Fixing Fate - Anna Brooks

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FIXING FATE A Pleasant Valley Novel

ANNA BROOKS

Copyright © 2017 Anna Brooks

Published by Anna Brooks

Cover design by Cover to Cover Designs

Editing by Editing4Indies

Formatting by Champagne Formats

Proofreading by Vivid Words Editing

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book, or portions thereof, in any form without written permission except for the use of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

The author acknowledges the trademark status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owner.

Table of Contents Title Page Copyright Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24 Chapter 25 Chapter 26 Epilogue Other Books by Anna Brooks Acknowledgments About the Author Previews

Chapter 1 Mellie

I should turn around right now. Go back to my nice, cozy apartment in the city where I can cuddle with my cat. Continue living my routine, normal, safe existence. But no, my conscience has me staying rooted. The run-down house in front of me is now my responsibility. Somehow. My phone vibrates in the back pocket of my skinny jeans, so I pull it out and answer without looking because I already know who it is. Less than a handful of people have my number. “I’m here.” “You were supposed to let me know you got there okay.” I sigh at my older brother’s irritated tone. “Jay, I literally just got out of my car.” He doesn’t apologize for being overbearing; he never has, and he never will. “How does it look?” I take in the chipping blue paint, the missing porch rails, and the cracked windows. I can barely see the bottom of the house because the weeds are so overgrown. “Worse than I thought.” “Damn. Are you sure you—” “I’m not a child, Jay.” As much as I love him for looking out for me, I told him I’m ready to move on with my life. I hate that he questions me, but I suppose that’s what I get for relying on him so heavily in the past. “I’m twenty-two years old. I said I can take care of this, and I will.” “I know that, but I don’t like you being so far away.” “It’s only five hours.” “I know that, too.” I wait for him to relax. It’s understandable that he’d be nervous because I’ve never been so far away from him before. He is not only my brother, but he’s also my best friend, my protector. We recently found out that the grandfather who disowned my mom when she got pregnant with Jay at sixteen had passed away and left me his house. I didn’t even know he knew about me, so when the certified paper came in the mail from his attorney, I was shocked. My job allows me to work from home, so my plan was to come up here, clean and empty the house, and then sell it. But after seeing that the front porch is crumbling, I’m thinking it will take more work than I originally anticipated. Jay doesn’t say anything else, and I can almost feel the tension over the line. Sometimes he worries too much. “I need to go check out the damage. I’ll call you later.” “Smith will be there tomorrow morning at eight.” I bite my lip as I step closer to the house. “You’re sure he’s good? Because I’m telling you, Jay, this house is bad.” “Yes, I’m sure. He’s the best at what he does”—he pauses—“and I trust him.” His unspoken words give me the comfort I need deep down. Knowing he trusts this guy is something I needed to hear, even if I don’t admit it to him. I’ve never left my hometown, and I’ve damn sure never driven by myself and stayed in an unfamiliar city. Alone. Unprotected. “Okay.” “He has a big crew. They should be able to fix everything pretty fast so you can come home. If I’m able to wrap up this damn case sooner, I’ll be there.” He’s been dealing with a big case, and when I ask him about it, he says he can’t tell me anything. He’s been with the Chicago P.D. since he was in his early twenties and was one of the youngest to make detective at thirty-one years old. The past couple of years have been insanely busy for him with his new position, but he loves what he does. “I know you will. Shit, Jay. I might have to do an entire gut and remodel.” I turn my head at the sound

of a car door to my left. A tall woman with long, strawberry-blonde hair waves at me and grabs groceries from her trunk. I wave back and cautiously make my way up to the porch. “I’m gonna go take a look inside.” “Okay. Call me in a little while and let me know how it’s going.” “Will do. Bye, Jay.” “Bye, Mel. Stay safe.” I tuck my phone back in my pocket and grab the key that the lawyer gave me from my purse. Skipping the bottom two rotten steps, I tiptoe to the front door and put the key in the rusty lock. After I unlock it, I have to shoulder the sticky door to get it open. I wasn’t aware that dust had a smell, but when the particles hit me in the face, I cough and back up. Peering inside, I notice there is no furniture. Weird. Slamming the door, I say to myself, “Nope, not happening. Not tonight.” I’m tired from driving and don’t want to mess with this piece of junk right now. Getting in my car, I quickly head to a hotel instead of staying at the house as I originally planned. I’m not all that happy with my situation, so I don’t want to start the cleanup of that disgusting house right now. I check into the hotel and go to my room. Then lock the door, slide the chain in place, and then wedge a chair under the knob. My body relaxes into the bed, and as soon as I turn on the TV, my eyes close and I fall asleep. * * * “This is such bullshit.” I rip out a section of carpet in the living room and immediately drop it when a sharp prick stabs me in the finger. “Ouch, crap.” Frustrated more than ever, I feel tears of anger well in my eyes. First, Jay’s stupid friend never showed up to give me an estimate for how much it would cost his company to fix the damage. I tried to call Jay, but he didn’t answer. I’ve spent all day busting my ass and trying to make a small dent in anything I can because I don’t want to be here any longer than necessary. I want to go back home. I’m tired, I’m hungry, I’m dirty, and I just cut myself for the twentieth time today. The rickety water pipes drown out the music coming from my iPod when I turn on the kitchen faucet to wash my hands. “Stupid, this is so stupid. I didn’t even know the guy. Why would he leave me a freakin’ house?” Clear water turns brown when dirt and blood rinse off my hands into the clogged basin. I scrub my hands, taking out my frustration on my dirty skin. Something taps my shoulder, and I whip around and scream. Like horror movie scream. Loud and screechy and uneven. The man’s eyes widen, and he holds up his hands in surrender. My screams only become louder when I follow his tattooed arm to his neck and up past his face to meet his cold brown eyes. They soften and immediately change the hardened look of his face. “Relax, Mellie. I’m not going to hurt you. I’m Smith, Jay’s friend. I knocked, but you didn’t hear me.” His words sink in, and slowly, the adrenaline wears off, casting an eerie silence as my body trembles, and I slide to the floor. I pull my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around them, breathing heavily through my nose. I fight to push away a panic attack and try to calm myself. I thought I could do this—thought I could be on my own and independent—but now, I’m questioning myself. He squats down in front of me, and I look up to see a line forming between his eyes as he assesses me. “Do you want me to call Jay?” My head shakes rapidly, but I can’t seem to form any words yet. This will pass; I just need a minute. I haven’t had a panic attack in such a long time; I almost forgot how much I despise them.

Smith stands up and leans against the wall. I watch him watching me, and a gentle smile forms on his full lips. Breaking his intense gaze, I swallow and lower my head to get myself together, but not before I notice that his eyes are such a dark brown they’re almost black. After a moment, I push myself up, feeling like an idiot for being such a scaredy-cat. “Are you okay?” He asks with genuine concern in his voice. “Yeah, sorry about that. I’m really jumpy, and you scared the crap out of me.” A chuckle locks in his throat, and he pushes off the wall. “I gathered that.” “Jay told me you would be here this morning.” My voice is a little more accusatory than I would like, but I’m exhausted and just got the life scared out of me. His eyes narrow on me at my tone. “I told him I’d be here at eight. It’s eight.” “You meant at night?” “Yeah.” “He told me in the morning.” He raises an eyebrow at my snarky tone. “He didn’t listen very well.” As if on cue, my phone rings. I slide it out of my pocket but don’t miss the way Smith’s eyes trail down my legs and back up again. “Hey,” I answer in greeting to my brother. “Smith there?” “Yes.” “Sorry, Mel. He sent me a text a few minutes ago to let me know he was there, and I just saw your missed calls. I thought he meant eight in the morning.” His panicked voice makes me feel guilty. I hate he worries so much about me. “It’s okay now. Let me call you later.” We hang up, and as soon as I slide my phone back in my pocket, Smith’s chimes with a text. He slides his thumb across the screen and shakes his head before sending a quick reply. “Your brother’s threatening me.” “He’s a bit protective.” He clears his throat and shuffles his feet, before pointing his soulful dark orbs on me. “It’s okay. I’d be the same way with you.” A weird buzzing floats in my stomach from the echo of his deep voice in the empty house. “You used to be his partner, right?” When Jay first became a police officer, I was young, but I remember him talking about his partner, Smith. Then one day, he never brought him up again, and I kind of forgot about him until Jay told me he’d be the one working on the house. “Yep.” I don’t miss the emotion that crosses his face and I change the subject again. “Well, here it is.” I twirl around and wave at the gross, nasty, dirty, falling apart house. A whistle slides out of his mouth as he walks around and pushes against the wall, which sways under his weight. “He didn’t tell me it was this bad.” “We didn’t know. The attorney wasn’t very forthcoming with information.” I follow him around the house and try not to look at his firm butt and the way the tool belt around his waist is like an aphrodisiac. His commanding steps and easy swagger tell me he’s a confident man. His triceps flex under his short-sleeved hunter green t-shirt as he pulls up a corner of the carpet in the bedroom upstairs. “Fuck, I only had four weeks set aside. I’ll need double that. This is gonna be almost a total tear down.” “How much?” I already have preapproval from the bank, but I don’t want to go broke. “Dunno yet.”

A yawn comes out of nowhere, and I reach up to cover my mouth. “Sorry.” “Don’t be.” He leads the way downstairs, and I force myself to look at the slightly long, dark brown hair on the top of his head, instead of ogling his butt. “So what’s next?” I bend down to grab my purse from the floor, and when I stand up, Smith clears his throat before looking away. “I need to get my crew in here, and we’ll start the demo. Once we strip it down, we’ll be able to get a better idea of the plumbing and electrical… But if the condition of the rotting wood is any indication, we’ll need to rewire and replace the pipes.” Running my hands through my ratty blonde hair, I sigh. “When can you get started?” “Monday.” It’s Friday today, so that means I have the entire weekend to do nothing at the hotel. “Can I help and get started early?” “Wouldn’t recommend it.” He nods at my hands. “Don’t want you hurtin’ yourself any worse.” I roll my eyes playfully. “Well, I’m leaving then. I need a shower, and I’m starved.” “Where are you staying?” He follows me out of the house, and when I struggle to shut the door, he gently removes my hand and closes it with ease. “Hotel down the street. I can’t exactly stay here.” “No, you can’t.” I spot his ginormous black truck on the street as I walk to my little silver coupe in the driveway. “You wanna give me a key so I can get in on Monday?” I bite my lip and turn to face him. “I only have the one. I’ll get a copy and meet you here Monday. What time?” “Seven.” “In the morning?” I tease. He nods and steps backward toward his truck. “See you Monday, Mellie.” * * * My fingers are ready to fall off. I click save on the document I’m working on, email it back to my client, and then close my laptop with a relieved sigh. I only had a little to finish and wanted to get it to her promptly. My job as a freelance editor allows me to work whenever and wherever I want. Although I’m ahead of schedule, I’d still prefer to be back in my apartment at my own desk. My legs are killing me. My back is sore from ripping out all that carpet earlier and now from leaning over on the stiff mattress to do my work. I know I need to get some food, so I put on a bra under my hoodie and throw on a pair of tennis shoes. No need to switch out of my ever-present yoga pants. Since the hotel has no restaurant, I head down the street to the Chinese place I saw. It’s a little late, almost ten, and if it wasn’t on a busy street with a lot of light, I’d stay in and order a pizza. But I’m really craving sesame chicken. Plus, one of the downsides of my job is that I sit all day, and if I don’t force myself to move a little, I’ll turn into a blob. After about a block and a half, a door at the corner ahead swings open, and a woman stumbles out of the bar followed by a man who looks familiar, the only one I’ve met since I’ve been here. Smith isn’t hard to recognize, even though he’s wearing a button-down instead of a t-shirt. I slow and pretend to tie my shoe, so I avoid running into him. As the cab they got in passes me, I make the mistake of looking over at the exact same time he glances at me. His eyes show no recognition, and I turn around and head back to the hotel... with no food. I’m suddenly not hungry anymore.

* * * The next morning, I find myself frustrated and antsy. Even though I wouldn’t be doing anything at home, something about being in a hotel has me feeling claustrophobic. I head to the hardware store to make a copy of the key, and while I’m there, I get a pair of gloves, since I still plan to go to the house and rip up the carpet. I know Smith said I shouldn’t, but I can’t sit around and do nothing. Even if it’s not a lot, it’s still something, and I hope it makes a difference as to when I can go home. I’m walking the aisles because I have nothing better to do, and the hairs on the back of my neck stand up as a breeze skims over my skin. The feeling of somebody watching me creeps up my spine, and I wait for a minute before I turn around to find an empty aisle. Of course. Being scared all the time is a trait I’m working to overcome. I don’t trust anyone, didn’t even before it happened. Not only did I lose my innocence, but it also cost me friendships and relationships. Hence the reason I haven’t had a boyfriend or any new friends in over six years. Christ, I’m twenty-two. Nobody wants to hang out with a girl who’s afraid of the dark. Walking to the restaurant was a big step for me. I want to prove to myself that I can do things on my own again. Prove to Jay that I’m capable. My brother can’t babysit me forever. Supplies in hand, I stop at a drive-through on the way and sit in my car to eat before I go into the monstrosity of a house. At about nine twenty-five, I head inside and plug in my speaker dock then put some music on. This time, the gloves help when I’m ripping out the carpet, and I don’t stab myself once. After tying the strips into rolls, I toss them in the backyard and then work on emptying the cabinets. There isn’t any large furniture, but I find plenty of junk. So far, I have filled seven garbage bags and have at least another few to go. I’m tossing another bag in the trashcan in the backyard when a man crosses the lawn. My eyes widen, and I back away, but he talks quickly. “I’m Dale. I live next door. Just wanted to introduce myself.” “Oh, sorry.” I take off a glove and walk over to him to shake his hand. He holds on and looks into my eyes as I introduce myself. “I’m Mellicent. Everyone calls me Mellie, though.” “Nice to meet you.” His light green eyes continue gazing into mine. “So you bought the place, huh?” I pull my hand from his soft one and shake my head. “No, the owner left it to me. I’m just going to fix it up and sell it. Did you know him at all?” “No. I rarely saw him, and when I did, he wasn’t the friendliest man.” “Yeah. I’ve heard that about him.” He walks over to the door and looks inside. “You’re doing all the work yourself?” “No, I have a contractor, but I wanted to get a jump on it.” Without asking my permission, he steps inside the house. I wait out on the back patio as I take off my other glove and tuck them in my back pocket. No way in hell am I following him in. I look at my phone in the speaker dock and wonder if I have time to grab it. He asks something from deeper inside the house, but I can’t understand him from way out here. I’m not going in that house alone with him; that’s like horror movie one-oh-one. He appears again, holding a pliers in his hand. I can feel my eyes widening as he approaches me. I back up, trip over my own feet, and fall on my ass. He reaches down, and I scream, crawling away as fast as I can crab walk before I regain my bearings and run. “Why are you running?” he asks as he follows me around the backyard. I get to the corner of the house then turn to take off even faster but run into something hard. “Whoa.” Smith’s voice rumbles against my ear, and my knees give out. “Mellie, what’s wrong?”

Footsteps sound behind me through the dry leaves, and I grip Smith’s shirt harder, finding comfort and security in a man I don’t even know. He stiffens and wraps an arm around me. “The fuck?” he whispers to himself then raises his voice. “Who the hell are you?” “I’m Dale. My wife and I live next door. I just introduced myself to her.” I shiver at his voice, and Smith’s arm bands around me even tighter. “Why are you chasing her with a damn pliers?” His anger makes me feel just a little bit safer. The fact that he doesn’t question me or act as if I’m overreacting is reassuring. “I was taking a look around and wanted to ask her if this was the only tool she had to rip the staples out of the floor with. I’d offer her something better.” His story sounds genuine. Well, hell, now I feel stupid. I loosen my grip and try to step away, but Smith doesn’t let me move. “I think it’s best you head on home to your wife.” Smith’s aggressive tone is accusatory, and I try to push off him again, but he doesn’t let me. “Don’t,” he says against the top of my head. “Sure. Sorry to scare you, Mellicent.” The gate creaks when he walks through it, and I count to ten in my head to calm down. Smith turns me but keeps an arm over my shoulder and walks me inside. He looks around and shakes his head then puts his hands on my shoulders. Looking not at my eyes but into them, he asks, “Are you okay?”

Chapter 2 Smith

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She straightens her shoulders beneath my hands, and I step back. “Fuck, Mellie, why are you here?” She looks guilty. “I was trying to get some stuff done.” “I told you we’d start on Monday,” I snap. Fuck, Jay’ll have my ass if his baby sister gets hurt on my watch. She steps back from me and puts her hands on her hips. “And I told you I want to go back home as soon as possible.” “Get your shit together.” “Excuse me?” Her attitude is surprising, especially since Jay warned me to treat her like glass because she’s so fragile. “It’s not safe for you to be here. Or did you not get that just now?” “Just because I’m a woman doesn’t mean—” “There could be asbestos and or mold, sunshine. Not only is it stupid for you to be ripping shit up, but yeah, a woman alone in an empty house falls under that category, too.” Especially one as pretty as you are. Her face reddens. “I’m not stupid.” “I know you’re not. Which is why you’re going to get your stuff and get out of here. Then you’re going to do whatever you have to do until I call you and let you know it’s safe for you to be back in here.” “Don’t tell me what to do.” I take a breath and try to reason with her. “You really wanna be alone in this house, Mellie? You were fuckin’ running away from the neighbor when I got here.” “Why are you here?” She looks at my clothes—a light blue button-down shirt and pair of dark jeans with brown boots. “I was on my way out and saw the lights on and your car, so I decided to stop to see what the hell you were up to.” “I was trying to get some work done, and—AHH!” I stiffen and turn around, then step in front of her when I see the neighbor is back, walking through the kitchen. “Sorry.” He holds his hand up with the pliers in it. “Just wanted to return this.” “You think it’s okay to walk right the fuck up in her place, man?” I step toward him and clench my fists, wanting to deck him for being such an idiot. “Sorry.” He looks around me at Mellie, and I watch his eyes darken. Hell, no. “Get outta here, asshole.” I grab the pliers out of his hand and push him out the same way he came in. Pointing at him when he’s on the deck, I warn, “Don’t fuckin’ come back here. Especially when she’s here, you got me?” He holds up his hands. “Hey, man. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare her.” I ignore him and return to the house, where I shut and lock the back door. My anger level rises at the nerve of this prick. I don’t know Mellie well, but her brother saved my life, and I’ll be damned if something happens to her when I’m around. The fact that I felt something stir deep inside me the moment I saw her has nothing to do with it either. I grab her phone and bag, because she’s going back to the hotel. When I reach her in the living room,

which she actually made good progress with, she’s got her arms wrapped around her chest. “Mellie. It’s okay. He’s gone.” “I’m sorry.” “Nothin’ to be sorry about.” I don’t blame her for being scared; the dude has that creepy vibe goin’ on. Wire-rimmed glasses, his hair slicked back, and a tucked in polo shirt done up to the top button. “Let’s get you outta here.” “Okay.” Glad she’s finally listening, I follow her out to her car and squint my brows when I see she’s still shaking. “Hey.” I grab her hands. “You sure you’re all right?” “Mmmhmm.” She nods and runs her shaky fingers up and down her arms. “When did you eat last?” “Before I got here.” “When was that?” “Umm, I think like ten.” Almost eleven hours ago. “Jesus, you’re probably starving.” “I’m okay. I have some food at the hotel.” My phone vibrates in my pocket, but I ignore it. Vivian can wait. After last night, I want nothing to do with her anymore, so this will be the last time I see her. “You sure?” “Yeah.” “I’ll follow you back, all right?” She swallows and nods. “Sure.” The more I think about Dale, the warier I become. I’m not a cop anymore, but the instincts I have for a person’s character have never left. I have a bad feeling in my gut by the time we get to the hotel, but I push that aside and walk her to her door. “Thank you. I’m sorry I’m so jumpy.” “No need to apologize.” “Smith?” “Yeah?” She hesitates and then shakes her head. “Nothing. Never mind. Good night.” Her face reflects the same disappointment I feel. “Night.” I head to the restaurant and get honked at for sitting at a red light because my mind is stuck on Mellie and her innocent green eyes. Her long legs and even longer blonde hair. How good she felt when she was holding on to me for dear life. Fuck me, can’t be thinkin’ about Jay’s little sister like that. By the time I get to the restaurant, I’m almost twenty-five minutes late. Vivian is on her phone when I walk up. “Sorry I’m late.” The least I can do is feed her, but we have our dinner in silence. I’m waiting to get my credit card back from the waiter, and I’m just about to let her down, when my phone rings. Jay’s calling, so I answer it. “Yeah, man?” “Do you know where Mellie’s staying?” “Yeah.” “Can you go check on her?” Fear in his voice has me pushing my chair back. I mouth “I have to go” to Vivian. “What the fuck?” She screeches. “You’re such an asshole.” I sign the credit card receipt and take off. I don’t give a shit that she’s pissed. I don’t know why she thinks she’s anything more than convenient. “Already on my way. What’s up?” My truck starts with a growl, and I pull out, heading to the hotel. “I was talking to her, and she started freaking out because she said someone was knocking on her

door.” “Was it the maid or something?” “Nah, she said she looked through the peephole and nobody was there, but every time she walked away, they started knocking again.” “Did she tell you what happened earlier?” “No. What?” he yells. I give him a rundown on the neighbor and reassure him that I’ll keep an eye on her. “Pulling up now. I’ll be in touch.” Ignoring the woman at the front desk, I jog through the lobby and head straight to her room, skipping the elevator and running up the stairs to the third floor. The hallway is clear, so whoever it was has left. When I reach her room, I announce myself before I knock so I don’t freak her out any more. She opens the door. Her eyes are red and puffy, and she’s wiping her nose with a Kleenex. “Jay called you,” she states, not asking. She knows her brother well. “Jesus, Mellie. You okay?” I close and lock the door behind me, and she tries to get herself together. She struggles to catch her breath, and I can’t take it anymore. I wrap her in my arms and carry her over to the bed. Then I rest my back against the headboard, and she curls her body against mine. “What happened?” “Someone kept, kept knocking.” She sniffs and shivers. “When I asked who it was or when I looked, nobody was there. And they kept doing it.” I rub her back and try to get her to calm down. “It’s okay. It was probably just some punk kids being asses.” “Probably,” she agrees and cuddles in closer. “I hate being so scared all the time.” Her voice is small and quiet, almost like she’s embarrassed. I hate that. “It’s okay, Mellie. I’m here now.” I wonder if something happened to her to make her so skittish, but since Jay’s never mentioned anything, I doubt it. If she had some kind of trigger or something, he’d have let me know. He always talked about his sister like she was an angel. He worships the ground she walks on and is fiercely protective of her. I’m honestly surprised he even let her come here on her own, and when I said that to him, his reply was, “You’re there.” So now, it’s my job to watch over her. Minutes tick by and her body gets heavier against mine. For as reserved and afraid as she is, I’ve no idea why she’s letting me hold her, why she trusts me. I’ve no idea why I’m being so damn nice to her. I also have no idea why I don’t want to let her go. It’s only temporary, so for Jay, I’ll do it. I’ll comfort his sister and make sure she feels safe. I hold her in my arms, secretly liking how small she is and how good she smells, like fresh flowers and soap. Her damp hair drapes over my arm and soaks through the material, but I don’t care. Her breaths even out, and when I look down at her, her eyes are closed and her mouth is slightly open, soft pants coming through it. Even more beautiful when she sleeps. I don’t want to wake her, so I carefully slip my phone out of my pocket, text Jay that she’s okay, and toss it on the bed before I shut the lamp off. My fingers itch to touch her again, but I force myself not to. I can’t. Not only is she Jay’s sister, but she’s at least ten years younger than I am. She doesn’t even live here, and no way in hell would she be up for a quick fuck. She screams innocence. Hell, I’d be surprised if anyone’s ever touched her. My cock hardens under my pants with just the thought of her, untouched—fuck, I bet she’d be tight as hell—pure, and inexperienced. God, to teach someone what I like, to have her know how to please only me… “Damn,” I whisper. And that’s when I know I need to get her soft body away from mine. I shift her so I can slide out from underneath her and lay her on her side. I grab a blanket and toss it over her small frame. Walking over to

the door, I curse under my breath. There’s no way I can leave her here without putting the chain lock on. I backtrack and grab my cell, take off my boots and jeans, and then lie on the couch. She rolls over, kicking the covers off; her little shorts ride up so high, it’s obvious she’s naked underneath them. I close my eyes with a sigh and a sinking feeling in my gut about the beauty who’s stirring things inside me I never wanted to feel. * * * “Smith.” Something pokes me, and I open an eye to see Mellie’s smiling face above me. Fuck, that’s nice to wake up to. “Hey.” I sit up, and her eyes widen, and she quickly turns around. “Sorry.” I toss a pillow over my morning wood. “You didn’t have to stay.” She busies herself with putting her shoes on, and I chuckle under my breath at how embarrassed she is at the sight of a tent in my boxers. Innocent. “I didn’t want to leave without locking the chain.” I pull my jeans back on. “Oh. Thank you.” “What are your plans today?” She glances at me over her shoulder and relief flashes across her face when she sees I’ve put my pants on. “It’s my day off. I never work on Sundays.” “What do you do?” “I’m a freelance editor. But if I don’t give myself a day off, I’ll work myself to the bone.” “Cool.” I don’t know what that means, but I assume an editor is an editor. She ties her hair in a ponytail and pauses halfway. “Thank you for stopping by. I’m sorry I was such a baby.” It takes a lot of guts to apologize, and for someone so frightened all the time, she’s got balls. “Mellie, it’s fine. Promise.” “Okay.” She tucks some stray hairs behind her ears and reaches for her purse. “Where are you going?” “I dunno. Figure I’d look around town. Just get out, get some fresh air.” She shocks me. Intrigues me. She’s scared as shit one minute, but then the next, she wants to go off on her own. “You okay by yourself?” Before she speaks, she nods, more to herself than to me. “Yes.” “All right. Later.” I let myself out and walk down the hall and out to my truck. My keys are in my hand, but I can’t force myself to put them into the ignition. Fuck me. I can’t let her. A twenty-two-year-old girl roaming out on her own with no clue where anything is and perverts eye fuckin’ her whenever she walks into a room. Nope. Just as I’m turning around, she walks out the front door of the hotel, busy looking on her phone. She looks up and skips over to me, her blonde hair blowing behind her. “I thought you were leaving.” “I was, but um… I just thought.” Get your shit together, man. Jesus. “Want me to show you around?” Her face beams. “Yes. To be honest, I was almost going to turn around and go back inside because I’m such a chickenshit. It’d be nice to have a tour guide if you’re sure you don’t mind.” “It’s all good. I don’t mind at all.” “Well, I appreciate it. Thank you.” I should be the one thanking her; it’s been a long while since I’ve spent time with a woman so pure. She makes me feel lighter, almost. “I’ve gotta run home and shower. Then we can start the day by eating

the best damn pancakes you’ve ever had.” “That sounds great.” Her smile is infectious, and I find myself echoing the sentiment. * * * She doesn’t ask to turn the radio on in the truck, which surprises me. Anytime someone is in the car with me, they always want music. I like the silence, and I like that she does too. I like that, even after a bad night, she’s starting the day off on a good note. The best thing life can offer you is a second chance, and you get one every morning when you open your eyes. My mother used to say that and I try to remember it each day when I wake up. When we get to my house, I give her a quick tour of the downstairs and she hesitantly sits on the couch. I turn on the TV for her before heading to the shower. I ignore how easily she fits in my house. How comfortable I am around her after such a short time. As the water heats up against my skin, I grit my teeth together and try to not. I shouldn’t. I know I shouldn’t. When my dick hardens, I wash my hair, trying to ignore it. By the time I rinse off, I’m at full mast and decide just to do it. Otherwise, I’ll have a raging boner all damn day around this girl. I mean, Christ, she’s wearing cut-off denim shorts and an off-the-shoulder top, which almost completely bares one shoulder. I grip my cock and fuck my hand, thrusting into my fist and pretending it’s her pussy. I squeeze even harder, imagining how tight she’d be. Wondering if she’d be able to take all of me the first time or if I’d have to get her off with just the tip. This is wrong. It’s so wrong. Her brother saved my life. If he finds out the things I imagine about his baby sister, he’ll put a bullet between my eyes. She sure doesn’t look like a baby, though. She’s stunning, like a fucking model. A small nose and big green eyes. Her pouty pink lips would look amazing wrapped around my cock… “Fuck.” My cum shoots all over the wet tiled floor, and I hang my head as I watch it wash down the drain. I’m such a dickhead. I haven’t jacked off like that since I was a damn teenager in high school and I had a crush on my Spanish teacher. I quickly finish and meet her in the living room where she’s glued to the TV. A cooking show is playing, and she’s looking back and forth between the screen and her phone. I could just watch her for hours. Her face is so expressive, and she has a natural beauty I’ve never seen before. If I stand here and gawk any longer, I’ll feel like more of an ass than I already do. “Hey.” Her phone flies across the room and lands on the floor. “Dammit.” She leans down to get it, sticking her ass in the air. I bite back a groan and look away when she sits up. “Sorry,” I apologize. She waves me off and fixes her hair nervously. “Not your fault I’m so jumpy. I was just reading an email from the lawyer administering my grandpa’s will.” “Everything okay?” After huffing out a breath, she continues. “Yeah, I think I finally found out why he left me the house.” “Why is that?” “Well, nothing was ever documented as far as a reason goes, but after doing some digging, the lawyer thinks it’s Grandpa’s way of making peace with my mother.” “How so?” “I’m assuming Jay told you our parents passed away when I was younger? Apparently, Grandpa showed up at the funeral and got into it with Jay. My brother kicked him out, which left even more bad

blood between the two of them… So I’m the only remaining family.” I nod in agreement. That makes sense. Many years ago, we had answered a call where Jay almost lost his shit. I didn’t understand at the time that we had arrived at a scene similar to the one where his parents had died. He told me, a year and a half after we were partners, through a clogged throat and wet eyes, that a drunk driver had killed his parents. Unfortunately, I wouldn’t understand the crippling feeling until years later. “I’m sorry for your loss.” She blinks rapidly and offers a weak smile. “Thanks. Anyway, when my mom was pregnant with Jay, her dad kicked her out of the house. Thank God my dad’s parents didn’t feel the same and let them live in their house until they had enough money to be on their own. I wish I could remember them, but they died when I was really young.” She takes a moment to reflect. “So, by my mom’s father leaving me the house he’d kicked her out of, it’s sorta like his redemption, I guess.” “That makes sense, I suppose.” “Well, whatever.” She tucks her phone back in the pocket of her jeans. “No point in wasting time trying to figure it out. I just wanna get it fixed and sold so I can go home.” I ignore the hollow feeling in my gut when I think about her leaving and grab my keys. “Ready to go?” “Yes. I’m starved.” I lick my lips as she walks in front of me to the door. “Me too, Mellie. Me too.” * * * “Was I right?” “Oh my God, Smith. This is the best thing I’ve ever had in my mouth.” Her innocent comment flies over her head, but I nearly choke on my juice. I could think of something that she’d grow to love having in her mouth more than pancakes. “You okay?” she asks through a mouthful of food. “Yeah.” I hit my chest and take another swallow of OJ. “I’m good.” We finish eating, and she has the balls to argue with me about paying. When I raise my voice and jokingly scold her, she holds her ground and rips the bill from my hand. “Knock that shit off right now. Give me the bill.” “No. It’s the least I can do for you.” “Mellie, I’m serious. You’re not paying.” She calmly pulls out her wallet all the while still looking at me. “I really want to. Please.” Her lip trembles and her eyes plead. Then I do something I have never done in my life, and will never do again. “Would it make you smile again if you paid?” “Yes.” Her teeth sparkle, and I can’t help the warmth that spreads through me from seeing her happy. “Okay, sunshine. Just this once.” * * * We spend the entire day walking around downtown and checking out the sights. As the day goes on, she lightens up more and more. Her laughter gets louder and her spirits brighter. I took her to the food court, where she ate more than I did, and we ended the day with ice cream by the pier. Like a fuckin’ date. Now, I’m driving back to the hotel to drop her off, and I don’t want the day to end.

Normally, any time I spend with a woman is minimal, and I’m rushing to leave so I can take a shower and wash their smell off me. But with Mellie, I don’t want today to end. I don’t want this brightness and happiness to fade away. I forgot what this felt like. I walk her to her room, and she leaves her door open behind for me to follow. She falls on the bed and reaches across for the remote. “Wanna hang out and watch a movie?” Fuck, yes. “I’d better go.” “Oh.” Her face falls, and it tears me up, but I need to get away from her before I do something I’ll regret. “I’ve got an early morning tomorrow. Speaking of which, why don’t you just give me the key now, so you don’t have to get up at the ass crack of dawn?” And so I don’t have to see you again. I need some time to get my damn head on straight. “Sure. I got an extra made.” When she hands me the key, I squeeze my hand around hers, unable to avoid the pull she has on me. Her head slowly rises, and she looks at my lips. She sways forward, and I back up. “Night, Mellie.” “Night, Smith.”

Chapter 3 Mellie

A knock on the door, a pattern—knock, knock, pause, knock, pause, knock, knock, pause, knock—wakes me with a start, and I push myself against the headboard. My groggy brain is too tired to decipher if it was real or part of a dream. When the noise sounds again, I toss the covers off and tiptoe to the peephole. I weave my body around the chair I have propped under the knob and look through the little glass circle. Finding the hallway empty, I stand there, continuing to look out, but it remains devoid of anything or anyone. What the hell is going on? Tired and frustrated, I drag my feet back to the bed, and the rhythm sounds again, but this time something scratches the door after each pause. Fear registers in my brain before sliding down my spine. My hand is on my phone faster than I can blink, and I slide through my contacts and hit Smith’s name without thinking. During our time together yesterday, we exchanged numbers so we could communicate about the house. If I’ve learned anything from having Jay as a brother, it’s to get help first. You can question things later, but call for help to be on the safe side. I normally call Jay when I freak out for no reason, but this time, I think really there’s a reason, and Jay’s not here. When the ringing stops on the third ring, I wait for Smith to answer. “’Lo?” “Smith, someone’s here again,” I whisper into the receiver. Rustling sounds in my ear, and I hold in a screech when the scratching comes back on the door, this time without the knocking. “Call the front desk from the hotel phone. Then call the cops.” I should have thought about that before. “Okay.” “I’m on my way.” His truck starts, the beast of a motor revving loudly. “I’m in my truck now. I’ll be there in less than ten minutes.” “Okay.” “Call the cops, Mellie.” “Okay.” My shaking hands reach for the hotel phone, but when I put it to my other ear, there isn’t a dial tone. I slide the cord between my fingers, only to find the smooth plastic frayed in the middle. “Shit.” “What?” “It’s broken. The phone cord is split in half.” “Fuck, hang up with me and call the—” “No!” Another knock sounds, this time louder, and I crawl over in the corner to lessen the sound of my cry. “Don’t hang up, Smith. Please.” “Okay, okay. I won’t.” A scratch and a shake of the doorknob cause fear to paralyze my body. “They’re trying to get in.” He curses under his breath. “I’m going to hang up and call the police.” “No, please don’t.” Tears roll out of my eyes, and I lower my voice. “I’m so scared.” “Fuck, I know you are, but I’m still like five minutes out; a squad could get there faster.” “Please don’t.” “I’m sorry, I have to. Don’t move.” The phone becomes silent. “Smith? Smith? No, don’t hang up.” I slide down even lower on the floor,

pulling the comforter off the mattress and covering myself with it. If someone breaks in here, I don’t want to see them. The screech comes again, and I silently cry into the fabric. After a long few minutes, there’s a loud bang, followed by the police yelling. I scramble and rush to open the door. “I think they’re gone now,” I tell the officer as he nods at me. I use the back of my sleeve to dab the corners of my eyes and I step back into the room. “Can you tell me what happened, exactly?” As I’m going over the noises and cut phone cord, a commotion in the hall makes me jump. When I hear Smith’s voice, I stand up to go to him but then hesitate. “Mellie, Jesus. You okay?” He sighs a large breath when he sees me. Taking a few steps inside the room, he approaches me but then backs up and runs his hands through his hair. God, I’d love nothing more than to have him open his arms and let me fall into them. “Yes. I’m so—” “Don’t you dare apologize.” I swallow and nod. The question of why I want to allow myself to find comfort in his arms fades away fast. I don’t have Jay, so I’m using Smith as my stand-in protector. It makes sense. “Ma’am, if you don’t mind, I’d like to continue getting your statement.” As I continue to tell the officer what happened, I feel like an idiot. I’m sure I freaked out over nothing, and it was probably the same punk kids playing pranks again, running up and down the hallway. Smith and the guy taking my statement talk quietly for a moment. Then the officers leave and the hotel manager changes out the phone, apologizing. “Thank you for coming,” I whisper to Smith. His fingers press under my chin, and he lifts my face, so I’m looking at him. His normally intense chocolate-colored eyes lighten a shade. “Pack your stuff.” “What? Why?” “You’re not staying here.” He’s right. I don’t feel safe in this place. I pack my clothes and laptop into my suitcase. “Yeah, this is kind of a dive. I think there’s a nicer hotel down the street. I’ll go check in—” “I have a guest room.” My hands halt their progress mid-air, and the shirt I was holding falls to the ground. “Oh, umm, thanks, but I’ll just stay in a different hotel.” No way. No way could I stay with him. He’s just so... much. “You trust me?” How do I answer that? I don’t. For reasons I don’t understand... I do feel safe with him. I feel all the things with him: lust, security, alive. Too much. “Who’d you call when you freaked out tonight? Who did you cling to when that asshole was scarin’ you back at the house?” He steps closer and bends his knees, so he’s eye level with me. “You trust me.” “Yeah,” I admit. “I trust you.” “Then let me take care of you.” My eyes must answer for me because he picks up the shirt I dropped and tosses it on top of the other clothes. Then he grabs my suitcase and waits at the door for me. He carries my bags to the front desk, where I check out. When I get into his truck for the second time in as many days, a sense of calm washes over me. We drive silently to his house, and I sit up straight when he pulls into the garage and shuts the truck off. Before we get out, he gives me a quick rundown on the alarm system and has me repeat his code back to him. He then takes my belongings, and I follow him inside where I watch him disarm the system. The entire kitchen is black—countertops, floors, appliances. I wouldn’t have imagined it would look good, but

actually seeing it in person is amazing. His living room is sunken and surrounded with different shades of grays. It’s all very modern and manly. “Wow, Smith. This place is gorgeous.” “Thanks. It was originally a fixer-upper, but I couldn’t part with it once I saw the sunset.” He nods at the large picture window toward the back of the house. “The sun rises back here, which shines through my bedroom window and is just as amazing.” “Oh, I’d love to wake up in your bed to that.” He laughs then tries to hide it with a cough. When I realize how that came out, I quickly try to backtrack. “I didn’t mean… I just meant that I wanted to see the sun rise from your room. Not from in your bed. Oh, my God.” I can imagine how red my face is, since it feels like it’s on fire. “It’s okay.” He chuckles. “Let me show you to your room.” When he heads up the stairs, I look up at the ceiling and take a deep breath to get back a little of my dignity before following him. I see light flicked on in a room to the right, so I head there. “Thank you,” I tell him when I walk in and see him laying a blanket out on the bed. “No problem. The bathroom is right next door, and I’m across the hall.” “Okay.” “You sure you’re okay? That was a pretty scary situation for you.” I love his concern; he reminds me of Jay. But not in the brotherly sense... at all. “Yeah, I’m sure.” He makes a fist with one hand, and taps it against his leg, and then smiles at me before he walks out. The door shuts with a quiet click, and I fall onto the bed. I take off my leggings I threw on before I came and remove my sweatshirt, leaving me in a cami and boy shorts. Without even bothering to shut the light off, I fall asleep. “Mellie.” A deep voice rouses me, and the bed dips. “Wake up, Mellie.” When the sleepiness fades away enough for me to realize I’m being woken up, I blink my lids and see Smith’s handsome face. He smiles at me, and I melt further into the mattress. “Morning,” I whisper. “God, you look beautiful,” he says just as quietly. “I do?” “Hell, yes.” He trails a single finger down my face, his eyes watching it until they outline my lips. “From the moment I first saw you, I was floored by how fuckin’ beautiful you are.” Nobody has ever called me that before. I’ve never been beautiful. I want to tell him how special that makes me feel, but he continues before I can say anything. “But you’re Jay’s baby sister, and he’d cut off my nuts if he knew how badly I want you.” Why does that make me feel good… warm and fuzzy and safe? It’s been a long time since I felt like that. It’s time to move on. I know he won’t let anything happen, so with that encouragement, I get bold and trace his stubble. “He doesn’t have to know.” “Mellie… Baby, don’t tempt me.” Going from his cues, he wants this just as badly as I do. His nostrils flare, and when he licks his lips, I run my finger across them. A rumble erupts from his throat, and before I know it, he’s on top of me and his mouth is against mine. The tips of his fingers knead my butt with one hand and the other cups a breast. The prickly hairs from his face scratch me, but I don’t care. I’ve wanted this forever, it seems. Wanted to be normal after it happened. I whimper, and he pulls back. “Did I hurt you?” “No.” I close my eyes and smile when I feel his lips hovering above mine. “Good. I don’t want to hurt you.” That’s the last thing I want to do. You know how much I love you, but I can’t let him have all of you.

I have to have you, but I can’t hurt you… It’d kill me, you know that. I don’t want to hurt you. “Stop, Norman. Then stop if you don’t want to hurt me.” Norman yanks down my pants and flips me over onto my stomach. Why is he back? Jay said he was far away. I thought I was with Smith. “I’ll be gentle. I don’t want to hurt you.” “No!” “Shh. It’ll only hurt for a minute.” “Stop, please. God, stop!” “Mellie, wake up.” There’s Smith. He’s here; he didn’t leave. I won’t let Norman ruin this. I flip back over with a strength I wasn’t aware I had. I reach for Smith’s face to pull it back down to mine so I can feel his mouth against me again, but he’s gone. “Smith, no. Don’t leave.” “Mellie, Jesus, wake up.” He shakes me, and when I open my eyes, he’s above me, but not like before. Instead of being soft and sweet, he looks angry and scared. His eyes are frantic, and his hair is slightly wet, like he’s just taken a shower. Wait. He just came in here. Norman wasn’t here. Smith wasn’t here. Crap, I was dreaming. “Shit.” I sit up, pushing my hair off my face. “Shit. Sorry.” “Dammit.” He runs his hands through his hair. “Scared the shit outta me. You sure you’re all right? You need anything? Water?” I shake my head. “No, I’m fine. Just embarrassed.” I haven’t had a nightmare in a few years. I thought they had gone away. “Okay. Okay.” He stands, and I can’t help the gasp that flies out of my mouth, but this time, it’s because he’s in nothing but a towel, and I’ve never seen anything so hot in my life. Like back at the hotel, he’s underwear model beautiful, and I can’t stop looking. The towel is so low on his hips, I can see the start of the trail of dark hairs down there. I sweep my eyes all the way up... past the muscles in his stomach, the piercings in his nipples, all the way to the sexy shadow adorning his face, and finally stop on his dark eyes. Any thought of the nightmare is long gone. It used to take me all day to get rid of the terrifying dreams, but one look at Smith, and he makes them disappear. He’s a miracle worker. His Adam’s apple moves down and then back up when he swallows. He clears his throat, and I shake my head. “I didn’t know you had piercings.” I point at his chest. “I have another one.” I suck in a breath, and he curses under his. “Stop lookin’ at me like that, Mellie.” “Like what?” “The same fuckin’ way I’m lookin’ at you. Like I wanna climb in that bed with you. Like I’m dying to feel and taste every single part of you. Like I want you to help me remember who the fuck I’m supposed to be.” My breathing slows, but my heart still drums a rhythm so fast and loud I can hear it. “Who are you supposed to be?” He takes a purposeful step toward me; he’s so close I can smell the bodywash he just used. Soap and man. All man. I lean closer to him as he reaches out and cups my face with his hand. “Yours.” His thumb runs along my lips, and I suck it into my mouth. He hisses through his teeth and closes his eyes for a second. Removing his hand, he backs up, running his hands through his hair. “Fuck. Fuck. I’m sorry, Mellie.” My stomach is suddenly empty, and my pulse races for different reasons now. I don’t want him to be sorry. I don’t want to be Jay’s little sister. I want to be wanted. I want to feel desired. “Don’t be sorry.” I toss the covers off and inch closer to him. He continues to back up and shakes his head. When he bumps into the wall, I take three more steps until I’m flush with him, the warmth of his body heating my bare legs.

“Please don’t be sorry.” Of all the feelings I’ve experienced, this feeling... how right it feels, isn’t something I want to miss out on. I’m so sick of missing out on my damn life. His head tilts down to look directly at me. “Mellie, this is wrong.” “It doesn’t feel wrong.” It feels perfect. “Mell—” My phone rings, but I ignore it. Maybe if he keeps looking at me, he’ll find what he’s searching for. He blinks, then those warm brown irises dance across my face. The phone stops ringing, and I step even closer, pressing my chest against his. Just as he’s raising his arms to wrap around me, my phone rings again, the demanding tone breaking the mood. “It’s probably your brother.” “I know.” “You need to answer it.” Instead of those strong and calloused hands gliding against my skin, he puts them on my shoulders and gently pushes me away so he can leave.

Chapter 4 Smith

F uck me. Fuck me. Fuck me! What in the hell am I thinking? Why did I... tease her? I teased her about my piercings? I’m a fucking thirty-three-year-old man; I don’t tease women. Especially not ones who smell like flowers and shine like the fuckin’ sun. In fifteen minutes, she’s forced me to experience too much, too many emotions. Her scream came when I had just gotten out of the shower, and I was scared. Scared. I don’t get scared. And when she was calling out my name before she woke up... I can’t even describe how it felt to know she was dreaming of me, because nothing’s ever affected me like this. Then I stood up, and my dick was right behind. Not only does she make my cock burn with desire, but my fuckin’ heart is also warming up, and I don’t know what to do with this shit. Thank God her brother called, because I was about to do all sorts of things to her, with her, that she’d be sure to regret later. I get dressed, and as I’m tying my boots downstairs in the kitchen, she emerges like a damn vision. She’s thrown on a pair of stretchy black pants and a long tank top that molds to every one of her delicious curves. She won’t be the one to speak first, so I do. “I’m headed to the house. Make yourself at home here.” “Oh. Okay, thanks, Smith.” I avoid looking at her anymore because if I do, I’m honestly afraid of what the hell I’ll do. I’ve never been so goddamned turned on in my life. Even her fuckin’ voice is sexy. And her voice saying my name. All raspy and quiet. Like she’s just waiting for me to lean in closer, so she can tell me a secret. Hell, I have a couple of secrets of my own that I’d like to whisper in her ear. “I’ll be home late, so don’t feel like you need to wait up for me or anything.” I’m about to open the door after putting in the alarm code, only to stop and turn around when she calls my name. “Do you want my number?” Sixty-nine. That’s the only fuckin’ number I want that has to deal with you right now. “I already got it, Mellie.” “Oh, duh.” She laughs and twirls some hair. “Bye, Smith.” The ride to the house is torture because I can fuckin’ smell her in the cab of my truck. Whatever girly stuff she wears... fruit and something else. Like vanilla or cinnamon or some shit. It drives me insane. If I wanted to stop torturing myself, I’d roll down the window, but apparently, I’m a masochist so the glass stays up. I park in the driveway and don’t move for a few minutes, trying to think and get my head on straight. A loud knock on my window makes me jump, and my foreman points and laughs at me. I open the door and flip him off. “Fuck off.” “Ah, but, boss, if I did that, then we couldn’t get started on this beauty.” Nate nods at the house. “True. Let’s go.” We walk up the steps. Even though we skip the first two, the board snaps on the fourth one, and Nate’s foot gets caught. He pulls it up, cursing and brushing off splinters. “Ha, fucker. That’s what you get.” When we make it inside, Nate whistles at the mess. “My thoughts exactly.”

A few cars and trucks pull up as we’re doing a walk-through. By the time we’re done and come back downstairs, my crew is waiting. “Well, boys, hope you had your Wheaties this morning ’cause this bitch is getting stripped.” The men split up to tear down walls and rip out the rest of the carpet. Being busy is good because it helps keep my mind off the woman who’s gone from a favor to an obsession in a matter of days. I start in the kitchen, demolishing the cabinets, but not before I reminisce about the first time I saw her standing right where I am. I’m carrying half of the sink outside to toss in the dumpster that arrived an hour ago and I see a familiar silver car stop across the street. Legs for days appear before the rest of her body emerges from the front seat. She shakes her head, and her shiny hair blows in the wind behind her. When she leans in the backseat to reach for something, her ass sticks out of the car. She’s gotta be joking. I look around to see if there’s a music video being filmed or something. Nope, just her being clueless to her beauty. “Dayumn…” one of the guys says. “Nice ass.” “Fuck off, Tony.” I glare at him until the sound of her car door shutting tears me away. Mellie smiles as she crosses the street, struggling to carry two bags. She shifts on her feet and bites her lip when she reaches me. “Hi. I brought lunch. I hope that’s okay.” “You didn’t have to do that. The guys bring their own shit.” I take a bag from her and look down at her. So fuckin’ pretty. “I’d love to eat what you brought.” Tony snickers. I turn and pin him with a scowl. “Shut the fuck up.” His eyes widen, he hangs his head, and when he realizes how serious I am, he heads inside. Bastard. “It’s just subs.” Mellie breaks my train of thought. “But I know how bad this house is, and I really want it done as fast as possible, so I figured if I fed everyone, they’d have more energy... and it could get done faster?” I ignore how much it stings that she wants to leave as soon as she can. “How did you get your car?” She left it at the hotel when I drove her to my place since she was so worked up. “I called an Uber.” “You should have called me. I would have come home and taken you to your car.” “It’s okay. I need to learn to… I mean I wanted to. So”—she holds up the bag she’s still holding —“you hungry?” Before I get the chance to answer, a herd of guys storms out of the front door with Nate in the lead. “Heard there was food out here.” One of them hollers. “Yep!” Mellie smiles shyly and sets the bag on the ground. “I have some sodas in the car. I’ll be right back.” She turns, and I attempt to grab her arm, but somehow, our fingers end up intertwined. She pauses to look at our hands, a flush spreading up her neck that makes me feel ten feet tall. I drop the bag in my other hand and give her fingers a little squeeze, loving how soft her skin is. “I’ll carry the drinks.” “Oh. Yeah, sure.” She walks away, and I only have a split second to make this decision. Since I don’t want to let her go, it’s an easy one to make. I step beside her, and we walk to her car across the street to get the soda, hand in hand. * * * I stayed long after my crew left for reasons that outnumbered rationalization. We got almost the whole

house demoed, and since I put in fourteen hours today, we’re even closer. When my garage door closes behind me, I finally crawl out of my truck and head inside. My keys echo in the house. I’m about to shout for Mellie to let her know I’m home until I see the tips of her toes sticking out from under a blanket on the couch. I take my boots off and throw my dirty longsleeve shirt on a stool. Once I take the step down into the living room, I see her curled up on the couch, laptop on the floor, an arm hanging off the cushion, and her shiny hair like a halo. Even in the dark, she lights up the whole room. Just as I have thoughts about how fuckin’ adorable she is, I walk away and head back to the kitchen. I’m starving, and since the last thing I ate was the sub she brought at noon, I have no problem finishing some stale pizza and washing it down with an ice-cold beer. The house is dark for the most part, so when I flip off the light in the kitchen, the shadow that moves from outside catches my attention and puts me on alert. I rush to the window, and when I hit the switch to turn the floodlights on in the back, I don’t see anything. I worked my ass off on this house but have yet to landscape the backyard, so the only thing in the back is grass. Nowhere for anyone to hide, so it must have been an animal or my imagination. I shut the light off, go to Mellie, and gently poke her shoulder. “Hey. Wake up.” She stirs, and I chuckle. “Mellie.” Her sleepy eyes open, and she smiles. “Hey. Sorry, I fell asleep.” “It’s okay. I’m heading up to bed; you should, too. Otherwise, your neck is gonna be stiff in the morning.” “Okay.” “’Kay. Night.” “Night, Smith.” Before I can say or do something stupid, I go upstairs to take a shower and throw on a pair of pajama pants. I’m about to close my door when I notice hers is still open. I peek in and find the bed empty. I tiptoe down the stairs and debate what to do with the sleeping beauty on my couch. Maybe I should kiss her; isn’t that what happens in the fairy tale? Holy shit, I’ve become a teenage girl. In an effort not to wake her again, I move her laptop over so I can carry her. The screen lights up, and her cat’s ugly face pops up as the screensaver. It’s got a smooshed face and long ratty white hair. When I accidentally press a key, a document pops up and illuminates the screen. My eyes feel like they will bug out of my head when some words jump out at me. I set the computer on the coffee table then crouch down and read her comments on the page. I like what you have here, but I’m not sure the wording is correct. If she was on her back and her legs were thrown over his shoulders with her hands tied to the headboard, I don’t see how she can meet his thrusts. He has control over her body. Consider something like, “He gripped my hips in his hands, and his biceps flexed every time he pushed and pulled me, my dripping wet pussy gliding easily up and down his long, thick length. The release he withheld for the past three days finally reached its peak.” “Holy… Are you fucking kidding me?” I whisper to myself and adjust the damn hard-on in my pants. She edits this stuff? This is her freelance work? A wicked smile turns my lips up. Little miss shy and quiet has a dirty mind. She has a naughty side I’d be happy to let her explore. I wonder if she practices this stuff to test for accuracy. Shit, I’ll be a volunteer. A bell chimes and a message pops up. I know I shouldn’t read it. I’ve already violated her privacy, but when I see it’s from Jay, I can’t help myself. Sorry it took so long to reply. This case is kickin’ my ass. Anyway, I wanted to assure you he’s still far away. I have eyes on him, Mellie. He won’t hurt you again.

My damn heart drops to the floor with a thud so loud I’m surprised it doesn’t wake her up. I was right; someone fucking hurt her. I take a breath to cool down the blood boiling in my veins as I think about some asshole laying their hands on her. And for Jay to be involved, keeping an eye on this bastard to make sure he doesn’t come back. Motherfucker. Goddammit, Jay didn’t tell me shit. I’m gonna kick his ass for holding out on me. Mellie releases a small sigh, and I close the screen and watch her, wondering what in the hell I’m going to do with her... and not just tonight. Knowing these few details about her makes the way I feel about her even more ferocious. Feral, almost. There’s so much more to her than I originally thought, and I want to peel each layer back until she’s laid bare in front of me. When I can’t prevent a yawn, I decide all this shit will have to wait until tomorrow when I can think straight. I’m dead-ass tired, and my damn head hurts. I lean down and cradle her in my arms again, trying to ignore all these fuckin’ feelings. She doesn’t even stir, and when I lay her down in her bed, she stays fast asleep... unlike me, who stares at the ceiling most of the night, trying to process why, for the first time in almost a decade, I’m letting a woman inside more than my pants.

Chapter 5 Mellie

As much as I’m a loner, I don’t like being in this big house by myself. Smith’s been gone all day; he was gone before I even woke up in bed with a smile on my face. I know I didn’t walk up the stairs, so that only left one option. And I’m mad at myself for not waking up when I was in his arms. A note scrawled on the back of an envelope told me he left to go work on the house, and he’d probably be late again. It’s midnight now, so I read that note fourteen hours ago. During the day, I finished my current edit and talked to Jay a little bit through messenger. Apparently, he’d spoken to Smith earlier in the day. Smith had found asbestos, and he and Jay decided I would stay with him during the remodel and not move back to a hotel. So being in his space isn’t just a couple of days thing as I initially thought… It’ll be weeks, maybe even months. It’s better and safer than a hotel, for sure, but it’s Smith’s house... where he lives and where he probably has dates over. The thought of him with another woman makes me green with jealousy, even though I have no claim on him. On the one hand, I feel like it’d just be easier for me to go home and wait, since I’ve physically seen the damage to the house and met the person who’s fixing it. But then I think about how much of a hassle it would be. I don’t want to do everything over the internet or phone, and I don’t want to drive back and forth. Especially since I’m convinced that someone followed me the whole way here. I’ll just talk to Smith when he comes home. Soon enough, he’ll be to a point where maybe I can move into the house while they finish it. Then I can list it and sell it and get the hell out of Dodge. Back home where I can forget all this stupid bullshit about the house and Smith and go back to my normal, quiet life. I might not have been the happiest back home, but at least it was routine, and I knew what to expect. I made Jay take pictures of Mouse and send them. I miss her so much. If anyone saw the way I talked to my cat, they’d probably think I was insane. She’s been my best friend through everything, and I can’t stand being away from her. She was my comfort zone. But now, Smith is taking her place for the moment. The safety net I thought I had was gone a year ago when Norman was released early for good behavior. That’s what freaks me out. I worry he’ll come for me, or rather, come back for me. That he’ll want revenge because I testified. That his obsession never went away. Jay assures me I’m safe. Norman is not only a registered sex offender, but since it happened the day before I turned seventeen, he’s also listed as a child predator. Nobody would hire him, and since everyone in town knew what he did, he was an outcast, forced to move far away to live with his grandparents. Jay keeps tabs on him and is tight with the law enforcement where Norman resides. My brother has always protected me, but he was especially diligent after it happened, and I’m so grateful for him. For his strong shoulder to lean on and for his determination to see the man who was responsible face the consequences of his actions. But I’m so sick of being afraid. And as much as I didn’t want to come out here, I’m glad I forced myself out of my comfort zone. Because I remember how I used to be. Happy. Carefree. Naïve. I want to be like that again. I want to fall in love. I want a family. I want to feel safe. But nobody will want a basket case like me. Even though I’m making steps toward becoming a more normal twenty-two-year-old, my past will always hang over my head. I long for the day when I don’t think I see him. The day when the memories no longer creep up on me from out of the blue and hinder any progress I’ve made. Maybe someday, I tell myself. Maybe one day, I’ll wake up and not think twice about leaving the

house. Like yesterday, when I brought them sandwiches. I was shaking when I got in the Uber. I was in tears when I walked to my car alone. But by the time I got to the house and saw Smith, I was so damn proud of myself. It’s silly, really. That a task so simple is such a big deal. But it was a step, and for that, I should be proud. Smith makes me want to take a lot of steps. I’m like a fish out of water with him, but there’s something, no everything, about him that makes me want to dive in headfirst and not come up for air. I want to drown in him. I’m not expecting a relationship or anything, but since I will be here for a while, I thought… Hell, I don’t know what I thought. That we’d live out some romantic trope, and he’d teach me how to be myself again. He’d show me all the things I need to know about sex, and then we’d magically fall in love. Jeez, Mellie... you’re an idiot. It’s never going to happen. Nothing more will ever happen. Sitting on the couch, I’m watching a game show when I hear the garage door open. I get up and head to the fridge to pull out the dinner I made for Smith and put it in the microwave. He walks in right when his food finishes warming, and I set it on the counter. “Hi. I made you dinner; you must be starved.” He doesn’t look up at me as he’s taking off his boots. “How was your day?” Instead of an answer, he huffs... almost like a small laugh. When he stands up straight, he steps toward me then stops. His jaw is clenched shut, and I watch him as he looks at me, then the plate of food. He notices my sweater hanging off the chair, his clean laundry in the basket, and the clean pans drying next to the sink. “I’m not hungry.” “Oh well, I can just save it for—” “I’m going to bed.” He turns on his heels and practically stomps toward the stairs. Mortification brings tears to my eyes, and I have to clear my throat before I speak. “If you don’t want me here, I’ll go back to a hotel.” When he stops, he’s so still I can see the rising and falling of his shoulders from his breathing so hard. His fists clench, and he turns around slowly. “You’ll stay here.” “But... you seem upset about me being here.” I swallow and lean against the fridge. The scrutiny he’s shooting my way is almost too much to take. He’s a gorgeous man, and still dirty from working with his hands all day and wearing a determined look on his face, he’s that much more attractive. “I’m not upset with you being here. I want you here.” He licks his lips. “But what I don’t want is you acting like you need to take care of me. I don’t need you to feed me. I don’t need you to do my laundry. I’ve been alone for a long time and survived just fine.” I blink back the wetness from my eyes and his soften. “I was just trying to be nice.” “Dammit,” he mumbles and drops his head for a second. He moves so he’s in front of me, but the kitchen island still separates us. “I know you are. But I can’t… Fuck, Mellie.” “Is this because of what happened the other morning?” “You mean yesterday?” he snaps. “When I told you things I’ve never fuckin’ thought about with anyone? When you sucked my thumb in your mouth, and all I could picture was how good your lips would look wrapped around my cock? The same cock that’s always fuckin’ hard when I’m around you? When you pressed your tits against me and I was a half a second from slamming you against the wall and takin’ you so hard the plaster breaks? That? Is that the other morning you’re talking about?” My mouth dries up, and I can’t speak. I can’t form a complete thought, other than I want to do all the things he just said. I want to do them with him. A slight nod is all I can manage. “Ya know why I didn’t yesterday, though?” He answers before I can reply. “’Cause your fuckin’ brother called. The same brother who I talked to today, who told me…” He stops, and I immediately

know that he knows. He’s giving me the same look as everyone in town did when it happened. Pity. “He told you?” I whisper. Smith squeezes the bridge of his nose and nods. “Damn him. Goddamn him!” I shout. The tears previously just a blur now flow freely down my face. Jay promised. He promised me he wouldn’t tell. I made him promise not to tell anyone. I wanted to try to fucking live for once. I wanted to see if I could face someone and not have them know the most intimate and embarrassing details of my life. His throat clears. “I saw a message pop up from him when I moved your laptop last night.” “You read my work?” He finally raises his head, and the turmoil in his eyes makes my throat dry. “Yeah. I didn’t mean to, but I had to move it, and it was on the screen. It wasn’t intentional.” Shit. My own brother doesn’t even know the details of what I do. I don’t want people to judge the authors who write such incredible stories, or me. I never thought I’d be editing erotic romances, but somehow, it landed in my lap. My head falls this time. I can’t say anything. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what he wants me to say... what he expects from me. My profession doesn’t embarrass me, but I am ashamed of what happened, and in all honesty, for what I did and said yesterday morning. I acted like a fool, like a horny teenager, and I feel like an idiot for it. But now he knows, and that makes me feel even smaller. “Look, I fucked up, okay?” I don’t hear him move, but I feel his hand on my chin as he tilts my head up. “You’re so pretty, Mellie. And I just… I’ve never…” He drops his hand and tucks it into his pocket. “I’m a man, and you’re smart, beautiful, funny… I acted inappropriately. I’m not used to someone so… sweet. I’m so sor—” I don’t let him finish because I can’t listen to it anymore. I can’t hear an apology come out of his mouth for something I wanted so damn bad. For something I’ve never had... for feeling desire I didn’t know I yearned. Maybe this is stupid too, but it’ll be worth the embarrassment. My mouth crashes against his, and even with my inexperience, I slide my tongue against his. He makes a noise, a half whimper and half growl, low in his throat, and wraps his arms around me. Whatever control I had in my moment of boldness is long gone, and I happily let him take control. His hand slides up my back and then down again. The tips of his fingers glide along the waistband of my yoga pants and dance across my thong. He gives it a little tug, and I whimper at the sensation. I finally wrap my arms around him and thread my fingers through his hair. He lifts me up and sets me on the island, knocking the plate of food over. The sound of the glass breaking makes me pause, but Smith doesn’t even acknowledge it. His hands come up and frame my face, while the intensity of the kiss slows. He finally tries to pull back, but I don’t let him. I like his mouth on mine. I like his hands all over me. I like him consuming me, and I want more of it. “Don’t stop,” I whisper, right before I kiss him again. His answer is to kiss me back a little rougher, more desperate. I wrap my legs around his waist to pull him close. The moment the hardness under his jeans touches between my legs, he presses into me. My ankles are a vise around him, and I throw my head back. “Oh, my God.” “Ah, hell,” he grunts, and copies the movement. An unintelligible noise passes through my lips, one I’ve never heard with my own ears, and light flashes behind my eyelids. “You want me to make you come, Mellie?” He pants, stilling his movements. “Yes.” “Look at me, baby.” The brightness burns a tad, but my eyes find his in under a second. “Yes… please.” His hands flex, and he rotates his hips and grinds against me so hard I’m surprised I haven’t slid

across the granite. The warmth and tingling travel down from my belly to my core, and the sensation makes my legs shake. I hold my breath, not knowing it to go away. “Breathe, Mellie. Let it happen. Just relax.” His soothing voice calms me, and I let out a whoosh of air. “There ya go.” “Smith…” “God, I love how you say my name.” I can feel it. It’s right there. My entire body is on fire and sweat beads the back of my neck. “I don’t… I can’t.” A wave of pleasure teases me, mocking me with the promise of what could be. He leans down, releasing my hips, and rests his forehead on mine. The desire radiating off this big, strong man is almost too much. His lips graze over mine, his tongue sneaking out and barely touching my lips. “Just let go, Mellie. I want you to come for me. Can you come for me?” He kisses down to my neck and along my collarbone and then pulls down the collar of my shirt. Through the cotton of my white bra, he sucks a nipple into his mouth, and my back instinctually arches, pleasure taking over my nerves. Then I do what he said and let go. And just like that, it happens. The ache between my legs releases and spreads through my entire body like a wildfire, setting the sensitive nerves on fire. “Oh, my Go—” I collapse on my back, and my legs—suddenly unable to function on their own—fall. The heat cools off beneath my skin, and I shiver, having never experienced anything close to that before. Never knowing that the things I edit and read about could be reality. Reality. Smith. He knows. I just had an orgasm from that… something he probably hasn’t done since before he could drive. Something I did in high school before my world changed. The difference between a man and a boy are so far apart they’re not even on the same level. Every single thought that I could be brazen with him vanishes. I’m so damn embarrassed right now. Shit, shit. I hop off the counter, forgetting there’s broken glass, but he grabs me before I can cut my foot. “What are you doing?” He sets my butt back on the place I just tried to vacate, and the severity of what I just did hits me. “Did I hurt you?” “I’m sorry,” I cry. “What?” His voice is pained, and his eyebrows pull in confusion. “Why the hell are you sorry?” “I didn’t, I don’t know… Because that’s not what you…” The hiccups in my throat prevent me from finishing a sentence. “That’s not what I what?” I take a breath. “What you’re used to.” “Christ, Mellie. Ya know what I’m used to?” He grabs my chin and forces me to look at him. “I’m used to coming and still feeling unsatisfied. I’m used to women who want to play more games than girls did with me in fucking high school. I’m used to women who spread their legs so easily I’ve questioned my morals. I’m used to not feeling anything.” He moves his hand from my chin and grabs my hand then pushes it against his chest over his heart. “I’m not used to this being involved with my dick.” “But you didn’t… you know?” I find it difficult to say the actual words. “I don’t want you to think I’m using you.” He laughs. “You don’t even know how to use somebody, Mellie.” My jaw unhinges, and I try to push away from him, mortification hitting me in the gut. “No. Shit. That’s not what I meant. I meant that you’re too nice. You’re so fucking innocent, and you don’t have a vindictive bone in your sweet body to manipulate someone.” He smiles. “And honestly, I can’t remember the last time I felt something like that. If you think that’s taking advantage of me, you can use me anytime you want.” “Really?”

“Yeah, really. I’d never lie to you.” With the conviction in his voice, I believe him. “I liked it,” I mumble. “I fuckin’ loved it. Feelin’ how hot you got, watching your eyes glaze over. Shit, baby, I’ll go to bed dreaming of your beautiful face.” He leans toward me and presses a kiss to my forehead. “But the last thing I want to do is hurt you.” Stop crying, Mellicent. I know I’m hurting you, but you need to shut up about it. I swallow through the lump in my throat and fight it back. Dammit. I’ll never be able to be normal. Smith doesn’t have time for an insecure, inexperienced, damaged girl. As much as I want him, he deserves someone who can give everything, and that person is not me. This was a mistake. It was all a big, huge mistake.

Chapter 6 Smith

She swallows the same time a shadow of fear passes through her face. I absorb the sudden change in her eyes and step back. I hate seeing her brightness fade away... especially when I know I’m the cause. “Maybe I should just go to bed.” I nod and try not to feel as disappointed as I do. Damn, I don’t like this feeling. “If that’s what you want.” When I lift her off the counter and set her away from the broken plate, it takes more self-control than I thought to let her go. “I’ll clean this up.” “Okay.” She dips her head and quietly turns around. I hate that the vibrant woman who fell apart against my jeans-clad dick is closing in on herself and on me, too. I hate that I know this is wrong, but I can’t fuckin’ help myself. Mostly, I hate that I will have to live off that memory, because that can never happen again. As much as I’d like it to, it can’t. Her brother will kill me, for one. She’s too young. She’s moving back to Chicago. The list goes on. When I first saw her, I had an all-consuming desire to have her in my arms any way I could. Something I haven’t felt with anyone, and frankly, it scared the shit out of me. I’d had a shit day, and the last thing I wanted to do was go look at the house for Jay. When I walked in and she didn’t see me watching her throw a little temper tantrum, I thought she was the hottest thing I’d seen in forever—her blonde hair flying around and her perky ass shaking. But when she screamed out of fear, I saw the true alarm in her eyes, and the need to protect her collided with my desire to see her beneath me. And now that I’ve seen how fuckin’ beautiful she is when she comes, the craving to make her all mine is almost debilitating. Everything is molding me into this man whose desire for this woman is so fierce it scares me. And only one other thing in the world scares me more. I should be ashamed, especially after the horrible shit Jay told me today. But fuck, I don’t want to stay away, even though I know I should. In the few days I’ve known her, she’s pulled things out of me I thought I’d buried with them when they went into the ground. But dammit, I knew; I could tell just by looking at her that she feared something. Now that I know what it is, it makes me want to protect her even more. I want to give her what she lost. I want to hold her when she’s scared. I want to give her the fuckin’ world. And I want to be the one to give her pleasure. Dammit all to hell that I can’t. * * * Not knowing what will happen if we run into each other in the morning, I purposely leave early—again— and stay late. Just because I didn’t see her all day doesn’t mean I didn’t think about her every time I blinked. Sleeping across the hall from her is a special form of torture, but I deserve it for having such mixed and messed-up thoughts about her. And for what I did on that damn counter. She made the move, but I should have stopped it. I’m running on fumes after avoiding her, so when I walk downstairs three days later at nine in the morning and she’s sitting on the island with her hair in a messy bun, typing away, I take a moment to watch her. I’ve never had a woman in my home. I’ve remodeled every inch of this house, and it’s the only place I

can go where I’ve erased their memories. Even memories of my best friend. He practically lived with us and any memory with him was also with them. Not one photo, one childhood memento, or one family heirloom to remember them by is out in the open in my home. It’s hard enough to drive through town and see families having ice cream at the place we used to go for every birthday. Or look in the mirror and see my twin sister’s eyes staring back at me. I can never get away from seeing the Porter & Son Construction sign my dad made and proudly hung outside our building before I confessed I wanted to be a cop. I should take it down. But the reminder of how quickly and unexpectedly you can lose everything is something I need. It reinforces my decision not to form bonds or attachments or develop deep emotions with anyone. “Morning,” I say, as I grab a bottle of water out of the fridge. She flinches and says, “Morning,” back without lifting her head. I don’t like her not looking at me, avoiding me. Hypocritical, I know. The tips of her nails click against the keys as she continues to type. A giggle breaks the silence, and she stares at the computer screen as if she’s in love with it. “What?” My curiosity gets the better of me. Without speaking, she turns the laptop to show me a picture of her fluffy white cat. I squint my eyes to look closer… Yup, it’s wearing a tiara. “Jay put it on her and sent it to me.” I nod and internally roll my eyes, not sure how someone can think that nasty thing is so cute. Mellie seems to be okay, but instead of pressing her, I put my boots on and grab my keys. It hasn’t been long at all and I’m not even remotely close to dismissing my intense feelings for her, so I can’t imagine she’s recovered. The need to get away from her slaps me in the face. “I’ll be late again.” The door closes behind me before I can hear a response... if she even gave one. As I’m driving to the site, my phone rings, so I answer it via Bluetooth. “Hello?” “What’s up, fuck face?” The familiar voice makes me laugh. “You in town?” “Nope. Just wanted to hear your voice.” He says it as a joke, but the harsh reality is he does call me randomly, and I fear it really is just to hear my voice. To know he has support. As much as I want to push him about his lifestyle and about how dangerous it is, I’m afraid he’d never contact me again if I did. “Fucker. Door’s always open, man. You know that. Always was, always will be.” He must sense the lingering sadness in my voice because he clears his throat. “I’ve gotta go. I’ll shoot you a text later.” In typical Erik fashion, he hangs up before I can say goodbye. Damn, that was quicker than normal. I park down the street and around the corner from the house and rest my head on the steering wheel. Hearing the guilt in Erik’s voice brings back everything, and I need a minute to pull myself together. Erik was more than my best friend. The son they always wanted, my parents used to joke. When his elderly grandmother died, leaving him homeless at fifteen, my parents took him in without a second thought. Ever since their death, he’s been a different person. He took it almost harder than me, and instead of shutting himself off from the world as I did, he turned to a bottle to help cope. That and women. I don’t judge him, don’t blame him for his choices, but it hurts that when they died, I lost him, too. Freak accident kills family. That’s what the headlines said. That’s how callously the story was reported for the whole world to see. Front-page news, like a damn tabloid. Mature trees surrounded our childhood home. My sister, Sophia, and I had played in those trees growing up. Trees we used to climb on. Trees that provided shelter when it was too sunny or when we played hide-and-seek. But it was the largest one that ultimately fell onto the roof, crushing through and taking the lives of the only family I had.

A storm... a goddamned storm ruined my life. A fucking force of nature took away everything I ever loved. A single gust of wind damaged me permanently. Not only did it take away my family, but I lost myself, my ambition, and my heart has been frozen ever since. Until now, until her. I thought it impossible that a single ray of sunshine could penetrate through the ice, let alone melt it away. When I get to the house, an idea hits me, so I call Jay real quick and send Nate a text to let him know I won’t be working today. What I’m going to do will be worth any delay it might cause. Eleven hours later, I pull into my garage and grab the surprise I have for Mellie. The house is quiet once I get inside and devoid of any sign of her. Nothing new. The lingering smell of garlic tells me she still made dinner for me. I head upstairs and knock on her door. “Hey.” She opens it a crack and with tired eyes meets my own. “Hi.” “Were you sleeping?” “Yeah.” She yawns. “I edited a large manuscript today, and I’m beat.” “I didn’t end up getting any work done on the house today.” “Umm, okay.” “I was too busy getting something for you.” Before I’m able to show her what I have, the damn cat meows. Mellie screeches and whips the door open all the way. “Mousie!” She rips the crate from my hand and pulls out the ugliest cat I’ve ever seen. It looks like a pile of white fuzz. “I’ve missed you. Oh, my little girl, I missed you so much.” She cuddles the thing and laughs as it climbs up her body and nuzzles her face. The smile and laughter coming from Mellie make my sore ass worth it. It’s been too long, for my liking, since she’s been as happy as she is now. She deserves to be happy like this all the time, and I’ll do whatever it takes to see that beautiful smile. After a few minutes, I clear my throat, and she finally acknowledges me by giving me a one-armed hug. “Thank you, Smith.” Her lips brush over my cheek as my arm accidentally brushes over her practically bare ass. I was too busy looking at her face to notice that she’s only wearing a sweatshirt and no pants. She backs up a step, and I look away, reaching down to pick up the crate. “I have her stuff downstairs. I can bring it up.” “I’ll get it. You don’t need to. You’ve already done enough. Thank you. So much. It means the world to me that you thought to do this.” “You’re welcome.” She doesn’t need to know that I have my own selfish reasons for bringing her cat to her. I should be ashamed, but I’m just not. I want her to stay with me, and if I have to look at a ratty ass cat to have her here, then that’s what I’ll do. “Listen.” She shifts the cat in her arms. “I’m really sorry about everything... the stuff that’s happened.” “You don’t need to apologize.” “I do. It shouldn’t have happened. I’m really sorry.” “Mellie, please don’t be sorry for that.” “Did you see Jay?” She changes the subject, but at least, she’s talking. “No. He just gave me the code to get into his house since she was staying there.” “Oh. Well, thank you again.” “You’re welcome, sunshine.” Then she turns tail and shuts her door. I take a shower in cold ass water, and by the time I get out, she’s moved the supplies from the kitchen. While I’m down here, I eat some of the leftover roast she made and then go to bed.

* * * A week and a half of this shit and honestly, I’m getting pissed. I realize I’ve been working a lot, but I know she’s avoiding me on purpose. It’s not a coincidence. She’s in her room with the door closed when I leave in the morning. When I get home at night, she leaves me a note that my dinner is in the fridge, even after I told her to stop cooking for me. She has probably continued cooking since I eat what she makes every night. She’s a damn good cook, and eating a homemade meal has been the highlight of my day. The only time we talk has been when I call her to update her on the house and give her options for materials and prices. Even with the cat, she doesn’t come around when I’m home. The last time I actually saw her was when I brought Mouse to her that night. I haven’t gotten to see her light and her beautiful face, and it’s killing me. Slowly draining the blood out of my veins, I feel a fuckin’ hole in my chest that she’s hiding. Like I’m a goddamned predator or some shit. Well, it’s Sunday now, and I’m finally taking a day off. So when she wakes up, she’ll have no choice but to run into me. I’ve gotta talk to her about the house anyway. Just as I’m putting my plate in the dishwasher, she practically floats into the kitchen. “Hey, sunshine.” My voice makes her pause. “Oh, umm. Hi.” She remains at the bottom of the stairs and almost trips over the cat at her heels. “What are you doing today? You usually take Sundays off, right?” I ask, already knowing the answer. “Yeah. I do.” Her fingers twist together. “I was going to work on some landscaping in my backyard. I’ve been putting it off, but I thought that maybe you’d want to come with. You can help me pick out some stuff, so it doesn’t look like shit.” She seems about to grab the bone I’m tossing her. We have to move on from this awkward avoidance shit. “Yeah, you know what? I would.” Thank you, Lord. “Cool. I’m just gonna hop in the shower. No need for you to rush.” By the time I get dressed, she’s ready. We ride in silence to the garden store and shop for some patio furniture. She wanders over to the flowers and rubs some petals between her fingers. I step aside and let a family pass in the aisle as I continue to watch her. She smells a couple of the roses and smiles. “Whatcha doing?” I ask. Without looking at me, she answers. “My mom’s favorite flowers were roses. We always had them in the house. I remember walking into the kitchen, and even if she was cooking, the scent of the flowers lingered.” With a shrug, she turns to me. “You ready to go?” “What color?” “Huh?” “What color do you like? We can get some and plant them outside.” “Oh, you don’t have to do that.” My gait is purposeful as I approach her. Stopping in front of her, I lean down to make sure she’s listening. “I want to.” Her lids slowly lower, and when she raises them, her eyes sparkle. “Red. Red roses are the best.” “Let’s get you some roses, then.” She piles the flowers into the bed of the truck after I load the new patio set and fire pit. When we get back to the house, I carry the stuff to the back, and she brings the plants. As I’m putting together some of the furniture, a sandwich is placed on the ground in front of me. “Thanks, babe.” “I’m trying to butter you up.” She presses her lips together and sits cross-legged in front of me.

“Why is that?” I take a bite and wait for her answer. “I have no clue how to plant rose bushes.” She rushes to continue talking. “I should have said something earlier, but—” “It’s fine.” “I’m sorry. I’m sure I’m going to kill them.” “Let me finish this up then we’ll try to figure it out together.” “Okay.” She sighs. “But I wouldn’t get your hopes up. I can’t even keep a cactus alive.” “You’ve managed to keep a cat alive, I’m sure it’ll be fine.” While I’m eating, she flips through the instruction manual for the fire pit. Once I’m done, she stays out back and helps me. Thanks to her, I remembered to buy cushions. She places them on the seats, and we both step back to look at everything. The white furniture is the perfect contrast to the dark stain of the deck, and the bright accent colors she picked out work perfectly. “It looks great, Smith.” “It does,” I agree. “Let’s see if we can plant these bad boys.” I grab two bushes, and she carries the third one. We walk to the left side of the house, which is opposite the garage, so there’s really no reason she would ever see back here. She peeks around the corner. “What’s that?” “An old car.” “Um. Okay.” I drop the bushes. “Let me go grab some shovels.” Without an acknowledgment from her, I walk around to the front of the house and open the garage, grab some shovels, and then head back. “I think this spot will be good because this area gets a lot of sun.” “Why do you have an old car sitting under a tarp on the side of your house?” Damn, right to the chase. “It belonged to my grandfather. I can build a house with my bare hands, but a mechanic I am not. I don’t want to get rid of it, but I don’t want it to take up space in my garage. So here it sits.” “Can I see it?” “Yeah, sure.” I wipe my hands on the back of my jeans then pull the tarp off. “Here she is.” Mellie looks inside and walks around it in a circle. “It looks pretty clean for just sitting out here.” “Hmm.” She’s too damn observant for her own good. I’m not sure if I like the fact that she can read right through me or not. “All right, let’s plant these flowers.” I dig some holes, and we toss the bushes in, cover them with dirt, and then water them. “Guess we’ll just have to keep watering them, right?” She asks as she picks up the empty soil bag. “I suppose.” We both head inside after we throw out all of the trash, and I grab a shower in my bathroom while she uses the guest one. The night is approaching, and I order some delivery from the Italian joint in town. When she comes downstairs, her hair still partially wet; I can’t help but get turned on by the fresh, flowery scent that is her. “I ordered Italian.” “Oh, that sounds great. We should eat on the patio.” “Definitely. Let me go light the Tiki torches and start the fire.” Unintentionally, I set a romantic mood out on the patio. With the new added touches, it looks awesome out here. I don’t know why I never decorated before. Probably because I never came out here… Had no reason to, really. But now, the moon is shining brightly above, and I’m excited to eat with her. It’s been so nice today; she’s still not carefree like before, but she is acting more herself. I wish she understood she doesn’t have any reason to be embarrassed. She doesn’t need to be shy around me because I want her just as she is. All

of her. After the food arrives, she carries it out with some plates and forks while I grab a bottle of wine. I got this from the store when I knew she’d be staying here for a while. I don’t even know if she likes wine, but she’s a woman, and I pretty sure all women like wine. When we eat, neither of us talks. I don’t mind silence in the car, but I don’t like it right now. So I decide tell her something about me. Something personal. Since I know about her, maybe it’ll make her feel better if she knows more about me.

Chapter 7 Mellie

“Sometimes, I try to count the stars,” he confesses. “I lie there on that old rusty car and count the stars like I’m a kid again.” I pause, my fork halfway to my mouth. I knew something was fishy about that car. The way he evaded my questions was strange, but his whole demeanor changed. “Why do you do that?” “Well, for one, I didn’t have any lawn chairs back here.” He finishes his glass of wine and pours himself another before topping off mine. “And I thought that since I know something you didn’t want me to know, I would give you the same.” My fork falls out of my hand, and he quickly reaches over and grabs hold of both of my hands. He continues without letting them go. “I was really close with my grandpa. He handed down the business to my dad. I learned almost everything I know from him. My dad taught me a lot too, but it was my grandpa who would spend hours in the garage with me. It makes me feel close to him; I have memories with that car, but I can’t bring myself to sit inside it. So I settle for sitting on the hood.” “And count the stars?” “Yeah.” He releases my hands and sits back a little. “I used to do it when I was a kid. It’s not a big deal or anything, but you’re the only person who knows that.” I understand now what he’s doing and appreciate it so much. It does make me feel better. “Thank you.” I pick up my fork to finish eating, and before I know it, we’ve emptied a bottle of wine and are sitting in the lounge chairs, laughing. He’s telling me stories about Jay, and I’m trying to top him. We do the same thing the next night, except I make chicken. Tonight’s topic isn’t Jay, but we laugh all the same. And the following day, we do the same thing. He peels back a layer each night, and while he might not realize it, I am doing the same to him, too. He left for work this morning, and since it’s been a week since we went to the garden store, I go for a drive. I need some girly stuff from the store, and I don’t want to get myself stuck in the same routine. I need to force myself to get out of the house, so my agoraphobia doesn’t return. Once I get in my car and pull away from Smith’s house, a fear I haven’t felt in weeks immediately strikes me. I didn’t purposely not leave his house, but I had no need to. Smith always has food, and I have everything I need with me. Plus, old habits die hard. I hated avoiding him after that thing happened in the kitchen, but I was so damn embarrassed. And scared. And just so unsure of myself and what I should do. But in doing so, I missed him more than I probably should have. The terror I was so used to feeling while asleep has come back some nights. Sleeping with Mouse helps keep the nightmares at bay, though. Still, I’ve had my clothes packed multiple times, telling myself the next morning would be when I’d go home. But I can’t bring myself to do it. I can’t leave him. I don’t want to. Just as I’m getting to my car from the store, my phone rings with Smith’s name flashing on the screen. I get in the car and lock my doors. “Hello.” “Where are you?” He blurts the question out, and the words jumble together. “Leaving the store.” “You’re not here.” “Where is here?”

“Home. You’re not home. I came home, and you weren’t here, and it scared the hell out of me.” I have to take a breath and hold my emotions together. Jay has been the only person in over ten years who cared about me enough to worry where I was. “I’m sorry I didn’t leave a note.” “It’s okay.” I hear him exhale. “I’m just glad you’re safe.” “You’re home early.” “Yeah. They finished clearing out the asbestos in the basement today.” “Really?” “Yep.” “Can I see the inside? I’m dying to see what you guys have done to the rooms you could work on.” “You can.” “Awesome. Well, I’ll be home in a little bit. I’m going to stop there on the way home. Bye!” I hang up and toss my phone onto the seat. Entering the address into the GPS, I drive to the house. As I get closer, I feel my throat tighten. My nerves are acting up for some reason. When I stop at the curb, I take a moment to breathe, and when I finally look up, I’m shocked to see how torn up it is. Even more so than before. A large dumpster is overflowing on the left side of the yard, and most of the front porch has caution tape draped across it. I slide out of the car and walk up the makeshift ramp leading to the front door, digging through my purse for the key. Shit. If it’s even the same one... doubtful since it’s a whole new door. As my fingers search through all the junk, my phone buzzes. Jay’s name flashes on the screen, so I slide it unlocked to answer. “Hello, bro—” “He’s missing, Mellie.” His frenzied voice causes an immediate panic. My throat swells even more, and my head pounds. “I’m not sure how long... a few days, maybe. But to be on the safe side, I want you to stay at Smith’s. Do not leave his side. Do you hear me... Mellie!” My throbbing head becomes dizzy and spots dance in front of my eyes. My entire body contracts so hard I can barely breathe. His voice fades away, and I think I’m going deaf, but as the phone is pulled from my ear, I realize he’s found me. Warm body heat presses against my back, and my joints lock as my heart tries to claw its way through my chest. I watch as a man’s finger presses the button to end the call, then drops the phone, shattering the screen. All of the times Jay taught me how to fight simply disappear with my dignity. My eyelids slam closed. I can’t see him... don’t want to see him. I didn’t the first time, and I don’t want to now. The painful memories are enough to haunt me. “Please—” I’m not sure I even got the word out before he cuts me off. “Shh…” he whispers, tucking some hair behind my ear as his lips graze the lobe. My body is not functioning right now. I’m unable to think, to move, to breathe. The vomit that threatens to rise burns in my stomach. The only thing I can do is stand here and shake. And silently cry. He’s come back for me. His lips trace over my jawline, and I squeeze my eyes shut even tighter. The smooth skin of his cheek presses against mine, and he makes a mewling sound that causes tears to leak out through my closed eyelids. The tip of his tongue touches my face when he licks the tears away. Silence surrounds me as my ears buzz and my brain fogs over... taking me to a different place. Anywhere but here. I go to the haven I made myself go the first time this happened. Blue sky, an ocean breeze, birds chirping. I think about Mouse playing with the butterflies. Imagine her chasing them around. Water laps against the shoreline made of pink sand, and tires squeal. The arm wrapped around my waist pulses tight before it evaporates, and I feel myself falling. The sand is pulling me under, and I can’t fight my way out. “Mellie!” That voice is so far away. “Fuck, Mellie!” My knees collide with the wooden porch, but then a strong set of arms engulf me and lift me against a

familiar chest. “You’re okay. You’re okay.” The timbre of his voice penetrates through the walls I just built, but I still can’t move. I want to say something. I want to tell him thank you. I want him to never let me go, but I can’t fucking move. “It’s okay, Mellie. It’s okay. I’m here now.” The tightness in my bones lessens, and I’m able to grab him. I clench his t-shirt, pulling him closer. I finally open my eyes, and the first thing I see are his full lips pulled down matching his frown. He’s not looking at me but scanning everything around us, wearing a look of anger I’ve never seen on him, even when we argued. He must sense I’m more alert now, because his eyes briefly flash to mine, softening momentarily before digging in his pocket for something. Smith unlocks the door and tries to pull me inside, but I might as well be a statue. I cling to him, my fingers throbbing with the force of my hold, but I can barely move my legs, and I’m not sure if they feel like noodles or if they’re filled with concrete. He squeezes the arm he already has around my waist, and I welcome the comfort, knowing he’s holding me, protecting me. Then he lifts me over the threshold of the house and closes the door. His chilly hands grab my chin, and he looks directly at me, but I can’t seem to focus on his face. Stars dance around his head and everything becomes blurry, darkening until it’s a solid black mass of nothing.

Chapter 8 Smith

I stand in the hospital room watching her. She probably didn’t need to come, but I’d rather be safe than sorry. My arms and ankles crossed, an anger—a rage—I’ve never experienced sits on the edge, just waiting to unearth its wrath. Not two minutes after she hung up, I realized she didn’t have a key to the new door, so I hopped in my truck to go let her in. But that phone call from Jay, the one where he knew something had happened to her because her predator was missing, scared the absolute hell out of me. And when I pulled up and saw a man with his hands on her... fuck, that did me in. The door to her room swings open, and Jay doesn’t even acknowledge me as he makes his way to her bed. He got here faster than I thought. Her blonde hair is framing her pale face like an angel, despite the trauma she just endured. She stirs as Jay pulls up a chair, but when she opens her eyes, she looks past him to me. Thank God nothing was wrong with her other than a little shock. “Fuckin’ A, Mel. I’m so damn sorry.” The torment in Jay’s voice makes her look back at him. She clears her throat. “It’s not your fault.” “Yes, it is. I’m supposed to keep you safe, and I fucking didn’t. He put his goddamn motherfucking hands on you again. I promised you that would never hap—” “It’s not your fault.” Mellie’s weak voice cuts him off, and she sits up and leans closer to him. “It’s not your fault. It wasn’t then, and it isn’t now.” Her arms wrap around him, and she presses her face into his shoulder. When he closes his eyes and a tear rolls down his cheek, I silently let myself out of the room. Pacing the hall, I beat myself up for letting her leave without me. Hell, I’m beating myself up for how I’ve handled everything with her. I’m sure she’ll go back with Jay now. Soon, I’ll be nothing but a memory for her. I slide my ass down the wall and sit on the floor waiting for Jay to come out. After about fifteen minutes, he comes out of the room and quietly closes the door, nodding for me to follow him around the corner. “I should have fucking known,” he hisses in my general direction. “That sleazy fucker is goddamned obsessed with her. He’ll never leave her alone. Fuck!” “I’m sorry, man. I shouldn’t have let her leave, but she was excited to see the house, and she took off before I had a chance to stop her.” Not only wasn’t I there to stop him, but he got away because I stayed with her instead of chasing him. “Nah.” He shakes his head. “Not your fault. I’m working on this other fuckin’ case, and my undercover agent’s getting antsy. I slacked on my updates with Norman.” To placate him, I nod. “What do you want me to do?” “Pack up her stuff. I’ll swing by and get it. I’ll figure out her car later, but I’ve gotta get her back where I can keep an eye on her.” His unspoken words—that I let him down—hang heavy in the air. Even though he says it’s not my fault, we both know it is. As he pinches the bridge of his nose, Mellie’s scream makes us both run to her room. The door slams against the wall when Jay roughly pushes it open. Her hands are fists, and her head thrashes. The look of terror, even with her eyes closed, is enough to make me want to kill the son of a bitch who put the fear inside her. Jay gets in before me, and when she takes a shaky breath, she calls my name.

“It’s me, Mellicent,” Jay urges, using her full name. “It’s okay.” “No. No. I want Smith.” Jay stands and glares at me. I ignore his accusatory look and rush to her side. “Hey, sunshine.” Her fists lose the death grip she has on the sheets and her lashes flutter. “Smith?” “Yeah. It’s okay now. You’re okay.” A groggy and confused, yet mesmerizing, set of green eyes meets mine. The beeping of machines and sounds of medical staff talking in the hallway fade away as a bubble surrounds us. She relaxes, and I hold her hand. “You’re okay, Mellie.” She blinks and a tear slides down her cheek, and without thinking, I wipe it away with my thumb. A sob overtakes her body, and she launches herself at me, burying her face in my neck while she cries it out. The fact that she’s trusting me to be the one who soothes her and comforts her means the damn world to me. Especially since she wanted me over her brother. I rub her back and whisper words of encouragement in her ear. She slowly calms down and eventually stops crying. As I try to lay her down, she grabs my shirt. “Stay.” “I’m not goin’ anywhere.” I manage to lie on my side with her in a ball against me. Even though her knees are digging into my chest, I leave her be. I’d endure a hell of a lot more pain than this for her. Her shaky breath warms the front of my neck, and I have to push some of her hair off my face. Poor thing is so emotionally exhausted. A throat clears, and I look up to find a very angry Jay staring at me. Shit, I forgot he was even here. He shakes his head and drops his crossed arms then storms out of the room. I get that he’s pissed, but I don’t care. Whatever happened or will happen between Mellie and me is our business. Ours. Us. There is an us. God, the weight pushing on my chest lifts, and I can finally take a full breath after admitting that. I know he’s waiting for me, so when she falls asleep, I slide out of bed, cover her up, and find him around the corner where we talked before. My mouth opens to speak the second he slams his fist into it. Dammit, he’s quick. “That’s the only one you get.” I run my finger along the cut and then wipe my hand on my jeans. “You’re fucking serious, Smith? My sister!” “Nothing’s happened, man.” Except that I’m falling in love with her, but I can’t tell him that. “Trust me; it’s different. Do you really thing I’d fuck and dump her? Especially after what you told me.” “Didn’t say that. But it’s not happening. I saw the way you looked at her.” “Really?” I cross my arms. “And how’s that?” “The way I used to look at—” He takes a breath and a step closer. “I should kick your goddamned ass, Smith.” “You could try. But it won’t change anything.” “Probably not. Doesn’t matter, though, because she’s coming home with me. I’ll deal with the house shit from here on out.” I hold my hands up, defeated. It’s not worth the fight right now. I’m more concerned about her being comfortable than battling with Jay. “Figured you’d say that.” “For a smart man, you’re really fucking dumb.” His phone rings, and he holds up a finger. “What’s up, Ty? Yeah, I know. Yes. Soon. I know she is. Soon, I promise. Right. Later.” Before he slides his phone back into his pocket, he lets out a grunt of frustration. “What’s up?” “Just this fuckin’ case I need to get back to. While you were in there with her, I got her discharge papers. She’s good to go, just tired. Why don’t you head out and I’ll meet you at your house to get her shit. I need to get back to work.” He ‘accidentally’ rams his shoulder into me as he passes, not giving me an option either way. I walk by her room one more time and get a glimpse of her before I head downstairs to leave. The drive back to

my house is probably the longest one I’ve ever had. I hate walking inside and knowing her little touches won’t be here anymore. The way she always made dinner for me. And how she always refolded the blankets I tossed on the couch. I’d never known that I wanted anyone in my space. She may have been avoiding me because she’s embarrassed about what happened, but there’s no denying whatever there is between us didn’t go away with our childish silence game. It’s immature, but I will not be the one to pack her stuff, so I grab a beer and sit on the couch. Mouse jumps up, and I scratch her head. How the hell this cat has grown on me, I have no clue. No. That’s a lie. It’s because of Mellie. I’d do anything for her. Just my fuckin’ luck that the one woman I want is the one I can’t have... at least, not yet. Two car doors slam outside, and I make my way to the front door to let them in. Mellie walks right past Jay and me. “Mousie.” The normal baby talk she uses with the furball isn’t there. She scoops up the cat and heads upstairs, her feet pounding all the way. Jay rolls his eyes. “She’s pissed at me.” I close the door behind him. “Yeah, me too.” But I will not fight him on this right now. The last thing she needs is her brother and me going at it. It’s definitely not over, though. That’s for sure. I have to at least try one more time. “She’s been through a lot, and I don’t want her hurt.” Now, that pisses me off. “You think I’d hurt her?” “I think she needs—” “Stop telling people what I need!” she screams from the top of the stairs, and then a second later, she storms down them. “I’m an adult, Jay. If I want to stay here, I should be able to.” “You need to be by me right now. I have resources at home I don’t have here.” Jay tries to convince her almost as much as himself, I think. “Whatever.” She walks out of the house with a suitcase. “I do not need this shit right now,” Jay mutters then follows behind her. I close the front door and lock it, then grab my beer and go to her room. When I open the door, a smile forms on my face, because she left all of Mouse’s stuff. When I open the drawers and the closet, her clothes are still there. She didn’t take anything.

Mellie Jay taps on the steering wheel as he drives, and I continue to give him the evilest eye I can. “Stop staring at me.” “You know this is stupid, right?” “No. This is what’s best for you. I have a security system at home, and when I’m at work, I’ll have eyes on my place.” “Smith has a security system, too. You’re being selfish. What is this really about?” “Nothing.” “I’m not stupid, Jay.” “Look, you’re tired, traumatized, and confused. Let’s get you home so you can get good sleep.” I huff. “I’d be asleep if I was at Smith’s.” “In whose bed?” he snaps. “Wow. So now I’m a whore. Thanks, brother.” “No.” He lets out a frustrated breath. “I know you’re not. That’s not what I meant.”

“It’s what you said.” His knuckles turn white as he grips the steering wheel. “You’d feel safer with him instead of me?” “Jay,” I whine. “Don’t ask me that.” “I’d never let you be with someone who I don’t trust to protect you, Mellie. It doesn’t matter what I think of his ability, though; you need to be comfortable with him. But from the looks of the... thing that happened in your hospital bed, I’d say you’re pretty cozy.” “He makes me feel safe.” Even though I’ve been an idiot and avoided him like the plague the past few weeks. When I was having a nightmare at the hospital, all I could think about was Smith. I thought about how he makes me feel—safe, happy, pretty. He makes me feel like I’m a desired woman and not an inexperienced victim, even if I put that label on myself. He gave me a choice, and I know it. But I’ve just been too chicken to act on it. It’s embarrassing to feel so insecure and afraid you’ll be a loser in the love department. I don’t know much right now. I’m so fucked up in the head from knowing Norman is out there, but one thing I do know is I want to be with Smith... if he’ll have me. I’m sick of living scared, sick of being a victim. But Smith didn’t make me feel any of those things. I’m not naïve enough to believe Norman won’t get to me again, but when he does, I’d like to have experienced true love before he kills me. Hell, I’ll settle for a strong ‘like.’ And I’m already past that with Smith. “No.” Jay’s gruff answer stirs me from my thoughts. “Okay, Jay,” I concede. “You’re right.” I’m too tired to argue with him right now. I’m going to go home and get some rest. I’ll deal with everything else later.

Chapter 9 Mellie

A week and a half later, my ringtone wakes me up. I push the covers off the bed in Jay’s spare bedroom and groggily make my way to the dresser to grab my phone. I don’t even look at who it is and slide my finger across the screen to answer. “Hello?” “Mellie.” Smith lets out an audible breath. “Hey.” I’m suddenly more awake; I didn’t expect him to call. “Hi.” I crawl back into bed and rest on my side, pulling the covers up to my chin to ward off the chill. “How are you?” God, I love his voice. I smile. “Good. You?” “I’m okay.” A few moments of awkward silence fill the line before he speaks again. “So, um, I needed to know the type of tile you wanted for the bathrooms and kitchen. And the wood for the floor. I can send you a picture of the options or something.” “Oh. Yeah. I guess that would be okay.” Disappointment rises and I try to swallow it down. I was hopeful maybe he wanted to see me. “You left your stuff here.” “Did I?” He chuckles. “Yeah, sunshine.” “Oh. Well, I guess I’ll have to come and get it.” “I guess you will.” The sound of glass breaking makes him curse under his breath. “I’ve gotta go.” “Okay.” “Bye, baby.” My heart flutters in my chest so rapidly I can’t even respond. This is stupid. I want to be with him. He obviously has feelings for me, too. Right? I mean, he must. He brought up that my stuff was still there and didn’t protest when I said I’d come get it. I’ve been texting with him, finding out about Mouse, and he gives me updates on the progress of the house, but it’s all so superficial. I was afraid to call because I didn’t want to hear him tell me to come get my stuff. But now I know that’s not the case. Ten days is far too long to have not spoken to him, and I feel like a part of me is missing… I hate it. Plus, I miss my damn cat. I left her there on purpose... all part of my plan. I’m just glad Jay didn’t realize she wasn’t with us in his car until we were almost back in Chicago. With a renewed sense of hope, I throw the covers off and get ready. I get my unpacked suitcase— which, yeah, I did that on purpose, too—fill it with more stuff, and then grab my purse before going to the front door. “Shit,” I say to the empty house. I still have no car. Jay told me last night he would leave early in the morning for work and that we’d figure out how to get my car back later. I look out of the peephole and see a cop car in front of his house. The set alarm flashes in my peripheral vision, and I suddenly feel very claustrophobic. I don’t want to live like this. I can’t live like this. I drop my suitcase and sit on the couch, bouncing my leg. I’ve gotta figure out how to get out of here. I don’t pray much, but when I open the airline’s web page, I ask God for a flight that leaves today, and I find one. I’m not about to get a ride with someone I don’t know. Thumbing through the few measly contacts on my phone, I stop on the only person I think could help me.

“Hello?” Mary answers. She’s the wife of Jay’s last partner, Brandon. They’re in different departments now but still see each other outside of work. They’re both nice, sweet people. “Hi, Mary. It’s Mellie.” “Hi. Is everything okay?” “Yes. No.” I sigh in annoyance. “I know you probably haven’t heard all the details, and I’ll be glad to fill you in, but I have a favor to ask.” “Okay, sure.” Mary is the nicest woman in the world, and whenever she and Brandon had get-togethers, Jay always brought me along. She treated me like a sister, and mothered me at the same time. I got the feeling she had a rough start in life, but I didn’t feel it was my place to pry. Occasionally, we’d go to lunch, but it’s been a while, now that she has more responsibility. “I need a ride to the airport.” Jay’s gonna kill me. Is this stupid? Yes. Do I care? No. I’ve never, not once, done anything like this. Sure, I have a stalker after me, but he’s also a smart psychopath. There’s no way he’ll do anything in public, so I’ll feel marginally safe in a crowded airport. “Oh.” She sounds relieved like I was going to ask her something else. “When?” “Now? My flight leaves in an hour and forty-five minutes.” “Mellie. Shit. Um. Let me get Steven together, and I can be at your house in twenty minutes.” “I’m actually at Jay’s. Can you park around the corner on Lincoln Avenue, though?” “What’s going on?” Right now’s about the time she goes into mother mode. “I promise to fill you in when you get here. But if I’m going to make this flight, I need to go. Now. And Mary, I need to catch this flight. Please?” A brief pause makes my heart skip a beat, and I’m afraid she will say no. “I’ll be there in fifteen, then.” “Thank you.” I grab an envelope from Jay’s kitchen island and flip it over to write him a note. JI know you will be pissed at me, and I’m sorry. I can’t live like this anymore. I feel like I’m in prison. I love you and appreciate everything you’ve done for me, but it’s time I learn to live. I don’t know if this will blow up in my face or not, but I have to try. Please don’t come get me. My car is still there, and if things don’t work out, I’ll come back. I need to do this. ~Mel Disarming the security system is easy, but Jay will get an alert, so I have to move fast. I go out the back door and walk through the neighbors’ backyards until I get to the corner. My sweaty hand grips my bottle of mace. I wait behind some bushes until I see Mary pull up. I run across the street, and she screams when I tap on her window. Once the locks click, I rush around and hop in the front seat. “Thank you so much.” I close the door and turn around to wave at the baby. “Oh, my gosh, he’s gotten so big.” “He has.” “Thank you so much.” “Can I at least know the reason Jay is going to want to kill me?”

I hate lying, but I have to. Otherwise, she’ll turn the car around and call my brother. After a brief recap of the house situation (which she knew partly because Jay still talks to Brandon), I begin my fable. “I had a momentary freakout and begged Jay to pick me up. He came and got me, but now I want to go back. He’s so busy, but you know how protective he is.” She nods, seemingly satisfied with my story, and pulls away from the curb. Because Jay lives in such a good location, we’ll only be on the interstate for a couple of minutes. “This way I can go, and it’s not taking an entire day away—again—from the big case he’s working on. He knows I’m flying out; he just thought it was later tonight. He’s fine with it.” I can’t believe how convincing I sound. I hope she believes me. “Then why did I have to pick you up around the corner?” Nope, she doesn’t buy it. “His nosy neighbor, Ms. Sorenson, was out watering her plants, and if she saw me, I’d be stuck there forever.” “You’re lying, Mellie.” My eyes widen, but I say nothing. “It’s a guy, isn’t it?” I sigh, no point in continuing my façade. “Yes.” “He’s worth it?” My face heats up thinking about Smith. “Yes.” “Your brother’s going to hate me. Brandon’s gonna be pissed at me, too.” “I’m sorry.” And I am. I don’t want her to have anyone mad at her because of my foolishness. “He can keep you safe, right?” “He was Jay’s partner before Brandon.” “So yes, then?” She smiles. “Yes. Not only can he, but he makes me feel safe.” “I understand that.” A melancholy look crosses her face, but she quickly changes it into a smile. “Keep me updated and be safe.” “I will.” As we pull up to the drop-off, I jump out to close the door then lean into the car to grab my suitcase. “Thank you, Mary.” I jog inside and find my airline, check in, and go through security. By the time I make it through the line, I have just enough time to use the bathroom before I board. The flight to northern Wisconsin is only about an hour, and when I land, I turn my phone back on and find nothing. No texts and no missed calls. Nothing from Smith about the floor or tiles. Jay must be busy if he hasn’t even called to check on me. I suppose he figures I’m fine with a watchdog outside. I flag a taxi and have it drop me off at Smith’s house. A nervous rhythm assaults my heart beat, and my hands become sweaty again. I set my suitcase down. Knocking on his door, I’m met with silence. I peek into the house and see a couple of lamps on but nothing else. Since he doesn’t know I’m coming, I don’t expect him to be waiting for me. It’s already six at night, so I figured he’d be home by now, but he could still be keeping those long hours. I sit on the top step and wait for about a half hour before picking up my phone. I’m debating whether to call him, when a car turns into his driveway. A set of red stilettos, long legs, and a short skirt emerge. Long brown hair, curled to perfection, and breasts that sit so high they practically touch her chin. A pair of perfectly smoky eyes narrows at me. The nerves in my stomach sink even further, and tears burn behind my eyes, threatening to tell the tale of my utter embarrassment. “Do you need something?” she asks, stopping at the bottom of the stairs. Then it hits me. This is the woman he was getting into a cab with that night. The one he said he stopped seeing because of me. Apparently, I was easily replaced. I stand and try to form words, but I can’t seem to regain that particular function.

“Smith will be here soon, if that’s who you’re looking for. He’s running a few minutes behind.” She clicks her tongue, and she looks at my skinny jeans, off-the-shoulder sweatshirt, and hair in a messy bun before meeting my eyes again. “Can I give him a message?” I shake my head, and with as much dignity as I can, I walk down his driveway. As I turn down the sidewalk, I almost run into a garbage can. How could I be so fucking stupid? God, I’m an idiot. I grab my phone and call an Uber with what little battery life I have left. When they pull up a few minutes later, I give them the directions to the house. A worker might still be there or something. Hell, I’ll break a freaking window if I have to. My funds are dwindling, so I don’t have the money for a hotel right now. Besides, what else am I supposed to do? Call Jay and tell him I fucked up. Let my big brother lecture me on how stupid I am. How I have a madman after me, yet I put my life in danger. Ask him to borrow money so I can get a flight back home. When the car drops me off, I curse under my breath because clearly, no one is in the dark house. Shit, does the power even work? I need it, since my phone is dead. Thank God I thought to bring my charger. Frustration mounts, and I walk up the porch, only to remember what happened last time I was here. Oh, my God. I’m a damn moron. Norman is free and roaming around and wants to finish what he started. And here I stand like a sitting duck. Nobody knows where I am. Great. Just great, Mellie. I almost want to laugh at the situation, but fear prevents it. The neighbor pulls into the driveway and waves at me when she steps out of her vehicle. I halfheartedly return the greeting with a shaky hand. She walks over and scrunches her eyebrows at me. “Are you okay?” “Um…” “Do you need anything? Can I help you with something?” “I don’t know.” I need to get somewhere safe and then call Jay. He’s right. All the times he told me I needed him to protect me. He’s so right. “Why don’t you come over and have some water or something?” What other choice do I have? “Yeah, sure.” I briefly shake some of the haze away and follow her to her house. When the door swings open, I hesitate. I don’t know her... and her husband is scary, but I only saw one car in the driveway so I’m hoping he’s not home. My lungs slowly deflate as I gain courage. Once inside, I’m assaulted with dozens of pairs of glass eyes. Some matching, some missing, others the same color. Another mark to check off in my stupidity—going into a stranger’s house. “Sorry about the dolls. I know”—she leans in closer—“they creep me out, too.” “Umm…” Why does she have them if they creep her out? “They’re not mine.” That’s right; her husband gave off that creepy vibe. She’s pretty, and I know I shouldn’t judge, but she doesn’t seem like the kind of woman who would be with such a... dweeby, weird guy. “Your husband’s?” She closes the door and gives me the same confused look as before. “I don’t have a husband.” Am I losing it? “That man, though, with the glasses. He came over and said he was your husband?” The beep of a car startles me, and I jump. “That’s just Richard. But he doesn’t wear glasses.” When the door she just closed opens, a man comes through. “Hi,” the woman says. He doesn’t even look at her and makes a beeline upstairs. I swear he’s the same one who scared the shit out of me with the pliers. And here I am in his house. This fact reminds me why I’m here in the first place. “Sorry—” “Can I—” We both talk at the same time and laugh. “I just need to plug my phone in and make a call.”

“Of course. Have a seat.” She ushers me to the kitchen where I grab the charger from my purse then plug in my phone. I sit in an old worn-out wooden chair while she takes a bottle of water from the fridge. “I’m Polly, by the way.” “Mellie.” I smile. “So are you moving in next door? What’s going on with all the construction?” I explain how I inherited the house, and just as I’m finishing the story, Richard walks into the kitchen. He doesn’t acknowledge me but looks at Polly. “Did you forget to do something today?” She stares at him for a second and then frantically runs to the living room. “Shit, I’m sorry. I’ll go get it; the pharmacy is still open. Sorry, Mellie. Nice meeting you.” Before I escape with her, she slams the door, and I’m left alone with her... Richard. He’s leaning on the counter directly in front of my phone, and every molecule of my body is on alert. “Hi, umm, I just need my phone, and then I’ll be out of your hair.” “It’s okay; you can stay.” I swallow and try not to look into his eyes. I swear those are the same eyes. “Have we met before?” “No,” he snaps. “Can I have my phone, please?” He grabs it from the charger and powers it on. As soon as it chimes, indicating a message, he slides his finger across the screen. What a nutcase. I stand and reach out for it, but when he whips his head in my direction, I step back until I’m against the wall. His ominous expression is now one of anger. “Who’s Jay?” He holds up the phone and shakes it. “And Smith?” “Excuse me?” “Why are all of these men looking for you? They don’t know where you are, do they?” He drops the phone on the table and walks closer. My legs are the first thing to shake, then my stomach quivers, and my finger form a tight fist. He reaches up, and I squeeze my eyes shut, but when I feel the absence of his presence, I open them to see a fly between his fingers. “I don’t like insects.” He smooshes it between his fingers, and I gag a little in my mouth. “What’s the matter?” He tilts his head, and I shake mine. “Can you move so I can get my phone and leave, please?” Yep. Definitely the same guy as before. I have to look away from his beady, almost yellow eyes. “Please,” I whisper. I regret looking down, because now he’s rubbing his fingers together, turning the guts of the fly into liquid. “Not quite yet.”

Chapter 10 Smith

I pull into my driveway and wish I could just slam the door on Vivian. She’s the last person I want to see today or ever, really. She’s never been to my house before; I have no clue why she’s here now and don’t want to find out. I was looking forward to coming home to my empty house and drowning my sorrows in beer and a ridiculously fluffy cat. Mouse is my hostage. Mellie’s gotta miss her, so I know she’ll at least come back for her. My lame excuse about samples came to me last minute today. I have no fucking samples. I was standing in the kitchen, the first place I saw her, and was overwhelmed with the damn memories of her. So I grew a vagina and called her with a lie just to hear her voice. The man who assaulted her on the porch hasn’t been found. Jay’s convinced it’s this Norman guy, but from the description he gave me, I don’t think it was. This guy wasn’t as tall as Norman, which freaks me out even more. My urge to go get her and bring her back to protect her is so strong I’ve even driven south on more than one occasion. But if she’s comfortable and safe at Jay’s, then I’m not going to ruin that. Missing someone is a routine feeling for me. Feeling empty isn’t unusual. But being helpless over a woman… I’ve never experienced it before, and I fucking hate it. Life isn’t controllable. And until I met her, I thought I’d at least be able to control who I fell in love with. But she’s turned that theory to shit. When I get out of my truck, Vivian presses her body against mine, but I give her a small shove. “What do you want?” “It’s been a while, Smith.” “I know.” I close the door and cross my arms. If my words aren’t enough to show her how much I don’t want her, then this might help. I can’t be any more closed off than I am right now. She runs a finger down her chest and between her fake tits. “I miss you.” “God,” I groan. “I told you I didn’t want to see you again, Vivian. You’re a beautiful woman,” I lie. She’s fake and way too desperate. When I told Mellie I was questioning my morals, this is what I was talking about. Why the hell I thought it’d be a good idea to buy this woman dinner before I fucked her... I have no clue. But after the first time, I did it again. Then again. She was convenient. Nothing about Vivian has been enjoyable. Not her company, not her body, nothing. Even without Mellie, I would have ended it with her. I was going to do the right thing and do it face to face, but that stuff at the hotel happened with Mellie, so I ended up just calling Vivian to break it off. “I’m sure you won’t have trouble finding someone else.” “I don’t want anyone else.” I don’t even have time to deflect her before she grabs my dick through my jeans. “Stop, Vivian.” I uncross my arms to push her away again, but she drops to her knees and rips at my zipper. “Woman.” I don’t want to hurt her, so I try to pry her hands off me. Amidst the fumbling, she gets her hand into my jeans, and when she gets a hold of my dick, I lose it. “Get your fuckin’ hand off my dick before I hurt you.” She stops and looks up at me but doesn’t get to her feet. I grab her arm and yank it out of my pants. “But—” “But nothin’. Get the fuck outta here and reevaluate your life. Damn, woman, desperation doesn’t look good on you.” I zip my jeans again and wait for her to leave. Of course, she’s crying. “Stop with the tears.

If I just did that to you, I’d be in jail for assault. I told you from the beginning it would never be anything more. You agreed. Don’t make me seem like the villain here.” I can’t bring myself to feel sorry for her and I make my way to the inside door. “Wait. Smith.” Without turning around, I answer her. “What?” “Some girl was here earlier, but she took off when I told her I was waiting for you. She seemed really afraid.” That has my attention, and I turn on the toe of my boot. “What did she look like?” “Young, pretty... blonde hair.” It’s gotta be Mellie. What the hell is she doing here? A quick glance confirms her car is still parked in the other side of the garage. “What did she leave in? A cab?” Vivian has the nerve to look guilty. “She walked... or ran, more like it.” “Are you kidding?” I hiss. “You’d better hope to fucking Christ that nothing happened to her, since you chased her away like a catty bitch.” I yank my phone out of my pocket and dial Mellie, only for her phone to go straight to voicemail. “Fuck!” I scream and head to my truck. “Leave!” Vivian scurries away, and I hop in and reverse, squealing the tires as I peel out onto the street. I have no clue where else she could have gone besides the house, so I head there, all while calling her phone with no luck. I slam on my brakes as I veer into the driveway and run to the house. From what I can see from out here, it’s dark inside. “Fuck!” My fingers practically shake as I put the key in the lock. I know she still doesn’t have a key to the new door, but I need to check to be sure. “Mellie!” I run around the house and scream her name, as fear, frustration, and anxiety mix with my anger. I open every single door and cupboard looking for her. “Goddammit!” When I search every inch of the house and still find it empty, I go out back. A motion over to my left catches my eye, and through the window next door, I see her. Pressed against the wall, with a guy hovering over her. Smoke flies from underneath my boots, I’m running so fast to the house. I don’t knock but turn the knob, luckily finding it unlocked. Stepping inside, the freaky dolls make me do a double take. I continue to scan the area until I can see into the kitchen. He’s too close to her and has her caged in, so I can’t see her face. I only hear her soft whimpers, pleading with him to let her go, and as much as I’d love to let her know I’m here, I have to stay unnoticed. Stealthily, I creep up behind him, put him in a headlock, and bring him to the ground. He gasps for air as I flex my arm tighter around his neck. As he flails and grabs at my arm, I look at my Mellie. She’s still standing in the same place. “You okay?” Slowly, she nods. “Yes.” “He hurt you?” “No. Just scare—” “What are you doing? Stop! Let him go!” Out of nowhere, a woman charges at me, pounding on my back, and before I know it, Mellie is throwing herself at her. “Don’t hit him!” Mellie screams. If it were any other situation, my woman defending my honor would be a turn-on. She pushes the woman off me, and I finally release this bastard, tossing him face first into the cheap linoleum. I need to hold Mellie so she doesn’t hurt herself. My arms open the moment I stand up. “Come here.” Mellie rushes to me, and I wrap her up, keeping my eye on the other two people. The woman is on her hands and knees, helping the guy off the ground. “What the hell?” she screams at me. “Who are you? What is going on?” She supports the man as he tries to stand, and when he’s finally upright, I realize I recognize him. “You’re the fucker who was chasing her.” “There was a bug.” He shakes his head and coughs. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He

points at the woman next to him. “This is my friend Polly, and I’m Richard.” Mellie squeezes me tighter. “I thought the same thing,” she whispers. “Mellie, I already told you I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Richard states, and even through his gasps for breath, I hear the threat in his voice. She shivers, and I hold her a little tighter. “Come on, let’s go.” I’ll find out after we leave what happened and why she’s here. “I need my phone.” She walks a few steps away to get it off the counter but doesn’t let go of my hand. I’d handcuff myself to her if it would make her feel better. We walk toward the front door with Polly staring us down the entire way. “Don’t come back here, Mellie.” “She won’t be back. But Richard here isn’t getting any more warnings from me.” I stop at the threshold of the house and direct my attention at him. “You so much as look at her again, and I swear on all that is holy you will regret it. You get me?” His face remains impassive, but his fingers flex open and closed. Yeah. He knows I’m onto him. Sleazy bastard. I walk out after Mellie and lead her to my truck. “What the fuck is that?” I wipe some shit off my arm. “Probably fly guts.” Her soft voice confuses me. “What?” “He was smooshing it between his fingers.” “That’s disturbing. And gross.” I have a shit ton of questions, but the first one I need to know is, “Does Jay know where you are?” She bites her lip. “I left him a note and snuck out the back door.” I can’t even lecture her on how dangerous that was, because before we’re even out of the driveway, my phone rings. Jay’s name flashes on the screen, so I answer it via Bluetooth. “She’s with me.” “What the fuck!” he screams. Not a shout, or a yell, but a like goddamned megaphone. “Is she okay?” “I’m fine.” She speaks up before I can answer. “Mel. Shit. What the hell? You’d better start talking. Now!” I’m interested to see what she has to say, too. With an urgency to get out of this place, I pull onto the road to head home. I need to get her away from here and somewhere safe. Something’s not adding up, and I don’t like being unprepared or uninformed. “I, um, I wanted to come and get Mouse, and you’ve been busy, so I just flew up here and—” “You got on a fucking plane with a clinically insane man after you? Are you fucking stupid?” “Watch yourself, Jay.” I’m pissed at her, too, and he doesn’t even know what just happened with the neighbor… Even so, nobody talks to her like that. “Shit, shit,” he chants, then his voice is muffled before he clears his throat. “Sorry, Mellie. You know I don’t mean that. I’m just worried about you.” “I know.” She sniffs and wipes a tear from her face. “I shouldn’t have done it.” I place my hand on her thigh and squeeze it gently to offer support then glance over to find her staring at my hand. She sets her palm on the top of my hand and continues to talk. “I missed Mouse so much, and I just... I couldn’t go another day alone.” Some loud sound from Jay’s end echoes throughout the cabin of my truck. “I’ve gotta run. You got her, Smith?” “Yeah. I’ve got her.”

Chapter 11 Mellie

I can’t find it in myself to care about Jay right now. He’s worried and stressed, and I know I’m partly to blame. He’s busy. I get it. But if he’s going to drag me away from the person who’s saved me in more than one way and on more than one occasion, the least he could do is notice I’m missing a little earlier than seven hours later. My hand on Smith’s soothes me. His fingers gently kneading my thigh comfort me. And pulling up to his house makes me smile. I’ve missed my cat, I’ve missed his place... I’ve missed him. When he pulls into the garage and closes the big door, he waits until it’s all the way down before he faces me. A small illumination comes from a light somewhere in the garage, and though I can’t see the fine details of his handsome face, I notice the relief in it. He reaches out for me and threads a hand through my hair. I undo my seat belt and scoot closer to him. He copies my movements until we’re inches apart. I crawl over him so I’m straddling him, and when he opens his mouth to say something, I take the opportunity to slide my tongue against his. I immediately feel his bulge harden beneath me and can’t help but rub against it. This is what I’ve been missing, too. How being with him this way made every other thing go away. No memories, no threats, no insecurity. Only passion and a connection I always dreamed about. His hands are all over me now. Gently cupping my face, sliding down to my thighs where he roughly grabs them and pushes himself against me. He growls into my mouth, and I moan into his. His fingertips trace under my shirt and tease my nipples. Just when I think he’s going to do more, he pushes me away, panting. “God, I want you so much... but we need to talk.” Begrudgingly, I nod and try to hide the smile on my face. “I... I know, but…” After gently sliding out from under me, he holds out his hand to help me down from the truck. “Let’s go see Mouse. I need a fuckin’ beer, and you need to tell me what’s going on in that pretty head of yours. Because if we’re not on the same page…” He trails off and shakes his head. I close the door behind me and lean up on my tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek. “I’m pretty sure we are,” I whisper. I make my way around him and enter the kitchen to find a waiting Mouse talking at me. I bend down and pick her up. “Mousie! I missed you.” She purrs, and I hold her like she’s my lifeline. I rock back and forth with her, just as if she were a real baby. After several minutes, I set her down and head to the living room where I saw Smith go with a beer. I sit next to him on the couch and tuck my legs beneath me. I surprisingly don’t feel awkward anymore. The whole incident with the neighbor still has me freaked out, but the liberation I feel right now is unparalleled. He wants me. He said it. Out loud. To me. He takes a swallow of his beer, sets the bottle on the table, and turns to face me. His fingers tuck some stray hair behind my ear, tracing a path down the side of my face and over my lips before he finally drops his hand. “I’ve never—” “Police. Open up, Porter.” A banging on the door booms through the house, and I jump. Smith’s eyebrows draw together, and he gets up. “Stay here.” When I hear the door open, I can’t control my curiosity, and I get up to see what’s going on. Smith’s back is to me, but he’s shaking his head. I get closer just as a police officer steps in. He pulls out a pair of handcuffs as Smith puts his hands behind his back. “What’s going on?”

“I’m being arrested for assault.” He says it so casually, I’m afraid I misunderstood him. “You’re what?” I make my way to him just as the officer locks the metal rings on Smith’s wrists. “Listen to me, Mellie. Do not leave this house. No matter what. You hear me?” “Yes.” “Do you remember the security code?” He told me a while ago, but I remember the numbers. “Yes.” “Use it when they take me out of here. Don’t leave and don’t answer the door for anyone. If you get scared, don’t hesitate to call the police.” “Why are they arresting you? You didn’t do anything.” Smith leans closer and whispers, “Guns are in my nightstand, under the towels in the bathrooms, and in the silverware drawer, just in case.” Then he kisses my cheek. “I know somebody who will bail me out in less than an hour. I’ll be back soon, okay?” “You shouldn’t be getting arrested. You were protecting me!” “Shh, it’s okay. Just do what I said.” The police officer begins to Mirandize him, and I lose it. He can’t leave me. I just got him back. I grab Smith’s arm and try to pull him away. “No! You can’t take him!” “Baby, stop.” Smith tries to reason with me, just as another police officer steps inside. “Don’t you fucking touch her, Sanders.” His abrasive tone causes me to freeze. I turn to see the man in question walking toward me. “I won’t hurt her.” “You won’t put a goddamn finger on her,” Smith argues. “Look at me, Mellie.” I take my eyes off the cop, who’s backing away from me, and do what Smith says. “Trust me, all right? I’ll be back soon.” After that little display of power, I can only agree. I nod, and he kisses my forehead, leaving his lips to linger for a brief but noticeable moment. “Okay. But please hurry.” “I will. I promise.” I bite my lip and watch them walk out. After I lock the door, I set the alarm. When your brother is a police officer, you learn real fast about guns. I know how to use one but don’t feel comfortable because I’m always so freaking on edge. I’m afraid I’ll shoot the wrong person. Mouse is at my feet, and I pick her up before heading upstairs to Smith’s room. Once inside, I sit on his bed and decompress for a second. Jay can help me; he’d know what to do. He’s deep in a case, but I dial him anyway. When he doesn’t answer, I scroll through my contacts and realize I have nobody else to call. I literally have no friends. Mary is just an acquaintance, and aside from her and Brandon, the only other numbers in my phone are for the Chinese place and the electric company so I can call and pay my bill over the phone. I’m not sure what it is about that realization that hits me so hard, but it’s definitely an epiphany. Being with Smith, even in the short time I’ve known him, has changed me for the better. It’s given me a confidence boost I didn’t realize I needed. It’s been a weird and scary and stressful time since I got the house. Unanswered questions. Fearful moments. Unexpected revelations. My mind plays on a loop, and I can’t get out of my head the way Richard... or Dale, or whatever the hell his name is, looked. Was I overreacting? He didn’t hurt me. Didn’t threaten me. Just freaked me out. Then I remember why I was there in the first place and the woman who was waiting for Smith. I wonder how he found me. If he went looking for me or just saw me. I know Jay did not call him, so what gives? The events of the past couple of months finally catch up to me, and I curl into the fetal position. The moment I close my eyes I fall asleep from mental exhaustion.

Smith My knees bounce on the way to the station, and when we arrive, Sanders opens the back door for me. “Who’s the girl?” “None of your business.” He laughs and walks me inside, understanding that I clearly don’t want to make small talk. I get a few strange looks from people I know, while the others just say hi. Not only did I graduate from the police academy here, but I served on the force for a few years before I got transferred to Chicago. Plus, my father’s business is a staple in this community, so as much as I try to keep to myself, I can’t go anywhere without knowing someone. Sanders puts me in a holding cell and takes the cuffs off me. “I’ll call Gerald and see what I can do about getting these charges dropped.” I laugh humorlessly, knowing I probably won’t even be in here for an hour. “You do that.” About forty minutes later, Gerald Nelson, my dad’s best friend, who also happens to be the mayor, gives me a chin lift in acknowledgment while he waits for my release. He and I walk out wordlessly, and when we get to the curb, his limo is waiting. I get in first, and he sits across from me. The driver sits and buckles then asks where we’re going. “My place, Emilio. Thanks,” I tell him. Gerald presses a button, and when the partition closes all the way, he laughs. “Boy, I haven’t seen you in four months, and this is how it has to be?” “Sorry,” I apologize genuinely. “I’ve been busy.” “Me too. Being the mayor puts a damper on my social life.” I chuckle again, but he doesn’t laugh. “Care to tell me what happened?” When I raise my head, everything just comes out. Mellie’s house, her abuser, the neighbor. I vent to him about everything I apparently was holding in, and don’t even realize we’ve been sitting in my driveway. He steps out of the limo, and I follow him to my front porch step where he hands me a cigar. “You don’t have to do everything on your own all the time, you know?” “Yeah.” He exhales and twists the Cuban in his fingers. “Tell me about this Richard person.” “He’s either got multiple personalities or is a psychopath. Or both. I know who I saw.” “Is it safe for you to be working at the house next door?” “Yes. I’m not worried about me.” I crack my neck and puff on the cigar for a minute. “She’ll never be alone. But it still doesn’t make me feel better, because the guy’s certifiable.” “I’ll look into him.” “Appreciate it.” “What are you going to do?” “Flip it and make sure to stay far away so I don’t kill the son of a bitch.” “No, Smith.” He waits for me to look at him then nods toward the house. “What are you going to do?” I don’t do feelings. I stay far away from emotions. I refuse to get involved with people. He knows this. He’s tried. If anyone was there for me after my family’s death, he was. He was a witness to the selfdestruction I bestowed upon myself the weeks and months after. He pulled, but I pushed harder. Nine months later, I came to my senses, and after my intense grieving, I contacted him. Now, I see him a couple of times a year and sometimes around town. My father would be pissed at me for kicking him out of my life. They were best friends. According to my mom, when she first met them, she thought they were gay. Bromance wasn’t a term back then, but apparently, they had one in the day. “I don’t want to love anyone,” I confess. “You love her?”

Yes. “I don’t know.” “What do you know?” I shrug. “She’s not even mine, but I know I don’t want to lose her.” “I see.” He puts out his cigar and stands. “If you don’t take the risk, son, you do realize you’ve already lost her, right?” “Yeah.” He squeezes my shoulder and walks to his limo, stopping before he gets in. “I’ll touch base with what I find on Richard.” “Thanks.” I watch his car until the taillights fade and I twirl the now unlit cigar. Before I got arrested tonight, I was about to tell her how I felt. The fact we have to be on the same page hasn’t changed, because if she doesn’t feel the way I do, I don’t think I can have her in my house anymore. I tortured myself when she was here, knowing I may have had a chance, but I’ll be damned if I do it knowing the outcome isn’t what I’ve been dreaming about. A raindrop lands on my hand, and I look up at the dark sky. A flash of vertical lightning illuminates the clouds, giving off an eerie purple tint. I can’t be out here. After making my way inside, I reset the alarm and toe off my shoes before doing a walkthrough of the house. I make sure the windows are all locked behind the curtains, that the door leading to the garage is secured, and that my Glock is still accessible. I begin to head upstairs and a jolt of lightning shakes the house. I grip the railing and wait for the tremors to stop in the house and in my legs. Once upstairs, I open the guest room door but find her bed empty. My stomach drops, and I rush to my room, practically colliding with the closed door. I never close my door. Assuming and fucking praying she’s in here, I quietly turn the handle and release the breath I was holding when I see her. Her soft hair rests on the pillow, and she’s pulled the covers so high I can barely see her face. When I step closer, Mouse looks at me from beside her, yawns, then falls back asleep. If it wouldn’t be so creepy, I’d just stand here and watch Mellie sleep. Soak up the beauty of her. But she already has two motherfuckers who’d love to take my place, and if I’m going to protect her from them, I need to be alert. The house rattles again from an explosive clap of thunder outside. I guess I’ll have to survive on energy drinks and adrenaline tomorrow, because I won’t be getting any sleep tonight. Silently, I undress down to my boxers and slide under the covers next to her. I’m not questioning why she’s in here or if this is the right thing to do. Sometimes going with your gut is the only way, and my gut is telling me I need to be in this bed with her. When a lightning strike flashes outside, I close my eyes and try my best to block out the storm brewing. The thought of losing Mellie terrifies the absolute piss out of me. But before her, the only thing I was scared of was storms. My house is secluded and safe; no way could a tree ever fall on my roof and kill me the same way it did my family. The whistling of the wind mocks me and reduces me to the likes of a little boy afraid of the dark. A deafening boom closely follows another flash of lightning. My heart pounds to get away and fear claws at me so hard I feel like my skin is about to rip open. I try my best to push it away, but it’s pointless. Instead, I stare at the ceiling and wait for the torture to end.

Chapter 12 Mellie

I know exactly where I am when I wake up. I know who’s next to me, warming my back. And I can’t remember a time I had a smile on my face this early in the morning. Needing to see him, I roll to my other side. He’s sleeping, but his eyebrows are drawn together in an almost painful way. My fingers itch to touch him, to pull myself closer to him. I desperately want to be brazen and tuck myself against him and just stay here all day, but I don’t even know if he’s happy that I’m in his bed. He stretches and kicks some covers off, so the top of his chest is showing. The metal bars sticking through his nipples taunt me. I never thought they’d be hot on a guy, but seeing them close makes my mouth water. “Morning, sunshine.” I had no idea he was awake. My face flames knowing he saw me ogling him. “Good morning. I didn’t hear you come back, how did you get out?” Grabbing my hand, he gives me a tug so I’m closer to him. “I know the mayor. The charges were bogus; you and I know both know it.” “Yeah, definitely.” I drape my arm over his chest and fist my hand to prevent myself from raking my nails into his chest. Gosh, what has gotten into me? I never have thoughts like this... not even in a fantasy, let alone with a real person. “I didn’t hear you come home last night.” He quirks an eyebrow, and I backtrack. I sound like a stagefive clinger. “I mean. Here. To your house. I didn’t hear you come into your house last night.” “We never did have that talk yesterday.” He tosses the rest of the covers away. Mouse jumps off the bed and saunters out of the room. Holy mother of everything. He’s in nothing but a pair of black boxer briefs. Every long, thick inch of him is outlined. I can’t stop staring at it. He does something that makes it twitch, and I choke on an inhale. My cheeks flame, and when he puts a hand under my chin to tilt my head up, I jerk out of it. “It’s okay, Mellie.” “I should go make breakfast.” A weak attempt to get up proves impossible when he tosses a leg over mine and pulls me into his arms. And then what do I do? Look right at it. I can’t stop staring at his penis. “You wanna touch it, baby?” My mouth is suddenly full of cotton, and I lick my lips. “This is what I was talking about when I said we need to make sure we’re on the same page. Because if you want me even half as bad as I want you, I need to know. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or make assumptions, but I’m not going to lie.” He flexes his arms around me. “I want nothing more right now than for you to touch me.” “I do. I mean, you do?” I assumed as much. But hearing words helps. “Hell, yes. Christ, Mellie. I can’t get you outta my damn head. It’s more than I ever wanted to feel for someone, but it fuckin’ happened, and I can’t stop it.” “Really?” “Yes, really.” He sits up, and I finally look away from the snake in his boxers. He leans closer and rests his forehead on mine. “I’m fallin’ so damn hard for you.” Instead of replying with some stupid remark or question, I sit here like a damn guppy, my mouth

hanging open and wide eyes just staring at him. “And I know we have a lot of unconventional and difficult situations under our belt, but I’d like to change that. I’d like to add more happy times. When we spent the day together, just wandering around, it was one of the best days I can remember in years. I want more of those. I’d like to stop avoiding it and have you just be mine already.” “You would?” “I would.” He chuckles. “But I need to know that we understand each other and that you want this, want me, as much as I do you… I don’t do this, Mellie.” He motions between us. “I’ve been alone for a very long time for good reason, but I can’t help what you do to me.” Two things happen at once. One, I realize his harsh personality and standoffish demeanor comes from a place of pain. I see it in his eyes. I want to know what it is so I can fix it. I’ll have to get it out of him later. But two, and more importantly… “What about that woman, Smith?” “Who?” I roll my eyes. “Don’t play coy.” “I’m not. Who are you talk— Oh. Vivian. The one who told you she was waiting for me?” “Yeah, her. Doesn’t seem you’ve been alone as much as you say.” I even put some sass in my tone, and he grins. “I haven’t touched her since I laid eyes on you.” “Hmm.” I try to push off him, but he won’t let me. “Let me go.” “What’s with the attitude?” “Oh nothing, just that you’re a liar.” I struggle more, but he doesn’t even budge. “Excuse me?” “I forgot about it until just now. But that woman, Vivian,” I say with distaste. Even her name is snobby. “I saw you with her the first night I was here, and that was after you laid eyes on me.” He looks at me with confusion, and then slowly closes his eyes. “You don’t need to worry about me ever lying to you, okay? Just ask me instead of playing games.” “I’m not playing games. Let me go.” I wiggle, and before I know it, I’m on my back, and he’s hovering above me. “I was going to, but I didn’t, okay? The cab pulled up to her place, and I never got out with her,” he whispers. “All I could think about was you. And how when we drove by, I saw you, and I felt guilty for being with someone else. It gutted me, because... I could have sworn you looked just as shitty as I felt.” He remembers. And he noticed that? “I was.” “Why?” He runs his nose along my jaw. “Why, baby?” “Because I didn’t want you to be with someone else.” “Who did you want me to be with?” I exhale a shaky breath. “Me.” “Good thing that’s what I want too.” He presses a kiss to my cheek. “She means nothing. And she wasn’t waiting for me. I promise. The only woman I want is you.” “I want you, too. But I’m nervous.” “Why?” I hesitate, and he rolls over to his back again. I cuddle up to him, throw my leg over his, and place my hand on his chest. It’s like he knows I don’t want to look into his eyes; he understands me. “Why?” he repeats. “You know why, and since then, I haven’t…” My words trail off, and he strokes my hair. “It’s not all about sex, sunshine. Of course, I want to be inside you more than my next breath, but I understand you’ve got some... uncertainty about things. I promise that I’ll take things as fast or as slow as you want, if you just promise to trust me to take care of you. Promise me you’ll talk to me and please,

don’t leave me.” I nod against his chest and love that the tears I’m blinking away are happy ones. I can’t remember the last time I cried tears of joy. Is it possible to fall in love with someone this quickly? I know that I’m attracted to him and that he makes me feel safe. I want to do things with him I’ve never done before because I was too afraid. I flew on a plane by myself just to see him again. I took risks I never thought I would have the courage to do. Hell yes, it’s possible... because I’m already in love with him. He kisses the top of my head, and we lie like this for a while. I absentmindedly glance at the bulge in his underwear again, and since his nipples are at eye level, I can’t help but play with them. I muster up the courage to slide my hand over to his left pec and gently run a fingertip down until it connects with the metal bar. A small grunt leaves his lips, and I sit up a little, leaning on my left arm and using my right hand to trace every indentation of his stomach. Each curve. Every nook. The muscles that flex when my skin ghosts over his. I look at him as I continue south but stop at the waistband. “Can I still touch… you?” “You are touching me.” My face flames, and I hesitate, then point. “My cock, baby. You can say it.” “Can I touch your... your cock?” I suddenly remember the books I edit. Deciding to pull motivation from them, I feel a surge of power. Cock. Why is it so hard to say out loud? Hard. A giggle escapes me. “You laughin’ at my dick, babe?” “No, God no. I just.” I regain my composure and go for it. “Can I still touch your big, long, thick cock?” I tried to lighten the mood and over exaggerate, but he didn’t catch my drift. “Fuck, yes,” he moans through clenched teeth. I lightly trace a fingernail over the material constricting him, and his hips shoot off the bed. I do it again, circling the metal loop in the tip, and earn a growl. Biting my lip, I reach inside and wrap my fingers all the way around it. He really is big, long, and thick. He growls again as I grip him harder. “You’re killing me, baby.” Sweat actually forms on his chest, and I notice his hands fisting the sheets. He sits up a little, and I’m not sure if I should move my hand with him or not. I hold on because frankly, I like how it feels. It’s so soft and hard but smooth. A sexy contradiction. I pause when a bit of moisture grazes my finger and I trace it up to the tip where I rub it around. “You’ve gotta stop, Mellie.” Oh no, shit. “I’m sorry.” I start to scoot out of bed. I don’t think I’ve ever been more embarrassed in my life. He grabs my arm even though I try to fight my way out of his grip. It’d be good if the bed would just swallow me whole. Ugh, this sucks. “Where do you think you’re going?” He sounds genuinely surprised, and I want to slap him. Oh yeah, I’m just going to stick around when you tell me to stop touching you ’cause I’m doing it so badly. I shake my head and somehow end up flying through the air. I squeal and squeeze my eyes closed, afraid of watching myself collide with something. But instead of that happening, a memory foam pillow cushions my head, and when I open my eyes, he’s hovering above me again. I feel my eyes well with tears and can’t help when the tears fall out. “Why do you keep doing this to me?” The hardened features of his face soften, and he licks his lips. “Your hand on me was incredible.” “Why did you tell me to stop then?” “Because if you kept doing what you were, I was gonna come in my underwear. Something I haven’t done since I was thirteen and stole a swimsuit catalog from my mom.” I can’t help the laughter that bubbles out of me, hearing him joke around when I’m so vulnerable. He smiles, likely happy with the result of his story.

“Before you go doing things to me that will make me lock you in this room so I can explore you for days, so I can taste every part of you, so I can make love to you so many times we pass out from exhaustion, I should show you how good it can be. When you touch me... I’m just afraid I won’t be able to control myself.” At my nervous expression, he regresses. “No. No, I’d never, fucking never, hurt you. But I don’t want to take things too far when you’re not ready. And for me to know when you’re ready, I have to know your body.” He rubs his thumb across my lip, slides it down between my breasts and circles it around one of my nipples. “I need to know what sounds you make when you’re turned on. I need to make sure that when we’re together, you feel safe enough to let yourself go.” I barely manage to swallow. “I do feel safe with you. It’s part of the reason I came back here.” “Yeah?” He watches his hands as they explore over my shirt. Even through the material, I feel his rough fingers gliding over my hardened nipples. A shiver runs through me. “What are the other reasons?” “Mouse,” I tease. “Hmm…” His lips twitch. “Anything else?” “No.” “No?” I wait until he brings his eyes back to me. “I missed you.” “Missed you too, baby.” I can’t continue with the banter anymore, because he rolls a nipple between his fingers, and I moan in frustration. I even pull back to get a little friction between my legs to ease the ache. “Do you want me to stop? What’s wrong?” Smith asks with concern. He removes his hands, and that frustrates me even more. Ugh, I work with words for a living, yet I can’t tell him what I want. Why am I such a girl? “Nothing,” I lie. How do I say I’m so horny I can barely breathe? “Just like that.” “What?” “I wouldn’t want you to stop breathin’ on me now.” He smirks, then his eyes glaze over with desire. “Get on your back.” “I said that out loud?” “Yes, and you have no idea what it does to me.” “Oh God,” I breathe out. “Lie all the way down, Mellie. Let me make you feel good.” I fall to my back, and as I’m about to hit the mattress, my shirt is torn off. Smith tosses it onto the ground. He takes the rest of my clothes off and gives me a hard kiss, winding his fingers in my hair. “If you want me to stop. Ever. At any fuckin’ time. Tell me. This won’t work if you don’t tell me what you want.” I nod. “Tell me, Mellie. I need to hear the words.” “I’ll tell you.” “Good girl.” He kisses my nose, then my jaw, and then my collarbone. He trails his tongue down between my breasts and around my navel. When he continues torturing my bare breasts, I squirm beneath him. “I’ll pay more attention to these later.” His warm breath hits my already wet center, and I shiver. Oh man. “God, you’re so fuckin’ pretty down here.” His thumbs separate me, and he takes one swipe with his tongue around my clit. “Fuck. Mmm,” he hums at the same time I moan, “Oh, God.” His long finger slides into me effortlessly, and I feel myself clenching around him. “You good?” “Yes, more than. Please don’t stop.”

He slides his finger out and circles my opening again, then pushes two fingers back in. He does it again so damn slow I swear I’m about to break down. “Smith,” I whine. “Not fun being teased, is it?” He smiles up at me. “Please.” “Okay, baby.” His mouth descends at the same time he pumps his fingers harder and faster, finally holding them in and curling them as he flicks my clit rapidly with his tongue. Oh, my God. Oh, my GOD! “Smith.” I scream his name and he holds my belly down with one hand while he continues licking and sucking at my throbbing center. Every inch, no centimeter… molecule probably, of my body tingles with a pleasure I didn’t even know existed. Somewhere during the allconsuming orgasm that ripped through me with no warning, I grabbed his hair. My fingers tug and flex against his scalp with the pulses of his fingers inside me. I slowly come down from the absolute best sensation I’ve ever felt in my life. His body heat suddenly vanishes, and he curses. I open my eyes and am mortified at what I see. I thought I was embarrassed before. That was nothing. He holds his bloody fingers up. “I thought… I mean. Jay said…” He shakes his head in confusion. My bliss dulls until it shifts to regret, and I sit up, wrapping the sheet around me as if it’ll protect me from the truth. “There’s more than one way to be…” I trail off, trying to think of the right word, the correct way to adequately describe the moment I was shown how cold the world really was. I force the word from my lips, but it comes out barely a whisper. “Violated.”

Chapter 13 Smith

She continues speaking, and I can barely comprehend what she’s saying through the dark fog surrounding me. “I was on my stomach the whole time, so there was only one part of my body that he abused. If Jay hadn’t come in my room, though…” Her shoulders shrug, and through my haze, I see her embarrassment. “I’ll be… Just hold on a sec.” Instead of using the bathroom attached to my room, I jog downstairs and close the door. My shaky hands rest on the countertop, and I take a few deep breaths to calm myself down. As I’m washing my hands, visions of what she just told me rip through my skin and settle deep in my gut, forcing me to face the reality of what she endured. My feet slip on the rug as I lunge for the toilet and dry heave into it. Good thing I haven’t eaten yet today. I never thought... not that it makes it better, but I didn’t... fuck. If anything, it makes it worse. I can’t stop picturing her pressed down with some motherfucker—shit. I heave again and spit into the bowl. When I finally compose myself enough to go back to her, she’s not in bed. I grab my cell and throw on a pair of shorts and a tee since I’m in here. The pipes screech and I go back in the hall and test the knob on the bathroom door. Locked. I knock, but she doesn’t answer. “Mellie, sunshine, open up.” I can barely hear anything over the water, so when the door does open, I’m surprised. “I had no idea. I’m sorry, I just needed a minute. The thought of it alone... then knowing. Shit, I can’t stomach that you—” I just stop talking, because the more I do, the more tears well in her eyes. “Yeah, well, I’m trying to move on, and it’s probably good that you know now, so you’re not disappointed when you find out there are certain things I will never ever do.” I step back, a little pissed off that she thinks so low of me that I’d be disappointed in her for that. Before I can say anything, she continues. “I understand it’s a turn off, and you probably—” “I want you to shut up and listen to what I’m about to say.” Enough of this shit. Her mouth snaps shut; she swallows loudly and then presses her lips together. “There ain’t a damn thing, nothing,”—I emphasize. She really needs to hear me on this—“that you could tell me that would change the way I feel about you. Do you get me? I fell for you the moment I saw you... and I’ve never had that kind of reaction to anyone in my life. And getting to know you, seeing you smile and laugh, that is what I care about. Everything else is trivial, Mellie. But this doubt you seem to have about me needs to end.” “I’m sorry,” she whispers. “I don’t want you to apologize. I only want you to trust me. I want you to be happy. You were the one who came back to me, right?” I continue without giving her the chance to answer. “We didn’t even have to confess how we felt out loud for you to come back, because it’s so fuckin’ deep we didn’t need the words. But now we have them, right? So there doesn’t need to be doubt. You’ve just gotta trust that, trust me to take care of you and make you happy.” “Okay.” Her voice stronger now, she nods. “Okay.” “Good. All right.” I kiss her nose. “Take a shower, and I’ll make breakfast.” “I’ll be down shortly.” Before I can respond, she closes the door, and I walk downstairs to make breakfast. “Shit,” I mumble to myself. I forgot to ask her how she liked her eggs. I’m about to knock on the door, hoping to catch her before she gets in the shower, but her cries stop me. Instead of barging in and pulling her into my arms like I want to, I lean my forehead against the door. She shouldn’t have to be alone, and

even though she doesn’t know I’m here with her—for her—she’ll soon learn what unconditional means. When her sobs subside after a few minutes and I hear the shower curtain slide open, I go to the kitchen. I put some bacon on a sheet and set it in the oven. My phone rings just as I’m about to start scrambling the eggs. “Yeah?” “Please tell me she’s still okay?” asks Jay, practically panting. “Yeah, bud. I’ve got her.” “Smith. This case… God, this is fuckin’ brutal. One of my men turned out to be a goddamned traitor and…” He doesn’t finish his sentence. “I have never, ever let Mel down, and the fact that I did is doing shit to me, man. If something happens to her again, I don’t know what the fuck I’d do.” “She’s okay.” I leave out the part about last night, because he’s obviously stressed as hell and I don’t need to add to it. The last thing I want to do is give him another reason to lose focus on his case. Plus, I’m taking care of it. She’s not his responsibility anymore. She’s mine. “What’s going on with you two? My sister is not the kind of person who risks danger to fly to a man she barely knows.” “Can’t explain it, bro.” I crack some eggs and begin scrambling them in the bowl. “Just… I don’t want to give the big brother speech, but please don’t hurt her. She’s been through enough.” I respect him and his lecture, and I wait for him to finish. If my sister were still alive, I’d be the same way. “I won’t.” “You might not intentionally, but she’s... very naïve, Smith. I don’t want to make her seem like an invalid or anything, but after it happened, she completely changed. She used to be so full of life and was funny as hell, but her outgoing personality just... left her. I mean, she wasn’t even the same person. She was diagnosed with agoraphobia, did you know that?” “No, I didn’t.” “She didn’t leave her room for six months unless it was to pee. Then she went from only showering once a month during that time to showering four, five, sometimes six times a day. She didn’t get her GED until she was twenty, man.” Standing there with the bowl in my hand, I stop stirring and swallow the bile in my throat. “Jesus.” “The past year has been great. The year before that was good. She finally moved out of my place—not that I kicked her out or anything. She just woke up one morning and said she wanted to. She’s twenty-two, but in a lot of ways, she’s still a sixteen-year-old girl who was raped by a forty-two-year-old man.” I set the bowl down and sit on a stool. “I don’t see the girl you’re talking about, Jay.” I think about her bright smile when she walked across the street with a bunch of sandwiches. I think about her face when she lets go. I think about how good she feels in my arms, my bed, and my life. “I see a woman who is scared, no doubt. But I don’t see someone who’s so afraid she doesn’t want to live her life. If anything, she’s trying to live now more than ever, and I want to be the man by her side when she discovers herself again.” “He’s a fucking monster. I don’t know how the goddamned legal system failed on this, but he’s still out there. And I don’t have a doubt in my mind that he wants to finish what he started.” “He won’t.” “He’s going to try.” “I won’t let him,” I practically growl. “He’s smart, Smith. Really fucking smart.” Jay lets out a large breath. “I can’t find him. He’s gone. Just vanished. He’s coming for her, man. I promise you that.” The pitter-patter of her bare feet makes me turn around, and it takes everything in me not to crush her against me and never let her go. She smiles. Her hair is slightly darker from the wetness and her cheeks

flushed from the shower. “I’ve gotta go.” “Tell my sister I said hi.” He chuckles. “As soon as I wrap up here, I’ll come up and we’ll figure out what she’s going to do.” “Not anything to figure out.” She’s staying with me. He hesitates, and after a beat, he clears his throat. “We’ll talk.” “Whatever. But I already know the outcome, so unless you want to piss her off more than you already did a week and a half ago, I suggest bringing her stuff when you come up.” Mellie’s eyes widen. I walk up to her and run a finger along her jawline. “She’s not going back there.” “Smith, man. You can’t—” “I can.” He waits for a beat. “Fuck. You love her or some shit, don’t you?” “Yeah. I do.” The fact that I don’t hesitate makes him curse, but my focus on our conversation is long gone. “Later.” I hang up the phone and toss it onto the counter. “Feeling better?” I ask her. “Was that Jay?” “Yeah.” “What did he want?” “To tell me that when he’s done with his case, he’s going to come up here and talk to you about what you want to do.” “Oh.” She licks her lips but doesn’t take her eyes off mine. “And what did you tell him?” “You heard what I told him. But Mellie, if this isn’t what you want, then you need to tell me.” “Is it weird that I don’t have any doubts that this is what I want?” She reaches up and places her hand on my chest. “That you’re what I want?” “No. Not at all, because there’s not a doubt in my mind that you’re exactly what I want.” This morning is getting a little too heavy. I don’t want to start it off talking about Jay’s concerns or warnings. “Sit. I’ll finish breakfast.” I back away and pull out a chair at the table, finish the eggs, and pull the bacon out of the oven. She sits, and Mouse jumps up on her lap. “So I thought maybe you could come with me when I go to the house on Monday.” “Yeah? I never did get to see the inside…” She trails off, and I can practically see her reliving what happened on the porch. “I do have some stuff to ask you about, so maybe you can just bring your laptop and work there, so you’re available if I need you.” “Yeah, sure. That’s fine.” Dammit. She’s already closing down because of that fucking memory. I plate our breakfast, pour some juice, and then sit across from her. “Thank you.” “No problem.” “Um, do you have any syrup?” I raise my brows in confusion. “I like syrup on my eggs. And on my bacon.” “That’s disgusting. You know that, right?” She laughs. “It is not. It’s really good.” I get up and grab the syrup for her. When she takes a bite of syrup covered eggs, I cringe. “It’s so good,” she says, scooping up another bite and holding it out for me. “Here, try it.” I lean forward and slide the eggs off her fork, gagging when the taste hits my tongue. “Nope. Disgusting.” Somehow, I manage to swallow the whole bite. I take a large drink of OJ to wash it down.

“It’s not that bad,” Mellie argues. “Yeah, sunshine, it is.” “Why do you call me that? Is it because of my blonde hair?” “Partly,” I tell her. “But mainly because when I look at you, I see so much light.” The only light I’ve seen in years. A shy smile floats across her face as she looks down, and we both continue eating. Once we finish, she insists on cleaning up, so I head upstairs and take a quick shower. By the time I make it back down, she’s cuddled on the couch with Mouse, searching through the channels. “Hey.” She leans her head back and smiles at me. “Hey.” “Did you have anything you wanted to do today?” “Nah,” I shrug. “We can just hang out.” “Cool.” When I sit next to her, Mouse jumps down, so I pull Mellie’s feet onto my lap. She wordlessly flips through the stations until she lands on HGTV. “Oh, I love this show.” The Property Brothers come on and I groan internally. Nothing is worse than watching work crap when I’m not at work. I suffer through it, but learn a lot about what she likes and dislikes about decorating a house. Images of us painting a nursery room flash through my mind and it doesn’t freak me out. At all. We watch about three episodes before I order pizza for lunch. When it comes, she asks for ranch dressing. “Why?” “To dip my pizza in.” I grab the bottle for her and set it on the kitchen counter next to her plate, shaking my head. “I’ve gotta know what the hell other disgusting combinations you’re into.” “This is not disgusting.” She makes a show of scooping the dressing onto her pizza before she takes a bite. “We’re from the Midwest; we put ranch on everything, and I’m ashamed for you that you don’t.” “You’re ruining perfectly good food.” “Not ruining. Enhancing.” “Whatever.” I chuckle. “You always make a really good dinner, so this revelation is shocking.” “What? That I have discovered how to have a food explosion in my mouth?” I love this carefree side to her. “Are you one of those chicks who dips your fries in ice cream, too?” She gasps. “You don’t?” “No!” I laugh and reach for another slice of pizza. “What else? What other monstrosities do you choose to ruin perfectly good food with?” “Okay. Let’s see. I dip my pickles in ketchup.” She holds up her fingers to count them off. “Potato chips on my peanut butter sandwich. Or pickles instead of the chips. Cinnamon sugar on a bologna sandwich. But you have to use butter. I put salt on cantaloupe. And sometimes, I’ll put chocolate syrup in my Coke.” As I stare at her in disbelief, I can’t help the churning in my stomach. Those combinations are sickening. I set the rest of my pizza down and shake my head. “That is terrifying.” “What?” She laughs. “I’m suddenly full.” “Stop! I swear it’s not as bad as it sounds. Have you ever even tried any of them?” “I was forced to try syrup and eggs this morning.” She shakes her head and licks some dressing off her thumb. “Okay. I’ll admit some of them might be a bit... unusual. But I swear the fries in ice cream is the best.” “Doubtful,” I mumble. She stands and puts the rest of the pizza in the fridge. “Let’s go.”

“Where?” “To get some fries and ice cream. A Frosty, preferably.” “Girl. You’re nuts.” I huff as I stand but grab my keys and wallet anyway. “Let’s get this over with.”

Chapter 14 Mellie

When he licks his lips, it does funny things to my belly. “Good, right?” He wipes his fingers on a napkin and tosses it on the table. “So good.” “Yes!” I throw my hands in the air and squeal. “I knew you’d love it.” The smile he’s trying to hide makes me laugh even harder. He steals some of my fries since he devoured his dipping them in his Frosty. “I wouldn’t go that far.” I wipe the salt off my fingertips and grab my trash to throw it in the garbage can. “I’ll be right back.” As I head to the restroom, I have to force the smile from my face. That just looks weird walking into the bathroom. By the time I get out, Smith is waiting for me right outside the door. He’s talking on the phone, and the call doesn’t seem to be going well. “Yeah. Thanks.” He hangs up and grabs my hand. “What’s wrong?” It isn’t until we get in his truck and are headed back to his place that he talks again. “That was Gerald.” My look must convey that I don’t know who he’s talking about. “Family friend. The mayor.” “Oh, okay.” “Seems our neighbor friend has decided to head out of town for business.” “Oh… Well, that’s good, right?” “Yeah. He dropped the charges before he flew out.” Why does he seem so mad still? “Did we overreact last night or something?” “No. That guy’s a creep.” “But he—” “Don’t try to make it seem like what he did to you was okay. He had you cornered, and he can say he’s not, but I know he was that same Dale fucker as before. He’s gone now, and that’s good, but he’s still a creep who won’t be coming near you again.” He takes a breath. “I’m going to get this house done, and you’re going to sell it and wash your hands of it. For now, just trust me when I say he’s not going to get anywhere near you, okay? Especially since that Polly woman is there and gives me the finger every time she sees me. So it’s more than just him.” I’m not surprised that she’s angry with Smith. “But unless you have somebody following him twentyfour-seven, that’s not going to happen. You can’t guarantee anything.” He doesn’t answer, pressing his lips together instead. “Oh, my God. You did. You’re having someone follow him, aren’t you?” “Just trust me to take care of you, okay?” I close my mouth and stay silent for the rest of the way back to his house. Part of me is sick of being ‘taken care of,’ but the other part really likes that Smith is the one doing it. Maybe because it’s not my brother. I don’t know. Hell, I don’t know anything right now. That’s not completely true. I know that when I’m with Smith, or even thinking about him, he makes me forget I need to be more cautious. I’ve been focusing on him and being careless. I guess that’s what happens when you fall in love... nothing else exists. He takes away the pain. He gives me hope. But also, I know that I’m sick and tired of being on edge. I’m pissed that this has become my life and

when I finally find a man who I want to be around, he’s gotta be on guard, too. The anger that I haven’t felt in a while is surfacing, and that is pissing me off, too. When we get home, I go right to the liquor cabinet, pour a glass of rum, add a splash of Coke in it, then head to sit on the couch. He comes into the living room after running upstairs for something. “What the hell did I ever do? I have two creepos I need to be afraid of, and I didn’t even do anything!” Smith sits next to me and pulls me close, his arm wrapped around my shoulder. “You don’t need to be afraid.” “You make me forget about them, but you can’t protect me from—” “I can, and I will.” He interrupts me. “I will.” The alcohol burns a little as it slides down my throat, but I love it. I’m feeling lighter and lighter as the minutes pass. My face heats up, and I slam the rest of it. Smith takes the glass and sets it on the coffee table in front of me. “He worked at the apartment building doing maintenance. I saw him often, but it started to become more frequent as time went on. I didn’t think much of it, at first. But hindsight and all that. “Jay left me alone a lot when he worked, which was fine. I was perfectly capable of taking care of myself. Our parents died when I was thirteen, and Jay was twenty-two. He did such a good job raising me, but he always treated me like the thirteen-year-old girl I was when he took custody of me. In fact, before he left for work that afternoon, we got into an argument. I wanted a later curfew since I was turning seventeen the next day, but he wouldn’t budge. I went to school, I worked, and I paid my car payment.” I was always stubbornly independent. Too much for my own good. “That night, I got home from a date at eleven thirty and went right to bed. I heard a noise in the other room and thought it was Jay, so I didn’t even look up when my bedroom door opened. Norman pinned me down and put a gag in my mouth before I even knew what was happening. I did try to fight, but I couldn’t move. He kept telling me to stop crying, saying he didn’t want to hurt me.” “I’m so sorry, Mellie.” “When I heard Jay come home umm… during it, I thought he’d come to my room right away to check on me like usual, but he finally gave me the space I’d fought for. He took a shower, probably watched the news or something, too. That gave Norman enough time to... umm, do it again.” I laugh. “I always gave Jay shit for treating me like I was a kid, but the one time I wanted him to, he didn’t check on me. I even heard him close his bedroom door. I honestly thought I was going to die that night. I couldn’t scream, and the more I pleaded through the gag, the more he hurt me. I was chanting in my head, begging him to stop even though I knew he couldn’t hear me. The nightstand was so close to me, and I thought if I could just try to knock it over and make some noise, then surely Jay would come in, because I didn’t want to die.” “It makes so much sense now.” Smith’s soft tone interrupts my thoughts. “What does?” “Sorry, I was just thinking out loud.” “About what?” He kisses the top of my head. “Nothing, baby.” I don’t know why I even told him this, but now that I started, I wanted to get it out. I needed to get it over with, especially since the shadow of him is looming around somewhere. I’d like Smith to understand me a little better. Damn liquid courage. “Well, I wiggled relentlessly and finally whipped my head over hard enough to make the lamp fall. Jay rushed in and almost killed the guy, sliced his neck with a broken piece of glass. The man was arrested, did far too few years behind bars, and got out.” I roll my eyes. “He’s not going to hurt you ever again.” “Then. Then I get this house from a grandpa I never even met. I finally venture out to do something on

my own, and it’s completely shot to shit because of another fucking psychopath.” “It’s not shot to shit,” he argues. “No, it is.” I stand and pace. “Did you know I couldn’t leave my room for months? Months! We had to move out of the apartment building because I couldn’t step foot in my bedroom where it happened. Then it took me years to even be comfortable leaving the house with my police officer brother.” He watches me, listening. God, it feels good to have someone just listen. “I ended up losing myself in books, and one thing turned into another and then I started editing. It gave me a purpose again as I tried to be independent, tried to venture out on my own. I knew he was locked up. I knew it. But then he got out early for good behavior.” “Fucking bullshit,” Smith mutters under his breath. “Yeah, it is. Anyway, long story short, I took a leap coming here initially, but I found you. I was so afraid, then the hotel shit, then the fucking neighbor, and I just can’t deal with it! I’ve been trying, Smith. I’ve tried.” I stomp to the kitchen again, take a swig straight out of the bottle, then march back to where I was and continue pacing. “Do you know how hard it is to pretend that you’re not scared shitless? I’m terrified. All the time. And the worst part is now I don’t even know who to be afraid of.” “Mellie—” “No, let me finish.” He nods, and I continue. “I’m so tired. So damn tired of it all. And you’re the only thing that makes me feel normal. I just want to forget all of it and not be scared all the time.” “Okay.” “Okay?” “Yeah. What do you want to do now?” “Nothing.” I shrug. “I just wanted to share that with you, so it was out of the way. I really like you, Smith. And I’ve been confused about a lot of things but not this. Not us.” He stands and gives me a soft kiss on the lips then dips down so we’re eye level. “I like you too, Mellie. Probably more than I should, but I do. A lot. So whatever you need from me... if things are going too fast or too slow, you need to tell me, okay?” “’Kay.” He searches my face, and when he sees what he’s looking for, he nods and pulls me closer. “Good. Now, what do you want to do for the rest of the day?” He holds me for a few minutes, and I take the strength he’s offering. My brain is telling me to stay on high alert, but my heart is saying relax. I finally take a half step back. “Hmm.” I tap my finger against my chin. “I introduced you to something delicious, so I think you should introduce me to something that I don’t know about.” “Food?” “Not necessarily.” “Let me think.” He grabs my glass from the coffee table and walks to the kitchen. “Since you’re drunk, our options are limited.” “I’m not drunk.” I put my hand on my hip, or at least, I try to before I stumble a half of a step. “I’m just tipsy.” “You’re adorable.” He comes back and sits on the couch, flicking the TV on. A little dejected that he doesn’t want to do more than watch a movie, I drag my feet and plop down next to him. When the opening song to Golden Girls comes on, I open my mouth to question him, but he holds up his hand. “If you ever breathe a word of this to anybody, I won’t like you anymore.” “You watch this show?” “I enjoy this program, yes.” The inside of my cheek is sore from biting it, and finally, I succumb to a snort laugh. “I’m... sorry.”

With a smirk on his face, he shakes his head. “Don’t be. I get it. But it’s damn good.” “I’ve never seen it.” A gasp comes from him and I laugh harder. “How?” “Wasn’t really my cup of tea, I guess.” “Well, sunshine.” He pulls me next to him, and I rest my head on his shoulder. “Time to change that.” * * * “Mellie.” I awake to Smith’s gravelly voice and his lips next to my ear. He says my name again, and I giggle. “That tickles.” He kisses my cheek, and I sit up. “What time is it?” “Five twelve.” “Why are you waking me up so early?” I fell asleep watching The Golden Girls, and the next thing I knew, I was being carried to bed. His bed. He curled up around me, and I don’t remember anything else. A full night of sleep... marvelous. “I wanted to show you something.” My sleepy eyes take in the t-shirt he threw on and the yoga pants he’s holding out for me. After sliding them up my legs, he ushers me out of the bed. I hold his hand as he walks me through the house, loving it’s something that comes naturally to him. He grabs a mug of coffee off the kitchen counter and hands it to me then takes one for himself. When he opens the back door, I shiver from the slight chill but stop and look up. No words... I have none for the picture before me. “Wow.” “Pretty, right?” “It’s beautiful.” He slides open the glass door the rest of the way, and we walk onto the deck. My skin even has a reddish tint from the bright colors reflecting everywhere. He leads me to the steps and sits on the top one. I rest my hand on his shoulder and continue standing. The sun slowly rises, and the world becomes a little brighter. A few frogs croak in the distance and birds sing their morning melody. I finally sit and lean against him. Smith doesn’t say anything, and I don’t either. For the life of me, I can’t remember when I just sat and watched the sunrise. Sat and enjoyed anything, really. I’ve missed so many beautiful things because of the ugly in my life, and I’m determined to surround myself with only beauty from now on. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to move.” He breaks the silence, and I sit next to him. “I can understand that.” “When I was little, I didn’t want many things when I grew up. Material things don’t mean anything to me... They never did. I always enjoyed building something or fixing it and making it work again. But I wanted to be a cop, and I accomplished that. I would have done that forever. When I came back to take over the business, I struggled because the one and only thing that I ever wanted got taken away from me, if that makes sense.” “Why did you quit?” “Family emergency.” I want to ask him about what, but he continues talking, clearly avoiding the subject. “I swear, Mellie. Until I saw you, I thought I was going to become a bitter old man, sittin’ on his porch along with a shotgun and his dog.” I laugh at the image.

He wraps an arm around my shoulder and pulls me closer. “I’m not letting you go.” He kisses the top of my head. “And I’m not letting anybody or anything take you from me.” I breathe deeply, absorbing his words and his spicy-sweet smell. When he says things like this, it makes my heart genuinely happy for the first time in my life. “I don’t want you to.” We sit in silence for a while, sipping coffee. When the sky is awake, he takes the cup from my hand and sets it on the step. His fingers trace over my jaw before he cradles it and presses his lips to mine. A slow, seductive dance consumes me as our tongues twirl together. Soft, sweet, gentle. He treats me like a treasure, and although it’s what I wanted, I still feel so out of my element. I can’t forget the danger, but he makes me want to. He shows me what it’s like to be happy. Maybe I’m being stupid. Maybe he’s grasping for something I’ll never be. I should care, but I simply don’t right now. They say that when you find the one, you just know. I never understood it or believed; I always thought it was fake... fiction. True love was something you only read about or saw in a movie. Sparks don’t fly, and hearts don’t burst. But he’s changed my misconception. He’s taken the cruel fate I thought I would merely survive and somehow managed to give me hope again. Behind my closed eyes, tears form. A single drop slides down my cheek. He brushes his lips over my bottom one and then the top before finally pulling back. His brows draw together, and he runs his thumb over the wetness on my cheek. “It’s going to be okay,” he whispers. “I’ll make sure of it.”

Chapter 15 Smith

B eing with someone around-the-clock for three weeks isn’t what I thought it’d be like. I figured she’d get irritated with how I always toss my dirty clothes on the bathroom floor and leave empty water bottles lying around. And that when she kicked me in my shins in the middle of the night, I’d want to push her off the bed. Or when I had no room on the bathroom counter because all of her girly shit was taking up the space, I’d want to throw it all in the trash. But it’s been the best twenty-one days of my life. We wake up together and make breakfast together. Luckily Richard is still out of town on business, so we haven’t had to deal with running into him since when I go to work on the house, she comes with and hangs out, doing her work. Lunchtime comes, and we eat together, we drive home together, and we are joined at the hip until it’s time for bed. Then we wake up and do it all over again. So I’m confused on why she’s huffing around right now because nothing has happened that I know of. “Something wrong, sunshine?” She glares at me, and I sit up and lean against the headboard. “No.” She flicks the light off, practically throws herself on the bed, and then turns her back to me. “Is this one of those times when there’s something wrong, and I should just wait for you to talk about it? Or should I keep bugging you until you tell me?” She doesn’t answer. “Is it that... time or something?” “You. Did not. Just say that!” she shrieks. Yeah, wrong thing to say. I shrink back down into the mattress, laughing to myself that this little squirt of a woman is the only person in the world who makes me cower. “I’m sorry.” I can hear her huffing and puffing. Obviously, she’s pissed about something. In the last few weeks, we’ve gotten to know each other even more. Likes and dislikes, favorite things and fears, and so, so much more. I’ve learned her moods, and she’s learned mine. Apparently, though, I don’t know her as well as I thought I did. “So... are you gonna be pissed if I go to sleep, or am I supposed to stay awake and wait for you to talk?” “Do whatever you want.” She kicks the covers down a little. “That’s what men do anyway.” “Say what?” “Nothing.” “Mellie, baby. Talk to me.” She sits up and crosses her arms. “He barely even calls me anymore.” “Who?” “My boyfriend,” she snaps. “Jay, who do you think?” “He’s balls deep in a really big case right now, and he knows you’re with me. There’s nothing to be upset about.” “Don’t tell me how I should feel.” Her voice raises an octave. Jesus. “Okay, I’m sorry.” We sit in silence for a beat before she talks again. “I just feel like he doesn’t care anymore. Then that makes me feel like he only cared before because he had to. Then that makes me feel even worse... like I was nothing but a burden on him.” She chokes up, and it tears me apart that she thinks that. I flick on the lamp on my nightstand and sit up again. “Trust me. You aren’t and were never a burden. He loves you so much and is beating himself up that he’s not able to be here for you right now as much as he’d like.” “I’ve only talked to him twice in the last three weeks. Don’t get me wrong, I love being here with you,

but he’s all I’ve had for a really long time, and it’s just... I miss him.” Hell, I know how she feels, except she has the luxury of still having a sibling alive to be mad at. Her anger and frustration will be resolved when he finishes this case; it’s only temporary. The hole in my heart will never be filled. “He’ll be done soon then he’ll start bugging the shit out of you again.” She smiles and nods. “Yeah. That’s probably true.” When she lies back down, I shut the light off and do the same. I pull her close, and my lids become heavy. “Smith?” “Yeah?” “I’m sorry I yelled at you.” I chuckle and kiss her head. “That was you yelling?” “Yes. It takes a lot for me to become upset.” “I see that.” I run my fingers up and down her arm. “How long were you sitting on that before you finally exploded?” “Twelve days.” She sighs and mumbles something else under her breath that I can’t hear. “What?” “Nothing.” Her snippy tone is back now. “If something else is bothering you, I can’t help you unless you tell me.” I continue rubbing patterns on her arm, and she releases a loud breath. “How come you haven’t tried to do anything else with me?” Without even implying she wants to, just her asking the question, makes my cock harden. “I’m waiting for you to tell me you’re ready to do more.” “I’m ready,” she answers without hesitation. I groan and take a deep breath. “You sure?” “Yes.” “Okay.” I throw the covers off, flick the light back on, and crawl on top of her; sleep is suddenly the furthest thing from my mind right now. The lamp sets off a pretty glow against her soft skin. “Tell me if you want me to stop, okay?” She nods, threading her fingers through my hair. I lower my head as she pulls me down and surprises me with the urgency of her kiss. She slides her tongue into my mouth first and presses her hips up so her body’s against mine. Instead of wasting time making out with her, which is about the only thing we’ve done in the past few weeks, I pull my mouth away and kiss down her neck. When I reach her tank top, I grab the bottom, and she raises her arms so I can take it off. My tongue teases the tips of her perky tits, and I make my way down to her little underwear-slashshorts. Her sweet scent hits me before I’m even all the way between her legs and makes my dick leak. Her soft moans and wriggling tell me more than her words ever could, so I don’t hesitate to strip her bare. Her knees fall open, and I run a finger through her slit. “You’re so wet, baby.” “Uh-huh,” she agrees. “Is this really what was wrong?” I press two fingers into her at once, and her hips shoot up, but I push her down with my other hand. “You ache down here? Need me to make it better?” “Yes, please.” “Please, what?” “Please make it better.” “Oh Mellie, I can make it so good.” I rub the palm of my hand against her mound until her thighs shake. “Is that better?” She answers with a moan that shoots straight to my balls.

I don’t want her to come yet, so I scissor my fingers and push them back in, pulling out with a flick of my wrist, over and over again, fucking her with my hand. Faster then slower, hard then soft, just like I would if my cock was inside of her. When she’s dripping and cursing my name, I press my thumb to her clit, and she explodes. The walls of her already tight pussy clamp around my fingers, and I let her ride it out until she falls back. Her spasms slow almost to a stop, and I sit up, loving that she whines when I remove my hand. Her eyes are closed, and I kiss her lips. When she opens them, I kiss her again and then trace her lips with my finger. She licks her wetness off, and I swear I almost come. “You ready for another one?” “What?” she asks, through heavy panting breaths. “You’re ready.” I slide back down and spread her open, her glistening pussy like a fuckin’ magnet to my mouth. The pull to have my mouth on her is almost too much to take. I can’t wait anymore, and I suck her still swollen clit into my mouth. “Shit!” she screams and grabs my hair. “Oh, my God.” Goddamn, she’s so fuckin’ sweet. Almost like honeydew. I eat her like it’s my last damn meal, devouring her and fucking her hole with my tongue. Licking and sucking and even nipping at the most delicious pussy I’ll ever have the pleasure of making mine. I can’t help pressing my dick against the fuckin’ mattress; poor guy’s desperate. “I need... God, I need your fingers inside me again.” She pushes up on her elbows and squeezes her thighs together as I rapidly flick at her throbbing clit. “I’m going to come again.” All I have to do is stick the tip of my thumb inside before she lets out a moan and squeezes it with every spasm raking through her body. She’s super sensitive, so I take my mouth away but slowly pump in and out until her legs fall to the side and she collapses back on the bed. I crawl up her body and fuck her mouth with my own, so damn turned on that I’m going to have to go to the bathroom to jack off. When I literally feel like I’m going to nut in my boxers, I pull away and throw myself on the bed. I toss my arm over my eyes and try to even out my breathing. She surprises me and grabs me through the fabric, and I fuckin’ growl at how good it feels. “Can I?” “Yeah, baby. Do whatever you want.” I move my arm so I can watch her. After she situates herself next to me, she pulls the waistband down to my knees, and uses both of her hands, one on top of the other to stroke me. “Goddamn, Mellie.” A pearly white bead of moisture leaks out of the tip, and she leans down and swipes it with her tongue. She looks up and smiles at me. “Not nearly as bad as I thought it would be.” I laugh, and thrust my hips up, urging her on; I have never been this hard in my damn life. “This is fucking awesome, and I’ve never felt anything better than your fingers wrapped around my cock, but if you don’t make me come, I think my balls are gonna fall off.” She drops her head so her hair falls forward, shielding her face from me. Not only did I just lose her eyes, but I also lost her hands. “Don’t hide from me.” She tucks some strands behind her ears and looks at me through heavy lashes. “I don’t know how to do that.” I fall back and lick my lips. “Just keep doing what you’re doing. Only a little harder and a little faster.” It won’t take much. She could probably blow on my dick, and I’d come hard as hell. With a small nod, she takes a deep breath and squeezes me harder and faster. “Faster,” I growl. She hesitates, and I pin her with a heated gaze. “Trust me, you can’t hurt me. Faster, Mellie.” She does as I ask, and her hesitation fades away. Her tongue darts out, and I feel my entire body tightening. “You’re

getting me closer, baby. So hot. My pretty girl, making me come with just her hand. Fuuuck.” She looks down just in time to see those streams of pearly white land on my flexing abdominals. I can’t remember the last time my damn legs shook from an orgasm. This girl’s got me all kinds of twisted. After a second, she lets me go, and I pull her down by the neck for a quick peck. “Thanks, babe.” She laughs. “Thank you.” “Wanna go take a quick shower?” “Together?” “Yeah. You don’t have to if you—” “Okay.” “Give me a second.” I kick off my boxers and use them to wipe my stomach, then take her hand and walk to the bathroom. As she’s tying up her hair, I turn the water on and get in, holding the curtain open for her. She steps in, and I pull her under the waterfall, letting the warm water slide down her back. Her arms wrap around my waist, and we just stand like this for a while. I think we both need a minute to process. It’s not that I didn’t know how good things would be with her; it’s that I didn’t expect them to exceed my expectations. Everything about her amazes me. Her strength, her humor, her passion. I’m in way deep... deeper than I ever thought I’d be with anyone. “Where’d your piercings go?” Her question tears through my thoughts. “Took them out. Don’t need or want anything else but you.” “That’s sweet.” “You’re sweeter, Mellie. So sweet I can hardly stand it... you do things to me, baby.” She smiles shyly and kisses my chest. We finally wash our bodies and step out. I grab a fresh pair of briefs, and she grabs an old t-shirt of mine to slip on as we crawl into bed and pass out. * * * My security system beeps, and I shoot out of bed just as it stops. Mellie’s still sleeping, but I have to wake her up. “Mellie baby, wake up,” I whisper as I pull on a pair of jeans. She stirs, and it kills me that she’s smiling in her dream and I’m about to ruin that. I shake her, and her eyes fly open. “Someone’s here. Do not leave this room.” She barely registers what I say before I grab my gun out of the drawer and close my bedroom door behind me. I hear a bang downstairs, and I tiptoe, avoiding the spots I know creak on the steps. There’s another noise... sounds like a chair screeching, and then it’s silent. More anger than fear fuels me to keep going and finally put a stop to the fucker who dares to come in my house and threaten my woman. I continue creeping and find the kitchen empty, except for a bag thrown on the back of a chair. What the fuck? Just as I’m rounding the corner, a shadow appears, and I train my gun on it, releasing the safety. When the figure rounds the corner, he screams. “Fuck, man.” “Jesus, Erik.” I put the safety back on and tuck the cold metal into the back of my jeans. “What the hell are you doing creeping around in the middle of the night?” He sways a little bit, and I curse under my breath. “You’re drinking again?” It kills me to see him this way. I’ve tried so many times to help him, but he’s not ready to help himself, so I try to be there for him as much as possible. He’s been on and off the wagon for years now, and though

he doesn’t live in town anymore, he shows up randomly. “Sorry to wake you. I just needed a place to crash.” “I almost shot you in the head, asshole. Should have never given you my damn code.” “Smith?” I turn and hold an arm out for Mellie, and she tucks herself right next to me. “I told you not to move,” I say into her ear. “I know, but I heard you talking.” “Who’s this little thing?” Erik slurs and steps toward us. Mellie stiffens. “This is Mellie. She’s off-fuckin’-limits to you. Got me?” I stare him down, and even though he’s wasted, he gets my message. The last thing I want is for her to be uncomfortable around him. If Erik is anything, he’s a player and a womanizer who he tends to be a little aggressive with his come-ons. “Hi.” She gives a little wave. “I’m going to go back to bed.” “’Kay, baby. I’ll be up shortly.” Erik cranes his neck, and when she’s out of view, I punch him in the gut. “Ugh. Damn, man. What the fuck?” “Don’t. Whatever the hell you’re thinking. Don’t. Especially with her.” “Can I stay here for a few days?” I never hesitate when he just pops in, but with Mellie here, I’m not sure it’s the best thing. “Only a day or two, man.” “Got it. Thanks. I’m gonna crash, all right?” “Yup. You know where everything is.” I head upstairs, and when I close my door behind me, Mellie sits up. “Everything okay?” “Yeah.” I put the gun back away and take my jeans off then crawl in next to my girl. “I’ll explain more later, but he’s my best friend who suffers from an alcohol addiction. He’ll probably be here for a few days if that’s okay with you.” “Yeah, of course. I’ll get my things out of the guest room tomorrow.” “I’m so tired. Get some sleep, and we’ll talk in the morning.” Without answering, she falls asleep, and I must follow her shortly after because the next thing I know, I wake to the smell of bacon.

Chapter 16 Mellie

I don’t sleep well after being woken up by Smith, so when the sun rises, I get up, put some clothes on, and go downstairs. I’m surprised to see his friend... Erik already awake and watching TV in the living room. “Morning.” He stands and walks into the kitchen. “Hi. I was just going to make breakfast. Are you hungry?” “Yeah. Starved.” I open the cupboard and take down a box of blueberry muffin mix. “I’ve been dying to make these.” “Sounds great.” I set about getting the rest of the ingredients, and while doing so, an awkward silence hangs between us. I’m glad he’s messing around on his phone. I’ve never been good at small talk, and I soon regret not waiting for Smith. Although, in my defense, I thought Erik would still be asleep. Once I finish putting the muffins in the oven, I notice Mouse walking down the stairs. I smile at her, and Erik looks where I’m looking. “Is that a Persian?” I make kissy noises, and she comes running so I can pick her up. “Yes. This is Mouse.” “My grandma had three Persians.” He steps into my space and scratches her head. “She’s cute.” “I’m glad someone else thinks so.” “Smith’s not a fan, huh?” “No. But I see him pet her when I’m not looking. I think she’s growing on him.” I set her down and grab her food bowl to fill up. “So how did you guys meet?” Erik asks as he sits back down. I start a pot of coffee. “My grandpa left me a house, and Smith is remodeling it. He was my brother’s ex-partner back in Chicago.” “Oh yeah? What’s your brother’s name?” “Jay.” “I remember him. I never met him, but Smith talked about him a bit.” “Yup, it was a while ago, I barely remember Jay talking about Smith.” Erik chuckles. “Getting old sucks.” I laugh as well, but decide to skip the little detail of my age. “So, the house. Since there was so much work to be done, I was just planning to stay in town for a couple of months until the remodeling was finished and the house was sold.” “You’re staying a lot longer than that.” Smith’s voice makes me jump. “Crap.” I hold a hand over my heart. “You’ve gotta stop sneaking up on me like that.” “Sorry.” He kisses the top of my head, and then he and Erik do that fist-bump thing. “What are you up to today?” he asks Erik. “Nothin’, man. I’m just hangin’ out for a while. What about you guys?” “We’re headed to the house. Luckily, we’re ahead of schedule, so today we start laying the floors.” “Need help?” “Thanks. But I’ve got my guys on the insurance, and if you come, it takes away from their paychecks.” Smith’s arm around me tightens, but his facial expression and voice stay the same. Interesting. “It’s cool.”

Sensing Smith doesn’t want Erik there, I change the subject. “You said you were friends? How did you guys meet?” When they both look at each other but neither answers, I shift nervously on my feet. The oven timer goes off just in the nick of time—thank you, Lord—and I grab the oven mitt to pull them out. “Smells good, sunshine.” “I hope they taste as good. I’m starving.” “Worked up an appetite last night, huh?” Erik says. “Fuck off, idiot.” Smith laughs, and I try to hide my total embarrassment by pouring coffee and setting out plates and the butter dish. “They’ll be good to go in a minute after they cool. I’m going to go get ready, okay?” I smile as I walk away, and as soon as I get upstairs, I go directly to the master bathroom. Closing the door behind me, I lean against it and try to catch my breath. I’m not used to all of this... this stuff and certainly not this banter. Any time I even tried to equate anything sexual to myself, I felt nauseous. This is good, though. I’m not nearly as freaked out as I thought I would be in a situation like this. After one last long inhale followed by an equally long exhale, I step into the shower with a smile on my face. I’m damn proud of myself for how far I’ve come in such a short while. The curtain rips open, and I scream. “Dammit, Smith!” He’s already naked and hard. His stupid handsome face is trying not to laugh, so I splash some water on him. He shakes his head and steps in. “That’s the best you got?” “My options are kind of slim in here, honey. I mean unless you want me to squirt some soap in your eye.” “Nah.” He crowds me into the corner, and when I hit the small bench, I’m left with no choice but to sit on it. “You didn’t eat, and I’m starved this morning.” “I was going to when I got out of the shower.” He kneels down and presses his lips against my neck then slides them down. “Hmm.” He hums against my collarbone as he kisses his way across it. “I don’t want to wait that long. Think there’s something you can offer me in the meantime to fill me up?” My core clenches at his words. Words I never thought anyone would say to me. Words I have such a visceral reaction to it scares me a little, because when he talks like that, I forget everything else in the world. “You okay if I eat your pussy right now?” I can’t even swallow right now, how does he expect me to reply? My head becomes a bobble figure as I nod my answer. He pulls me forward, lifting my legs so my calves are resting on his shoulder. When his mouth closes over me, I suppress the moan that’s dying to come out. He shifts his body and slides two fingers into me but doesn’t move them in and out like he did yesterday. With his head turned to the side, his tongue flicks rapidly at my clit, and warmth spreads through my veins, hotter than the steam filling the bathroom. When he curls his fingers inside me, I almost slide off the bench. “Oh, my God.” His lips curl up in a smile, but he doesn’t slow down the magic he’s performing with his tongue. He speeds up all of his movements and a bolt of lightning hits me. I shatter as the electric current courses through my body. I can’t help the scream that falls from my mouth. “Holy shit!” He uses both of his hands to spread me open. Flattening his tongue, he runs it through my folds and I push his head away. “Too sensitive,” I pant. He kisses up my stomach and nibbles around my breasts before sucking on my neck as he makes his way back up. With his lips a breath away from mine, he whispers, “Delicious.” For a moment, I contemplate whether he’d think it gross if I kissed him right now. But he slams his

lips to mine, and I moan as I taste myself on his tongue. Something’s unbelievably erotic about it, taboo, almost. I’m discovering so much about myself. And one big thing is I like sex. Well, I freaking love all the stuff leading to it so far. I can’t even imagine what it’ll feel like when he finally gets inside me. I pull my mouth away from his. “Switch.” “What?” “Switch. Sit down.” “You don’t have to, Mellie. I fuckin’ love goin’ down on you, could eat your pretty pink pussy for hours and still not get enough.” “I want to.” He kisses my cheek and then stands and holds out his hands for me to take. I switch places with him and drop to my knees. His dick is staring at me, practically pointing, begging. I don’t have any hesitation when I grab it this time. Do it, Mellie. Just do it. Right before I suck him into my mouth, I lick my lips and go for it. I start with just the tip and swallow when his salty flavor slides onto my tongue. His fingers glide against my scalp and the gentle tug he gives me encourages me to continue. I suck him deeper and slide my hand down along with my mouth. I can’t believe how turned on I am from doing this to him. “Your mouth feels like heaven, baby.” I hum against him—my way of agreeing this is in fact, heavenly—and he tightens his hands in my wet hair. “Fuck.” I absolutely love that he likes this. I was afraid that I’d do it wrong and embarrass myself, but it feels natural. Kind of like eating a Popsicle. I remember he liked it when I did it hard and fast last time, so I speed it up and squeeze him tighter. “Goddamn.” He moves my head as he thrusts up, using my mouth as he pleases. He’s restraining himself; I can tell by how tight his thigh muscles are. I want him to let go. I reach up and gently cup his balls. “I’m about to come, baby. Fuuuck!” He yanks my head back and brings his hand to his dick, stroking himself a few times before he comes. The warm streams of cum land on my chest, and when he’s finished, he sits in front of me on the floor of the shower and pulls me onto his lap. “That was amazing,” he says right before he kisses me. The gentle swipe of his lips in such a loving gesture makes me freaking swoon. Now I know what these heroines in the books feel. My heart is so full, and I can’t remember a time I was this damn happy. “It was. Thank you for making it so easy.” “Love is easy, baby.” * * * “You ready to go?” Smith wraps his arms around me from behind and kisses my neck. I’ve been editing all day, and despite staring at my screen for nine hours, I barely got any work done. Between the hammering and laughing, Smith came over and interrupted me every twenty minutes. “Yes.” I sigh and slam my laptop shut. He turns me around and bends down a little to be level with me. “Everything okay?” “Yup.” I kiss his nose and grab my stuff. We drive home and like usual, sit in silence. It’s not at all awkward, though; nothing between us has

been, aside from my insecurities. He comes around to open my door, and after he closes it behind me, he presses me against it. “We’ve been surrounded by people all day and won’t get to go inside to an empty house, so I’m going to do what I’ve been dying to do all damn day.” He brushes the stray hair off my face, cups my cheeks in his hands, and leans down to kiss me. He works his mouth against mine, and instantly, the stress I was feeling fades away, replaced with desire. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him close. After several minutes go by, we reluctantly pull apart, and he steps away. I hitch my bag over my shoulder, and he pushes open the garage door for me to enter the house first. When I get in the kitchen, I’m expecting to see Erik, but he’s nowhere around. We walk around the house, and Smith even goes in Erik’s room. “He didn’t let you know he was going anywhere?” Smith pulls out his phone and puts it to his ear. After a few seconds, he tucks it back into his jeans pocket. “Didn’t answer. He’s probably just out. His stuff is still here, so he’ll be back.” “Okay.” We walk into the bedroom, where Smith takes his clothes off. “What do you want to eat for dinner?” “Don’t really care. It’s late already, so if you want to order something, that’s cool.” “Okay. What about pizza? That way there will be leftovers if Erik wants to eat.” “Sure.” He tosses his wallet at me. “Use my card.” I roll my eyes but take it anyway. Mouse winds herself around my ankles as I order the pizza and get her food ready. While I’m waiting for Smith and the delivery, I straighten the living room. Erik must have spent some time here because a couple of empty water bottles and some wrappers litter the area. Plus, the blankets I had folded nicely on the back of the couch are all messed up. Smith comes down just as the doorbell rings. He signs the receipt, collects the food, and then brings it in to me. “Still no word yet?” I ask. “Nah. He’ll be fine.” “What’s the deal with you guys, anyway? I sensed some... tension, this morning.” “Really?” He grabs a piece of pizza. “No tension. How’s your book coming along?” Another change of subject. I’ll give it to him. No way would I force someone to talk when they don’t want to. I’ve been in the same position before, and it sucks. “Umm, yeah. So. About that. I can’t keep—” The front door flies open so hard it hits the wall. Smith jumps up and swears. “Erik, Jesus, man.” He jogs over to him, and I follow. I shut the door and silence the alarm while Smith helps Erik stand by wrapping one of his arms around his shoulders. “How did you get here?” “Got a ride... two of ’em.” He laughs then burps. “You need to stop this, bud.” “Hey, there’s the pretty girl who makes delicious muffins.” His lids are so heavy I’m surprised he can even see me. “Up to bed, asshole.” Smith practically drags him up the stairs. I don’t know if I should go with, so I just head back to the living room and wait. Several loud thuds come from upstairs, and I mute the TV and listen. I can’t hear anything clearly, but Smith’s voice is angry, and Erik doesn’t even say anything. Or if he does, I can’t hear it. When heavy feet stomp down the stairs, I turn the volume back on and try to pretend I wasn’t just eavesdropping. Smith doesn’t sit next to me but stops at the end of the couch. “You good if I go to sleep?” “Of course. Is everything okay?” Worry I’ve never seen on him before shows how stressed he is right now. He has creases between his brows and a clenched jaw. “Yup. Just tired.” “Yeah, okay. I can come up now, too.” “No.” I sink further into the couch, and he rubs the back of his neck. “I just mean you don’t need to. You can

watch TV or whatever. Don’t go to bed early because of me.” “Oh... okay.” “’Kay. Night.” He turns on his heel and walks away without even giving me a kiss good night.

Chapter 17 Smith

I feel her crawl into bed a couple of hours later and I pull her close, amazed at how just holding her releases so much tension. Erik is going off the damn rails because it’s the anniversary of their death tomorrow. I’m fully aware of it, but rather than dwell on it, I pretend the day doesn’t exist. Not that either option is a healthy way to handle it. She falls asleep before I do. After tossing and turning for a little while, I finally get pulled under, only to wake up a few short hours later. I crawl out of bed and pull the covers up to her chin then head to the bathroom. Normally, on this day I would busy myself with other things. If it’s not work, it’s a woman. Anything to keep my mind off it. When I get back out in the bedroom, she’s sitting up. “Everything okay?” I could just stare at her all day. I’ll never know what the hell I did to get so lucky to have such a beautiful person—inside and out—care about me like she does. “No. I mean yes. Everything’s fine.” I walk over to her and kiss the top of her head. “I just couldn’t sleep. Go back to bed.” “I think you should go to the house without me,” she blurts. “What? Why?” She pulls me down, so I’m sitting on the edge of the bed. “I love spending time with you, but Smith… I can’t get any work done with so many distractions. The past few weeks have been tough. I’m getting behind.” “I’m not leaving you alone.” “Come on; there haven’t been any sightings in almost a month.” I shake my head. “That’s because they haven’t had a chance to get to you, Mellie. Just because they’re quiet doesn’t mean they’ve forgotten.” “I don’t want to live in fear again.” Her voice drops, and she plays with the ends of her hair. “You don’t have to. It’s my job to make sure of it. Which is why you’re coming with in a couple of hours after you get up.” “Smith... no. I’m not.” My stubborn girl is pushing my buttons this morning, and I’m already on edge, so I take a deep breath. “Baby, I’m not arguing with you about this.” “Erik’s here, right? So I won’t be alone. You have an alarm and guns. Please.” She tugs on my arm. “I’m so far behind on work and… God, I’ve been alone for so long. I can’t continue being around all those people, those men, all day.” The fuck? I know my guys wouldn’t ever put their hands on her. “Did someone say something to you?” “No, no,” she adamantly disagrees. “But my anxiety is starting to come back, and I just need some space. Being around them and trying to pretend I’m comfortable is driving me crazy.” How did I not notice that? Man, I’ve spent so much time making sure she’s safe with me that I didn’t once consider how she felt being around my guys. “Why didn’t you say something earlier?” “Because I like being with you. The guys are nice to me. And I wanted to try and be normal for once in my adult life.” “You are normal. Don’t for one second think that you’re not just because you like time to yourself.” Should I let her? I mean, it’s not like I’d ever force her to do something she didn’t want to do, but I’m only doing what’s best for her and her safety right now. I want to finish this flip, so she can put it on the market

and be done with it. “Let me talk to Erik, okay?” “Okay. Thank you.” She yawns, and I get up while she lies back down and almost immediately falls back to sleep. Once I quietly slip out of the room, I open Erik’s door and find his bed empty. Downstairs, I discover a hungover man drinking tomato juice, obviously regretting his choices last night. “How ya feelin’?” I joke as I pat his back, walking to the fridge. “Like ass.” He clears his throat. “Sorry about last night. I just remembered what today was and got pissed off when I walked around the house and didn’t see one fucking picture of them, so I left.” “I have pictures. I just don’t put them out.” “Why? They were your family, Smith.” “I know that, but I don’t need pictures to remember them. Every fuckin’ minute of the day, I see things that remind me of them. Every damn time I look in the mirror, I see her staring back at me. I don’t want any more reminders.” He shakes his head and sets his glass down a little harder than necessary. “Seven years, man. Seven fucking years.” “I know.” I slide a bottle of aspirin across the island at him. “So I’ve got a favor.” Since I’m not going to talk about what this day really is about, I change the subject and give him the rundown on what’s been going on with Mellie, up to the last detail I’ve heard about Richard. Unfortunately, that included giving him some personal details I’m afraid will upset her. But for Erik to know the severity of the situation, I made a judgment call. “So he’s out there somewhere. And so is that other fucking piece of shit? What the fuck?” An explosive side of Erik I haven’t seen in a long time emerges, and I’m not sure if it’s good or bad for his health. “Richard is still out of town on business. Or whatever the hell he’s doing. All the intel Gerald gathered about him points to a very unstable man. He doesn’t have any violence on his record, and his work history is legit, so he’s thinking he’s more creepy and harmless than violent. I, on the other hand, disagree with Gerald. I think Richard is a time bomb.” I got the information about the woman he lives with. She is not his wife, but a woman he rescued from the streets. He gave her a house and feeds her in exchange for her playing the role of housewife. An odd arrangement but no signs say he’s an actual physical threat to her. The more concerning factor is that Norman is nowhere to be found. Still. “What do you need from me? And fuck, man. Why didn’t you tell me right away?” All I need to do is raise a brow, and he nods in acknowledgment. “Right. I’m a drunk.” “You been to a meeting lately?” “No.” “Maybe you should go. I can go with if you want.” “Thanks, but it’s something I need to do on my own.” He stands, and in a very unusual gesture, he pulls me in for a hug and pats my back. I reciprocate because I love this stupid dude, and I wish I could have my best friend back. “Do what you need to. I’ve got her.” “Thanks.” He grabs a water out of the fridge and walks away. “Remember where I keep my weapons?” “Yup. Won’t need them, though.” He cracks his neck. “Later. I’ll call ya.” Satisfied he’ll take care of anyone stupid enough to try, I set the alarm and lock the door behind me then take off to the house.



Mellie I gasp when I wake up after having a bad dream. I can’t remember what it was, but that feeling of dread is crawling up my spine. Like a million little spiders I can’t get off. My phone reads 9:50, and I have two missed texts. One from my brother saying he’ll be here in a few days. I’ll be so happy to see him again; I’ve missed him so much. The other message is from Smith telling me Erik is here, and I am under strict orders to stay inside the house. I reply with a heart, and he immediately answers back and says the house is lonely without me. After getting ready in the bathroom, I go down to eat and grab my laptop before I start my work. I have to finish one manuscript and then edit a piece an author just sprang on me last minute. Mouse is waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs. “Hey, little girl.” I pick her up, and she nuzzles her head against me. “You hungry?” “I already fed her.” She hisses and jumps out of my arms then scurries out of the room. “What the hell?” Erik laughs. “Sorry, I think I scared her.” He starts to say something else, but the doorbell cuts him off. “Stay here.” A determined scowl replaces his laughter. When he gets to the door, I hear the beep of the alarm then an exchange, followed by the door shutting and the alarm getting turned on again. “Someone’s turned into a big sap.” He laughs. I finally let out the breath I was holding when he rounds the corner with a vase filled with roses. “Aww.” I rip the card out when he passes me. Miss you. My cheeks hurt from the smile on my face. When I finally look away from the card, Erik is shaking his head and suppressing a laugh. “My man’s turned into a pussy.” “Has not. It’s sweet.” “Whatever. I’m gonna go watch ESPN.” I put my nose in the beautiful bouquet and love the fresh-cut smell. I send Smith a text with a heart and a flower. He doesn’t reply right away, so I continue getting some food. After I eat, I grab my laptop off the table in the corner where it’s charging. “I’m going upstairs for a while.” Erik leans forward and gives a little salute. “I’ll be here.” * * * I’m amazed at the amount of work I finished today. The setting sun alerts me to the fact I haven’t moved in hours. My back and neck are killing me, so I wrap up the chapter I’m on and go downstairs to eat. Erik already has the leftover pizza box out. “Good timing,” he murmurs, between a mouthful of food. “I guess so. I’m starving.” “I can imagine. You’ve been up there all day. Working hard?” I take a bite of pizza and point at my mouth, indicating I can’t answer him. “Sorry,” he says. “I hate when someone asks me a question right when I take a bite of food. Like at the restaurants when the waitress asks you how things are while you’re chewing.” I swallow and laugh, nearly choking. “Yes. It’s so annoying.”

He hands me a bottle of water, and I chug half of it right away. “I meant to say, that’s what happens when I get in my editing mode. I kind of go into another world, and before I know it, hours and hours have passed.” “That’s how I get when I’m training... or was training.” “Training for what?” “Fighting.” “Oh.” I sit on the stool and grab another slice. “What kind of fighting?” “MMA.” “But you don’t fight anymore?” “No.” “Why?” He looks away from me and clenches his jaw. “I’m sorry. That was rude. You don’t have to tell me.” “No,”—he shakes his head—“it’s okay.” He takes a big breath and nods to himself. “I just… I couldn’t go on without her... without them. I wish I could have been like Smith, but I just couldn’t.” When he raises his head and his gaze connects with me, I sit up a little straighter. “I’m sorry, Erik. I really am, and I don’t mean to seem insensitive, but who are you talking about?” “He didn’t tell you?” “Tell me what?” “Fuck. Shit. Fuck.” He runs his fingers through his hair. “What’s the matter?” “He’s gonna be so mad.” “Erik, what?” He pulls out his phone and scrolls through something for a minute and then hands it to me. I take it and almost drop it the second I read the headline. Family dies in freak accident. In an unfortunate turn of events during last night’s storm, a family was killed in their home. An estimated almost one hundred-year-old rotted oak tree collapsed during a wind gust and split the home in half. The family was said to have died instantly. Names are not being released yet, as the next of kin is being notified. We will keep you updated with further details as they become available. “Oh, my God.” I cover my mouth and drop his phone. “Oh, my God.” Erik leans against the counter, a single tear rolling down his cheek. “She was the only one…” “This was his family? Why didn’t…? He never told me.” Things start to click—conversations he avoided, subject changes he not-so-subtly worked into our talks. “She was everything; she was all I had.” I witness a grown man crumple. He literally falls to the floor, and his entire body shakes with every wheezing breath he takes. I crouch down next to him and can’t help the tears that roll out of my eyes too. It makes me remember my own parents’ demise and how Jay had to lift me off the floor when he told me what happened. With a hand on his back, I try to offer him encouraging words, but I know it doesn’t mean shit. After several long minutes, he stands and grabs a bottle from the cupboard. I should probably tell him to stop, but he’s obviously still grieving. “Today’s the anniversary. Seven years.” He takes a swig of vodka straight from the bottle. “Jesus,” I mumble. “He didn’t tell me.” I’m so mad at him right now, too. I understand not wanting to talk about stuff, but it would have been nice to at least fucking know that his entire family was killed in a

tragic accident. It explains so much about the man he is, and I instantly understand him more. “He won’t. He likes to pretend they didn’t exist.” “I’m so sorry.” “Me too.” He carries his bottle to the living room, and we sit on opposite ends of the couch. The silence that stretches is more than uncomfortable, so I welcome the distraction when he flicks on the TV. A stupid sitcom plays, and neither of us laughs. I’m not paying attention to him, but all of the sudden, he throws the bottle across the room. The glass shatters, and he stands up and punches the wall until a hole forms, and his knuckles are bloody. “She was pregnant.” I hold a hand to my rapidly beating heart. “What?” “Sophia. She was pregnant. She told her family she was dating someone but never told them who. I kept dragging her along, keeping her a dirty little secret, but then she got pregnant. That night… God, that fucking night!” He screams. “She was supposed to be with me!” “Erik…” “We got in a fight. She wanted to tell everyone, but I wanted to wait. She begged me, but I was a stubborn fuck who wasn’t ready to be a dad or to be tied down, even to her. For years she tried to convince me we were meant to be together, but I always strung her along. I yelled at her that night, kicked her out of my apartment. If it wasn’t for me she wouldn’t be dead.” The fastest I can, I’m trying to process everything. “Does Smith know?” “Fuck, no. He never would have approved of me being with her, much less her having my kid.” I doubt that. “You need to tell him. Erik, if he knew, maybe he’d—” “It won’t change anything. It won’t bring them back. It won’t bring her back. It would just cause him more pain knowing he could be an uncle right now. And I could have prevented his sister’s death.” He crumples again, and I rush over to him. I wrap my arms around him and try to rock his big body back and forth. I can’t imagine what he’s going through, how difficult it must be not only to lose your family but your unborn child, too. He cries into my shoulder, and I rub his back. He’s wrapped his arms around me, and as he calms down, his arms loosen. “Thank you,” he whispers. “Of course.” He stands up and wipes his eyes then holds his hands out to me. When he pulls me up, he does it with a lot of strength, and I find myself plastered against him. In a show of support, I hug him one more time. “Everything will be okay,” I whisper. “You need to tell—” “What the fuck?” Smith’s thunderous voice gets louder as his footsteps get closer. “Get the hell off her.” Erik’s body is torn from me, and I’m struck with a chill from the mood in the air. Smith blocks my view, but his arm swings and the sound of skin hitting skin makes me cringe. He turns and frantically searches my face. “Mellie, look at me, baby.” “I’m fine. It’s fine.” “I can’t believe you think I’d do that,” Erik says, as he wipes some blood from his lip. “Get gone, Erik.” “Smith,” I plead. He did nothing wrong. I was giving him a hug. He’s lonely and so unbelievably upset; he was just looking for some comfort. I’ve never seen someone so messed up. “Out,” Smith screams, right before he physically turns and throws Erik out of the living room. “I fucking trusted you!” Erik just holds his hands up and shakes his head. “Yeah, I see that.” “Smith,” I whisper, through the tears clogging my throat. I want to tell him, but I don’t know if that’s the right thing to do. I don’t know what the hell to do right now. It’s not my place, and Erik isn’t saying

anything, obviously upset by the fact that his best friend thinks he was doing something inappropriate to me. “Fucking drunk piece of shit.” He follows Erik, grabs him by the shirt, and shoves him against the wall. “Smith, stop.” “Get the fuck out of my house and never come back. You hear me?” He releases him, and Erik looks at me. “Don’t look at her.” In a move I didn’t see coming, Smith pushes Erik so hard he falls on the floor. “Get out!” Smith screams. “Smith, maybe—” “No, Mellie. Nobody touches you. Ever. Not even him.” He shakes his head and points at Erik. “I never want to see your pathetic ass again.” Erik’s head stays down the whole time he stands up. I can’t keep my mouth shut anymore. This whole situation is just not okay. I appreciate Smith sticking up for me, and I love knowing he cares about me so much that he jumps to my defense without a second thought, but he needs to know the truth. “Your sister was pregnant.” I blurt it out, and they both whip their heads at me. “What did you just say?” Smith asks with an eerily calm tone. “Erik told me, Smith. About your family. God, I’m so sorry. I wish it would have come from you.” I swallow through the lump in my throat, not sure if I just added another log to the fire or finally doused it with some water. “Your sister. She was pregnant with Erik’s baby.”

Chapter 18 Smith

I’ve seen a lot of movies where everyone is so damn surprised when they reach the plot twist. And I’m always amazed at how stupid they are because it was so obvious. From miles away, you could tell what would happen. This. Them. I never saw it. Didn’t even think it was an option. Maybe I was too consumed with my own grief to notice. Maybe he was just that good at hiding it. Either way, my heart stops beating momentarily, and my legs feel like they’re about to collapse on me. “What?” After running an angry hand through his hair, Erik stutters before he actually speaks. “I-I was too scared to tell you, man. I knew you wouldn’t get it, wouldn’t understand what we had going. She wanted to tell everyone and I wasn’t ready to. We... we fought that night.” He clenches his eyes closed. “She left my goddamned bed to go die in hers.” “Shut up!” I scream. “Shut up!” “It’s the truth!” He yells even louder than I am. “You’re lying. She would have told me. I would have known. I would have known if my best friend was fucking my sister.” “It was more than that.” “Shut the fuck up!” Apparently accepting defeat, Erik apologizes again. “I’m sorry. Both of you.” His footsteps fade as he gets closer to the door and farther away from me. I should let him go and forget he was ever a part of my life. But fuck me... he’s my best friend, and he was with my sister. She was pregnant. They lied to me. “Did you love her?” He stops walking away but doesn’t turn around. “I did. So much. I still do.” “How far along was she?” “Eight weeks.” “Was she happy about it?” “Yeah, man.” He turns around and hesitantly steps closer. “She had names picked out.” “Really?” I wipe my eyes with the palm of my hands. “What were they?” “If it was a boy, she wanted it to be Erik Smith. And if it was a girl, Liberty Smith.” I laugh, but it comes out more like a cry. “That’s an awful name.” “I know. But she liked it.” Time is a funny thing. It seems like it’s standing still right now... stagnant and bleak. But somehow, it’s flashing, too, showing me bursts of light so bright I’m blinded. My sister was pregnant. She and my best friend were... together. I’m racking my brain trying to remember if she told me anything the last time we’d talked. It was so long ago. I was working in Chicago and hadn’t been home in a few months. We talked on the phone, but she didn’t sound like anything was wrong. I knew she was dating someone, but my sister didn’t ever bring any boyfriends home. My dad and I tended to chase them away because nobody was good enough for her. Sophia was the most kind and beautiful soul I’d ever known. She loved animals and volunteered at the senior center. Her life was cut unbelievably short, and I’m constantly plagued with survivor’s guilt... even though I wasn’t actually there when it happened. If I was experiencing happiness, she wasn’t, and therefore, I didn’t and don’t deserve it. I closed myself off from experiencing joy.

“I like the name.” Mellie links her arm through mine. “It’s different, and I think it’s sweet that she wanted to include you.” Erik laughs, and I wrap my arm around my girl, the one who finally gave me permission to be happy again. A memory or an awareness rises, and things click into place, finally making sense. “I thought I had the flu.” I remember vomiting in the morning a couple of times and calling in sick to work. Sophia had called me, and before I could give her time to talk, I whined about how I thought I was going to die. She called me a big baby and said to call back and talk to her another time. I didn’t speak to her again or see her until three weeks later when I identified her body. That guilt will forever plague me… I never called her back. “Whenever one of us would get sick, the other got it, too. Weird stuff like that happened. Guess it’s normal for twins.” “She was your twin?” I look down at Mellie’s shocked face. “Yeah.” “I have a picture of her.” Erik hesitantly steps closer, and Mellie walks away from me to meet him halfway. He pulls out his wallet, removes a photo, and then hands it to her. “Wow.” She looks over at me and smiles. “She’s, like, a pretty version of you.” I can’t believe I’m laughing right now. See? Happy. “We heard that a lot growing up.” “Remember when you dressed as each other for Halloween that one year?” Erik asks. “Yeah.” I rub the knot on the back of my shoulder. “I was so pissed people actually thought I was her.” “They did?” Mellie laughs. “Now that is something I’d like to see a picture of.” “I have one. A whole album, actually.” I step into the living room and lift the top of the coffee table. “I didn’t know that opened.” Mellie sits on the couch, and I grab the photo album out of the storage unit then sit next to her. Erik stands off to the side, and I nod at the empty seat next to me. He hesitates. “Don’t make me hurt you again.” He rolls his eyes and sits down but gives me a wide berth. We both know he let me kick his ass. I can definitely hold my own, but he has a natural ability to inflict pain on someone. I turn to the first page and cringe at our baby pictures, because of course, my little penis is hangin’ out. “Aww.” Mellie leans closer, and I flip through the pages. Showing her these pictures gives me probably the most acceptance I’ve felt since and with their deaths. Sharing this part of my life with someone who I love just as much, if not more than I loved my family, is liberating. Erik laughs and adds to something I say about one photo. When I reach the Halloween picture, we all laugh at it. “Is that you, Erik?” Mellie points at the little boy standing next to Sophia. “Yes.” He laughs. “That was Sophia’s idea.” “It was actually brilliant.” Sophia told him to dress up like my dad. So he wore a Porter and Son shirt, a salt and pepper wig, a tool belt, and my mom drew a mustache on his face. I joked around and called him ‘Daddy’ all night. As I continue to flip through the pages, I notice that Erik is by Sophia or looking at her in almost all of them. He and I were, no are, best friends... yet he paid all that attention to her. I never noticed it before. How did I miss that? “When did you guys start, um... dating?” “We were on and off since we were sixteen.” “Fucker.” I nudge him with my shoulder. “You guys should have told me.” “She wanted to. That’s what, um... that’s what we were fighting about. I knew she could do better than me and I just... shit.” He wipes his face off on his shoulder. “I miss her so fucking much.” It takes this one second, this raw display of agony, for me to understand where he’s at in his life and how he got here. It puts everything into perspective. “I do too, brother.” I put a hand on his shoulder. “I do too.”

* * * As I hold Mellie and wait for her to fall asleep, I try to shut my brain off. But a hundred questions and a thousand potential memories won’t stop playing on repeat. Like when CDs used to be a thing, and there was a scratch. Back and forth the song goes. Repeating, skipping, taunting. Most importantly, though, more than anything, I’m worried about Mellie. “Are you sure you’re okay?” “What do you mean?” she asks. “He was... he had his hands on you.” “Yeah, I’m really okay. It was just a hug. He was telling me about her and… Smith, my God, I’ve never seen a grown man so torn up. He was sobbing on the floor, and I was the one who hugged him first. I couldn’t just watch him fall apart like that. I swear, it was nothing, and I’m totally fine.” When I breathe a sigh of relief, her hair flutters. “Okay. But please tell me... promise me you’ll tell me if you ever become uncomfortable or anything.” “I will. Promise.” “Thank you.” I hold her tighter and sink deeper into the mattress. “Why didn’t you tell me?” She whispers so quietly I almost don’t hear her. With my lips close to her ear, I tell her the only truth I know. The lie I’ve been telling myself for seven years. “If I pretend it didn’t happen, if I don’t talk about them, then it doesn’t hurt.” “I understand.” “I should have told you. You opened up to me about your past, and unfortunately, your tragedies allow you to understand me probably more than I do myself. And maybe, on some level deep in my soul, I knew that. There isn’t a reason why I feel so connected to you, but I just do. I should have told you.” She rolls to her back, and I place a hand directly next to her so I can keep myself propped up. “That seems like a logical reason to me. I mean, what I’ve been through and what I’ve lost… I absolutely hate that you lost your family, too. It’s just awful, and I’m so sorry. But knowing that you understand makes me fall for you that much more.” “Couldn’t have said it better myself.” I lean down and kiss her, something that gives me more satisfaction than any words could describe. “Oh, I almost forgot to say thank you for the flowers.” “What?” “The delivery earlier today.” “I didn’t send you flowers.” The hairs on my skin stand up. “Maybe Jay? The card just said miss you, but they were roses. Why would he—” My body stiffens to a damn block of concrete, and the bed shakes with its effects. “They’re not from your brother, baby.” Panic of an unprecedented measure courses through her. I can’t see it, but I can feel it, sliding through her damn veins. Her eyes frantically search around the room, and she tries to talk, however, nothing but a jumbled mess comes out. “It’s okay. It’s okay. Listen to me.” Trying my best to put on a façade, I run my fingertips along her jawline until she focuses on me. “Right now, at this exact moment, you are absolutely one-hundred percent safe, all right?” “Uh-huh.” She trembles while I try not to. Not from fear, though; rather, from the damn fury digging in my gut that

one of those motherfuckers has finally made his move. Shit’s about to get real ugly, real fast. I’m done. Fuck waiting for Jay to give me reports from his sources. The legal route Gerald is taking is about to get so far crossed I might not find my way back. I’m not letting some sick, twisted excuse for a man touch a single strand of hair on Mellie’s head. My fingers rub along her scalp and down her hair. Forcing myself to remain calm so she will fall back to sleep is torture. When her breathing evens out and her breaths become deeper, I slide out and pull the covers over her nice and tight. For a minute, I watch her, and even asleep, I can tell she’s stressed. The lines between her eyes shouldn’t be there, and her fingers clutching the sheets should be relaxed. I’m going to take that away. I have to. I have to do whatever it takes; I will do anything for her. Before I met her, I was simply a robot existing and dragging my way through every day. I cared about very little, even myself. But what’s worse than a man with nothing to fight for? A man with everything to lose... and I will not lose her. “Hey, man. Wake up.” I give Erik a little shove, and he swings at me. “Crap.” As he’s waking up, he wipes his eyes. “Don’t do that shit to me.” “I’m going out. I need you to keep an ear out for Mellie. And by that, I mean wake up and take watch.” I’d trust this man with my life. Knowing what happened and knowing the kind of person he is gives me the confidence he wouldn’t do anything to Mellie. I overreacted. He shoots up to a sitting position. “What happened?” After a brief rundown, he’s right on my heels as we walk downstairs. I grab a baggie out of the drawer and take the card out of the flowers I missed during the chaos earlier. I’ll take it in to have it dusted for prints, but I doubt they’ll get a hit. “You gonna tell me where you’re going?” “Nope.” I grab the vase of roses and toss it in the trash. “Okay.” He sighs. “Be safe, brother.” I nod and grab my Glock out of the silverware drawer and my Bowie knife from under the kitchen table, securing them discreetly under my clothes. “I’ll be back soon. If she wakes up, tell her I went for a run.” He follows me to the door, and I listen for a beat until I hear the alarm being set. I open the garage door and wait for it to rise all the way. I do a scan of my surroundings before getting in my truck and driving to one of the worst parts of town. Pleasant Valley has a hill separating the two very different classes our city has. Of the sixty-five thousand people living here, about a quarter of them live at the bottom of the hill. The only reason you come down here is to buy drugs, guns, or pussy. It’s almost four in the morning, but the man I’m here to see works the graveyard shift. I park my truck around the corner, and before I even enter the building, I’m met by two men who stop directly in front of me. “Pigs ain’t welcome ’round here,” Jimbo—or is it Jimmy—says. “I need to see Dirt.” “You make an appointment, old man?” These thugs would put a bullet in me with no hesitation, so as much as I want to take out my aggression on their punk asses, I bite my tongue. “Nah, but he’ll want to see me.” Jimmy nods at the other, and he pulls out his phone then puts it up to his ear. “You’ve got an unwelcome visitor. Porter. Yeah.” When his eyes widen, I know he’s getting his ass chewed. “Okay. Right away.” He puts his phone away and glares at me. “Come on.” I follow him while the other man follows me, and he takes me through the front door of the dimly lit strip club. I scan my surroundings to find the other exits just in case things go bad, even though I don’t anticipate that happening. Women and men lie around, passed out. Some with cigarettes still hanging out of their mouth. Sex in the corner, a blowjob on stage. Weed being passed around the small space and

causing a fog. Once through the main room, he leads me to a hallway and knocks on the first door. “Come in.” He turns the knob, and the three of us walk inside. Dirt nods at me and shoos away the two men. “Boss?” “Don’t question me.” They hang their heads and close the door behind them. Dirt stands up and holds his hand out to me. I take it, and we slap each other on the back. “My man. What the fuck brings you to these parts?” He sits back in his leather chair and grabs the lit cigar from the gold ashtray. I sit in the chair across from him and slide a piece of paper across the mahogany desk. “I’m calling in my favor.” With raised eyebrows, he unfolds the paper and studies it for a second. “Who’s the girl?” His guess is spot-on, even though the paper mentions nothing about her. “The only one I’d do this for.” “You want me to take out both of them?” He nods at the names written on the paper. I want to be the one to take their asses out, so I shake my head. “If you happen to stumble upon them, I won’t be mad about it. But really, I just need you to do what you do best. Dirt nods; he didn’t get his nickname for no reason. He buries people. Makes them vanish. “Let me see her.” When I hesitate, he shakes his head. “You know I’ll just find out for myself.” Taking out my phone, I scroll through and find a picture I took of her when she was at her computer one day. Her hair’s up in a messy bun, and she’s chewing on the end of a pen. Fuckin’ sexy as hell. I hand it over to him, and he whistles. “Know how to pick ’em.” I nod but don’t answer. He passes the cell back and then stubs out the orange embers hanging off his cigar. “When do you think you’ll be needing my services?” “Soon.” “You know I’ve got eyes all over me, brother. Just because you were on the other side of the law once don’t mean they ain’t gonna be all over your ass for this impromptu visit.” “I’ll take care of it.” He sighs and points at the picture on his desk of him and his sister. “She still has nightmares. Still sees him. Her scars make her think she ain’t beautiful.” Fuck. I was hoping he wouldn’t go here. “Lenny, man. Don’t—” “Fuck that.” I look him square in the eye. “I was doing society a favor. If you didn’t do it, he woulda gotten shanked.” “But I wouldn’t have gotten the revenge I needed.” I nod in agreement. “I had a sister. I would have done the same thing.” I will never forget the amount of blood I walked in on that night. I was a rookie, first few months on the force. Could have destroyed my career. But even as a newbie, I knew who this girl was and how powerful her brother was on the streets. Revenge was inevitable. Dirt swallows. “He cried”—a menacing laugh bubbles up his throat—“like a little bitch. Pussy ass motherfucker. He actually offered me money... like that would take away the fact he... that he cut her up with the same knife he held against her throat while he fucking broke her spirit.” I literally have to swallow the vomit in my throat as I remember. I was the first to arrive, the closest to the scene. “I thought she was dead. Once the medics loaded her up, I puked my guts out. Never seen something so brutal. He needed to stop breathing.”

“I still don’t know how you found him.” I shrug. “I have my ways.” It really was luck, but to play that card would be a mistake; it’d show weakness. After she was taken to the hospital, I interviewed the neighbors in the worn-down housing development and got a description. Fear this fucker could get his sick hands on my own sister drove my determination to find him. Dirt was just a little faster than me. “You kept your word. After all these years.” Nodding, I agree. When I traced the man, Paul, back to his place, a dilapidated shack in the middle of nowhere, I was alone. Or at least I thought I was. I couldn’t sleep, knowing this sick bastard was out there. I had an unhealthy desire for justice; it was so stupid. I could have gotten caught, but fury outweighed the consequences. When I entered Paul’s house, I found Dirt sitting on a chair, watching as the bastard looked at me with relief, as if I would help him. I’ll never forget the words Dirt said. “I haven’t done anything yet, but if you need a reason to arrest me, here ya go.” Then he tossed a knife across the room, and it stuck in the fucker’s stomach. He cried out against the gag in his mouth. I squatted down next to Dirt, unafraid of the man’s merciless reputation. When I met him at the hospital I had to hold him back from barging through the door to see his sister while she was in surgery. He lost his shit in front of me, and I shielded him from everyone else in the hospital. Just like then, all I see is a big brother’s love for his sister. “Make it hurt.” I told him as I stood up and clasped him on the shoulder. Dirt’s eyes actually showed surprise, and he nodded. “If you can’t make him disappear, that’s on you. As far as I’m concerned, I was never here.” It took only two steps before I was in front of Paul. I flexed my neck side to side, and then beat the shit out the sick bastard, finally stopping with a foot to his crotch. Dirt nodded at me on my way out. “Marker, brother.” I don’t know how many more beatings he took from Dirt before he was finally killed, but as far as I’m concerned, it wasn’t enough. His body was never found. That memory always makes my gut churn. So here I am, calling my marker in now. “My girl, she was…” I don’t want to say the words. “Fuck. Which one?” “Older guy, Norman.” “What’s with the other one?” “He’s not right in the head. But given that he’s a fuckin’ lunatic, I’m going to stop him before he gets the chance.” “Let me make you a deal.” Dirt holds up the paper. “I’ll take the old guy, show him my own form of justice, then bring him to ground.” “He’s a ghost.” “I’ll find him.” I sigh. “Fine.” I’d have no problem killing the bastard, but I’d rather spend my time lovin’ on my woman than dirtying my hands even further. “When you’re ready for me to make the other fucker disappear, call me.” He slides a burner phone to me. “Only one number on there. Just tell me a location, and I’ll be there.” My neck cracks when I twist it. I stand and grab the phone then tuck it into my pocket. Dirt comes around the desk and clasps me on the shoulder. I meet his eyes and understanding flashes between us. “Make it hurt.”

Chapter 19 Mellie

My knees bounce, and Erik shakes his head at me. “Stop worrying.” “Where the hell did he go?” “He’ll be back.” “He’s not answering his ph—” The garage door opens and the alarm beeps, then the door to the kitchen opens. When Smith walks in, I hold myself back from running to him because I’m not sure if I want to hug him or hit him. “Where were you?” “You’re up early.” He shrugs out of his jacket, and the glint of metal shines when his shirt rises. “Where were you?” He ignores my question and nods at Erik as he stalks toward me. When he gets close enough to touch, I lose my anger and lean into him. He tucks me close and kisses the top of my head. “Why do you smell like weed?” “How do you know what that smells like?” He’s probably surprised. “I was a normal high schooler at one point.” His chest rumbles. “I’ll go change.” “Where the hell did you go?” When he tries to pull away, I hold him tighter, afraid to let him go. He sighs and lifts me up. I wrap around him like a damn monkey, and he carries me upstairs. In the bedroom, he kicks the door shut and then lays me down on the unmade bed. His nose brushes against mine. “Do you know how much I fuckin’ love you?” An immediate rush of water hits my eyes. He’s never said it to me. He’s showed me, but the actual words have never been spoken. “Yeah?” “Yes, Mellie. I really do. And because you’re mine to take care of, that means I take care of you.” Oh, God. “What did you do?” “Don’t worry about it. That’s the whole point. You don’t need to worry.” He kisses my lips. “Smith.” The protest comes out as a moan because he slides his hand up my shirt. “Mellie,” he mocks. “You can’t distract me with your sexy moves.” He chuckles and does something with his mouth against my neck that makes my words null. I go flying through the air, end up straddling him, and he pulls us toward the head of the bed where our faces align. When he pushes me against him, I move to get the friction I was apparently looking for. He continues moving his hands all over me. Sliding down my legs, he squeezes my thighs then skims back up to tease my breasts. He even cups my butt for a moment but distracts me from where his gentle hands are by sucking on my nipple through the thin cotton of his t-shirt I threw on. I move over him, side to side and up and down, even in circles. “Smith,” I whisper against his ear, since my head has fallen forward. He makes me too weak to even hold myself up. “Yeah.” He grunts. “This feels really good.” “I know.” “So good.”

“Wanna make it feel even better?” “I don’t think it can.” He lifts me off his lap, and I mewl in protest. “One sec.” When he reaches for his button fly, I draw in a breath. “Not too fast, right, baby?” “Right.” He kicks them off and slides my waistband down. I trust him, so I awkwardly remove the stretchy pants. As soon as they’re gone, he pulls me back down and moves me back and forth, his hands spanning my hips. “Oh, wow,” I sit up and balance with my fingers gripping into his shoulders. His mouth is slightly parted, but he manages a little smile. “Told ya.” “You’re so hard.” He grunts and pushes up. I put my hands on his wrists and watch him maneuver my body, using me to pleasure himself yet giving it just the same. The tip of his cock peeks out, and I moan at the sight. Removing one hand from his arm, I use my index finger to rub small circles on the angry head. “You’re so fuckin’ beautiful, Mellie.” His voice is full of lust and pain, almost. I push myself off him, and he squeezes his eyes closed. He doesn’t see me remove my now soaking wet underwear, and when I reach for the waistband of his, his eyes shoot open. “What are you doing?” “I want to do that like this.” I straddle him again, and when my core meets his, the heat between us is almost too much. “Goddamn. Your pussy’s on fire, baby.” “I know. For you.” “Damn. Ride me, Mellie.” I slide myself up and down, slow and soft, teasing him as he’s done to me. The muscles in his jaw tense. Does he not like this, too? “I want you to like it, too.” “Fuck, woman. I love it. Do you feel how hard you make me?” I press my lips together and shyly slide to the tip. I lean forward and angle myself, so he’s right at my entrance. I’m so wet he almost slides away from it, but I push, so he slides in a bit. “What are you doin’, Mellie?” “I don’t know.” “You want it inside, baby, or you just wanna play?” “I don’t know.” God, what am I doing? “Then that means no, sunshine.” He pulls away, and I grip him in protest. I’m so close, and it just feels so good, I don’t want him to go away. “Let me show you something. If you don’t like it, then we can do something else, okay?” I nod, and he gently rolls me over and kisses the life out of me before falling back on his heels and pulling me closer, so I’m center with him. “You liked it right here?” He presses the tip barely inside. God, I thought more of him was in before when I did it. How is it going to all fit? I’ll worry about that when it’s time. Right now, this is perfect. “Uh-huh.” “I do, too. You’re so tight. So hot. So fucking wet.” He slides it out, and I whimper. But then he puts it back. And does it again. And again. When I’m squirming, he slides his velvety hardness through my folds then taps it against my clit. I scream. So he does it again. “Oh, my God.” I think he enjoys torturing me. “You’re gonna make me come any minute now, baby. You ready to go with me?” “Oh, my God, yes.” He leans over me, reaches down, and slides his hardness between my slick folds. His body is moving like he’s actually inside me, and in a matter of seconds, I shatter against him. He mumbles something in my ear, and I grab his arms, digging my nails into them as the sensations peak.

He continues his steady movements, but then they become erratic, and he pulls back just in time to come all over my stomach. His hand pumps his cock as the last drops fall out, and I pant as I come down from my spiral of ecstasy. He collapses next to me and kisses my heated cheek. Our fingers link between us and a few minutes go by while we come down from that orgasmic high. I don’t want him to think he can get away with avoiding my question by being sexy, so I ask him again. “Where did you go?” He sighs and mumbles something like stubborn under his breath. “I went to talk to a guy. I don’t want to lie to you, but I also want you to feel safe with me.” “What guy?” “That’s as much as you’re going to get, Mellie. I might love you, but I’m not gonna give you any more, so stop asking.” “Fine.” I stomp to the bathroom and slam the door. Before I even have a chance to clean myself up, he’s in my face. “Don’t do that shit.” “What shit?” I cross my arms and lift my chin. “Storm off all pissed off. It’s my job to protect you, and if that means keeping some things from you, then that’s exactly what I’m going to do. But I’ll be damned if you give me shit for it.” He props his hands on his hips, finally releasing a breath. “Please just let me take—” “Care of me, right? God, Smith. I’ve been taken care of since I was seventeen!” He slashes his hand through the air. “This conversation, about you and your safety, is not up for discussion. And it never will be, so stop pushing me.” Am I a child now? “Excuse me?” “Stop being so stubborn. You know what I mean, babe.” “All I’m asking is for you to tell me where you went.” “And I told you.” “You’re being secretive,” I whisper-shout. I hate not knowing what’s going on. “I know. And there’s a reason for it. I’m doing what’s best and safest for you. So please”—he holds my face between his hands—“please just trust me on this.” My anger melts away when he turns all sweet and caring. I know he’s looking out for me, but I just hate that I’m kept out of the loop. It’s my life, my stalkers… “I don’t want you to do something that can get you hurt or in trouble.” “I’m not.” “Promise.” His answer is a gentle kiss. “Take a shower. I’ll be downstairs.” “Okay.” My hair sits atop my head in a messy bun, and I quickly wash and then get dressed. When I make my way downstairs, both Erik and Smith have passed out. Erik’s hanging half off the couch, and Smith is in the ratty brown recliner. ESPN echoes in the quiet space, and I cover my mouth from the laughter fighting to get out. They’re so cute; I have to snap a quick picture. While making a pot of coffee, I open my laptop and begin to work. Within the hour, they both wake up, and Erik disappears upstairs to take a shower. Smith pours himself a cup of coffee and scrolls through his phone. “Fuck.” “What?” “The fuckin’ cabinet guy is there, but the order isn’t right.” “Oh. Is there anything I can do?” “No.” He kisses the top of my head. “I’ll just hop in the shower and head over there real quick.”

“Okay.” Once he makes his way upstairs, I get up for a second round of caffeine. As I’m about halfway through, Smith kisses me before he leaves, and Erik comes down, pours himself a bowl of cereal, and sits next to me. He flips through a magazine, and I edit. My email notification chimes, so I open it up, not paying attention to the sender. When you can’t give a man what he needs, he’ll either take it or get it somewhere else. When I click on the attachment and a picture of Smith walking into a strip club fills the screen, I immediately feel sick to my stomach. I push back from the island and slam my laptop shut. Breathe, breathe. “Mellie?” Erik stands. “I’m, um, I just need to use the bathroom.” “What’s wrong? Are you sick?” “A little. I... I’ll be back.” I rush to the bedroom. My bedroom? Our bedroom. I don’t even know. Shit. I don’t know anything. He’s going to strip clubs? I know that was him. Pictures don’t lie. He does, though. No, he doesn’t. He doesn’t lie. He loves me. “Mellie?” Erik steps into the room and next to the bed where I’m sitting. “You okay?” “Why would Smith go to a strip club?” Apparently, I have horns or something growing out of my head, because that’s how Erik is looking at me right now. “Someone just sent me a picture of him walking into a strip club. It was last night. I know it was.” “He wouldn’t ever cheat on you, if that’s what you’re thinking.” “Yeah? How do you know?” “Because he loves you.” “Yeah, well.” I cross my arms. “Who was the picture from?” “I don’t know. I didn’t even look.” “Mellie…” I feel even sicker now, and we both rush downstairs. I flip open the screen and have to type my password three times because my hands are shaking so badly. When I pull up my email and see the return address, I scream. “No. No, no, no.” Suddenly, another message pops up. Erik opens it and clicks on the attachment. Another one comes, and he does the same. I rush to the sink and heave into the silver bowl. I hear the ping of my email, again and again, each time causing more and more coiling in my stomach. “Make it stop.” I hold my hands over my ears and slide to the ground. “Motherfucker.” The beeping stops, but Erik’s angry voice fills the air. “Get your ass back here. Now. Physically, yes, just hurry the fuck up.” He sits next to me and pulls me close. I see the images in my head again and again. “He was there. He was there.” I shake, the realization of how close he’s gotten causing straight up terror to slice me open. “Shh, you’re okay now. He’s just trying to scare you.” “Well, it’s fucking working.” “I’m sorry, Mellie. Jesus, I’m so sorry.” I sit on the floor with Erik and try to control the convulsions I’m having, but every minute or so, one courses through me. When the front door slams against the wall, I jump. “Mellie?” Smith appears before me and scoops

me up into his arms. “What happened?” Erik stutters. “What the fuck happened?” “Pictures,” I croak out. “What?” “Why don’t you let her lie down and I’ll show you.” “Show me what?” Smith grits out. I wish I had the strength to do something, but I’m so terrified I can barely breathe. I almost feel more violated now than before. How can that be when they were just pictures? “Trust me,” Erik says. Smith carries me to the recliner and lays me down. I close my eyes and flinch when he tosses a blanket on me and kisses my head. “I’m just going to be in the kitchen. I can see you from where I am, okay?” His footsteps fade away, and I squeeze my lids even tighter, but that doesn’t do shit; I just keep seeing the images over and over again.

Chapter 20 Smith

“Show me.” Erik nods and turns the laptop around. Her email is up. “Look at the sender name.” Mellicentlover69. “What the fuck?” “This was the first one she saw.” He opens it, and I read the sentence then hang my head when the image of me comes up. “Fuck.” “What the hell were you doing?” “Meeting a guy who’s going to help me find these fuckers.” Whoever followed me has bigger balls than I imagined. “Well, that’s not the worst.” Erik swallows and pauses before he clicks on the link. “This is going to make you want to go out and find this fucker and choke the air out of his lungs, but Smith, I’m telling you, warning you,”—he points over his shoulder at Mellie in the chair—“she’s going to need you. You’ve got to keep your shit together.” “Show. Me.” He finally pushes the mouse down and opens up the emails. Showing me the photos. Pictures of the asshole holding photos of Mellie’s naked body, with the tip of his dick on them and his fucking cum spilling out. My fucking woman getting dressed in the hotel. Naked. He had cameras in there. Then he went home, jacked off on them, and took a picture of that. Fucking sick motherfucking cocksucker. “Breathe.” Erik pats me on the back, and I release a deep breath. “I’m going to rip his goddamned dick off and shove it down his throat.” “She only saw the first couple, but she doesn’t know how many there are.” “I need a few minutes with her.” “I’ll hang out here. I don’t want to leave you two vulnerable right now, but I’ll be quiet.” He’s right. If I were to just hold her right now and comfort her, it’d put me in a weak position since this prick is getting bolder. I don’t know what he’s going to do next, but on the off chance he’s stupid enough to come here, I’d rather have Erik be on alert. “Thanks.” I climb in the recliner behind her and hold her so tightly I’m afraid I will hurt her. “He was there.” “I know.” “He was there.” “I know, baby.” “I don’t think I can... I can’t take care of myself right now, Smith. He’s going to kill me.” “No, he’s not,” I growl. “He’s not.” “I’m tired. So fucking tired. Can you just hold me?” “Yeah. I’ll hold you as long as you need me to.” She’s covered in a blanket and cocooned against me, but she still shivers. Mouse hops up and curls us against her, too. When Mellie’s breathing evens out, I slowly get up and start a reply to the first email. Telling the bastard that I will kill him when I find him. After realizing how stupid it would be to leave a trace like that, I delete it and slam the screen down.

“Are you going to call her brother?” Erik asks from the other side of the island. “No.” “You sure about that?” “I haven’t exactly been keeping him updated with everything that’s happened here. He’s focusing on his case right now. When he’s done, I will. Besides, I don’t even know which asshole is doing this. The neighbor seems like a creep, but he’s been out of town working. It’s gotta be Norman. He’s the one who’s missing.” “That makes the most sense.” A little time passes with us just sitting. I’m racking my brain, not really sure what I’m looking for or thinking about. She stirs in her sleep and calms down just as I’m about to get up to comfort her. “I need to get her out of here.” “What?” “I’ve gotta get her out of here.” “I heard you the first time, but what the hell are you talking about?” “You know what I’m talking about.” He rolls his neck. “It’s been seven years since anyone’s been there. How do you even know it’s still intact?” “Because... I, ah, I’ve been there since.” His eyes widen, and he stares at me in shock. My family’s cabin even further up north was the absolute best place in the world. We lived up there for months during the summers, and it’s where I have the best memories of my life. “When?” “I’ve gone up every July. Just for a few days. I also pay a guy to check on it a few times a year as well. My dad would be so pissed at me if I let that place fall apart. That’s the only reason I’ve been going.” “She’ll like it.” “Yeah.” I’m excited to share this with her. Even if it’s under these messed up circumstances, I want her to see this part of my life… Nobody else ever has. “I’m going to make some phone calls and pack a couple of bags.” Once upstairs, I grab a duffel and load it with stuff for me, making sure to pack some extra ammo. Then I grab her suitcase and throw in some clothes and her flowery smelling shower stuff. As I’m doing that, I call Nate and put him in charge of the rest of the renovations. I don’t give a shit what happens with the rest of it; I just want him to get it done. Then I call Gerald and let him know the latest and what I’m doing. He’s going to have someone come and try to trace the IP address from those emails in the meantime. Last, I call Jay, but he doesn’t answer. He’s going to freak out when he knows what’s going on, but not knowing where she is will kill him. So I give leave a brief rundown on his voicemail, even though I said I wasn’t going to. “Can you stay here and watch the house and the cat?” I ask Erik, when I get back downstairs. “Of course.” “He might get antsy and show up here. Be careful.” “If this fucker is as smart as you seem to think he is, it won’t be too difficult to find a cabin under your dad’s name.” “I know. But I’m prepared.” I load up my truck and then walk over to Mellie. “Hey, sleepyhead.” I rub her arm and wait for her to wake up. Her eyes fly open, and she sits up. “What’s wrong?” “Nothing. I wanna get you out of here.”

“Huh?” She rubs her eyes and scratches Mouse’s head. “Let’s get out of here for a few days.” “Where would we go?” “My family has a cabin up north. It’s about a three-hour drive.” She swallows and looks around the room for a moment before her eyes land back on me. “No.” “What?” “I want to go home.” The already furious blood coursing through my veins rushes through a little faster. “What are you talking about?” This is her home. With me. “I just want to go home. I want my brother.” A tear falls out of each eye, and she doesn’t bother wiping them off. “I’m sorry.” “Fine.” I stand and hold my hand out for her to take. “Let’s get Mouse’s stuff, and we’ll hit the road.” Erik must have heard because when I walk by him, he shrugs his shoulders. “What the fuck?” “What am I supposed to say? Tell her no?” “I feel ya. Man”—he shakes his head—“sorry, dude.” I grab Mouse’s crate, fill a box with the rest of her stuff, and toss everything in my truck. Erik meets me in the doorway with some cat food. “I’ll put this in the truck.” “Thanks.” Walking past him, I reach Mellie in the same spot she was before. “Ready?” “Yeah.” She stands and carries Mouse with her through the kitchen. Erik comes through the door just as she’s about to open it. She jumps about four feet and screams so loudly, Mouse jumps out of her arms and runs away. “Mouse, no.” She chases after her and trips running up the stairs. I hurry to the middle of the staircase and lift her up. Her forehead has a nice bruise on it, along with a little cut, and the blood mixes with her tears. “I can’t do this.” She sucks in a shaky breath and wipes her face. “I just want to go home.” Every time she says the words, they slice through me. “I know. I’ll get ya there, but let’s clean up your pretty face first and then we’ll go, okay?” “Okay.” She lets me carry her to the bathroom and set her on the counter. I hand her a tissue, and she wipes her eyes. My first-aid kit is under the sink, so I pull it out. Pressing some gauze to her forehead, I then apply some ointment and a Band-Aid. She leans forward and rests her head on my chest and wraps her arms around me. Allowing her comfort and knowing she’s leaving is killing me, but I hold her as tight as I can and memorize the way she feels against me. “I’m sorry,” she whispers. “Don’t need to apologize.” She pulls away and heads downstairs, grabbing Mouse from the bed on the way. Erik hugs her in the kitchen, and when we get in the truck and pull out, she turns on the radio and looks out the window. Mouse meows from the carrier buckled into the back seat, but stops after a minute and sleeps. I keep my eyes on the road and continue checking behind me to make sure we’re not followed. Pushing aside my emotions, I focus on what I need to do and just drive. We’re only about an hour into the trip when she finally speaks. “I need to go to the bathroom.” “Fine.” “Smith?” “Yeah?” Her hand presses on my thigh and the cool temperature of her skin seeps through the fabric. “Are you mad at me?” “Nope.”

“Smith?” She sighs. “I’m sorry.” “Stop apologizing.” I pull up to a gas station in a little one-stoplight town and park next to a pump. “Do you want me to walk you in there?” I finally turn to look at her, and she blinks angry tears away. “No,” she snaps. “I’ll do it myself.” Her sassy butt hops from the truck and storms across the lot. I catch up to her and grab her hand. She tries to pull away from me, but it only makes me pull her closer. “Stop it.” “Let me go.” “Mellie, relax.” “There a problem over here?” A bearded man walks our way and spits out a string of black on his way. “No, there’s not.” I ignore him and focus on my girl because that’s what she is, my girl. Mine to take care of, mine to love, and mine to protect. “I’ll go in with you, okay?” She shakes her head and sniffles. “Everything is happening, and I’m scared, and I want to run away with you, but I want to stay, and I want to go back home. I’m so sick of crying. But mostly, more than anything, I don’t want you to be mad at me. I can’t have you mad at me now, too.” Her words run into each other, and I pull her even closer to show her that I’m not upset with her. “I’m not, baby. I’m mad at the situation and that I have to lose you, but I understand—” “Best let her go, man.” Today is so not the day to fuck with me. “Listen.” He’s now on my right side, so I turn to look at him. “I’m not hurting her. You can leave. Now.” “Think the lady can speak for herself.” He crosses his beefy arms over his beer belly and nods at Mellie. “He’s, uh…” she stutters, clearly uncomfortable under his inspection. “He’s not hurting me. We’re fine.” I’m so not in the mood to deal with this fucker right now. I silently follow her inside, and when she comes out of the restroom, I lead her back to the truck and help her into it without filling up. There’ll be another gas station somewhere else down the highway. When I get back on the road, I take my cell out of my back pocket and toss it on the dash. She apologizes again. “Why do you keep saying that? I told you, it’s fine.” “Because you’re lying. I know you, Smith. You might not think I do, but I do.” I tighten my hands on the steering wheel. “I’m fucking pissed, okay? I’m furious that you’re leaving me. But I love you so damn much that if letting you go is what you need, I’ll do it.” “I want you to stay with me, but I can’t ask you to uproot your life until he’s caught.” Everything that’s happened today has been like a cyclone, and I’m spinning in circles so fast I don’t even know which way is up. “If that’s what you wanted, I’d do it.” “I don’t know what the right thing to do is.” I reach over and hold her hand in mine. Hell, I don’t know what to say to her right now. Her decisions must be hers, not what she thinks will make me happy. “I want more than anything for you to be happy and feel safe. That’s what you need to worry about right now, okay?” “I’m just so scared, and I don’t want you to get hurt and—” “That’s what you’re worried about? Me? Mellie, that’s the last thing that should be crossing your mind.” “It’s not, though. I don’t want to lose you. If something happened to you because of me. If he got to you first, I don’t know what I would do. I’ve already lost—” She stops talking when sirens blare behind us. “Fuck.”

“What is going on? Are you speeding?” “No. Dammit.” I slam my hand on the steering wheel and pull over. In a town this small, I know exactly why I’m getting pulled over. I’m totally out of the familiarity of my city, and I’m scared as fuck she will be left alone. Rolling down my window, I wait for the officer to approach, and when I look in the mirror, I see he’s already got his gun drawn. Fuck. “Sir, I’m going to need you to step out of the vehicle.” “Can I ask what this is about, officer?” “There was a complaint about an altercation at the Mobil down the street. Witnesses say you were threatening this woman and got violent with her.” “He didn’t. He—” “Shh.” I shake my head at Mellie. “Sir, out of the vehicle.” With my fingers on the door handle, I turn to her. “Call Erik and tell him where you are. Can you drive back to my house okay? Put the address in the GPS and turn around. Don’t stop anywhere, just go straight back there; there’s enough gas. Erik can meet you halfway.” Her lips are quivering, and I’ve never seen someone’s eyes so large. God-fucking-dammit! “Now, sir!” “Give me a damn minute. Baby, answer me, please.” “Yes. I can.” “I know you can. You’re strong, Mellie. You can do it.” “Sir.” The officer’s voice gets louder, and I open the door. Without looking at him and still trying to assure her everything will be okay, I step out and keep my hands raised. The butt of his gun presses into my neck, and he wraps a handcuff around one wrist then yanks that arm down. This is not protocol, so what the fuck? I’m about to say something when he attaches the other side of the cuff to a metal ring in the bed of the truck. “What the fuck?” He steps back and removes his hat then takes off the aviators he’s wearing. Mellie screams, and he shakes his head at her. When he turns his head and I see a scar in the shape of a lightning bolt on his neck, it fucking plows into me like a damn freight train. Shit! “Shh,” he scolds her. “You sick motherfucker.” I pull at the handcuffs and rip my skin open, but nothing budges. I’m so fucking stupid. Goddammit! “Come with me, Mellicent, and I won’t kill him.” His gun is still trained on me. “Don’t you fucking do it, Mellie.” “What are you going to do, Mellicent? Drive away and drag him?” An evil laugh erupts from him. “No, you’re going to come with me like a good girl.” My arm feels like it’s going to fall off, but I keep pulling. I’ll never stop fighting for her. Either I’ll break my hand or the metal on the truck will weaken eventually, right? Between watching what he’s doing and keeping an eye on her, I see her reach toward the glove box where I have a pistol, and I smile internally at how smart she is. “Reach in there, and I’ll shoot him. I swear I will!” He shouts at her, causing her to cry harder as she shakily brings her finger to the button to open it. “Grab the gun, baby. Shoot his fucking head off.” Just as I say it, a bullet of fire spears through my leg. For a moment, all I see is black from the pain. The weight of my body falls towards the ground, but my cuffed arm acts like a boomerang and yanks me back up.

Mellie screams, and Norman laughs. “I told you I’d do it. Get out of the truck and come with me, little one. I need to know you want to be with me as much as I want to be with you, but you need to be the one to come to me this time. Whether he survives is up to you.” I blink while the world comes back into focus just in time to see her lift her hand enough to show she’s conceding. I continue pulling at the cuffs and the truck so hard it shakes. “No!” She slides across the driver’s side seat and her foot comes out first, then her legs, and finally, her red face and watery eyes. “No, baby. Don’t. Please, God, don’t.” The pain in my arm is nothing compared to my thigh that’s sporting a fucking hole with a river of blood flowing out, but I’ll fight for her until I’m dead, so I keep using any strength I have left. The second her feet even hit the ground, he grabs her and pulls her back against his chest. She squeezes her eyes closed, and he places a hand flat on her stomach. Silently, tears pour down her face. When he slides his hand lower and puts it over the crotch of her jeans, her knees buckle, and he laughs as he pulls her up with one hand. “You’re so worth the wait.” “Don’t you fucking touch her! Get your sick motherfucking hands off her!” I scream and pull and do every fucking thing I can. The blood drains out of my leg the more I move, and I feel lightheaded. “I’m going to kill you,” I growl at him. Mellie opens her eyes and looks at me as he’s pulling her away. “Mellie!” “I’m so sorry,” she whispers. God, I can barely hear her, she’s so quiet. I’m sorry, she mouths, right before he shoves her into the backseat of the police car.

Chapter 21 Mellie

If I were to guess, I’d say we’ve been in this car for five minutes, even though it feels like five hours. We’re in a parking lot behind an abandoned building. The only other thing in sight is a van. “Time to go, sweet cheeks.” He opens the back door of the police car, and I kick my feet. He got me away from Smith, but now, it’s my turn to fight. No matter what happens, I did my best to get Norman away from him. It’s not Smith’s fault this horrible part of my life came back with a vengeance. Awful things have been happening—the man on the porch, the flowers, the pictures—but the memories and fears in the box I kept hidden in the back of my brain didn’t want to believe they were true. That the nightmares could become a reality. This is my only chance. Once he gets me somewhere else, I’ll die there. I can’t let him take me. I won’t. I need to get back to Smith. I need to make sure he’s okay. He got shot because of me. “Leave me alone!” I scream and don’t stop kicking when he reaches into the car. “Now, now. You know I don’t want to hurt you.” God, those words. He grabs my ankles and tugs, but I grab the seat belt and pull against him. He yanks me harder because the tips of my fingers slide off the nylon as I’m being dragged toward him. I’m nearing the door, so I make one last ditch effort and latch onto the handle with both hands. “I said I don’t want to hurt you.” Then a throbbing hits my thigh where he kicks me. One hand loosens from the handle, and I desperately try to regain my grip. His foot pounds into my legs, and when I think it can’t get worse, he only does it harder. I can’t hold on anymore, even though I know it’s a death sentence when I let go. My nails are tearing from the beds of my fingers, and I hear a pop in my knee on the right side. My legs fall out of his grip and slam onto the concrete. I’m dumb enough to think I beat him, but when I turn to see what he’s doing, I’m met with his fist. * * * My head throbs and my legs are so unbelievably sore I can barely move them. I try to bend them, and when I finally straighten them, the muscles burn. When I lift my arms to stretch, they rub against a soft material. I squint an eye open and am hit with a sick version of my nightmare come to life. I sit up and cover all directions of my old room I can with my eyes before I turn my head and look around. My old bedroom. Every detail, every picture, even the dirty clothes I had thrown on the floor that night… It’s like he took a picture of the place and replicated it. Except for the bars on the window, the padding on the walls, and the locks on the door, which signify what this room means. Locked inside a horror story, where in a sick twist of fate, I end up where it all started. Just as bile rises from my stomach and burns its way up my throat, the door opens. Norman stands there with a TV tray. “Morning. Did you sleep well?” “Fuck you.”

“Oh, no. A pretty girl like you shouldn’t use that kind of language.” “Fuck. You.” I jump up from the bed but then have to hold on to the wall to keep from collapsing. I lean with one leg partially off the floor to prevent the shooting pain. He throws the tray against the wall and runs at me. I dodge his attempt to get his sick hands on me, but he sticks out a foot, and I fall on my face. The already sore area of my forehead hits the ground, and I whimper as my head buzzes. It takes a moment, but I scream. He kicks the door shut. “Scream all you want; nobody can hear you now.” I turn my head and scream directly in his ear and try to hit him. “Dammit, Mellicent.” He pulls me up, and I struggle, but my strength is diminishing with the outcome of this horrible situation. “Look what you made me do.” When he pushes me onto the bed, I squirm to get away, and one of his long fingernails scratches me. He licks his dirty thumb and reaches for my face. “Don’t touch me.” I swat his hands away and lift my good leg to kick him, but he straddles me and pinches my cheeks between his fingers. “I need to clean you up. Sit pretty for me.” His wet thumb wipes across my face, and when he pulls it away, I see my blood on it right before he sticks it back in his mouth and sucks on it like a baby. Since he’s distracted, and because my head is already killing me, I swing it forward and push my legs up to get him off me. My head connects with his nose, and he flies off the bed. My muscles are throbbing, and my heart can’t keep up with how fast my blood is flowing through my veins, but it’s now or never. I reach the door, rip it open, and run through the kitchen, only to find the exit locked from the inside. I do a quick count of at least four locks before I backtrack, just to run into Norman. He places a rag over my face, and before I even have time to fight him off, I fall to the ground. * * * If the light from outside is any indication, three days and nights have passed. I get no response when I bang on the walls and scream at the top of my lungs. I sit in this room on the bed, not sure if it’s the exact one we left behind when Jay got rid of the apartment, and stare at the door in defeat. I haven’t eaten or drunk anything other than a bottle of water he threw at me yesterday and a piece of bread he slid under the door the day before that. I try not to focus on thoughts about Smith or Mouse. Only ways to get out. But I’m weak, tired, hungry, afraid, and so damn sad that I can barely even keep my eyes open. Norman has become the person he’s always wanted to be. Someone I need. He’s toying with my head and making me believe I need him to stay alive. So when keys jingle outside the room and the handle turns, he will expect me to be happy to see him. I have to play along. “Hi,” I say, before he comes in all the way. The momentary shock on his face is a bonus for me because he wasn’t expecting that. “Hello.” “I’m really hungry. Can I please have something to eat? And some water?” He walks in wearing new clothes—khaki pants and a white sweater. I instinctively flinch when he reaches for my face. “I’m not going to hurt you. I don’t want that.” Liar. “I know.” “Good.” With his index finger, he pushes some of my hair away from the side of my face. “Such a pretty face. I hate that there’s a mark on it.” I’m not a psychological expert, but I’m sure I’ll have a better chance of getting out of here if I play to his weaknesses. Since I’m physically unable to fight him, I have to use mental strength. “I’m sorry I made you do that to me.”

“Yes. I know.” He gently pats my cheek. “Would you like some soup?” “Please.” “Okay. I’ll be right back.” If a smile is what I think I just formed on my face, it must have looked hideous, but he accepts it and walks out. The door is still open, but knowing now that my escape routes are locked, I must find a different way. A window or a fire escape or something. With what little strength I have, I push to my feet and bend my sore knee. Standing in the archway of my door, I call his name. “Yes, dear?” I shiver at the way he talks so naturally. “Can I eat at the table?” “Of course. Come join me.” Before I sit, I try to see if there’s something, anything, to help me, but I come up short. I step into the kitchen and hold the back of a chair. “I’m going to use the restroom if that’s okay.” “Be fast. Otherwise, your supper will get cold.” “Okay.” “I’d tell you where it is, but I’m sure you remember, right?” “Yes.” I try to close the door behind me, but when I reach for the knob, I discover nothing but hinges. Bastard. Right when I sit down on the toilet, he comes and stands across from me in the hallway. “Do you need something?” I ask. “No. Just waiting for you.” “I’ll be right there.” Forcing the words to come out somewhat pleasant is torture. “I’ll wait.” Fuck it. I had to piss in a corner for three days. I don’t know if having him watch me pee is any more or less degrading, so I have at it. I finish up, and he takes my hand as we walk into the kitchen, where he pulls out my chair for me. I hate to admit that the soup from a can tastes like a five-star meal, but I slurp it down as fast as my body will let me. He hands me a bottle of water, and I sip it, knowing if I drink too fast, I’ll vomit. Plus, the faster I’m done, the sooner he’ll continue with whatever he has planned.

Smith The throbbing in my leg is dull in comparison to the ache in my chest. It’s been three days since I watched her drive away with a madman. Three days I’ve thought about how fucking worthless I am. Every time I close my eyes, I replay the whole incident over and over and want to put a bullet in my other leg for being such an idiot. A car finally, after about twenty minutes, drove down the highway and pulled over to help me. I wasn’t even able to hold myself up from the blood loss, and by the time the paramedics got there, I had lost consciousness. Next thing I knew, I was waking up in a hospital room. They took the bullet out of my leg and stitched me up. Luckily, I have no permanent damage. I called Jay when I could and fought with the doctors and nurses to get out so I could go find my girl. The police came, and since Norman shot and nearly killed the officer whose police car he hijacked, they know the severity and have been working nonstop with Jay and me to find evidence. Jay is surprisingly calm, but I know better, and I’m waiting for him to explode. Waiting for him to beat the shit out of me for letting this happen. Telling him that she was taken right in front of me and I couldn’t do anything about it, is the absolute lowest I’ve ever felt in my life. Aside from when it actually

happened, of course. Nothing will ever allow me to forgive myself for letting that happen. We’re in a hotel room, and the tension suffocating me is less than I deserve, but until I find her, I’ll continue to have trouble breathing. Erik came down and took Mouse back home, and I snuck away for a minute and called Dirt with an update and a plea to help me find Mellie. “God-fucking-dammit!” Jay punches the wall and bangs his head against it. “How can they just fucking vanish?” He hasn’t slept in probably a week. Came here fresh off his other case and right into this black hole. There’s nothing more I can say. If I allow myself to think about what he could be doing to her or the pain she’s in… I can’t even let myself, because I’ll lose focus completely. I need to bring her back and put every ounce of energy into that effort. Search dogs came up empty. News stories turned up zero tips. There’s nothing. She’s fucking gone. But I’m not giving up. I never will.

Chapter 22 Mellie

We’re just finishing breakfast the next morning, and I feel much better than I did yesterday. I actually slept for three hours straight, and my body is soaking up the nutrition from the meals I’ve eaten. After last night, we sat on the couch and watched movies. Or he watched them; I blocked them out so I could try to come up with a plan. He made me lie with my head in his lap, and he played with my hair the entire time. His fingers occasionally trailed down my body, over my butt, and each time he did, I gagged. I don’t know what he will do or when he will escalate, but I’m preparing myself for murder. I thought it would be easy. When I had nightmares and all the times I damned him for making me the way I was, I imagined killing him. It was easy to picture it, standing over his body and watching the life drain out of him, but with him so close... it’s scarier than I thought. He’s a living human. A person clearly mentally insane. No. I can’t think like that. If I don’t kill him, then he’ll kill me. I have to keep that as the main thought in my head. So I take a breath through my nose and continue to work on a plan. He’s fucking stupid, honestly, because he’s letting me eat with silverware and providing me with energy. I’m just waiting for the right time. And the right time is now. When he stands to put his dishes in the sink, I grab my plate and slide the fork between my underwear on my hip when his back is turned. “I can do the dishes.” “Thank you, Mellicent. That’s a nice thing to do. See, this is all I ever wanted.” He stops right in front of me, smiling, and then slaps me across the face. I didn’t see that coming, so I stumble, but fall to the ground when he kicks me in the stomach. I scream at the excruciating pain in my ribcage, but he just kicks me again. “Do you think I’m stupid? That I wouldn’t see you? I see everything! I’m not stupid!” “No, I—” I shake my head and scoot as far away from him as I can but hit the wall and have nowhere else to go. “Liar!” he screams and grabs me by my hair. “Why do you continue to test me? I just want us to be happy together. That’s all I ever wanted.” I still have my weapon, so I reach for it, but he fights me and eventually rips the stainless steel out of my grip and throws it across the room. Both of his hands are in my hair now, and he pulls me down the hallway. He momentarily stops to pull out something metal from a cabinet, then continues dragging me. I grab his wrist and try to scratch him, but that doesn’t work, so I just and hang on, praying he doesn’t rip the hair straight out of my scalp. He tosses me next to the bed and grabs a pair of handcuffs from his pocket. Attaching one to the metal bed frame and the other to my wrist, he succeeds despite my efforts to ward him off. He leaves without a word, and through my screaming and crying, I hear him laugh as he closes the door. Dammit, I’m an idiot. I should have waited. Should have let him trust me more before I tried to fucking kill him. I sit up for as long as my body allows me before my head bobs forward. My brain is begging me to stay awake, but my aching bones and muscles are protesting. A deep and unwanted fear overtakes the pain and confusion; I will die here, and I never told Smith that I love him.

* * * Somehow, I’m back at Smith’s on the old highway. I’m sitting in the middle of the street, handcuffed to this bed watching the blood drain from his leg. His normally tan skin pales, and I reach out to him but can’t touch. He continues to fight against his restraint, but it doesn’t budge. Finally, he gives up as his body becomes limp. My eyes blur as I try to tell him how much I love him, but something’s in my mouth... a rag or something. Norman’s in front of me all of a sudden and he laughs. I rip at it the material in my mouth but can’t get it out. He just shoves it farther down my throat, and I gag as I gasp for air. Fighting to breathe, fighting to live. “Mellie. Wake up.” A voice stirs me from the awful dream I was having. Sleep has become such a catch-22. Each time I close my eyes, I’m blasted with the past and present colliding. What has happened, what could happen. “Mellicent, I’m here.” I’m poked and slowly I open my eyes. When Richard’s face is the only thing I see, I open my mouth to scream, but he puts a hand on it and tells me to be quiet. “Shh. Shh. I’m going to get you out of here.” With his other hand, he holds up a key. “I’m here. I saved you.” What in the ever-loving hell is going on? “Do you want to leave and come home with me?” “I want to get out of here, yes.” He tilts his head, and his eyes dart around the room before they focus on me again. “Do you want to come home with me?” I nod frantically and allow him to unhook the cuff from my wrist. Whatever I have to say to get out of here. I roll my joints and stand up as best I can, but Richard grabs me. I should be more concerned with why he’s here, but if he’s my means to escape, I’ll take it and run with it. “What’s going on?” “Shh.” He puts a finger to his lips. “I’ll explain later. Follow me. I’m here to save you.” I’m so desperate to get out of here, I do what he says and shut the hell up and follow him. When we walk into the hallway, a metallic smell bombards me. He reaches the kitchen before me, so when I slip on something and look down and see a crimson puddle at my feet, I slip even more from trying to get away from it. “It’s okay,” he assures me. Directly past him, the sight of Norman’s sliced up body makes the little contents of my stomach tumble. He’s lying on the floor with so many wounds; I only recognize him because his face is turned toward me and one eye stares back. “We need to call the police.” “Once we get out of here.” “No, stop.” I pull my arm out of his grip. “He’s dead. We need to call the police.” “We need to leave.” “Okay, okay.” I relent and gingerly walk to the cracked open door. I just want to get out of here. I plan to run when we get outside. My knee isn’t on fire anymore, and it may be a futile attempt, but I have to try. Just as he opens the door all the way, I find guns trained on us, and police officers scream. I raise my shaky hands and cry with relief when I see the CPD badges. It makes things so much worse that Norman actually brought me back to where I used to live, to where he assaulted me the first time. The similarities of the apartment made the last few days a special form of mental torture.

Richard tries to run past the cops, but one of them tackles him to the ground. As officers come in, one of them handcuffs me and then walks me outside, practically carrying me, since I’m still pretty weak. Bright red and blue lights flash, causing me to squint my eyes. “Please call my brother,” I beg. The beefy man shakes his head. “Can you tell me what happened tonight, ma’am?” “Call my brother. He’s a—” “I didn’t ask who your brother was. I asked if you could tell me why you were trying to escape a crime scene.” It’s about now that the weight of what happened sinks in. The adrenaline from the past ten minutes wears off, my legs weaken further, and my chest tightens. “Please call Jay.” I desperately want Smith, but I know I’ll have better results with my brother. And I’m worried. So worried that Smith didn’t make it. I’m not ready to hear that he died. Alone and bleeding as he hung from his truck because of me. “Who?” “My brother. Jay Jamison.” His eyes flash with familiarity. “Detective Jamison. You’re his missing sister?” “Yes.” My head falls back, and I slide down the side of the police car as he begins to frantically talk into his walkie-talkie. I’m only on the ground for a minute before I hear my name. “Get those fuckin’ cuffs off her.” Strong hands lift me and I flutter my lashes enough to see Brandon, Mary’s husband and Jay’s expartner. When the cold, tight metal slides off my wrists, Brandon lifts me and holds me like a baby. “ETA?” “One minute,” says the familiar voice of the officer who cuffed me. “Mellie, can you look at me?” After rapidly blinking, I stare into his soft blue eyes. “You’re okay now.” “I know.” “Everything’s going to be okay.” He carries me over to the street, just as an ambulance pulls up. Hands lift and set me on the stretcher, and I’m relieved that Brandon follows me into the ambulance and sits on the bench. The door slams shut and I jump, but Brandon gently rubs my upper arm. The top of my hand is poked, and a cool liquid courses through my veins as the paramedics ask questions and palpate my bones. I flinch when they get to my ribs. “I think he broke one,” I whisper. Brandon’s hand on my arm flexes. They touch the same spot again, eliciting the same response from me. “You know she’s hurt, dammit, stop fuckin’ touching her in the same place.” I laugh, and that makes the sore bone hurt even worse. “You sound like Jay.” “Yeah, well, he and I are a lot alike.” My head rolls to the side, and instead of looking at the ceiling, I look at Brandon. “Did you call him?” “No. I will as soon as we get to the hospital.” “Can you do it now, please?” He’s going to be worried, and I need him to know that I’m okay. “Sure.” He takes out his phone at the exact time we pull up to the hospital. “I’ll meet you inside, okay?” My throat hurts when I swallow. “Okay.” The next hours go by in a blur. They examined me, took x-rays, drew blood, and even asked for a urine sample. I changed into the set of scrubs I was given to wear and cleaned up a little bit. A female doctor approached me alone and asked if I was sexually assaulted. The joy of being able to say that I wasn’t made a fresh round of tears flow. Brandon’s been in to check on me. Since he knew me personally, he took himself off the case, but

another homicide detective would be in to ask some questions. Brandon told me the new detective was on his way, and then said he had to step outside for a minute. I stare at a blank television screen and finally relax a little bit. It’s amazing knowing I’m safe and how much more at ease I feel. I release my hands from the balls they’re in squeezing the sheets. My achy bones sink into the lousy hospital mattress, but it’s sure as hell of a lot more comfortable than sleeping on the floor with an arm cuffed to a bed. Sure, my body is sore. But mentally, I’m debilitated. I read something once that said that every morning we wake up open our eyes, it’s a second chance. So when I wake up this time, I definitely plan to live my life to its fullest. I’m done missing the first chances that passed me by. Sleep pulls me under just when there’s a knock on the door. Dammit. I don’t answer because I’m hoping they go away, but it opens and a man in a suit with a badge hanging from his neck enters. “Hi, Ms. Jamison. I’m Detective Smith. Is it okay if I ask you a couple of questions?” Smith. The thought that my Smith has a last name for a first name never registered before. I always thought it was such a cool and sexy name, but hearing it as a surname kind of makes it funny. I snicker, and it makes me jostle my ribs, so I reach down to hold them. Only one is broken, but four are bruised, and they hurt really, really bad. “Yeah, come in.” “Thank you.” He closes the door behind him and takes out a pad of paper. “Can you tell me what happened from the beginning?” I begin from the time Norman pulled us over and the moment I recognized him. “When Smith stepped outside the vehicle, I didn’t even realize it was Norman yet, but as soon as he tricked Smith and put a handcuff on him, Norman took off his sunglasses. I knew it was him then, but I... I couldn’t do anything.” “Why is that?” “Because I was scared. I freaked out, and by the time I was able to get the gun out—” “Whose gun?” “Smith’s. It was in the glove box. He threatened to shoot him, and I didn’t—” “Who is he? Please be more specific with the names, Ms. Jamison.” I bristle at his tone but continue anyway. I hope my brother doesn’t talk to victims like this. “Norman threatened to shoot Smith.” The moments after that are somewhat blurry, but I tell him what I remember. From the first night, how Norman locked me in the room and left me for days, to when he let me out and fed me dinner. “And then he grabbed me by the shoulder and pulled me down, so my head was resting in his lap.” “And you didn’t think to run away then?” “Of course, I did, but I was weak and had just eaten my first meal in like three days.” “Even with you having free rein in the apartment, you didn’t fight to get away?” He has no clue, and it’s pissing me off that he’s accusing me of, of... I don’t even know what. “I tried to get away and got locked in a soundproof room for three days where I had to piss in a fucking corner, you asshole. I was waiting for the right time. Don’t question me on why I didn’t choose that exact moment to try to escape.” “I’m not questioning you, Ms. Jamison, and I’d appreciate it if you’d refrain from the name-calling.” “And I’d appreciate it if you shut your fucking mouth before I do it for you.” I’m reduced to a blubbery mess when I hear my Smith’s voice. He and Jay are standing in the doorway, and Jay has his hand on Smith’s shoulder, pulling him back. “Relax,” he tells him. “I know I didn’t just walk into you blaming a victim, my sister, did I, Detective Smith?” Jay squares his shoulders at the detective, and Smith breaks free of his hold. My Smith makes a beeline toward me and purposely bumps into Detective Smith on the way. When he

reaches the bed, he sits on the edge and grabs my hand without an IV in it. “I’m not finished interviewing her, so if you two could just leave, I’ll be done shortly.” “You’ll leave now, and I will let you know when you can finish, got me?” I love my brother. “Are you honestly telling me you’re interfering in a homicide investigation?” Jay cracks his neck and steps toe to toe with him. “Watch yourself, Riley.” “Fuck you, Jay.” He glances at me, and Smith’s hand tightens on mine. He stands, but I pull him back down. “Both of you. Out. Now!” Brandon walks in and steps between the two, pulling a furious Jay back. “Jesus, Detective Smith, what in the hell is wrong with you?” He just shakes his head and walks out of the room as Brandon and Jay talk so quietly even I can’t hear them. Brandon clasps Jay on the shoulder then nods at me. “You doing okay?” “Yeah. Great. I didn’t even have to turn the TV on for entertainment.” All three men, whose testosterone is choking me, laugh. “Jesus, Mel. Scared the shit out of me.” Jay comes over and leans down between Smith and me. Without letting go of Smith’s hand, I wrap the other around my brother awkwardly and try not to wince at the pain in my side. “Can you move so I can hug my sister?” “No.” Brandon laughs again. “I haven’t formally met you. Brandon Parker.” “Smith Porter.” Jay kisses the top of my head before he stands. “Got a minute?” he asks Brandon. “Yeah, buddy.” Brandon waves at me. “Take care, Mellie. Nice to meet ya, man.” He and Smith do that chin lift thing guys do. “I’ll be right back, okay?” Jay says to us. “Okay.” He leaves, and when the door closes, Smith takes my face in his hands and brings his forehead to mine. The strong, determined man, whose love and commitment has never wavered, apologizes over and over as a single tear rolls down his face.

Chapter 23 Smith

The last time I cried was at their funeral. When their bodies were lowered into the ground and the final shovel of dirt thrown on their caskets was the last time I allowed a single tear to fall from my eyes. So it’s no surprise that seeing my girl brings me to tears. Mellie pulls me closer, and I long to wrap my arms around her, but I know she’s hurting. She mimics me and grabs the sides of my face. “It is not your fault.” “I watched him take you.” She knows what I’m thinking without me even saying it. “He shot you, Smith. God, he shot you. Put a hole in your body that could have killed you.” “I don’t care about me. He fucking took you from me and... I didn’t know if I’d ever get to see you again. If the last memory I’d have of you would be seeing you looking at me from the back seat in that fucking car.” She holds me still and gingerly crawls into my lap. We’ve been through enough to test an established couple, so anything from this point on will seem so damn minuscule. With each moment that passes, that has passed between us, I feel nothing but our relationship getting even stronger, and I know without a doubt she is it for me. I just pray that whatever happened to her doesn’t scar her any more. Especially since she was healing so well. When she hits the wound in my thigh, I cringe. “Shit, sorry.” She tries to pull back, but I don’t let her. “No, stay here. Stay close. God, I need you to be close.” “But your leg—” “I don’t give a fuck about my leg.” She adjusts herself so she’s still close but not directly on my injured thigh. I squeeze her, and she winces. “Shit, sorry.” “It’s okay.” She sighs. “I have a broken rib and a few bruised ones. We’re quite the pair, huh?” My body convulses thinking about how it happened. “What else?” “That’s pretty much it.” “Do you want to talk about it?” “No. Not right now. I just want you to hold me.” “I can do that, baby. I can do that.” She lies down, and luckily, our injuries are on the same side, so we’re not putting pressure on them. I wrap an arm around her and rest it gently after intertwining our fingers. My thumb rubs over the pulse point on her wrist, and as the beat steadies, mine does, too. “I was worried that I was going to die there without telling you that I love you.” “I love you, too. So, so much.” “See, I knew that. You’ve told me. But I never said the words to you.” Her finger traces over the bandages on my wrist where the flesh is raw from tugging at the handcuff. I had to get a few stitches to sew the skin back together. “I figured out why, though.” “Why what?” “Why I couldn’t say the words to you.” She shifts to her back and tries to toss the IV line out of the way. “When I was there, it’d been probably almost two days at that point, but when I was sitting there half-starved and beginning to hallucinate from dehydration, I realized that was my destiny. I was going to

die in that room. I had held out on telling you how I truly felt; I didn’t even want to admit it to myself, because I just knew he was going to cut my life short. But if I said it out loud, if I told you that I love you, then when it was taken away from me... it would be that much harder to lose.” “He can’t hurt you anymore.” My fingers run up and down her arm, but it’s just not close enough, so I lace them between hers. “The funny thing is it didn’t make it harder, because I already knew. I know that I’m so deeply in love with you. I just wish I would have said it sooner so you knew.” “I knew.” I smile and kiss her lips. “I knew.” “Good.” Her yawn is the perfect distraction, because I don’t need to cry in front of her again. And if she keeps being all sweet and telling me how much she loves me... even though it’s such an amazing feeling to hear those words again, I’ll lose my shit. “Get some sleep, okay?” I push myself off her bed, but she grabs me. “No. Stay, please.” “Okay.” “Thank you.” “You don’t ever have to thank me, Mellie. Any time I get to be near you or touch you is a gift to me. If anything, I should be thanking you.” Her eyes are closed, but the corners of her lips tilt up. “Such a charmer.” More than before, the desire to be close to her strangles me, so I lean down and kiss her again. She snuggles into me, and within twenty seconds, her lips part and she falls asleep. Jay walks in and quietly closes the door. “She asleep?” “Yeah,” I whisper back. “Now’s going to be the best time to tell you this since you can’t hit anything.” “Jesus, fuck.” I take a couple of deep breaths. He’s about to tell me the details. We didn’t know them on the way down here, and I’m afraid to hear them. “What?” “Richard White. Age thirty-seven. Diagnosed schizophrenic. But you knew that already. We also know that the woman he was living with is an ex-druggie who he saved from the streets. In his mind, he was like her father one day then her husband the next.” These things were all discussed, and details brought to light over the past three days. Richard was ruled out as a suspect because he had an alibi, one that I saw to by using Dirt for my eyes. With Norman missing for over a month prior to the kidnapping, we had no clue where he would go with her. Their old apartment was rented out years ago to whom Jay thought was an elderly couple. But it turns out it was Norman the whole time. He had a plan and was just waiting for the right moment to execute it. “Go on.” “The photos that were emailed to her?” My head dips to encourage him to go on. “Richard.” “The flowers?” I ask. “Richard. But he says he didn’t try to kidnap her off the porch, which means it was Norman like we originally thought.” “Fuckin’ A.” “Apparently, Richard saw her at the hardware store and followed her back to the house. From that moment, he became obsessed with her.” “I should have—” “Nothing more you could have done. He was slick and not easy to grab. Smart. When he ‘rescued’ Polly from the streets, he did the same to her. Followed her around to the houses she whored out at, took pictures, same shit.”

“Still doesn’t explain how he found Mellie.” “Tracking device on her phone.” “We tracked her phone. We got nothing.” “Yeah, because Norman shut it off. But the one Richard had put on her phone was external. Richard really was out of town on business, and when he came home and was interviewed, he tracked her on his own. Thought he was a hero or something.” “Dammit. How the hell did he…? Fuck!” I bite the inside of my cheek since my outburst made Mellie stir. “He picked the locks and snuck up on Norman in the kitchen. Stabbed him so many times the coroner is having trouble getting a final number, because the lacerations all kind of bleed into each other. No pun intended. Neighbor heard screaming, since Richard didn’t close the door all the way, and called it in.” “So one psychopath saved her from another?” He sighs and shakes his head. “Yeah. I’m not even going to get into how insane the entire situation is. I bet she’s never even edited anything this fucked up before.” “Actually, there was this one book, Insignificant,” Mellie speaks, and both Jay and I tense up. “A little girl was tormented by the man who killed her mother. She spent practically her entire life running. The things he forced her to do, the fear she lived in. There were so many twists and turns that I had to read through it before I went back and edited.” “How much did you hear, Mel?” Jay steps closer. “All of it.” She sits up, and I try to help her as I do the same. “I heard it, and I didn’t process it. But I heard it.” “Sorry, baby. I thought you were asleep.” She wraps her arms around herself. “I needed to know. And if you would have known I was awake, you wouldn’t have been as detailed. Right now, I feel okay. I actually feel free. And as sick as it sounds, I’m glad Norman is dead.” “That’s not sick. I would have broken his neck without a second thought.” Jay grunts and then tucks his hands in his pockets. “There are things I should say to you. To both of you. I need to apologize. I’ve been so absent, and I tried to be everywhere, but... I just couldn’t be.” “Can we get one thing straight right now, please?” Mellie asks. “Can we all just not put the blame on ourselves? It wasn’t anyone’s fault but Norman’s. He’s taken enough of my life and time and freedom, and I don’t want to waste another second on him. If I need to give statements or sign papers or whatever, I’ll do it. But I just want to move on. Can we do that?” Both Jay and I agree, but deep down, I know I’ll never just move on. Jay never will either. We’ll both carry the guilt around. But that’s our cross to bear. “I realize that I’m probably doing the wrong thing by letting everything go, or at least trying to, but I’m so damn tired of being tired. I just want to pretend for a bit, if that’s okay.” “Of course.” “Whatever you need.” Jay and I speak at the same time, resulting in a laugh from all three of us. A doctor walks in carrying a laptop and looks at us like we’re a little strange, given the situation. “Well, I certainly wasn’t expecting to walk in to a bunch of laughs, but I can say I’m pleasantly surprised.” “Sorry, Doc.” Jay sticks his hand out and shakes the doctor’s. “I’m Jay Jamison, Mellicent’s brother.” “Dr. Miner. Nice to meet you.” He shakes my hand as well when I stand up. “Smith Porter. The boyfriend.” Hopefully, that title will change soon, but for now, I’m happy just being hers. “Ah, well, it seems you’ve certainly got yourself surrounded by men who love you, Ms. Jamison.” He gently grasps her hand and untwists some IV line. “I do. I’m really lucky.”

The gray-haired man scrolls through some things on the computer screen. “Would you like some privacy while I go over some instructions?” “No, they can stay.” “Very well.” He pulls over a circular stool on wheels and sits close to her bed. “As you know, you have one broken rib and several bruised surrounding the area of impact. And aside from some dehydration when you initially arrived, I’m pleased to say you’re free to go. I’m prescribing pain medication. You’re sure to be sore and achy, so don’t hesitate to take them to get relief.” “I won’t.” “Now, I’m giving you the number to a phenomenal therapist. From the looks of things, you seem to be all right... right now. But I would highly recommend giving her a call and at least having a chat, okay?” “Sure.” I’m not sure she’s sold on the idea, but she takes the card anyway. She told me her last therapist didn’t do anything, other than tell her to count backward from ten when she had a panic attack. “Can you put this in your wallet?” I take it and glance at the name before sliding it behind my credit card. Elizabeth Reynolds The doctor leaves, a nurse comes in and has her sign some papers, then gives Mellie a prescription for pain meds before removing the IV. I push Mellie in the wheelchair outside to where Jay is waiting for us. He drives a Tahoe, so I lift her up and set her in the front seat then scoot it back a little so she can extend her legs and avoid pressure on her ribs. I hop in behind her, and wrap my arm around the seat so I can touch her. I need to touch her. My thumb sits on the side of her neck, and my fingers rub back and forth over the smooth skin of her collarbone. Jay drives us away from the hospital. When he doesn’t get on the interstate, she asks where we’re going. “Back home. To my house.” “Where’s your truck?” She tilts her head up and asks me. “Impound.” “What?” “They needed it for evidence, and I haven’t gotten it back yet.” She bites her lip and looks back out the window then turns to her brother. “Jay?” “Yeah?” “I don’t want to stay in Chicago. I want to go back home with Smith.” The silence in the cab of his SUV is so loud it almost hurts my ears. Jay’s fingers tighten on the wheel, and my hand stills against her skin. If I could stand up I would, so I could jump up and down. I thought for sure she would want to stay in Chicago, especially since we were headed down there when she was kidnapped. “Are you sure?” Jay barely gets the words out between his clenched teeth. “Yes.” She links her fingers between mine. “I’m sure.”

Chapter 24 Mellie

This might be the best decision I ever make, or I might regret it tomorrow. I don’t know, and frankly, I don’t care. Free of worry and threats, I want to finally be with Smith like I dreamed. That I’m sure of. “Fine,” Jay clips. “Jay…” “No, Mel. I understand. Really.” He gently pats my thigh then returns his hand to the steering wheel. “I couldn’t ask for you to be with someone better.” Smith squeezes my hand. “Thanks, man.” Jay turns on the radio, and when an old-school rap song comes on, they both try to sing along. Neither can keep up, and we all laugh. Carefree and loving it, I roll down the window and breathe in the fresh air. I end up falling asleep until we reach Smith’s house five hours later. Erik opens the front door, and before I can walk up the steps to him, he jogs down them and hugs me. “You okay?” “Yeah.” He removes his arms, and I pat his scruffy face. “I’m really good.” I don’t wait for anyone else and hurry inside so I can see Mouse. While the guys are all chatting, I sit on the couch and cuddle with her. Jay plops down next to me and wraps an arm around my shoulder. “Do you need me to stay?” “No. I mean, of course I’d love to have you around, but I understand that you have a life to get back to.” “Are you sure?” I scrunch my brows. “Yes, why?” Something’s up with him. “I’m gonna take off, then.” “Is everything okay?” “Nothing for you to worry about.” “Jay, if something—” “I’m fine. Everything’s fine.” He sighs and sinks into the couch. “You want the truth?” “Of course, I do.” “I need to get away. From everything. From Chicago, from work, from life.” Me. “Oh.” “Get that look off your face. It’s not you. But since you’re with that asshole,”—he nods at Smith, who is drinking a beer at the kitchen island—“I won’t feel guilty.” “Guilty for what?” “For leaving you.” “You need a break; trust me, I understand. Just don’t be gone too long, okay?” He wraps an arm around me and gives a gentle hug. “I’m just going on a little road trip.” “Where are you going?” “West Coast.” “Damn, Jay. How long have you known about this?” He releases a frustrated breath of air. “Once this case was wrapped up, I already had a few weeks of vacation scheduled. Of course, I wouldn’t have gone if Norman hadn’t been caught. But If I don’t take it now, I’ll lose it... and Mel, I really need it. I need a damn breather.”

“I know you do.” “Besides, you don’t want me to cramp your style and be a third wheel around here, do ya?” He chuckles and ruffles the top of my head. “Just be careful and keep me updated.” “I will.” “Stay safe.” I can never say it enough. He always seems to find danger, and it petrifies me. “Always, Mel.” He hugs me and holds on a little longer than he usually does. “Call me if you need me, okay?” I nod into his shoulder and sniffle when the tears threaten. Then I wipe my snot on his shirt like I always used to when I was little. I have always been a crier, so when he would hug me, I’d wipe my face on his shirt like the immature brat I was. “Ew, Mel.” He pretends to gag. “You’re disgusting.” “You love me.” He messes up my hair and kisses my forehead. “I do. Even if you’re a brat.” “Never.” I grab his hand before he steps out of the living room and walks away for God only knows how long. “I love you, Jay. Thank you for everything.” “You’re my sister, Mel.” I let his hand drop and I wipe the corner of my eye. That was his go-to line when I apologized for being a burden, or when I ruined his plans, or when I felt guilty for him having to raise me instead of partying like all the other guys his age did. From my place on the couch, I hear him talking to Smith. When the front door closes, I get up and almost run into Smith. He smiles. “Hey. You okay?” “Yeah. I am.” “Good.” “I need a shower. Badly.” “’Kay. What sounds good for dinner?” “My stomach still feels kind of funny from the drive-thru earlier, so how about something light?” “All right, baby. Go shower, and I’ll figure it out.” * * * I never made it back downstairs to eat. After my shower, I sat on the bed to put socks on. When that was done, I lay down and fell asleep. I don’t think I’ve ever slept as peacefully as I did last night. Smith’s arms are still around me, and even though I don’t ever want to move, I quietly slip out to use the bathroom. When I finish, my stomach rumbles, so I head down to make something to eat. When I pass Erik’s room, his door is cracked, and I peek in since the light is on. He’s sitting on the end of the bed with a bottle of vodka dangling from his fingers. I tap my nail against the wood, and he whips his head up. “Are you okay?” A humorless laugh echoes in the sparse room, and I step inside. “Erik? What’s up?” “I didn’t drink it.” He holds up the clear glass. “I wanted to, but I didn’t.” “That’s good.” “I was pukin’ my guts out the other day. Thought I had the flu or something.”

“Are you better now?” “I was really fuckin’ worried about you, Mellie. I was scared and felt helpless that I couldn’t do anything other than be here to feed your cat.” I lean against the dresser while he finishes talking, ’cause I don’t really see where this is going. “I was detoxing, Mellie, and I didn’t even realize it. I’m a fucking alcoholic.” “Do you need me to do something?” He shakes his head and tosses the bottle from one hand to the other. “Nah. I’m just glad you’re okay. I think I’m going to try to sleep now.” “Okay.” I walk out and close the door behind me but not before hesitating. Ultimately, I go down to the kitchen, babying my side on the steps. My body craves caffeine, even though I had a good sleep, so I brew a pot of coffee. While waiting for my cup of coffee, I search the fridge for something to eat but find it empty. My clients will be pissed or worried; I’m not sure which. I disappeared without a word, but I hope they’ll understand when I explain I had an emergency. So I just open my laptop and wait for Smith so we can go out to breakfast. As I’m replying to emails and sending messages, my hair is brushed to the side, and a warm mouth tickles my neck. A girly giggle flies out of my mouth. “That tickles.” “Mornin’, sunshine.” He kisses my cheek and heads for a mug and the coffeepot. After he tops mine off, he sits next to me and rests his chin on my shoulder. “Whatcha doin’?” “Playing catch-up. Speaking of,”—I turn to him so my legs are between his—“what’s going on with the house?” “It’s done.” “What? Really?” “Yeah. The boys all worked overtime to finish. I called the realtor you wanted to use, too. So she’s just waiting for you to sign some stuff before she puts it on the market.” That’s such a relief. The last thing I wanted was to deal with that damn house. Although, if it wasn’t for the house, I would have never met Smith. “Okay. I’ll do it right away.” “She actually has a couple interested in it already; they’re coming to look at it before it officially goes on market.” “That’s awesome. The sooner we get rid of it, the better.” “Nate found a box under the back patio when he was finalizing the landscaping yesterday. Said we should come take a look at it.” “Hmm.” I take a sip of coffee and then close my laptop. “I’m ready to have the best thing ever in my mouth again.” He chokes on the drink he just took and pats his chest. “What?” “Those pancakes. I’m starving.” “You... okay. Let’s get ready, and we’ll go.” He stands and adjusts himself before he reaches for my hand and leads me upstairs. We get ready, I feed Mouse, and then we head out to the restaurant. They are seriously the best pancakes ever, and I will totally be coming here on the regular. Since Nate thinks the box is something we should see, we head to the house next. I have a hard time looking at Richard’s house. He stalked me then saved me. It’s difficult to process. I haven’t really tried, to be honest. Smith opens the front door of my grandpa’s old home. “Wow, it looks great.” I walk through and am amazed at how good it looks. “It’s like a completely different house.” “Yeah. It’s not as good as one of mine normally is, but it’s still acceptable to put on the market.” “How good are yours normally?”

“Better quality material. Better paint. But because we ended up doing a rush job at the end, the guys had to settle for some things we don’t normally use or do. It’s still a great house, though.” I stop in the kitchen and lean against the counter. “You’re really passionate about what you do, aren’t you?” He shrugs. “Why do you have a hard time admitting that you actually like your work?” “You’re standing in the exact place I first saw you, ya know?” There goes his avoidance again. “Yeah?” “I didn’t even see your face, and I knew you were about to change things for me.” “I didn’t know it until I ran into you outside and you touched me for the first time.” The left side of his mouth tilts up in a sexy smile, and he walks closer. “When we tell our kids how we met, I’ll be able to say it was love at first sight. ’Cause it totally was.” My heart swells, and I bite on the tip of my thumbnail. “You want kids?” “I want everything with you.” He puts his hand under my chin and tilts it up so he can kiss me, even though it’s something I’m always willing to do. I eagerly welcome his mouth on mine and I kiss him back. My hands rest on his pecs, and I grip the material there. He nips at my lower lip and pulls himself away. “Let’s find out what’s in the box.” My tongue slides across the love bite, and I nod. “Okay.” He reaches behind me and rips open the plastic bag surrounding the metal container. “This is really rusty. Must have been down there for a while.” His fingers tug at the lid and twist it side to side until it pops open. There’s a baggie that has some spots of brown water on it, but otherwise, that’s the only thing in there. “What’s in it?” “I dunno.” Smith sets the container in the sink and lifts the baggie, giving it a little shake to get the excess water off. He peels the seal apart and takes out a picture. “Oh, my God.” “Who is that?” I grab his wrist to twist it so I can see it better. It’s a portrait of a beautiful woman wearing a dress and sunhat so indicative of the days when life was simpler. “Wow. What a beautiful woman.” She’s looking directly at the camera and laughing with love in her eyes at whoever is behind the lens. Smith turns the old photo over and reads the writing out loud. The one that got away. “What in the hell? Can you open that letter, baby?” I rip open the envelope and pull out a worn piece of paper. “Do you want me to read it out loud?” He doesn’t answer me verbally, but nods as his eyes memorize the picture between his fingers. My dearest Bethany, It’s been four years since you left me, and not a day goes by that I don’t regret my actions. Even though you married the man who built what was supposed to be our home, this house will always be my reminder that you were real. I hurt you, and he was there to pick up the pieces, and for that, I can’t fault him and will never forgive myself. “Oh, my God.” I’m the one in shock now. My Mellie is expecting, and as much as I try to love her as I love you, nobody will ever take your place. She’s a good woman, and it’s time I let you go. At least, I will try. I know I don’t deserve you,

and I never will. My intention is not to sway your opinion of me, but rather to finally close the chapter on us. My only hope is somewhere down the road, our souls will meet, and you can see me for the man I was when we first met... yours. Love always and forever, Calvin “What is happening?” I ask. “I... I think our grandparents used to date.” Smith grabs the envelope from my hand and looks at the front. “That’s my grandparents’ old address.” “Look.” I point at the red stamp on the front. “It was returned to sender. She never got it.” “Or she didn’t want to get it.” “I was named after my grandmother. My mom told stories about what a wonderful woman she was; I remember that. Some of her favorite recipes were from my grandmother. She still talked to my mom after she was kicked out of the house, before she passed from cancer. My mom never knew why my grandma stayed with a man who kicked their only child out of their home.” Smith sets the picture on the counter and paces in front of me. I’m just as confused as he is, if that’s how he’s feeling. Maybe he’s mad... or happy. I can’t really tell. “Honey, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” “This is insane.” He stops in front of me and grabs me by the shoulders. “Do you realize what this means?” “What?” The handsome face I can’t wait to wake up to every day for the rest of my life grins. “We made fate our bitch.” “Who’s Faith?” “No, baby. Fate.” “Oh. I’m still not positive what’s going on right now, to be honest.” “Your grandpa, who was dating my grandma, fucked up and lost her. My grandpa, who built this house, which, by the way, I didn’t know, was there at the right time and scooped her up. Events happened, decades passed, generations were made—and we found our way back here. To each other.” “My grandpa fucked with fate…” “And we fixed it.” “Oh, my God.” “I know!” He squeezes my cheeks together and roughly kisses me. “I want to pick you up so badly right now, but I don’t want to hurt you.” I want that too. “This is unbelievable.” “I love you.” “I love you, too.” “Wanna come to the office with me and see if I can dig up the old blueprints?” “Hell, yes.”

Chapter 25 Mellie Three weeks later…

“Honey, I’m fine, promise.” “Okay. If something changes, call me. I’ll jet and be there in a heartbeat.” “You worry too much.” “Never.” “Go.” I shoo him away, but he ignores me. “Kiss me one more time, and then I’ll leave.” Playfully rolling my eyes, I wrap my arms around his neck. “If I have to.” “Don’t act like you don’t love my mouth.” He descends on me, and like he always does, he makes me forget the world. After successfully weakening my knees, he pulls back and gives me a peck on the nose. “I’ll call you later, okay?” “’Kay.” I watch until he pulls out of the driveway, then I grab my purse. “Wish me luck, Mousie.” She meows at me in response. Before I get in my car, I take a deep breath. “You can do this,” I tell my reflection in the rearview mirror. Smith thinks I’m going for a final checkup, but I lied. My last one was a week ago. I’m so nervous, because I’ve never lied to him and I hate it. And, I’m afraid it will hurt really, really bad. I push the fear aside and drive to my destination. When I pull up to the address I was given, I cringe a little at the condition of the building. But when I’d searched for a tattoo artist, his name had come up, and this was the only appointment he had available due to a cancellation. Getting out of the car, I take a deep breath and walk to the door. Right as I step inside, a man looks up from the couch where he’s sitting. “Hey. Are you Mellie?” “Yes. Vaughn?” “Yup. If you’re ready, we can start right away.” “As ready as I’ll ever be.” I always thought tattoo artists had head-to-toe tattoos, but apparently, I was wrong. He definitely has a lot, but an entire arm is bare. Who knows, maybe he’s covered everywhere else. He leads me to a room and gestures for me to put my purse on a chair. “Where did you say you wanted it?” “I think on my hip.” When he chuckles, it makes his eyes light up. “You think?” “No. I know. I know I want it on my hip. I’m sorry.” I wring my fingers together. “I’m nervous.” “It’s okay.” He pats the black vinyl seat. “Hop up and lie down.” I do as he says and flinch when the cold material touches the back of my leg. “Can you roll the top of your shorts down and pull your shirt up a bit?” I take a breath and do as he asks. “You didn’t change your mind about the font or anything, did you?” “No.”

He rubs my skin with some cold liquid, and I shiver. “Sorry.” “No worries.” I push my nervousness aside and focus on what he’s doing. He puts on a pair of black gloves and grabs a piece of paper from the small desk. He meticulously positions it before he sets it on my skin, presses it down, and then peels it away. His head tilts back and forth a few times before he hands me a mirror. “That look okay?” With a shaky hand, I take the mirror and study the single word. It has so much more meaning than a possessive term. The first time Smith kissed me, he said that’s what he was to me. And deep down, I know it’s what I am to him. Yours isn’t just a word; it’s my symbol to him that I’m in this for the long haul. He’s mine, and I’m his. “You’re going to add to the background, right?” “Yeah, I’m just freehanding that. It’ll look like you asked—a broken heart pieced back together. “Okay. Let’s do this.” I get another smile and kick myself in the ass for thinking about how damn attractive this man is. Here I am getting a tattoo to symbolize my love for Smith, and I’m blushing at another man. Guess that means I’m starting to heal. When he presses his foot to the pedal, and the first vibration hits my skin, I jump. “Sorry.” “No biggie. Take a breath.” Breathe. “Tell me if you need a break, okay?” “Yup.” I close my eyes and try to take myself to my happy place. This time, though, it’s not a beach with nothingness surrounding me. It’s Smith. It’s his voice and his smile and his eyes. It’s the way he makes me feel beautiful and safe. It’s waking up each morning next to a man who literally took a bullet for me. It’s sitting on the deck and watching the sunrise and knowing that each day will be better than the last. It’s also realizing that I am more than my past. I live my life the way I want to now. I am not a victim anymore but a survivor and a goddamned warrior. Smith casually left the business card out for the therapist, and I begrudgingly called her. Five years ago, the woman supposed to help me made me feel as if my emotions weren’t valid. Like I should just get over what happened. She taught me how to count backward from ten when I had a panic attack, but that was it. I’ve only talked to Dr. Reynolds on the phone, since she’s back in Chicago, but for some reason, she has made the time for me. She’s made me look at things in an entirely new light and gives me hope I can live a normal life. Things are still a little fresh, but being hopeful is much preferred over feeling helpless. “Okay, you’re done.” “What, really?” “Yeah, it’s been an hour, babe.” He hands me the mirror again. “Take a look.” When the full image reflects in the glass, I almost drop the handle. “Wow. It’s beautiful.” Somehow, he intertwined the cracks and the letters and made it as if it’s one piece. “Thank you.” “No problem. I’m glad you like it.” He covers it with plastic and tape and goes over the care instructions. I hand him some cash, a lot more than I thought a small tattoo would be, with a large tip, and finally hop off the table. “Thank you so much. I really do love it.” He doesn’t respond but nods toward the hallway. “I’ll walk you out.” Just as we step out of the room, his phone rings. He pulls it out and looks at the number. Brows furrowed, he hesitates to answer it. “I’ll just walk myself out. It’s okay.” “You sure?”

“Yeah. Thanks again.” He turns his back and answers his phone in a clipped tone. My flats squeak as I walk through the dimly lit space. When I get outside, the bright light burns my eyes, and I squint. Digging through my purse, I grasp my keys and run into someone. “Sorry.” I look up at a very large man, and my eyes glance on either side of him where two other men are standing. Both with baseball hats and dreads. The tall guy in the middle laughs and points at the door. “Tell Vaughn I’ll be right in.” The other two men nod at him and go into the nondescript building. “Girl like you shouldn’t be alone in these parts.” “I, um, I’m not familiar with the area yet, really.” Even though he seems nice, I step back. He smiles, and a gold tooth shines against the sun. “Go ahead and get in your car.” I scurry to the driver’s side, and right as I open the door, he speaks again. “Tell Smith I still owe him.” The muscles in my neck snap, pulling my head back. “What?” “He’ll know what it means.” With those confusing parting words, he heads inside. My nerves are jumbled, and my mind is disoriented, but I get in my car and drive away. The entire drive back, I’m trying to figure out what the hell that guy meant. Smith went to the office today, so he’ll be home early. I know I have a few hours before he gets home, but I want to make dinner so it’s ready for him. I’ve loved cooking for him; it’s something I never knew I would actually enjoy, but I like pleasing him. I pull into the driveway and open the garage so I can slide into my spot. Smith has me in the habit of staying in my locked car until the door is down all the way, so I wait the thirty seconds before I go inside. In the middle of the island are the dried-up flowers from Erik. He had them delivered the day he left. Smith doesn’t seem too worried about him, but I am. The last time I saw him was in his bedroom early in the morning that day. When Smith and I got home from pancakes, Erik was gone. No note or anything. Apparently, that’s his usual MO, but I don’t like it. I’d grown to care about him, and I hate not knowing that he’s okay. When the flowers arrived and the card simply said, Thank you for everything –Erik, I knew he wasn’t coming back. I wish he would, though. I wish I knew where he was and that he wasn’t hurting, but he’s shut his phone off and just disappeared. Smith says he’ll come around again when he’s ready, so until then, there’s nothing we can do. After throwing in a roast and vegetables, I jog upstairs to change my clothes. I dig in the back of my sock drawer and pull out the bundled up hunter green lace. When Jay went home, he paid movers to pack up my stuff and deliver it here, so I didn’t have to buy an entirely new wardrobe. Last week, I think it was right after my phone session with Dr. Reynolds, I had the urge to buy new lingerie. Or any lingerie, for that matter. I’ve never owned anything that I would consider sexy, so I hopped in my car and made a trip to the mall. It was liberating to look in a mirror and think, for the first time ever, that the person looking back at me wasn’t a wreck anymore. My hair was shinier and my eyes brighter. Even my skin was smoother. It’s amazing what the love of a good man can do. I head to the bathroom and take my clothes off then look into the mirror. The tape is peeling off, and even though Vaughn said to leave the plastic over it for a couple of hours, I rip it off and toss it in the trashcan. Trying to get a closer look, I angle my head down directly at the tattoo. My fingers trace around the outside of the heart, my red skin darker than the light shading Vaughn used to fill in the pieces. I accidentally touch the ink and flinch at how sore it is. “Ow.” I can’t stop staring at it. My neck is sore from looking down, so I roll the vertebrae in my neck until I’m looking directly at Smith’s face in the mirror. Wordlessly, he hitches me up and carries me bridal style to the bed and tosses me on my back.

“What did you do?” He kneels between my legs and traces over the letters with his fingertip, but when he does it, it’s not painful. “I love it, baby.” “I wanted to surprise you.” “I’m surprised.” He kisses the skin above and below but doesn’t bring his head up. Instead, he continues moving his lips against me, and after a minute, he sits up. “Who’s yours?” He reaches behind his head and pulls his black t-shirt off. “You are.” “Who’s mine?” His hands go to the buttons on his jeans. He undoes the buckle then kicks them off. “Me.” “You didn’t go to the doctor?” He climbs over me and kisses between my breasts. “No. My last appointment was last week.” His tongue slides up, and when he reaches my neck, he sucks the skin there before kissing it. “You’re a sneaky girl.” “You’ve done so much for me, and I just... I wanted to do something to show you how much you mean to me, and the first time you kissed me, you said that you wanted to be mine—” “I remember what I said.” “And I always heard that if you get someone’s name, it’s bad luck, so instead of Smith, I got yours.” “It’s perfect.” He kisses me on the lips this time, and when he slides his tongue along my closed lips, I part them. He growls into my mouth and deepens the kiss. I push him a little, and he pulls back. “Fuck, sorry.” “I want you to make love to me.” For once, he’s speechless. After all the times he’s said such beautiful words, I finally leave him speechless. Score. “I know you’ve been holding back, and I appreciate you giving me time. But I’m ready. I’ve been ready. I was ready before everything happened three weeks ago.” “Are you... are you sure?” He licks his lips and works his jaw back and forth. “Yes.” He’s back on me before I can even breathe, and I laugh against his mouth. “God, Mellie.” When he kisses down my body, I shiver. “Cold?” “Hot.” “Yeah, you are. So damn hot. Your tits are the perfect size.” He cups them, presses them together, and kisses my nipples. When he lets them go, his tongue makes a trail down before he nips at the skin right next to my tattoo. “This is so damn sexy. And the fact that I’m the only one who will ever see it—” “If I wear a swimsuit, other people will see it.” “Wear t-shirts then. This is for my eyes only. This is mine, you’re mine.” His voice cracks, and I push up on my elbows to see his face. “This heart, whose pieces are put back together, is mine to love and cherish and protect.” He slides lower and pushes my legs, so that my knees fall open. The very tips of his fingers slide through my slick folds, and when he inserts a finger, I tighten around him. “And this.” He adds another finger and pumps in and out. “This pussy is mine. I’m the only one who will ever get to touch it. Kiss it.” He leans down and kisses me, but when he pulls back, he sucks. “Oh, God.” “I’m the only one who will ever get to love it, won’t I, Mellie? Nobody else but me gets to fuck you, right?” “Only you.” “Nobody else gets to see how beautiful you are when you come.” He presses his thumb against my clit and plays me like a violin, hitting the peak in a matter of seconds. I push my heels into the mattress and pant as I’m slowly coming down. He kisses the apex of my thighs and sits up to remove his boxer briefs.

When he then rolls to his back, I raise an eyebrow at him. “Climb up.” The beautiful thing about Smith; I never question him. He always has my best interests and feelings and pleasure at heart, so I don’t hesitate to straddle him. I rest my forehead against his and look into his soulful eyes. “I never thought I’d love someone as much as I love you.” He reaches between us and rubs the tip of his dick against me, resting it at my entrance. His eyes roll back before they focus on me again. “You have the power when we’re in this bed, okay?” “Okay.” He moves his hands up and cups my cheeks. “I’m all yours, baby.”

Chapter 26 Smith

When she sinks down on me, I swear I think I will die. She’s so damn tight I can barely breathe. Death by pussy. She licks her lips and moves up a little then back down. When she stops, I open my eyes, not even realizing I squeezed them shut. “Please tell me it’s almost all the way in.” When laughter erupts from my stomach, it makes her move and sink down a little more, then that makes me sound like a damn porn star with how loud I just groaned. “No. You’re halfway there.” “Really?” She looks down and curses. “It feels good, but when I try to go more it hurts, and I don’t think I can.” When she tries again, she winces. “It’s okay. Just do whatever makes you feel good.” With her hands on my chest, she rises up then slides back down again. I struggle to get words out. “You feel phenomenal, baby.” “You do, too.” Her hips move a little faster, and without warning, she slams herself all the way down, sheathing me in pure euphoria. “Fuck!” I instinctively thrust up, and she falls forward. “You okay, Mellie?” She doesn’t answer. “Look at me, sunshine.” Her face tilts up, and tears fill her eyes. “Sorry. It hurt a little more than I thought it would.” “Don’t you ever say you’re sorry in this bed again.” “I want you to like it, too.” “I do. My God, I’ve never felt anything better. I swear it. You’re so close to making me come just by sitting still; it’s embarrassing.” She kisses my pec and nips at the skin there. “I guess I’d better move then.” “Yeah, that’d be good.” Her movements are calculated now. Her clit rubs against my pelvic bone, and she grinds herself down. This is the most amazing thing I’ve ever been a part of in my life. Her above me, so damn beautiful, trusting me enough and loving me enough for me to be her first. And only. I’m her only. Her thighs shake, and her movements become more frantic. “You like that?” “Yes,” she pants. “Are you close, baby? You gonna come for me again? ’Cause I don’t know how much longer I can last. Your pussy’s so damn wet and tight—” “Yes. Now.” I grab her hips and pound into her from below, no longer able to control myself. When she cries out my name, I fall right over the edge with her. Both of our bodies sink into the mattress, and I suddenly realize we didn’t use a condom. The thought of having a baby with her doesn’t scare me in the least. But she may not feel the same, and I’m a fucking asshole for not protecting her. “I didn’t use a condom,” I whisper into her ear before kissing her in the same place. “I know.” “You’re okay with that?”

“I am. I couldn’t imagine anything better than having a baby with you.” A triumphant and primal version of me wants to pound on my chest, but instead, I settle for saying, “Me neither.” * * * “You’re going to spoil me.” I shovel another bite of meat and potatoes into my mouth. “You deserve to be spoiled.” She grabs her plate and takes it to the sink. After we made love, I took a shower and she cleaned up, not wanting to get her tattoo wet. By the time I got downstairs, she had plated a delicious dinner, and I’m now devouring every bite. “So, when I was walking out of the tattoo place, I ran into this guy.” My fork falls out of my hand. “What the fuck?” Jesus, I really can’t let her out of my sight. I’ve hated that she’s been going places without me these last couple of weeks, but I know she needs her independence. It scares me, but she’s just an amazing woman. So resilient and optimistic. It’s such a beautiful thing to witness. “It’s okay. He was really nice. He told me to tell you he still owes you.” My spine straightens. “Say what?” “He said, ‘Tell Smith I still owe him.’” “What did he look like?” She describes a big dude with a gold tooth. Dirt. I smirk. “Who was he?” Since Richard is locked up, probably spending the rest of his days behind bars, and Norman isn’t breathing anymore, Dirt didn’t get to fulfill his promise. He did, however, keep his ears and eyes on Richard, and that gave me a huge peace of mind. So to me, we’re even. “Old friend.” She doesn’t look convinced. I toss my napkin onto the counter and raise an eyebrow at her. “You didn’t feed me dessert.” When her unconvinced look morphs into one of desire, I know she’s distracted. I don’t want to lie to her, but there’s no way in hell she’s getting those details. “Take your pants off and hop up, baby.” She giggles but uses her arms to pull herself up. I reach for the waistband of her pants and tug the soft material down to her ankles but leave it there. “Sit still.” Since she gave me a taste earlier, I’m freaking starved, so I dive right in. She pulls the hair on my head, and I fuck her with my tongue. Her little moans and her nails in my hair are enough to make me go crazy. I double my efforts, and it’s not too long before her juices slide down my throat. I have no patience; she unravels me, makes me come unglued. In one movement, I stand and slide home, gritting my teeth as I wait for her to adjust. “You good?” “Yes. Please, just fuck me. I’m not going to break.” I grab her chin and wait until her gaze meets mine. “You’re the most precious thing to me, Mellie. I’ll fuck you, but I’m always going to make sure you’re good before I do.” The frown lines between her eyes soften. “I love you.” “Love you, too.” She smirks. “Good. Now, fuck me.” I don’t argue, and I give her what she needs, what we both need. Fast and rough, something I didn’t think she’d like, but absolutely love that she does. It’s not long before we’re spiraling into ecstasy together. Lifting her off the counter, I slide with her to the ground. When she catches her breath, she

laughs. “I did actually make you a cake, ya know?” “Nothing tastes as good as you do.” I kiss her lips. “But I’ll totally eat a piece if it’ll make you feel better.” “How noble.” We get up and clean up, then eat cake. After I help her with the dishes, she falls asleep on the couch watching The Golden Girls. Now I’m watching her, and I don’t care if it’s creepy. She’s mine to watch. Mine to love. Mine to cherish. And it’s the absolute best job I’ll ever have. If someone had asked me six months ago, I would have never thought I could be this fucking happy. Mellie is absolutely everything. Watching her become the woman she was meant to be is nothing short of beautiful. She continues to amaze me at every single turn. And I’m the luckiest bastard in the world. I have moments when I don’t think I deserve the love of such a good woman, but then I look at the picture of my mom and dad that now hangs on the wall. Mellie put it up without me knowing, but it’s something I should have done a long time ago. Hiding their memories didn’t make them go away. If anything, it made them hurt worse. I see the love they had, the pure joy, and in those moments, I truly feel as if maybe I deserve it, too. I deserve Mellie. But then she has to go and smile or laugh, and when she does that... it humbles me. And I go back to questioning how I got so damn lucky to have her. Maybe it was fate. Who knows? We never found out any more information about our grandparents, but that’s okay. Some stories weren’t meant to be told. Some, though? Some were meant to be written. Our story is meant to be written. We have a lot of empty pages ahead of us, and I plan to fill them all. I’m sure my girl will come along and edit them, but once the ink dries, our story can never be unwritten.

Epilogue Mellie Three years later.

“What are you doing out here?” My voice filters through the still of the night, and Smith turns his head to look at me. I give him an upside-down kiss then lean on the front door of the car. During the past couple of years, Smith has tried to fix his grandpa’s car to no avail. Maybe someday he’ll do something more with it, but for now, it’s the biggest yard decoration I’ve ever seen. “Is everything okay?” His eyes soften. “Jay saved me. Did you know that?” “What do you mean?” “When I got the call about my parents and sister.” “I don’t understand, honey.” “I had a gun in my hand. And I kid you not; I thought it was going to save me. Like if I put one, just one fucking bullet through my brain, everything would be okay.” My heart sinks to the ground. “Smith…” “He tackled me. Gave me a few good punches to the jaw. Got a cheap one to my gut, too.” He actually smirks. “If he wouldn’t have done that…” I wipe the corner of my eye and slap him on the top of his head. “I’m glad my brother beat you up. God, Smith. I had no idea.” “Do you ever wonder if they’re watching?” “All the time.” “I think they are.” A raindrop falls onto his forehead. Then another. And one more. He laughs as it begins to pour. Out of nowhere, we’re both soaked in a matter of seconds. I freeze, not sure how Smith will react. When it’s rained in the past, he’s pretended to be okay. He acts like he’s not affected, but I feel his body tense. I see him fighting back fear. It’s something I don’t think will ever leave him, but right now, he’s not running away from it like usual. He sits up and slides off the hood of the car then picks me up and twirls me around. “They are so watching.” “They are.” He kisses me and laughs again then sets me down and wraps me up tight. “I wish they could meet our daughter.” “I know, honey. Me too.” “They would have loved you. And Sophia... she always wanted a sister. You probably would have gotten sick of her. She could be a pain in the ass sometimes.” “That’s doubtful. I grew up with Jay, remember.” “Yeah, but he’s kind of girly, so…” I feel him shrug. “Say that to his face.” “I will. I’ll just make sure he’s holding Jaycee, first.” I laugh and lean back so I can see my husband’s eyes. I need to look into them and make sure he’s okay. Every once in a while he closes himself off, and I do my best to bring him back. “My parents would have adored you. My mom and I always used to talk about my wedding. We’d make pretend bouquets, and

when we went to the grocery store, we would look at the dresses in the bridal magazines. I still think she’s looking down at me and shaking her finger in disgust that we got married in a courthouse.” “Listen, lady. You were pregnant. There’s no way you were going to have a baby out of wedlock.” The rain slows and the sun peeks through one cloud, its rays shining right on us. “It’s not my fault you have super sperm and got me pregnant the first time we had sex.” “I’m a manly man, baby. What can I say?” I roll my eyes at him. Through the years, he’s been the absolute best husband and father a woman could ask for. During my random nightmares and unexpected panic attacks, he’s held me and ultimately healed me. It’s been a while, but I think I’ve come to accept the fact that I went through some messed-up shit. I tried to push it away for a while, but it only worked temporarily. After several phone sessions and a few in person, Dr. Reynolds has given me the tools I need to cope with my PTSD. I have been through hell, but right now, I’m in heaven. My life is perfect, and no matter what the future holds, no matter what cards we’re dealt, I know that we can make it through anything. As long as we have each other, nothing can break us. “Hey. Your kid just shit herself,” Erik yells from the patio. “We’re coming,” Smith yells back. “At the same time? That’s impressive, Smith.” I bury my head in Smith’s wet shirt and stifle a laugh as we walk back to the house. When we get inside, Erik tosses a couple of towels at us. “If you want, I can give you some pointers,” Smith says, as he dries off his hair. “Fuck, no. My wife ain’t complaining. Are you, Polly?” She walks around the corner carrying our daughter, Jaycee Sophia Porter. “Can we ever go a day without talking about how fantastic you are in bed?” “That. Right there.” He wraps an arm around her neck and pulls her close. “That’s why I married you.” She rolls her eyes. “’Cause I know how to overinflate your ego?” “No, because I know you’ll change all the shitty diapers.” We all laugh, but then he whispers something in her ear that has her blushing. “On that note,” Smith says. “Thanks for stopping by, but it’s the little princess’s bedtime.” We walk our friends to the door, watching until their taillights fade before we head upstairs and change into dry clothes. I lie on our bed with our daughter waiting for Smith to come out of the bathroom. Mouse hops up on the bed and rubs her head on Jaycee’s. “Yes, I know. You love her.” I pet her, and she arches her back so I’ll scratch her butt. Smith comes out and plops down beside us. Mouse meows at him then jumps off the bed. “She’s always a bitch to me when you’re around.” “Don’t call her that.” “It’s not like she can’t understand me. Watch.” He leans over the bed. “Who’s the ugliest kitty?” He makes kissy noises, and she walks over to his hand and nuzzles it. “Yes. You are the ugliest little kitty ever.” “You’re such a jerk.” He leans back up and tickles me then Jaycee. “But I’m your jerk.” He kisses my cheek and continues to tickle the cutest little blonde-haired girl in the world. She looks up at her daddy with her big brown eyes and smiles. Her laughter is the most precious sound in the world. It’s something I’ll never tire of hearing. Something I never thought I would do a lot of myself. But Smith? My heart? My other half? He makes me laugh. Every single day. I never realized how funny he was until we both moved on from the past. When the weight of it was completely off our shoulders, he turned into a man who is not only funny, but

also more passionate and loving than I could have ever dreamed. He was perfect before, but now, he’s more than perfect. He’s everything. And he’s all mine.

Other Books by Anna Brooks It’s Kind of Personal Series Make Me Forget Show Me How Prove Me Right Tell Me When Remember Me Now Give Me This Not Your Hero Easy Sacrifice Honest Liar

Acknowledgments They say it takes a village to raise a child, and the same is true for writing a book. I have been blessed beyond words to have the most supportive people in my life. Shout out to my husband for being awesome and giving me everything I need to make my dreams come true. Even when that means I forget to make dinner, and giving me an empty house when I’m on a deadline. I love you. Marianne, Kelly, Crystal, and KC, thank you for continuously giving advice and being there for me, love you all! Tracey, thank you for everything you’ve done to help me. I’m so glad I had the opportunity to meet you!!! THANK YOU to Nikki Belaire, Crystal Singer, Heather Carver, Shannon Ferguson, Nicole Richard, Nancy White, Elizabeth Himsworth, and Kelly Lincoln. I appreciate you taking the time to beta read so, so much! My reader group and release team. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your support. I appreciate everything you do and am humbled by your support. Kari from Cover to Cover designs, Jenny from Editing 4 Indies, Bree from Vivid Words Editing, Stacey from Champagne Formats. I couldn’t do this without you all. Thank you. Erin from Southern Belle, Colleen from Itsy Bitsy Book Bits and Kiki from The Next Step PR, I’m amazed by how hard you all work and appreciate the time you take to help me promote my books. THANK YOU, thank you, thank you to the bloggers for the countless hours you put in, helping to spread the word about the books that you love. And of course to the readers, thank you for allowing me to share my stories with you.

About the Author Anna began writing when she thought the world would want to hear her sick lyrics through song. Since then, she’s realized her childhood dream wasn’t so far-fetched, just misguided. Now she writes romance with real emotions and happy endings. If Anna isn’t writing or reading, she can be found by a space heater drinking a ridiculous amount of Diet Dr. Pepper. She also likes to hang out with her husband and two boys. If it weren’t for them, she wouldn’t ever leave the house. Anna was born in Wisconsin but now lives in the Evergreen State. Want to stay up to date with new releases, sales, and more? Sign up for Anna’s newsletter She’d love to hear from you. Please visit her website for contact information. www.annabrooksauthor.com She can also be found on social media as @annabrooksauth. Please consider leaving a review for this, and any other books you read. They are appreciated more than you can possibly know.