getting much use of her back home.” “But how did you get it here?” He leaned in over my shoulder and looked at the spot. “I paid some guy at the shop a hell of a lot to figure out the details.”

I glanced at our bags, secured with a bungee cord in front of us. When Tobias had asked me to pack my things, I definitely hadn’t envisioned a camping trip. “Are we spending the night?” “Just for tonight.” His eyes scanned mine. “Unless you’re opposed to the idea.” I shook my head. “No, I love the idea. I just didn’t bring much.” His grin lit my insides. “I’m okay with that.” The heat in my cheeks intensified. “Won’t it get cold?” He chuckled. “I won’t be offended if you use my body as a blanket. We can always try that naked body-heat thing to see if it really works.” I shot him a glare before laughing and turning back to the window. After we landed and hopped out, the helicopter took off, leaving Tobias and me completely alone. I twirled in a three-sixty, taking in the sights and comparing them to my memory. The clearing was fairly wide, with

mostly broad-leafed trees surrounding us. A dirt path marked the only drivable route to the main road. But when the clearing opened up at the edge of the bluff to overlook an endless, sparkling sea, it all came full circle. I faced him, unable to keep the wide grin off my face. “It’s more beautiful than I remember.” Tobias wrapped his arms around me with a stupid grin of his own. “I’m glad you didn’t say that everything looked smaller than you remembered. Might have bruised my ego a bit.” I laughed and shook my head. “No, it’s definitely the opposite.” My eyes drifted over my shoulder to where the water sat. “Everything is grander, brighter …” I faced him again, my gaze sliding up his body. “Taller, sexier.” He leaned in and placed his mouth to mine. Everything about his lips—from their firmness, which expressed the hunger he felt, to the way they tasted of forbidden familiarity

—was as comforting as it was thrilling. Actions were always louder than words, and our kiss spoke our truth when no words could suffice. Connecting with him had always been so easy. Physically, emotionally. We just worked. If kissing was a language, then Tobias and I spoke it fluently. He groaned as he pulled away then eyed me with a frustrated glare. “So, what’s on the agenda for tonight?” I asked as he pulled away. “Well,” he said, peering sideways toward his truck. “Our options are limited, but—” He squinted at me, like he was questioning what I would say before he even asked. “I was thinking we could have some dinner, watch the sunset, talk …” I bit down on my lip to stop my smile from spreading. “That sounds very innocent coming from the man who mentioned naked spooning only minutes ago.” Now it was his turn to blush. “All teasing

aside, I just want to spend time with you, away from the distractions. I have no expectations.” Tobias had always been a gentleman, even when it came to sex. But I didn’t want the gentleman tonight. I wanted to feel him unleashed inside me, raw and ravenous. He narrowed his eyes at me like he was trying to read my thoughts. “What are you thinking about?” I glanced toward the sun. “Where should we watch the show?” He took my hand and tugged me to his truck, where he pulled down the gate then patted it. “Right here.” I climbed on and sat down, letting my legs dangle below. He followed, scooting flush to my side and taking my hand again. “So,” I said, breaking through the silence. “Have you thought about what you want to do with the land? Last we talked, you wanted to preserve it.” He shrugged and peered down at me. “I

don’t know. I think I’m open to options now. If you couldn’t tell, I had some issues with trust and commitment back then.” I tilted my head and smiled. “You were just hurting, but I think you had the right idea with preserving it. I guess you need to ask yourself when you’d like to visit and what you see yourself doing here.” “Honestly?” He raised his brows. “Do you want to know what I see myself doing here?” I nodded with my swallow. “Well, I wouldn’t be alone, for one. I see you and me coming here, just like this. Only instead of camping in my truck, maybe we build something sturdier. Have you ever heard of glamping?” A laugh bubbled up from my throat. “What in the world is glamping?” “It’s exactly what it sounds like. It’s a more luxurious version of camping. Imagine a big tent with a bed and a shower, set on a wooden dock. I’ve seen some really fancy ones with campfires built into the dock and real lighting

strung throughout.” From the image he’d created in my head, I didn’t hate the sound of that at all. “Then you’d still have the simplicity you want while having a few simple luxuries.” “Exactly.” He grinned. “You could add a basketball court, too,” I said, perking up at the idea. “You’ll have to help me decorate.” He eyed me like he was testing me. Like whatever I said next would determine our fate. “Deal.” We held our gaze for a moment longer before I turned toward the sky. “It’s go time.” My voice was quiet, but I knew he’d heard it from the squeeze he gave my hand. The sky was a canvas of purple and pink, each hue seamlessly mixing with the next and spreading as far as the eye could see. As the sun slowly dipped, the colors seemed to intensify. “You didn’t say how practice went today,” he said after a few minutes. “You think things

are better this time around?” I inhaled a deep breath and nodded, glancing briefly in his direction. “Definitely. Especially now.” A smile spread across my cheeks as excitement bubbled up in my chest. “Zoie offered me the captain position today.” “Ah.” He wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “That’s great. I knew she would. And you accepted?” “I’m going to on Monday. She wanted me to think it over, but—” I turned to him, feeling the excitement in my chest light up my eyes. “Is it crazy that I feel like everything that happened with the team before led me right where I was supposed to be? No matter how awful it felt, or how crushed I felt at the time. Maybe I was meant to go through it all, just so I could be ready to take something like this on.” “That doesn’t sound crazy at all. In fact, I think it’s pretty incredible that you think that way. You’ve always made the best of situations. It’s one of the things that drew me

to you long before we got together.” I pushed a breath into the wind, feeling all the weight that had kept me from my dream blend with it. “Really? I mean, I never would have considered wanting the captain spot before, but after seeing how that role could be abused by someone like Fiona, it only makes me want it more.” “Show them how it can be done, Birthday Girl.” His confident smile filled me with another deep breath. “I will.” He sat up straight. “Before I forget, I have something for you.” He hopped off the gate and jogged to the passenger side of his truck. When he returned, he was holding a cupcake adorned with three flickering lights. “What is this?” I asked with a laugh. “Well,” he said, settling into his seat beside me, “I felt it was tradition. I know the timing is a little off, seeing as your birthday is in April and it’s September, but considering I’ve missed a few of them, I thought this would be

appropriate.” He nudged the cupcake toward me. “Go ahead. Make a wish, Birthday Girl.” I smiled as I watched the lights flickering between us, then I lifted my eyes, meeting his gaze. “Only if you make one with me.” “Okay. On the count of three.” I made my wish as he counted down, wanting nothing more than for us to have a real shot one day. One that didn’t live in secret and wasn’t chained by rules. And then we blew. He held the cupcake to my lips and nodded. “Try it.” I bit into it, my eyes rolling into the back of my head when the vanilla-and-cream frosting hit my taste buds. “So good,” I mumbled in midbite. Then I chewed and swallowed it with a moan. “You should try some.” Tobias glanced at the cupcake then placed it to his side and took my face in his hands. “Love to.” His smile touched mine before his tongue darted out to swipe at my lips. “Yum.” His murmur was so seductive, my brain grew foggy as he kissed me again, this time deeper.

A chill swept over my body, and it had nothing to do with the weather. He broke free from my lips and eyed me with concern. “You cold? Hungry?” He scanned my attire, which didn’t do much to protect me from the mountain air. I shook my head. “No. But I might be interested in that naked spooning you suggested.” He cocked a brow and grinned. “Then follow me.”

CHAPTER 39 Amelia Five days. Three years ago, in the span of five days, that was all the time it had taken for us to connect in a way I’d never imagined possible with any human, let alone Tobias James. But by the end of spring break, it was clear to both of us that we had formed something undeniable. I never forgot the night we made the mutual decision to stop denying it. How he’d felt, curled up against me, rock hard and resisting me like the good guy he’d always pretended not to be. How softly he’d bitten down on my ear before delivering his first and only warning at my temptations. A rush of heat filled my body just thinking about the night I’d lost my virginity. Tobias

had made sure it was perfect. I remembered the way Tobias had pushed into me the first time. How he’d expanded me without apology and whispered my name like it belonged to him. How gentle his touch and words were, while his thrusts were anything but. I was eager to feel him again. We were curled up together naked under the tent in the back of his truck, our breaths a symphony of desire and desperation. Our bodies were already slick with excitement as he pressed his lips to mine, his cock nudging at my entrance as we kissed. “Have you…?” I took a breath, unsure how to ask the question without getting upset at the answer. “I mean, are you clean?” Something about the way his eyes softened answered my first question, but he confirmed he was clean with a nod. “There’s been no one else but you, Amelia. I thought I already told you that.” I was hoping I’d understood him the first

time, but his answer relieved me. “I haven’t been with anyone else either.” The skin of his forehead wrinkled in the center. “Not even Ben?” I shook my head and swallowed. “It wasn’t like that with him. For me, anyway.” I didn’t think it was something Tobias had been worried about, but an ease seemed to wash over him. He held up a condom and started to peel away the wrapper. I covered his wrist with my hand. “You don’t need this. I’m still on birth control.” With a bow of his head, he laughed. “Trust me, I can’t wait to fuck you bare, but if I slip inside you now, I’ll come in seconds. I want this to last as long as possible.” I bit my lip to stifle a laugh as he rolled the rubber up his length. “You say that like it’s a punishment.” His eyes glimmered, amused. He moved his mouth on my ear as he poised at my entrance. “Oh, I’ll punish you, Amelia. Don’t worry

about that.” And then he pushed inside me, definitely not as gentle as the first time, but I was ready for the impact. He moved slowly, rocking into me while tickling my lips with his. Just like last time, I expanded for him, breathing through the pressure until my core responded with a good kind of tension. One that started to build, gaining momentum with each thrust of his body. “Come for me, Birthday Girl.” He didn’t have to demand it twice. I was almost there, and I gasped while I could practically feel his lips curling into a smile. And as my orgasm hit me, it was like the big bang all over again, because Tobias and I, we could create a universe.

A while later, after our breathing had slowed and we were wrapped in each other’s arms again, he brought his forehead to mine and

held me tighter as he squeezed his lids closed. There was a moment of complete stillness while he let out a slow breath. “This feels like a dream. You and me. Being here. It’s everything we talked about finally happening. I don’t want to blink. I don’t even want to open my eyes, Amelia.” My heart stuttered. I felt the same fear he expressed. “Open your eyes, Tobias.” His lids opened slowly at my command, his gaze landing on mine. “We’re in this together. Forever. This is only the beginning.” He trembled in response to my words. My promise. It was my turn to believe in us the way he always had, no matter what the consequences were. Ours was a forbidden love that danced among lightning in equal measures of excitement and fear. That was Tobias and me —two connected souls that had once defied the laws of gravity. Or so we thought. We should have learned our lesson then. We should have remembered what happened the

last time a bolt struck, illuminating too much. It felt like the universe was tempting us, baiting us with false hope masquerading as a second chance. We needed to be careful. The stakes were higher now. Our dreams were on the line. Yet still, we danced.

CHAPTER 40 Tobias I’d just gotten home from leaving Amelia at the helicopter drop-off when a knock came at my door. Otis stood there, a wide smile on his face. My sigh of relief came hard and fast. “Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?” Otis had gone back to Chicago for a couple of weeks to tie up some loose ends with his estates. I hadn’t been entirely shocked that he’d decided to come to LA with me now that I was his only client, but I was happy he’d made that decision. More than Aaron, Otis had become my confidant. The one I shared my thoughts and fears with on a daily basis. I trusted him to be honest, more than I’d trusted anyone in a long time. “I’m here. Put me to work.” We slapped backs, and I gestured for him to

come inside. “Let me just clean up a bit, and then you want to head out? You need to get anything for your new place?” Otis waved away my suggestion and looked around at my new digs. “I like it. Suits you better than my high-rise.” I scrunched my face. “I don’t know. You think?” He pointed at the kitchen, where the pans still sat from when Amelia had last washed and set them out to dry over a week ago. I’d barely been home enough to know that they were still resting on the counter. “You’re making better use of this place than you did mine. When the hell did you learn how to cook?” I chuckled and shook my head. “That wasn’t me. Amelia likes to cook.” Otis’s amusement dried up with a cock of his head. “Your old flame?” I perked up. “Nothing old about that flame. She’s back with the Lions and just made captain. Talk about meant to be, right?”

Otis bowed his head and pinched the bridge of his nose while shaking his head. “No, Toby.” His eyes were narrowed when they met mine again. “What the hell are you thinkin’?” Annoyance weaved its way through me. “Are you for real?” “Yes. Don’t you think you need to be more careful? Your career is too young to be playing with fire, Toby.” “C’mon, Otis. This is Amelia we’re talking about. You know how I feel about her.” “But she’s a dancer, which makes her off limits. It’s not a debate with the NBA. It’s not something you can negotiate into your contract.” “No one has to know. When the season’s up, we’ll figure things out.” He huffed out a breath, a sign of his frustration. “Humor me. Let’s just say you two do get caught. Is her career something you are both willing to risk? Because let me tell you something, Toby. I’ve seen it all. You are too

valuable to let go of. But a dancer making minimum wage? She’s replaceable in their eyes. They would fire her without a single blink.” I made a face. “They wouldn’t just fire her.” “They would.” The certainty of his words broke through my denial. My thoughts flashed to that night she’d come to my hotel room after walking away from the Lions three years ago, her eyes puffy and her heart broken. And then I thought about her excitement last night over making captain. “Didn’t you tell me that she never even danced at a game her first time around? What if that happens again?” It was like he could read my mind. His questions hit me hard, each one slamming into my chest and setting an anchor in my gut. It wasn’t like the rules were new to me. I understood the repercussions of fraternization in the NBA. But I had been so focused on getting Amelia back that I’d neglected to think

about the repercussions. Amelia and I weren’t invincible. We were two dreamers with a hell of a lot to lose if we continued down the path we were on. I drew in a shaky breath, letting the reality of it all sink in. Maybe there was a risk in getting caught with Amelia, but I couldn’t stop thinking about the risk of not having her in my life. There was no question which risk was greater. Otis was right—this wasn’t just about me. If Amelia never made it onto that court for a live game after being given a second chance … after making captain and finally realizing that all the shit she’d gone through before had a purpose … “I would be devastated.” I fumbled through the next silence, unable to even imagine what had to come next. Letting Amelia go was never part of the plan. Otis released his hold on my arm and stepped back. “You’ve always made the right decisions, Toby. I’m just here to help you put things into perspective. Your heart can be in

the right place, but that means nothing when it comes to the rules. If you care about her as much as you say you do, then you’ll think twice about your actions. Don’t be the reason she loses her second shot at her dream.”

CHAPTER 41 Amelia Tobias and I had already established that this week would be a busy one, but while we had been exchanging brief messages over the days, we’d yet to make plans to see each other. To make things worse … the cute notes that had been showing up everywhere had stopped. Other than that, everything was great between us. Better than great now that we had a mutual understanding. We were back to square one. Back to the secrets, the hidden meetings, the frustration with not getting to explore a relationship like a normal couple would. But at least we were together with our dreams intact. Then why was I walking through the parking lot of the rec center with a twisted stomach and a flurry of negative thoughts

from his silence? “Amie. Wait up.” I turned toward the voice to where Lex was climbing out of her car. She pulled her duffel over her shoulder and slammed the door shut behind her. “Hey,” I returned with a smile. I was assisting her with her class today at the rec, which I’d agreed to knowing that Tobias would also be there leading a workshop. The rec was busier than I’d ever seen it, with a few dozen kids on the court, running drills led by Tobias and a couple of his teammates who looked familiar, including that Detrick guy who had given me the creeps. His bold infidelity wasn’t a secret among the dance crew. And I still didn’t like the way my skin crawled when his eyes touched my body. Lex and I were walking around the court toward the dance studio when I felt several pairs of eyes following us. When I slid my gaze left, Detrick was among the watchers. He gave me an upward tick of his chin,

acknowledging

me

like

we

were

well

acquainted. “What is Detrick doing here?” I mumbled, not expecting a response from Lex, but she turned, anyway. “Who’s Detrick?” She raised her brows at me. My eyes tracked him on his approach from the other side of the court. “He’s bad news.” She looked toward the target of my stare. “And he clearly wants to show you how bad.” I rolled my eyes just as he approached me with a wide grin on his face. “Hey, Amie.” I could see Tobias’s eyes on us from the other side of the court, making heat rise up my neck. “Hey, Detrick.” He tilted his head, shooting me a playful look. “You helping out with this charity thing, too? These boys could use a cheer squad.” Shaking my head, I latched onto Lex so she wouldn’t leave me. “I’m teaching a dance class with Lex today.” Detrick’s eyes took Lex in next, starting

from her face and drawing a line down her body. She tensed beside me, but her discomfort didn’t last long. Just then, Theo walked up, intercepting Lex and leading her toward the studio while Tobias stepped behind Detrick, clapping a hand on his back. From the way Tobias squeezed Detrick’s shoulder, making him wince and jerk away, I assumed Detrick wasn’t his favorite person. “Get off me, man.” He glared at Tobias. Something about Tobias was definitely off, matching his distance lately. His jaw was hard, his expression dark. “Whoa.” Another person came jogging over, a forced smile on his face. I didn’t know him, but from the way he stood beside Tobias, I could tell he was an ally. “You’re being watched, guys,” the man said quietly. “Don’t do this here.” He snapped his fingers at Detrick. “You’re needed at the layup station.” After pinning Tobias with another glare, Detrick jogged away, leaving me with Tobias and the man I’d yet to meet. As I watched the

pair exchange glances, something tugged at my chest. The familiarity between the two of them bordered on fondness, a bond they’d obviously created over years. Despite their obvious age difference, they even carried themselves the same way—tall and with a guarded look in their big blue eyes unless they smiled. And they both wore their hair cropped and styled in a simple wave. There was only one person he could possibly be. The man’s gaze relaxed on me. “By the way Toby’s worked up over here, you must be Amelia.” I smiled. “And you must be Otis.” His smile told me he was pleased. “You are correct. I’m sure you’ve only heard good things about me from this one.” “Only the best.” Tobias shifted beside us, moving our attention to Otis. “You should talk to Phil because he's not listening to me and this is a perfect example. Detrick only causes trouble.”

Otis let out an annoyed breath and shook his head. “Yeah, alright. I’ll talk to him.” “We should get back,” he muttered to Otis. Then he threw me a look. “Sorry. We’ve got an hour left, and it’s going well. I just …” He was talking so fast and avoiding my eyes, like he couldn’t wait to get away from me. My heart sank, but I managed to cover it with a smile as I waved him and Otis away. “Go, go. I’m helping Lex out, anyway.” I pointed at the studio. The front was all glass, and I could see Lex, already warming up the class. “See, I’m late.” Otis clapped Tobias on the back. “You heard the woman. Let her get to class.” I backed up, not hiding my confusion when Tobias held my eyes. I hated the new weight in my gut and all the uncertainty that came with it. It was a feeling that only grew thicker when Tobias turned away from me first. I jogged off, my steps heavy with worry. When I got to the dance floor, it was hard not to see the questioning stare Lex pointed at me.

I refused to make direct eye contact, too afraid the tightness in my throat would completely unravel. Why are things with Tobias always so complicated? Three years ago, I had at least known we were doomed to fail. In a way, that had prepared me for what had eventually come. But this time, hope had compounded in my chest despite the obstacles we faced. We were stronger than what the world threw at us. It was why we’d ended up here. At least that was what I would keep telling myself. Even if we had to wait until the end of the season or longer, the hope was in knowing what we had was unshakable. If our feelings had lasted this long, they could outlast any season. I couldn’t think about Tobias’s strange behavior or the way Detrick glared at him like they’d been thrown in a boxing ring together. If there was one way to take my mind off the bad, it was dance. “All right, you guys.” Lex turned to face the

room. The studio was packed with dancers of all ages, ranging from beginner to advanced. “We’re going to try something a little different today.” She handed me a stack of paper and some pens. “Do you mind handing those out? Keep one for yourself.” She winked, and I did as she asked while she continued on. “A friend of mine recently shared a very personal story with me about a dream fulfilled that didn’t exactly go as planned. I won’t go into detail, but her story stirred up so much in me, it practically choreographed itself. Today, I want to share it with you, because at the end of her struggle, she made a decision I think we can all learn from.” Lex paused while scanning the room of young dancers. “She wasn’t accepted by others, so she decided their acceptance wasn’t worth it.” I could feel myself shaking as I walked back to my spot beside Lex. She was holding a single sheet of paper and a pen, and I swallowed as our eyes connected. She was

talking about me. “No matter what your future holds, you will face rejection, and lots of it. But you need to remember, rejection isn’t the universe telling you no, it’s telling you ‘not yet.’ Remember that when you start auditioning or applying for a job. Keep working. Keep struggling. Keep learning. Don’t. Stop. Quitting is the only way to guarantee your failure.” A cheer shot through the crowd as her speech resonated, making Lex smile. “So”—Lex clapped her hands to get the attention back on her—“today, we’re going to face some of that self-doubt that comes with rejection. We’re going to look our own insecurities straight in the eye, and then we’re going to flip our perspective. “As you learn choreography today, I want you to think about the words you tell yourself that are downright ugly, mean, negative. Think about it, dance about it, because by the end of class, you’re going to toss that lie away and replace that message with something

positive. Something truthful.” More applause sounded through the room, and Lex wasn’t messing around. She moved through the first two eight-counts before starting the music and letting us mark the steps. The piece was a beautiful contemporary number, the lyrics and melody uplifting while the choreography was powerful and brilliant. I followed along as my heart sped with the music, not because of the beat but because of the message behind the song. Suddenly, everything from my experience with the Lions three years ago came rushing back. Dance had always been my way of expression. Since I was a little girl, if I didn’t know how to express my emotions in words, I always took it to the dance floor. My sadness, my happiness, and everything in between. It was where I’d always truly been able to feel free. But through Lex’s choreography, I felt like I was finally able to let go. Emotions were high as Lex sent groups out to perform the routine. One by one, the

dancers revealed their fears that they’d scrawled on a slip of paper, and when she got to me, I was ready. “Not enough” was the phrase I chose. Though my battle with my body was three years ago and I knew I would never put it through that kind of torture again, it didn’t stop the negative self-talk. That loud chatter in the back of my mind that I still wasn’t enough.

Tears were streaming down to my smile as I walked off the final counts of choreography. Lex’s arms were around me next, and she squeezed me tight. “I’m so proud of you.” I squeezed her back. It wasn’t just about me. “I’m proud of you. Damn it, woman.” I laughed and wiped away another tear. “Making me cry with your choreography. You could have warned me.” Lex laughed. “I’m glad you were here

today. Thank you for inspiring me.” She rubbed my back then turned to the class. Emotions were high all over the place. Looking around, I noticed I wasn’t the only one who had shed tears. “That’s a wrap for today, folks. I’m sorry it was a bit of an emotional one, but you all danced it beautifully and uniquely, and that was the point. We’re all different. We all have weaknesses. Until you embrace yours, they will only hold you back from what you’re destined to accomplish. But you guys, even the strongest fail. That’s the truth even if you don’t see it. The difference is, those are the people who have learned how to get up and keep moving faster than they did yesterday.” Another loud round of applause broke out. She smiled and waved to quiet us down. Then she pointed at the mirror we’d used as a prop while dancing the number. “At the end of the day, there’s only one thing that matters. Not someone else’s opinion of you or what social media portrays. All of that is bull crap. Your

heart is the only mirror you should trust.”

Dancers started shuffling out of the room after cooldowns. Some stopped to talk to Lex, and others were joined at the hip in deep conversation. I left the studio and stepped out onto the empty court. I’d been so deep into Lex’s class that I hadn’t even noticed Tobias’s workshop had ended, and he was nowhere in sight. I stifled the hurt that seeped into my chest and walked around the corner to fill up my water jug. As I entered the dark foyer that led to a staircase and a set of water fountains, I jumped in surprise at the figure standing there. “Tobias, what—?” He had his back pressed to one of the dispensers, and his hands were braced behind him. His head was down, like he was deep in thought, but at the sound of my voice, he looked up. “Hey.”

“Were you waiting for me?” My heart lurched in my chest, but the frown on his face deflated all hope. “Yes and no,” he said while returning my gaze. “I shouldn’t be, but we should talk.” I’m not sure what compelled me, given the eeriness of his tone, but I walked to him and wrapped my arms around his waist so I could look up into his eyes. “Talk about what, Tobias?” He was scaring me, and for a long stretch of time, he remained silent while he searched the entrance I’d come through like someone might walk in at any moment. “Hey,” I said, my voice gentle, while the pounding in my heart was anything but. His eyes returned to mine. “I know we’ve both been busy, but—” I waited another beat before coming straight out with my question. “Is something wrong?” I squeezed my hold around him, as if the pressure would awaken him from whatever spell he was in. “Talk to me.”

He frowned. “I don’t think we should do this anymore. This—sneaking around, hiding in the dark, hoping no one will be the wiser. Is it really worth it?” “What?” Had I completely misinterpreted our trip to Big Sur? “We’ve talked about this, and we agreed about what we wanted. We chose us. We chose to take the risk. And we’ll figure the rest out at the end of the season.” He was shaking his head the entire time I spoke. “What? Why not? Where is this coming from?” His jaw hardened. “Otis, the NBA, the fucking world. It’s like one step forward and two steps back with us.” I shook my head and dropped my hands. “It doesn’t have to be.” “Yes, it does.” He spoke through gritted teeth, causing my eyes to widen. “You need to help me out here, because I have no idea where your mind is at. Otis doesn’t want us to be together?” Tobias smashed his palms to his face and

rubbed hard. “He wants me to be happy, and he has nothing against you, per se, but he had a good point. This is your second chance. I would never forgive myself if I was the one who messed that up for you.” My jaw went slack, and I stepped back. “Is that it? Because I can make my own decisions. And I choose you, Tobias. We can hide as long as we need to as long as we’re together. We can have our dreams and have each other.” “No, Amelia. I won’t let you choose me. Not when you’ve worked too damn hard for this. You’re captain now. Others are depending on you, and the only thing I’ll ever do for you is fuck all that up.” My throat tightened with anger and sadness and frustration. It was all piling up like water in a dam getting ready to burst. “Don’t do this. Don’t make the same mistake I did three years ago. We’re finally together. I want this, us, however we can make it work.” “Amelia—” The way he said my name, so defeated. I

couldn’t let him finish. Instead, I sucked in a breath and gestured to him. “This isn’t you. This isn’t us. We make our own rules, remember? We defy gravity.” His head snapped, his eyes shot to mine, and I could feel the darkness that loomed over him. “Maybe that’s where we’ve gotten it wrong all these years. Maybe that’s what the universe has been trying to tell us for years. Maybe we can’t defy anything.” I backed up like he’d burned me, unable to accept his words as a tear slipped from my eye. “You’re wrong. I don’t even know who you are right now.” “I’m lost, Amelia. You’ve known that about me since the beginning.” I sniffed, holding back the rest of my tears until my throat felt like it might explode from the pain. “Yeah, well, I never believed it until now. I hope you find a way out of whatever black hole you’ve escaped into, because the Tobias who fought for me, who waited for me, and who came to LA for me, is the man I

want. He’s worth the risk.” I stepped away from him to leave. “Call me when you find him.”

CHAPTER 42 Tobias Thunder roared through the stadium as the intro music played to hype the crowd. Adrenaline coursed through me as I peeked out at the arena. It was a packed house tonight. Nearly eighteen thousand seats sold. For the first preseason game, it was a recordbreaking number, one that charged me up so full, I felt like I could fly. We were jumping around at the back entrance to the tunnel, keeping the blood circulating through our veins while waiting for our introductions and feeding off each other’s energy. Our two weeks of training camp had brought us closer as a team—well, most of us. Detrick was still an ass. And while Coach and Otis had learned it was important to separate us off the court, PR was an entirely different

story. Detrick never should have been at the workshop at the rec. I’d specifically requested that he not be there, but Phil didn’t give me an option. He’d wanted us to look like a united front. “Detrick will bring in the numbers,” Phil had emphasized. He didn’t listen to me when I told them that volunteer work at the rec wasn’t about numbers. It was about giving opportunities to those who might have had trouble finding them on their own. So, it was what it was. I was forced to lead a workshop beside the guy who didn’t give two fucks about his wife while he was trying to flirt with my girl. And I couldn’t say a fucking word. Tonight during our first preseason game, Detrick wouldn’t have the option to ignore me. As point guard, he had to see the entire court and take advantage of all opportunities. Big points. Open players. Hot shooters. Basically … me. His eye had to be on it all, and when it came time to score, and I was in

three-point range, his job was to get me that ball. The intro music geared up, and players started lining up in the order their names would be called. One by one, announcers called out our guys by name and position, and each one jogged through the tunnel and between the dancers, who welcomed them with cheerful waves of their poms. Amelia had walked by me before leading her dancers onto the court, a huge ass smile on her face, while ignoring me completely. I deserved it. We hadn’t spoken in weeks. If it weren’t for the crazy number of hours I’d been putting into training and promo, I would have broken down by now. Late at night, far past a reasonable hour to call or message her, I would think about our last run-in at the rec and how much of an asshole I probably seemed like to her. She deserved an apology. An explanation. Anything more than what I gave her at the rec.

Fuck. I shook my head, clearing it just as the player in front of me was announced. I was next. “And shooting guard number twenty-four, six-three, first season, out of Pepperdine University, Toby James.” I made my way down the aisle created by shaking poms, focusing front until my eyes were drawn to the woman I’d been trying to avoid. It was impossible to resist a glance when she drew me in like a magnet. She wore a yellow-and-purple basketballjersey dress that barely covered her bottom, knee-high socks that matched mine, and white tennis shoes. Her hair was in thick waves, looking longer than I remembered, and it bounced around her shoulders as she moved with the intro beat. My chest burned as my eyes locked with hers. For a moment, time froze, and we were the only two in the room. Whatever distance I’d been trying to create was futile at best. She was still my Amelia.

I gave her a nod, slight so as not to attract attention, and I hoped she could understand my coded “I miss you.” In return, her smile never faltered. Her poms kept moving, her feet still shaking. Like she couldn’t see me at all. Feeling defeated, I continued to move past her toward the sidelines, where my teammates were taking their seats, downing waters, and saying their pregame prayers. To each his own. I’d been so focused on my thoughts, I’d paid no attention to who I was sitting beside until I looked left. Detrick’s gaze shot me like a laser. “Focused on the game, dawg?” I tore my eyes away and reached beneath my chair to grab my Gatorade bottle. “Of course.” “Good. Ball first, pussy second. But you know that.” I whipped my head toward him, my immediate reaction in defense of Amelia. “Excuse me?”

He raised his brows and lowered his chin, effectively noting the button he should not have fucking pushed. Next came his grin, which was far more irritating than it should have been. “I see who you’re looking at, bro.” He nodded toward the dancers, who were splitting into groups and taking each corner of the court to lead the crowd with cheers. He leaned in and narrowed his eyes. “Maybe you should keep your focus on the game.” “Maybe you should take your own advice. No need getting your balls in a twist over shit you don’t understand.” Detrick chuckled. “Hey, now. No need bringing my balls into this. Although—” “Fuck this.” I wouldn’t wait to hear him finish. Instead, I stood and walked five seats down to where Coach was. His eyes blazed between Detrick and me. “Not this shit again, James. Not today.” I leaned back in my chair just as the music started up for the dancers. “Would be worse if I stuck by him while he was running his

mouth. We’ll be fine out there, Coach.” “Better be. I need you on your game today. No distractions.” But his words were drowned out by the long-haired brunette in front of the triangle center court. She was doing some jump-andcross thing with her feet while slamming her poms together to encourage the crowd to keep up the noise. A hand clapped on my back, jolting my attention to the man behind me. It was Otis, a big ole grin on his face. He nodded to Coach Reagan and held out a fist to knock with mine. “This is it, Toby. Everything you’ve ever dreamed of. You ready to go out there and show ’em who’s boss?” I grinned, because despite my mood over Amelia, I was certain I’d never been readier.

“Get Toby the ball,” Coach yelled during our next time-out. The second quarter was almost

over after a high-scoring first, and Detrick was being a little prick out there. First quarter was an easy record breaker for me. After that, Detrick had been tossing balls in every direction but mine. He’d even attempted a few threes himself, which got Coach all revved up. Coach had Detrick by his collar, his face just an inch away. “I don’t know what shit you’re trying to pull, but thanks to your dumbass negligence, you just tied the game. Fix it.” We were back on the court with thirty seconds remaining until the half when I made it to my sweet three-point spot. Detrick had the ball again. He looked right at me, but there was hesitation. Just enough to get the ball swept from under him. These were the moments I lived for, when my decision-making skills layered with the pressure of the looming buzzer sent my adrenaline soaring. Growling, I took off toward Detrick’s thief and swept the ball back before he’d even had

an opportunity to pivot. I dribbled just enough to get the ball in my hands and point my feet in the right direction. I knew without looking at the shot clock that our time was almost up. There was only one thing to do. I bent my knees while propping the ball over my head, then I jumped to take the shot, giving myself less than a second to aim. Time slowed as the ball sailed on an arc, dropping right where I knew it would, and swished as the buzzer for halftime sounded. There wasn’t any time for celebrations, but I accepted the pats on the back as we jogged toward the locker room. We were up by three points. It wasn’t enough. Thanks to Detrick and his asshole ego, we had a fight coming our way in the third and fourth quarters. I looked left when I shouldn’t have. Detrick was jogging beside me, eyeing me like I was something dirty and not even worth cleaning. He hated that I’d scored the points, but not just that. He hated that he was the one who was handing me the ball to score them.

CHAPTER 43 Amelia The girls and I had just reached the locker room to change into our halftime uniforms when I saw the embarrassingly large display of beautiful roses, wrapped in Lions colors, sitting in my locker. My heart instantly dissolved into a puddle of goo as everyone around me was awed by them. “It’s from Mystery Man,” one of my teammates said to another, and I blushed so hard I could feel the burn in my chest. The last month had been beyond difficult, knowing Tobias was so close, yet so far away at the same time. I didn’t know why he’d had a sudden change of heart. Or rather, I did, but I didn’t agree with his decisions. Not after everything we’d been through together and apart. This was supposed to be our time.

I plucked the tiny piece of paper stuck between two buds and opened it to find a typed note, the simple sentiment causing my throat to thicken with emotion. Thinking of you, always. A few minutes later, we were huddled in the tunnel, prepping for our halftime entrance. The energy was high enough that we could have built a fire with it. The first two quarters had been so much fun. Genuine smiles filled our faces as we pumped up the crowds. My heart beat like crazy every time Tobias had the ball. Despite our current situation, I loved getting to watch him in a full game like this. “I’m so proud of you girls,” Zoie shouted. “You amaze me in your ability and work ethic but mostly your passion. I want you to go out there and kill it.” Zoie nodded at me to lead the girls out to the court, and I did. Wings fluttered wildly in my chest and practically carried me onto that

court. I felt like I was soaring. The lights were turned down low, and we’d already been announced, but I could see the crowd’s attention was in a million different directions. A smattering of applause came from throughout the arena, but chatter consumed them as bodies came and went through the entrance doors. Halftime was when everyone stretched their legs and grabbed drinks and snacks. For those who stayed, we were the entertainment. We filed into our spots, turned our heads low, and waited for the music.

From the first hip thrust until the final pose, I could feel our hard work in action, turning heads in the crowd, silencing the chatter in the audience, and putting their focus exactly where it should be—the dance. We jogged backstage, throwing our arms

around each other. As I was squeezing Stephanie, I looked up to find a group of ball players in the tunnel. They’d been watching the whole thing. That made me smile, but when my eyes connected with Tobias’s, my heart felt like it was going to explode. He smiled just enough, his eyes soft, and he nodded toward me like he’d done at the start of the game. I had been too nervous to deal with his secret signals then, but not this time. Not after the roses. Clearly, he missed me, and while we had some serious talking to do about our last encounter, I couldn’t be angry with him. So I returned his smile, giving him the same soft eyes he’d given me, then I turned back to the girls. We had a game to finish, and Tobias was scoring well. I hoped the rest of the team could follow his lead. “You coming to Detrick’s tonight?” Stephanie whispered as we walked toward the locker room. “No way,” I hissed. “You shouldn’t either.”

“C’mon,” she begged. “We haven’t gotten to hang out yet, and everyone is going to be there.” “Everyone?” I questioned, because I highly doubted that. Tobias and Detrick clearly hated each other. “Well,” Stephanie backtracked. “A lot of players, some of the dancers. It’ll all be hushhush, I promise.” I shook my head. “Still not going. It’s not worth it.” In the back of my mind, I wondered if Tobias would show his face there. If it was a team thing, he might. He would be the only reason I would consider going, but that would be stupid. Every encounter Tobias and I had had since he moved back to LA had been intense, and anyone near us would be able to sense that there was something between us. I wasn’t stupid enough to ignore the fact that Tobias had physically pulled Detrick away from talking to me at the rec, giving Detrick every reason to be suspicious.

“Have it your way.” Stephanie smiled. “But if that Tobias guy is there, I’m totally calling dibs.” I wanted to die. What could I say to that? “Players are off-limits, Steph.” She grinned. “No one will say anything. It’s not like this is an industry party or anything. Just some players and some dancers.” She started to bounce away then turned to give me one more chance. “Let me know if you change your mind.” She flashed another smile and headed off. Anger rumbled in my chest as I watched her push inside the locker room for our wardrobe change. I should have followed right behind her since we had only four minutes to get suited up and back on the court. But someone called my name from behind me. I snapped my head around to find Ben standing there. He was dressed in his security uniform, and I couldn’t believe I’d forgotten that I might run into him again. Things had been fairly quiet over the past few weeks. He

no longer texted and called with the hope that we would have another shot. “Hey, Ben.” I stepped forward with a smile, noting the five-o’clock shadow he was sporting as I reached my arms around him to give him a hug. “How are you?” “Better now.” He grinned, and I paused when I glanced up into his eyes. There was something too blue about them. Too—hopeful. “You looked great out there.” His fingers brushed the bare skin of my back. I smiled past my nerves and took a step back. “Thank you.” His smile transformed into confusion. “Did you get them?” Now it was my turn to be confused. “Get what?” And then it hit me without Ben having to say a thing. The roses. My heart plunged into my gut, hardening into devastation. Tobias hadn’t been regretting anything after all. “Oh,” I said as I pushed back the tears. “I did. Thank you, that was—sweet.”

He beamed and took a step forward, closing the distance between us again. “I’ve missed you. We should go out again some time.” I swallowed. I thought I had made myself clear to Ben the night I ended it. Apparently, in his mind, we weren’t over. Guilt nibbled away at my chest as I frowned. “I’m sorry, Ben. You’re an amazing guy, but I just don’t think we’re a great fit.” I gave him an apologetic smile and wrapped my arms around his neck. “Thank you again for the flowers. They’re beautiful.” He sighed into my neck as he squeezed. “Consider them a parting gift,” he teased softly. We laughed, and as I started to pull away, my eyes caught on a tall figure exiting the locker room. Tobias had spotted our embrace, our laugh. But by the hard lines of his jaw, and the daggers shooting from his eyes, he’d completely misread the entire exchange.

CHAPTER 44 Tobias The next two quarters flew by. After a verbal tongue-lashing from Coach in the locker room at halftime, Detrick’s game was back in sync with the rest of us. We stayed ahead until the very end, though it continued to be a neckand-neck battle. It came down to the last ten seconds of the clock. All we had to do was keep the ball while our opponents stayed hot on our trail. It was Detrick’s ball, and our fate was in his hands. Unfortunately, I was heavily guarded —racking up eighteen points would do that to a shooting guard, but I had managed to get open, long enough for Detrick to slingshot it my way if he needed. The ball clock was running down, and he had to either take the shot or toss it to me. No

one should have been surprised by that. Detrick took the shot. Blocked. The Chiefs had it on their side of the court before most of us could blink. And there it was, the three-pointer on the buzzer that won the game—and it wasn’t in our favor. I stood there, my jaw agape, my heart dropping into my stomach. That should have been our win. Detrick knew it, too, which was probably why he was storming off the court and shoving cameras out of his face. Press interviews sucked. What could I tell them, except that the team was still learning how to work with each other? Even if that was true, everyone knew the real reason for our loss. Detrick’s ego, once again, had gotten the better of him and fucked up the game for all of us. Added to what I’d witnessed during halftime between Amelia and her ex, I was ready for the night to be over. Voices were muffled behind Coach Reagan’s office door, where Coach ripped him

a new one. Other than that, the locker room was quiet as we all reflected on a game well played— except by the one person we’d counted on to have our backs. “This isn’t a negotiation, Detrick. Toby’s the better shooter, and you’re the better point guard. Suck it up, or you’re going to find yourself traded before you can fail another assist.” I couldn’t make out what Detrick said back since his voice was quieter. “Tell that to the next college hopeful that wants your spot. Who would die for the opportunity you’ve been given. I want you in the gym tomorrow at six a.m. Don’t even think about partying tonight. You’re running drills until you remember what your role on this team is.” Coach walked out of his office first, slamming the door behind him. He didn’t even make eye contact with us. “Training facility at nine a.m. We’re getting this shit straight for regular season.”

The guys started moving after that, grabbing their things and leaving or hitting the showers. No one felt like celebrating tonight, especially not when we had an impromptu practice the next day. I showered, letting the steam from the water soak into my joints. Closing my eyes, I let my thoughts drift from basketball to her. Always her. What the fuck am I going to do? I couldn’t avoid her for an entire season, although that was what Otis thought I should do. As I was walking back from my shower, I ignored Detrick as he stomped to his locker. He yanked open the door, still clearly heated after his talk with Coach. Blake clapped Detrick on his back to get him to calm down. “Hey, man, we’ll get it straight. Don’t you worry.” Detrick growled. “We fucking better. You coming tonight?” “Nah, dude. We’ve got early practice. You heard Coach. Don’t you have to be in at six?” Detrick slammed his locker and tossed his

bag over his shoulder. “I’ll be good. Need a little stress reliever tonight, if you know what I mean.” I could feel his eyes shoot over to me. “I’ve got some dance pussy coming to the house. Enough to go around, but that Amie chick is reserved for my cock only.” I straightened on instinct as my entire body tensed. “You hear that, James?” Detrick taunted. “C’mon, dude,” Blake tried. “Sit down.” Out of my peripheral, I saw Blake’s body fly backward, then his back smashed into the locker. “What the fuck?” he yelled at Detrick. “Don’t tell me to sit down, mother fucker.” I faced Detrick, my blood boiling and my fists balled at my sides. “You talk a lot of shit for someone who lost his position to the new guy on the team. Maybe you should listen to Blake. Sit down, Malone, or I will sit you down.” Detrick flew forward, pushing and pinning me to the locker, his palm landing around my neck in a choke hold. “Say that again while

Amie—I’m sorry, Amelia—sits on my cock. I bet you want to watch it, too.” He flashed his teeth. “But I don’t think she’d be into that. Think she wants me all to herself, bro.” I could have murdered him. It might have been worth sacrificing my career over. Or I could let him run his mouth and dig his own grave eventually. But I couldn’t let him talk shit about my girl. “Amelia wouldn’t touch a dirty bastard like you. Go back to your wife, Detrick. If she can still stand to be around you.” Detrick’s mouth curled into a snarl, and his arm cranked back. Fuck.

CHAPTER 45 Amelia I’d just tugged on my Lions tank top and was heading to bed when the tapping started. My heart caught in my throat as I listened to the familiar rhythm. The same one I’d waited for so many nights in Malibu. I made my way to my living room and looked out at the sliding glass door that led to my private courtyard. Of course it was Tobias. I’d almost expected him after he’d seen me with Ben. And only he would think to come in through the back. But as I stepped closer to the door and got a better visual of him, I gasped. His lip was cut and bright red from fresh blood. His eye was puffy and already bruising. I quickly unlocked the latch and slid open the door, but he didn’t move from his spot. His breaths were heaving, his gaze dark and

rolling over me. Besides my Lions tank top, I wore purple panties and long socks that reached just under my knees. I swallowed. “What happened?” Tobias’s jaw ticked. “Detrick happened. I should have pounded him back.” My mouth fell open. “You just let him hit you?” “I don’t hit guys smaller than me.” I decided not to point out that Detrick was actually a couple of inches taller. But if he meant personality-wise, I agreed. He nodded at my attire. “You didn’t go to the party.” I folded my arms across my chest. “Neither did you.” “Are you back with Ben?” The way he asked it, so defeated, made my chest ache. “No, Tobias, I’m not back with Ben. He asked me out, and I told him no. For good.” Tobias sighed, like there were heavier worries on his mind. “Yeah, well, I’m pretty sure Detrick figured out something is going on

between us. It’s only a matter of time before he uses it against me, and by doing that, he’ll hurt you.” Stepping forward, I gripped the front of Tobias’s shirt and peered into his eyes. Without the sun backing them, they appeared to be a beautiful midnight blue. “He can’t prove a thing. We were neighbors as kids. There’s no rule about sharing a past.” “But I want your future, and there is a rule about that.” He gripped my waist and lowered his head toward mine. “You think we’re fooling anyone, Birthday Girl? We’re not. We’re two kids from Malibu who couldn’t let each other go. Still can’t.” He ran a hand up my side until he was holding my hand and moving it with his. “Every time I get close to you, you’re inside me.” He placed my hand over his heart. “Here.” Then he moved it up his chest to his head, holding my hand there while he slammed his eyes closed. “And here.” He blinked his eyes open. “I try, but I can’t tear my eyes away. And I have to stop

myself, every goddamn time, from reaching for you. You do it too.” My breath hitched in my throat, and then a simple nod was all it took to agree. Blood pumped through my veins, and my heart pounded in my throat. “What do we do?” He shook his head. “I don’t know what we should do. I only know what we shouldn’t. And right now, all I want is what I can’t have.” A shiver ran through me after his intentionally careless and passionate words. “Then take what you want, Tobias. Just take it. Because no one is giving you permission.” I swallowed. “No one but me.” Something flashed in his eyes, then his lips were crushing mine. He was a starved animal, devouring me like he hadn’t eaten in years. Like I was his sin and he had no qualms indulging. In return, I fed into him like rain in a desert, and it seemed he would never get enough. A hint of metal hit my senses, and I

remembered his cut only after I’d already tasted it. I didn’t think to stop, though. I didn’t think to go easy on him at all. After all this time, I was too needy, selfish, ravenous. And it didn’t seem like he was going to stop. His palms gripped my ass, lifting me into his arms and placing me on the back of the couch. He wedged himself between my thighs, pushing his erection into me, and growled. “Only you,” he whispered. “You’re the only one who makes me feel like this. Like I’d die without you.” I knew he didn’t mean it literally, but I could feel his words in his kiss. His arms wrapped my waist as he adjusted himself before pushing into me again, this time making me gasp from the friction. “It’s been too long.” Words whispered across my neck as a hand slid up my leg. His thumb grazed my clit through my panties, and I gyrated against it. Tugging the cloth to the side, he slid a finger against me, rubbing me, circling me where I was most sensitive, then

diving inside with two thick fingers. A scream burst from deep in my throat as he worked his magic, my palms pushing into the couch. His gaze was fixated on my face, taking cues from my changing expressions. Then his lips landed on my neck again as he pulled my hips forward while my insides coiled. And just when I felt like I would unravel, he slid his fingers from me and lifted me into his arms again. He carried me to my bedroom, where he laid me on my mattress. He lifted his shirt over his head then pushed his shorts down, letting them fall around his ankles. All that was left were his sky-blue boxer briefs that hugged him just enough that I could make out every ridge and vein of his length. His eyes scrolled my body from above. My shirt was pushed up, revealing my stomach, and my socks and panties were still in place. I didn’t know what he would go for first. Not until he knelt by the side of my bed and

tugged my entire body forward. His mouth breathed hot on my core while his finger pulled the scrap of fabric from my waist and tugged it down, leaving me bare for him. He closed his eyes, and I swore I could feel his shudder as he took me in. A finger landed on my clit and started circling it gently while he took a swipe at me, causing a twisting sensation inside my belly. Feeling desperate for his touch, I pushed my pelvis up from the bed, wanting more and drowning in need. I placed my hand on his head and pushed down, nudging him toward me and hinting for him to unravel me with his tongue. He buried himself between my legs, taking what had always been his, swiping my center like it was the sweetest thing he’d ever tasted. And when he pulled away, I groaned my wish greedily into the air. “I want more.” He took another lick, toying with my clit with his finger, but his mouth moved away. “So do I, Amelia.”

“I’ve missed you,” I breathed out. He nodded and slid his hands up to remove my top. I tossed it over my head and turned back to see his eyes appreciating the view. “Fucking beautiful.” I reached for his briefs to help him remove them, watching with my own hungry eyes as he sprang free. Tobias was a beautiful man, and his cock was no different. I slid back on the bed, swallowing as he watched me move, then he followed until he was hovering over me so as not to crush me with his weight. “I love you, Amelia. I know I told you three years ago, but you need to hear it now. I should have told you that a long time ago when I first knew.” My heart took off at a gallop. “When did you first know?” “The night before I left for Chicago, when we were in your kitchen. As much as you were hurting inside, you were still trying to take care of me. I just knew I had to find a way back to you, and I’d go crazy trying.”

My throat tightened as he began to speak. “In a way, I’ve always loved you, even when I was too young to understand it wasn’t the kind of love that would last for eternity, like the love I have for you now. The kind of love that started on our spring break trip in Big Sur, when you took your time with me and never made me feel pressured to do anything I wasn’t ready for.” His lips turned up at the corners before meeting mine in the softest, sweetest kiss. Then he moved his mouth to my ear while his knee pushed my legs apart. “I want to feel you tonight. Tell me it’s okay.” I couldn’t breathe, but I managed a nod. A moment later, he started to enter, pushing slowly, steadily as he slid inside, until he filled me completely. We breathed in at the same time, the sensation intoxicating as pleasure swirled through me. My heels dug into the mattress as he moved like a pro surfer during high tide. I was his perfect wave, and he rode me all the way to shore.

And this time, it wasn’t the crash that would break us when we finally touched down on the sand.

CHAPTER 46 Tobias My eyes opened to soft light filtering in through the blinds and Amelia’s signature green apple scent. The weight on my arm and warmth in my chest brought a smile to my face. Three years had felt like a century when waiting for all the stars to align. And for the first time in a long time, I could feel everything clicking into place, like a new constellation was forming, and we would soon be one. I was careful not to jostle her as I took in her sleeping form. Long lashes rested on the top of her cheeks as her mouth parted to take in a deeper breath. Her soft skin glowed without a single crease disturbing her complexion. And as she lay there wearing nothing save for the rays of light that dressed her skin, I knew

beyond a shadow of a doubt that somehow we would make it. She stirred beside me, moaning as she slid her hand up my side and over my chest. Her eyes were closed while her mouth curled into a smile. “Morning.” I grinned. “Morning, beautiful. How’d you sleep?” “Amazing.” She peeked at me with one eye open, then she pulled herself up while lifting her leg over my waist. She straddled me with confidence, her long hair slipping over her shoulders and falling onto my chest. I moved my hands over her thighs and up to her waist. “You’re already spoiling me. First bacon, now this? What’s next?” Her teeth sank into her bottom lip as her green eyes darted to my mouth. “I’m more of a spur-of-the-moment type of gal.” Chuckling, I swept a lock of hair over her ear. “And what does my spur-of-the-moment type of gal feel like doing next?” She lowered her head, her lips teasing mine

before she whispered, “I can really only think of one thing.” She shifted against me, making me groan. I was more than happy to receive an Amelia wake-up call that involved sinking inside her again, but when she hopped off the bed and reached for the tank top she’d been wearing the night before, I groaned my disappointment. “Wait, where are you going?” “Don’t move,” she warned with a lift of her finger. Then she bounced off to the kitchen, leaving me with a view of her sexy ass. She returned holding a bag of ice and a wet towel. Then she straddled me again. I reached for her wrist to pause her movements. “You don’t have to do that. It’s a little late to help the swelling. Besides, it doesn’t even hurt.” Her lips twitched with amusement. “Okay, tough guy. Then humor me.” She set the ice aside and started dabbing at where my lip throbbed. “Geez. Didn’t it hurt to kiss me?” Her brows were bent together, genuine concern resting on her face, and I couldn’t

help laughing. “No more than not kissing you. Nothing could have torn me from your sweet lips last night.” This time she laughed. “Shh,” she said. “No more talking.” Her gentle smile followed, and my heart quickened. I loved that she felt the need to take care of me, like I was hers. “Are you and Detrick going to be okay?” I snorted. “Detrick and I will never be okay. Especially after last night. But we’ve got an entire season, so we need to figure something out. Talking to him might be the only way.” “If he’ll listen.” I could tell she was treading lightly. “We’ll see. If he’s out to get me, then going after you is the obvious play, but it will only backfire. He just had a party at his place last night and invited a bunch of dancers, you included. He’d be pretty stupid to say something about you and me.” She shuddered above me. “I hope you’re right.”

Anxiety unleashed its poison inside of me. “What if I’m wrong? We don’t know for sure what could happen, but it kills me to think that us being together is what destroys your dream.” “Tobias, you need to stop worrying about me. I’m well aware of the consequences, okay? Both of us need to stop making decisions for the other person. I learned my lesson from walking away from you three years ago. Please don’t walk away from me again.” My throat tightened with her words. “I won’t. I promise.” I moved my hands up her thighs, loving the way her smooth skin felt on my rough ones. “So, it’s just like old times, then.” I grinned as her eyes caught mine. “Sneaking into your bedroom late at night and counting down the hours until I get to see you again.” She tilted her head. “Counting down the hours? Really? Whatever happened to that cocky guy who I had to beg to take me away for spring break?”

A hammering started in my chest. “Oh, Amelia. Don’t you know?” My eyes searched hers. “He fell in love with the girl next door.”

CHAPTER 47 Tobias Otis was not pleased when I missed our early morning workout and called him on the way to practice. But instead of lying, like I easily could have, I decided to tell him the truth to let him know where I stood. “What is it with this girl?” “You know what it is. You know everything,” I said with an equal amount of frustration. After I’d come home from LA a complete mess, Otis listened to every word. I told him about the deep spiral I fell into after learning about my adoption and how she was the first person I truly opened up to about it. I told him about the day I first really noticed her. How she wouldn’t leave my mind. I told him about our trip to the mountains, where she helped

me remember my love for basketball. When I was with her, I remembered that no matter where I came from, I would always have a home. Otis and I usually never talked about serious topics like this. In fact, I didn’t think we’d ever talked in depth about my adoption. He knew the basics, and that had always been enough. “You come from a good family, with parents who love you and provided you with everything you could have ever needed. You think things would have been better if they’d told you about your adoption? Why, Tobias? What good would that have done?” The dreaded question. I’d always wondered the same thing. What good would knowing have done? It didn’t change anything that had occurred. Knowing might have only caused more devastation—which was exactly what had happened when I’d found out my mom had died before I’d ever gotten to meet her. “That’s not something even I know the

answer to. Maybe it would have explained why I’d always felt a little off balance, like I was … different from the rest of my family. Maybe it would have been easier to find my birth father before too much time had passed. Or explain why I’m the only basketball fan in the family. The point is, most people know where they came from. Their nationality. Their extended family.” I swallowed. “It’s easy to lose yourself when you don’t know what you’re tethered to.” I sighed and shook my head. “Look, I don’t expect you to understand. I don’t expect anyone to.” “I do understand.” “Do you?” Silence stretched through the air. “I’m here to support you. So tell me, what would make you feel better? You know the truth now. You’ve known for years.” “I still know nothing about where I came from. Where did my parents meet? What did they do for a living? Why did they give me up? Why wasn’t my father on the birth

certificate? Who the hell is he, Otis?” I slammed my hand on my steering wheel. “Why did my parents and Trinity find it necessary to keep so many secrets from me?” “You have got to find a way to let go of this resentment you’re harboring for your family and move on.” “Why should I?” I growled. “You’re wasting years being mad at the people who were always there for you. You’ve been pushing them away when all they ever wanted was for you to be one of them. They’re your family, Toby. Doesn’t pushing them away contradict what you think you’re missing out on? You weren’t abandoned. You were embraced and loved in a way most kids dream of. Learn from your parents’ biggest mistake. Don’t wait until it’s too late.” I sighed into my phone. “All right, dude. I hear you, but right now I need to get to practice.” “We’ll talk more tomorrow during your workout. Don’t you dare skip on me. And

bring your energy.” I rolled my eyes. “Always do.” Detrick was running sprints by the time I got to the training facility, my mood a complete three-sixty from the night before. Amelia had always had that effect on me, turning any dark moment into a rainbow of color. Not even Detrick could get under my skin today, but he would definitely be hearing from me after practice. “James,” Coach yelled when he saw me. His brows were pressed together, and his finger pointed in my direction. “What the hell happened to your face?” Even from the other side of the court, I could see Detrick’s head whip toward mine. I hadn’t thought about what I would say regarding the fist he’d thrown into my face after the game. In a way, I’d egged him on by talking about his wife, but I wouldn’t take any of it back. That fist brought me to Amelia and made all the dark days without her convert to color. Getting punched was worth it.

“Nah, Coach. Just a little accident. I’m fine.” Blake stepped over to me, his eyes narrowed on my face. For a second, I thought he was going to out Detrick and me, but then he clapped a hand to my face and grinned. “That’s some shiner, James. Get into a fight with your locker?” I chuckled and nudged him off me. “Something like that.” “All right, all right,” Coach said with narrowed eyes. “You punks think you can pull one over on me. Since you’re so chummy, I guess you can volunteer for the scrimmage match at the Staples Center this afternoon.” “What scrimmage?” Blake and I asked at the same time. Coach pointed at Detrick, who was nearing us after another lap. “That’s forty-five, Coach.” Coach waved Detrick in, placing him to my right. “Bring it in.” He waved over the other players to join us. “Today’s practice will be a little different. The game last night turned into

a shit show. Which tells me, your attitudes need some adjustment. We’ll be running partner drills for the rest of practice. Detrick and Toby, you two will be paired up. And I’ll continue to partner you two up until you learn how to get your heads out of your asses and work together.” I was surprised to see Detrick nodding beside me. I hated to give the guy the benefit of the doubt, but maybe his early-morning time with Coach had been beneficial. “After practice,” Coach continued, “I’ll need ten volunteers to play a scrimmage match at the Staples Center. The dance team is holding a fundraiser, and Zoie thought it would be great for some players to show their faces and give the camp dancers an experience they’ll never forget.” Coach patted Detrick, Blake, and me on the shoulders. “We have our first volunteers. Who else?” Everyone chuckled while they raised their hands, too. Coach grinned. “Now, there we go.” He selected the remaining seven spots

then pointed at the court. “The rest of you. Pick a partner and get out there.” We started to jog off the sidelines, Detrick at my side, when Coach called for our attention. We stopped in our tracks and turned around. “Those of you heading to Staples later, don’t make me remind you about the rules. We support the dance girls, we don’t fuck them. Got it?” “Yes, Coach,” everyone chimed in unison. Well, everyone but me.

The guys all drove separately to the Staples Center, but when we arrived, Detrick pulled me aside in the parking lot. “Thanks for not outing me with Coach. I’m in enough hot water as it is.” I nodded, examining him quizzically, wondering if this new version of Detrick might just stick. “Seems like it. But about that. Does that mean we can cool it now? This beef

you have with me since back in Chicago. The flirtation with Amelia. I don’t know how you figured it out, but Coach can’t know about me and her. Just like he can’t know you reconstructed my face.” Detrick chuckled and shook his head. “Dude, I was just giving you shit. I didn’t know you two were a thing.” “Well, we are. So back off her, okay?” He nodded and held up his right hand along with three fingers on the other one. “Scout’s honor.” With that, I laughed through my confusion. “I never took you for a Boy Scout.” “Three years. I was the best of ’em.” He winked then slapped me on the chest. “Look, I’m here to play ball. Sorry for the shit I gave you, but I ain’t trying to fuck up my life over some new punk on the team. We can be cool now.” He said it like it had always been his decision, but I wasn’t going to argue. He could be as cocky as he wanted as long as he

dropped the target from my back. “All right, Detrick.” We slapped palms then shook hands, our eyes meeting with a firm promise. “And you’ll keep your mouth shut about Amelia.” He grinned. “Yup. Long as you keep your mouth shut about the reconstructive surgery I gave you.” I rolled my eyes. “Still a punk.”

CHAPTER 48 Amelia It was agony parting ways with Tobias that morning, but he had early practice while I’d had a million errands to run before the first day of dance camp. It was an annual event held at the Staples Center where young dreamers came out to learn what it was like to be a pro dancer on the court. I’d attended the camp myself in high school, and that was where my dreams began to solidify. It gave me a taste of what my future could look like among the loudest NBA fans in the league. I couldn’t wait to give that same experience to others. It was the first big event I was responsible for as captain, and I wouldn’t let anything slip through the cracks. The merchandise had been ordered, registration was complete, badges

had been printed, and activities had all been planned, with each of the Lionesses helping me today. But I still wanted to get everything set up before the rush arrived. By the time the Lions players walked onto the court, we’d already wrapped up the last of the choreography, and the dancers were practicing on their own while the Lionesses took a breather on the bleachers. I grinned at the sight of Tobias running in dressed in his practice uniform. “Surprise,” Zoie said to us with a grin. “Coach Reagan and I thought it would be best to keep this little treat a secret.” I stood with a laugh. “I think that was probably smart.” The dance camp was an open session, meaning anyone off the street could walk in and watch. Usually, only family came to see the performances at the end, but if word had gotten out that the players were there, it would have been a mess of a crowd to control. I turned to Zoie. “So, what’s the plan?”

“The boys are going to scrimmage while you give the dancers a real-life experience.” She winked at me. “You’ll figure it out.” Between the rest of the Lionesses and me, we did figure it out. We split the camp up between us and took them to different spots on the court where they would see us during a live game—the sidelines, under the net, in the crowd. And then we let them perform.

The entire experience was a hit with the dancers. I could practically feel the rush running through them as they performed their halftime performance then left for the day. Stephanie and Zoie stayed to help me clean up until I shooed them out when I started picking up the remaining trash—badges that had been ripped off, empty water bottles. It wasn’t much, so I figured I could grab it all myself. “I’m going to finish here and then change.

You two go. Thanks for everything today.” I hugged them both before they walked off. Once the floor seemed clean enough, I entered the tunnel toward the women’s locker room. The eerie silence was back, and I wondered if I should grab my things and leave. The last thing I wanted was another confrontation with Ben. I was crossing the men’s locker room when I heard the sound of a door creaking open. As I turned my head toward the sound, someone gripped my hand and tugged. I stumbled into darkness, my feet struggling to keep me upright as I opened my mouth to scream. A hand clamped over my mouth as another arm wrapped around my center, holding me firmly against a warm body. My muffled cry was absorbed by a rough hand as his other arm pressed me against him. I could feel his erection push into me from behind, followed by a shushing that tickled my ear. “Amelia, it’s just me.” A sigh of relief shook through me as I

instantly relaxed in his arms. Familiar, strong arms. I should have known it was him. I knew those hands that had played inside of me. I knew that build that molded so perfectly against me. And I knew that familiar scent of coconut and sage that filled the air around us. But in my fear, I’d missed all the signs. Not now. We were in the men’s locker room, and it was so dark, I couldn’t see a thing except for the lights of an exit sign on the other side of the room. But I didn’t need to see to feel, and I felt all of him now. Fear lanced through me, this time for a completely different reason. “Tobias, someone could see us.” “Everyone went home.” His gruff voice, just a whisper, sent a chill through me. “It’s just you and me, Amelia.” His lips pressed to my ear. “I didn’t want to wait to tell you, but I talked to Detrick. We’re cool now.” I smiled when I felt his lips brush mine. “Good.” Things were finally starting to right

themselves. He kissed me while his hands explored the fabric of my skirt. “Hmm,” he hummed. “Amelia?” He started to lift up the fabric around my thighs. “What?” I breathed. “Is it crazy that I want you right here, right now?” He spun me around, and I gasped. His palm moved from my mouth to my throat, and his fingers landed on my pulse where my heart only beat for him. “Yes.” A whisper was all I could manage as his arm, which had been snaked around my middle, started moving. “I’m sorry,” he said before his palm dragged across my belly then slid down my short skirt until the tips of his fingers found my upper thigh. “But I do.” I swallowed as he yanked the material up and pressed his cock into the thin fabric of my Spanks. He was so hard against me, but I relished the pressure our connection created. That connection never broke, not even as he

guided me forward through the dark room that smelled of musk and leather. “Do you know where we are?” he rasped. He pushed into me again, and I moaned at the feel of him as excitement lit my core. “Your locker room.” I could feel his nod as his head brushed against my cheek. “That’s right, Birthday Girl. And you’re about to make one of my lifelong fantasies come true, aren’t you?” I let out a soft laugh. “Am I?” “Yes. Put your hands in front of you and hold onto my locker.” I did as he commanded, my breathing shallow as I felt the wood beneath each palm in front of me. The men’s lockers were different from the women’s. Theirs were wooden and open-faced, leaving just an edge to hang on to. Tobias stepped back just enough to slip my Spanks down my legs. I kicked them away, spreading my legs before he could get to them, and I was rewarded with his finger, testing my

readiness with a quick dip inside. “Fuck.” My voice shook out the curse as my entire body trembled. “Shh,” he reminded me as his finger was replaced by his cock. “If someone walks by outside, they might be able to hear you.” He nudged against me as he spoke, dragging a moan from my throat. “I’ll be quiet.” His palms gripped my ass, spreading my cheeks while he pushed his way inside me. “Good girl,” he growled. He’d never entered me so fast before. My body tensed at the pressure, making it harder to adjust to his size. Once I did, a soft sigh left me. He took me that way, rough, steady, raw, until I could feel everything inside me tightening. “Wait, not yet,” he said, his breathing heavy. He pulled out of me before spinning us around, and he sat at the base of his locker, which was lifted a few feet from the floor. “Sit on me.”

I straddled him, my knees pressed into the wood on each side of him, desperate to continue where we’d left off a moment ago. I was so close. He placed his tip against me, and I didn’t waste any time sliding down to his base until he filled me completely. We groaned together, then my lips found his as I moved above him. He gripped my waist, steadying me when I wanted to move faster. It was my turn to be ravenous, greedy, as we fought our way to the finish line, our breaths clawing the air, our slick skin becoming more slippery with need, and our bodies colliding like we were two souls, desperate to become one. It was all we had always said it would be, and now we were reveling in the destiny we’d created. Our love wasn’t just written in the stars. Our love was the stuff stars and planets were made of. They had created them and told the story of our past, present, and future combined. And there was only room to grow.

When I felt the first sign of tension between my legs, I warned him of my impending release. Heat spread through me, exhausting me and energizing me all at once. “Fuck.” He moaned his warning against my lips as he pushed himself into me, meeting each bounce with a thrust that drove him deeper inside of me than he’d ever gone before. When my release reached the brink, I bit down on his shoulder to muffle my scream, and he moaned out my name like it was his favorite curse word. Everything was perfect. And then we were free-falling through the darkness, reveling in this moment and each other. Everything was blissfully perfect.

CHAPTER 49 Amelia It was the first home game of the season, and the crowd hadn’t sat down once since entering the arena. Feet stomped in the bleachers, chants were rising in volume, and music blared through the speakers. It was already a thunderous symphony of excitement, but when the team introduction started, the crowd noise became deafening. The intro was a grandiose production projected from a white curtain that had dropped down from the ceiling. A video played with locker room interviews and highlights from last season, along with a blooper reel. There were even candid shots from practices and team events that took place over the summer, along with footage of the Lioness audition and rehearsals.

When the reel was over, a live feed from the court started and zoomed in on me. I beamed and shook the pom-pom in the camera man’s direction before clapping my hands together and leading the girls in our first pregame routine. Unlike in the preseason games, all attention was on the court instead of on phones or conversations, and the response to our cheers was insane. I’d never felt a spike of adrenaline quite like it, but it was the perfect fuel to my already-charged-up veins. “Sherrie, Deb, and Lucy,” I said, looking down at my chart. “Take the stairs after intros. Steph, Mags, and Lana, you’ll be manning the prize cannon with Legit.” Legit the Lion, our team mascot, wore a lion costume and enormous jewelry. He often appeared with us during our quarter performances, as well as performing stunts of his own. “All right, let’s do this, girls!” I clapped, sending us all into an excited cheer.

I’d really found my groove as captain. Zoie trusted me with most of the day-to-day tasks, like communication with the girls, managing the team schedule, and creating opportunities for others to lead. The team was successful, different from the Lionesses from my past. We were a cohesive unit, the girls were happy, and most importantly, we were healthy. Team introductions started, and the girls lined up near the Lions’ tunnel to welcome the players. It wasn’t until Tobias jogged out and the arena exploded with noise that I realized just how big of a deal he had quickly become. Preseason had been a huge showcase for him with the media. Between his early stats and the work he’d been doing at the rec, he’d more than proved himself, and the fans already loved him. I was at the end of the row, and just as Tobias had done in the last three preseason home games, his eyes met mine and lingered long enough to pass his secret greeting. That

was all it took for my heart to start its freestyle routine in my chest. We’d spent every second of our free time together, and I knew that nothing at this point could stand in the way of our being together. It was a mutual agreement, that we would take the risk if it meant being together, and we would be okay, whatever the consequences. Even if that meant one of us being removed, we would deal with that when it came, but we would do it together. The game was about to start when I jogged to my spot under the basket near where Zoie was hanging out. “Such a rush,” she said, her eyes wide and aimed on the court action. The teams were facing off, getting ready to jump for the ball to start the game. At the sound of the whistle, Detrick shot up and smacked the ball before his opponent could. Tobias reached it first and dribbled down court to his sweet spot at the three. He took the shot while players were still catching up to him.

Swish. “Now that’s how you start a game,” shouted a voice from the bleachers behind me. “Let’s go, son!” My ears pricked at the words, and I turned to see Tobias’s dad there. But it wasn’t just him, it was the entire family, Trinity included. My heart thundered in my chest, combating the noise in the stands as I watched my former best friend clap. Her hair was light brown now, and it was cut in an angled bob. Long, dangling earrings dropped from her earlobes, and she wore a jersey with Tobias’s number on it along with cropped white leggings. I swallowed, taking in my friend. Memories of Trinity had always haunted me, but they’d gotten stronger over recent months since I’d been spending time with Tobias. We might have had a huge falling out, but I still missed what we’d once had. Looking at her pinched smile and sad eyes, I wanted nothing more than for us to have a second chance, the same way Tobias and I had gotten ours.

“Amie,” Zoie called. I snapped my head forward just as a whistle blew, calling for a time-out. I was the first one on my feet to lead the girls in a sideline dance to keep the crowd entertained as the timer ticked down. But even after the players moved back onto the court and the game clock restarted, I couldn’t stop looking into the stands at Tobias’s family. If Tobias hadn’t known they were coming, he wouldn’t have seen them during the game. His focus was one thousand percent on the ball, which was clear by the numbers that lit up the jumbotron. And the fans weren’t ignoring them either. Every time Tobias got his hands on the ball, the crowd roared louder and louder, until it was clear who the new fan favorite was. Toby James was a phenomenon, and everyone knew it. The game ended with the Lions ahead by a landslide, and as I had done after every other home game so far, I showered in the locker room, packed my things, and headed to

Tobias’s house. He liked it when I was there when he came home on game nights, and I loved greeting him. I was entering his neighborhood when the phone rang, and I smiled when I saw his name light up my dash. I tapped the button on the steering wheel. “Hey there, champ. Good game tonight.” He chuckled. “You almost home?” My chest warmed at his question. “Almost. You on your way?” I always beat him home, no matter how much time I took getting ready. Tobias had post-game interviews and lectures with Coach to sit through before he could even think about leaving the Staples Center. I just hoped he would leave the game tape until the morning. “Don’t be mad, but—” “No,” I whined with a laugh. “Tonight? But it’s so late already.” He made a cute groaning noise, one that told me he was as frustrated as me. “Otis is

following me to the house. He wants to watch tape tonight. Just think about it. You and I can spend the entire day together before I leave for Houston.” I pouted into the air. “I have practice tomorrow morning.” “I’ll make you breakfast in bed, and then we can do something when you’re done.” I bit back my smile and started to respond, but when I pulled into his driveway and my headlights spotlighted a figure on his front porch, I sucked in my breath instead. I knew who it was immediately, the white leggings and Lions jersey a dead giveaway. “Um, Tobias. You’ll never believe who’s at your house.” A beat of silence filled the air. “Who?” I parked my car and sat there with the engine running. “Did you know your family was at the game?” “No. Wait… My family is there?” I detected anger in his tone, and I hated that I had to be the messenger. “No, just Trinity,

but your family was at the game tonight. They didn’t tell you they would be there?” “They’ve been coming to my games since the beginning. I figured they’d show.” Something nagged at me. The puzzle wasn’t adding up. His entire family had been decked out in Lions gear and had stood on their feet most of the game. Even Trinity, with her sad eyes, was shouting at the top of her lungs for her estranged brother. Why couldn’t Tobias see that? Three years ago, I’d taken his feelings as gospel, especially since his version of the story had been the only one I’d heard. But what if he just couldn’t see what had always been in front of him? He’d been so hurt by their lies that he’d turned his family into villainous characters, and maybe they deserved it. Or maybe they just loved the shit out of their son. “We can go to your place if you want.” “No, Tobias. I think you need to talk to your sister. She’s here. She’s waiting to see you. And she’s probably going to crap a few million

bricks when she sees me.” Tobias let out a heavy breath. “I don’t want to deal with this shit tonight.” “You don’t want to deal with this shit ever. And I’m sorry, but you can’t keep ignoring their attempts to love you.” “Whose side are you on?” “Yours.” He went silent again, and I worried about where his mind would go. He’d never fully dealt with his adoption, but maybe it was time he tried to. “I’ll see you when you get home.” “No, wait—” I ended the call and shut off the engine then took another breath before exiting my car. I moved up the cobblestone walk to the front door, where Trinity sat on the steps, a manila envelope in her lap. She watched me approach, her eyes dimming with each clomp of my step, then she stood with a glare. “I should have known.” I frowned, hating that after all these years,

Trinity still held so much animosity. “Hey, Trin.” My voice was soft. I hoped she would find me nonthreatening. I imagined this hadn’t been easy for her, dropping by her brother’s house unannounced after everything. Seeing me here after the way it had all ended. I could at least try to ease some of the tension. “I like what you’ve done with your hair.” She stared at me like I was a loon. “Really? You like my hair? That’s the best you could come up with?” “C’mon, Trin. I’m trying.” Her expression grew more irritated by the second. “Trying to what, exactly? Act like you weren’t sneaking around with my brother behind my back? I won’t forget, Amelia. While I was desperate to spend time with my brother, you were stealing all of it.” “Maybe if you had told me about his adoption first, I would have understood what you were going through, and I could have helped. We used to always talk to each other

about everything.” Her mouth quivered as she jabbed a finger at her own chest. “You’re saying this is my fault?” “I’m saying that maybe it’s time to squash this. We both love your brother. There’s room for both of us.” She scoffed, and I could see her eyes watering. “Not if Tobias won’t even talk to me.” “He will,” I said, gently. “He’s on his way home right now, and he knows you’re here.” She sighed. “That doesn’t mean he’ll speak to me.” My throat tightened, and I realized how little Trinity understood about her brother and me. How deep our feelings had grown since that spring fling in Big Sur. Soon, she would learn to understand that. Now it was my turn to shift uncomfortably. Then my eyes darted to the envelope in her hands before swallowing. “I hope you’re here for good reasons, Trin. Tobias has been

through enough, and … I just would hate for him to be dealt another blow.” She frowned and clutched the envelope to her chest. “He told you?” I cocked an eye. “That you knew about the adoption before he did? Yeah, he told me.” She closed her eyes, and when she opened them, I could see her regret, her pain. “I haven’t been able to forgive myself, so—” She let out a heavy breath. “I did something to try to make up for it all, but—” She shook her head as if the words were stuck in her throat. “I’m worried it’s only going to hurt him more.” I took a step forward, screaming at myself to stay calm and hear her out. “What did you do?” Worry was etched in lines on her face, making my insides stir. “I hired someone to investigate where Tobias came from, to give him more information than those stupid documents ever could. I wanted him to stop wondering, and hopefully come back to us.

We’re his family, Amelia, and he barely talks to us, least of all me.” She was talking so fast, I knew a bomb was coming. A grenade that appeared to be a dud until you got too close. My heart squeezed. “What did you find?” A tear slipped from her eye. “I found Tobias’s father.”

CHAPTER 50 Tobias Amelia and Trinity were standing on my front porch when I pulled up the drive. Their heads were bent low but jerked up on my approach. Not wanting to waste time, I parked behind Amelia’s car and switched off the engine. It took a couple of deep breaths for the pounding in my chest to slow and the throbbing in my head to clear. I didn’t know why Trinity had come or how she’d even found my house, but she couldn’t stay. It had been a long night. Our first regular season game. A win. I didn’t want to ruin it with our unresolved family drama. Starting up the drive, I squinted in an attempt to decipher the girl’s moods. Had they been arguing? Making amends? For Amelia’s sake, I hoped it was the latter. Trinity

had never been fair to her, cutting ties while forgiving me the instant she found out we would be in Chicago together, and I’d always felt bad about that. I was nearing the porch when I saw the tears in my sister’s eyes. My chest jolted, telling me maybe I wasn’t so hardened to my family after all. If anyone had hurt Trinity, I would murder them. “Trin, are you okay?” She sniffed while Amelia placed a hand on her back, and I could see that they’d both been crying. Then Trinity met my eyes. “I know you’re still mad at me. You have every right to be. But you have to know, I never meant to hurt you. I was just—” “I know, I know. You were doing what Mom and Dad asked.” I couldn’t listen to the same defense. I was sick and tired of my family justifying their actions and stripping me of decisions, manipulating our time together so it served them. Her eyes and fists squeezed shut. “I was. I know that I fucked up, but I’m trying. So, can

you give me a chance to make things right between us? Before you decide to write me off forever?” And that was when I spied the envelope in her hand. I stared at it like it was poison as instinct screamed for me not to grab it. “You’re a little late, aren’t you?” I spit out. “I already know everything I need to know.” Her entire demeanor wilted. “You don’t know this.” She pushed the envelope into my hands and took a step back. “I was planning to tell you that I’d known, but things had been so tense for that entire year after you found out about your adoption, and then with the way things ended in Malibu when I found out about you and Amelia, I felt like you were slipping away. From me, from the family, from everything. You may not have considered me family anymore, but you were still my big brother.” Trinity’s voice cracked, and it was like a punch in the heart. My throat closed up, and my chest became a ball of flames.

“That was why I came to Chicago early. I thought if we just had some time together, we could rebuild what we used to have. I hated that you didn’t see me as your little sister anymore. I hated that you just stopped loving me.” “I never stopped loving you, Trin.” “Well, that was how I felt,” she snapped. “And no matter how hard I tried, you kept shutting me down. I was scared, Tobias.” She swiped at another tear with the back of her hand. “I admit what I did was selfish. But can you blame me? You were emotionally detached from us all, and I knew it would only get worse once your dreams came true. And you wouldn’t let me in. Not even after we both moved to Chicago. So, after you moved to LA, I knew I had to do something to try to prove to you that I’ll always be on your side.” She nodded once at the envelope in my hand. “Which is why I hired a private investigator to find your biological father.” Her words sucked all the air from the sky

around us. “What?” “It’s all here.” As I stared at the envelope in my hands, my duffel bag slipped off my shoulder. I swallowed as everything around me started to spin. My mind was yelling for me to burn the contents while my heart banged so loudly it drowned out all reason. I sucked in a breath and flipped open the flap. “Tobias, wait.” Trinity came forward, placing a hand over mine to stop me from reaching inside. Her eyes pinned mine. “You have a choice this time. You don’t have to open it. If you do, you might not like what’s inside.” The way her voice shook gave me pause. Why wouldn’t I want to open it? What could I possibly find that would be worse than all the lies I’d been fed over the years? Worst case, my biological father was dead, just like my biological mom. “Do you know what’s inside?”

She squeezed her eyes shut and nodded. “Yes.” “Will what’s inside hurt me more than not ever knowing?” She nodded again and opened her eyes. “I’m so sorry, Tobias.” I gripped the envelope tighter, a spark of rage lighting my chest and catching fire to the rest of me. With a growl, I moved past my sister, past Amelia, and pushed my way into the house, heading straight for the liquor cabinet. It was going to be a long fucking night.

CHAPTER 51 Amelia The door slammed so hard behind Tobias, its entire frame shook. I faced Trinity again, panic filling my veins. “Wait here, okay?” I squeezed Trinity’s hand. She was shaking, and I knew her breakdown was coming. But I didn’t want her to go. What she’d done was a good, thoughtful thing. Tobias couldn’t yet see that, but he would. A second later, Trinity nodded, and I hurried toward the door before flinging it open and shut behind me. Tobias was on a mission toward his kitchen, and I followed, catching up to him just as he pulled a bottle of whiskey from his cupboard and took off the cap. “No.” I yanked the whiskey bottle from his mouth and slammed it on the island behind

me. “What are you doing?” He still gripped the envelope in one hand, but after my question, he tossed it onto the counter. “I’m doing the only thing I know to do in situations like this.” “In situations like what?” “In situations that tell me that everything I ever knew is going to change, once again.” I tried to calm my breathing as I assessed him the way I had the night he found out his biological mom was dead, but something about this moment was different. I didn’t know if I was angry at him or afraid of what he might do. All I knew was that I wanted to save him from digging himself into his own darkness like he’d always done before. It had never solved anything in the past, and it wouldn’t solve a thing now. “Tobias, you haven’t even opened that envelope.” His nose flared. “Trinity said it would be better not to open it.” Did he even hear what he was saying?

“Trinity also said you and I shouldn’t date. I’m glad you didn’t listen to her.” I took his hands in mine and stepped closer so I could look up into his eyes. “Everything will be okay.” I said the words slowly, believing them with all my heart. “You don’t know that.” His voice cracked, squeezing my chest. “I do.” This time, I was the one who was certain, when it had always been the other way around. “No matter what, at the end of every day, good or bad, it’s you and me, remember?” I reached for the envelope and slid it between us. “Whatever you find in here doesn’t have to change anything.” He blew out a breath and dropped his forehead to mine. “What if it changes everything?” I shook my head. “That’s impossible. What could possibly be worse than what you already know? He could be a drunk, a serial deadbeat, or—” I hinted at the next obvious answer.

His jaw tensed, and I felt his nod. “Or he’s dead.” I swallowed. “Trinity has a point. You don’t have to open anything. For the first time, the choice is yours. Don’t ignore the gift she’s giving you.” His eyes watered while his head shook. “I just want all this secrecy to end. I want to move on with my life. With you. But the secrets, the lies, it’s all we know.” I cupped his chin, running a finger under his eyes to wipe away his pain as I slid the envelope back on the counter. “It won’t always be like this. You have to know that. You’ll find a way through this just like you always have. And this time, I’ll be here every step of the way.” His eyes closed, and I could feel his next deep breath shake through him, as if it were cleansing him of his fears. Then his palm moved to the back of my head, steadying me before pulling me into a fiery kiss that scorched down my spine to my toes. I kissed

him back, meeting his wild blaze with enough ammo to catch the world on fire. I loved Tobias with all my soul. I just hoped it was enough. Two voices broke into our heated moment, the chatter faint but seeming to rise in volume on the other side of Tobias’s front door. I pulled away first. “What is that?” He shook his head, bringing his lips back to mine. “Trinity’s probably on the phone.” But I wasn’t so sure, and I pulled away again and glanced toward the door. There was definitely another voice on the other side of it. The voices grew louder, and Tobias stood straight, his brows bent together as his eyes narrowed toward the front door. “Shit. Otis. I forgot he was coming over.” I could clearly make out Otis’s voice. He and Trinity seemed to be in the midst of some argument. A second later, the door opened, revealing a distraught Trinity behind a panicked Otis. His wide-open, worried eyes gave away too much, catching my heart on its

next beat. “Toby—” Otis’s eyes fell to the envelope in my hands. When they lifted again and settled on Tobias, my insides screamed. “Don’t open that,” Otis said. Then his head fell and shook in obvious defeat. When he looked up, there were so many tells in his eyes—pain, grief, guilt, anger—and I could see his nervous swallowing. “I can explain everything.”

CHAPTER 52 Tobias My father told me when I was younger that if something couldn’t be explained through actions, then the words didn’t matter. My father. The man who had raised me, the man who had taught me how to change my oil and rebuild an engine. The man who taught me that a pile of junk to one man was another man’s gold. The man who hadn’t deserved my stubborn silence after I’d finally learned the truth. I can explain everything, Otis had said. Words he would have never uttered if the truth hadn’t already been in my hands. I was staring at a stranger. A fraud. A liar. A biological match, but a match no more. “You can explain what, Otis?” I felt hot all over, like a pot of boiling water seeping over

the edge. I’d had enough plot twists in my lifetime. I needed stability. Trust. I looked around as I felt the world slip from under my feet again. Then my eyes landed on Amelia. I inhaled and let out a slow breath. Her arms were still wrapped around me, and her grip was strong, like she knew I needed an anchor. Everything will be okay, she’d said. And on my next breath, I believed her. Otis took a step forward. “Whatever you want to know.” I glanced behind him at Trinity, who looked like she didn’t know if she should leave or stay. “Trin, come inside and shut the door.” She moved quickly, but she didn’t come much closer. I whipped my head toward Otis. “Please tell me this is some sick, cruel joke and that you’re not my actual fucking father.” Otis cringed. “I don’t deserve that term. But … biologically, yes. I’m your father.” I swallowed hard in an attempt to push around the thickness that was building in my

throat. “And you’ve known for how long? The entire time you’ve been training me? Since today? When?” “It’s … not that simple. Can we talk alone?” “Whatever you have to say, you can say in front of all of us.” Otis placed his hands on his hips and bowed his head. I didn’t fucking care if I was putting him on the spot. My entire world had been imploding for years, and I was finally getting some answers about why. If it makes him uncomfortable, so be it. A gentle hand landed on my arm. “Tobias,” Amelia said. I looked at her, knowing immediately why I’d been able to stand in one place for so long instead of turning into the Hulk and smashing the room to bits. She was there. Always there. Steadying me in the storm. “Trinity and I can step out while you two talk.” I frowned and shook my head. “No. Stay. You should hear this, too.”

“You two should be alone. We’ll be right outside, okay?” She’d already made up her mind, so I nodded, my jaw clenched and my chest still riding the crest of a new wave as she drifted off. She gestured for Trinity to follow her out back, and they slid the door shut behind them. I was left with Otis, the man I’d once called my mentor. Besides Amelia, he’d been the only other person in this world I’d learned to trust. Of course, he would turn out to be a liar just like the others. Without a word, I moved down the hall to the game room, where I had a lightly stocked bar, but it had what I needed for the occasion. I grabbed two glass tumblers, filled them with whiskey, and set them down in front of two stools. I wouldn’t down the bottle, but I sure as hell was having a drink. Otis had followed me into the room. Neither of us spoke a word. We just sat there, facing the wall on the other side of the bar, sipping our drinks like two strangers.

In that moment, Otis wasn’t my mentor or my landlord from Chicago. He wasn’t my trainer or my confidant in the industry. He was a man who’d made me believe he was something other than what he truly was. A man who hadn’t been man enough to exist in my life except under false pretenses. But I didn’t understand how he’d managed it. It wasn’t he who had approached me to give me a shot in Chicago. It had been Aaron Wells. I would never forget the call I got when I was in Big Sur with Amelia, the one from my sister that told me that Aaron was interested in working with me. Otis didn’t come into my life until months later, after I’d made the decision to move to Chicago. It wasn’t adding up. I slammed my glass down and pushed it away. A fire blazed in my chest, and it had nothing to do with the alcohol. I didn’t need it to feel the world spinning at my feet. “Talk, Otis. Tell me everything and leave nothing out. I’m ready for this bullshit to be

over.” He cleared his throat. “Okay.” He tossed his head back and downed the rest of his drink then set it back on the counter. “You know how I always tell you to keep it clean?” I clenched my jaw. “Is that because you clearly didn’t?” I still couldn’t face him, but in my peripheral, I saw him shake his head. “No, I didn’t. Except for one time, for one woman. In the beginning. When I started playing for the Lions, I was far away from home. Growing up in a small town in Arizona, I wasn’t used to big-city life. It was intimidating, and I had trouble fitting in with the team at first. I was closed off and always looking for a way out of social settings with them. I’d drive around looking for spots that would remind me of home. Comfort. And one night, I found it. A little bed-and-breakfast called Los Olivos, tucked away northwest of Santa Barbara in the Santa Ynez Valley. It was one of those small, historic towns where everyone knew

everyone, but it was most popular for its vineyards. “I became addicted to the place, to the people. To the restaurants and the architecture. And to the shady trees and gardens. I’d visit whenever I had the time, and eventually I started to blend in with the locals. They knew me by name, but they didn’t know who I was. Not that it would have mattered to them. But they didn’t pay attention to sports there, which I loved. I loved stepping outside of my world to belong to theirs.” Otis was painting a picture of such a detailed world, and I could feel the emotion in his voice, but I was waiting impatiently for the part where I came along. What does any of this have to do with me? “There was a woman who worked at the B and B. She was a few years older. Very quiet. Reserved. As much as I went to Los Olivos for the quiet, I hated her silence. I made it a mission to get her to speak, to laugh, anything

to see the glow in her eyes when she’d meet mine. I fell in love before she’d even given me her name. Selena Vazquez.” My chest thundered as I listened to his story, which was the opposite of what I’d expected when he first sat down. Otis had always warned me about women in the NBA world with a sense of regret that made me feel like he’d learned some tough lessons along the way. Never had I expected to hear that he’d fallen in love … with my mother, no less. As eager as I was for him to get to the end of the story, to tell me why I wound up in the hands of the State, I wanted to hear what he was telling me. Wasn’t that what I had been wishing for the past four years? To know the details of my adoption? How my parents met was part of that story. And in some strange, poetic way, knowing that my biological parents had more than a fling … it mattered. “Selena didn’t know I was a ball player. She didn’t know that my time in LA was running out. When she started to get comfortable with

me nearly two years later, I was nearing the end of my contract.” “Two whole years and nothing had happened between you two?” Otis shook his head and laughed. “I was infatuated with the woman. Intimidated as all hell. It was a slow build, getting that one to open up to me, but I guess I was just as bad. With my schedule, I could only make it to the B and B once a month if I was lucky. And when I did, I didn’t want my only sanctuary to be ruined. I didn’t want them to look at me like I was some type of celebrity. If I did, then everything would change. So I hid my life in the NBA like I was in some kind of witness protection program.” I tried to picture it. Two people, the same age that Amelia and I were when we first got together, dancing around their attraction for one another. I didn’t think I could have held back the way he had. Then again, I hadn’t been with anyone else in over three years. “Then how did you know you loved her so

soon?” I couldn’t help focusing on Otis’s demeanor now. People had always commented on how alike we were, but I’d taken that as a compliment since we’d been working together so closely. Never had I imagined that we could be related. A faint smile touched his lips as he stared down into his empty glass. Watching and hearing how he spoke about my birth mother did something to dampen the wildfire my chest had become. “She’d throw me these witty comments when I’d least expect them. Always catching me off guard. And she had this … sense of independence I’d found insanely attractive. When she’d decided to move from Spain to attend college at Santa Barbara College, her family had cut her off completely.” I swallowed. “She went to Santa Barbara College?” He nodded. “She had a passion for numbers that blew my mind. When she wasn’t working at the hotel, I would find her in random

corners of the town, with her head in a book. She had a plan. To finish college, to teach math, to enrich lives.” Otis drew in a shaky breath. “When I got traded to the Knicks, I went to see her one last time to tell her it would be awhile before I would see her again. She didn’t even ask me where I was going. But she came to my room that night and, well, I won’t give you those details, but she made me promise to come back in one year.” “But by then, she was dead.” Otis wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “We’d waited two years already. I didn’t think about everything I would miss when I went away.” “And you still didn’t tell her who you were, what you did?” “She didn’t want to know. She didn’t want to get attached, is what she’d said. But that night we shared—” He swallowed, and I felt my throat close. “She felt everything I did.” Twenty-four years later, and the man

looked as heartbroken as I was when I thought I’d lost Amelia three years ago. Only Otis would never get his second chance. “What happened when you returned to Los Olivos?” “The owner told me about the baby she carried and her death at the time of her baby’s birth. A boy. But the man didn’t know any more than that. I went to the hospital, and they pointed me to the adoption agency in LA. I started the paperwork to establish paternity. During that process, I learned your name, where you were living, who had taken you in. And I couldn’t help but compare their situation to mine. I was a twenty-two-year-old ball player with nothing to offer. I didn’t know how to be a parent. I was always on the road. And here I was, about to take you from your beautiful home with parents who had all the means in the world to support you. “You have to know that to this day, I don’t regret my decision.” His words were a low blow given the news, and I felt them in my gut.

“But,” he continued. “I should have allowed you to find me when you were ready. The adoption agency had kept my name in case you ever requested to find me. But when they reached out, I didn’t respond. Instead, I tracked you down. By then, you’d already dropped out of school and quit ball, but as I looked over your stats, I couldn’t understand why. You were a perfect candidate for the draft. So I reached out to a friend of mine.” Otis’s eyes locked with mine. “Aaron.” Another blow, this one to my chest. “I thought my parents reached out to Aaron.” Otis shook his head. “Your parents met with him in New York, but it was me who initiated the entire thing. And when you didn’t make the draft, I knew the next best option was to get you to Chicago.” Wow. And the mystery was solved. But I wasn’t sure if I felt any better than I had when I was in the dark. “So, now what?” Otis turned in his stool to face me and

clapped a hand on my shoulder. “That is completely up to you, Toby. I’m here for you. Whatever you need. If you need to let me go, I completely understand.” He searched my eyes and pulled in a breath. “I hope you don’t. I hope you can take this information and understand that the world works in mysterious ways, and it’s not always working against you like you think. From where I’m standing, it’s you who’s spinning the earth on its axis, not the other way around.”

CHAPTER 53 Amelia The lights of LA were twinkling under a blanket of clouds and darkness, the perfect setting for such a strange night. An eerie scene, but beautiful, nonetheless. Trinity and I had pulled two chairs out past the pool to the edge of Tobias’s property so we could take in the view. We sat in silence mostly, but at least it was a comfortable one versus the one we’d shared on her front porch. “I didn’t mean to be rude when you walked up to the house tonight.” Trinity’s voice was quiet. “I was already on edge about seeing Tobias. I didn’t think I’d need to deal with our falling-out, too.” I turned to face her. “Why did we have a falling-out? You forgave Tobias. Why not me, too?”

She shrugged. “I was jealous. You had what I wanted. My brother’s time. But even before that, I could feel us moving in different directions. You were going to LA more, and I was focused on school and applying for colleges. I do regret our fight on the beach, though. I think I could have handled that better.” “We should have told you after spring break. He wanted to. I was just desperately trying to hold on to whatever Tobias and I had, but I knew I’d have to give it up eventually. I didn’t want anything to jeopardize our time together.” She nodded, and another moment of silence passed. “So, it’s serious, then?” “Yes. He’s it for me, Trin.” Trinity smiled. “I know this might sound weird after everything that’s gone down, but I’m happy you two were able to work things out. I’m happy Tobias is here and doing what he loves. He clearly cares about you a lot, too. I think everything worked out the way it was

meant to.” My chest fluttered. “That means a lot. What about you?” “I’m really good. Chicago has been great for me. Another year and I’ll have my bachelor’s. And”—her eyes twinkled as they met mine —“I met someone.” Her smile stretched her entire face. “We met at a foster care internship program last year and hit it off.” “I’m so happy for you.” She bit her bottom lip, and I swore I saw a blush creep up her neck. Then she faced me full-on, excitement lighting her eyes. “And I saw you dance tonight. You’re doing exactly what you said you would. That must feel amazing.” I laughed. “You have no idea. Thanks, Trin.” That one exchange was all I needed to know that we might not ever be what we once were, but we would be okay, and that was all that mattered. The sliding glass door opened, causing our

heads to turn toward the sound. Tobias was approaching. We stood, tension rebuilding as we waited to hear what he had to say. I was desperate to know how things had gone with Otis. And what excuse he could have possibly given Tobias for not telling him the truth sooner. “Hey, Trin. Can we talk for a minute?” She nodded, her eyes wide while her head moved eagerly. I moved toward him, rose up on my tiptoes, and kissed his cheek. “I’m going to head to bed.” He squeezed my waist. “Thank you. I won’t be long.” After sliding the patio door closed behind me, I headed into Tobias’s room and started my night routine. Knowing he would be outside for a while, I took my time, wanting to be awake for him when he came into the room.

I’d just crawled under the sheets when he walked in and closed the door behind him. I sat up, and he sat beside me. “Is everything okay?” Stupid question, but he responded with a nod before I could retract it. “Everything will be fine.” He let out a breath. “Thank you for staying.” I leaned in. “Of course. I wouldn’t be anywhere else.” “I told Trinity she could stay in the guest room as long as she needs to. She’s going to come with me to Malibu tomorrow. I want to talk to my parents.” I could feel my heart in my ears. “Okay.” I ran a hand over his chest. “And what about Otis?” “I was so angry with him. And at the world. But you know what?” I scrunched my forehead. “What?” “After he told me the story of how he met my mom, all I could think about was that if it

had worked out between them, and if she hadn’t died while giving birth to me, I would have never met my parents, or Trin, or you.” A tear slipped from his eyes, and his face crumpled. “I don’t know why I never saw it that way before.” I scooted forward again, wrapping my arms around him and holding him tight. He held me back while my hair muffled his sobs. But I could feel them with every shake of his body. “Tobias, your feelings aren’t wrong. You’ve dealt with so many nasty blows over the years. Shocking, life-changing blows. And you’ve handled them all in the best way that you could on your own journey that led you to now. What you’ve been through is so far beyond right and wrong.” “I’m just glad all the secrets are out in the open.” He leaned in, pressing his lips to mine. My heart squeezed as I kissed him back, swallowing my desire to tell him he was wrong

There was actually one more secret. A big one. And I knew I had to be the one who ended it.

CHAPTER 54 Amelia Thirty minutes before the start of practice, I parked in the employee parking lot of the training center and headed straight for the locker room where Zoie’s office was. She was at her desk when I walked in, staring at the scheduling chart that I’d put together for her. This was too important to wait until I was able to make an appointment. “Amie, I wasn’t expecting you so early.” I frowned. “I’m sorry for the impromptu visit, but there’s something I need to talk with you about.” She waved me in and gestured to the seat across from her. “Never apologize for showing up early. I love to see it. In fact, the positive leadership I’ve seen from you hasn’t gone unnoticed. We have a strong team, and you

should be very proud of your role in that.” My heart swelled, and my throat thickened. “Thank you. That means a lot to me. All I ever wanted growing up was to be a part of this team, and the opportunity you’ve given me, the second chance, has been such a blessing. That makes what I’m about to tell you extremely difficult.” Zoie’s smile dimmed slightly, as if she could sense what was coming next. “You’re scaring me, Amie.” I sighed and bowed my head. I’m just glad all the secrets are out in the open. Tobias’s words from last night rang loudly in my ear. Not all the secrets, I’d wanted to tell him. There was still another secret that would haunt us both while we remained with the Lions. I was doing this for him, for me, for us. I was done with the secrets, too. No matter the consequences, I was going to come clean. “Zoie—” I swallowed and sucked in a breath. She lowered her palms to her desk, as if

bracing for whatever news I was about to deliver, and the smile she’d always carried pulled into a frown. “I’m listening.” “It’s—” I squeezed my lids together then opened them again. I hadn’t prepared a speech. I didn’t even know how to explain the history behind the confession that would end the secrets and lies, once and for all. “One of the Lions players and I—” The quick rise of her palm made me pause. “Let me stop you right there.” Zoie leaned forward, her pointed gaze on me. “If this is about your friendship with Toby James, then I am well aware.” I froze, my thoughts swirling as I tried to analyze what she’d just told me. If she had known the extent of our relationship, then I would have been fired by now. “We’ve known each other a long time, but I’d be lying to you if I let you think it was only friendship between us.” “Amie.” Zoie adjusted her posture again, sitting back in her chair and scanning me.

“I’ve known something was going on between you two since the sponsor party back in July. So I dug, and that’s when I found out you two have known each other for quite some time. I wasn’t going to stand in the way of history, but what you’re telling me now is grounds for termination. Do you realize that?” I frowned, my heart heavy. “I do know that, but if you’ve known, then why didn’t you fire me sooner?” Zoie’s face tightened. “To be completely upfront, I didn’t want to lose you. From what I could see, your personal relationship with Mr. James was not affecting your performance or his. If at any point that had changed, then we would have had the conversation. But let me ask you this. Why are you coming to me with this now?” My throat thickened with emotion. “I can’t live with the secrecy anymore. I don’t want anyone to get in trouble. I don’t want it to come to disciplinary action.” I took a deep breath and righted my posture. “If I’m going

to leave again, it needs to be entirely my decision and not because I feel threatened.” “What are you saying?” “I’m here to step down as captain and submit my official resignation with the Lions.”

CHAPTER 55 Tobias “I love you, Mom.” I squeezed her, letting her hold onto me longer than normal as she sniffled into my chest. And then I moved to my dad, feeling my own tears in the back of my throat. “I love you, dad.” He winked and pulled me in, then pat me on the back. “I love you, son. Thanks for the visit, and for talking with your mom and me. Hopefully we can do more of this now that you’re in LA.” I nodded and wrapped an arm around Trinity next. “Definitely. I can bring Amelia.” My parents smiled while Trinity hugged me from the side. “Bye, bro. Thanks for letting me crash last night.” I winked at her. “Any time.” She grinned and waved as I jogged to my truck. It had been an intense twenty-four

hours filled with talking and crying and strong emotions. By the time I was ready to leave Malibu, all the tension I’d been carrying over the years had completely dissipated. After talking with Otis the night before, I realized how unfair I’d been to the people who had taken me in after my mom’s death. To the people who had given me a good home and loved me like I was their own—so much that they didn’t want me or the world to know any different. Their lies somehow felt less deceptive when I looked at it from a whole new perspective. I let out a slow breath. Perspective. It was something Amelia had mentioned, and it had hit me hard. I’d been so shocked by the truth, and so hurt by the lies, that I’d been blinded by all the good intentions surrounding it. I wouldn’t let another minute go by staying mad at my family. And now that everything was out in the open, I couldn’t wait to get back home to Amelia. “I’m home.” I stepped into my foyer and

closed the door behind me. The tantalizing smell of smoke from the grill wafted into the living room through the sliding screen door, but searing sounds came from the stove, turning my head toward the kitchen. Amelia stood there wearing a long gray sweater and white knee-high socks. Her hair was spun up in one of those messy bun things, and nineties soft rock played from the surround sound. When she turned at my approach, an easy smile lit her face. There was a new ease to her expression that matched how I felt inside. Relieved. Unchained. Ready to move forward. “Dinner’s almost ready.” She practically sang the words. “You hungry?” “You didn’t have to do all this.” I wrapped my arms around her middle. As I did, I got a sneak peek at what she was cooking. My mouth watered instantly. Ingredients were scattered all over the counter. Garlic, cinnamon, small corn tortillas, red cabbage, cilantro. “Holy shit, woman. I knew you could

cook, but this seems other-worldly.” She laughed and shook her head. “Hardly. It’s chili-rubbed steak tacos. And I made extra. I kinda figured you’d be hungry after all that driving today.” She didn’t have to say what she really meant. That she knew how mentally and emotionally taxing everything had been recently. And this was her attempt at giving me a carefree night. It was already working. The only thing I cared about now was how many times I would repay the favor with mind-numbing orgasms. “Thank you,” I said before placing a kiss on her cheek. My eyes caught on the sliding screened door, finding the perfect distraction from the bad memory. “You know how to use a grill?” She threw me an amused look, tension removed. “Um, yes. It’s the only way to cook a steak. Mind pouring us some wine? I bought some red at the store today.” She nodded at the end of the counter, and I moved toward it.

As I opened the bottle, I looked into the open living room. The lights had been dimmed, and candles bordered the section around the sitting area. “Shouldn’t I be doing all this for you?” “You do plenty for me, Tobias. It’s my turn to take care of you tonight.” Her eyes lifted to mine, and I felt it—the connection we’d spent years combating—but we didn’t have to do that anymore. At least in the privacy of our own homes. We still had to be careful because of our jobs, but we would get through it. This time, we would do it together. “How did today go?” she asked as she shut off the gas to the stove and started slicing the steak. “It was good.” I set our glasses down and flipped around. “I told my parents about Otis, and they were really supportive. And I realized today how much of my own suffering I could have avoided if I’d only talked to them sooner, instead of holding in all that anger. But it’s all okay, you know? We’re still a

family. And now I know a lot more about where I came from. It was all I had wanted.” Amelia walked over and placed her arms around me. “What about Otis? Do you know what you’re going to do?” I nodded. It was something I’d thought about my entire ride home from Malibu. “I don’t think I’m going to do anything. He’s a good trainer, a good mentor.” I shrugged. “It might just be weird for a while, but I don’t want to let him go.” She pulled herself up on her tiptoes and placed a kiss on my lips. “Hungry?” I leaned in, deepening the kiss while wrapping my arms around her. “Ravenous. But maybe the steak can wait?” I smiled against her mouth while lifting her onto the counter. She placed her hands on my shoulder and pushed, just enough to disengage our mouths. “Uh-uh. I’ve worked too hard on this meal to let it get cold.” I pouted as I stared down at her bare thighs.

“What’s under this thing, anyway?” I glided a finger beneath the fabric and started to slide it up when she slapped my hand away. “Dessert.” She hopped off the counter and pointed an accusing finger at me. “Take our wine into the living room. I’ll be right there.” Chuckling, I picked up the glasses by their stems and headed for the oasis she’d set up for us. We survived dinner, our conversation naturally migrating to our plans after the season and how another visit to Big Sur was a necessity. “This is amazing,” I said as I polished off seconds. “Where did you learn how to cook?” “Life in LA, I guess. Going out all the time gets expensive, so my friends and I were all about dinner nights, pool parties, grilling out. Still are.” She took my empty plate and set it on the coffee table, then she handed me her wine as she curled up in my lap. When I handed her wine back to her, she took a sip and smiled. “I was always trying to one-up the

last dinner someone had cooked.” My lip tipped up at the corner as I thought about my girl’s competitive side. The side that carried the fire in her that I loved so damn much. “I don’t know if I’ll attempt to show you up, but one day, I’ll take you out for that dinner I promised you in Big Sur.” Something changed in her expression as the playful fire died down. “Maybe we can have that dinner out a little sooner than you think.” I didn’t think I heard her right, so I stared at her lips, waiting for her to elaborate. “There’s something I need to tell you.” My eyes squeezed shut as heat crawled up my chest. “Amelia—” “Please don’t freak out. It’s the best thing for both of us, and not even just us but for my team, too.” I was stumbling on my thoughts as I tried to comprehend what she was telling me. “Did you get fired?” “No, nothing like that.” “Then what happened?”

She took a sip of wine then set hers on the end table behind her. I followed suit, knowing I would need all my focus on her. “I went to Zoie today, and I told her how much I appreciated the opportunities she’d given me, but that I hadn’t been completely honest with her. She already knew about us, and she wasn’t going to do anything about it unless it caused issues.” My heart dropped in my chest, landing with a thud. “What? And you quit, anyway?” She nodded. “No. Amelia, why?” She sighed and scooted up in my lap to face me straight on. “Because I wanted to remove the final roadblock still standing in our way. Now, there’s nothing.” She searched my eyes. “If there’s anything I’ve learned lately, it’s that secrets only leave destruction behind. I don’t want that for us. I don’t want us to get to a point where someone else gets hurt because of our lies. So, I ended it.” Devastation threaded through my veins.

“You also ended your career. I would have never wanted that for you.” She tilted her head, a smile growing on her lips. “Tobias, dance is my career. That’s not something the NBA can take away from me. I learned that the first time around after I’d thought my life was over. It wasn’t. Instead, I realized my dreams were so much bigger than dancing center court. Don’t get me wrong, that was pretty fucking cool, but it’s not all I want to do with my life.” My eyes felt heavy as I concentrated on her words. “But you tried out a second time. Clearly, you wanted the opportunity.” She nodded. “I did. I wanted the opportunity to put a stop to the injustice I experienced as a dancer under Coach Sparks’s leadership. Everything that came after getting that second chance was a bonus. Besides, I’m not going to stop working with the team.” Okay, now I was really confused. “You’re not? But you just said—” She laughed and placed her lips to my ear,

sending a signal to my cock. “I told you not to freak out. You should listen to me.” I brushed a thumb over her thighs, just below her sweater, as I turned my head slightly and my eyes narrowed on her. “I listened when you told me there’s dessert waiting for me under this sexy dress thing.” She placed a hand over mine, stopping my journey back up her leg. “Patience, Tobias. I haven’t even finished my story.” I cleared my throat. “You’re right. So, you didn’t get fired, and you didn’t quit?” She shook her head. “I made her an offer.” Her smile had my pulse racing a mile a minute. “I offered to be her assistant coach on an entirely volunteer basis. That way I can still work with the team, but the no-fraternization policy no longer applies. Zoie still needs to make it official, but she doesn’t think it will be a problem.” “But you won’t get to dance?” She shook her head. “No, but that’s okay.” Her eyes searched mine again.

I blinked once, my eyes wide when they opened again. “So—” She grinned. “So, we’re free to date. In the open, like a real couple. If you want to.” I think I growled at her last statement, but I wasn’t sure, because my mouth was already on hers. She tasted like fine wine and cilantro as I parted her lips. “I think it’s time you show me what’s for dessert.” She laughed, our lips still fused together. Then I felt her fumble with her sweater as my finger traveled up her bare leg until I was crossing her hip bone and moving up her smooth stomach. When she tore her mouth from mine, I opened my eyes and let them fall to her breasts. I’d expected her to reveal them beneath the soft cloth she’d teased me with all night, but that wasn’t what I found. No, it was something much fucking hotter. She was wearing a Lions tank top from our video chat three years ago that revealed her midsection and what she’d once affectionately called

underboob. I swept a finger along the crease. Her skin had lightened some since summer, but she still had a natural bronze tint to her skin that reminded me of our days on the beach. I loved her body—especially the things she used to hate. I loved the deep dip in her waist, her generous breasts, and the way her hips rounded out above her athletic thighs. She was strength and beauty just as God had intended, and I loved every single inch. She reached for the hem of my shirt and helped it over my head. But when her fingers moved to unbutton my pants, I let my head fall back against the couch so I could watch her. I’d always stripped her first, always eager to hear her sweet moan of pleasure penetrate the air. But not tonight. Tonight, I would let Amelia lead. “Tell me more about this dessert.” “How about I just show you?” She smirked and gripped the waist of my jeans and tugged, so I lifted my ass and let her pull them down. I was so hard as I watched

Amelia gaze down at me while wetting her lips. Like she wanted a taste, and if she liked the flavor, she would lick the whole thing clean. “You look at me like I’m an ice cream cone.” She lowered her head and opened her mouth as she held me firmly in one hand. “Will it melt if I don’t start licking?” “It migh—oh.” My eyes felt heavy with desire as her tongue stroked me, her mouth so close to wrapping around my cock. “Fu-ck,” I rasped. And then her hot mouth was on me, circling my crown with her tongue, and then easing me down her throat. I loved this woman, but I lusted for her too. Sweet eyes met mine as she worked me, her lips firm as they continued to slide around me. She was goddess and temptress, and I never knew who would come out to play next. Tonight, she was both. When she pulled away, my cock throbbed from the loss of her, so I comforted it with my grip as she stood. Her fingers moved beneath

her briefs, and she stretched the fabric around her, teasing me yet again until she slipped her underwear down, leaving her bare and only inches from rescuing me from this ache between my legs. “C’mere.” I reached a hand out for her. Her knees dipped into the couch around me, and she inched up to where we aligned. My fingers floated up her stomach, drawing an invisible path to her breast. She took in a deep breath, and when she exhaled, she sank down around me. I lifted the fabric of her top, just an inch, to pull her nipple into my mouth. It was dark brown and hard for me. I tortured it the way she tortured my cock with her mouth, with long, slow pulls and a swirl before I sucked, eliciting another moan from her pretty mouth. God, she was beautiful. She moved, her soft panting toxic as it seeped through my pores. I was spellbound, addicted, and in way too deep to ever dream of getting out alive. When I felt her start to squeeze around me, I

steadied her rhythm with my hands on her waist and thrust deeper each time we met. She started to unravel first. I could feel it, the tension strangling me before she high-pitched her release and took me along for the ride. “Remind me,” I said around my postcoital breaths. “What happens when two people ignore all the rules and all the obstacles the world throws at them and finally end up together?” Amelia smiled. “I believe they call that defying gravity.”

EPILOGUE Amelia Six Months Later I awoke to Tobias’s thick fingers sliding between my legs, his hot breath on my nipple, and his erection pressed into my leg. My pulse quickened in time with his movements as my body grew warm beneath his spell. “Morning,” he rasped against my breast. I smiled and moaned as he pinched me between his teeth, triggering that fine line that danced between pleasure and pain. Early morning sun poured through the open flaps of our boutique tent as birds chirped happily in the distance. A light breeze rustled nearby trees and the loose cotton fabric that sheltered us from high winds the night before. Waves of the Pacific crashed against the rocky shore a few hundred feet below us. And the signature blend of salty air and sweet blue

blossoms lit my senses in the best possible way. What was once just an empty plot of land in the mountains of Big Sur, was now a place we called home. Fitted with a sixteen-foot-tall bell-shaped tent elevated with a deck platform, a king bed, a wood burning stove, and a semi-outdoor washroom—we had everything we could possibly need to maximize our time in the place where it all began. I let out a happy sigh as Tobias removed his fingers and moved up my body, sliding his length to where I was warm and ready. “You sure know how to wake a girl up.” He chuckled and brushed his lips against mine while my nails ran down his arms. “I think you should wake me up like this more often.” His mouth moved to my neck as he nodded. “That can be arranged, Birthday Girl.” For the second time since we’d known each other, we were spending my actual birthday together. Complete with a night filled with

star-gazing through the clear plastic roof of our tent, and a whole lot of time spent in our new bed, it was all a luxury we could only relish for another few hours since we had to get back to LA. My birthday wasn’t the only thing we were celebrating, though. The Lions had made it to the playoffs, and I had officially accepted a position as the new assistant coach to Zoie for the Lions dance team. For the first time in my life, I was living the best of all worlds, and I would never take my blessings for granted— not after going through Hell and back to get here. Tobias hooked an arm around my leg, pressing it into the mattress on my side. “How about I wake you up just like this?” He pushed inside me, filling me like he was made for me. “Every morning for the rest of our lives.” He kissed my lips, his tongue sweeping inside my mouth while he sighed with pleasure. I would never get enough of this man. Not when he knew how to kiss me like

he owned my heart and soul. It had only been six months since we’d gone public as a couple, but each day had only solidified our connection. He pushed his hips into me one final time, joining me in my bliss. When he leaned in to kiss me again, he groaned. “We should shower. We only have a few hours until the helicopter gets here.” I couldn’t help but smile. Did he even hear himself speak? Life with Tobias had been something straight from a dream. And it wasn’t the helicopter rides or fancy dinners that kept me on top of the clouds. It was the fact that for the first time in a long time I wasn’t shackled with secrets. I wasn’t held prisoner in a jail built from my own insecurities. I was free. Free to love, free to dance, free to be exactly who I was meant to be. He rolled off the bed, standing in a sunlit section of the deck in all his naked glory. “You can hop in first.” He reached for his phone

that had ended up on the couch last night. “I need to call my parents back.” I shuffled off to the shower, my heart swelling at how Tobias’s relationship with his family had slowly reshaped into something beautiful. There was forgiveness and love, and family dinners where I was welcomed. It was like I was part of the family again, the way I’d been when Trinity and I were close. And while Tobias had agreed to keep Otis as his trainer and manager, they had a long way to get back to the way things used to be between them. Maybe it would never be exactly the same, but their bond was still an unmistakable one. They would be just fine. I was starting to think that Tobias and I had created the perfect orbit. Science would frown upon that. Perfection could never exist among nature’s uncertainties. But if anyone could prove science wrong—it was us. After dressing into a pair of black shorts, a lace bralette, and a cropped, light gray sweater, I swapped places with Tobias. We

passed each other with a smile and a chaste kiss, one that promised more to come. I took my time as the shower ran and paired the speaker to my phone. Then I thumbed through my playlist for the perfect song to dance my mood to. Finally, I grinned and pushed play before turning the volume up. There was just enough space for me to move across the deck floor between the end of the bed and the opening of the tent. Just as Tobias had planned it. He had figured that if there was going to be a basketball court outside, then I needed a space to dance. He’d even propped a giant mirror against the corner walls so I could see myself like I did at the studio. The song was set on repeat, and I gave into the music, forgetting about everything else around me. I focused on the way my body absorbed the music like it was part of me. I let it turn me, roll through me, pick me up in an arabesque, and support me in a Tendu. And I kept moving, even when the running water in

the background stopped and I could feel Tobias’s eyes on me.

Like every other time after he watched me dance, my eyes searched for his across the room. He never stepped too close to the dance floor, and I always joked with him that one day I would get him to join me. I didn’t expect that day to be today. He’d crossed the space and was now standing in front of me, his hands out in a gesture for me to take them. His smile was contagious as I let him twirl me and then pull my body to his. “How’s this for our first dance?” Nothing could wipe the grin from my face as he swayed me. “It’s perfect.” He spun me again, and then again, until I was laughing so hard that my eyes closed just as he released me. “Keep your eyes closed,”

he whispered against my ear. I could hear his footsteps as he walked away. The sound of the cooler door opening, and closing came next. And then he was heading back toward me. “Okay, you can open your eyes.” He wasn’t there when I flipped my lids open. Not where he was when I’d closed them, anyway. He was kneeling, his head tilted up, his eyes wide, and he was pulling his left arm from behind his back. I swallowed, my heart thundering so loudly in my chest that I could feel it in my throat. Tears pricked my eyes when I took in the cupcake. There was a pillow of seafoam green frosting with a glittering diamond ring placed on top. “Amelia,” he started. Oh my God. My hand shook as I covered my mouth. “I don’t want to wait another season to make it one hundred percent clear what you mean to me. I’ve always called you my rock,

and well—” he said with a playful smirk. “I would be the happiest man in the world if you wore mine.” A smile stretched across my face as he pulled the ring from the cupcake, green frosting still smeared over the band. He held the piece of glittering metal between two fingers, his gaze shining back at mine. “Amelia Clark, will you marry me and let me kiss you forever?” My eyes watered and my throat tightened with emotion. And then I nodded. It was the most certain nod I’d ever given. “Yes,” I said on a laughing cry. He wiped the ring on his shirt, removing the frosting, and then took my hand and pulled me forward. As he eased the platinum band onto my finger, I exhaled my shock. “I didn’t know what you’d like, and I wanted this to be a surprise.” He ran a slow circle around the diamond that shook with my hand. “It’s round.” His eyes met mine. “Like the moon.”

The first tear slipped from my eye as I tried to hold it together. “I love it, Tobias. It’s better than anything I would have picked myself.” It was true. The ring was a perfect fit. Just like we were together. We were just Amelia and Tobias. Moon and Earth, living among the stars and sun. We were everything. And no matter the hardships we’d face along the way, we would always make sense together. He stood and wrapped his arms around mine while molding our mouths together in a passionate kiss, one that told me what we’d been through was only the beginning to a beautiful life we would lead together. Forever. When he pulled away, we were both smiling like idiots and clinging onto each other. “One more thing,” he said with a wink. He pulled a lighter and a candle from his pocket, placed the candle on top of the cupcake where the ring once was, and then lit it. “Make a wish, Birthday Girl.” I shook my head and smiled through my

tears. “I can’t.” My heart felt like it was seconds away from bursting as he gazed back at me with love in his eyes. “You’ve already made all of my wishes come true.”

*** I hope you enjoyed Defying Gravity. You can check out Amelia and Tobias’s spring fling story in Falling from Gravity for FREE now! Get it HERE AND you can check out Lex and Theo’s story in Center of Gravity (Available in Kindle Unlimited) Get it HERE Keep reading for the first chapter of K.K. Allen’s small-town romantic suspense, Waterfall Effect (available in Kindle Unlimited HERE)

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K.K. Allen is an award-winning USA Today Bestselling author and Interdisciplinary Arts and Sciences graduate from the University of Washington who writes Contemporary Romance and Fantasy stories about “Capturing the Edge of Romance.” K.K. currently resides in central Florida, works full time as a Digital Producer for a leading online educational institution, and is the mother to a ridiculously handsome little dude who owns her heart. K.K.’s multi-genre publishing journey began in June 2014 with the YA Contemporary Fantasy trilogy, The Summer Solstice. In 2016, K.K. published her first Contemporary Romance, Up in the Treehouse, which went onto win RT Book Reviews’ 2016 Reviewers’

Choice Award for Best New Adult Book of the Year. With K.K.’s love for inspirational and coming of age stories involving heartfelt narratives and honest characters, you can be assured to always be surprised by what K.K. releases next. More works in progress will be announced soon. Stay tuned for more by connecting with K.K. in all the social media spaces.

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PROLOGUE Aurora, 18 Years Old He enters the courtroom with his head down and feet shuffling, the shackles on his wrists and ankles providing minimal room for movement. His wiry body swims in his khaki slacks and blue button down top, appearing far too conservative to be a threat. Untamed salt and pepper hair frames his downturned head and emotionless face, and exhaustion is evident in his forehead creases and the pillows beneath his half-closed lids. There’s a tremor in my chest I don’t quite understand. A medley of nerves,

confusion, and sorrow. My life has become a circus of law enforcement, nosey media, and probing doctor visits since awakening from a coma nearly one year ago. And it’s all supposed to end today. At least, that’s what my aunt Cyndi tells me. A frenzied whisper snakes through the crowd, drawing my eyes to the man the public has branded a monster. A monster with a mental disorder who has been labeled a threat to society—and to me. Seven disappearances. Seven girls. Three years. The only tie between us, eerie carvings of our initials found on trees scattered around the woods near where each of us disappeared. Beside

each one, a checkmark and a tally where he numbered his victims like we were trophies. Ice fills my veins as it does every time I think of what could have been. They say I was Henry June’s seventh and last victim. The only one of us found alive. Somehow, I escaped the same fate as the others. Though the whereabouts of their bodies and the details of what happened remain a mystery. My eyes steady on the man who slows his awkward gait to my left. My skin explodes with goosebumps. My chest fills to the brim with a panic I’m mostly able to suppress—thanks to my medication—but I’m not immune. Especially not when faced with an

accused murderer. I’m seated directly behind the plaintiff’s table, between my aunt Cyndi and my best friend, Scott— only a few feet from the man who should riddle me with hurt and rage. I’m too confused to pinpoint my reactions—the way my eyes bulge at the sight of him, the way my fingers sweep my bare-skinned knees like the flick of a brush, the way my chest feels heavy with fire while my veins still pump ice. None of it makes sense. Chains rattle as the guard shakes the man’s arm to move him forward. The man resists, his whiskered chin tilting toward me as if he senses his prey, but his eyes remain fixed on the floor. Does he feel my presence? Because I’m more

than certain that I would be able to feel his. I adjust my posture in an aim for comfort, but the effort is useless under the circumstances. The man’s eyes snap to mine. A hush falls over the room as he leans toward me, his stare dark and empty as a vibration takes over his body. It’s like he’s looking right through me. Would he hear me if I spoke? I move to stand, to face him, to ask him if what the others say is true. Aunt Cyndi holds out her arm to stop me. I wish she wouldn’t. I need to know. Because if it is true—how could he be so cold, so heartless? Schizophrenic delusions aside, the reality is that after over six months of

court hearings, the evidence presented in the case of the other six victims has only made his guilt more unclear than ever. “You were dead.” It’s just a gravelly whisper, sandpaper to my heart. “I saw you. I—I held your limp body in my hands.” He peers down at his shackled hands and shakes them hard. “You bled for your sins. You should be dead,” he hisses, then squeezes his lids together. His head whips left and right, as if trying to wake from a nightmare. When his eyes fly open again, they land on mine with conviction. “You’re not real. You’re not real. You’re not real.” He whispers these words on repeat like they calm him.

Emotion crushes my throat as an unspoken plea fills my mind. Please make it stop, I want to scream. Just let the nightmare end. “Let’s go, June. Straight ahead.” The corrections officer’s boom echoes through the room as he continues to wrestle with the man in chains, gripping his arm and tugging him forward. The prisoner gives in, but he keeps his bloodshot eyes locked on me from over his shoulder as he’s dragged away. No more words come, but he finally rips his eyes from mine as if the sight of me pains him. Maybe it does. Maybe he knows what he did. Maybe somewhere in that disturbed brain of his lies a man

with compassion. There’s a shuffle of feet as everyone settles into their seats again, somber, ready for the judge to read the final verdict. They may not have found enough evidence to try the man for murdering the other victims, but they have me, my blood on his hands the day I was found, and a convincing testimony from someone I allowed too close to my heart. The circumstantial evidence is enough to convict a person for decades, but not for life. However, with the rumor of a plea deal on the table, who knows what will happen today. Not even I am privy to such information. Aunt Cyndi’s dainty arm snakes

around my stiff shoulders, yanking me from my thoughts and pulling me close. “Are you okay?” Her whispered tone soothes me some. I know I’m not alone. Neither she nor Scott would ever let me go through something like this without a shoulder to lean on. I don’t respond to her yet. I’m not sure how to. Of course I am not okay. Nothing about this situation is or ever will be okay. “He’s sick, Aurora.” She takes a shaky breath, still doing her best to stay calm, but I detect anger there, too. “His voices will never hurt you again,” she says. “He’s crazy. He’s a monster,” is what she means.

When I return her statement with a blank stare and silence, she gives my shoulders another squeeze. She understands well enough; no amount of comforting words or warm hugs can right the wrongs that led us all here. They say that under the influence of alcohol, the danger of the man on trial grows, as it did the night of November twenty-sixth. The night I went missing, only to be found three days later in my father’s arms, bruised, disoriented, and on the brink of death. Because the man on trial—my father —tried to kill me. What’s worse? I don’t remember any of it.

Not guilty by reason of insanity. The verdict rings in my ears long after security has forced everyone out of the courtroom. Except for me. They let me stay, my body frozen, as the doors close. I just need a minute to myself. Eerie quiet settles in the air, bringing a sense of calm to the chaos I’ve felt since that day I awoke with tubes in odd parts of me and a mind as blank as the day I was born. Aunt Cyndi and Scott started to fill in some of the gaps, but with every kernel of knowledge they bestowed came a dozen more questions. Every day was a challenge, both mentally and physically. The more I

remembered, the more painful it became to grasp. I didn’t want those memories. I didn’t want the pain that came with it. I’d already lived through the death of my mother, my father’s downward spiral, and the heartbreak that comes with first love. And with my memory returning in chunks at a time, I was having to relive each heartwrenching event of my life all over again. Still, after all that time, three days of darkness remain, blotting out my memory like an eclipse frozen at totality. It all led to this: my father’s arrest, the trial, a sudden change in plea, and now the verdict that will be forever

etched in history via public records, newspapers, and even an upcoming made-for-TV movie. I don’t think I ever wanted to be famous, but if I had, this would not be the way I’d envision it happening. With medical testimony that confirmed my father’s diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenia, his crimes were explained away by mental illness—but there’s no sidestepping his guilt, no matter what he pleaded in the end. It was still my blood he wore on his hands. It was still my body he rocked in a state of shock and denial. And now, my father goes to a mental health facility. Ten years for first degree felonious restraint and committing bodily harm

with the intent to kill. It’s over. The last nine months have been hell. Doctors, police, investigators, psychologists, lawyers, reporters. In an endless frenzy to collect evidence and witness testimonies, I’ve lost almost one year of my life. And while all I’ve wanted is for it to end, this isn’t the feeling I expected to have. This isn’t closure. This is a loss more tragic than death. In the past year, I’ve lost everything. My parents, my home, my — The clang of the heavy courtroom door disrupts my thoughts. Loud chatter from activity in the halls fades in, then out as the door closes. I turn to the door,

expecting to see a security guard, Scott, Aunt Cyndi…anyone but him. Jaxon Mills. Just the sight of him causes a mixture of love and devastation to swarm my chest, latch onto my ribs, and beg for entry. The last time we were left in a room alone together, I told him to leave. I pushed him away. And while it hurt more than I could have ever imagined, it crushed me when he did as I said. But what else could either of us do? His crisp, black button-down shirt makes him look like a fraud. Even with the sleeves rolled up to hug his forearms and the deep creases where it was once tucked into his gray dress pants, he looks and feels like a stranger to me

now. The freckles on his creamy cheeks are gone, leaving only a sprinkling of light brown dots on his nose. His coppery brown hair is longer than when I last saw him, his wild curls dipping below his thick brows and reaching a good two inches past his ears. His normally confident smirk is conspicuously absent. And the fire that’s always burned from within him is nowhere to be found. He looks just as lost as I feel. My gaze travels up to meet his signature stormy eyes. They’re like lightning the way they fill me with the brightest light and zap me with their intensity, making me feel like I’m full of life and dying all at once. And all I

can do is absorb every single second of it. It’s funny how our memories latch onto the comfort of an embrace, the warmth of a smile, the tingling of affection when we find love. Those feelings are hard to part with, even when they no longer belong to us. I exit the row and meet him in the aisle, stopping a few yards away. Any closer and this conversation will be harder than it already is. I tilt my chin downward, my thick, coffee brown hair swinging over my narrow shoulders. What’s left to say? I knew Jaxon would come today. He was the first person I looked for when the Balsam Grove crowd arrived. It

took me only a second to spot him sitting among the angry mob beside his parents. Just one glance was enough to undo me. How can two people so deeply in love fall apart so quickly? My stomach churns acid at the thought of how far we’ve grown from each other over the past year. He shuffles his feet, showing me he’s nervous, too. Why did he come? Was his intention the same as the others’? To get gratification from the final verdict? To celebrate the conviction of the Balsam Grove Monster? Was the drop of the gavel enough to bring the nightmare to a close for the town? Probably. But me? I’ve lost everything.

I look up. “You shouldn’t be here,” I say, my voice shaking with anger. “Neither should you.” His retort is quick, steaming with the same frustration from our last conversation. In the past nine months, I’ve only seen or heard from him a few times. First, on the phone after leaving the hospital when I was too weak to avoid him but too hurt to hear him out. Then at Aunt Cyndi’s when he showed up months later, uninvited, to warn me he was going to testify against my father in court. And finally, one month ago, when he sat in front of the courtroom and divulged information about my father’s character, situations he’d witnessed, and private conversations he’d had with

me—thoughts and fears I was ashamed to have, let alone have made public. And each time we spoke, he pleaded his case for why I belong in Balsam Grove despite the horrific events I was a part of. Maybe he can ignore the reasons I left, but I can’t. Even if I wasn’t furious at Jaxon for his betrayal, I would have never gone back to that town. Not with my father’s alleged crimes hanging over me like a dark cloud. Not with the harsh whispers of my peers and neighbors nipping at my back. And on top of it all, Jaxon and I weren’t on the best of terms when it all went down. Sighing, he dips his fingers into his pockets and looks at his shoes, a lock of

wavy hair shielding his eyes. “I didn’t come here to argue.” His voice has softened, but somehow the pain in his tone has grown louder. “I’m sorry— about your father. I really am, Auror—” A bubble of disbelief escapes my throat as tears threaten to follow. “You always hated my father. Don’t give me your sympathy, Jaxon. Not now.” His eyes snap to mine. “Then what do I give you? I won’t lie to you. I’ve never told you lies, and I won’t start now. Yes, I may have had trouble understanding your father’s…actions at times, but I never hated him. He’s your dad, Aurora. And that means something to me. But I wasn’t going to stand by after what happened without saying a word.

Whether he was responsible for his actions or not, you almost died. The man needs help, and now he’s going to get it.” I lower my eyes. “It doesn’t matter anymore.” “It will always matter.” His words come out choked, and he takes a step forward like he wants to comfort me. But something stops him in his tracks as if he senses I’m not ready for his embrace. That his touch would be anything but comfort. He deflates a bit. “There’s so much to say, but now isn’t the time. Come home, Aurora. You belong in Balsam Grove. With me.” A sting hits the back of my eyes at the mention of my old home. Does he really

think I could just go back to a town filled with rage and live a happy, normal life? Typical Jaxon. Ignoring the issues for the sake of moving on. Meanwhile, the issues never go away. They chip away at us, piece by piece, until we’re finally forced to confront them. By then, it’s too late. It’s too late now. There’s too much damage. Too much left unresolved. Too much history tainted by what my father did. And Jaxon testifying in court only adds insult to injury. Grief for all the above swells within me, like a humidity weighing me down until my breaths are pure vapor, and all that I need to overcome thickens into a dark sea of loss.

I won’t fight the current. Not anymore. I take a stuttered breath and regain my composure to speak again. To close this door once and for all. To remind him why this could never work. “I think you’re forgetting the reason I ran into the storm that night in the first place.” That was a low blow, I know, but he’s the one who stepped into this courtroom while the wounds of my father’s conviction were still fresh. He might as well have stepped into a warzone. “That’s not fair,” he growls, his expression twisting with shock. My chest flames with determination. I feel like I’ve just found my enemy’s weakness in the boxing ring. I don’t

believe in violence, and I’m sickened with myself for sharpening my words as if they’re weapons, but this is just as much about protecting Jaxon as it is about protecting myself. “Not fair? Let me tell you what’s not fair, Jaxon. You keeping secrets from me. You making decisions that affect the both of us, alone. You giving up everything you’ve been working so hard for, just to wait around for me when your life could be so much better than that.” His face twists in disagreement. “How can you be upset at me for wanting to wait for you to finish school?” I ignore him, not wanting to admit that there are still parts of that night

before my abduction that feel fuzzy. I remember showing up at his house in a rage. I remember our fight. I just can’t remember what prompted it. How had I found out about his decision to give up his dreams? And why couldn’t I listen to his side of things? Instead of sorting through it all, I ignore his question. “You want me to come back to Balsam Grove? You don’t even want to be there. Why are you still there, Jaxon?” “I’m there for you. I’ve stayed for you.” “I never asked you to.” I know immediately this was the wrong thing to say. I can see it in his

pinking cheeks, in the rough fingers that push through his hair and grab the back of his neck as he struggles to find his words. “You didn’t. You’re right. You would never ask me to stay, which is exactly why I made the decision without you. You’re so damn strong, Aurora, and so incredibly selfless. But I would have never regretted my decision.” His words are a chain wrapped around my heart, and every pleading, softspoken syllable feels like he’s tugging and tugging, as if force will eventually make me learn to follow him on my own. “You don’t know that.”

“I do. You’re my life.” His voice cracks as he takes another step, but he stops just as fast, assessing my reaction. When I don’t protest, he closes the distance and takes my face in his palms. I let him touch me. My conflicted heart wants him to touch me. But what I want doesn’t change the facts, especially the most painful one of all—that Jaxon is part of the reason my father was convicted of crimes too horrifying to believe. “Come home.” It’s a passionate, desperate request that first fills my heart, then breaks it into a million pieces. My knees weaken, and it would be easy to fall to the floor. I can’t take

this anymore. Nothing feels right. No matter what I choose, it will be wrong. “I don’t have a home,” I remind him, my voice thick with emotion. Jaxon’s face crumbles as he leans his forehead against mine. His skin is soft and warm. “Your home is with me. Anywhere you want it to be. We don’t have to go back. We can go anywhere. We can change our names if you want. Disappear forever. You’re eighteen now. There’s nothing tying you down.” God, how I wish he wouldn’t feed me such tempting offers. To disappear. To be someone else. To be with Jaxon. It all sounds too good to be true, which means it probably is.

I shake my head and focus on the reality we’re standing in. My eyes catch on the defendant’s desk where my father stood not thirty minutes ago. “What about my father? He’ll be alone. I’ll need to visit him—” Jaxon releases me and pushes himself up to full height, a deeper shade of red taking over his expression. “Jesus, you’re still doing it. You’re still protecting him.” “He’s my father!” Jaxon steps back, an incredulous look on his face. “The man took a plea deal today in admission to abducting you. You were there. I watched you when they announced his sentence. Who the

hell cares what his mental state is. How can you want to be anywhere near him after that?” Wrapping my arms around my waist as if the pressure could hold in the ache, I shiver. “He didn’t admit to taking those girls.” Jaxon’s face falls. “You can’t be serious. How is it obvious to everyone but you?” “If it were obvious, then there would have been enough evidence to convict him. I shake my head hard, forcing a swallow over the lump in my throat. “I can’t accept that he did it. I can’t even bear to think it.” I blink back tears, my eyes hot and stinging. “And if you still do…” I shake my head, unable to finish

my sentence, but I don’t have to. One thing I know for certain about Jaxon Mills; he knows me better than anyone. “So, now what?” he says on an exhale. “You can’t hold on to your father’s innocence forever. You’ll never move forward if you do. What will it take, Aurora?” One year ago, we could barely keep our hands off each other. We’d overcome the distance and time that had kept us apart for two years before finally getting our chance. We surpassed the awkwardness of our first summer together—the summer I was much too young for him but much too in love to care. After that, every moment was as precious as the last grain of an

hourglass. As if we knew our time was running out. Our time has run out. The door opens behind Jaxon, revealing the concerned face of Scott, my best friend from childhood, from when I led a happy, normal life in Durham, North Carolina. His eyes flick between the two of us. Jealousy has festered between them for years, but Scott has only ever been a friend in my heart. “You okay, Aurora?” “Of course she’s not okay,” Jaxon snaps. I shoot him a warning glance, then turn to Scott, my face softening. “I’m coming. I just need another minute.”

Scott’s worried glance drifts between me and Jaxon, his lean frame blocking the view of the hallway behind him. His freshly cut, sandy blond hair is perfectly styled atop his head, a complete contrast to Jaxon’s tanned and rugged appearance. “Okay.” He hesitates for another second before sighing, then stepping out and shutting the door behind him. “You’re not seriously going to leave with that guy. I thought—” Jaxon looks genuinely confused right now, and so damn hurt. Part of me wants to fix it. I’ve only ever wanted to fix everyone. But clearly, I’m the worst person for that job. “You thought what, Jax? That my

father would be convicted and everything would go back to the way it was before? You think Sheriff Brooks will allow me to step one foot back into that town without a challenge?” I scoff. “Even my father’s best friend thinks he’s a monster.” I shake my head, trying to rid the memory of the town’s angry eyes watching me as I entered the courtroom earlier today. “This isn’t about the town. This is about you and me.” I cringe, knowing this conversation will only take us in the same circles, and neither of us is ready to end the loop. I charge toward the door, but I have to pass Jaxon to get there. As I do, he wraps an arm around my waist and

pulls me in, his hot breath heavy with desperation against my ear. “Don’t go.” I crumble instantly, his arms my only chance of standing. I’ve missed his hold and his sweet, whispered words that ignite a heat between us no extinguisher could ever dissipate. “We need more time to figure this out.” My eyes flutter closed, relishing in his embrace one last time. How easy it could be to fall victim to our love once more, forever. But I can’t. “Let me go, Jax.” He does, and the move is so quick, my lungs deflate with the loss of him. Jaxon has always been the wild rush of the creek barreling by, a force

powerful enough to alter even the sturdiest of landscapes, and he halted me with his eyes. Icy gray orbs with a stormy finish. And I wanted to fall. To let his rapids carry me and take me over the edge. I wanted to live in his waterfall. Not drown in his cascade. Stale air whirls amid a buzz of the fluorescent lights as we hold our gaze and cling to this moment, prolonging our goodbye. That’s what this is, isn’t it? If we can’t be together…if I can’t return to Balsam Grove…if I can’t forgive him. Goodbye is the only way forward. Keep reading Waterfall Effect HERE